Hi lovely readers,

Thank you all so much for all of the lovely reviews on the last prompt. It really does mean so much!

This prompt was requested by fluffyreadsnow and is the 4th prompt based around Amy's accident. The other prompts that focus on this are 'Everything To Me', 'Nightmares' and 'Waking Up' so if you haven't already please go and read those first or you might be a little confused.

Thank you so much for requesting!

Enjoy reading.

Amy loved making memories. Ever since she became a mother, she had made it her priority to make memories with her children. Maybe it stemmed from not having the best childhood memories herself, she was determined to give them everything she never had to give them a life full of love and happiness.

Some of the best memories Amy had with them were just the very simple ones. Rainy days when they would snuggle on the couch together and watch movies all day or afternoons where they would bake cakes and play games. Amy prided herself on remembering every single detailed, she treasured every single second and just like her husband, her mind and memory was a pretty incredible thing.

This was one of the many reasons why she felt so frustrated with herself for not being able to remember such a life changing event. The moment just eight weeks ago when her husband and children, the three most important people in her life nearly lost her for good. It pained her to know that a moment she had no recollection was something that would haunt them for a very long time.

Not being able to remember details was scary. Amy had only once experienced this from drinking, the night of her bachelorette party where she had justified such a thing by saying it was simply what one did at these kind of events. This was different though, so different. This event wasn't self inflicted and unlike drinking didn't involve her nearly losing her life. With this there was no starting point, no acknowledgment of getting from A to B.

She had many times tried to think back, to remember the events of that day but all that she was met with was a nothingness, a blank, dark space, an empty memory. She wanted to remember so badly, for the sake of those around her if nothing else but no matter how hard she tried no memories returned.

Sheldon had told her that maybe not remembering wasn't such a bad thing. He didn't want his wife to go through anymore suffering, he didn't want her to remember such a thing. She was okay now, she was safe and that's the way he wanted to leave it.

"Are you okay?" Sheldon asked as he placed her mug of tea on the table in front of her. "You seem a little vacant" he added. Ever since she had returned home from the hospital, Sheldon had become very observant, he watched her whenever he could, making a mental note of her behaviours, her expressions and movements. He had been made more than aware that what she went through was huge and although he had been assured numerous that Amy was doing well, he knew that the brain was a powerful tool and the thought of anything happening to her like that again terrified him.

"I'm okay" she shrugged, staring down at the tea placed in front of her. "I'm just…" she didn't know whether it was even worth mentioning, she knew where Sheldon stood on the matter. "I'm just trying to remember something. I want to at least remember something. Anything" she sighed, sinking back into her chair. She had studied brains for years, how come now it was hers letting her down?

"Amy" his tone was low and his voice dragged out it was very similar to when he spoke to the children after he had warned them already not to do something. "We've been told this could take months" he sat down at the side of her and reached for her hand, her hands felt cold, since the accident her hands were always cold. Sheldon couldn't remember if they'd always been that way.

"It has been months" she could feel herself on the verge of snapping at him. "Sheldon you don't know what it's like to have this huge thing happen in your life and have no memory of anything associated with it," she felt him squeeze her hand tighter. "It's just this zone of emptiness, complete darkness. What if I never remember?"

"Hey listen," he knew had to be the strong one when he saw tears forming in her eyes, tears that she was desperately trying to blink away. He didn't know why it mattered so much to her that she remembered, Amy wasn't even sure she knew herself, but all Sheldon knew is that for her, he had to be strong. "Why don't we do something today?" Amy looked up at him, he knew her question about not ever remembering was rhetorical. "We don't have the kids, let's just do something, me and you, it's been ages"

"Really?" A small smile played on her lips, "you want to be spontaneous," Sheldon suggesting to do something that wasn't planned days, weeks or even months in advance was an incredibly rare feat. Amy was always wanting him to be a little bit more spur of the moment.

He was right though it had been so long since they had spent any quality time together just the two of them, the last time was way before Amy's accident. With the children spending the day with Amy's parents, it was the perfect opportunity for the two of them to do something together.

"I mean it doesn't have to be anything huge, just lunch or a coffee or a walk somewhere" Sheldon suggested. He knew Amy still needed to take things slowly, there were days when she was back to being his Amy, her bright, sparky self but other days, she barely wanted to move from her bed feeling far too tired to just put one foot in front of the other. He understood it was a slow process that just required time, "Or we could just stay here."

After Amy's accident Sheldon made a promise to himself that he would do better. Not that he was doing a bad job in the first place but he wanted to be a better husband to Amy, a better father to Emily and Arthur, he wanted to do anything and everything that he could to be the best version of himself for Amy. Coming so close to losing her, he had told himself that if he was lucky enough to have a second chance with her, he would give her the world.

"No, let's do something" she nodded her head. She'd only been out a handful of times since her accident and she was desperate to get some form of normality back, maybe this could be the start of it all. "Let's go out" she smiled.

—

"After you" Sheldon spoke in a gentleman like fashion as she held open the door to the coffee shop and gestured for Amy to step in side. Their afternoon so far had consisted of a beautiful walk round Pasadena, taking in everything around them and just enjoying being with each other. It amazed them both to know that after all this time together they still hadn't run out of things to talk about.

They both loved their children but time without them just for a day was an absolute godsend, especially after recent events. Emily had barely left her mother's side and Arthur was now starting to follow his big sisters lead. It had taken quite a lot of persuasion and reassurance from all parties to get Emily to leave for her grandparents this morning.

"Thank you" Amy giggled, she could really get used to this. Stepping inside Amy took in her surroundings, the place was busy, bustling with people. Friends catching up over coffee, the busy workaholic tapping away on their laptop, little children not too much younger than her own pulling apart their blueberry muffin with hot chocolate smeared faces. She plastered on a smile for Sheldon but it was suddenly all starting to feel a little too much.

