Hi lovely readers!
Thank you all so much for all of the reviews on the last chapter. It really means so much that so many of you enjoy my writing and leave such lovely feedback! This prompt marks my 60th! I cannot believe you guys have given me enough requests and inspiration to write that many prompts, the fact you trust me with your ideas means so much. Honestly, thank you SO much!
This chapter was requested by a guest. As per the request it is told from Sheldon's perspective (it was actually harder than I thought it would be to not include how Amy was feeling). It is a tiny bit similar to the last chapter and probably quite a few things I've written before in the sense that this one focuses on that moment right after their baby is born. I really loved writing this so thank you so much for requesting. I never say this but I actually feel quite proud of this one. I really hope you all enjoy!
Enjoy reading!
The room was hot and sticky. Sheldon felt as if the walls around him were closing in as his heart hammered against his chest at a rate he never knew. With his sleeves pushed back to his elbows, he felt his hand being squeezed to the edge of breaking point, nails digging into his palm. Another sharp cry came from his wife, with each one it was like someone was shoving a knife further into his heart.
He whipped his head down, watching as her face pinched, eyes clenched shut and her hand yet again squeezed his. A low grunt passing her lips as she pushed. He felt totally lost, helpless, like all he wanted to do was take the pain away from her. Without question, he was in complete awe of what she was doing, what she was capable of. The midwives around them were telling Amy to keep going and she did, with a determination and strength that he had never witnessed in someone before. To tell the truth, Sheldon wasn't sure how she was still going, Amy had been at this part for ninety minutes and the whole labour was broaching almost twenty four hours, she'd been in a significant amount of pain with little to no sleep for almost a whole day.
Suddenly, they were telling her to breathe. Sheldon felt as if that was all he had done throughout her labour, helping her breathe, reminding her to breathe, telling her to take deep breaths. It was the one thing that had comforted him throughout all of this, knowing that he could at least do something he hoped to be supportive and encouraging. He watched as she followed their instructions, her head titled back, eyes closed, her chest and shoulders rising heavily as she took deep heaving breaths.
Searching his brain, he couldn't recall a a time where he had been in a significant amount of pain to the point where he couldn't remember how to breathe. He was always such a careful person, some would say over cautious. As a child, he thought every single thing through, weighing up the risks and element of danger, even as an adult he took that very same approach. He had never broken a bone and often didn't get himself into situations where pain was expected or experienced. There was the time when he dropped a rock on his foot, that was probably the closest he had ever come to feeling slightly out of control because of pain.
They reminded Amy to slow down her breathing, she started panting, puffing air out through her cheeks. Sheldon reached down, gently brushing a few pieces of fallen hair away from her face. Despite his hand in hers, he wanted her to know that he was there, that she was all he was focused on. He noticed her chest didn't seem to be rising as heavily as before and a steady pattern had started to take form. Her legs however, were trembling, vigorously shaking from where they were bent up, was this normal?
"Sheldon" his wife's voice snapped him from his thoughts, her was voice was tired and quiet a complete contrast to the sounds she'd just been making. For the first time in a while his eyes met hers, now he was looking at her properly, he could see just how tired she was, he wasn't sure he'd ever seen anyone look so exhausted before. "I can't do this" she whimpered, her eyes looking glassy, clouded with tears that broke his heart.
He knew she could. She'd come this far already but he really didn't know how. He didn't know how any human being got through this in one piece, sure he'd experienced minor pain before but this was another human being coming out of another human being. He found the whole thing preposterous and couldn't quite believe that people went on to have more than one child. Who in their right mind would want to experience this more than once. Some even multiple times.
"Amy, you're so close" the midwife beat him to it, gently placing her hand on Amy's knee to steady the shaking. "With the next contraction, we just need a few really big pushes and then your baby will be here" she smiled up at them but Sheldon was too busy processing the news that his baby was just minutes away from being born to notice if Amy was smiling too. He was about to become a father, he had had nine months to prepare and suddenly felt more unprepared than ever.
He felt Amy squeeze his hand and suddenly his attention was back on her, it also drew him to the fact that his hands were now shaking just as much as her legs. She gave him a small smile and brought their interlocked hands to her lips, kissing the back of his. It was as if she could read his mind, sense his own thoughts and feelings despite her own pain. In that moment something clicked within him and he realised just how much he loved her, maybe even more so than he ever thought was possible, people had told him about this, told him that after watching her go through labour he would never love her more, he was cynical at first but it was totally true.
"You're nearly there" he whispered kissing her forehead. "I love you."
