a/n - While not explicit, this chapter contains moments of implied victim blaming/shaming and therefor is potentially triggering. Proceed with caution.

Chapter 24

For the first time in months, Mickey could breathe. The thorny vines that had been wrapped around her lungs, constricting her, were removed by the roots and new, fresh air seeped in. When she awoke her chest ached and, for a second, she worried that she was having a medical emergency. A few deep breaths later and she became calm, content, at peace. It lay on her like a thick, warm blanket, pressing into every muscle, molding to her form. She missed it.

A few blinks of her bleary eyes reminded her where she was: up on Squid's cot, in the middle of the desert; but the cloak of dread following that reminder didn't stand a chance. Not while she could breathe, not while she held Squid's hand.

She smiled a sleepy smile at the sight of him on the floor, all bedhead and legs tangled in his loose blankets. Her mind flashed back to the nights he'd sneak in through her window, looking for food, sleep, and safety. She rubbed her thumb across his knuckles. They weren't perfect—far from it—they still had things to work on, but it was a start. And starting was better than standing in place.

She slipped her hand from his and rolled out of bed. She had to face the day at some point, face B-Tent at some point. Might as well get it over with. Careful to rub the sleep out of her eyes and not rub glitter back in, she maneuvered her way to her crate and pulled on her clean set of clothes. The other set would have to go to the wash that day. She yanked on her boots and tiptoed out of the tent, careful to step over the one creaky wood slat by the entrance. She'd made it only part way to the kitchens when her ears caught on to an odd sound behind her: footsteps.

Her breath halted and the little hairs on the back of her neck rose. Her hands trembled by her side and she curled her fingers, pressing the nails into her palms. Her muscles tensed, ready…for something. To run, to fight, to freeze, she didn't know which option her body would take now, after everything. But first she turned only to let out a loud woosh of relief when she spotted Zigzag and Magnet behind her. Her heart thudded in her chest, she almost wished it would burst right out and beat them down into the ground. What were they doing up and why were they following her? Her exasperated expression and raised eyebrow prompted Magnet to fill in an answer to her silent question.

"X-Ray."

A flash of surprise flickered within her but then she recalled his stance from the night before. They fucked with one of us. We can't just let them get away with that. Not on my watch. She was one of them. They protected their own. This is what they did. Her satisfaction at the notion was bittersweet; she was in the group, but she hadn't foreseen being there so long that blending in would be an option.

With wringing hands, Mickey steadied her breathing and crossed the rest of the distance to the kitchen, her two shadows in tow. She didn't know what she'd say to Eagle, or even if she'd talk to him at all, but the anticipation swelled in her like a balloon only for it all to leak out at once when she stepped inside the kitchen and saw it empty save for a few of the older staff workers.

Her eyebrows furrowed at the sight. After all that, Eagle couldn't even show his face? Maybe Squid was right, and his nickname was contradictory to his actions. Maybe theirs should be switched, he should be Mouse to go hand-in-hand with his cowardice. She sniffed, her mouth turning down into a half frown, half grimace. She wasn't sure which emotion to land on: confusion, anger, disgust, or relief. So, she didn't feel anything, instead choosing to go straight to work. The sooner they finished, the sooner she could get to digging her hole. At least then she could pretend the dirt she stabbed into were B-Tent's faces.

But those were scarce even when they had breakfast served, which Mickey knew the rest of D-Tent found odd as much as she did. Through their sleepy gazes she spied the confusion and even some righteous indignation. She understood, it burned in her belly, but she kept her face a mask when she answered their morning grunts with brief greetings.

No sense in letting them into her head when she still wasn't even sure where her mind would settle. Did they get caught? Were they reprimanded? Were they hiding? Did they get some sort of special treatment no one else knew about? She could almost see the thought bubbles above the campers' heads as they silently inquired about the whereabouts of B-Tent. Mr. Sir's barking orders popped the bubbles and had them on their way.

Mickey grabbed her shovel from the end of the lineup and joined the mass of migrating, orange-covered bodies out onto the lake, in the middle of the D-Tent mass where she belonged.

# # #

"Water truck!"

"Water's here!"

"Come on, guys, get your water!"

