Hi lovely readers,
Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews on the last chapter. It means so much!
I feel like I have to apologise for taking so long to post this little chapter. I've been poorly for weeks (still am really) and just can't shake it off so writing has been very sparing but I finally got there. Thank you so much for being so paitent and thank you to the guest who requested this. I really enjoyed writing it.
Enjoy reading.
Whilst the morning sun crept through the windows of their apartment, Amy sat at their breakfast bar, holding her mug of coffee close and relishing in the silence. She really did love these little moments, these tiny moments of peace that she had learnt to really appreciate over the last few months.
With five weeks left to go until her due date, simply knowing that in a few weeks time her life was about to change in a million different ways meant that she had really learnt to appreciate the now. Appreciate the silence and alone time that she had been told by Penny and Bernadette would happen once in a blue moon, appreciate the freedom and lack of responsibility and just appreciate her relationship with Sheldon. They had always been their own little team, a little team of two and very soon that team was going to become three, to become a family and Amy really had no clue what it would all entail.
Despite the unknown slightly terrifying her, she was ridiculously excited. She had loved every moment of her pregnancy and although it was something she knew she would miss she couldn't wait to embark on this whole new chapter of her life. Becoming a mother was something she had wanted for a while now, after witnessing it all happen to two of her very best friends that longing only grew. It was Sheldon who needed a little convincing and warming up to the idea which is why it surprised her more than anything in her life when he turned to her just over a year ago and told her that he thought they should start trying.
Although sometimes he tried his hardest not to show it, he had been a nervous wreck throughout Amy's pregnancy. He had questioned and researched every symptom she had experienced in her first trimester just to check it was normal. He had done exactly the same when she reached her second trimester, looking into what size the baby should be and whether her bump was too big or too small if he calculated it was either he would be thrown into panic mode. He had the timeframe highlighted on his phone calendar as to when Amy should feel the baby move and kick and he had completely taken over their refrigerator with all the foods Amy should be eating.
Although at times, she found it quite overbearing, she had to remind herself that it was all coming from a good place, he cared so much about them both and that thought alone warmed Amy's heart. Knowing him better than anyone, she knew that without a focus to drive him he would become even more on edge so she just happily let him get on with things.
"Good morning" she smiled at him as he emerged from the bedroom, smelling and looking fresh from his morning shower. She inhaled his scent and felt the comfort of it wrap its way round her. In the very early stages of her pregnancy, this very scent that she had loved for years made her feel physically sick, it was actually one of the first tell tale signs that something wasn't quite right and what drove her to contemplate taking a test.
"Hello" he smiled. "I wasn't expecting you to be up" Amy never really woke up before him, with his strict schedule he was always the first to rise.
"I had a little one keeping me awake" she smiled as she placed her hand on her stomach and gave it an affectionate rub. Lack of sleep was something she was growing accustomed too, whether it be constantly needing to get up in the night to pee, trying a million different positions in a bid to get comfortable or just having a very active baby, the last week or so had been pretty tough.
"Is she moving now?" Sheldon asked as he saddled up to her side. It still made Amy's heart skip a beat whenever anyone referred to their baby as 'she'. For that's exactly what she was, they had discovered at Amy's twenty week appointment that their little baby was in fact a little girl and although Amy was sure the news sent Sheldon into a panic, she could not have been more thrilled.
"Yeah, she never stops" the very first time Amy felt her daughter kick she had cried but watching the look of wonder on Sheldon's face, watching how his eyes lit up like she'd never seen before the very first time he felt their daughter kick was enough to make her cry all over again. Ever since that day, every time Amy announced she could feel movements or kicks, Sheldon was there, his hands on her stomach absolutely amazed by what he was feeling. Impending fatherhood was good on him, well Amy thought so anyway, he was so gentle and caring and vulnerable and all these emotions that Amy rarely saw in him.
