Fifty.

With the younger couples out for the evening and the kids fast asleep, Ed and Olivia relaxed on the back porch. They sat together on the loveseat and sipped the rest of the Sangria they'd enjoyed during dinner. In the distance, the waves were still rolling in with a great deal of force.

"Does your mom always go to bed so early?" Olivia asked. Caroline's perpetual perkiness always led her to assume the older woman was a night owl.

"Ten or eleven," Ed replied matter-of-factly, "But, was a busy day. And a lot of sun."

"Right. I can't believe they all went out. I'm more tired than usual." Olivia said.

"A lot more tired?" Ed playfully whispered in her ear.

Olivia squeezed his thigh and reminded him they had roommates for the next week.

"That's never stopped us before," Ed sassed.

"Very true, Captain." Olivia tilted her head back for a kiss. She smiled when Ed gently bit her bottom lip and assured him they would carve out some time and space for intimacy. "I'm proud of you for not giving your mother and Brooke hell today," she added softly, flirtatiously, and also sincerely, for Wyatt had continued to chant "Oh Sit" until they sat down for dinner. Each time, everyone looked up at Ed with wide eyes and waited for his reaction, but he merely shook his head and went back to his food.

Dinner was served in the dining room with the new sliding doors pulled open. Ed and Olivia first considered extending the porch so it could fit a full size table, but they nixed the idea when they realized they'd lose most of the small, grassy backyard where the kids ran around and the fire pit was located. They compromised by swapping the back windows for a series of full-length, hurricane proof, floor-to-ceiling glass windows. Ed had trouble being annoyed with Wyatt's brush with profanity; the sight of his entire family sitting around the custom-made farmhouse table tempered any frustration he had with his mother and daughter. He did, however, agree with Noah when the little boy suggested they find a swear jar for "da beach." Olivia's occasional touches also, as usual, had a calming effect.

Ed felt Olivia shiver ever so slightly and reached for a beach towel from the stack they had wedged in a basket next to the beach toys. Covered now, he massaged Olivia's hip with one hand and curled his other arm possessively around the center of her torso. As the conversation continued, the fingers on her hip teased closer and closer to the center of her body.

"I'm excited to take the boat out tomorrow," Olivia said, "It is big enough for all of us, isn't it?"

"Yeah, might be a little tight, but it seats twelve."

"Should be fine." Olivia turned toward the coffee table and reached for the baby monitor. She hadn't heard a sound from the room where Sofia was sleeping, so she turned up the volume. As she stretched for the device, Ed's fingers wandered between her legs.

"Ed Tucker...I'm making sure our granddaughter is okay and you're-"

"-Don't say granddaughter," he rasped in a commanding, low voice. "Not right now."

Olivia grinned at him reprovingly. Raising the volume worked and, satisfied Sofia was okay, she focused all her attention on her husband. "There's nothing wrong with grand anything," she said in a challenging tone.

"It sounds old," he said, "And I don't feel old."

"Me neither."

Ed again teased his fingers between her legs. This time, he caught a bit of skin and whispered, "No, you definitely don't feel old."

"Ed…"

"C'mere."

Behaving himself, Ed sat up a little and held her head as he kissed her. The kiss was passionate and fierce and Olivia immediately felt her body respond. The loveseat was large enough for cuddling, but when they began moving their bodies against each other, the wicker frame creaked and, more than once, they lost their balance.

"Let's go down to the beach," Ed whispered.

"Honey, we can't."

Ed groaned. Though disappointed, he smiled at his wife and smoothed her hair. "Yeah, I guess that'd be bad."

"It'd be very bad." Olivia rubbed his chin with an index finger. She'd shut down a porch and beach tryst, but she had not placed much distance between her body and his.

"I still wanna kiss you, Lieutenant."

"Good," she said, grinning, "Because I still want to kiss you, too."

…..

