A Walk Among Giants, Chapter 41: The First Dragons.
Ello love, 'Ere to see 'ore ov this 'ere tale are ya?
Thankies too:
UltimateCCC: Yup! been a hell of a ride huh…
The tacticians sat patiently around a small round table opposite the side of a certain hylian princess who looked over some clipboards. She took in a deep breath before setting aside the clipboard and clicked her tongue. "Of course how could I have not seen it before!" She says while the silver haired twins turn to look at one another.
"What's wrong?" Raven asked, slightly concerned.
"Well seeing what I got back from Dr. Mario and your overall experiences we could only conclude that your symptoms aren't anything magically induced, nor the work of some evil force. Short answer is…" Zelda says while they both lean in attentively. "I'm afraid the both of you are suffering from a mild case of PTSD." Zelda informs them.
"What? that's it!" Raven says puzzled, "surely there's something more to it?" She argued. Zelda just shakes her head slowly before she rubs her temples.
"The signs were all there but we just ignored them," The hylian explained.
"Such as?" Robin spoke up.
"Well think about it, because of your loss of memory you both were literally born into war. Since the moment you woke up and offered your assistance to Chrom you both have known nothing but war. And now the horrors of that war are all the memories you carry with you, you can't expect someone who has dealt with everything you both have to have a fairytale ending where it all works out in the end. I mean as far as we all know you both literally died to protect your loved ones, that's not something someone just gets over." Zelda informed the pair.
"I suppose that makes sense, truth be told we were a bit too focused on either matches or chasing an illusion." Robin admits while leaning back in his seat.
"The signs were all there since the beginning, the nightmares, how you both prefer being alone and isolated from others, or worse yet blocking and or hiding any and all emotions" she says as she turns to Robin who lowered his gaze, "you both barely partake in any activities that go around. Not to mention Raven, you tend to be a little too hostile at times, I read the incident report concerning your trip to the supermarket. I mean there barely is a day that goes by without either of you being agitated." Zelda adds.
"Hey, that supermarket incident was not my fault!" Raven began while Zelda gave her a look, "he called me grandma ok!" Raven blurts out while Zelda rolled her eyes.
"The both of you were too busy looking into preventing Grimas return. Whereas I have had my mind far too occupied with matters concerning the six, such as the weird occurrences that keep happening and most recently a mystery involving the disappearances of smash items from a secure storage, and now that whole fiasco with Dark Link that we completely overlooked everything when the answer was right in our face." Zelda says sliding the clipboards across the table towards the tacticians.
"So… We're just messed up in the head is all?" Raven pouts while crossing her arms.
"Well not exactly, you're both still stable and can function somewhat normally in society. I mean going around and hacking enemies and or blasting someone to smithereens might sound fun on paper, however that is far from the truth in emotions concerning an actual battle. So it is highly recommended that you seek professional help to deal with your internal dilemma." Zelda says, handing them both a little card. "You wouldn't be the first, for example we had to have Lucas go in for some treatment as well as he was in a really bad spot when he arrived."
"Yeah we heard, poor kid!" Raven mumbled while looking over the card.
"I know how this might seem and it raises more questions than it does answer them nevertheless once again you're not the only ones. You don't need to go at it alone, there are others you can turn to to help cope with the issues you face. You'd be surprised about the ways smashers have come to cope with internal issues, take Ike for example!" Zelda begins, "he started by eating to cope with the whole thing that happened with his father, however that is highly unrecommended. However after some help and being pointed in the right direction he got into cooking, cooking chicken specifically and now he's efficiently able to cook a chicken in over 200 different ways, even ways that still baffle us."
"Huh, that explains his chick-getti and chick-balls…" Robin remarked while looking in thought.
"Hold up, what?" Raven blurts.
"He once made spaghetti noodles out of ground chicken, and of course the meatballs." Robin explained while looking in thought.
"Regardless I suggest you both find something other than the end of the world to focus on, otherwise you're just going to keep going in loops around your dilemma." Zelda adds.
"Also speaking of which, what happened with that whole Dark Link thing? There's rumors going around but they seem to sound really far-fetched." Raven asks shortly after.
"Well I normally wouldn't say, however with the incident involving some close to you I guess it's only fair I inform you. But you should know Dark Link has been promptly dealt with and he's now the second ever lucky contestant to enter the 'toy box' prison. And while DTL is still on the run he won't get far he will be promptly apprehended and dealt with accordingly…"
*unknown*
Dark Link opens his eyes slowly while groaning to himself trying to get a look at his surroundings. He was some sort of large dim room only illuminated by small twinkling lights scattered about. The floor and walls were all cushioned like a room at a mental institute would look. Dark Link gets up from the floor and he immediately hears shuffling all around him. "Who's there!?" He shouts in a demanding tone just before a really bright stage light turns on from up above him. He briefly covered his eyes while they now adjusted to the new blinding light, he was surrounded by hundreds of what appeared to be badly stitched together dolls, some had missing button eyes and others had straw protruding out of them. They all seemed to be circling him while giggles and chatters of what sounded like very small children filled the air. "You think I'm afraid of you!? Show yourself coward!" He calls out knowing that where there were puppets, the puppet master wouldn't be too far behind. It all becomes clear when he hears maniacal cackling fill the air and he sees a giant mass crawling along the ceiling.
"A new toy! All to MYSELF!" The disembodied hand called out very excitedly while all the little dolls giggled and laughed all around him. Now that he got a better look at them they were all modeled after certain smashers all new and old and even one's no longer present. A Link doll approaches him and he takes out his sword and cuts the doll in half. All the other ones begin to giggle at him and the Link doll's upper half stands on its hands and resumes coming near him. A Young Link doll jumps on his back and he grabs it and throws it into the crowd. Crazy was crawling along the wall at rapid speeds while he himself giggled like a child and the thumping of his large fingers echoed the room. A Captain Falcon doll grabbed Dark Link's arm and he plunged his sword into its abdomen and got stuck on it, the doll fell backwards and disappeared into the crowd leaving the dark hylian weaponless.
