A/N: Writing Lockhart is great fun, but it's also tricky not to go overboard with his character and go into crackfic territory. I hope I didn't overdo it since he's a fairly difficult character to nail down. Regardless, I hope you like my interpretation of him!
Chapter 24 Gilderoy Lockhart
Lily only returned to Ravenclaw tower at a quarter past eleven at night, by which time, Severus, Mandy and Anthony were all fast asleep. Harry remained overnight in the Hospital Wing under supervision of Madam Pomfrey, his stomach recovering slightly but not well enough to return to his dorm. The following morning, he was discharged though with a clean bill of health, albeit still bearing some of the stomach pains that'd afflicted him last night. After flushing his system, he seemed much better, though he still ate only in small amounts and refused to take anything too exotic that might set off his stomach again. He was given a number of potions by Madam Pomfrey, having being told to take all three of them before sitting down for each meal. He was told they'd soothe his stomach progressively over the day, and that by dinnertime, all should be normal again. He was also informed by the mediwitch that should any future stomach pains afflict him, he'd be welcome back at the Hospital wing for more potions. Harry silently wondered whether or not the trio of potions he'd been given were brewed by his friends, if they were, he held every faith that they'd work well and he'd be right as rain by dinnertime.
Madam Pomfrey was kind enough to summon one of the house elves to deliver his school bag so Harry needn't travel back to the dorm. Upon receiving his backpack, he shouldered it and prepared to leave. But before he could do so, he heard the sound of friendly, familiar voices on the other side of the main door. The sight of his friends was welcome for his sore eyes, and he set off for the Great Hall with them. They'd only arrived at the entrance to the Hall when Dumbledore appeared all of a sudden, descending a set of stairs to intercept them just before they could enter.
"Mister Potter, a word, please," said Dumbledore, causing Harry to pause in his step.
Lily and Severus ushered him on.
"We'll save some food for you, mate, we won't eat all of it," Ron joked, giving Harry a friendly nudge towards the headmaster.
Harry followed Dumbledore to a secluded part of the Entrance Hall, whereupon the elderly man fixed Harry with a curious-looking frown. "How is your stomach this morning?"
Harry hoped his smile would assuage his guardian's concerns. "Much better, sir," he replied.
Dumbledore gave a faint smile in response. "I had a word with the house elves last night, and they assured me that they'll take better care of checking the food before serving it. I'm sure such an occurrence won't happen again."
"Thank you, sir," Harry said quickly. "But I should get going now, I don't want to miss Professor McGonagall handing out my—"
"—timetable?" Dumbledore offered, his eyes twinkling. "Here you go," he said, handing it to Harry.
Harry gave the man a grateful smile and quickly pored over it. He noted he had Herbology first thing with the Hufflepuffs.
"I'll see you this evening, Harry. There's a few things I want to discuss with yourself, Severus and Lily. Meet me there after dinner at eight o'clock sharp."
"Will do, Professor," Harry said with a nod.
Dumbledore hummed in satisfaction then swept up the nearest staircase. Harry watched the man depart for a brief moment before stuffing his schedule in his pocket and entering the Great Hall. As it was on the first breakfast of term last year, the Hall was a cacophony of noise and laughter. Harry noticed a number of eyes gazing in his direction, but he pointedly ignored them and headed straight for the Gryffindor table where his friends were sat. As he entered the hall, he sensed a number of eyes on him, including Lily and Severus' over from the Ravenclaw table, and Malfoy's too from the Slytherin table. He pointedly ignored the latter and his posse's staring and returned the former's with a smile and wave. Harry lowered himself onto the Gryffindor bench next to Hermione and opposite Ron, granting him a view of Severus, Lily, Mandy and Anthony over on the Ravenclaw table. Ron looked excited as ever to see him but Hermione wore a slightly pensive expression. From further down the table, Harry discreetly spotted Ginny stealing glances at him but when he searched out her gaze she blushed and his her face behind a fellow first-year's shoulder.