By the time Olivia arrived, late, at the pub to meet Ed for dinner, he was one drink in and had ordered two for her. She slid in the booth across from him and squinted skeptically at the glasses, both filled with neat bourbon pours. Ed mentioned he knew she liked a little ice, but he didn't want them prematurely watered down. Ed smirked when he said this, for he enjoyed needling Benson about "tainting" the taste of the liquor to which she responded she'd witnessed, read, and heard the proper way to enjoy the drink was with an ice cube or two.

"Trying to get me drunk, Tucker?"

"Nah, wanted to give you a chance to catch up and also thought ya might need it."

Olivia let out an exasperated chuckle. "No kidding. I have Carisi and Rollins back at the precinct sifting through all of Rudnick's cases...we need to get out in front of any of them that could possibly be subject to appeal now," she paused and stared at the ceiling, "Unbelievable. How? After all these years am I still shocked?"

"You ever sense something was off with him?"

"Yes," Olivia said assuredly, "Always. He was a weird guy...but then again, he's an ME, but...then again...so's Melinda and she's not…"

"...a sadistic serial killer?" Ed finished for her.

Olivia gulped her first sip of bourbon and mumbled, "Exactly."

"At least not that you know of," Ed quipped and waited for her response wearing his signature smirk.

To his relief, she grinned and joined the levity. "Tomorrow's another day...you never know."

The rest of their evening continued on the same note-they traded cop stories, Olivia talked about summer plans with Noah and Ed griped good-naturedly about his daughters. They shared a bruschetta appetizer, traded pieces of their entrees, and split a huge hunk of bread pudding for dessert. Afterwards, they strolled in the direction of Olivia's apartment and, as they neared her block, their gait slowed in a mutual decision to prolong the date.

Steps from her building, Olivia suddenly felt relieved of much of the stress of the past few weeks. Noah was officially hers-there was no chance Ms. Jackson was waiting at her door to reprimand her for going out for drinks and dinner with her former adversary. She didn't have the results from the Lieutenant's exam yet, but she felt good about the test and was sure she'd scored well. Lastly, she and her squad had, within the span of a few months, closed several high profile cases. Summer, and the inevitable uptick in violent crime, was upon them, but Olivia felt content, in control, and increasingly charmed by Tucker, particularly when he struggled with saying goodbye to her.

"So, I'll, uh, give you a call this weekend? See what's goin on?"

The reckless part of Olivia wanted to invite him upstairs, but rational sense won out. "Yeah, sure," she said, "I am on duty Friday and Saturday, but...maybe Sunday?"

"Okay," he grinned apologetically. "If not, no big deal."

Everything about his tone suggested otherwise. Olivia stepped closer to him and did something she'd never done before-she initiated a kiss. Up until now, she'd been a willing participant when Tucker gave her a chaste peck on the lips and she leaned in when he kissed her cheek, but tonight, emboldened, she conveyed she was just as enamored with him as he was with her.

Her lips were slightly parted when they touched his, and she cupped the back of his head. Surprised at the move, Ed took a step backwards to steady himself and followed her lead. She switched angles, kissed him again, smiled, and kissed him once more. Then, just as quickly as she'd given in to the moment, Olivia pulled away. However, the romantic sparkle remained in her eyes.

"That was nice," he said.

The gentler version of his deep, raspy voice plucked every nerve ending in her body. She fought a shiver by briefly clenching her molars. The smirk was still plastered on his face. Olivia's gaze drifted to the sidewalk and she managed to murmur only the beginning of a thought, "All of a sudden…"

"...All of a sudden, I really like kissing Olivia Benson," he said as she trailed off.

She appreciated the courage it took to utter that sentiment. Nervous and less sure of herself, she narrowed her eyes and peered at him. "This, ah...this is...wow…"

"I know." If Ed was disappointed Olivia didn't reciprocate by saying she liked kissing him, he didn't show it. He held her wrists. "This is okay, Olivia," he said. "It's okay that we want to spend time with each other." His blue eyes were intense yet comforting. "If that is...what you want."

"It is." She flashed an appreciative smile. "So...Sunday, right?"

"Right."

She leaned in for another kiss, needing to prove to herself the moment was real. "I had a good time tonight, Ed. Thank you."

