Forty-six.

Ed came home from the market and found Olivia sitting on the sofa clad in jeans and a white t-shirt, the collar of which fell tantalizingly low on her chest. Her hair was swept back into a chignon and there was fresh makeup, including Ed's favorite shade of lipstick, on her face. In profile she appeared regal. He smirked. She was so far out of his league. Way too good for him. How did he get so lucky?

"You're home," she said as if she'd been waiting for his arrival for far too long.

"Yeah. What's, uh, you goin somewhere?"

"We are."

Ed held up the shopping bags, confused as to why she'd instructed him to bring food for dinner.

"Kids will have that," Olivia said of the rotisserie chicken and mashed potatoes. "We're going out. Date night." She stood up and kissed him before whispering a husky, "Surprise."

He blushed slightly and puckered his lips for another kiss. "What about," he tilted his chin toward the rug where Noah and the twins were cheerfully playing together. "Those people?"

"Babysitter on the way. Sarah's neighbor."

"Then I guess I better change clothes." Ed looked down at his hooded sweatshirt and well-worn khaki shorts. The outfit would not do for a date with his wife, though he knew she probably didn't care what he wore.

Grinning, Olivia took the bags from him. "Thirty minutes."

Before Ed turned to go to the bedroom, he stopped and asked another question. "Whatcha got planned, Lieutenant?"

"Dinner and a movie? That CIA one you've been wanting to see?"

Flattered, his face flushed even more. "Wow...thanks...you, uh, that one didn't seem to interest you?"

True, spy thrillers were not Olivia's preferred genre, but she wanted to give her husband an Ed-centric night. "I already bought the tickets. Case closed."

"Yes ma'am."

…

Olivia, with Noah, Maggie, and Wyatt underfoot, opened the door for the babysitter. Noah immediately noticed G was without the knee brace, crouched to inspect her leg, and tapped a small scar with an index finger.

"You all better, G! Ya don't have da brace!"

Neither Noah nor Sarah thought to mention seeing G's knee in the brace, so Olivia was confused. G smiled and gave her a brief rundown of her injury and recovery.

"Partially torn MCL," G said, "I had it scoped about a month ago."

"Oh no," Olivia said. Her face filled with concern. "Noah, no chase or any other running tonight, sweet boy. Let G rest her knee."

Noah took G's hand. "C'mon. I show you my puzzles. You wanna do a puzzle?"

"Sure."

Olivia took the twins by the hands and led them to their bedroom where she swapped their shorts and t-shirts for pajamas. Maggie was first. Before Olivia completely pulled the top over her daughter's head, she said, "Oh, no, where's Maggs? Where's my girl?"

"HEEE! HEEE, Ma!"

"There she is!"

Maggie's eyes lit up. She smiled and shrieked. Her staticky hair stuck to the sides of her face and across her forehead. Olivia brushed it back and kissed her. "I love you, sweet girl."

"Ma! Mama!"

Olivia looked down at Wyatt. He had his pajamas in his hands and an expression of longing on his face. He wanted Mommy cuddles, too. Olivia put Maggie on the floor and hoisted Wyatt in the air before placing him on his back on the changing table. She blew strawberries on his belly, touched her nose to his, and told him how much she loved him. Wyatt grabbed her hair and smiled placidly. He yawned, and Olivia hoped the twins' short naps would result in an easy bedtime routine for G and Noah.

"Got your truck PJ's tonight, huh big guy?"

"TUCK! Vroooooom!" Wyatt waved his fists in the air and slammed them down on the pad. "BOOM! Du'truck!"

"So smart, Wyatt."

Ed poked his head into the room. "Ready when you are, Liv."

As she soaked up a few more snuggles with Wyatt, Olivia admired her handsome husband. He wore dark jeans and a plain, tight-fitting, black polo shirt, the sleeves of which hugged his biceps. Olivia's eyes drifted from his arms to his waist. Many men Ed's age had bellies that bulged over their belts. Ed's midsection was trim and firm, and, if she didn't know better, she would have thought the jeans had been tailored specifically for him.

She gave Wyatt one final kiss, whispered that she'd see him in the morning, and put him down. He scampered into the living room to join the others.

"Ready," she said softly.