He heard Amy audible inhale, sucking in a sharp breath, with her chin on her chest and a final squeeze of Sheldon's hand she started to push. They didn't know what they were having, Sheldon had been desperate to know, he wasn't a fan of surprises and wanted to be prepared but Amy wanted to wait and after watching what she had just gone through he would happily have given her that decision a million times over.
"Oh" a whimper from Amy brought his attention yet again back to her, seeing her like this was breaking his heart. "I c…" she was going to tell him she couldn't do it but she could, if he was sure of one thing it was how incredibly strong she was.
"You can, you can" he smiled down at her, hoping that she believed him, that the faith he had in her would be enough to get her through this last little bit.
"One more Amy, you're almost there" Sheldon heard the midwife cheer excitedly but his gaze was solely fixed on Amy, he couldn't tell you what else was going on in the room right now, she was all he could see.
"You're almost there" he repeated the words, feeling as if they brought a comfort to him, reminding him that this was soon going to be over and Amy would no longer be in pain. She reached across, taking his free hand in hers also and squeezing it just as tight as the other, she dragged him closer to the bed, bringing their interlocked hands to her face as she buried into them.
Everything that followed happened so quickly and yet it was as if Sheldon witnessed the whole thing in slow motion. A cry of relief left Amy's lips and she suddenly relaxed back against the bed, utterly exhausted. Feeling the grip she had on both of his hands loosen, he realised that it was all over, after twenty three hours and forty seven minutes of labour it was all over.
Looking down, he followed Amy's gaze and where her hands were reaching out to. A baby. This tiny little baby that was covered in all sorts of things that would normally repulse him was being passed up to Amy. It all happened in seconds, he couldn't quite process what was going on.
"Oh my god, oh my god, hi," Amy sounded elated as she gasped for breath, her arms instantly wrapping around their baby as the midwives around her were rubbing the baby's back with towels. "Hi, hello, oh my god, you're here, you're here" all he could hear was her voice, his body felt completely numb and his feet felt glued to floor. He couldn't move or speak for that matter, all he was aware of were two things, one; that his heart was thumping so loudly he thought it was going to fly out of his chest and two; that a baby, a real life baby whose birth he had just witnessed was lying on Amy chest.
Suddenly a loud wail pulled him from his thoughts and brought him back to the room, this little person on Amy's chest was crying, he didn't mind though, that meant everything was okay. He'd been so shell shocked by everything that it hadn't occurred to him that for those brief few moments their baby hadn't cried. Amy was crying and he quickly became aware of the fact that his eyes were a little misty.
He couldn't recall the last time he had cried. He hadn't cried when Amy accepted his proposal, when they married, when they won their Nobel prize, when Amy had told him she was pregnant. He hadn't cried once during any of those life changing events. As he cast his mind back he probably hadn't shed a tear since he was a child.
"Congratulations you two, she's absolutely perfect" he caught the midwifes eye as she muttered the pronoun. She. The baby was a girl. A daughter. The revelation that they had had a little girl caused Amy to cry even more and forced him to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat. He was blinking back the tears but could hardly see straight because of the glaze on his eyes.
"Sheldon" Amy reached her hand out to him, gently stroking his arm. "We have a girl" the smile on her face was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. There had been many times throughout their relationship when Sheldon had witnessed her beauty, their wedding day and that beautiful white dress being the first thing that sprang to his mind but this moment, this right here, she was just beautiful.
Her words rang in his head and he thought he might pass out.
Their baby.
A girl.
A little, baby girl.
Their daughter.
Maybe it was because he was incredibly overwhelmed by this instant rush of love that he had never in his life felt for anyone or maybe it was because he was absolutely terrified of being a father of in some way messing up this innocent little life. But for the first time, in quite possibly decades, he found himself crying at the sight before him.
—
Sheldon Cooper had spent the majority of his life thinking he didn't need anyone. Years ago when all of his friends were dating and desperately trying to find that one person to call their wife, he really couldn't understand the appeal. As far as he was concerned he had already found the love of his life. Science. Sheldon Cooper did not need anyone or anything in his life to help him achieve greatness or feel complete. Then came along Dr Amy Farrah Fowler and flipped all of that upside down.
She became his companion, his best friend, his security blanket, his right arms and most importantly his love. He realised, probably at a slower rate than most, that she was the one person who could bring him happiness when science couldn't, the one person who aside from his mother and meemaw loved him for who he is, exactly the way he was, quirks and all. She was his future and he didn't want to do life without her, nor after all these years could he remember how.
