Hi everyone,
Thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews on the last chapter, it really does mean so much. I'm sorry that at the moment it seems to be taking me forever to get new prompts uploaded but thank you so much for sticking with me. Hopefully, I'll pick up the pace again soon.
There was an anon who left a prompt requested on the last chapter and I'm so sorry but prompt requested are closed for the moment so I'm unable to take your request right now.
This prompt was requested by a guest and I really hope you enjoy. I really enjoyed writing this one.
Enjoy reading.
When he was younger, Sheldon Cooper's future centred around science and the field of physics. He had never entertained the idea of anything else and to be honest he was happy with that. Truly happy. He would have been okay if all it had been up until his last days was just him and his love for science.
Now his future held a very different fate. Fatherhood. If he was honest, he had days where he still wasn't sure how he felt about it all. Of course, he was excited and already he felt a love like no other for the tiny little life growing inside of his wife but other days, like today, the notion of becoming a father terrified him so much that he just wanted to run away.
It really didn't help that they had spent the morning at one of the classes Amy had insisted on dragging him along too. With three weeks to go Amy was keen to attend a class and learn all that she needed to know and of course, her husband reluctantly towed along.
The crash course in parenthood had done nothing to settle Sheldon's nerves, if anything it placed him on edge more than he had ever been so far. He had learnt exactly what Amy would need him to do when she was in labour, his fingers were already feeling sore from all the different massages he had had to do, he made a mental note not to complain of that when she was in labour for real.
They had learnt how to dress and change a baby. Thankfully, they had used dolls and Sheldon couldn't have been more grateful for this because he was totally clueless. He knew this was all much easier on a doll and despite the instructor telling them to treat this as the real thing Sheldon was able to manipulate their arms and legs into questionable positions and was now absolutely terrified of physically hurting his own child. It was all so much harder than it looked and for the first time in his life he was having to face something that he genuinely felt he couldn't do.
Watching his wife as she slept on the couch, he wondered if she too had all of these worries swimming through her mind. Worries that made her feel sick to her stomach and would keep her awake at night. He was doubtful, Amy was a talker and if she had anything on her mind she would have insisted talking it all through with him. Besides, what did she have to worry about? She would be the most incredible mother. She already was.
The sauce bubbling in the pan brought his attention back to the task at hand, worried it that he might have burnt the bottom he rapidly stirred to liquid in a bid to recover his previous mistake. After a draping a blanket over his wife, and carefully tucking her in, he decided to make himself useful and cook dinner. Sitting around and simply doing nothing wasn't good for him right now, if he didn't have a distraction, he would think and he knew how his marvellous mind worked, it would run into overdrive with thoughts that he didn't really want to think about. He had to keep busy, he needed a distraction and besides, once she was awake he was sure Amy would appreciate the gesture.
He placed the pasta on to boil and proceeded to lay the kitchen table, he was hoping Amy stayed asleep for a little while longer. With his mind occupied, his timings were all wrong and he wanted to at least seem like he had cooking dinner until control. He had surprised himself over the last several months, since they discovered Amy's pregnancy, he had been incredibly caring and attentive, a quality that he didn't even know he had the ability to possess. For the first time in his life someone else had to come first, it was almost as if his priorities were shifting and she hadn't even arrived yet.
As he tended to the pasta, he heard Amy starting to shift on the sofa as she came round from her slumber. The blanket slipped from her body and landed in a pile on the floor as pulled herself up into a sitting position with a yawn. It took her a few moments to get her bearings, she had no idea how long she had been asleep for but she did know that her muscles were aching, she had obviously been curled up in that same position for quite some time.
"How long was I asleep for?" she asked, perching herself on the edge of the couch and stretching out her arms.
"A couple of hours" Sheldon answered. He had actually been tracking how long she was sleeping for, as he knew how important it was for her to rest but he figured she didn't want the time in hours and minutes.
"I must have fallen asleep straight away" she didn't have much recollection of much else after her head had hit the cushions. The mornings event had clearly exhausted her and she was now back to being just as tired as she was during her first trimester, no one quite tells you just how exhausting it is growing a baby. "Are you cooking dinner?" she asked, it took her a while to wake up and take in what was going on around her.
"I am" Sheldon nodded, feeling rather proud of himself. "It's just pasta in a tomato sauce I'm afraid, we need to go grocery shopping so it was just a case of using what's left. Is that okay?"
"It sounds perfect" she hauled herself up from the couch and began rearranging the cushions and blankets neatening it up from her nap. Slowly, she made her way over to him in the kitchen, everything she did at the moment was slow. Sheldon didn't know for sure but he figured when you have a fully formed human baby weighing you down, even the simplest of tasks was pretty hard. "Thank you for all of this" she placed her hand on his shoulder and rose herself up on to her tiptoes to place a kiss to his cheek. She didn't comment on it but she noted that he felt tense. "Can I do anything to help?"
