Forty-five.
Olivia and Noah crossed the final avenue and approached the path adjacent to the Hudson River. The breeze was strong enough to make Noah blink rapidly under his stegosaurus helmet. He gripped the handlebars tightly and rolled back and forth while standing flat-footed on the cement and waiting for his mother's instructions.
"Okay, sweet boy," Olivia said, "Up or down?"
Considering his options, Noah looked back and forth. His preferred outdoor cafes were located to the north, but the best playgrounds and his favorite city sights were in the opposite direction.
"Down! Maybe we'll go all da way to da statue!"
"Well, let's give it a try!"
They pedaled along at a fairly quick pace. Noah weaved his way through slower traffic, and Olivia prided herself for not only ignoring her nervousness but feeling a sense of pride at his skills on the two-wheeler. As they approached the first playground he slowed and came to a stop, but only to take a sip from his water bottle.
"Good ride, Mommy!" He said between drinks.
"Sure is!"
Noah surveyed the playground. There were only a handful of kids and most of them were younger than Noah. "I think I don't wanna stop at da playground."
"We don't have to. We'll keep going."
"Cause...I like ta play with da babies."
Once again, Noah's charm and ability to so easily articulate pure, genuine love for his siblings left Olivia slack-jawed and fighting tears. Moments like these forced her to pinch herself and be reminded he was a real child-an unbelievably sweet six-year-old who was so naturally prone to comments such as the one he'd just made he didn't think twice about how it affected his mother.
"Mommy?"
"Oh, oh, sorry honey," Olivia adjusted her sunglasses, "Ready?"
"Yep! Lessgo! We're almost there! Follow me!"
…..
While Olivia and Noah were on their bike ride, Ed took the twins to meet Brooke and Sofia at Jane's Carousel. It was a long ride through thick traffic for such a quick visit, but Ed had all the time in the world. He packed as lightly as possible, strapped the twins in their car seats, and chatted with them as he drove. "When ya get a little older we'll take the train," he said, peeking at Maggie and Wyatt in the rear view mirror.
"TANE!"
"TANE, DADA!"
"TANE! FASS!"
"Zooooooooooooom!"
"Chooo!"
Their arms and legs flailed all over the place as they shouted out every train-related word they knew.
"We're gonna see Brooke and Sofia and ride on the carousel on a horse!"
"HORSIE!"
Wyatt made a strange-sounding noise. It baffled Ed for a minute until he realized Wyatt was mimicking the horse whinny from one of the twins' activity boards.
"That's right, bud!"
Ed found a parking spot less than a block away from the park. He held the twins' hands as they made their way to the appointed meeting spot and they easily found Brooke sitting on a bench with seven-month-old Sofia standing in her lap.
"Look," Ed said excitedly, "There's Brooke and Sof!"
"BOOK!
Wyatt and Maggie ran to Brooke and jumped around in front of her. Wyatt hugged her legs. Maggie spotted Brooke's cup of fresh lemonade and helped herself to a sip.
"Ope, small sister, well, go ahead."
Maggie had to hold the cup low to use the straw. She was so focused she didn't balk when Ed whisked Sofia from Brooke and swung her around a few times. By the time he sat down, Maggie and Wyatt were entranced watching an older child blow bubbles nearby.
"Gorgeous day," he said.
"Yes! We've been here for a while actually." Brooke seemed unsure what to do with her arms without Sofia so she leaned forward, put her elbows on her knees, and stared ahead at the other children and families enjoying the pleasant spring day.
"Want to go for a spin or two and grab some lunch around here? We had a late breakfast."
"Sure."
On the carousel, Ed found two ponies next to one another so he could keep a hand on each of the twins. During the ride, Wyatt held onto the pole tightly with both hands; Maggie, more excitable and prone to let go, needed to be shadowed more closely. They rode twice more and Ed and Brooke took turns snapping photographs.