"What did the headmaster want to speak to you about?" Hermione inquired, as Harry started helping himself to some food.
"Nothing much," Harry said nonchalantly. "Just asking if I was feeling better, that sort of thing."
"We've got Herbology first thing with Sprout," said Ron, indicating his timetable. "So, for your sake mate, I do hope you're feeling better."
"Yeah, I'm feeling alright now, thanks," said Harry.
"Glad to hear it," Ron replied, before stuffing his mouth with some eggs. He chewed his bite awfully quickly, then swallowed.
"Did Madam Pomfrey give you anything for your stomach?" Hermione asked curiously, darting her gaze lower at Harry's abdomen for a brief moment.
"I'd rather not talk about it to be honest, Hermione," Harry said tersely. "But yes, she did give me something that I hope will help out some."
Hermione hummed in satisfaction and resumed eating her toast and eggs. Harry then helped himself to a goblet of pumpkin juice and a bowl of cereal and milk. He didn't feel like anything too heavy just yet, and he worried that too heavy a meal might upset the potion he was prescribed by Madam Pomfrey. As Harry ate his meal, he spotted a familiar face at the Ravenclaw table peering earnestly at him, almost as if they were trying to gain his attention. It was Lily, and from the looks of things, she was still a little concerned about him. She tried mouthing a few words to him from across the hall, but Harry was unable to read her mouthing and shrugged his shoulders. Sighing, Lily got to her feet and calmly made her way around her table to his. Harry's gaze briefly found Severus', who like he, also watched Lily stand to her feet. She swiftly walked around towards the Gryffindor table and in no time flat had plopped herself down on the bench next to him.
"You doing alright, Harry?" Lily asked, fixing Harry with a scrutinizing gaze. "What'd Professor Dumbledore want to talk to you about?"
"Yes, I'm feeling fine; and he just asked me to come by his office at—"
"—eight o'clock after dinner," Lily finished. "Yeah, he said as much to me 'n Sev just now as well."
"The headmaster wants to see you three?" Hermione asked. She leaned forward a little bit in apparent curiosity. "What about?"
Harry and Lily shrugged simultaneously. "Honestly, I don't know, but probably to discuss what happened, I guess. It's rare for the house-elves to muck up the food, so probably to discuss that, I think," Harry replied.
Hermione pursed her lips together in thought but nodded soon after, arriving at the same conclusion as Harry and Lily did.
"Anyways…I should get going now," Lily muttered. "Sev, Mandy, Anthony and I have got Transfiguration with the Slytherins first thing."
"You should. Being late to McGonagall's class is as good as a death sentence," Ron joked, earning a quiet chortle from Lily.
Lily pushed away from the table and stood to leave, but before she could Hermione's voice called out to her.
"We'll see you, Severus, Mandy and Anthony at lunch, right?" asked Hermione, her brown eyes eager. "Gryffindor and Ravenclaw have got Defense with Professor Lockhart afterwards." There was no disguising the excitement she felt over having class with Lockhart on the first day of term.
"Sure thing," Lily replied with a smile before taking her leave back to the Ravenclaw bench.
Harry made short work of his cereal and pumpkin juice after that, and in a few minutes he was on the way out of the Hall with Ron, Hermione and a few of his housemates. As they exited the Great Hall, and prepared to step out of the castle into the early-morning sun for their Herbology class, a nasally voice met their ears that all but boiled their blood.
"Morning Potter," came the usual drawl of Malfoy.
Harry, Hermione and Ron all turned around to face the Slytherin, who was flanked by Crabbe and Goyle. "What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry asked wearily, already tired of the blonde boy's presence.
"Oh, nothing, nothing much, just wanted to ask if you're alright or not," Malfoy said with fake concern. The mock-pity on the Slytherin's sharp features made Harry clench his fists at his sides, but he wisely didn't go for his wand. "You gave us quite the scare last night, didn't you, clutching at your stomach and moaning as if you were dy—"
"—That's rich, coming from a coward like you," Harry said nastily, his lip curled back in a sneer. "You're nothing but a posturing ponce Malfoy, now shove off."