It was at 3.14 am on May 17th when Sheldon felt his world changing again. The moment his daughter entered the world and changed the course of his future as he knew it. Instantly, that rush of love he felt was overwhelming, never had an emotion hit him so quickly and so hard, it all but terrified him a little, he could still feel the tear marks on his cheeks as he gazed at his wife and daughter.
After cutting the cord with shaking hands and in the most clumsiest fashion he was sure the midwives had ever seen, their daughter was taken off to the corner of the room to be weighed and have those first newborn checks he had read about. The other medical staff in the room tended to Amy and again for a moment, he felt a little lost, not sure of his place or what to do.
The room felt like it was spinning again, he still couldn't comprehend what had just happened. He was now a father, he had a baby, a little person that he was responsible for. Glancing between his wife, who had not stopped smiling since the birth and his daughter, who he could still hear whimpering, he didn't know what to do. He hadn't read about this part, the books and research hadn't said what to do here.
Thankfully, he didn't need to wait much longer as he was suddenly pulled from his trance when someone walked past him with a little bundle in their arms. That little bundle being his daughter, he watched them carefully, holding her with an effort and expertise that he lacked, his heart leapt in his chest willing them to be very careful with her. She was so precious and the thought that she could come to any harm hurt this heart. He relaxed once she had been placed in Amy's arms and once again his wife's face lit up like a Christmas tree.
Twenty minutes after that very moment and the room was still and silent, a peaceful lull had settled over them, a total contrast to how things had been in here just thirty minutes ago. Reaching up, he wiped his cheeks, ridding them of the tears that clung there. He couldn't tear his gaze away from Amy and his daughter, he was bursting with love and pride for Amy. What she had been through, what he had just witnessed would be something his brain would never let him forget, it was the most intense, scary and amazing moment of his life. It baffled him to know that that little person who had just caused his wife so much pain was now the love of his life, he couldn't understand it but maybe that was just the beauty of it all. For the first time in his life, he didn't need to understand something, he just needed to feel and go with it.
"I can't believe she's here. I feel like I'm going to cry every time I just look at her. I can't believe she's mine" Amy spoke, her voice a little hoarse from labour. Not much had been said between them, it didn't need to be, they were both just soaking up every little detail, drinking it all in because they would never have this moment with their very first child ever again.
Sheldon had seen Amy hold many babies over the years. Nieces and nephews that his sister seemed to produce at quite a rate, Howard and Bernadette's children, Penny and Leonard son, she had held and loved them all but Sheldon had always seen the sadness in her eyes. She had wanted to be a mother for a long time and Sheldon knew she had held these babies close to her, wondering when it would eventually be her time. The happiness he felt for her to be able to experience this moment caused him to nearly cry again. Unlike all the other babies Amy had held, this one was theirs, they got to keep her forever.
"Sorry, I've been keeping her all to myself" Amy looked across and smiled at her husband, he couldn't get over how beautiful she was and how much his heart was just bursting with love. Watching her interact with their daughter, her gentle tone, warm eyes and gorgeous smile. She was already the most incredible mother.
"It's okay. You did all the hard work, you can cuddle her as much as you like" he smiled taking hold of her hand and squeezing it tightly. He meant every word he said, they had their whole lives together, he wouldn't begrudge Amy moments like this but he was also doing this to protect himself. Already from a far, he loved this little girl more than anything in the world, how was he going to feel when he held her in his arms for the very first time and really took her in, the thought made him want to fall apart and crumble.
"It's okay" she smiled at him, her eyes looking at him gently, he knew she could read his thoughts, she had told him in the past that apparently she could read him like a book. He figured this was one of those moments. "I think she's ready to meet her daddy" she smiled again, this time the corner of her eyes crinkling and her eyes sparkling however, this time Sheldon could see the exhaustion behind them. She needed to sleep, needed to rest so did he really but he knew that now came secondary to her. Amy laughed, "oh my gosh, you're a dad, can you believe that" her voice was so soft and she looked as if she was about to cry again.
"No, not really" he shook his head, everything was taking a while to sink in, much longer than he would have expected for someone with his level of intelligence.
Amy continued to smile, he wasn't sure she would ever truly stop. Already the joy this little girl had brought to their life was huge. "Hold her" Amy suggested gently, glancing down at the little girl in her arms, her huge eyes taking in the world around her.
"Okay" Sheldon nodded and swallowed down the nerves. Of course, he couldn't prolong this moment for much longer, he couldn't go on for too long without holding his daughter, no matter how much it terrified him, that was just crazy. "Amy, I really don't know what I'm doing," he had been reluctant to hold babies in the past and of course none of them were his so he had a fairly nonchalant approach to the whole thing. Everyone who had held her so far simply did so with ease, they oozed confidence making it look effortless, including Amy.
