Hi lovely readers,

Thank you so much for all of the reviews on the last chapter. Your support means the world.

This prompt was requested by a guest. I really loved writing this one! Thank you so much for requesting. I really hope this is okay.

Enjoy reading.

Grief was one of the rawest emotions Sheldon had ever had to deal with. He had experienced moments of deep sadness where he felt as if his world was falling apart and moments of pure elation that made him feel as if he was floating on the clouds, they had all just been for a small snippet in time, a snapshot of his life, yet grief, grief had been with him for almost twenty five years. In some form it was an emotion he carried with him every single day of his life.

Often it came in waves; at times the waves felt so big he felt as if he was drowning, other times it made him feel like he was softly sailing on the sea, like he had got this. Over the years, he had learnt that the grief often came at the most unexpected times; a song on the radio, a shared joke, a certain scent, they all contributed to the sudden grief that would at times overwhelm him.

There had been moments of darkness in his life, particularly following the years after his fathers death. He really had been just a child, albeit an incredibly smart child but like any child he was still trying to figure out the world and what it all meant. Losing your father at such a young age, definitely made you question what life meant. Alongside the darkness there had also been beautiful bursts of light; Amy and their two children, they really had been the missing pieces of him. He never once thought he was someone that needed to be, needed to feel completed but Amy, Emily and Arthur did just that.

When he thought back it was the strangest of feelings, his life had moved on so much that he struggled to connect with that child who had just lost his father, that child that was him. He could remember the exact moment he was told, where he was, what he was doing, how he felt. When he was forced to relive that moment in time, it all felt so real. Even today, twenty five whole years after that very day, it still felt so real.

It saddened him deeply to know that he had now lived a good portion of his life without his father in it, twenty five whole years to be precise. For a considerable amount of time, he had lived a life longer without his father in it than he had with. Now he was a father himself, that thought physically broke him, he couldn't imagine not being there to witness the huge milestones in Emily and Arthur's life.

He and his father had a rocky relationship, Sheldon knew that now, he knew it back then. They were both very different people, very different indeed, they struggled to understand each other and both had their own individual interests. George wished Sheldon was a little more rough and tumble and really all Sheldon wanted was his father to at least show that he was proud of him. He was proud of him, Sheldon knew that now, he also knew how proud he would be of the achievements he had made in his life, proud of the life he had built with Amy, their family.

—

"Mumma, is daddy sad?" Emily asked on the drive to school. Even though, she was only five, she was an incredibly intuitive little thing. Her ability to read people's emotions and feelings was a trait that her father found rather impressive, it was definitely a trait she hadn't inherited from him. She just knew things, knew when things weren't quite right, when someone wasn't feeling their best.

Amy knew she would have picked up on Sheldon's emotions this morning. His sunken shoulders and lack of conversation at breakfast time, his ability to only offer a small smile as they talked at the table and his rather awkward half hearted goodbye hug that had clearly left their daughter wanting more.

"I think so" Amy answered, she knew exactly what today was, what this day meant. She had been present for this day for several years and it was always difficult to pinpoint how Sheldon would be, Amy knew that this day in particular would be hard. Twenty five years, a quarter of a century, she couldn't begin to comprehend how he was feeling, how that sudden realisation that you've lived a life so long without your father. The thought alone caused a lump to form in her throat and her heart to break for the man she loved.

"Why?" Emily asked, her voice so sweet and full of innocence. She knew about her grandad George, one afternoon, just over a year ago when Amy was still pregnant with Arthur, Emily had asked the simple question about why he didn't have dad and yet Amy did. Sheldon had explained that his dad got very sick and their was nothing the doctors could do for him. At the time it amazed him how sensitively he was able to explain what essentially was the concept of death to a child but what surprised him the most was how empathetic his daughter was, how considerate, sweet and thoughtful she was. She knew, without him really knowing it himself that he needed a hug and threw her little arms around him, he will always remember what she said next, always be able to hear her little voice and the words 'you must miss him because if anything happened to you and I'd really miss you,'

"You know how grandad George was poorly and the doctors couldn't make him better," Amy posed this more like a question, knowing what children's brains were like. Emily claimed to have forgotten what she had done at school as soon as they left the gates, she wasn't sure she'd be able to remember a conversation from over a year ago. However, they had kept George in Emily's life, open to talking about him whenever she wanted, whenever she had questions, he was a part of her after all and Amy knew that talking about him was a good way of coping for Sheldon.

"Yeah, daddy told me that" Emily nodded.

"Well today is the day it happened and I think daddy is just remembering it all and feeling a little sad" Amy explained, approaching the subject with a gentleness and understanding that only she could.

