Chapter 24: Should Someone Tell Nicky That Greek Gods Exist, Or Would That Be Rude?[1][2]

(Andi)

Bianca, Grover, Zoë, Peter, and I were inside a luxury tour bus with the best boy band in the whole world, Westlife![3]

AaaaaahhhH!

I still couldn't believe it. These hot snacks were the tastiest meat treats on the street!

First, there's Nicky.

NNNNiiiiiccccckkkkyyyyyy

Dagnap, he is so cute![4]

Gah!

I want my babies to be like him!

XXX

Nicky is like a young Leo except Nicky isn't crazy or Shakespearean and he's got misty green eyes that change color, kinda like mine.[5] They can be a soft green, emerald green, bright blue, light grey, or even a dark fathomless brown if the mood is right. His blonde locks are silky, straight, boyish, and cool. His nose is tweaked a bit to the side probably from real football and his smile is crooked which gives him a mischievous look that says he is always up to something.[6]

Nicky is also sugar snap sweet and outgoing and earnest, and he's got a really adorable shy side as well. He's the smallest, a worrier, a good Catholic boy, and a huge romantic.[7] The stories about what he'll do for his girl are so marry-me-now heart-warming, but that's the problem. Nick is married and like happily married too. He deserves it so I'm not jealous. I'm like happy for him. Really. Soooo happy for him and his girlfriend who seems couthy by girl standards and I'm sure she works really hard to be worthy of him, so yeah.[8] I'm swell, super swell, never been sweller.

Nicky's my second favorite anyway.

Next, there's Mark, he's the sensitive shy one with a witty sense of humor, angelic voice, and twilight-worthy good looks with a slim build, pale skin, dark hair swept up in a sexy style, stark angular eyebrows, Athena grey eyes, and the most beautiful lips, a full-on cupid's bow with an extra pout. Those pink lips of his are almost too much for a man to pull off, but Mark makes it chef's kiss perfect. He's a lot of girls' favorites, but I'm not like other girls. Plus, Mark likes boys and I like blondes so it was never going to work.

Sigh…

After that, there's Shane.

…[9]

And last and best and single and my second ever crush and my most favorite singer in the whole world, he should just go for a solo act already, K-I-A-N![10]

KIAN!

Too Hot! Too Sexy!

Take me all the way to XXX town![11]

My body is ready!

I! AM! YOURS!

All the other Westlife guys are boys. Kian is a bleeding MAN! I'd say a god, except Daddy might get jealous, but still, this man is the beefiest beefcake at the butcher.

Kian takes up the most SPACE. Not because he's the tallest, that's Mark. Or the widest, that's Shane. Or the smallest, that's Nicky.[12] Kian is just the rightest when it comes to stage presence and everything else.

He's got American good looks, like a more rugged, more manly, more attractive, less smarmy Ryan Gosling with a square jaw cut from actual DIAMONDS![13]

Kian's blonde hair is golder than the sun and his baby blue sapphire eyes are the color of mountain lakes and hypergiant stars. His smile could get a girl pregnant. It is that unreal.

And he's so fit and his arms, Gah![14] Plus, that slightly tanned skin says he exercises like. All. The. Time!

Kian is also the eldest and most serious one. He's passionate about the band and really cares about doing a good job, but he's also a bit shy, pretty funny, a lot sexy, super fashionable and glamorous, down-to-earth, sexy, so sexy, a surfer, and just a total supernova![15] In fact, he's such a sexy juicy fruity steam machine that I'm 98.2% sure he and Luke must be related somehow.[16] They are probably long-lost half-brothers or something.

With such double-stuffed man-muffins, I thought Zoë would throw a fit and reject my plan to catch a ride with these studs, even though I had already told Princess she could go home.[17] However, Zoë had taken one look at Kian and must have realized she too was a woman looking for a MAN because she said, "We may ride with them." [18]

Aaaaah!

Zoë is the best! Westlife is the best! KIAN is the BEST! Roasted duck and pizza is the b~e~s~t![19]

That's what we had for dinner with Westlife. And OMG, they are like so nice. I asked them everything I could think of as we ate together.[20]

Me and Westlife!

Gah!