"Get off me!" He shouts angrily as they begin to pile on him and he tries unsuccessfully to kick and punch them away but they begin to cling unto his limbs immobilizing him. "GET. OFF. ME!" He tries his hardest to thrash about in their hold until a Pichu doll latches itself onto his face. "ARRRRRGH!" He yells out angrily as he falls to the floor with the dolls still piling on him with only his hand sticking out of the pile and twitching. Crazy begins hopping around excitedly making the whole room shake.
*back with the trio*
Robin whistled while he and Raven heard the whole story and of course the punishment that followed. "I'd hate to be him right now…" Raven says.
"Yeah the worst part is that Master Hand gives all the sweets Crazy could ever want while he's locked in there. So Crazy will never tire out and he won't ever get bored tormenting whichever unfortunate soul finds themselves locked in there. Believe me Crazy never runs out of ideas on how to 'play' with his toys." Zelda finished and stood from her chair. "Now if you excuse me, I have to meet with Samus and run inventory with her" she says before promptly walking out.
"Well that's a lot to take in isn't it." Robin says.
"Which part specifically, finding out we have some screws loose or the fact the Dark Link set up a long elaborate plan into motion in order to make Dark Pit more of an arse again?" Raven asked.
"Still doesn't make sense to me, Dark Pit isn't exactly smasher of the year or anything." Robin states, he was right afterall that award is almost always won by Kirby since he is always a 'model' smasher, besides eating something he wasn't supposed to he never causes any problems.
"Yeah well apparently Dark Link felt that Lucina had softened him up a bit too much, and feared that he'd lose his only friend or at the very least the only person able to tolerate him." Raven says with a shrug of her shoulders. "And Zelda says we need a new hobby…" she adds.
"How is Lucina by the way?" Robin asked while staring off into space.
"She's fine no harm came to her as far as I know, however…"
*infirmary*
Dark Pit groaned to himself before he winced in pain, he felt completely numb and worse yet he was running a high fever. Probably not the best idea to go out into a cold stormy night and roll around in the mud. He looks around to find himself in one of the infirmary beds, beside his bed sat his partner fast asleep as indicated by her rhythmic breathing. He pushed his blankets off himself as he felt like he was in an oven, he wanted to get up but was completely unable to move.
"Ah good, you're-a up!" Dr. Mario says parting the curtain and walking up to the dark angel, he gets on a little stepping stool and places the back of his hand on the dark angel's forehead. "Still-a running a fever I-a see" he says and jots something down on a clipboard he was holding.
"How long was I out doc?" He groans while trying to sit up.
"Don't-a bother getting up-a you can't-a go anywhere in-a your condition, you've-a been in-a here for almost-a two days! But don't-a worry we'll-a have you out-a here in-a no time." The doctor tells him
"And… That?" He says motioning over towards the blunette with his head.
"She's been-a here since-a you arrived, she-a refused to-a leave your-a side believe-a me I tried." The doc responds, rubbing a bruise on his nose with a frown on his face. Dark Pit just chuckled to himself and slowly shook his head, he didn't think she had it in her. "Two days…" He thought to himself, surely by now he must have been the gossip of the mansion. It slightly worried him as things get to be overexaggerated around here. He's probably going to be paraded around like a hero now, he's no doubt become the very thing he loathed. The typical hero saving a damsel in distress, no doubt the other villains will be displeased with his actions and out him from the group. He'll never hear the end of it from Pit and Palutena as they always claimed he had good in him and whatnot. "Why is it so damn hot in here!?" He exclaimed mentally as he began panting he could feel his hospital gown getting drenched in sweat.
That is until he felt something cool on his forehead. His partner was up and had put a nice damp cloth on his head and right now it was about the best feeling in the world to him. He settled back into the bed after getting comfortable again, no words were exchanged he just closed his eyes and relaxed as much as could. He still had so many questions and no doubt about it she must have had about a dozen of her own she wanted to throw his way. "L-look…" He began with a shaky breath but she just gripped him tightly into a hug which completely surprised him.
"Don't you dare ever do something like that again!" She exclaimed and slapped him across the face stunning him. Just before she embraced him again in a tight hug and he just laid there dumbfounded. "You had me so worried when you didn't wake up the next day!" She mumbled and eventually he just smiled gently and patted her on the back slowly.
"Alright Blue, I promise I won't do that again…" He chuckled.
*meanwhile*
Slam!
"I got you now you little prick!" Samus says after having slammed her hands on the table. She smirked and despite the saying that Samus would look more friendly and approachable with a smile on her face, well right now that would be the furthest from the truth as it somehow made her more intimidating.
"Y-you got nothing" Roy says nervously while she chuckles to herself and paces around the table. She throws an envelope at him and he nervously reaches for it and opens it up.
"Pffft, that's it!? A tomato slice is your entire case!" Roy chimes and snickers. "Come on Samus I thought your detective skills might've improved since our tangles in Melee." He adds. She walks behind him calmly before grabbing a fistful of his hair and slamming his head on the table. "Ow it was a joke!" He says in a half whine while rubbing his forehead which had a small bruise on it now, the table he was being interrogated at was solid metal after all. She grabs the tomato in the plastic bag and shoves it in his hands.
"Eat it!" She demands.
"Wha?"
"You heard me, I said eat it" she repeats. "What's wrong Roy?" She says and smirks again while he nervously swallows, "I have nothing right? Well if that's true you will have no problem eating that which I conveniently found in your room's minifridge. Oh! And look at this on the list of missing items it just so happens that maximum tomatoes are among the missing items!" She states and puts a tablet with all the info right in front of him.
"Oh Samus that can be easily explained, have you met my partner? Dude is a fitness nut and I mean look at him he's got muscles on his muscles, every morning he starts by blending a bunch of vegetables and calling that breakfast. You just so happened to have found one of his leftover ingredients." He states nonchalantly.
"Then eat it!" She says again.
"I really rather not, I'm more of a carnivore myself…" He says with a shrug.
"Roy you either eat it willingly or I shove it down your throat" Samus warns while resting her hand on the table next to him. "So what's it going to be?"
"Can I at least get some cheese whiz or something to put on it? Nobody likes raw tomatoes. And if you do then I could only conclude that your taste buds are dead." He says looking down at the thing with a shriveled look. However she knew she had him right where she wanted him. As soon as he ate it and healed the bruise on his head she had everything she needed to bring him down. Roy took the thing out of the plastic bag and dangled it in front of his face with a disapproving look. Samus motioned him to continue with her hand and he opens his mouth and dangles the thing over it. He dropped it in and gagged a little before it went down the hatch, for extra measure he even showed her that it was gone.