"Anytime."

…..

The pontoon boat was plenty big enough for the entire family, their two coolers, and an assortment of inflatable toys that could be used if they decided to anchor for a while. The boat was docked on a calm bay which appeased Caroline who had spent the morning staring warily into the ocean and walking back her excitement about spending the afternoon on the water. Once on board, she stretched out on a bow seat, put her feet up, and sipped cocktails. Ed, with Noah's occasional assistance, navigated around the waterway and smiled often at his mother who was clearly relaxed and enjoying herself.

"Why is it people wave to each other?" Sarah asked. "I mean, we don't know these people...can you imagine if that protocol applied in the city?" She giggled at the thought. "I'm going to start waving to everyone on the way to work."

"They won't think anything of it," Caroline muttered.

Brooke agreed. "Yep, you'll be so weird at that point, you'll fit right in with the rest of the crazies."

Sarah held a finger in the air in agreement and smiled at Brooke from under her wide-brimmed hat. She wore oversized sunglasses which prompted Caroline to call her "Jackie-O" when she first slid them on earlier in the day.

Olivia rubbed Ed's shoulders as he steered into a wide, semi-private cove on the west side of the bay. He glanced up at her. "This okay to stop for a little bit?"

"Great spot." She kissed the top of his head. "Ready for some lunch?"

"Yeah."

Olivia and Brooke set up their lunch spread on the small plastic table. They brought shrimp and cocktail sauce, two types of smoked fish spread from the local deli, and a tray of sliced vegetables. They kept the sweet items-brownies and miniature muffins-hidden at first.

Wyatt and Maggie, looking bulky in their life jackets, made a dash for the food.

"SIMP!"

"Crah-er, Mama! Peeeease!"

Olivia fixed plates for the little ones and set them up on the floor. Brooke did the same for Sofia. Ed and Sonny tossed the anchor out and everyone proceeded to enjoy their light lunch in the bright sunshine. Olivia participated in the conversation while keeping one eye on the twins and their seven-month-old granddaughter. She wanted to make sure they didn't somehow escape, but she was also observing how Maggie interacted with Sofia. When the four kids were together, the baby usually looked on, bewildered at the bustle of activity. At the moment, Noah was chatting with Caroline at the front of the boat. Maggie and Wyatt babbled and picked food off one another's plates. When Maggie ran out of crackers, she took one from Sofia's portion.

"Maggie, sweetheart, if you want more, ask Mommy," Olivia said sweetly, "Don't take Sofia's food!"

"More, Mama! More Peeeeease!"

Olivia refilled their plates and replaced Sofia's cracker.

"Those two have not warmed up to each other," Carisi remarked. He usually had a weak filter for comments such as this one and it was even more porous thanks to the beers he'd been swilling.

"They're not exactly old enough to be besties," Sarah snickered.

"And Sof will get used to being around more kids when she starts day care," Brooke pointed out. "Since she was born it's kind of been she and I hanging out most of the time."

Ed caressed the back of Olivia's neck. He saw her face contort into the tiniest frown, something only he would notice. Olivia had never stopped being concerned about Maggie's attitude toward Sofia, and she hated that they hadn't managed to carve out more time to spend with Brooke and the baby.

"You lookin' forward to going back to work?" Ed asked Brooke, effectively changing the subject.

"Well, I do love summer," Brooke said, "But, yeah, I think the school's a good fit and I liked everyone I met when I went for processing."

"Where's the school?" Justin asked. Sarah rarely gave him updates and, if she had, he was certain she had not mentioned the name of the school.

"Poly Prep," Brooke said, "It's kind of a great job, actually, I'll be their reading specialist, so I won't actually have my own classroom."

"Ugh," Sarah groaned, "I know you love it Brookey, but I don't think I could teach anyone how to read."

"You're not going to teach your kids their ABC's?" Brooke challenged. "Sounds? Read to them?"

"Oh, of course," Sarah said.

"Well, then, you'll be teaching them reading."

"Noey!" Sarah summoned him from the bow and he ran over, "Who taught you to read?"