Hours passed in a jiffy and now, Bianca and Grover were asleep. Zoë sat on the other side of the bus looking out the window. Mark and Shane were sitting upfront and I was sitting at the booth table with…

Nicky and Kian!

Blonde boys 4evar!

Let's make it happen!

I was having so much fun and not drooling at all, when Nicky said, "I'll be right back, lass. I just need to use the Jack."

"Absol-posit-cutely!" I said, like a super-duper normal Norma.

"Take your time, mate," Kian said. "Andi and I will be just fine." He gave me a saucy wink.

I giggled and heated happily. Did I mention that Kian was my very favorite band member and the beoriest ride like EVER!?[21]

"Mura mbeinn pósta go sona sásta…" Nicky mumbled, grumpily.[22]

"But you are Nicky," Kian said smugly, "And this sweet bloom needs tending. So, feck off, mucker." [23]

Poor Nicky glowered at Kian, smiled at me, and then stomped off to the bathroom.

Before Kian and I could do more than exchange a playful look, Zoë slid into Nicky's empty seat.

"Er…" Kian said, glancing at me.

I shrugged.

Zoë had seemed interested in Kian earlier and I was willing to share. As much as I WANTED Kian, he wasn't Luke or a husband material type of guy. Kian had to be shared with the ~world~ so I told myself to be generous.

I let Zoë give Kian a long accessing look.

I could feel the sparks flying.

I really never would have thought Zoë would be a Westlife fan, but I guess not all her music tastes were horrible or maybe Kian was just universal, like peaches.

Either way, it was suddenly just the three of us. Grover and Bianca were still asleep. Shane and Mike were still upfront. And Nicky had just left.

"Story horse?" Kian said, trying to be friendly.

"I thought you swore an oath to cease this nonsense long ago," Zoë said as her greeting. It was screwy, but maybe she was nervous. I know I was when I first saw Kian.

Luckily Kian is great with the ladies. He was perfectly convivial as he asked, "Cease what, lass?"

"Reincarnating into a mortal form," she clarified murkily, "You and Lord Hermes got into so much trouble the last time." She paused and then she said with needless emphasis, "Lord Apollo."

Holy Moly…

I stared fretfully at Zoë. She was trying way too hard with her pick-up lines. I know Kian was a stunner and incredibly gifted and blonde with the most beautiful blue eyes I'd ever seen besides mine since Luke.

And Gods, Luke did have the best eyes, like ice, no, starlight, no, they were the sort of winter blue you see on a cold clear day where the sky looks like sunshine and summer, but when you get outside it turns out to be below freezing. Except Luke's eyes didn't make me feel hypothermic. They gave me the warm fuzzy wuzzies. Just thinking of his eyes now was making me all gooey inside.

Kian's fine baritone broke through my thoughts. For some reason, he seemed confused, looking between me and Zoë as he said, "I don't know what you're…" But then he stopped talking as he took in Zoë's very unsexy glare.

There was sharing and then there was watching a girl commit social suicide all over your celebrity crush. I had to help Kian and stop Zoë from ruining what was left of her dignity. "Uh, Zoë," I began. I meant to explain the rules to the best icebreaker in existence.

But then Kian huffed, "Bollocks." And Kian somehow got hotter, like white-hot. His eyes filled with sunshine and the rest of him glowed too and then he stopped. Except he didn't stop. He was warmer and bigger too. I could just feel it.

"Why did you have to blow my cover, golden girl. Andi and I were having fun," he said. His Irish accent was gone.

"I am not sorry, Lord Apollo," Zoë said, stoutly.

Lord Apollo!?

"Jinky jeepers!" I exclaimed in wonder.[24]

I gaped at Zoë and Kian in awe. Zoë looked sure of herself and Kian was even more god-like than usual. "Apollo?" I said to the sex god next to me, "is that really you? I never would have guessed!" I would have fangirled over Westlife less if I had. They were only worth 73% a Luke collectively.

Oh Gods, was this a test? Did Apollo now think I was unfaithful?

Would he tell Luke?!

Gah! Why didn't anyone warn me Luke's dad was here?[25]

"Indeed, it is, my flower," Luke's dad said to me,

"The one and only

Or rather one and many.