"Sit here" a table suddenly appeared free to the left of them and Sheldon instructed Amy to sit down. "I'll go and order, I'll make sure they get it right this time" he rolled his eyes, the last time they had ordered here, there had beeb a huge mix up with the drinks

"Sure" Amy nodded as she sat down, he had failed to notice how her body language and demeanour had
change. Amy sat back willing herself to relax and calm down, she could feel her heart rate starting to increase and her palms were growing sweaty. She kept her eyes focused on Sheldon, who was stood in the queue, he would keep her centred, she was sure of it.

Amy couldn't place what caused the memory to enter her head, maybe it was the bright lights or the constant chatter around her that left her no time to think or the clang of metal from the coffee machine but she was suddenly transported back to her accident. A brief moment in time when she was lying on the hospital bed, being wheeled from one place to another, the bright lights almost blinding, the creaking of the wheels, that vague recollection of being in and out of consciousness, the scared, unknown feeling and yet feeling almost peaceful. Her husband, her children, their faces seemed to flash before her, they were so close but she just couldn't reach them, she couldn't speak to them. It suddenly felt all very really, all very now and she needed to escape, she needed to get out.

She wasn't sure how long she had been out of it, lost in a moment that wasn't now, she simply didn't feel present anymore, all she knew was that she needed to get out. Every sense was heightened in here and she felt like she couldn't breathe, she needed air. Sheldon clattering their coffees on to the table broke her from her thoughts.

"Sheldon, I need to go" she told him quickly, rising from her seat.

"But…but…I just ordered lunch" he looked confused and couldn't quite understand where this outburst had come from. She had wanted to do something today, he had given her the option to stay home.

"I just need to go" before Sheldon could say anymore, before he could question her further, she was gone. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen her move so quickly. "Amy" he called after her but it was too late, she'd already left and from what he could see through the large windows, she was standing outside on the street.

By the time Sheldon had reached her, Amy was stood against a wall, hunched over, hands placed on her knees as she gasped for breath. Instantly, he was taken back to that afternoon of the accident, walking in and seeing her lying there lifeless on the floor. She couldn't breathe, for whatever reason, right now she's couldn't breathe and he felt as if he was losing her all over again.

"Amy, what's wrong?" he didn't know what else to do apart from ask her that question and place a gentle hand on her back. She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. It was then that something dawned on him, he remembered reading about the symptoms years ago, right before he told Amy he loved her for the first time. She was in the mists of a panic attack.

"I can't… I can't…" she could barely speak, too panicked to string a sentence together.

"It's okay" Sheldon moved round so he was stood in front of her, her hands reached up to grip on to his shoulders. "It's okay, it's okay. You need to take deep breaths Amy, really big, deep breaths. It's all fine, it's okay" even though on the inside he was freaking out, he knew he needed to keep Amy calm. "I think you're having a panic attack, it's okay, it'll pass soon" he told her gently. "It'll pass soon" he kept reassuring her, watching her closely and smiling when she started taking deep breaths.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Amy panted, she felt terrible. Their first little date together in months and she couldn't cope with being out, she couldn't cope with the sounds and sights, it all took her back to a time that for so long she had been desperate to remember and now that she had, she really didn't want to. With each breath she took her breathing was evening out bit by bit but Sheldon still needed her to keep focusing on her breathing.

"It's okay. It's okay. Don't apologise. Just concentrate on breathing" they stood for a few moments longer, neither one of them caring that they were in the middle of the street. Amy continued taking deep breaths as Sheldon simply held her, feeling her relax with each breath, her body unwinding and feeling less tense. "You good?" Sheldon asked after a while, once he felt sure she was back to herself.

She didn't answer him, instead she just wrapped her arms around him, buried her head into his chest and cried. He made her feel so safe, safe enough to just totally let her guard down and cry her eyes out.

"Shall we head home" he asked. As he gently stroked her hair, he felt her slowly nod her head against his chest.

—

The walk home was pretty silent, Sheldon had offered to call a cab but despite wanting to get home quickly, Amy had insisted on needing the fresh air. She was still feeling pretty wobbly and out of sorts but in a very uncharacteristic move, Sheldon held her hand the whole way home.

Once they finally arrived back home, Amy felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She was home, in her safe place. In a place where everything was familiar and no sounds or sudden noises would bring back horrible memories. Sighing she sunk into the couch, letting the fabric cushion her fall, a comfort she didn't feel earlier on.

"I made tea" Sheldon appeared before her with a mug clasped in his hands, tea was the answer to everything, it made everything better and from a young age he had learnt that offering someone a cup of tea when they were in distress was just social etiquette.

"Thanks" she gave him a small smile. "I'm really sorry about today. It's just I remembered something" she told him. She couldn't keep this from him, there was a part of her wondering if she should protect him but her panic attack would have him questioning her until she revealed all.

"You remembered?" he asked, sitting down beside her.

"Yeah, it was this faint memory of laying in a hospital bed. I could see blurred faces around me, everything was so bright and loud and all I wanted was you and the kids. I was terrified Sheldon, really, really scared" she started to explain but the tears quickly took over and Sheldon found himself with this desperate urge to cuddle her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his chest, he wanted her to know that he would never, ever let her be that scared again. "I thought I was ready to get things back on track but what if I'm not Sheldon, what if every time I try to do something that doesn't involve being at home, I take a million steps back"

"It doesn't matter. You're okay Amy, that to me is the most important thing in the world" he squeezed her tightly. "Small steps, we'll just take one day at a time even half a day at a time if we need to" he told her as he kissed the top of her head.

Thank you so much for reading! As always reviews are always welcome and so appreciated. I love hearing your thoughts.

Stay safe

Lots of love