Just like all of those other times before, his hand landed upon on the side of Amy's stomach, waiting to feel the kicks, his smile growing wide when he felt the little knocks against his palm. What they both found all the more special now was that she would respond to voices, they were both totally sure she knew who they were and would often give Amy a hard jolt under the ribs when she heard them talking for hours on end.
"There's some water boiled if you want a tea" Amy told him gently, she carefully slipped off the stool and placed her mug in the sink. It was her intention to leave for work this early but now she was awake she didn't see the point in sitting around. "I'm going to head in" she told him, as she turned to face him her eyes landed on him, his face already showing the reaction she had anticipated. "I promise just two more days" she reassured him, as she moved round the kitchen, clearing up the remains of her breakfast.
"I seem to recall you saying exactly the same thing last week" he told her, his eyes narrowing. Sheldon was desperate for Amy to begin her maternity leave, all he wanted was for her to stop, to relax and just take a breath, she was always so busy and constantly on the go. It was Amy's intention to take leave last week but when a new research opportunity was presented to her she didn't see the harm in staying on for a little longer, one week was hardly going to hurt.
"I promise" Amy placed her hands up on his shoulders, wanting him to relax until her touch. "Just two more days, okay" she pecked his lips, watching him closely as he tried to resist the urge to smile but found himself doing so anyway.
"Okay" he nodded, there was no point arguing with her, he had already made his thoughts on the matter clear and he knew just how much of a strong willed character his wife was. Two more days, he could live with that.
"We have our class at 2pm, don't be late" Amy reminded him quickly before she left, rising up on to her tiptoes to press a gentle kiss to his cheek.
"Amy" he sighed, "when am I ever late for anything?"
She was already by the door, keys in hand and bag slung over her shoulder when he replied. Turning to look at him, she smiled that smile that still melted him and blew him a kiss.
"I love you"
"Love you too" all those years ago, never did Sheldon imagine declaring such a thing so freely and yet with Amy the words just fell from him, everything was so easy with her. "And please be careful" he called after the door had already slammed shut.
—
"I'm nervous, are you nervous?" Amy leaned across and whispered to Sheldon from where they sat in a large hall with a handful of other expectant parents.
"A little" it was rare for Sheldon to admit when he felt nervous, often he would proclaim that Sheldon Cooper didn't get nervous however, Amy figured for him to admit that he was feeling a little nervous must mean he was feeling a lot nervous.
She could understand why, this was their first birthing class they were taking together. They had decided to do the crash course, spanning across two afternoons and she could only hope that by tomorrow Sheldon's nerves would have been eased just a little. This is where they would find out about what to expect when Amy went into labour, how she could be supported, how she was supposed to breathe and anything and everything in between. Tomorrow was everything that came after; how to hold your baby, swaddle them and how to dress and change them.
"I don't really know what I'm doing" Sheldon admitted, keeping his voice low just for Amy to hear. There really wasn't a lot Sheldon Cooper didn't know but how to take care of a baby was something so far removed from his comfort zone it felt almost unreachable and all he wanted to do was be the best father he could be.
Amy's heart couldn't take how suddenly vulnerable, innocent and genuinely concerned he looked so she reached across and took hold of his hand, threading her fingers through his and giving him a reassuring squeeze.
"I don't either" she hoped that helped, "but that's why we're here, isn't it? To learn, that's why everybody's here" Sheldon simply turned to look at her and smiled, he knew as long as he was doing all of this with Amy then everything would be okay.
The class began when a middle aged woman with a short grey bob and friendly face entered the room. After introducing herself she made all of the expectant parents in the room do the same something which immediately made Sheldon feel uncomfortable however, Amy seemed to be in her element and that relaxed him.
Amy was amazed as she listened to the discussion about the baby's development. She was in awe of what her body was doing and how much her baby was growing, she almost took for granted what an amazing thing this all was and it brought a tear to her eye when she watched a little video detailing how her baby would look right now.