It is a long story."

I tried to understand. Apollo, Luke's dad, was here. Apollo was Kian. Oh deary, this was kooky. Kian was Apollo. My favorite singer in the world, the mountiest adult man I knew, the one I dreamed about before Luke, was Luke's dad.[26] It made sense, but…

"Focus," Zoë said sharply.

For a second or two, I thought she was talking to me, but she said it to Kian? Apollo? Apian?

Then she said piercingly, "You have played around enough, Lord Apollo. Tell us why you have come. Do you have news of Lady Artemis?"

"Nope," Apian said, happily. "I directed myself over here to help with him," he gestured at Peter who was still asleep on one of the tour bus bunkbeds.

Peter!

After everything that had happened with Westlife, I had almost forgotten about him! "You can help him!" I exclaimed, excitedly.

Apian nodded. "I'm not the god of healing and medicine for nothing."

Hurrah!

"Thank you!" I smiled at him.

Apian blushed. "Ah well…it's nothing but a bit of divine magic."

Zoë scowled. "I cannot believe you have nothing to say about Lady Artemis."

"Hey," Apian said shortly, "If you wanted to gossip, you should have cornered Hermes instead. Now, let me out so I can deal with the wise guy."

Zoë reluctantly moved out of Apian's way as I asked sourly, "Wait, does that mean…"

There was a flushing sound and Nicky appeared from the bathroom. "Somebody said my name?"

I stared at Nicky's new size, presence, and brightened green irises. My own irises narrowed and I said coldly, "Hermes."

Hicky looked away from me, as he should.[27]

"Where's Luke?" I asked icily.

Hicky didn't say anything.

I was about to ask again, when Apian said, "As cool as it is to see my brother get roasted, I have a schedule to keep. Hermes, would you give me a hand," Apian said annoyingly, gesturing to Peter.[28]

Hicky's guilty gaze focused on Apian and he said suspiciously, "It's already done. See you in the morning."

Apian put a hand on my shoulder and said confusingly, "Don't be too hard on him or yourself."

I stopped glaring at Hermes to look up at Apian's gold-flecked bright blue eyes. "How can I?"

Apollo gave my shoulder a squeeze. "I've been there, my flower. Just take it one day at a time. Alright?"

I nodded.

He gave me a smile. "Cool beans, I'll see you later. And you," He pointed at Zoë as he slowly backed away from us. "Stop being so…" he waved his hand around.

Zoë raised an eyebrow.

"You know…judgy. I'm doing my best with the cards I've been dealt. I want to find my sister too, but it's not so easy for us Olympians to get involved. You know that."

Zoë gave him a cool look. "Just save the boy already, Lord Apollo."

Apian huffed, before throwing himself into Peter's bunk bed. Then he curled up next to Peter and went nighty-night.

I frowned. How was that supposed to do anything?

"He'll be healed in his sleep," a disgraced Greek god inhabiting a good Catholic boy said suspiciously.

"Hm," I responded, then I turned to Zoë. "So, you want to explain what just happened."

Zoë glanced at Hicky. "Lord Hermes would do a better—"

"Lord Hermes can't even do his job right," I said, accurately.

Hicky hung his head.

"I'm much more interested in your explanation, Zoë," I said, pleasantly.

Zoë smiled mischievously at me. "Thy candor is inspiring, Lady Andi."

"I thank you," I said, graciously before glancing over at Hicky to make sure he knew how to address me.

"Very well," Zoë said, helpfully. "I will do my best to explain to thee before I too go to bed."

I nodded. "Pray do so," I insisted, kindly.

Zoë began, "Though it is rare these days, the Greek gods have the power to reincarnate. It's different than just taking a mortal form. They inject their soul into a mother's womb and…"

I tried to pay attention to Zoë's lecture. I really did, but it was longer and more boring than I expected. Basically, Kian was Apollo and wasn't Apollo. Most of the time, he didn't even know he was a Greek god, but Apollo could inhabit him when he wanted to and when Kian died his soul would reenter Apollo.