"Nope" he shook his head. "Nothing at all, you have to rest"
"Sheldon" she laughed. "I've just slept for nearly three hours. I'm very well rested, don't worry" although she knew he did, she found it incredibly endearing.
"Well, all you can do is take a seat. It'll be ready in a few minutes" he continued to move around the kitchen as Amy watched. She considered herself to be extremely lucky, every single day she fell even more in love with him, she didn't know of many married couples that could say that. She knew that they were far from perfect but they were perfect together and perfect for one another and she was grateful for that fact every single day.
"Okay, if you say so" she smiled to herself as she turned on her heels and headed for the table, already she noticed the large salad bowl he had laid down in the middle of the table. It was only once she was sat down that she realised how hungry she actually was.
She watched him as he prepared the food, she loved the concentration on his face, how his eyebrows knitted together and his eyes narrowed. His tongue poking out the corner of his mouth as he expertly tried to pour the sauce evenly over the pasta in each bowl. As her due date crept closer, she was thinking about their daughter all the more and wondering who she would look like and which of their traits she would inherit.
"Dinner is served" Sheldon smiled as he placed the bowl down in front of Amy. He had been great ever since they had found out she was pregnant and she knew once all of this was all over a part of her would miss being waited on hand and foot, who knew, he may even keep it up.
Things were quiet over dinner, a comfortable, content silence. The pasta was delicious, Amy wasn't sure whether this was down to Sheldon's cooking or the fact she was absolutely starving. As they continued to eat, Amy had a thought that made her feel a little emotion, that was another thing her friends hadn't been completely honest about, the emotions. It was crazy!
"Sheldon" she placed her fork down, the metal making a clang against the bowl louder than she intended it to.
"Mmhmm" it was clear he was enjoying his cooking too.
"Promise me something" he looked up now, sensing that Amy was going to say something serious, something that she would get mad at him for if she didn't have his undivided attention. He nodded for her to continue. "When the baby comes, promise me we'll make time for stuff like this, time for each other" she knew their lives would be flipped upside down in ways they could never imagine but the thought of losing this, of potentially losing each other broke her heart.
"Yeah of course" he nodded, reassuring Amy before suddenly looking guilty. She could read him better than anyone and didn't miss the expression on his face.
"What? What's wrong?" she asked.
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "It's just that Leonard text earlier. He's having a guys night and asked if I wanted to come over, I said yes but if you want me to stay then I can. We can watch a movie or…."
"It's fine" she smiled to herself as she watched him squirm and stumble over his words. "Go to Leonard's, have fun. I think I may have a little relaxing evening to myself"
"You're really sure?"
"Really sure" she nodded.
—
Even though he knew he was only across the hall, with her due date just round the corner he hated leaving Amy alone. Not just now but in any situation, he was always on edge and his hand was practically glued to his hand.
"Hey" Leonard smiled as Sheldon walked into his apartment. Even though it had been years, Sheldon still found it strange that this apartment was no longer his, it was such a huge part of his life where so many memories were made, he found it hard letting go. "You're early, Penny and Lucas have only just left" he told him.
Sheldon was early for everything, he should have known that but he was also early because he was avoiding having to think, avoiding letting his thoughts take over. As he helped Leonard prepare snacks and only half listened as Leonard went on about Lucas, he thought maybe now was a good time to open up to his best friend, after all he had been through this too and maybe it was all totally normal.
"Leonard, can I ask you something?" he had already reclaimed his spot and despite eating just moments ago, he couldn't resist popping a chip in his mouth.
"Sure" Leonard nodded, sitting back in his chair he waited for Sheldon to continue. It was rare for Sheldon to open up but just by his tone, Leonard knew this was where the conversation was going.
"When Penny was pregnant, how did you feel?" he asked. The question took his friend by surprise, never had Sheldon really shown to care much about peoples feelings.
"How did I feel?" Leonard thought back, it was just a few years ago and yet he felt like Lucas had been in his life forever. He couldn't really remember life without his son and nor did he want to. "I guess I was excited, really excited actually" he smiled as he thought back to it all. "You know I always wanted to be a dad and we went through that time when Penny wasn't sure she wanted babies so when we finally got pregnant, it was…well, it was amazing"
"Did you ever feel scared?" Sheldon asked and it was then that it all fell into place for Leonard. Sheldon didn't really care how Leonard felt when Penny was pregnant he just wanted validation that what he was feeling was okay. Strangely enough, it made the brotherly love they had for one another stronger.
"Yeah, of course it's scary, having a baby is huge. I think it would be strange if you didn't find it scary but it's amazing too and that excitement overrides everything" he was beaming as he was talking, Sheldon knew if Penny was game Leonard would do it all over again and yet here he was, right now absolutely dreading what was about to happen in the next few weeks.
"Did you ever feel like you couldn't do it? Like you didn't…."
"Hey, who's ready for games night" Raji cheered as he burst through the door of apartment 4A rattling the box he was carrying, Howard following behind him. Their arrival signalled that Sheldon's attempt at an open and honest conversation with his best friend was over, even though Howard had done this twice he didn't feel comfort discussing things like this with him.