"Now we play the waiting game," she says, taking her seat across from him again. That is until the door burst open and Zelda and Marth stepped in.
"Samus I'm afraid you're going to have to let him go, you know the rules we can't hold anyone captive just based on suspicion." Marth says.
"It's not and I'm about to prove it, watch" She says motioning towards the redhead.
"Is… Is that a bruise?" Zelda asked, taking Roy's head into her hands to get a look at him in the light.
"Samus you know Master Hand has already made his displeasure clear about hurting others because of personal interest." Marth adds while crossing his arms.
"It's not personal" she fires back.
"So you're saying, him painting your armor pink a day ago isn't still in your mind?" He replied and she crossed her arms.
"That's beside the point, however I did find incriminating evidence in his room which he promptly ate and will prove my point now that his bruise is healed." She says motioning towards him with her head.
"Nope that bruise is still there" Zelda states, still looking him over, whatever he ate did nothing.
"That's not possible!" Samus states before taking out a small icebox and taking out more plastic bags with tomatoes in them. "Don't think I don't know your dirty tricks by now, one of these will do" she says, placing several packets on the table.
"Haven't I been tortured enough!?" Roy cries.
"Samus give it up before you give him more power to make fools of us!" Zelda says sternly while gathering up all the little packages and tossing them back in the ice box.
"You don't get it, of course he'd know we'd catch on eventually to his shenanigan's and mix in regular tomatoes into his stash." Samus says taking one out, "if he's really innocent he won't have a problem trying another, knowing him there's a 50/50 chance one of these isn't a regular tomato!" Samus challenges him. Roy just chuckled and grabbed a few out of the ice box.
"I'll do you one better, and if you're wrong you all owe me a steak dinner for this taste torture." Roy says with a chuckle, he then stood from his seat and slammed Marth's face into the table.
"Roy! What in the-" he began before the redhead just shoved two bags of tomatoes in his arms.
"Here eat these and if your headache goes away then grumpy here is right." Roy states, motioning towards the blonde with his head.
"Roy you don't-" Marth began.
"Just humor me will you!" Roy says taking another tomato and once again painfully and slowly eating the thing. Marth just sighs and gives in completely knowing this was a terrible idea and it could devastatingly backfire. He eats both tomatoes as agreed and nothing happened to either of them, his head still throbbing.
"Don't know how much credibility you'll give me but my head still aches" Marth admits while turning to give Roy a look. Samus looked lost for a bit before she scooped up her tablet.
"No matter, I still have evidence of missing items coordinating with his shenanigans," she says but Marth holds up his hand.
"Actually that was a glitch in the system, check yourself all the so called missing items were returned and accounted for and the system corrected itself this morning." Marth assured her but she still wasn't buying it.
"Then explain this image I captured last week!" She says handing the tablet over to Marth who looked it over while Roy leaned over his shoulder to look. "That is clearly this prick coming out of the secure storage holding what appears to be stolen items."
"While I'd say it still isn't enough it doesn't matter as much, R.O.B told me of it and I had him unblur the picture and color correct it and it turned out your culprit here was none other than our good friend Dark Link. And well since we already apprehended him I guess our job here is done." Marth states while showing a different image to her on his phone before pocketing it. "So I'm afraid this guy goes free, and Peach said she'd appreciate it if we'd return her tomato slices to her." Marth says taking the ice box and grabbing Roy by the arm and walking out.
"Marth won't always be there to protect you" Samus says before they leave. "If no items were missing then what about what Dark Link took?" Samus asked.
"I returned it all the day he was apprehended, I personally did a thorough sweep of his room that day." Zelda informed her.
Marth and Roy walked for a bit before Marth pulled him into a utility closet. "Are you insane!? You almost gave everything away and caused a major issue!" Marth says harshly.
"Relax man I had that whole thing under control the whole time, see that regular tomatoes are in these little red bags here while the blue bags had the maximum, I made sure we only ate the reds and it was a miracle Samus pulled out a red the first time." Roy says, taking out a blue bag and shaking it around while snickering to himself. Just for show he ate it and the bruise on his head was gone. "See nothing to worry about!" He says with a sly smile while Marth gives him a flat look.
"I only allowed you into the secure vault to procure some items for me, some not to go on a spree. Do you have any idea what I had to do to get you out of that situation? I fabricated a fake image and had R.O.B 'fix' it so that there could be some legitimacy behind it. You're also lucky I got into the room before Zelda or Samus and took your stash of items and planted them under Dark Link's bed. Not to mention rewrite the system to exclude some of the items that we obviously can't recuperate!" Marth explained.
"Awh Marth I didn't know you cared so much!" Roy replied.
"Don't flatter yourself. I did what I had to because I know if you incriminate yourself It wouldn't take Samus much effort to know I had some hand in it. Now I know you made a copy of my card and I want you to hand it over. I'm stopping this little charade today." He says sternly while Roy sighed and handed him the fake card. Marth took it and shoved it into a shredder conveniently in the back of the room. "Speaking of incriminating oneself…" Marth adds and grabs a mop from the back of the room before promptly breaking it over Roys head.
"Ow, dude I get it!" He whines, rubbing his head.
"You do realize that if your bruises suddenly disappeared Samus would no doubt crack down hard on you again." Marth explained while slowly shaking his head, luckily the mop handle was enough to bruise him again, well sort of.
"I guess this is a bad time to tell you that Link was also involved?" Roy says sheepishly while tapping his index fingers together.
"Of course he was…" Marth says, sliding his hand down his face painfully slow. Just before the door to the closet opened and Ike was standing there with a raised brow.
"Erm, am I interrupting something?" He asked.
"No, I actually need to go find Link now" Marth states and walks off while shaking his head and grumbling to himself.
"What's going on here?" Ike says placing his hands on his hips.
"Wouldn't you like to know" Roy replies while mimicking the mercenary.
"As a matter of fact I would!" Ike states and crosses his arms now.