I was pleased as peach punch for confirmation that Kian was the mellifluent avatar for an immortal music god. My soul had always known he was a divine prophet of pop, but poor Nicky. Hermes was truly fiendish to bar Nicky, who was Catholic, from Abraham's sweet bosom.[29]

I sent Hicky an extra mean glare as Zoë continued droning on, "It is normally considered to be a punishment or a sacred ritual, but Lord Apollo and Lord Hermes are known to do it for fun.[30] Though, I have not seen one of their reincarnations in several years since they had sworn not to engage in such games countless moons ago. Fool that I am, I thought that meant their word was true. Now I see that they have simply taken their tomfoolery overseas."

Zoë sighed. "Lady Artemis will not be pleased. She has not forgiven Apollo since he won that bet and she… but that is not a story I should tell," she concluded.[31]

I blinked. "Pardon?" Was she done at long last?

"Goodnight, Lady Andi," Zoë said, sleepily.

"GN Zoë," I replied, glad that her TMID time was over.[32]

I stopped being relieved when I realized Zoë had left me and Hicky alone. I got up. "I think I'll go talk to Mark and Shane." They weren't my favorites, but Mark was way better than Hicky or angry nightmares. "BBN." [33]

"Lady Andi," Hicky said pathetically, "Wait."

I paused, but only because Hicky was kneeling at my feet and blocking my way.

"I am so so so sorry," he said, unconvincingly. "Please, I just want things to go back to how they were.[34] I can't stand to have you hate me anymore."

I glared down at him. "Well, I do," I declared, truthfully. I was able to keep my cool when Daddy brought Hermes up, but seeing my brother's sneaky face again after this summer, even as Hicky, made my blood boil and pop.[35]

The god began to cry. "I'm sorry," he said, repetitively, "if I could tell you where Luke was, I would have done so it ages ago."

My mouth was a dot.[36] I knew he knew something worth knewing![37]

"Please," he took my hand. "Pretty please with a maraschino cherry on top, a chocolate banana on the bottom, and a peach strawberry sundae in the middle.[38] Forgive me…My Fair Lady Andi. I beg you."

He was sobbing now.

I sighed. Apollo had told me not to be too hard on him and I was a lady now. Plus, it was so nutty seeing Nicky cry. I was coolly livid at Hermes, not Nicky. Nicky was a mischievous and surprisingly sweet boy.[39] "OK Hermes," I said, dully. "Stop crying with Nicky's face."

Hicky sniffled. "Does that mean you forgive me?"

"No," I said, fairly, "but forcing a paragon like Nicky to cry for your own selfish desires is unfair and selfish."

"Oh."

"So, I'm actually a bit madder than before," I said convincingly.

"What?" he cried, worriedly. The god gripped my hand tightly. "No, please!" His lip trembled and his eyes went shiny, but he didn't cry.

I shook my head. He was doing this all out of order. Few men were good at crying, but this was sad and not because of the tears. "You say you're sorry," I said, matter-of-factly, "but you have no idea how much you've hurt me. Losing Luke is the great tragedy of my life right now and to know you're holding out on me…"

"I'm not holding out," Hicky said quickly.

"For realises?" I demanded, intensely.

"For shizzle," he confirmed, earnestly. "I've told you all I can, my nizzle."

"But not all you know," I said, discerningly.

Hicky hung his head again.

"What exactly did you tell Luke last summer before we left on our quest?" I asked with intense burning passion.[40] "Where is he? Is he dead? Is he injured? Is he lonely? Does he need a hug? Does he miss me or…" I faltered, "is he mad at me?" Please anything but that.

But Hicky didn't respond.

I slammed my fist on the booth table.[41] "You're useless!"

"I'm sorry," Hicky repeated, uselessly.

Tears welled up in my own azure orbs. "Why did you even bother to come if you were going to do this to me? Again!?"

"I—"

"Shut Up Hermes!" I shouted.[42]

Hermes closed his mouth.

"Luke is missing and for whatever reason, you're not helping. Since you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. So, explain to me how in the H-E-double hockey sticks am I supposed to forgive you!" I snapped, reasonably.

"I don't know! I just…I don't wanna be enemies," he said, pitifully. "Please, Andi, Andromeda, I…I love you."