A little after came all the talk of labour, early signs, what to expect and when to head to the hospital. At a quick glance, Amy noticed Sheldon was on his phone, she was just about to give him a nudge and a narrow pointed glare to show him she wasn't impressed when she realised that he was actually tapping out rather detailed notes. She smiled to herself and pretended not to notice, she knew how much this all meant to him and she loved it when he made a real effort with things.
"You're so good at this" Amy sighed. She was pretty relaxed right now, on her knees draped over a ball whilst Sheldon applied a firm pressure to her lower back. They had spent the last twenty minutes practising various positions that would help when having a contraction. This one was definitely her favourite.
She had been a little apprehensive as to how Sheldon would respond but he had thrown himself into it all. It was actually incredibly sweet. Normally, massages from Sheldon were incredibly rare but today felt like he was making up for all that lost time, he was thorough, yet careful and meticulous, gentle yet skilful and Amy loved the fact that now they had an excuse to keep this up at home.
"Shouldn't you be practising your breathing" he told her as he continued to press into her back with the heels of his hands.
"Sorry" she giggled. She hoped when things did happen for real, he would stay this calm and still somehow be able to make her laugh however, she did have a feeling things wouldn't quite play out like that.
This was only confirmed more by the next section of the class where they went into even more detail about what to expect during the birth. It was all a little too much for Sheldon who squeezed his eyes shut tightly when they were shown real life pictures of the pushing stage.
"I can't believe you're going to have to do that" Sheldon leaned across and whispered. He was genuinely terrified for her and almost felt guilty for impregnating Amy in the first place. Sheldon knew that when the time came he was never going to look down there anyway but after what he had just witnessed it was a firm reminder that he would remain right by Amy's head. "I'm so sorry" he felt as if he would spend his life apologising for what she was about to go through, surely there had to be another way to procreate.
If Amy was honest, this all felt a little bit too much for her. She knew it was important to be prepared and well informed, deep down she was grateful for that but she would have quite happily gone along with ignorance is bliss.
"It will be totally worth it once she's here" that's what Amy had to keep reminding herself. At the end of all of this they would have their baby girl, they would begin their life as a family. Even though they were yet to meet, Amy loved her little girl more than anything in the world and she would do everything that she could to get her here safely.
Sheldon's mind started to spin once again when they started to discuss complications and problems that could occur. From the baby's heart rate dropping, to the shoulders becoming stuck, to the mother haemorrhaging and the need for an emergency c-section. He quickly scanned the room and couldn't believe how calm everyone seemed to be, his heart was racing and his palms were sweaty, he didn't want his Amy, the absolute love of his life going through anything like that. He wanted to just wrap her up in cotton wool.
"Amy" Sheldon announced once they were back in the car, his silence throughout the latter half of the class hadn't been lost on her. She understood this was huge for him and knew it would take some time to get his head around it all but she was genuinely convinced he was slightly traumatised by it all. "I think we should get you booked in for a c-section" he stated very matter of fact.
"What?" she asked, whipping her head round quickly to face him. "You know I'm set on a water birth" he knew this, they had various conversations over the last few weeks about her birth plan. With a memory like his, she knew it wasn't something he'd forget.
"I know" he nodded, "but there's so many things that could go wrong, I don't want you going through that Amy" he turned to face her and she saw just how much this was all playing on his mind. Maybe attending a class wasn't the best idea after all.
"Sheldon, a c-section is major surgery, I want to avoid that as much as possible" she tried to be gentle with him, after all he was only trying to be helpful.
"But you're going to be in so much pain"
"I know" she nodded. "Giving birth isn't exactly a walk in the park, I'm not naive to that but we have to be positive" she told him, reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze. "We both need to go into this positive. It's an experience, isn't it? I'm excited" she smiled. She really was looking forward to going through it all, sure she was a little nervous, who wouldn't be? But she really couldn't wait.
"You're such a hippy" Sheldon laughed.
—
The clinical white walls were the first thing he saw before a swarm of medical professionals in pale blue scrubs descended on the room. It felt as if the air around him was closing in, making him feel hot and sticky, having already rolled up his sleeves he began pulling on the collar of his shirt in a bid to create something cool.
