"Good work, Vespiquen," Aaron said, as Ash recalled Bayleef. "That was a tricky one, but we're not out of this yet."

Vespiquen buzzed, folding her arms, and Aaron turned his attention to the Pokémon Ash was sending out now.

He frowned, leaning forward slightly.

"An Unown? Wait, that's… okay, this could be tricky," he admitted. "Vespiquen, watch out for what attacks that Unown spells out, it's a really versatile Pokémon."

He raised his voice. "Ready?"

"Ready!" Ash called back.

"Vespiquen, Defend Order!" Aaron ordered his Vespiquen to defend, and Unown flicked through the letters H-E-X to launch a bolt of ghostly energy at its opponent.

It thumped into the shield, and Vespiquen let out an audible sigh of relief before sweeping her arm across and turning half of the shield into an Attack Order.

Then Unown trembled slightly, and turned into a weird-looking shape that Aaron hadn't seen before. Flames went everywhere, licking out to hit the Attack Order and blow it to pieces, and Ash whooped.

"All right, Unown, great work!" Ash called. "And… swap to using Rollout!"

"So…" Whitney began, looking expectantly at Mew. "That one was new."

"Yep!" Mew agreed. "It's a symbolic representation! It takes Unown a lot of work to learn individual moves in that language, because they were never part of a collective consciousness that had those letters in, but we worked specifically on Mystical Fire because it's nice and versatile!"

He shrugged. "The funny thing is that it's actually more work than teaching a Pokémon a move normally, but then again Unown has a way to do all moves anyway so it's an okay trade off."

Out on the battlefield, Unown aborted whatever he'd been in the middle of spelling out to do a Mystical Fire interrupt again.

"Hello," Gible said, putting his claws together and bowing to the Golem he was facing. "I do not have a nickname, so my name is Gible. While I know that you're a ground type, do you have tactics to battle flying Pokémon? I'm not sure what to say in these pre-battle conversation bits."

Golem blinked, then shook her head. "Not that I can see why you'd want to know that, but it's bad manners to fish for information, kid."

"Fish?" Gible replied, tilting his head. "I'm not a fish. I'm sort of like a Sharpedo in some ways, but not enough."

"Look, they're getting on well," Bertha said. "Aren't you, dear?"

"Not really," Golem shrugged. "But whatever. This is the warm-up… let's get to the battle."

"I agree with Golem!" Ash said. "We can move on to the battle – only, is your Golem a boy or a girl? I think Gible wanted to know, just out of curiosity."

"She's a bit of a scamp at times," Bertha shrugged. "But you're right, let's begin. Stone Edge!"

Golem hurled a disc of rock at Gible, who jumped into the air to dodge and kept going until he was hovering twenty feet over the battlefield.

"Whee!" he said.

Golem blinked.

"...okay, fair enough, now I know why you asked about-" she began, then shook her head. "Smack Down!"

"Thousand Arrows!" Gible replied, and shot down the Smack Down rock. The other nine hundred and ninety nine arrows mostly seemed to have gone missing, but a dozen or so still homed in to hit Golem and send her rolling backwards.

"Work with the momentum, dear," Bertha advised. "Build up with Rollout and then use Heavy Slam!"

"Watch out for that, Gible," Ash warned. "Dragon Pulse!"

Gible launched a Dragon Pulse directly upwards, which curved around to hit Golem, then began flying sideways shooting smaller Dragon Pulse attacks in a steady stream.

"Flying is great!" he proclaimed.

"Your turn, Houndoom!" Flint called, sending out his Dark-and-Fire-type. "Nasty Plot!"

Houndoom flicked his tail, thinking, then nodded to himself.

"There's this idea I had," he called. "The basic idea is, it's a murder mystery but it's second person, so it's describing the reader going through the motions of killing their target and then their trying to avoid being found out and caught, but you only know what they know."

Latios considered that.

"That is a nasty plot," he admitted. "Well done."

"Thanks," Houndoom said. "I do my best."

"Now, Dark Pulse!" Flint added.

"Dive in reverse!" Ash called.

There was a sudden sodden sploosh, and water fountained up from the ground to form a bubble around Latios. It soaked up the force of the boosted Dark Pulse, diluting it so that only a small amount of the attack actually reached Latios, and Flint tilted his head in surprise.

"That's new," he said. "How can you just reverse a move like that?"

"Well, doing it with Fly is easy, you just land," Ash shrugged. "And Dive is like the opposite of Fly, and it's a Water type move anyway."

"Sometimes I'm not sure if what you're doing is Pokémon training or sympathetic magic," Flint snorted.

"Ash is really sympathetic, so…" Pikachu flicked his tail. "Maybe?"

"Extrasensory!" Ash added. "Grab the water and use it as a counter shield!"

"Okay, your attacks are going to be reduced by the water," Flint said, then blinked. "Wait – dodge!"

Houndoom jinked out of the way just in time, as Latios demonstrated that one of the notable aspects of the counter shield was that it could be used as a weapon.