"Can't sorry, it's only a need to know for the secret closet club, yeah that's right I'm in fancy exclusive clubs too!" Roy says while Ike stood there for a moment before dropping his arms to his side.
"Can I join?" Ike says while Roy thought it over.
"Eh why not come on in!" He says while Ike fist bumps and walks in.
"So what's on the agenda for the secret closet club?" Ike says in a hushed voice. Roy was about to speak before he held up a finger and then poked his head out the door and looked both ways making sure the coast was clear. When he was sure it was safe he went back in and closed the door.
"How would you like to run a food heist?" Roy says while Ike rubbed his hands together in anticipation.
"I'm in!" He says licking his lips as the thought of food enters his mind. Although in the back of his mind he had the feeling that he was forgetting something.
*Meanwhile*
Luigi was walking down a hall and whistling to himself on his way to open his snack stand before he suddenly slipped on a random puddle and fell on his rear. "What the?" He says while slowly getting up and rubbing his rear slowly.
"Hey Luigi, how about some nachos eh?" Shulk says while coming down the hall before he too falls on his rear.
"Yo weegee I needz me some gummies!" Toon Link appears and comes towards them before slipping on the puddle and falling on his face. "What the freak!?" He exclaimed shortly after. King Dedede comes waltzing down the hall moments later as well, unaware and ignorant of said puddle.
"Did someone say kettle chips!" He bellows while hungrily walking forward before he slips and falls straight on his back. "What's the big idea!" He shouts while shaking his fist in the air while flat on his back. Just then Master Hand himself came walking down shortly thereafter.
"I think I've earned myself some dark chocolate this week, afterall why not I've been doing such a banger job!" He says excitedly to himself rubbing his hands together completely oblivious to the others on the floor and of course the puddle. He too falls victim and falls down on his rear.
"Oof!" He blurts out as he falls, "what the… TOON!" He shouts angrily.
"Hey don't look at me pal I'm right here too!" The little hylian states and crosses his arms.
"Ah I see… Ahem, ROOOOY!" He shouts afterwards while shaking his fist.
"Yeah this couldn't be him either Samus dragged him away earlier by force, so it must have been serious…" Shulk chimes in.
"Then, who the blazes whizzed on the floor!?" MH demanded before they all just started arguing with one another and pointing fingers. Just then Ike rounds the corner down the hall while holding a broken mop in hand. He saw the commotion and just slowly backed away before he turned and ran the other way.
*later*
"Come on Pittoo just one more bite, you're never going to get better if you don't eat..." Pit says while pressing a spoon against Pittoo's lips full of chicken soup. The dark angel just replies by angrily humming at his light counterpart, knowing that Pit would waste no opportunity to shove a spoonful in again should he open his mouth in any way. Being sick already made everything taste bland and dull but now he was being forced to eat 'chicken' to feel better. Apparently mixing certain herbs with fake chicken made it taste like an old boot that's been boiled. Apparently though no one else tasted it because it was only made for him. If only he could get Pit to see that he could hopefully end his torment. He roughly grips Pit's arm with what little strength he had and moves the spoon towards him.
"If it's so good then why don't you have some," Pittoo says through gritted teeth.
"Oh I couldn't do that, sure I'm a little hungry but it'd be unethical to eat your food" Pit replied plainly.
"Just try some!" Pittoo hissed at him while Pit reeled back a little.
"Ok, ok! sheesh!" Pit replied before looking down at the bowl and sloshing the liquid around a bit, he just shrugged and took a sip from the bowl. "Awh! AH! AWH! AWE! AHEW!" He exclaimed in disgust and ran to the back of the room and turned on a faucet and stuck his tongue under the water. Pittoo just sighed in relief and relaxed back into his bed, hopefully now he wouldn't be forced to finish that contraption. "What is that!? It tastes like old socks!" Pit cries while he licks a napkin.
"Well, not everything that's good for you has the luxury to also taste good!" Peach says as she walks into the room in her nurse's uniform. "I made that with some medicinal herbs as per request of Dr. Mario, which brings up the question as to why you're eating his soup?" She says while poking the angel with a utensil.
"I uh… Uh… Er… I... It smelled good…?" Pit blurted out and smiled sheepishly.
"It smells like a sewer!" Pittoo remarked mentally.
"Oh Pit don't worry lunch will be done in a few, I just need to check him real quick and i'll begin serving the food alright." She says while heading over towards Pittoo to check some things and jot stuff down on a clipboard. "So, how are you feeling now?" She asked while sticking a thermometer into his mouth.
"If you really want to help me you'll grab that pillow and put me out of my misery!" He mumbled while she just chuckled and waved him off.
"Well you'll be better in no time, now you make sure he finishes his soup or he'll never get better. And if he doesn't I can always just shove a tube down your throat and feed you that way." Peach says while pointing at Pit before turning back to Pittoo. "Alright then have fun you two!" She says before heading out but not before giving the angels another stern look. Pit just sighs and picks up the bowl of soup again and calmly walks over.
"Well you heard the doc… Er nurse!" He says and dips the spoon in while Pittoo grips the handle bars next to his bed in an attempt to escape. "Here comes the little angel" he says while moving the spoon towards his dark counterpart. Before he could force him to eat more of that goop the door opens again.
"When will this end!?" Pittoo exclaimed mentally. But to his relief it was just Lucina. She had left a while back claiming she had something to take care of and made the mistake of leaving Pit to look over his dark twin.
"Oh hey you're back!" Pit says placing the bowl on the counter making Pittoo sigh in relief.
"Yeah, sorry for the delay. I got caught up in a few more things than I'd thought. What going on?" She says while removing her coat and tossing her belongings into a empty chair.
"Oh well we got some soup to help him feel better, specifically made for him." Pit says cheerfully while motioning towards the bowl of goop.
"He's lying, he's trying to poison me!" Pittoo groaned.
"Ah he's just being poopy about it" Pit waved him off and picked up the bowl again. Pittoo however was once again trying to get off the bed, if he could dump that so-called soup all over the angel's face he would. Lucina just clears her throat and moves the angel away from his agitated counterpart.
"Erm Pit, actually I have a very important task for you!" Lucina tells him while taking the bowl away from him.