A scream from Amy, instantly brought his attention back to his wife. He had hated every second of this and already vowed that he would never let her go through this again. Something wasn't right, something just didn't feel right. Her limbs were shaking, sweat was dripping from her forehead and there was a fear in her eyes that he had never seen before and never wanted to see again. It was fair to say he had never witnessed another human being in this much pain.
"We need another big push, Amy" Sheldon heard the doctor say, he was firm and assertive and there was just something about him that Sheldon didn't like.
"I can't, please, I can't do it" hearing his wife like that broke his heart. He wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay, he knew that's what he should be telling her but he didn't really know if that was going to be the case. "Somethings wrong" she shook her head from side to side, she was in so much pain, why was nobody helping her?
Before Sheldon knew it, the people around them slipped their arms under Amy and helped her up into a semi sitting position. She was still shaking her head and claiming that something didn't feel right but they were all turning a blind eye, like they had somehow been able to tune her out.
"Another push Amy" the doctor demanded again. The squeeze of Sheldon's hand brought him back, he tried his best to hold on to her hand as he felt people trying to shove him out of the way. Giving in to their demands, Amy pushed, her face turning red as noises came from her that sounded like they belonged in a horror movie.
Amy squeezed Sheldon's hand so hard he was afraid it may break, he could feel his bones meshing together under her grip, like she was almost clinging on to him for life. Tilting her head back, she cried out, a loud, deep groan left her throat before people were making her push again. She was growing paler by the second and shaking more violently than before, Sheldon wanted to yell at them but he couldn't find his voice, he wanted to move but his feet felt glued to the floor.
Everyone's attention was suddenly drawn to the machines in the room when they started to rapidly beat. Sheldon barely had time to blink before everyone jumped into action.
"Heart rate is dropping, we need to go the emergency room" he heard someone say and before he knew it Amy was being wheeled away, he tried to run alongside her, keeping hold of her fingers but his grip was getting looser by the second as she started to slip from his grasp. He couldn't keep up and no one seemed to care that he was lagging behind.
A loud crash of double doors and a bright white light and then Amy was out of his reach. She had gone and he couldn't get to her side, he tried moving but it felt as if someone was pulling him back, like he was slipping further away from her.
"Amy, Amy" he was reaching out for her, yelling her name but to no avail.
"Amy, Amy, Amy" Amy awoke to Sheldon calling out her name and thrashing around in his sleep. She had only witnessed him having nightmares a handful of times in all of their years together. Slowly hauling herself up in bed, she turned towards her nightstand and flicked on her bedside lamp, illuminating the room.
"Sheldon" she whispered gently, placing her hand on his bare shoulder, she didn't want to startle him but she needed his distress to stop. "Sheldon" she tried again, this time it worked. His blue eyes pinged open in a panic as his chest rose and fell heavily as he tried to catch his breath. "Hey, it's okay, it's okay, you were just dreaming" Amy reassured him gently as he took in his surroundings.
"You're okay" Sheldon mumbled almost in disbelief as he reached up to his shoulder where Amy's hand was resting. He took her hand in his and squeezed it tightly, telling her he was never going to let it go. "You're both okay" his other hand reached across and landed on her stomach, he breathed a huge sigh of relief. They were okay, it was just a dream.
"We're okay. We're both okay" Amy told him gently. She never did ask Sheldon what his dream had been about but after the days events she felt as if she already knew. Instead, what she did do was cuddle close to him, rest her head on his chest and allow him to hold her tightly.
Thank you so much for reading. As always your reviews are always welcome and so appreciated. I love hearing your thoughts.
This will definitely be my last post before Christmas and quite possibly my last post of the year. I just wanted to take the time to say a huge thank you to every single one of you for your support this year. The fact that so many of you still read my work and review blows my mind. I'm so grateful and really can't express enough how much it all means.
I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and I wish you all a happy new year!
Stay safe
Lots of love