His dodge meant that Houndoom didn't get hit by the mass of water, but it was fairly close.

During Ash's battle against Lucian, Cynthia leaned over to Mew.

"So, you're the closest thing to an expert on Ash and his Pokémon," she said. "Do you have any idea where Phanpy is getting all those objects she's throwing at Lucian's Gallade?"

"Honestly, not really sure," Mew replied. "Phanpy knows Pickup, and that's doing a massive amount of the heavy lifting here… the rest is just her using Fling."

"That's the thing, though," Cynthia said. "Because, usually, Pick Up finds items very occasionally, and they're items which are… not to put too fine a point on it… already there."

"What makes you think that things are different here?" Mew said.

"I actually have something of an interest in ancient objects," Cynthia explained. "It's a family thing… and this is an arena we use for Pokémon League battles. Not an archaeology site."

She pointed. "There are at least eighty recipes out there. That's an old style of Pokéshi doll. That one is just a big lump of iron. And I think that's a linking cord… and that's before getting into the balms. There's so many that I'm starting to smell them from here."

"Hey, look!" Phanpy said. "I found a big chunk of wood!"

Her trunk puffed up, and she used Fling to launch a tree trunk four times bigger than she was at Lucian's Gallade. The Psychic-type sliced it in half with a Psycho Cut, narrowly avoiding being hit by the cut ends, and had just enough time to sigh in relief before a flute beaned him in the head.

"I'm… not sure how many Celestica Flutes there are in the world, but I hope that one's an extra one," Cynthia added.

The next thing that hit Gallade was a large slab of rock with a beautifully preserved Omastar on it.

"I should probably go and collect that one!" Mew decided. "Professor Oak will like it. He likes science things, right? And if not then either Brock or Misty could use the Pokémon!"

"Well done for making it to me, Ash," Cynthia said, some minutes later. "I warn you, though, this will be one of the most difficult battles you have ever faced."

She smiled. "But, then, I'm sure you're aware of that. And either way, I'm looking forward to the battle."

"Me too!" Ash agreed, readying his first Pokéball. "Let's go! Come on out, Chimchar!"

Cynthia replied with her Togekiss, and her Jubilee Pokémon rose into the air to float neatly on his side of the field.

"Let's begin," Cynthia said.

"Into the air, Chimchar!" Ash called, and Chimchar began to chain-jump his way up to the same level as Togekiss. "Now, Fireblast and curve it around!"

The Fire-type shot out a five-pointed star of flame that went nowhere near Togekiss, but which did curve around back towards Chimchar – a whirling storm of flame that dissolved into a thousand individual specks as it got close to him. They formed a corona of flame streams in a particularly fast-moving representation of the Counter Shield, and Chimchar jumped steadily in mid-air as he glanced down at Ash for instruction.

"Now!" Ash added, and Chimchar pointed forwards. A bolt of lightning sizzled out, and just about missed Togekiss.

Chimchar did two more lightning bolts, both of which Togekiss dodged, then frowned slightly and pointed without actually firing an attack. Togekiss didn't dodge for that one, and Chimchar frowned.

"How are you doing that?" he asked.

"I can sense kindness!" Togekiss replied. "I'm just really really good at telling other things from the shape of that kindness."

"Chimchar!" Ash called. "Go wide instead, so he can't dodge!"

"Great work, Moltres!" Ash said, some minutes later, as Cynthia recalled her Roserade. "Want to stay out?"

"I'll see what I can do," Moltres told his trainer. "You've not got many slots left."

"I know," Ash agreed. "It's up to you!"

Cynthia smiled. "It's lovely to see you trusting your Pokémon so well," she said. "Go, Spiritomb!"

There was a swirl of shadow as Spiritomb materialized, and Moltres blinked before flapping closer.

"Hello," he said. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Spiritomb's one hundred and eight voices combined into a sound very much like 'about what'.

"I have personal experience with being part of a Spiritomb," Moltres explained. "It is a very long and confusing story. I thought I'd offer my assistance for therapeutic purposes."

He flared his wings, and ghostly flame followed with them. "We can do it during battle, if you'd like."

"Shadow Ball!" Cynthia called.

Spiritomb flung a Shadow Ball, and Moltres whirled aside to avoid the attack.

"Let's start with interspiritual relationships," he said. "Are all of you happy with your combined existence?"

Another combination of one hundred and eight distinct voices came, this time forming into the shadowy words 'well, mostly, but there's issues between a parent and child who hadn't reconciled'.

"Then let's start with that," Moltres suggested. "Oh, and by the way, Scorching Sands."

"And… I'm out," Pikachu admitted, panting heavily. "Getting the idea of a lot of voltage through the skin of a Mega Garchomp is very difficult."

He twitched his ears. "Sorry, Ash."

"That's fine, Pikachu, you did great," Ash told him. "Cynthia's down to one Pokémon too, so I guess that means it's a final battle to see if I need to turn another Champion position down."