Mickey stabbed the tip of her shovel into the bottom of her hole and reached for her nearby canteen to drain the rest of the water. At this point she almost had it down to a science when to take gulps from her canteen, just enough to keep her hydrated and not enough that she'd keep running off to piss like she did at the beginning. Her bladder had toughened up like she had.

"Find anything interesting?" Squid's voice followed his shadow. Mickey turned and looked up at him through a squinted eye. He reached down towards her; she eyed his hand for a second and then grasped it, allowing him to pull her up with ease.

Holding her canteen beneath her arm as she took off her gloves, she said, "Yeah, actually. I found some peach pits. At least, I think they're peach pits. Which makes me wonder how they got all the way out here."

Squid shrugged. "Mom says this place used to be a town." He turned and spat a stream of saliva out of his mouth. Mickey's lip curled but she stayed quiet. "Maybe someone used to have a peach tree."

"Maybe." She looked around as they walked to the water truck. "Too bad they're not one of the two by the Warden's cabin."

Squid snorted. "Not as if she'd let you anywhere near it if it were."

"I know, but still. If only I could get my hands on it!" She rubbed her stomach, imagining the desserts she could pump out with just a few peaches. Cobbler, crumble, dump cake, upside-down cake. It was the one time she didn't mind being in the kitchen with her mom, making desserts with the same recipes that her grandfather used to follow using peaches he grew on his own farm. "At least we'd be able to eat something healthy around here for once. It'd be a good change of pace."

"Maybe it'll come in on the supply truck," Zigzag cut in, falling into step around them. "It comes today, you know."

"What? Your sanity?" Squid asked.

If Squid's jab at him bothered Zigzag, he didn't show it. Instead he shook his head, his crazy hair sticking out in a million directions. "No. The supply truck. It comes today."

"What?" Mickey stopped walking. She held out her hands and started tapping the tips of her fingers to her thumb, counting in succession. Or attempting to, anyway. Her brain whirled, trying to count the right amount of days but the numbers all jumbled in her mind. The expanse of days stretching in front and behind her was all one, long, sandy blur. The supply truck was coming today? "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Zigzag nodded, eyes wide, head bouncing like a bobblehead. "It's been two weeks. The supply truck's coming today."

"But how do you know that?"

"Because it's coming today."

Mickey's eye twitched. "Okay, so how do you know that it's been two weeks?"

Zigzag blinked owlishly. "Because…that's how many days have passed."

"But how do you—"

"Quit while you're behind," Squid said, rolling his eyes. "Zig's got this crazy brain. It's like a computer or a camera or somethin'. Always knows everythin'. Always remembers everythin' It's weird."

"Okay, Ziggy Stardust," Mickey said, eyeing Zigzag up and down as if waiting for an antenna to pop out of his head. If there was a chance of anyone there being a spy it was him, not her. "Remind me not to make you mad."

They shifted into their positions in line, greeting Pendanski with a few grunted words and false pleasantries as they got their water and their bagged lunch. Mickey briefly nodded in Pendanski's direction when he greeted her with a smile. How could he act like nothing happened? The answer came to her a second later: because it didn't affect him and had nothing to do with him. She sniffed. Let him keep going on with his rose-colored glasses, then. He'd have to take them off eventually. She couldn't wait for that day to come.

"Are you sure today's the day of the supply truck?" Mickey asked again. Zigzag and Squid flanked her on either side as she went back to her hole after waiting for Squid to get his insulin shot. She wanted to tell them that there was no point in following her around their dig site when the other tents were many feet away, but the words died on her tongue. It didn't hurt having others to talk to without worrying about blowback. They were all on the same side now. She wasn't going to ruin that.

"Yes," Zigzag said simply.

"Eagle's gonna be there," Squid said, voicing the concern that passed through Mickey's mind.

"I know."

"Then we'll be there too." At the arched eyebrow on Mickey's face, Squid added, "X's orders."

"I don't want you guys giving up time in the Wreck Room just to stand there," Mickey said, sitting near her dirt pile.

"As long as Eagle's or the rest of B-Tent's around, we'll be too."

A muscle in her face twitched; she didn't know whether to smile at the sentiment or grimace at being followed around. Maybe it was for the best. As much as she wanted to handle them herself, if the counselors and the Warden weren't going to do anything about B-Tent's harassment, having her tent around could only help. And it was getting exhausting trying to go on like nothing happened; it was that breaking point that got her sent there in the first place. Her simultaneous desire for normalcy and retribution was a bad combination.