I rolled my eyes. "Not enough apparently." [43]

Then, I closed my eyes, angrily. Luke was lost. Nico was in the underworld and Peter was in a beauty sleep.[44] They were the only boys I knew who didn't spend most of their time apologizing and confessing their love to me. Nico and Luke knew how to apologize of course and Peter…

Peter!

That's it!

I got an idea.

An awesome idea.

I had a wonderous, awesome idea.[45]

I knew just what to do. I cut off Hicky's whimpering and said, "Favors."

"Flavors?" he asked, confusedly, "I like fried chicken with honey milk, but I don't see—" [46]

"Shush!" I commanded.

The god shushed.

"I'd be willing to forgive you," I began.

Hicky's face brightened.

"But it'll cost ya," I promised, merrily.

"Anything within my power," he promised, foolishly.

"Goody," I said with a smile to my soul.[47] As smart, and as slick, and as quick as can be, I added, "Let's sit down and hash out my very special fee." [48]

Footnotes

[1] Nicky is Catholic.

[2] I call this chapter: Andi Fangirls A Lot. Be warned this is a LOUD chapter. Andi hasn't been this excited since she met Luke for the first time.

[3] Westlife is a really popular band in Europe in the early 2000's. I'm an American so I missed the craze, but apparently, they were signed on by American Idol's Simon Cowell, so that meant something to me. Also, personal opinion here, none of them are more than like an 8/10 and that's me being generous.

[4] I assume she means Dagnabbit which is a softer way of saying Damn it.

[5] I assume she's referencing Romeo + Juliet which starred a young Leonardo DiCaprio. And yes, Andi's eyes and hair do change color. Thus far in the series, her eyes have changed from shades of blue to a storm gray and her hair varies from dirty blonde to honey to straight up platinum blonde.

[6] Real football aka what us Americans call soccer.

[7] So, I looked it up (for you my fans), Nicky…(No, I'm pulling a Peter. I'm not calling a random adult man that.) Nicolas is actually taller than both Shane and Kian. This is one of many inconsistencies in Andi's descriptions.

[8] Andi should say wife, but perhaps she can't bring herself too.

[9] No, I did not delete Shane's paragraph. This is legit all Andi had to say about him. The reason I added a footnote is because I felt bad for him. Shane's one of the lead singers you know and he looks passably cute, in a boy-next-door kind of way.

[10] Actually, Kian isn't single and should be married by the time of this fic.

[11] Yeah…um…let's just call it sexy.

[12] Again. No, he's not.

[13] I just thought I should mention that Ryan Gosling is Canadian.

[14] Fit is also a term meaning attractive in the UK, I think.

[15] Supernova because he's so hot? Or maybe because he's a superstar.

[16] Fruity and juicy are both words that can mean sexy.

[17] I believe the term Andi is looking for is stud-muffin.

[18] Yeah, I have doubts.

[19] It looks like Bianca's and Zoë's fowl hunting was successful.

[20] For your sanity, (You thought I forgot about it, didn't you?) I cut this portion which repeats questions found on westlifefancite and fitriamonicafilan.

[21] Beor and Ride are Irish slang for a very attractive individual.

[22] Nicolas is speaking in Irish aka Gaelic. According to google translate, he's saying: If I wasn't happily married…

[23] Mucker means friend and is a term for a low laborer who removes muck in Ireland and England. Also, again, Kian is still married.

[24] Zoinks! A Scooby-Doo reference! Velma says jinkies. Daphne says jeepers and Shaggy says zoinks.

[25] They did…I actually like how well foreshadowed this is. Even ignoring Zoë's actions, there's Andi's description of Kian and the fact that Kian says a haiku to Nicolas before he leaves for the bathroom. So, I must conclude that Andi's shock is due to her ADHD which seems to have acted up again.

[26] How very Greek of you, Andi. Also, mount is another Irish word that means really attractive person.

[27] Is Andi's nickname for Nicolas/Hermes an insult or coincidence? The world may never know.

[28] Hermes is not just the god of thieves and travelers. According to Wikipedia, he is a Psychopomp (a person who brings souls to the underworld) and the divine messenger as well as a god of boundaries, roads, athletes, shepherds, commerce, speed, cunning, wit and…sleep. So yeah, this guy gets around.