"But Peach said I have to make sure he eats his soup… And she scares me a little…" Pit replied while slowly rubbing his arm.
"You let me worry about Peach, now how would you like to do something to help that's exciting and more heroic than just soup!" She tells him enthusiastically.
"I'm listening…" He says.
"Right here I need you to go to these specific shops around town and pick me up these specific items." She says handing him a little list and some money, "and here's a little extra to pick yourself up something in return I hear each one has very exotic and exciting snacks!" She adds while taking more money out of her wallet and handing it over to him.
"How would this help exactly?" He asked skeptically.
"Oh it'll allow me to make him a healing potion that'll fix him up in no time," she assured the angel.
"Well if you say so, don't worry Pittoo I'll be back in a jiffy I won't let you down!" He says before running out of the infirmary and running up the stairs. He opens up a window on the 2and floor and flies out of it at tremendous speeds while humming his theme to himself. He flew higher while enjoying the breeze going through his hair, he'll be back in no time and his flight will help him achieve that goal. That is… Until he got a certain distance away and the blue glow from his wings suddenly disappeared and he began plummeting back to the ground. "AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screams at the top of his lungs, "HELP ME LADY PALUTENA!" He screams in horror as he watches the ground get closer and closer. He never figured he'd die this way; he always thought it would be in a glorious battle or defending his goddess to his last breath… Or at least something that was more honorable than his just going Splat! Just before he did hit the ground however he is hit by a speeding bus and splatters on the windshield in an explosion of feathers with his face completely mushed onto the glass.
"Gross!" C. Falcon says and turns on the windshield wipers "darn birds…" He grumbles to himself…
"Thanks for that, I thought he'd never leave!" Pittoo says while adjusting himself on his bed.
"Oh don't be like that he just wants to help" Lucina says while sitting on the edge of his bed.
"Oh don't let his 'innocent' facade fool you now, he'd never pass up the opportunity to torment me!" He replied.
"Ok now you're just being dramatic" she says and crosses her arms.
"Whatever shut the curtain will you I want to take another nap before he comes back to torture me." He says before she smirks.
"Actually you still need to finish your soup mister" she says while he turns to her with a look of disbelief.
"You're with them!" He says looking disappointed.
"Oh will you stop, look I'll let you in on a little secret when I went away I actually managed to slip something 'helpful' into your soup. However since it was boiled it might take a while longer to kick in than usual." She says while he just smirks.
"Now how did you get away with that I wonder?" He asked while she just smiled.
"I called in a few favors" she said while he chuckled, "now i'm sorry to say but you still need to eat that, however I brought you this special soup straw that'll help you not taste it as much. Plus a bonus this is some strong cinnamon gum that'll get rid of any unpleasant flavors." She says handing him a small pack.
"Ugh, fine, hand me the toilet water soup!" he groaned and she picked it up and stuck a straw into it and handed it to him.
*the toy box*
Dark Link was on the floor of the room panting hard, he had no idea how long he'd been there or where he even was anymore. After all the unimaginable things this demented disembodied hand had done to him he's surprised there was still some sanity within him.
"Do something fun again!" The Hand said in a high pitched giddy voice while clapping to himself. He was sitting in the corner of the room on a pile of destroyed dolls. Dark Link set them all on fire a while back but Crazy just kept using the mangled and burned dolls to torment him until there was nothing left to use. Crazy Hand just took it all as them playing a fun new game.
"Bite… Me…" Dark Link breathed out through gritted teeth. His clothes were tathered burned and ripped by now and hung loosely on his body like old rags. One of his legs was facing the wrong way when Crazy decided to twist all his limbs around for fun and he forgot to twist one of his legs back.
"Boring!" Crazy yawned and then took out a sparkling wand that looked like Rosalina's. He tapped Dark Link on the nose with it and even added his own effect. "Boop!" He says while Dark Link looked around and himself to see what the thing had done to him now. Moments later Dark Link literally turned inside out and he could feel every nerve in his body feel like it was on fire. He yells out in pain while looking down horrified at what he was seeing. "Oopsie I did it again!" Crazy says with a giggle and reverts the hylian back to his normal self. He taps the hylian again and turns his head into an anvil that squishes the rest of his body, he taps again and turns his arms into snakes that start biting the hylian. Before the Hand could torment him further a large hidden door in the back opens upwards flooding the room with a new blinding light. The wand makes a long flatulence noise and then goes limp, several floating objects fall to ground as well as apparently the door opening severed the magic of the room. He saw a long shadow begin to walk towards him in the center of the room, he sat there with a hand over his eyes as the bright light hurt his eyes that got used to the dim room.
"*whistle* here boy fetch!" They say and toss a large pack towards the back of the room. Crazy flies off the floor and races over towards it at lightning fast speeds.
"Candy!" He exclaimed and as he tore open the bag sending little sweets scattering everywhere.
"Finally what took you so long" Dark Link says as he slowly makes his way up from the floor.
"Don't get your hopes up pal, I'm not here to set you free however I just bought you 2 minutes." She says while they looked at crazy in the corner smacking on some candy with his dramatic chewing.
"Why the hell not! Haven't you people done enough for me!?" He says angrily.
"I might be able to get you into a normal cell but first I need some information." She says while walking around him, he could see now that she moved away from the light that it was Samus.
"What do you want to know?" He says with a deep sigh, he didn't care anymore he'd tell them anything if it meant he could get out of this hellhole.
"All the items confiscated from your room" she begins but he just gives her a puzzled look. "I want to know, how did you get into a secure vault and steal all those stage items so easily?" She asks while he just scoffed.
"What are you guys trying to blame more things on me!?" He says in a huff while she looks in thought for a bit.
"So you're saying all those items found under your bed conveniently weren't yours?" She asked.
"I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, I didn't take anything and I won't take any more blame for any bullcrap you guys come up with. Last time I made a deal with you, pricks I ended up here with that bastard!" He says angrily while pointing at Crazy still chewing obnoxiously loud.
"Hmm I thought as much" she says while thinking to herself.
"Oh what, you believe me?" He said somewhat surprised.