Still, she squinted at the fervor in his words. He avoided her gaze and took a bite of his sandwich. Turkey breast she found out after biting into hers. It was dry, of course, but at least it wasn't as dry as the bread. And it was better than the limp lettuce sandwiches they've been forced to eat for the past couple of weeks. Maybe the supply truck coming wasn't entirely a bad thing.

"I'll put you to work, then. A hair net would look good on you."

Squid scoffed. "You wish."

She did. She really did.

"Know what I wish?" They looked over at Zigzag, their eyes following the lift of his jaw over to where Caveman and Zero sat with each other, talking quietly. "Wish I had someone diggin' my hole for me like Caveman has." He took a peach slice from the fruit container and dropped it into his mouth. His adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed it whole. "Then I could get to my shows faster."

"Your shows never change, Zig," Squid pointed out.

"I don't want to miss them," he insisted.

Squid muttered a half-hearted "whatever" as Mickey hummed. It didn't bother her much that Zero and Caveman went back and forth digging Caveman's hole. In fact, it was only fair. Zero was the only one who helped dig Caveman's hole after Caveman covered for the whole sunflower seed fiasco. And, yeah, maybe initially the sight bugged her, especially knowing how long it would take for her to finish but it wasn't the end of the world. The others, however, were more vocal with their disdain.

They walked by Caveman's hole making snide comments about have a slave, where he hid his whip, if they were extra nice could they dig Caveman's hole? They were being jerks. And she called them out for it, only for X-Ray to point out that Caveman covering for them was what he was supposed to do so why was he getting rewarded for it? She let it go. It wasn't an argument she wanted to have.

"Look, it's just not fair," Zigzag said.

"The world's not fair, get used to it," Mickey said.

Squid reached out and smacked the bill of her hat downwards. "That's my line."

"I'm borrowing it," she said, readjusting her hat.

"Well, damn, you can't suddenly be the pessimistic one. I can't be optimistic."

"I'm aware. You had that surgically removed ages ago," Mickey said dryly. He extended his middle finger in her direction and she blew a raspberry at him.

Zigzag's eyes bounced back and forth between the two. "You guys are weird," he said and swallowed another peach slice whole.

Squid and Mickey exchanged a look as Zigzag poured the excess juice from his fruit cup on the ground.

They finished up their lunch in silence, save for a few comments here and there about how hot it was, how sandy it was, about a tarantula that walked by, if that mountain in the distance looked like a thumb, and about how hot it was. She discarded her trash, ignoring Pendanksi's remark about saving the environment. She kept from pointing out that he could do his part by walking water to them every day than driving Mr. Sir's exhaust trap. Something told her that wouldn't even be considered.

She didn't go back to her hole right away, instead walking right past it. Pendanski's smile never left his face when he asked where she was going, not even when she sardonically replied to the moon. She didn't think the landscape would be far off from Camp Green Lake's. Besides, she could run away, and he couldn't (and probably wouldn't) do anything about it.

Mickey slipped into an empty hole only when she was far enough away that their conversations didn't carry despite being in sight and after checking for rattlesnakes and yellow-spotted lizards. If she was going to leave, it was going to be on her own terms. She wasn't that desperate yet. She hadn't hit the Barfbag Wall.

Settling down at the bottom of the hole with her back to the sun—somehow the shade felt a couple of degrees cooler down there, so the temperature went from oppressive to unbearable—she rubbed her hands together, eyeing the dirty bandaids that somehow still held on despite her sweaty hands. A few of the bandaids had frayed on the ends and she resisted the urge to pick and pull at them. Beneath the bandage pads, the cuts throbbed and itched, every pulse striking a match deep within her.

She dug her hand into her pocket and pulled out a domed shard of glass from her broken snowglobe. She turned it around in her hands, bouncing reflected light against the side of the hole wall. Rainbow colors stretched and contracted with every twist and turn of the glass. Tracing her finger along the jagged edge of the dome, the snowglobe shifted and she caught her reflection. Red-rimmed dull eyes, pale skin, dark circles. Even miles away, months later, she was still in the same place she was after The Party.