Malfoy stuffed his hand into his robe pocket, and Harry did the same. Before either boy could draw their wand, the voice of Gilderoy Lockhart pierced the air, effectively stifling the escalating tension.
"Boys—boys—boys, we can't have dueling in the halls, now can we?" Lockhart said pompously wearing his million-galleon smile.
"We weren't doing anything, Professor," Malfoy said coolly, jerkily sliding his wand back into his robe pocket.
"I wasn't saying you were," said Lockhart. "What I was saying, is that we can't have dueling in the halls, isn't that right boys?"
"Yes sir," Harry and Malfoy reluctantly muttered.
"Good," Lockhart said with a broad smile. "I wasn't forward to taking away my first points of the year, after all, and I'm glad I haven't had to yet. Oh, and Harry, I'd like a word with you as well."
"Sir?" Harry asked. "I have class with Professor Sprout in a—"
"Oh, never mind that," Lockhart said flippantly. He gave a dismissive wave of his hand as if Harry's concerns amounted to nothing. "Come with me, I want to a talk with you, and then you can carry on to Pomona's class afterwards. Follow along."
Harry shared a helpless look with Ron and Hermione, the former of whom looked just as exasperated as Harry felt, and the latter positively teeming with excitement at the prospect of having a one-on-one discussion with such an accomplished and capable wizard. What Hermione didn't know was that Harry would gladly exchange their positions and bestow the great 'honor' of having a chat with Lockhart on her.
"Erm—okay, professor…but I really must hurry, so can we—"
"—I'll be quick," Lockhart assured, smiling a toothy grin. "I've got class first thing as well, after all."
Lockhart turned his gaze to Hermione and Ron, who were stood a little behind Harry, one eager, the other apprehensive.
"Run along you two, you'll be united with Mister Potter soon enough."
Hermione bobbed her head up and down and made to leave, Ron took a little longer but eventually followed Hermione out of the Entrance Hall. Harry followed Lockhart over to a secluded part of the Entrance Hall whereupon the man gave Harry a knowing smile, though Harry didn't know what that smile was for.
"Nerves, last night, wasn't it?" Lockhart said knowingly, rubbing his stomach in sympathy.
"Sir?" Harry was perplexed and he made no effort to hide it.
"I can't say I blame you for feeling nervous," Lockhart continued to ramble. "You're the Boy-Who-Lived after all…all those expectations of greatness and—"
"—Sir, I'm afraid I don't follow," Harry said neutrally. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, it's nothing be ashamed of dear boy, don't you worry about that." Lockhart reached up to tip his overly-jaunty, turquoise hat back into place. "Everyone feels a little queasy from time to time, and I can't say I blame you for feeling intimidated in my presence, Harry—after all, to be in the presence of a great wizard, being an up-and-coming great wizard, yourself can be quite daunting, yes?" His pearly-white smile appeared once more. "I am a great and powerful wizard, after all; so, to be flummoxed in my presence is to be expected."
Yes, Harry privately agreed, it could be quite daunting to be in the presence of a great wizard such as Dumbledore. "Oh, err—yes, sir. I perfectly understand what you mean," Harry lied.
Lockhart's smile continued to broaden. "You're only twelve, Harry, Merlin knows you're a far more capable wizard than I was when I was twelve…but there's no need to be ashamed or nervous of being in my presence, do you understand that?"
"I…guess I do," said Harry, sounding more and more eager to escape the conversation.
"Good," Lockhart said with a satisfied grin. "Now for our first class, I'll have a quiz for you and your cohort, so I suggest you get to work reading up on my collection of books if you haven't already."
"Absolutely sir, that'll be no problem at all," Harry replied.
Lockhart then stood to his full height and gave Harry a pat on the back. "You'd better run along now, don't want to keep Professor Sprout waiting any longer, do you?"