"Oh don't worry it's not you I'm after, I have another target in mind whos got what's coming to them." She says while she jots some things on her tablet. "One more thing and I need you to be honest with me, I want to know how you figured out how to bypass Master Hands barrier and use magic within the premises?" She asked him and he looked perplexed about his answer. "Alright then let me make it simple for you, was it anyone who likes to sit with your friend Link at his table?" She asked while crossing her arms.
"No…" He says simply.
"Hmm that's a shame, I thought I had more than I did." She says while looking things over. "Well you've been helpful, you'll hear from us soon till then have fun." She says as she turned and walked away while waving back at him.
"What that's it!? I thought we had a deal!" He shouts angrily. He rushes towards the door but it closes before he can reach it. "We had a deal!" He says while angrily pounding the door, well wall now as all traces of there ever being a door disappeared.
"Tooooooooy!" He hears Crazy Hand call out and he could hear the loud thumping of his fingers as he crawled around all over the room, his 'hyper' drive was just refueled. He feels crawling up his leg only to see a smaller left hand crawling up his leg. He just stares at it for a bit before it latches on to his face and he falls to the floor and thrashes around trying to pry it off to no avail.
*in the city*
*bing* "Next stop the smash city central plaza!" A woman's voice over the train's systems says as it comes to a halt. Pit stumbles out of the train along with all the other passengers onto the station. He was still a little lightheaded after the nasty fall he took earlier, luckily though he ran into a group going grocery shopping for the evening. He also got a heavy jacket and baseball cap from them so he could conceal himself. They took him about halfway to the city before dropping him off and heading to the outskirts towards the grand supermarket. So he took the train that ran through the city instead of a bus or taxi, it was traffic hour after all and things were moving slow.
"Now which way did Lucina say?" He says taking out a crumpled piece of paper and looking at the store names scribbled on the list. He looked left then he looked right and realised he was completely lost, and then he wished he could just be back at the mansion on familiar grounds.
"Poyo!" His backpack says shortly after and he goes stiff, he removes it and walks out of sight into some bushes and unzips it. He sees the pink puffball sitting in there and he yawns and rubs his eyes. Apparently the little guy took a nap in the bag and he could see why, there were mini pie wrappers littered at the bottom. Pit goes a little pale and realizes he could get into a lot of trouble if anyone found out he sneaked Kirby out of the mansion, there are strict rules that Kirby and Jigglypuff are not allowed outside the mansion walls. Firstly because they stick out like a mega sore thumb and secondly, they can be a little unpredictable. That and when Ike snuck Jiggly out once he was punished by being locked in the auditorium with Jiggly for 8 hours straight, 8 hours of him having to listen to her sing then vandalize his face and or beat the crap out of him for falling asleep. So who knows what they'll do to him. Pit just held a finger to his lips and then quickly zipped up the bag.
"Ok buddy listen I need to run a few errands real quick so i'm going to need you to stay in there for me ok pal!" Pit says and then puts his backpack back on.
"Poyo!" Kirby replied and Pit could feel him shuffling around in there.
"What're…" Pit says before his eyes go wide when he hears Kirby begin to inhale. "Wait Kirby no!" He says but it was too late the backpack rips off his back as Kiby swallows it whole. He then hears Kirby's transformation sound and sees a pink backpack with little arms and Kirby's face sitting on the floor. "Well I guess as long as I can still keep my eye on you it'll be fine." He says picking up the Kirby-pack and putting it on.
"Poyo!" Kirby says cheerfully. Just before he spotted a hotdog cart and started to drool. "Poyo!" He calls out and Pit turns around seeing him point at the hotdog stand.
"Not right now we don't have time" Pit says and walks away. Kirby however tries to push him back and they struggle to move in either direction as they both push away from the other. That is until Kirby made himself substantially heavier and made Pit fall backwards onto his rear. "Kirby I don't have money for hotdogs. I didn't bring my wallet, I just brought what Lucina gave me and I promised I'd get her the ingredients for the potion." He protests while Kirby looked in thought then he smiled and reached into one of his side pockets.
"Poyo!" Kirby says excitedly while handing him a little small pink wallet with a gold star on it.
"What's this your wallet?" He says opening it up and seeing Kirby's smash fund card in there. "Well we got to check your balance first" Pit says, taking out his phone and opening a smash fund app. He scans the back of Kirby's card and his eyes nearly pop out of his head, the little puffball was loaded. With all those funds he could quite literally afford his own Smash Mansion. It made sense though as he wasn't allowed into town so he never got to go out and buy anything, and the only thing he ever orders online is snack boxes, which really wouldn't put a damp in anyone's wallet if that's all they bought. "Well I guess let's get you your hotdog!" Pit says enthusiastically and gets up off the ground.
"Poyo!" Kirby cheers waving his little stubby arms around. Pit walks up to the guy selling who was reading a newspaper with the title: "Do Smashers secretly walk among us?" And a badly zoomed in picture of Lucina and Dark Pit in their disguises.
"Erm excuse me, how much for a hotdog?" Pit asked while the guy folded his newspaper and stood up from the bench.
"Two bucks," he says, holding up two fingers. "Toppings are all free, and you get a free drink if you buy two."
"Ok that's fine, Alright buddy what do you want on it?" Pit says while turning around and letting Kirby see the cart while the guy just stared at Kirby perplexed at what he was seeing.
"Poyo!" Kirby says with his arms stretched out.
"Err… What?" The guy asked, puzzled while scratching his head. Kirby responded by inhaling and everything came flying out of the cart buns, topping, franks, and condiments into the little puffballs gaping mouth. He burps satisfied and hands the vendor his card, the guy just stared at them completely lost while swiping Kirby's card.
"Woah, hey you guys just made me an entire month's salary in one go, hey you guys are welcomed back anytime ya hear!" They guy said with a big smile on his face. Pit then turns around and rubs the back of his head.
"A-actually I wanted to ask, you said we'd get a free drink if we'd get two, and uh I am kinda thirsty and my friend did eat like 200 give or take." Pit asked shyly.
"Oh sure! I'll do you one better since you've been such good business I grant you two free drinks for life how 'bout that mister!" He says while taking two sodas out of a little ice box and handing them to Pit.
"Oh gee thanks sir!" Pit says before walking away and taking a big gulp of his drink and handing one to Kirby. As soon as they leave a short blue thing wearing a trenchcoat and sunglasses and a large cowboy hat walks up two the vendor.