"You'll be okay" she smiled reassuringly, "I promise you, it will okay" Sheldon watched as she shuffled in the bed, she was moving their daughter in her arms to make the pass over easier. He trusted her with his life and if she had faith him, if she was telling him that everything would be okay then he would have to believe that.
Slowly rising to his feet, he shuffled closer to the bed, leaning forwards with his arms cradled together the way he had seen others doing. As he held his arms in position, he could feel them shaking, he had to stop this, he couldn't be shaking with such a precious little thing in his arms. Carefully, Amy passed over their daughter placing her into Sheldon's arms who suddenly became aware of the little weight he was holding.
"Are you okay? Do you have her?" Amy asked, her hands were still underneath their daughter, supporting her until Sheldon told her it was okay to let go.
Sheldon nodded. "I have her, yes"
"Just make sure you support her head" Amy advised gently. Sheldon felt Amy's hands slide away from underneath their daughter, the hand that had been cupping her head the final thing to leave. With Amy's hands out of the way, Sheldon now realised he was holding his baby, his little girl for the very first time.
Silence fell for a moment as Sheldon simply stood there as still as statue, his feet had seemed to have lost the ability to move, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt this little girl in his arms, he was so tall and she was the tiniest thing he had ever seen, what if he dropped her? What if she wiggled far too much and he simply couldn't keep hold of her? For now at least, standing still was a good option.
"Oh Amy, she's just…" for the first time in his life Sheldon Cooper was rendered speechless. He simply couldn't find the words to describe her, he wasn't sure he had the vocabulary to do her justice.
"She's pretty perfect isn't she?"
"Yes, yes she is" his eyes never once left her and maybe that was all he needed. She was perfect, in his eyes, she was the epitome of perfection. He wondered if every parent felt this way, did they all feel that rush of love like he did, did they all think that their child was the most perfect thing to enter this world. Why he thought she was so perfect he didn't know. She couldn't walk or talk yet, she hadn't achieved anything incredible, really they were just starting out their little journey together and simply through being she was perfect enough. It made him wonder whether once upon a time his parents felt like that about him.
Hearing sniffles, he looked up to see that Amy was yet again crying however, it wasn't the cries that captivated his attention, it was simply the way she was looking at him. There was so much love there it made his heart do something funny, it was exactly the same way he had been staring at them both earlier, to know someone loved him like that made him feel very special.
"I'm sorry" she wiped at her eyes, a little laugh escaping as she did so. "I'll stop crying soon, I promise. You just look…you look so good with her, I never thought I'd see this, you look so happy" more tears fell from her eyes. He hadn't quite realised he'd been grinning the whole time, smiling down at his daughter like the Cheshire Cat. It was true though, he was beyond happy.
"I am happy Amy. Thank you for everything, thank you so much for her," thanking her didn't seem enough, everything she had been through he didn't know how he would ever repay her for such an incredible gift.
"You don't need to thank me" she reached out to touch him, he wanted to touch her too but he couldn't quite figure out how without dropping his daughter so kept his hands firmly in place. "I mean, you did help a little bit" she laughed, stifling a yawn.
"You need to sleep" Sheldon told her, noticing how the baby in his arms was starting to wriggle, his heart leapt in his chest.
"I'm fine" Amy dismissed his concerns, waving her arm however, Sheldon noticed the slightly more comfortable position she seemed to get herself into, he knew if she allowed herself to in minutes she'd be sound asleep.
"Well you can" he smiled. "We'll still be here when you wake up," he couldn't contemplate going anywhere else, he didn't want to be anywhere else in the world.
"In this very position" she smiled sleepily. He knew she had grown aware to the fact he hadn't moved, he could barely even breathe.
"Maybe, yes"
"Just relax" she reached out to him again, stroking his arm. "She knows who you are, she'll remember your voice. Talk to her," the comfort that this woman brought him was unimaginable, he would never understand how he had managed to marry someone so kind and understanding. He hoped more than anything that their daughter inherited those traits.
Watching Amy relax, he knew sleep for her was imminent and it was then that he dared to look down at the little bundle in arms. It wasn't that he had purposefully been trying not look at her, he just hadn't completely taken her all in. Amy's words were ringing in his head, despite this being their very first meeting, this little girl knew him, she knew who he was.