Mickey put the glass back into her pocket. She stood, stretched, and jumped for the edge of the hole. Gritting her teeth, she pushed down while digging the tips of her boots into the side of the hole. Little by little she worked her way up and out, rolling onto her side over the lip of the hole and onto her back. Sweat ran down her temples, dirt smeared against her sweat slicked neck and she smiled up at the sun. Picking herself up, she turned her hat backwards, and went back to her hole.

# # #

"Heads up!"

Mickey drew back her arm and heaved her shovel onto the pile. For the first time she wasn't the last one to finish her hole. Zero and Caveman, unsurprisingly, were the first. The rest trickled after them. Magnet was the only one left having declared that he was going to jump on the supply truck and head to freedom. They tried to talk him out of it but he had his mind made up. He'd abandoned his hole when they reached about four feet. If he wanted to dig some more, that was on him.

She had powered through digging her hole. Something kept her going in a fluid motion, adrenaline, purpose, she wasn't sure. She didn't question it and she didn't stop for water or to chat. She dug and dug and dug until she reached the required depth and width and tossed out her shovel and pulled herself out on her own.

"You think Magnet's gonna get on that thing?" Zigzag asked by her side, lifting his chin to motion to the supply truck that was parked near the Mess Hall.

"Sure," Squid said following a snort of disbelief, "and then he'll ride off into the sunset and find a pot of gold at the end of the road."

"Those are at the end of the rainbow, Squid."

"Not the point, Zig, not the point."

Mickey would have laughed if she hadn't spotted Eagle near the back of the supply truck, saying something to a staff member as he carried a box inside. He looked as if he didn't have a care in the world. She suspected he didn't; he didn't lift a finger to help move any of the boxes or even look over the clipboard like they were supposed to to check inventory. The flame inside her flared up.

"Y'good, Mouse?" Zigzag asked. She felt his stare on the side of her face.

"I'm good, Ziggy."

At least she will be.

The glass in her pocket bounced against her side as she approached the supply truck. With every step she took the fire in her grew. Her teeth clenched and her nostrils flared and when he turned around, his blond eyebrows lifted, and his green eyes filled with confusion, but a smile grew on his face nonetheless.

"Hey. You're kind of late. The counselors already got to some of the good candy. But I managed to hide some of the Snickers. I know how you like those." He beamed and shrugged, as if he had pulled off some large feat.

Mickey would've laughed in his face if rage wasn't building inside her. She pressed her lips together, pushing a heavy breath out of her nose. Really? Really? That's all he had to say after everything that happened? After his tent came in and wrecked her stuff? How could he act like nothing had happened? How could he smile at her like that, like they were okay?

"Yeah, so…" One of Eagle's eyebrows lowered but the smile never left his face. "There's not that much we need to get off." He waved his arm, motioning to the truck. "The kitchen staff's taken care of most of it. We got a lot of onions and peaches, weirdly. Don't know what to do with that. They think we can make some sort of salad with it."

She could think of ten other things to do with them, eight of which involved shoving them in places he wouldn't want them shoved. Her fingers curled into her palms, her nails digging into the flesh. She barely felt the growing pain beneath the hurt careening inside her.

"Is…something wrong? You're kinda…tense."

"You know what you did!" she hissed.

He blinked, shook his head, and blinked again. Then he chuckled. "I don't know what you're talking about, Mickey."

"It's Mouse, and don't you fucking dare pretend like you don't know!" She took a step towards him and he took one back, holding up his hands. "You know what you did," she repeated through clenched teeth.

"Geeze, calm down. Are you on your period or something?"

"I won't be the one bleeding if you ask me that again." She grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him down towards her face. "What the fuck did I do to you? You broke into my tent and destroyed my stuff. Admit it!"

All at once the genial air left him, his face fell and his eyes hardened. "You have no proof. Besides, if anything did happen to your tent, you and the rest of D-Tent deserve it." His hot breath ghosted across her face; she didn't flinch. His collar trembled in her shaky grip. "You really want to do this? Really?" He laughed in a mocking manner. "After all the shit I've done for you?"

Out the corner of her eye Mickey spotted Squid and Zigzag approaching slowly. She held her free hand out, stopping them. "I didn't ask you to do that!"