"I'm followin' you, Lieutenant."

They said their goodbyes and reminded G to help herself to snacks and drinks. Noah asked for permission to watch a movie after the twins went to bed, which would extend his own bedtime, and Ed gave him the okay. Satisfied, Noah grinned and went back to the puzzle.

Ed took Olivia's hand and they headed out.

"Let date night begin," Ed quipped as they waited for the elevator.

"I hope you have a good time."

He planted a firm kiss on her lips. "Already am."

…

Minutes after Olivia assured a despondent Sarah that she would, one way or another, get the family she wanted, an unfamiliar number appeared on Olivia's phone screen. She made no effort to hide the call. Sarah saw the confusion on her face and asked if she knew who it was.

"I don't…" Olivia answered anyway. Ed should have picked up the kids from school already, but strange things could happen and Olivia hated the idea of one of her children calling her only to hear her voicemail message.

Sarah listened to Olivia's replies and felt a glimmer of her old, mischievous self return. It didn't take long for Sarah to realize the caller was Maggie's teacher...and he or she was not bearing good news. Very slowly, Olivia pressed her lips together until they were in one straight, rigid line.

"Maybe I don't want kids so badly?" Sarah asked, her eyes wide and sparkling. She was grateful for a momentary reprieve from the gravity of the day.

Startled at the joke, Olivia's jaw dropped. Then, seeing Sarah was genuinely intrigued, she rubbed her temples and shook her head. "Miss Maggie...talks too much."

Sarah burst into giggles. "The teacher called because of that? It must be really bad."

Olivia sighed, "The teacher...I think gets a little, well, disillusioned? Because Wyatt's so calm and laid back and doesn't talk much and Maggie, well, you know, and I think she compares the two of them...unfairly." Olivia wiggled the plastic garnish sword around in her glass, "I wonder if they should be in different classes next year."

"Well, if she's comparing Maggs and Wyatt, that's not fair. She needs to channel Maggie's energy."

"That would be nice...but Maggie has to be respectful. The teacher said she rolled her eyes when she was redirected."

"Omigod." More giggles ensued. "Sorry, Livvie...I wish I could have seen that."

Later, Olivia would have to be stern with Maggie, but she allowed herself to laugh with Sarah. "Is it bad I sort of wish I would've seen it, too?" She asked sheepishly.

"No, Livvie. I bet it was hilarious."

…

Movies were a rarity for Ed and Olivia, but when they saw a show in the theatre, they always snagged seats in the upper level, off to the side, where they could be isolated from everyone else. Predictably, Ed grumbled about the console preventing him from putting an arm around his wife's shoulders, and Olivia offered a few kisses as compensation. The movie was fast-paced and required one to pay close attention-the main characters flew from country to country and back and forth across two continents, trying to thwart a ring of smuggling assassins. In seconds, purported good guys became bad guys and bad guys became even worse guys. Ed snuck doubtful glances at Olivia, but she appeared to be just as wrapped up in the plot as he was. She sat back, relaxed but intensely focused. He could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she tried to predict the ending.

At one point, though, the main character found himself trapped in a room with two other men. After being beaten, the men drew a pistol, inserted one bullet into the chamber, and offered up the gun to their victim.

Russian Roulette.

Ed stiffened.

Olivia's jaw tensed, but she did not divert her eyes, even when Ed grabbed her hand and whispered, "Let's get outta here."

Ed was almost standing before Olivia finally processed everything. She nudged him back into his seat and whispered, "I'm fine." The concern on his face was palpable, and she knew he didn't believe her. "Honey. I'm good."

She squeezed his hand, and Ed refused to let it go until the credits rolled.

….

Although he was afraid to admit it, Olivia Benson was becoming an addiction Ed Tucker couldn't and didn't want to shake. They were becoming more and more comfortable around one another and less cautious about exchanging flirtatious touches and sneaking kisses in public, so, when Olivia rushed into the bar to meet him for a late afternoon cocktail, Ed had no qualms about standing and planting a firm smooch on her lips. She gave him a grin and took the seat reserved for her by Ed's blazer.

"Sorry I'm late," she said, "Lindstrom was a little backed up today."