"Oh" Emily sighed. "That is sad."

—

"Hello," his voice was low and almost like he couldn't even be bothered to speak. If he was being honest, he had only picked up the phone because it was Amy and he was worried something may have happened to her and kids.

"Hey, I've just dropped the kids off" she waited but there was no reply. "I know we're both busy today but I was thinking we could grab some lunch together." Amy had returned to work, just a few days a week, once Arthur had turned eight months. It broke her heart to leave him, that mother's guilt that she had suffered with Emily was back with full force, maybe even more so this time because he was her last, her baby of the family. However, on the days where the kids were taken care of, it left a few stolen moment of time together for Amy and Sheldon.

"I'm not really in the mood" she could just picture him now, sitting in his office, not getting any work done but insisting he needed to be there as it was a distraction, spinning round aimlessly in his chair.

"Sheldon, don't push me away" Amy told him gently. She knew what he was like when he got like this, he would completely shut down, go in to himself and for a while just be a recluse.

"I'm not. I just want to be by myself today,"

Sheldon was stubborn, she knew that much but she also understand why he wanted to be alone. Well, maybe she didn't fully understand, she couldn't imagine how much he was hurting, but regardless she understood. She had to let him come round in his own time.

"Okay. I love you,"

"Love you"

—

For the first time today, Sheldon had smiled at lunchtime. It wasn't one of his usual smiles but it was enough to make the corners of his mouth twitch upwards. The smile had happened when he left his office to go for a walk, only to find a brown paper bag at his feet with a note attached:

Even though you want to be by yourself, you still need to eat. I love you. Amy. x

He loved her with his whole heart and more, more than he ever thought was possible. As he sunk down on to a bench in a nearby park, he took in the sights around him. Dog walkers, runners, young mums meeting for coffee, families laughing together, a whole wonderful world that his father was no longer a part of.

As he opened the brown paper bag and started tucking in to the sandwich that Amy had made him, he started to wonder if any of these people before him had suffered a loss like his. Had the woman who threw her head back with laughter at something her friend had said known pain like this? Did the couple cooing over their baby daughter as they pushed her on the swing know what it was like to grieve? Could passersby tell with just one look that he was hurting? Did he give off a sad energy? Did they feel sorry for him?

He wanted to tell them, he wanted to let them know that they needed to treasure every single moment they spent with their loved ones, to never take a single day for granted because life was short and you never quite knew when it was suddenly going to pulled away from you. Pulled right from under your feet and leaving memories in its place, memories that you didn't even know you were making at the time. Realising the error of his ways, he knew that his very own thoughts applied to him.

Rejecting Amy's lunch when all she wanted to do was make him happy. Little Emily and Arthur throwing their arms around him and squeezing him tightly as they left that morning, in return all they got was a half hearted hug. If anything happened to him right now, would they all know how much they meant to him, how he loved them all so much that it terrified him every single day. Naturally, on a day like today his mind wandered to his father, if could have spoken to them all before he died what would he have told them. What message did he want them all to carry with them for the rest of their lives.

It was almost as if he physically felt the grief leave his body and in that moment he knew he needed to show the people in his life just how much they were loved before it was too late.

—

"I did this today daddy" Emily smiled proudly, as she handed her father a painting, a painting that was slightly crumpled from being placed in her school bag. Sheldon smoothed out the paper and looked at the images, the child like drawings of various things that all resonated with him. "It's all of your favourite things" Emily pointed out. She pointed out the people that were herself, her brother and mother, she talked to him about the superheroes she had drawn and the trains dotted around the paper. Although very child like it was clear an adult at school had also helped her.

"I love it, thank you" he smiled, really smiled this time and took the little girl in his arms and squeezed her tightly. As tight as he should have done this morning.

"Mumma said you were sad today, I wanted to make you happy. My teacher said when she is sad her favourite things make her happy," she told him and his heart melted.

"This has made me very happy" he told her as he kissed the top of her head. "Shall we order pizza?" he asked looking up to get Amy's seal of approval.

"Sure" Amy nodded

"That's my favourite daddy" Emily giggled as she cuddled closer to her father and Arthur suddenly made his presence known at his feet. He peered at her face, hooking her hair behind her ear, he noticed her huge blue eyes, the blue eyes that were his, his fathers.

"It was Grandad Georges favourite too"

Thank you so much for reading. As always reviews are always welcome and SO appreciated. I love knowing your thoughts.

The next prompt I have to fill is another birth one. I feel like it's been a long time since I wrote something like that so I may be a little rusty but just a heads up that if that isn't your thing then the next update might not be for you.

Stay safe

Lots of love.