Noah twisted his lips and answered slowly, "Daddy...we read da menu at da pub! And Mommy with da books. And Gramma Care-line with da Irish book. And teachers."

"Not me?" Sarah pretended to be insulted.

"Yes, you, Sare Bear! You teached, um, taught, me to read da Subway!"

Olivia laughed heartily, "That could, quite possibly, be the most important reading skill."

"Noah," Caroline said. She took Ed's Captain's chair and stole a sip from his red Solo Cup, "When are you going to take the train and come see me?"

"Ma," Ed said through gritted teeth. He swiped back his cup. "You have my drink, but, more importantly, don't give him any ideas."

Sarah dug in her bag for a Sharpie. "Here! I brought ink!" She passed around the marker so everyone could label their drinks. Noticing Noah's scrunched up expression of disapproval, she plucked a fresh cup from the stack and handed it to him. "Here ya go, Noey. Don't want you to be left out. I'll pour your Shirley Temple in there. Don't spill."

"I don't spill, Sare Bear."

"Accidents happen."

Noah carefully printed his name in letters so large they almost entirely circled the plastic. He examined his work, added a smiley face, and gave it a satisfied nod. "There. N-O-A-H."

"It's a party now!" Sarah exclaimed gleefully.

"Wonderful," Ed muttered under his breath.

Olivia patted his stomach and started to say something, but Wyatt and Maggie, finished with their food, were now pulling at their life jackets.

"OFF!"

"OFF, Mama!" Maggie whined, tugged at the straps, and tried unsuccessfully to separate the two ends of the hard plastic clasps.

"You want that off, baby?" Caroline asked.

"No, no, sweet girl," Olivia scooped Maggie into her arms. "You have to keep the jacket on on the boat."

Wyatt, too, squirmed and managed to wriggle one arm out, but, in the process, actually trapped himself even more in the jacket and started to cry. Ed freed him. "Alright, bud, you're okay. You wanna go in the water with Daddy?"

"YES!" Noah answered for his brother. "Lessgo!"

"See," Olivia said sweetly to Maggie and pointed at Noah, "Noah has a life jacket on. Watch. He's going to jump in!"

"MAGG JUMP!"

"Me first!" Justin propelled himself off the deck and hit the water with his arms and legs splayed out.

"He's gangly," Caroline commented. "A little too much so for me, but, Sare Bear, he's one good-lookin' man."

"And his brother is married. And his father is dead." Sarah said, "If you're getting any ideas."

"No, no," Caroline said, "The only man for me was your grandfather."

"Well, I'm one ahead of you I guess," Sarah joked.

Caroline raised her eyebrows. "One? My guess is about ten or eleven!"

"Grandma!"

…..

By the time the boat was docked in its slip and the family was back at the house, it was late afternoon, the twins and Sofia were sleeping, and Noah, too, looked like he was ready for a nap. Nevertheless, when Sarah asked him if he wanted to go for a walk and look for shells, he readily grabbed his bucket and joined her and Justin. Sonny and Brooke helped Ed set up wood in the fire pit for the evening's smores. When the task was done, Brooke and Sonny lounged in the yard in the Adirondacks and Ed went to the market for dinner ingredients.

Content on the swing and far enough away to give the Carisis a little privacy, Olivia rocked back and forth and watched the setting sun cast reddish orange rays across the water. Her solace was broken by the creaky screen door opening. She smiled at Caroline who she'd assumed was resting in her room. As it turned out, she had been tidying the kitchen, mixing her soda bread batter, and preparing fresh strawberry daiquiris which she'd poured and arranged on a tray.

"I used your blender," Caroline said, "Hope you don't mind." She lowered the tray and Olivia took one of the tumblers.

"Of course not," Olivia said, "Glad someone's using it."

Caroline delivered drinks to Sonny and Brooke and returned to Olivia's side on the swing. "Nice out here," she said, "I could spend the whole day on this porch."

"It is so, so nice," Olivia said. "I love it."

After a few minutes of silence, Caroline asked how Olivia was doing now that her career had come to an end. "Has it sunk in yet?"