"I'll have the usual, the chili dog combo with extra chili" the blue thing says while slapping his card on the cart.
"Oh I'm sorry to say and I'd hate to do this to ya seeing as you're one of my regulars, but some kid with a living backpack just came and bought all my hotdogs… err that also included all the toppings. The blue thing just stands there for a minute before standing atop the cart and grabbing the guy by the shirt.
"You don't understand man, I need my chilidogs man! I'm starting to get chili dog withdrawals!" He says shaking the guy back and forth making his sunglasses fall off revealing it to be Sonic.
"Look buddy you can go to my pal Frank, he's on the other side of the Plaza he sells terrific Child dogs I swear!" The guy blurts out, Sonic thinks for a moment before letting the man go and picking up his sunglasses.
"Next time, you have my chili dogs ready, I don't like waiting…" Sonic says in a deep raspy voice while putting his glasses back on and slowly walks away. And sure enough every now and then his hands would visibly shake and he would twitch a little, he really was suffering from chilidog withdrawal.
*Meanwhile In Master Hand's office*
The gloved being was pacing back and forth behind his desk impatiently being visibly flustered. "You called?" A calm and cool voice says as Meta Knight suddenly appears on his desk.
"Oh there you are, please tell me you've seen Kirby. I searched just about everywhere and I couldn't find him!" MH says as he continues to pace back and forth.
"No, Last I saw of him was this morning at breakfast" MK replies while MH bangs his head on his table.
"Damn it all!" He says and slumps down in his seat. "This can only mean one thing."
"I actually have a tracker on his cellular device" MK says while holding out his hand and taking out his phone with the other. "Hm weird, he appears to be right in the middle of town, the Smash City central plaza to be exact.
"Then it is as I feared! We must get him back here immediately, Kirby can eat literally anything out there that could lead to a catastrophe and we really don't need that kind of publicity right now." MH says while tapping his fingers on his desk impatiently.
"I can return him here at once, without any hassle of course no one will be aware of any blunders of our little pink friend." MK offers while wrapping his cape over himself and his eyes glow slightly with anticipation. It's been a while since he's been on any sort of quest and he really felt like he needed to stretch his wings.
"Very well you may do so" MH says plainly while pointing at the armored puffball. His bright eyes lit up slightly more as he cleared his throat.
"I must ask for a single request however if I am to complete this task swiftly and quietly." He speaks while Master Hand motioned him to continue, "I request that you allow me the use of my powers outside the mansion." He says while MH leans back his chair while he hummed in thought.
"I suppose I can grant you your request, after all I can trust you to use them responsibly." MH replies and swirls his hand around and throws a dark purple mist towards Meta Knight. "Remember no shenanigans, I don't want any publicity about this endeavor!" MH says firmly.
"As you wish," MK replies before teleporting out of the room with his dimensional cape.
"I swear if Ike snuck another puffball out…" MH says while shaking his head.
MK appears on the roof and looks towards the city while taking out his phone and speed dialing Kirby. First things first he needed to figure out if Kirby went out on his own will or if he was taken hostage.
*back in the city*
After getting some directions from a kind stranger Pit was finally able to make it to his first destination, he ended up buying what looked like a giant grape from the store. He also bought a few snacks for himself and Kirby, surprisingly though and thankfully Kirby didn't inhale the whole store. Maybe those 200 hotdogs slowed his hunger down just enough to where he didn't feel like inhaling everything. "Thank you!" Pit waves to the store clerk as they head out he places his items into the Kirby-pack he still functioned like a backpack ironically, and he fed the puffball some of his snacks and kept some just in case. As they walked down a few paces Kirby's phone began to ring and MK's theme could be heard blaring from it. He took it out from his side pocket and looked at the screen, seeing MKs picture on it with the pickup and decline buttons.
"Poyo!" Kirby answers the call cheerfully while he seems to talk about how much fun he was having, right before MKs voice comes blaring through. "Poyo…" Kirby replies softly.
"Who is it?" Pit asked while stopping, then looking behind him at Kirby, the little guy looked a little deflated. Pit took the phone and looked at it, seeing MKs picture on it. He could still hear the other puffball going on a rant. Pit then hangs up and then notices a red blinking dot on the top right corner of the screen, he clicks on it and sees it's a tracker. He promptly disables it and turns off the phone while pocketing it. "Don't worry buddy I won't let anything happen to you, nor will I let anyone spoil your fun! The heck with the rules you deserve to have fun too!" Pit declares.
"Poyo?" Kirby asked puzzled.
"Yeah! It's you and me bud, it'll be like old times in the subspace remember?" He says patting the little puffball on the head.
"Poyo!" Kirby says cheerfully while waving his arms around.
"I got a feeling our quest is about to get slightly more difficult but we got this, we won't let Pittoo down!" He says, raising his fist into the air.
"Poyo poyo!" Kirby says, raising a little stubby arm up.
*Meta Knight*
He was in the middle of scolding his counterpart who had just told him he went out for some fun in the town with a friend. And before he could tell Kirby to return he was promptly hung up on, worst yet the tracker he placed on him was deactivated. Whoever this friend was surely had no intentions of returning Kirby. MK gripped his phone in his hand tightly as his eyes turned a bright ruby color. He pockets the device and jumps off the roof turning his cape into bat wings and taking off into the air towards the city. He knows where the last ping of Kirby's location came from and he was going to start his search there.
*Pitastc Two!*
Pit looked at his map while looking at the names of the shops and their address compared to where he was. "Oh hey cool backpack where'd you get it?" A girl who was walking by stopped and asked because of its unique appearance.
"Uhh it was actually a collectors Item from the second tournament, they are very rare." Pit says while she looked a little disappointed.
"Awh I would love to have one just like it!" She says while giving it a gentle poke.
"Hiiii!" Kirby called out while waving his little arms around.
"Woah did that just move!" A little kid stopped and asked.
"Oh yeah it's a mechanical gadget thing installed" Pit says nervously as he was drawing a crowd. Worst yet some were taking out their phones and filming him. "Uhh I really should get going actually!" He blurts with a nervous laugh.