[29] As you might have guessed Abraham's bosom is another name for Heaven.

[30] As this fic takes place well before Trials of Apollo, I must assume this is a reference to the myths about Apollo getting turned into a human. Yes, that is a thing. It happened not once, but twice. And the second time, Poseidon was pulled into the hijinks. That's what you get for trying to overthrow Zeus, I guess. Suddenly the Trials of Apollo makes a lot more sense. However, the way Zoë and Andi describe this reincarnation method seems different than how it works in the myths (and Trials of Apollo).

[31] I disagree, but we'll talk about this later.

[32] GN means both Goodnight and Get Naked. My best guess for TMID is either Too Much Info Dumping or Too Much Information Dude, but who knows?

[33] BBN is Bye Bye Now or possibly Be Back Never.

[34] Hermes and Andi met in the Sea of Monsters fic.

[35] It should also be noted that in the Sea of Monster fic, Hermes had a different and much younger appearance. He looked like and I quote: "a super-fly 14-year-old Harry Potter without the scar and nerdy glasses and with winged shoes and hat instead of a broom and a golden staff with the doctor symbol instead of a wand." This more closely matches Hermes's depictions in Greek mythology, but I have a feeling that's not why Alpha R did it.

[36] As opposed to a thin line?

[37] I knew, but it was too weird not to keep.

[38] Uh…so in the Sea of Monsters fic, Hermes had this way of talking like the people he speaks to. I must assume the intended purpose is that he can easily speak many languages. However, this mostly means that Hermes is fluent in the strange everchanging dialect of Andi English.

[39] Not unlike Hermes's Greek mythology self.

[40] Instead of supplying special items in the Sea of Monsters fic, Hermes helped Andi convince Luke to go on the quest. The wily god whispered some secret message into Luke's ear. When asked about it later, all Hermes would say on the matter is that: he told Luke what the heartbroken half-blood wanted to hear.

[41] I guess she's still standing near the booth table.

[42] I too wonder why no one else is hearing this loud discussion. My best guess is that either Hermes is using his god of messages powers to ensure no one can hear them or Andi is using her air powers to muffle sound outside of their bubble. However, I also like the image of everyone (except Peter and Apollo) overhearing all this and being too scared to intervene.

[43] Just another day in the life for our Sue, but Damn, she cold.

[44] As in sleeping beauty?

[45] Perhaps a grinch reference to wonderful awful ideas?

[46] Hermes apparently likes honey, milk, and roosters (among other things) as sacrifices, though there's no evidence of them needing to be sacrificed together.

[47] Yes, I am almost positive the last one was a grinch reference because this is also a grinch reference to the Grinch giving "a smile to his soul" which in my mind means that Andi is giving Hermes a very grinchy grin right now.

[48] This also seems to be a Grinch reference to "That old Grinch was so smart and so slick, that he thought up a lie and he thought it up quick". Also, wow! This blows our previous footnote record out of the water as it were. Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays?

A/N: Hi all,

I'm still working on Rajah's Curse and its companion pieces (which translates to a lot of stressing, writing, philosophizing, rewriting, editing, questioning my existence, and occasionally making actual progress), and normally I don't publish much in December, but I looked up last week and realized that today 12/6 marks Sue's Curse's one-year anniversary. And I knew I had to publish the next chapter. So, here we are. This was quite the shift from the last New Moon chapter, but there were surprise celebrity guests, greek gods, Andi being her sueself, and a possible cure for Peter, so I hope you still enjoyed it.

I can't believe it's already been a year. As of today, I've published over 25 chapters of this story. I don't care that I'm a mere editor. Joy is hard to come by these days so I'm going to be proud of my progress!

I'm also looking forward to the next arc. It's...um...different than the usual PJO fair, so yeah...you'll see what I mean. In the meantime, I hope everyone has a happy holiday this winter. If you liked to reread this story, I suggest checking out Sue's Curse on AO3. It has linked footnotes now which is nice. Otherwise, you know the drill, consider feeding my ego by leaving a review, favorite, follow, or by checking out my other stories.

I'll see you in the new year.

Bye!