Ed's eyes shot wide open. The ease with which she mentioned her therapist startled him, and he didn't know how to respond. "It's, uh...um...was it a regular appointment?"

"You mean did something terrible happen?" The grin had not left Olivia's face.

Ed was even more shocked she was treating the matter with such levity. "Did something happen?"

"No, no," she patted his arm, "Monthly check in. That's all."

He nodded and sipped his bourbon.

"Something wrong?" She asked. Lately, Ed had seemed to be on cloud nine whenever they met, so his gloomy expression was perplexing.

"I, uh...therapy...I dunno, seems so private, I-"

"I'm sorry," Olivia said. "I didn't think you'd...mind?"

Ed was quick to respond. "No, no, I don't mind. Not at all. I….want you to tell me this kind of stuff, I thought, maybe, it was somethin' you would rather keep to yourself."

Olivia sighed. She held his hand and looked directly into his eyes as she spoke. "I'm probably always going to see someone," she said, "When things are bad and when they're amazingly good...like right now." She emphasized that particular sentence and Ed blushed. "And I can tell you because I know you won't judge me or try to shrink me or feel...inadequate."

"I admire you, Liv," Ed replied in his softest voice, "For being committed to going, to taking care of yourself. I never took it seriously when I had to go...it was checkin' a box...and I wonder, if, maybe I would've been more committed some other things in my life woulda turned out differently."

Olivia assumed he was alluding to his ex-wife. She played with his fingers on the hand she was holding. "Maybe, maybe not…were things...already bad...when…"

"When I lost those hostages?"

"Yes."

"They were. We were both so far gone."

"Then at least you had a couple of sessions to deal with losing those people. Thinking of you processing it all...all alone...well, I guess, I understand how that goes."

Ed took a deep breath. "I'm about to say somethin' that may be a little, uh, premature for where we're at."

"Go ahead."

"I wanna see to it that you never have to go through anything alone ever again."

Olivia leaned in for a sweet, tender kiss. She'd been waiting to hear someone say that for a long time, and Ed's words were so sincere she was sure her days of weathering storms solo were over.

…

With the twins sound asleep in their beds, G and Noah decided to park themselves on the couch and watch a movie. G had been around Noah fairly often, but she was nevertheless surprised when he cuddled up next to her and covered himself with one of the several throw blankets the Tuckers placed around the living room.

Noah yawned.

"Tired?" G asked.

"Yeah...had a busy day."

G smiled at the precocious remark. "Thank you for helping out with Maggie and Wyatt tonight," she said.

"Welcome! Those babies always wanna baby pile so we hadta impra'vise."

"Improvise?"

"Yeah, that's when ya gotta have another plan 'cause da first plan didn't work!"

G grinned. Noah was simply amazing. Earlier, when the twins got wound up and rowdy, Noah tried everything he could to calm them down. However, both Maggie and Wyatt jumped up and down and shouted "BAY PIE GEEEEEE!" They ran at G's legs, but Noah put his body between her and his siblings. He then instructed G to sit on the large beanbag and let the twins baby pile on her that way, careful to protect her knee. Maggie and Wyatt draped their little bodies over hers and called out the parts on her face.

"EYE!"

"EAR!"

"NOSE!"

"HAYERRRRR!" Maggie flipped G's hair over her face, huffed, "Where G?" then cracked herself up when she parted the strands, revealing her eyes. "Peek boo!" The baby piling along with the other games they played fatigued the twins enough so they went to bed without fussing. G only had to lay Maggie down twice before she curled up with her blanket and baby and closed her eyes.

Leaning against her now, Noah felt heavier and heavier, and G knew he wouldn't make it through the entire movie.

"G knee," he murmured.

"What's that Noah?"

"G Knee! It rhymes! We learned about rhymes at da end of Kindergarten and I'm gonna write a poem for ya, G!"

"Oh, wow, thanks!"

"I'll write it on da c'puter then I'll send it to Sare Bear...hey! When's Sare Bear gettin back?"

"I think next week."

"I miss her!"

"You really love her, don't you?"

"Uh-huh! We're best friends and I'm her 'sistant sometimes 'cause I'm good at math and I can talk Spanish, that's what Sare Bear does at work she does numbers and tells people stuff in Spanish. Then on Wednesday she picks me up!"