It blew his mind to know that this baby right here was that little person he had felt kicking inside of Amy. He had felt movements and even watched as she moved. He couldn't believe that all of that was her, now a real little person and not that tiny smudge Sheldon had first seen on the scan, that first scan where he had no idea what he was looking for or at for that matter.
She was beautiful. He knew it was cliche but she really was. She had these dark eyes that were taking in everything around her, he imagined everything out here must be pretty bright, there was probably a lot to get used to. Maybe she was just as overwhelmed as he was.
As he scanned her delicate little face, his heart leaping in his chest, he smiled realising that she had his nose. He was totally sure, she had his nose and for some reason that made him feel incredibly proud. Completely transfixed by her, he wasn't sure how long he had been stood there just soaking up every tiny feature, it was only when she yawned and her eyes closed and her little nose crinkled, that he looked up.
"Oh Amy, did you see that? She just yawned," he spoke in complete awe of her. It was only when he looked up that he saw that Amy was sound asleep, clearly he'd been stood staring at his daughter much longer than he thought. He smiled gently. "Oh I suppose we need to be quiet, your mummy needs to rest" talking to his daughter seemed to come quite naturally to him and referring to Amy as her mother made his heart swell with love.
Taking a deep breath and a few small steps back, he finally came into contact with the chair where he had sat throughout the majority of Amy's labour, where he had been sat just moments ago, drinking in his new little family. Carefully lowering into the seat, he felt himself begin to relax, he was much more comfortable here, much more confident with the little girl in his arms.
"Hi" he smiled. "I guess hello is a good place to start isn't it?" he watched as her eye followed the sound, wiggling in his arms, he wondered if this was because of the familiarity of his voice. "I'm Dr Sheldon Cooper but I guess you'll just call me dad. I can't actually believe I'm a father, I wasn't really sure I ever wanted to be but you're just perfect" she stretched in his arms and he marvelled at how unbelievably small she was.
Everyone had told him to cherish and treasure these moments. He had watched his nieces and nephews, his friends children grow up in the blink of an eye and it hurt his heart to know she wouldn't always be this small. When she finally did start growing, maybe he wouldn't be so on edge about holding her.
"I don't really know how to do this dad stuff. I can do lots of things, you'll probably start to learn that as you get older, your mummy and daddy are very clever. Maybe you'll be one day too but being a dad, I don't have a clue what I'm doing" he rambled on, it was almost like therapy talking to her, he kept his voice quiet and gentle, not wanting to startle her or wake Amy. "I want to do a good job though, I really want to do a good job, I'd do anything for you, I really would" he finally plucked up the courage to hold her with one hand, he used his finger to gently trace the outline of her face, her skin was so soft.
"Your mother on the other hand, oh wow. I love her so much, you have the best mother in the world. She's so kind and caring and I know that she loves you so much already. In fact, you have a family around you that are going to be so in love with you. I apologise in advance for when you meet your grandma Mary, she'll fuss over you so much and probably cuddle you for days. Then there is your uncle Georgie and auntie Missy, now uncle Georgie may say some rude words, please promise me you'll never repeat them," he smiled so wide as he thought about introducing her to his family, there was something inside of him that quite liked the idea of showing her off, she was pretty special after all. "And then, there's all of our friends I think Penny might be your favourite, she's mummy's favourite but that can be our secret," he could already picture it now, the little bond these two would have.
Silence fell over them for a few moments as Sheldon suddenly became aware of how tired he actually was too. Sure, he hadn't required half of the strength and energy that Amy had needed but he too had still been awake for now over twenty four hours. He was fighting the urge, despite his eyes feeling heavy, he needed to stay awake. Glancing down he saw that his daughters eyes were starting to close, her lashes were so beautiful, he didn't think he had ever looked at anyone before and noticed their eyelashes but he was sure there were women across the world that would envy his daughters.
"I'm going to let you in on a little secret" for some reason it felt easier telling her this when she was asleep and he knew in order to keep himself awake he had to keep talking. "I was so scared of meeting you, of this moment but now I really don't know why because even though, I've only known you" he looked up at the clock noting the time, "for around forty minutes, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you more than I ever thought was possible, more than I think I can say" he lowered his head, placing a gentle kiss to his daughters forehead, she squirmed gently under his touch.
With Amy asleep and their daughter asleep in his arms, Sheldon reflected on the last day. She was here, she was safe and finally they were a little family and what surprised Sheldon most of all was that he had truly never been happier.
—
Thank you all so much for reading! Like I said in the notes at the top, I adored writing this for you all! As always your reviews are always welcome and so appreciated. I love hearing your thoughts.
Stay safe
Lots of love