"You'll do great, don't worry" Leonard reassured him, giving his knee a friendly pat.
—
Sheldon walked across the hallway much later than he had intended too, it was almost midnight and he was hoping that Amy would now be sound asleep. Suddenly, he was thinking again, despite having a great night with the guys and his mind being taken off the subject of babies, now it was over, it's exactly where his mind went.
He carefully turned the handle on the door if Amy was asleep the last thing he wanted to do was wake her up. The apartment was quiet and still and yet there was a gentle glow of light coming from their bedroom. Carefully opening the door, he smiled to himself as he saw Amy sat up in bed reading.
"I thought you'd be asleep" he told her as he closed the door behind him and proceeded to take his daily pyjamas out of the drawer.
"I think I messed up my sleeping pattern earlier" Amy explained as Sheldon got himself ready for bed. "I've had a nice relaxing bath, a little pamper and thought I'd snuggle down with a book and wait for you" she smiled.
"Sorry, I'm late" he apologised as he climbed into bed beside her.
"It's fine. Did you have a nice time?"
"Mmhmm" he nodded. "It was good"
"Hey, are you okay?" Amy asked gently as she turned as much as her body would let her to face him. There was something about his demeanour, his body language that told her he wasn't okay. "You were just quiet at dinner earlier and when I touched your shoulders you felt tense, like the weight of the world was on your shoulders" she had no idea how spot on she actually was.
"It's okay, I can't lay this on you" the last thing he wanted to do was burden her with his own stupid, irrational thoughts.
"Hey, talk to me" she gently stroked his arm. "That's why I'm here, to talk to, you can tell me anything you know that" he met her eyes and realised in that moment that she was perfect beyond words.
He sighed loudly, Amy watched his body rise and fall heavily. "I…I don't feel like I can be a dad" he already felt the weight slightly lift from his shoulders at just saying it out loud to her. He saw her face fall.
"What do you mean?" she asked, her eyes full of concern. He hated himself for making her feel like that.
"I'm terrified Amy and today, today didn't help at all. I just feel like I'm having this huge freak out and it makes me want to run away" he hadn't quite meant to say that last part, he would never run away, never, he could never leave Amy but that still didn't stop him from feeling like this. "I mean we're going to have a baby, this little person that's going to needs us and depends on us for everything and I don't know the first place start Amy, I don't know what to do"
She found his hand and squeezed it tightly. She wished she had picked up on how he was feeling sooner, wished in some way she had been able to reassure him before he'd reached the incredibly overwhelmed stage.
"Like today, all of the other dads there knew what to do. They did such a good job and I was completely clueless. Amy, I've never felt like I couldn't do anything before but this, it just feel so…so much"
He hadn't quite realised that she'd been holding his hand until now and it felt surprisingly comforting. Now his feelings were all out in the open, he felt surprisingly lighter. If Amy was honest, she had been waiting for something like this, she knew change was a big thing for him and this was quite possibly the biggest thing they would ever do. She was surprised it had taken this long for it all to come tumbling out.
"Okay" she started. "Does it help to know that I'm scared too" he looked at her his eyes telling her that he had no idea she felt that way. Why was she scared? She was amazing. "It's only natural to be scared Sheldon, this is scariest thing we've ever done" she laughed nervously. "Come here" she took his hand and placed it on her stomach, his eyes lit up and a smile stretched so wide across his face when he felt his daughter moving.
"She's moving so much" he smiled.
"I know, I have no idea how, I think space is pretty limited" she knew it was getting pretty cramped in there for her and although amazing, every little kick and movement now was rather painful. "She started moving when she heard your voice, she always moves and kicks when she hears your voice. Sheldon, she doesn't care if you can't change her right the first time or if you get in a muddle with how to dress her. She just needs to be loved and I know you'll give her that in abundance. I think that's a big reason why you're panicking now because you love her so much"
He would never know what he did in life to deserve her, to deserve the little family that they would soon have. How did she know exactly the right things to say and do, how did she instantly know how to make him feel better and stronger. She was the perfect partner in every way possible.
"I want to do a good job so much. I want to be the best father Amy , but there's just something telling me I won't be able to do it"
"Stop doubting yourself. As soon as she is here, I promise you it will all click into place. You're going to be wonderful Sheldon, I just know it and when things get tough, you've got me" she squeezed his hand again. "We have each other and we can get through whatever this parenthood journey throws at us, right?"
"Right" he nodded. "I love you Amy, I love you so much. Our daughter is very lucky to have you" he placed a gentle kiss to her lips, knowing as he drifted off to sleep that they were both incredibly lucky.
Thank you so much for reading. As always your reviews are always welcome and so appreciated. I love hearing your thoughts.
For now prompt request are closed. Please don't send any in as at the moment I do not have the time to take anymore on.
Stay safe
Lots of love. xx