Now that Harry was being dismissed, he had the first genuine reason to smile since his encounter with Lockhart began. He shouldered his bag and quickly made his way out of the Entrance Hall and into the early-morning sun. Once out on the grounds, Harry broke out into a brisk jog, hugging the walls of the castle to stay out of the harsh, late-summer sun. Arriving at the greenhouses, he was just in time to see Professor Sprout usher in his classmates. Hermione somehow noticed his presence and waved for him to hurry up, which he did. Harry arrived just in time before the door to the greenhouse shut, and as he stepped inside he noticed that Professor Sprout for some reason was in a foul mood.
"Almost late, Mister Potter," said Sprout as Harry snuck in just as the door shut.
"My apologies Professor," Harry replied. "Professor Lockhart asked to have a word with me after breakfast and I made my way here as quickly as I could after he'd finished."
"Did he now?" Sprout asked, with more than a little sarcasm in her voice.
Confused, Harry nodded. Sprout then gestured for Harry to find a free place to stand. Arrayed in the middle of the greenhouse was a trestle bench atop which about twenty plants along with the same number of earmuffs. Sprout explained that they'd be re-potting Mandrakes today, hence the need for earmuffs. When she asked what Mandrakes were, Hermione promptly answered her correctly and earned ten points for Gryffindor. When asked why they were dangerous, Hermione again answered correctly that the cry of a fully-matured mandrake is lethal to anyone who hears it. After ensuring that everyone's earmuffs were on correctly, Professor Sprout went on to demonstrate by lifting one of the ugly plants from the pot, whose shrill cry was piercing even without the earmuffs on. Needless to say, all the students put their earmuffs on in time for not one collapsed to the ground thanks to the ugly plant's shrill cries.
She then split the Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors into groups of four, with Hermione, Harry and Ron being joined by a Hufflepuff named Justin Finch-Fletchley. Justin was quite the avid fan of Professor Lockhart, something Ron and Harry didn't appreciate all that much but Hermione certainly did. In the last few moments before they put on their earmuffs, Hermione and Justin gushed over the many exploits their new DADA Professor had been on. For some reason Professor Sprout didn't look all that fond of Hermione and Justin's conversation and curtly told them to put on their earmuffs and begin their task. Harry's quartet worked without speaking, their earmuffs effectively blocking out the noise of the baby mandrakes' cries as well as their words. Thanks to the lack of chatter, they were able to work through their Mandrakes swiftly and were among the first groups to finish re-potting them. Neville, Ernie MacMillan, Hannah Abbott and Lavender Brown had only just beaten them out.
Once all the groups were finished re-potting the baby mandrakes, Professor Sprout instructed them all to remove their earmuffs.
"Well done to Mister Longbottom's group for a fine job re-potting those Mandrakes!" she congratulated in a far happier tone than at the start of the lesson. "For your efforts, five points apiece shall be given, so ten to Hufflepuff and ten to Gryffindor."
Neville's pudgy cheeks flushed a dull shade of red and he dipped his head with a murmured; "thank you, professor."
Ernie clapped him on the back whilst Hannah and Lavender high-fived one another for a job well done. As the winning quartet exchanged congratulations, Harry couldn't help but wonder why Neville was so darn good at herbology, but pants, quite frankly, at just about everything else he did.
While Harry, Hermione and Ron toiled away in the sweltering heat of the greenhouses, Lily, Severus, Mandy and Anthony were higher up in the castle in Professor McGonagall's Transfiguration classroom. Lily and Severus were paired up as was their custom, and McGonagall had set them to work on transfiguring beetles into buttons. Severus, Mandy and Anthony were managing the spell just fine, with Anthony succeeding first, followed quickly by Mandy and then Severus. Lily on the other hand, was struggling, and her temper was beginning to flare. One of the reasons for her struggles was sat just a desk behind them.