"Sounds like a pretty good life."

"Yep!"

"G?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm givin' a speech for Mommy."

"Really?"

"Yeah...I'm gonna tell all da people I love her and we're super best friends, but...Mia say I can only have ONE best friend!"

"Well, that's not true. You can have as many best friends as you want. The more the better."

Noah looked up at her. "You sure?"

"Absolutely."

As if a crippling weight had been lifted, Noah let out a relieved breath and collapsed back into G's side. Minutes later, his eyelids were drooping. G assumed he had drifted off to sleep, so she was surprised when she heard his voice, slightly slurred, say, "G, you my best friend, too."

….

Ed clutched Olivia's hand and moved at a quick pace as they exited the theatre. Once on the street, he walked so fast Olivia had to tell him to slow down. He apologized and slung an arm across her shoulders, pulling her close. Before the movie, they had chosen a nearby bar for their nightcap, but, as they approached, he showed no sign of slowing down.

"Hey," she said, "Aren't we going in?"

"You want to?"

"Yes." She gave him a quick peck on the lips. "I'm fine, Ed. C'mon."

"Fine…"

It was warm enough to sit outside, but they opted for a corner spot at the bar. Ed had trouble starting any type of conversation that wasn't about the movie scene. He was horrified. "Liv, uh, I didn't know there'd be a scene like that...if I'd known, I never woulda gone."

"I know, honey," she said softly. "I...I can't avoid every reminder all the time...and you can't either."

"I hate remembering you...there…" Ed was desperately trying to avoid saying Lewis' name or granary or any other specific detail from the ordeal.

"It's terrifying," Olivia said in a low voice, "And it's always going to be in my head somewhere. But I learned...through therapy...through, just, living, that I'll be in even worse shape if I'm constantly on the lookout for triggers."

Ed scooted closer so their legs were touching and stroked her face with the back of his hand. "I promised I would protect you...from everything…"

"Impossible," Olivia countered, "But...when you can't prevent...you're still here…for everything that comes after."

"I'm always gonna be here."

"I know...and that makes the trauma, when it comes back, a lot less frightening than it used to be."

He smiled and kissed her. She cupped the back of his head, keeping him close, and inviting a more passionate liplock. Breathing heavily, he pressed his forehead to hers. "Finish this one and we'll go home?"

"We have time…" Olivia saw the urgency in his eyes and acquiesced, "But, sure...we can go."

Ed looked at her apologetically, "I really wanna be home...getcha in my arms."

"Okay." Olivia kissed him once more. "Ed?"

"Hm?"

"I have a question."

"What's that?"

"After...um...when I came in to IAB and sat down with you and Cole…"

"Yeah?"

"You took the lead in questioning me, except...for one question."

Ed nodded. He knew where she was headed.

"Cole asked…"

"I hesitated," Ed explained, "I didn't want to ask...I...I think I didn't want to know, because, if the answer would have been yes...there was no way to get justice, and I felt, well, you know, I had feelings for you even then, didn't know exactly what they were, but I was pissed I couldn't do more to…"

"...protect me?"

"Yeah. Or fix it."

"I don't remember much...about the days after. It's a fog, really. But I remember, in the end, how shocked I was that I could trust you...that you really were trying to do everything to make things easier for me, I didn't agree with it, but I appreciated it...eventually."

"You're so unbelievably strong," Ed gave her a soulful look, "That's one of the things I admire most about you."

"I was worried, for a brief period of time, that I was too strong, that I'd developed such a thick skin that I couldn't love anyone, that I would spend the rest of my life as this hardened, pissed off at the world cop, that I'd lost all compassion, all empathy...but that didn't happen."

"It most definitely didn't happen."

Olivia swigged the last of her drink. She glanced down at where Ed's hand was resting on her thigh. "Sure you don't want one more?" Olivia wasn't trying to prolong their outing to avoid going home; there was something about date nights, even date nights that had taken a dark detour, that made her feel the full effect of the security Ed provided.

"Yeah," he said, smiling, "Let's have one more."

….

#Tuckson

Sorry this update has taken so long! Work stuff...grrrrrrr!