What they didn't know was that while they were on the ride, three blocks away, a van operated by a drunk driver had careened through an intersection and plowed into a parked car and, sadly, a cluster of pedestrians. Ed and Brooke had stowed their phones so their hands were free to wrangle the kids for the walk to the restaurant. Olivia, however, was parked at a waterfront table with Noah. They had just ordered lunch and Olivia missed the news alerts at first because Noah was raving at receiving his ice water in a wine glass. Her heart sank when she opened the first link. A pit formed in her stomach and she had to remind herself to breathe. Across from her, Noah sat watching boats enter and exit the harbor, oblivious to what was happening. Olivia frantically dialed Ed. Then Brooke. Then Ed again. While she waited for a call back she desperately searched for more information, but it was too early. Each article ended with "will update shortly."
Noah started talking about New Jersey and how Sarah said it was the "Garden State but dey don't have any gardens!"
Olivia tried to listen and offered a few replies, but she couldn't give Noah her full attention. She kept making calls.
…..
"Don't be cute, Detective."
Olivia rolled her eyes and rephrased her answer. She had planned to make the interview as brief as possible, but Tucker kept asking frivolous questions about the dinner party-how much and what exactly Amaro ate, his mood, and why he'd been one of the first to leave. The questions became more personal, and his gruff IAB voice turned into something that sounded almost friendly.
"Look," he said, "Amaro's stuck between a rock and a hard place. And I hope it gets to a jury because a jury will never convict. Not with this. Not even with video footage."
Perplexed, Olivia opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Tucker continued.
"This," he held a manila folder and inch about the table and let it fall. "Is nothing but One PP making a statement. Politics." He uttered the final word as if its mere sound sent sharp pains through his abdomen. Then, suddenly, he seemed to realize Benson wasn't exactly an ally, amd he reverted back to in-character IAB Ed Tucker.
"While Amaro's off tell him to get his story straight," Tucker muttered, "This is gonna get worse before it gets anywhere near better."
"Got it."
"Thanks for coming in."
Olivia raised her eyebrows. "You make it sound like I had a choice."
Tucker shrugged, leaned back in his chair, and shot her a cocky smirk.
Olivia did a double-take. His ability to go from kind to IAB to sassy in a matter of seconds amazed her.
"Have a good day, Detective, or, well, Sergeant now I hear?"
"Officially...soon," Olivia tried and failed to suppress a smile.
"Congratulations."
Olivia narrowed her eyes and nodded her thanks.
Tucker could tell she didn't trust his sincerity, and he knew there wasn't anything he could say to change that fact. Nevertheless, he added. "Bout time."
"A lot of changes coming…" Olivia let her guard down slightly and added, "Munch and...Cragen…"
"NYPD life cycle."
"Yeah. Well, if we're done here…" Olivia had a foot in the room and a foot outside. She was eager to end the small talk but wasn't quite sure how to get out of there. Tucker didn't seem to want her to leave.
"Oh, yeah," Tucker collected the files from his side of the table. "Done. Well, for now."
"Right."
"We'll be in touch as the investigation continues."
"Of course."
….
When Ed called back, Olivia violently grabbed the phone and, for a split second, thought she'd cracked the screen. Noah jerked his head in her direction and looked at her with wide, curious eyes. She said hello to Ed and reassuringly patted Noah's hand.
"Hey, sorry," Ed said. "Just sat down to eat lunch and saw everything."
"Thank God you're okay."
"We're fine," he replied in his most soothing voice. He put the phone between Maggie and Wyatt and told them to say hi to Mommy. The twins cooperated and screeched "MAMA" and their words for "pizza."
"Okay," Olivia mumbled.
"We're gonna eat and come home. Unless...you want me to head there now?"
"No, no...eat. Noah and I don't have our food yet." Olivia took a deep breath. "It's...terrible though, for those people…"
"Not us, though, Liv."
"I know."
"Hey," he sounded a bit like a coach, "Enjoy the rest of the afternoon, or, try to. We'll see you later and Wyatt and Maggs'll tell ya all about riding the horsies."
Hearing him say "horsies" made Olivia chuckle. Hearing her chuckle made Ed smile.
"I love you, Liv."
"Love you."
"Hey-where ya eatin?"
"P.J. Clarke's. The one at Brookfield Place."
"Ohh. Faaancy."
Smiling and calmer, Olivia told him to enjoy the pizza and his company. Her own date had been partially ignored for the past few minutes and she needed to give him her full attention. After another round of I love yous, she ended the call and placed the phone in her small wraparound bag.