"Lily," Severus beseeched, "you have to calm down, just ignore—"
"How can I ignore him," Lily whispered waspishly, her green eyes narrowed into slits.
A row behind them, Malfoy was whispering none-too-quietly to Goyle about Harry's illness at last night's opening feast.
Oh it was so pitiful, I almost felt bad for ole' scar-head, you know…
I mean…he's such a baby, isn't he? Potter's absolutely pathetic…
Twisting about and moaning in his seat as if he were dying, such a pansy, that—
Malfoy was so engrossed in talking to Goyle about all the things Harry was that he'd failed to notice Lily turn around in her seat to fix him with a stiff glare. "Malfoy," Lily said frostily, "if I hear one more word out of you, I'll—"
"—Lily, cool it! He's not worth it," Severus urged in a low whisper.
Lily shot Malfoy one last sneer before allowing Severus to turn her away to face the front of the class.
"You'll do what, mudblood?" Malfoy challenged, speaking half an octave above a whisper. "You'll do nothing is what you'll do. Because you're dirt, and because you're too much of a goody-two-shoes Ravenclaw to even think about hexing me in—Yow!"
Lily's mouth was curled in a vindictive sneer, her eyes alight with delirious ecstasy. "That's what you deserve, you arsehole! The next time I—"
"—Miss Bergman!" Professor McGonagall shouted. "There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that excuses hexing other students in class. Explain yourself!"
"He was insulting Harry!" Lily shouted back at the Professor, before paling and cowing, realizing that she'd just raised her tone at the imperious head of Gryffindor House. "He—he was saying just the worst things—Malfoy was being terrible, Professor!"
McGonagall leveled Lily with an unimpressed stare. "Regardless of what Mister Malfoy may or may not have said about yourself and Mister Potter, it does not excuse you hexing him just because he's angered you," McGonagall said coolly, her tone betraying her disappointment. "You should've come to me, and told me if he'd insulted you or anyone else in this class, and I would have dealt with the matter at hand."
Lily's green eyes bulged in shock, and she opened her lips to argue her Professor's words until Severus nudged her in the ribs with his elbow. "Yes Professor," Lily said evenly, trying to keep a lid on her anger and frustration.
"For hexing another student in class, that'll be two weekends' worth of detention, and a deduction of twenty house points."
Her eyes quite nearly bulged out of their sockets. "Twenty?!" Lily asked incredulously.
"Should I make it thirty? Or perhaps forty instead?"
Lily quickly shook her head and ducked her gaze back down to her desk. "N-no, Professor, please, j-just twenty—"
"—then twenty shall suffice," McGonagall said crisply. The Professor's stern gaze briefly passed over Severus before she walked past Lily and Severus' desk to Malfoy's desk behind them.
Malfoy was sniffling at his desk, clutching his hand which was covered in large boils. Obviously, he wasn't that hurt, but Malfoy was doing an incredible job of playing up his pain and discomfort for additional sympathy.
McGonagall drew her wand and waved it over Malfoy's palm, vanishing away the boils and returning his skin to its usually pale complexion. "P-professor, should I go see Madam Pomfrey? Bergman's clearly unhinged and might have done more than—"
"—Your hand is as good as new, Mister Malfoy," McGonagall said stiffly, Malfoy wilting under her stern gaze. "Now, return to your work."
"Ten points shall be taken from Slytherin house for your actions, Mister Malfoy, and detention with me for the next two weekends alongside Miss Bergman as well."
"What?"
"That can easily be doubled to twenty points Mister Malfoy, watch your tone," McGonagall said angrily, causing the Slytherin to cow into his seat.
Under McGonagall's scorching gaze, Malfoy nodded mutedly, which was seemingly enough for the Transfiguration Professor. "Both of you see me after class."
Lily and Malfoy nodded reluctantly, satisfying McGonagall, who then strode back to her desk at the front of the class.
