Chapter 1: I Think I'm In Heaven
(Peter)
It was a typical Saturday night for me. I sat in the darkness of my room staring at my computer and trying to ignore how hot it was. I had just finished posting my last chapter review of an abysmal self-insert crossover with Naruto, Harry Potter and of course Percy Jackson to my sporking blog.
Thank god.
Fics like "Gregoria Smyth and The Magical Hogwarts Café" were nothing I would choose to read in my free time. I mean the fic didn't even have a proper summary it just said:
It's too hard to explain, but I promise it's good. Just read and review! OCXSasukeXNico, PercyXSakura, HarryXAnnabeth[1]
Hard to explain is right. I read it and I'm still not sure what the hell it was about. And Good? Good! Fuck. I question anyone who would define this shitty story as readable, let alone good.
But this was the type of "content" that I had to read for my blog sometimes. As long as it didn't include HoO and was less than 40 chapters, I was bound to do what came my way on "Suggest a Spork Saturdays". Even if those requests sometimes led me to some dark places. (I'm talking un-ironic tentacles, incest, domestic abuse, and that's just the Japanese shit.)
Thankfully with my review done, I was able to read something good now if I could find it. I skimmed the selection. There were no new chapters from the authors I followed. And the PJO page was just filled with the usual (Luke death fics, son of Artemis stuff, Percy romances the goddess of the week, amateur one-shots, and a bunch of high school, college, and café AUs), but nothing caught my eye as terribly good or bad.
After a while, I said fuck it. It was late, like 3 am. So, I decided to call it a night.
Or at least I tried to. An hour later I was still awake thinking about that horrible crossover. Normally writing a review was enough to get a bad fic out if my system, but it had been the 5th mediocre fic I had read this week. And the last four hadn't been on purpose. Frankly, I was getting tired of it.
The fic had just been so bad. Even without watching Naruto, I felt like I knew more about the show than the author did. Same went for Harry Potter. I wasn't a fan of Harry Potter. I mean I really wasn't a fan, but I had read the first book and I knew Harry didn't say things like: totally dude. He was British, for fuck's sake.
And then there was the way the author had portrayed Annabeth and Percy. I squeezed my eyes shut. Why could no one get Percy's voice correct? Not even Rick could seem to get it right these days.[2]
That was the thought that got me out of bed and into the bathtub. I loved baths and water in general and that night I needed a good soak.
I knew I was overreacting. I was sure my blog would get lots of hits for this latest review. It had been doing well in general. This summer it was finally starting to get some real attention in the fandom. I should be happy that people were taking my opinion seriously and that I was able to direct my fans away from garbage and towards the quality fics. It felt good but it wasn't enough.
I just felt like something was missing. This was nothing new. Ever since I finished the Last Olympian, I'd had this empty feeling inside. Nothing, not fanfics or any other book I tried to read measured up to PJO. I seriously doubted anything ever would.
I sighed and sunk deeper into the water so that it was even with my bottom lip. I wished for like the thousandth time that I could reread the series for the first time.
And that's when things got weird. I guess I must have closed my eyes because the next thing I knew I was freezing and choking on salt water. I jerked up and hacked up the stuff with a mighty cough and then I landed back down on something soft that smelled like honeysuckle.
My eyes flew open and I found myself staring up at an angel. Blonde hair and the best rack I'd ever seen in real life this close up, it was a struggle to focus on her blue eyes which shone with concern. I tried to explain myself. Not that I had a good explanation. In the back of my mind, I was wondering if I had just drowned in my bathtub and gone to heaven.
The girl eased me into a sitting position. I told her my name and then she had said the magic words, "Son of Poseidon"
Suddenly, I was perfectly lucid. "What did you just say?"
The girl (what had she said her name was, Annie?) blushed and repeated, "You're the son of Poseidon, right? The guy who almost died defeating a minotaur and was immortalized in this moat made by Poseidon himself."
I just stared at her. As pretty as she was, she was making no goddamn sense.
"Is there something wrong with his memory," the girl asked turning to look up at someone. I followed her gaze and found myself looking at a centaur. I blinked and blinked again, but the man horse was still there.
"He does look disorientated. Grover, Nico, help Peter up we have much to discuss," the centaur said staring at me intently.
I just gaped at him. He was half-horse, what else was I supposed to do? Then a satyr and a gaunt looking boy helped me up. I stared at each of them. Hadn't the horse called them, Grover and Nico?
Oh shit!
I almost fell back down. This couldn't be happening. Me, Peter Johnson, was being led to Camp Half-Blood. I think I was crying.
Nico snorted.[3]
Grover just patted my arm. "There now Peter, it'll be okay. Wait till we get some nectar in you."
I nodded, unable to speak. Grover, the Grover, had just spoken to me. As we entered the Big House, I realized that I was right. I was in heaven.
Footnotes
[1] I looked it up. For better or worse "Gregoria Smyth and the Magical Hogwarts Café" doesn't exist. The closest match was on AO3 and is called "Christmas Calendar: JIKOOK" which to me seems totally unrelated.
[2] Considering when this fic takes place (early 2010s) and what I know about Peter, I assume he's talking about Son of Neptune.
[3] We will talk more about Nico next chapter.