"But you didn't turn down my help, did you? That was your whole schtick, right? Act all innocent, get people to bend over backwards for you, only to turn around when they've served their purpose?" He laughed again. "I know your type. I've heard all about you. You bat your eyes, lure people in, and then dispose someone to move onto the next. I didn't give you that candy for you to turn around and give it to your boyfriend—"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"—and I didn't have to cover your ass when you were snooping around Mr. Sir's desk," he continued, ignoring her. Mickey's lips parted and her grip loosened slightly. Just slightly. But Eagle caught it and his lips curled into a smirk. How did he…? "I saw you. And I could have turned you in. But I didn't. I covered for you. I told my tent that X-Ray's pills were fake to cause a distraction." She gasped. "But don't worry, I didn't say anything about you having to do with it." His eyes danced with delight as her chest heaved. "See, I know how not to use people. I could easily have blackmailed you to doing something for me. But what would that do? You wouldn't get it, you wouldn't have learned your lesson." He reached out and trailed the back of his hand against the side of her face. She hissed, flinching away from him. "Everything comes with a price, Mouse. In this case, it's not that expensive. It just costs about the same as, say, a snowglobe?" Hot tears lined her lids and trailed down her cheeks. "Hurts to be played, right? Oh, by the way, I have a message for you." Eagle leaned forward, his mouth brushing the shell of her ear. Goosebumps erupted on her skin when he breathed and then whispered, "Brett says 'hi'."

Blood rushed in her ears. White hot rage crashed through her. She tightened her grip on his collar. The sound of Eagle's back smashing against the wooden siding of the Mess Hall brought Mickey back to the present. She blinked and took in the blurry tear-soaked sight before her: Zigzag holding Eagle against the wall, the two shouting at each other, nose-to-nose.

"Put it down, Mickey. Put it down." Squid's voice in her ear quenched the fire in her. She stopped struggling against his grip. His arm around her waist dragged her back, away from Eagle and Zigzag. His other gripped onto her wrist, his thumb trying to force her hand open. The hand that held the glass to her snowglobe. "You can't go back from this. Okay? You can't. Trust me. I know. If you do this…you can't go back. This isn't you."

She gripped the piece of glass harder. He said that so easily. How was he to know who she was when she didn't know? Was she Mickey? Mouse? Disney, or Diz as he shortened his nickname for her to? Was she Slut or Whore or Liar like her schoolmates used to call her? And who would she be if she went through with it? If she hurt him with the broken pieces of her snowglobe? If she unleashed even a fraction of the hurt raging inside of her?

Her shaky grip loosened. Squid grabbed the piece of glass and tossed it away. It landed harmlessly in the dirt. He spun her around and yanked her against his chest, squeezing her in a hug so tight her bones creaked. "That's my girl," he murmured.

Her fingers dug into his dirty shirt and her tears darkened the fabric where she pressed her face against his collarbone. Her heavy breaths eased as the seconds passed, warm and humid, nestled comfortably against his chest. Against. His. Chest.

She jerked away from Squid—cheeks flushed, lowered gaze—and tucked her hair behind her ear. She turned to see Zigzag standing alone, rubbing a hand over his knuckles. The sound of the staff's voices inside the Mess Hall grew louder. Why they didn't come around at the first sound of trouble, or any other counselor for that matter, she didn't know. But she knew she'd be in trouble if she didn't get around to offloading the truck.

a/n - Man, when I tell you how long I've been waiting to show you all Eagle's true colors. Like Squid said, he was named Eagle for a reason. And eagles eat mice *hint hint*; their showdown was set in motion for a long time. Her ego has taken a bit of a hit, thinking she was being so sneaky and above everyone else only to find that she's now potentially indebted to Eagle and B-Tent. Dun, dun, dun... I also dropped a hint about Mickey's family and a reason for her being sent to CGL. Did you catch it? Please leave a review and let me know what you thought about this chapter! I'm so anxious to see what you all take away from this one.

Review replies

LittleBlueSweater: I can promise you after this chapter, what I have planned for B-Tent, they'll have what's coming to them. So you see my dilemma! I ship them both platonically and potentially romantically and I can't decide which one for sure I want to pull the trigger on. However, right now, they're strictly platonic. Not that it convinces anyone else at the camp. Thanks for the review!