The rest of the class carried on in absolute silence, though Malfoy continued to glare hatefully at Lily's back as the latter tried and failed to maintain her focus on her work. Severus had to work overtime to keep Lily from hexing him again, and to keep up his progress on his own Transfiguration exploits. After their meeting with Professor McGonagall at the end of class, Lily's temper had cooled somewhat and she consented to remaining behind with Severus whilst Malfoy stormed out with his cronies following in his wake. Lily was quite pleased to see the arrogant, blonde ponce go, though judging by her stiff glare and set jaw, she hadn't quite sealed off her anger from earlier in the lesson yet. At Severus' urging, she managed to calm down a little bit more and the two went off to their next class. Thankfully for Severus, Lily's temperament in History of Magic was much better than it had been in Transfiguration. Mainly because they were sat amongst a gaggle of friendly Hufflepuffs and that class was so boring, her anger quickly fizzled out to boredom. Professor Binns' lectures on Goblin Rebellions had Lily, Severus and Anthony almost asleep within half an hour, all the while Mandy continued scribbling notes furiously into the margins of her book.
When lunch rolled around, the quartet of Ravenclaws left History of Magic for the Great Hall, hoping a lunch with Harry and his friends would raise their spirits.
Harry waved them over from the Gryffindor table, looking loads more positive than he had been in the morning. The quartet of Ravenclaws made their way over to Harry and his friends, relieved to see him in better spirits and piling his plate high with food. Severus, Lily and Mandy slid into the bench sat opposite Harry, while Anthony sat between him and Ron.
"Looks like you three had a happy morning," Severus said dryly, his dark eyes drifting over Harry, Ron, then Hermione in turn.
"Oh yes, we certainly did," said Hermione, sounding pleased. "Transfiguration went well, ooh—and Harry was doing excellently with re-potting the Mandrakes as—"
"—The what now?" Lily asked, her nose scrunched up in confusion.
"Mandrakes, or Mandragora, are a powerful restorative plant used by Healers and other licensed professionals to restore people to—"
"—Basically, if you've been altered in any magical way, a Mandrake draught is what you need to set you right," said Mandy, finishing off Hermione's explanation succinctly.
"Yes, what Mandy said," Hermione muttered.
"Err—okay. Well, Sev, Mandy, Anthony and myself don't have Herbology until Wednesday, so I guess you three will be a bit ahead of us there," said Lily, who'd begun heaping some grilled fish and potatoes onto her plate.
"You mean you haven't read ahead?" Hermione asked, scandalized at the thought. "Clearly, Mandy has, since she knows about—"
"—Honestly Hermione, Herbology's just boring to me," said Lily dryly. "I couldn't be arsed to read ahead, I only do that in subjects that I like."
"So, you must've read Lockhart's books then, haven't you?" Mandy said eagerly.
Lily grinned but shook her head. "Only Potions 'n Charms I'm afraid," she said, then lifting her fish-laden fork to her lips.
The rest of their lunch break was spent speculating over what Lockhart's first class of the year would be like, Mandy, Lily, Hermione and Anthony seemed to hold a more positive view of the man, with Severus, Harry and Ron very much belonging to the opposite camp. Up at the high table, Lockhart's beaming smile was shining out across the Hall as he picked away at his steak and potatoes. But the fourth year Ravenclaws and Gryffindors, whom were Lockhart's first class of the day—and of his teaching career, didn't look all that pleased with him. Fred and George further down the table seemed relatively nonplussed but most of their classmates didn't share that same sentiment. As the meal wound on, talk quickly shifted from Lockhart to other subjects of their fancy, namely, the upcoming Quidditch season. The girls weren't all that interested in discussing it, but Harry, Severus, Ron and Anthony sure were. Anthony once again iterated his intent to try out for the Ravenclaw team, specifically for the seeker position. Brian O'Shaughnessy graduated last year and with him went the starting seeker position on the Ravenclaw team, which Anthony had every intention of claiming.