"Done talkin, Mommy?"
"Nope," Olivia replied, "I'm not. I want to talk to you, sweet boy."
Noah grinned, perched himself on the edge of his chair, and began explaining the differences among the several boats he'd noticed while Olivia was on the phone.
….
The tavern's white-clothed tables were filling up quickly when Ed and Olivia arrived, so Ed felt extremely lucky when they snagged a spot for two in front of a window overlooking 18th Street. The view wasn't especially scenic, but strands of multicolored Christmas lights and a blue-bulbed menorah created a cozy, romantic holiday ambience and added to Ed's hearty holiday spirit.
Expecting a prompt server, Olivia perused the cocktail menu. Ed watched her lips contort slightly as she read the descriptions. He was caught up in her beauty and how the Cartier necklace gleamed against her skin and fell perfectly in between her collarbone and the edge of her black V-neck sweater. She curled the menu inward and the large diamond affixed to her engagement ring sparkled and momentarily took on the hue of the Christmas colors. Ed was so transfixed, he was visibly startled when the server asked if he could take their drink orders.
"I'll have the Bourbon Maple Apple Cider," Olivia said at once.
Ed blinked and, to buy a few seconds, cleared his throat.
Amused, Olivia grinned at him and asked if he needed more time. "Sorry," she said in a teasing voice. "I thought you were ready."
Ed managed to order his usual bourbon and smirked sheepishly at Olivia after the server scurried away to get the cocktails.
"Y'alright over there?" Olivia asked.
"Too good."
She cocked an eyebrow. "Is there such a thing?"
"When ya can't order a drink?"
"Where'd you drift off to, Ed Tucker?"
"I was just thinkin' how, wherever we go, I'm the luckiest guy in the room."
Her cheeks turned a deep crimson and it wasn't from the effect of the lights. Olivia felt the blood rush to her face and even after they'd been together for years, she felt the familiar chills traverse her spine. Ed Tucker had been the only man able to cause that particular sensation. She reached for one of his hands and kissed his knuckles. They had spent the late afternoon hours doing some old fashioned, brick-and-mortar-store Christmas shopping. The kids were with Sarah and Justin who generously agreed to have dinner with Noah and the three-year-old twins at one of Noah's favorite places, Max Brenner.
"I feel good, Liv."
"So do I." Her brown eyes were wide and sincere. A year ago at Christmas, their relationship had been as strained as it had ever been. The first month of Olivia's retirement went by quickly. First there was her party and then a few more casual gatherings. Then, they headed for the beach house where they remained until early August. Once Noah went back to school, Olivia began to miss the routine of going to work. She spent more time at the Benson Center and found herself regretting leaving SVU...which then brought on waves of guilt. How could she long for her job when she had a husband and three kids at home? Her plan to be totally present had lasted all of eight weeks. What was wrong with her? Sorting out the complicated emotions was troubling and scary, so she went back to therapy.
And...either out of shame or due to old habit or fearing how he'd react, she did not mention any of her anxieties to Ed. At least, not right away. The longer she waited the more nervous she felt about opening up to him. Another round of guilt ensued, for who could she trust if not Ed?
Perpetually good at reading people, particularly his wife, Ed picked up on her melancholy and it didn't take an IAB investigator's instincts to feel the distance growing between them. He was scared because he recognized warning signs from his previous marriage and he was determined this one would be different. This marriage, he thought, was bulletproof.
He was right. Olivia finally opened the floodgates and they got back on track.
Ed took a sip of his drink and reached for her hand. "It's been a great year."
"Fantastic year." There was no doubt about her sincerity. She was grinning from ear-to-ear and her eyes sparkled. Not only was she content and thrilled to be out with her handsome, loyal husband, but she was immensely proud of herself for finally settling in to post-Lieutenant life.
"You wanna order somethin?"
"You know," Olivia replied sweetly as she looked around the dining room, "I think I'd like to hang out with you here for a while…" she lifted her glass, "Couple of these first? Share something a little later?"
Ed followed her sight line and nodded. "Real nice here, yeah...let's stay a while."
….