"Oh cool it even eats stuff!" A teenager says having placed his cup of popcorn near Kidby who promptly ate it.
"Oh No, please don't feed it! it'll mess up the mechanism!" Pit says while turning around. He was starting to slightly panic as the crowd swarmed around him.
"Ohh look how its eyes move!"
"Oooh feed it my burrito!"
"It's adorable!"
"Is that the real Kirby?"
"He ate my watch!"
"Poyo?"
"Hey it talks too!"
"Can it eat me?"
"Does he like candy?"
"Wait a minute… You look familiar!"
"Could it be the real one?"
"He's so soft and squishy!"
"I think they're smashers!"
"Can I have an autograph!"
"Oooh let me pet it!"
"I wonder if he can turn into a skateboard if I feed him my board!"
"Kirby!"
"Kirby!"
"Kirby!"
The crowd began to cheer and suffocate the poor angel and it kept getting worse as the crowd kept attracting more and more people. "Man, what I wouldn't give to have my wings right about now!" Pit exclaimed as he tried to make his way through the crowd to no avail. He then heard Kirby inhale and puff up and slowly they lifted off the ground. "Aha! Yes!" Pit cheered as they went higher and higher into the sky, "so long everyone nice meeting you all but we're on a quest!" Pit calls out as he and Kirby puff away out of view over a building. They both land atop one of the roofs while Pit cheers and dances around. "Yes!" He says, "you and I make the best team ever!" He says while taking out his map. "Now we'll finish this quest in no time!" He says while trying to find their location. "Our destination is just over those buildings over there, think you can make it there?" Pit asked while looking behind him.
"Poyo!" Kirby says enthusiastically while puffing up again and they peacefully float through the air. A few miles away dark clouds began to form and crackle and rumble as they slowly made their way to the city.
"Oh we better hurry, we don't want to get caught in that storm! Besides, the next place we're going is known for their crispy fried snacks!" Pit says.
"Poyo?" Kirby replied while drooling a little while thinking about it.
"Mmhmm, best in town!" Pit assured while rubbing his hands together. Behind them the storm rumbled before a loud groan echoed through the skies, some lightning flashed briefly illuminating a large shadow deep within the clouds turning towards the city.
*meanwhile*
Meta Knight Lands on one of the low roofs of the Plaza just out of sight while observing all his surroundings for any sign of the pink puffball. He wouldn't be hard to spot anyway as he'd always stick out from any crowd, not to mention he'd definitely attract a literal crowd. Speaking of which he spots a crowd at the far end of the plaza with lots of exciting chatter. He teleports into one of the trees above the crowd and looks down all over the place expecting to see him smack in the middle. Except they were all looking at videos that some of the spectators captured of an alleged Smasher sighting. "Hey where'd my phone go?" A teenager says as his phone seemingly disappears into thin air. Meta Knight took a close look at the video seeing a crowd gathered around a certain individual with a very familiar looking backpack, they were all tightly surrounding the pair however he couldn't get a good look at Kirby's partner in crime due to the baseball cap he wore and he was obviously too tall to be Ness. Meta Knight then sees Kirby puff up and out of view from the crowd over the buildings, MK looks up to see the same buildings and now he has his heading. "Oh hey I found it!" The teenager exclaimed as his phone reappeared in his hands. While everyone was busy looking at the video and excitedly chatting about it they didn't notice a figure above them zoom out of the tree and over the building.
*back at the mansion*
The door to the infirmary opens up and Raven's head pokes in and looks around. "Ah there you are" she says as she spots her target sitting at the edge of her partner's bed.
"Oh hey Rave, what's up?" Lucina asked as Raven stepped in.
"Well Master Hand hand has asked me to retrieve you, he says he would like to discuss a certain important matter with us. And also ask us about some important favors he has." She explains.
"Well I suppose I could step out for a minute…" She says looking back at the dark angel taking a nap. He actually looked so peaceful when he was asleep, and now Raven could actually see a little bit of Pit's adorableness in his counterpart, well now that he wasn't all glares and frowns like he likes to do constantly.
"Besides I got someone to take over until you return!" Raven says reaching behind the door and pulling the goddess of light into the room.
"Hello!" She says cheerfully while waving her fingers.
"Very well, let's see what Master Hand has proposed this time" Lucina says as she and Raven head out. Just as the door closes Dark Pit begins to stir and look around right before his eyes settle on something that horrified him.
"Ah!" He exclaimed as he came face to face with Palutena.
"Good morning sleepy head!" She says with a bright smile, literally. "Peach said it's time to take your meds!" She adds while holding out some pills in her hand.
"Ugh, fine, if it'll give me peace," he says, rolling his eyes and then opening his mouth. Palutena however giggled slightly while her smile was bigger than ever.
"Guess again…" She says plainly. Pittoo's eyes went wide and he immediately began to try and escape out of his bed in a panic, all while she laughed like a maniac.
*elsewhere*
His trek was finally over as he reached the top of a hill overlooking the mansion where his supposed host awaited. He shifted his weight as some wind picked up swaying his cape behind him. The skies rumbled as a mirror image of himself appeared at the other end of the hill. His red eyes quickly darted to his side towards his mirror image, her eyes had just as quickly darted towards him and they just stood still atop the hill staring each other down. The only movement was their capes that swayed in the wind and ruffled their hair, hers more than his. The skies cackled above them as they both slowly placed their hands over the hilts of their swords simultaneously as if doing so in front of the mirror…
Oooweee so much is going on! Well how about that for a chapter gentle-gals and la-men…
This was severely delayed largely due in part by my constant need to procrastinate, seriously I have a problem… Anyway it's here now and the story's going forward as intended. Ya know since it's so close to the end I think I'm actually subconsciously always procrastinating because I'm trying to avoid the inevitable end… I mean it's been years… Hey, maybe I should stop here and do another rewrite no? Right guys! Wouldn't that be fun?
Ok! Ok! Calm down I won't do any unnecessary delays, you all deserve that special ending after all. Especially those of you who have been here since the beginning, hats off to you! Well until next time… How about a procrastination chapter? Whatever that means? We'll figure it out together…
Ok fine! I'll continue like normal, Byeeeeeee!
Next Chapter: Birthright Conquest of Revelation…