Once they'd finished their meal, the group shouldered their bags and set off for DADA with Professor Lockhart together. They exited the Great Hall into the Courtyard with the intention of killing some time until their next class. As the group settled down, Severus sensed an unfamiliar gaze on their backs and quickly whirled around to see who it was. The strange gaze, as it would turn out, belonged to a short, brown-haired boy holding a camera. Severus recognized the boy from last night's sorting who was easily identifiable as the most wide-eyed and awestruck of the lot of them. Severus tapped Harry on the shoulder who turned around too, and that caused the boy to blush a scarlet shade of red.
"Can I help you?" Harry asked patiently.
At that, the rest of the group turned around to face the boy, some bearing faces of recognition, others of confusion.
"All right, Harry? I'm—I'm Colin Creevey," he said breathlessly, his adoration clear. "I'm in Gryffindor, too…would it be alright if—if I took a picture of you?" He raised the camera hopefully.
"A picture?" Harry echoed.
Colin nodded.
"So, I can prove I met you," Colin said eagerly, coming a few steps closer. "I know all about you. Everyone's told me. About how you survived when You-Know-Who tried to kill you and how he disappeared and everything and how you've still got a lightning scar on your forehead." His eyes raked over Harry's hairline. "And a boy in my dormitory said if I develop the film in the right potion, the pictures will move."
"So, you want to take a photo with Harry?" Anthony asked, cocking his head sideways in curiosity.
Again, Colin Creevey gave a breathless nod. "Can you—would one of you be willing to take it?"
Lily and Severus squinted at the strange camera Colin had. In their time in the early seventies, such cameras hadn't been built since this was far smaller than anything they had growing up. Frankly, neither of them was sure of how to operate the thing, but Hermione was up for the task.
"Sure, I guess," said Harry, who then made his way to Colin.
"Can you—would you be willing to sign it afterwards?" Colin asked hopefully.
"Signed photos? You're giving out signed photos, Potter?"
Loud and scathing, Draco Malfoy's voice echoed out across the courtyard. Malfoy, and his two cronies Crabbe and Goyle sauntered up to Colin, all three of them wearing smug grins.
"Everyone line up! Potter's giving out signed photographs!" Malfoy roared to the crowd.
"No, I'm not, he's lying!" Harry shouted back.
"What's all this? What's all this?" Lockhart was striding towards them, his turquoise robes swirling behind him. "Who's giving out signed photos?"
Harry was about to speak but was cut short when Lockhart flung an arm around his shoulders and thundered; "I needn't have even ask! We meet again, Harry!"
Harry glimpsed Malfoy slinking back into the crowd having deemed there to be an adequate amount of chaos sowed. Harry's face burned red with humiliation as Lockhart beckoned Colin over to take their photo. Lily tried to get a word in to ask Lockhart to stop but the Professor was clearly too absorbed with the situation to hear her, directing Colin to snap several photos of himself and Harry together. Having taken their photo, Lockhart then promised the first year that he and Harry would sign it for him, a promise that the two followed through on albeit with considerable reluctance on Harry's part.
"Thank you, thank you both so much," said Colin eagerly, clutching the static photo to his chest as if his very life depended on it.
"We're only too happy to oblige, Mister Creevey," Lockhart beamed. "Now run along, I believe you have class now, yes? Wouldn't want to be late for that on your first day of school!"
Colin nodded eagerly and slung his camera around his neck. He then shouldered his bag and offered a wave to Harry and the rest of his friends before making his way out of the Courtyard.
With Colin gone, Lockhart turned to Harry, Severus, Lily and the rest of their group. "Ah, I see that you lot will be my next class," he said, smiling broadly. Mandy, Hermione and Anthony eagerly returned the smile; Severus, Lily and Ron not so much.
"What will we be learning about today sir?" asked Hermione eagerly.
"Come now Miss…"
"Granger, sir."
"Well, that'll be a surprise for you all," Lockhart said smilingly. "A surprise you shall learn of in a few minutes time, now come with me."