Preparing for bed always included flirtatious bumps and nudges. Depending on the day and Olivia's hours, Ed briefed her on the kids or they laughed about something the twins or Noah did or said during their evening together. The next day's plans would be discussed. If the weekend was near, the conversation centered on Saturday and Sunday and which events around the city would be fun and appropriate for their brood.
The night of the Brooklyn car accident, Olivia's words were few and far between. She put on a happy front with the kids, but as soon as they were asleep and Ed had her alone, he dedicated the rest of the night to bringing her back to happier spirits and erasing the tragic could-have-beens from her mind.
"C'mere," he said in the most authoritative voice he ever used with her. He took her into his arms and copied her movements so she couldn't avoid eye contact. "What's goin' on in there?"
Smiling weakly and conceding he'd gotten the better of her, she replied, "I'm glad nobody was killed there today."
"And?"
"And I'm so relieved it wasn't you and I feel guilty about being relieved at another family's expense."
Ed softly kissed her lips. "You're too good for me."
Disappointment filled her eyes. "You're not thinking about the victims?"
"I feel for 'em, Liv," he replied sincerely, "I really do. But the thing is, the difference is between me and you? Is that I'm selfish. It's real easy for me to say, it's not us. And you? You can say it...but you'll never own it," he paused and shot her a cocky grin, "And that's why you're too good for me."
Olivia shook her head. "No...I need you to do exactly what you're doing right now. To save me...from making myself crazy."
Ed kissed her face a few more times. "All of that aside, though...sounded like you and Noah had a good ride."
"We did. He's...he has this growing fascination with New Jersey."
Ed screwed up his face and muttered, "Oh God."
His exaggerated disgust made Olivia laugh.
"Well," Ed continued with a shrug, "Maybe we'll take him over there one 'a these days."
"Give him the opposite view."
"Yeah," Ed played with her hair and gazed adoringly into her eyes. "I love seein' you smile."
Olivia swallowed a lump in her throat and ducked her head. Ed could feel her shoulders start to tremble and he wrapped her in a tight embrace, knowing she needed to cry a little to completely shake off the ugly part of the day. He swayed her a bit and rubbed the back of her head until her breathing went back to normal. However, when he started to loosen his grip, she objected.
"Just a few more minutes," she murmured into his neck.
He kissed the side of her head and whispered, "Long as you want."
…
When Ed and Olivia decided they'd stretched Sarah's and Justin's generosity long enough, they reluctantly asked for the check and finished the last of their cocktails. Olivia stood up, but before Ed could join her, she put a hand on his arm and asked him to wait a minute.
"Be right back," she smiled, leaned in for a kiss, and headed for the restroom.
Ed stared out the foggy, holiday tinted window. He had Olivia's coat in his lap and couldn't wait to gallantly help her into it, adjust her scarf, and catch a whiff of her perfume as she flipped her hair so it wasn't stuck inside the collar. She hadn't been gone more than a few minutes, but he missed her….he was still desperately, madly in love with Olivia Margaret Benson Tucker.
At the feel of her hand on his back, he turned around and was immediately drawn to her freshly glossed lips. His kiss smeared a bit of her work, but he was sure she didn't care-she'd freshened her makeup on purpose, teasing him, and probably predicting he'd rush to get the kids cleaned up and in their pajamas when they got home.
"Ready?" He asked.
"Yes."
They exited through the much narrower bar area. Ed placed himself between the densely packed crowd and his wife and led her to the door with his arm around her waist. They were maybe ten or fifteen steps from the exit, but, with each pace, Olivia's body filled with more warmth and security than she'd felt in a while. It reminded her of the first couple of times Ed had made a move like this-an act of chivalry, his protective (and adorably possessive) nature on display, and, what made it so perfect was that he could make her feel safe without diminishing her strength. For the first time in her life, Olivia became comfortable allowing someone else to care for her, and she craved Ed's touch, his obvious infatuation, and his mere presence.
Once they were out on Irving Place, Olivia grabbed him by the collar and planted an appreciative, sensual kiss on his lips. It didn't last long, but the smooch left them both breathless. Ed didn't need an explanation, and Olivia didn't immediately offer one. She clasped his arm with both hands and they ambled along, eager to take their children home and bask in more of the perfection that was their life.
…..
#Tuckson