"Are you supposed to say that bit loudly like that?" Pikachu asked, then shook his head. "Okay, let's go for it."

He took the Mega Ring that Ash handed him, and Ash jumped out onto the battlefield before dropping his Illusion.

"...honestly, that explains a few things," Cynthia said. "Is that who you are all the time, or is it like Dawn and it's a temporary thing?"

"Temporary," Ash replied. "Everyone says me being an Absol makes sense, I'm not sure why, but I'm used to it by now!"

Cynthia sent out her Lucario, in response, and the Fighting-type bowed.

"It is nice to meet you," he said. "Just to check, you do have experience in battle, right?"

"I'm pretty sure he battled Steven's Metagross," Cynthia said. "You can go for it, for now, Lucario."

"Understood," Lucario nodded, and Mega Evolved. Ash did the same, and Pikachu scratched his head as he thought.

"Open with Secret Sword!" he called.

"Bone Rush!" Cynthia ordered.

"So I learned something new," Ash said, several minutes later. "Sometimes, there's a difference between sensing danger and being able to do anything about it."

He rubbed his flank with a paw. "For example, if the other Pokémon uses a blast of Aura ten feet wide, you can tell it's coming and still not actually be able to get out of the way. Ouch."

"And I'm going to make a wild guess," Pikachu said. "It didn't help that he hit you with Toxic, either."

"No, that didn't help," Ash agreed, looking up at Mew. "Thanks for the Aromatherapy once the battle was over."

"My pleasure!" Mew told her trainer. "Oh, yeah, that reminds me, I worked out a kind of present for you going to a new place, and for winning the Sinnoh league! I wanted to wait until your Cynthia battle was over to see if I should say it was a present for beating Cynthia as well, but don't feel bad you didn't."

"Bad?" Ash replied. "That was a great battle! I… kind of get why someone losing a battle would feel bad about it, but it's way easier for me to just be glad I had such a great experience against such a great trainer!"

"Great!" Mew said, then vanished.

She reappeared a second later. "Oh, right, sorry, forgot to do the preliminary bit. I don't have pockets so I can't hide something in them and dramatically pull it out… hold on a second!"

Mew vanished with another Teleport, and Cynthia came over to Ash.

"All sorted out?" she asked. "I should shake your hand, but… it's a paw at the moment."

Ash obliged her by using Illusion to take on human shape again, and she shook his hand.

"You're a really good trainer, Ash," she told him. "In being able to make great connections with Pokémon, and bring out the best in those Pokémon, and just as a general tactician. There's a few things where I think you went wrong, but… well, I won't pretend I didn't make any mistakes in that battle either."

She took a step back. "Where do you think you're planning on going next?"

"I'm not sure," Ash admitted. "Not quite… but I'll see if anywhere makes sense-"

"I'm back!" announced a Kangaskhan, materializing next to them. "I looked for a jacket, but then I remembered that this Pokémon has pockets so this was easier. Anyway, I decided that it'd be nice if you could stay in touch with all your friends more easily if you go somewhere else, so I decided to get you a phone!"

Mew-Kangaskhan reached into her pocket and pulled out a phone with an oddly spiky casing.

"It looks kind of like Arceus," Ash said, taking it.

Arceus materialized in a flash of golden light.

"What is it?" they asked, then looked closely at the Kangaskhan. "Mew, is that you?"

"Yep!" Mew confirmed, reverting to being just plain Mew. "How's it hanging?"

Arceus just looked unimpressed, then turned their attention to the phone.

Their expression changed.

"What," the Creator said, flatly. "How did you do that?"

"How did Mew do what?" Ash asked. "Make a phone that looks like you?"

"That is not a phone," Arceus declared. "They are shaped like a phone, currently, but their true self shines through. How in the name of Me did you make another Arceus without it just being another aspect of Me?"

"Congratulations!" Mew cheered. "You're a Grandpa!"

"I don't think that's the right word," Ash objected. "Grandprogenitor sounds better because Arceus isn't specifically male."

"I am many things," Arceus declared. "I am, in fact, all the things, including a grandprogenitor several million times over. But… seriously, how did you create a Me? That should be categorically impossible, and so should the headache it's giving me."

"You're a grandprogenitor, but I'm a grand programmer!" Mew answered. "Anyway, the simple answer is that they're a Shiny Arceus. Shiny Arceus are gold, for reference!"

She floated sideways, then spun back upright with her tail up like the tail of an exclamation mark. "Oh! I just had an excellent idea! What about if I name them Noah?"

Arceus made a sound like the universe complaining. "Please don't."

"Anyway," Mew went on. "This is Noah's Arc Phone form."

"I am genuinely astounded that it took this long for me to come up with the idea of disowning you," Arceus said.

"I should probably make sure I have everyone's phone numbers," Ash decided.

AN:

I'm not sorry about all this.

I will say though that Unown has just learned a letter of Pokéverse Mayan. Which is also a word.