Harry, Severus, Lily and their friends followed the Professor with varying degrees of enthusiasm to their next class.
While some had high hopes going into the class, and others not so much, those with high hopes had them shattered by the end of the class. Lockhart began proceedings with a half-hour pop-quiz in which he tasked his students with answering 54 questions, all of which were about Lockhart himself. Hermione predictably answered them all correctly, but the rest of the class struggled to answer even some of the more basic questions, like 'what is Professor Lockhart's favorite color,' for instance. While the start of the class was boring enough with their pop-quiz taking up the longest half-hour of their lives, the next segment of the class was far worse than boring, it went horribly. Lockhart released an owl cage's worth of Cornish Pixies into the class and without any instruction whatsoever, told the students to round them up and put them back in their cage.
"This is ridiculous," Severus muttered, jabbing his wand every which way through the air to stun the devilish, blue blighters.
"Unbelievable," Harry agreed, trying to snatch at one pixy with an outstretched palm.
When the bell rang, the class all sprinted for the exit, their bags, books and other belongings all askew in their haste to leave the Cornish pixy-infested classroom. To Harry's surprise, Lockhart was right on his classmates' heels.
"I'll just ask the lot of you to nip them back into their cage. Thank you!" With that, Lockhart sprinted out the door after his students in a swirl of turquoise robes.
"Can you believe this guy?" Ron asked, shaking his head in disappointment.
"He just wants us to get hands-on experience, that's all, have you not read his books yet?" Hermione retorted, before stunning two pixies with a single spell.
"There's letting us have hands-on experience, and there's also leaving us behind to clean up messes which he caused," Lily countered. The redhead swiftly ducked a diving Pixy and stunned it as it whizzed past.
"He's unbelievable is what he is, leaving us to deal with this," Severus muttered angrily. He jabbed his wand harshly into the air, hitting a solo pixy with a little more force than was strictly necessary to stun it.
Lily, Harry and Ron all nodded in agreement with the dark-haired boy's words, though Hermione, Mandy and Anthony clearly still thought the opposite.
"He should be in here with us," Lily muttered, sounding every bit as grouchy as Severus. He stifled a grin of pride at the copious helping of scorn in her voice. "Can't believe he just abandoned us," she continued to mutter.
"First-hand experience is the most valuable you can get," said Hermione, now sounding more combative than before.
Lily shot Hermione a scathing glare, conveying all too clearly her subscription or lack thereof to her philosophy, actually, Lockhart's supposed philosophy.
They only managed to stun and put away the pixies after twenty more minutes of hard work. By then, even Lockhart's staunchest defenders in Hermione and Mandy were more than a little displeased at having to clean up their flighty Professor's mess.
Later that day, when Harry, Lily and Severus stepped into the headmaster's office for their meeting, they iterated their concerns to their guardian. Said concerns were promptly waved off by the Headmaster who, like Hermione earlier, said that first-hand experience was the best learning one could get. Further railroads of conversation regarding Professor Lockhart's teaching were promptly shut down by Albus who steered them towards other topics he wished to address. He firstly asked Severus and Lily if they wished to continue brewing for the hospital wing, with both of them responding excitedly in the affirmative. Albus then tasked Fawkes with delivering a promptly-written letter to Professor Snape that he'd have all three of his brewing disciples available for this year. Next on his agenda was Lily's confrontation with Malfoy in Transfiguration class which earned them both detention and a points loss to kick off the year. Lily tried her best to appear apologetic, but Albus could see right through it and warned her that hexing in the classroom, regardless of what Malfoy may or may not have said, was inexcusable. Lily muttered that McGonagall told her as much, and that she'd been given detention over the next two weekends, something Albus was well aware of for he'd been informed by his deputy a few hours earlier.
With their meeting concluded, the trio set off for their respective towers and bade one another goodnight.
A/N2: I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Lockhart was a joy to write, and writing his interactions with Harry are perhaps the most fun I've had writing in a while.