Chapter 3: I Think I'm In Hell
(Peter)
When I woke up, a part of me actually hoped that I would be back in my bathroom. At least there, things made sense. But then I saw the sky-blue eyes of wait for it…Andromeda Sunshine.[1]
Gag.
And I knew I wasn't so lucky.
This time, Andromeda looked more annoyed than concerned, "Why did you faint like that?" she asked, "I just told you my name."
I nodded and sat up.
Andromeda was watching me cautiously like I might explode. I looked around. A few kids were milling about but no one stopped to investigate the new camper who had just fainted. Fainted! I have literally never fainted in my fucking life, but I wasn't even sorry.
"Grover went to go get the smelling salts," Andromeda said.
I glanced at her.
She was wrinkling her nose. It was a cute nose, but the mere fact I noticed the cuteness of her nose was a problem. Her presence was a problem. It meant that I wasn't in the world of Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I was in a fanfic and judging from what I just heard, I was in a bad one. I mean "Fucking Sunshine? Are you serious?"
"Excuse me!" she said, affronted. "Language!"[2]
Fuck. Had I just said that out loud?
"And I am serious," she added. "I don't like smelling salts either, but they do work."
"No," I said, studying her now. The blonde hair and that perfect face and body. No wonder. She wasn't some hot angel. This girl was a Mary Sue if ever I saw one. I felt myself shiver.
"Are you cold?" she asked, "Do you need me to hug you for warmth?"
Yup. Definitely a Sue. The feeling of distaste grew stronger. I swallowed and said, "I need you to answer some questions."
The Sue hesitated. "I don't know. The last time I did that you fainted."
"This. Is. Important," I said stressing each word.
"There's no need to use that tone," she said. She looked like she might cry.
Fuck. Was she upset with me for being serious instead of praising her or whatever? It was no use. She wouldn't be any help. I stood up. "Never mind. I'll just go find out for myself."
I stormed away from Miss Sunshine and made my way to Cabin 3. I knew Annabeth and Luke were gone, but there was still a small chance Percy was here. I opened the cabin door, bracing myself.
As I feared, the cabin was neat and clean. If Percy had been here, this cabin would be a mess. I turned around in frustration and ran right into the Sue.
"Oh My!" she cried.
I immediately took a step back. I wasn't interested in bumping into Mary Sues.
"Do you not like your new cabin?" she asked.
I shook my head. "Leave me alone."
The Sue stared at me. "What's wrong?"
I glared at her, "What's wrong? What's wrong?! I'll tell you what's fucking wrong! I thought I had entered PJO heaven, but now I find myself in fucking hell. You probably don't even know who the fuck Percy Jackson is."
Andi wrinkled her nose again. "You really shouldn't swear. It's very rude."
"I don't fucking care," I said, starting to move past her. I had no idea where I was going. I just needed to get away from her. It just figured. This was what I got for reading all those shitty fics. Maybe if I had been more of a snob and stuck to the canon. I would be there instead of…
"Also, I do know who Percy Jackson is."
"Wait!" I said, turning back to her, "Seriously!"
"Yeah…" she said. "I'm pretty sure I do. I think he's in the Hermes cabin?"
I didn't wait for her to say more, I sprinted towards Cabin 11.
Footnotes
[1] I should point out that Peter does not seem to remember his review of "Andromeda Sunshine and the Lightning Thief." I'm guessing he made his review a long time ago as there is quite a bit of time between the Lightning Thief fic and this one. Plus, he himself said the fic was forgettable.
[2] I believe Andi is upset because the Lightning Thief and Sea of Monsters fics were rated T/ PG-13 and had little to no swearing.