"I don't think so," Olivia replied, "Right now it just feels like I'm on vacation. But...I have no idea where my phone is," she added, grinning, "Which has been previously unheard of."

Caroline ran the fingers of her free hand through her short gray hair and then down the side of her face. Though Ed mostly resembled his father, the rigid cheekbones and piercing blue eyes were traits passed down from both his parents. "Might feel a little different once you get back to the city?"

"Probably." Olivia forced a sardonic laugh, "You would think, after thirty years, a lot of it hellish, I'd be ready to let it all go. But leaving was one of the toughest decisions...the timing was right, I know that, it'll just be…"

"...an adjustment."

"Yes."

"Life's full of those."

"Amen to that."

"And now all that hellishness is someone else's problem."

Hearing this, at first, Olivia met the comment with a serene nod. She mentioned something about the Benson Center and how that entity would allow her to follow up on SVU's most important but less publicized job-ensuring victims and their families had access to and received appropriate, timely, and consistent support.

"Eddie was so thrilled to be in on that surprise," Caroline said.

"I can't believe he was able to keep it a secret."

"He can be pretty tight-lipped when he wants to be."

"He sure can," Olivia mumbled. She was still hung up on Caroline's "hellishness" reply. The way she said it in such a detached way indicated to her that Caroline either didn't know about or didn't understand how Olivia herself survived assaults. "So," Olivia continued, "The Center, I think, will be able to close the gap between the case leaving SVU and the courts and victim services...I'm looking forward to setting it all in motion."

Caroline nodded and sipped more of the daiquiri.

"Me, though, I'll always be a work in progress...sometimes, leaving things in the past is easier said than done."

"I used to worry so much about Eddie," Caroline replied, "More so when he was a patrol officer, I'll tell ya dearie, the day he got promoted I threw a goddam party." She paused for a throaty, raspy chuckle. "But, after a while, I realized that was selfish of me."

"Selfish?"

"Sure. Who was I to worry so much when it was him risking his life day in and day out? So then I decided I'd just be proud." Caroline put her hand on Olivia's knee again. "Honey, I know you've been through...a lot...more probably than I really want to know...but I want you to know that, whatever you've done to get through it, to take care of yourself, to manage to love my Eddie and your children...It. Has. Worked."

Olivia swallowed hard and stared at the floorboards.

"You may look back on it all, years from now, and still be haunted, still regret some things, maybe even see yourself with some permanent damage, but, Noah? Those beautiful babies? They will only know you has their mother who loves them and will do anything for them. They'll remember your smile and your hugs and kisses and the way you tucked them in at night. And they'll carry all of that with them forever, and pass it on. Eddie? The first thing he thinks about each day, I'm sure, is how much he loves you and how grateful he is that you're his wife. That, my dear is what's important."

Caroline tipped Olivia's chin up and lightly slapped her cheek. "I love you dearie," she said, "And, for what it's worth, I'm proud of you."

Olivia leaned in to the older woman's touch.

"It's worth...more than you know."

…..

At precisely three o'clock, Noah burst through the apartment door with an advance copy of the week's New York Times Magazine. He didn't bother removing his jacket or shrugging off his backpack, and he ran into the living room with his damp shoes squeaking against the parquet floor.

"Here it is," he announced proudly and handed the publication to Olivia. "Page three."

"Three," Ed marveled, "Wow, bud, that's...big time."

Olivia flipped so fast to the page she almost tore the cover. There he was, in the second row, first column, grinning broadly for the photographer and clad in a white collared shirt and blue and green striped tie. Over the course of his life, Noah had owned many versions of that same tie. Olivia ran her fingers over the title and read the words aloud.

"Crain's Twenty Under Twenty," she said slowly.

Ed peered over her shoulder. "You look great, bud."

"Noah Benson Tucker," Olivia read. "Community Activist. Honey," she stood up and blinked back tears, "I am so, so proud of you."

The Tuckers had known for weeks about Noah being named to the list, but seeing his name and award in print and in the New York Times Magazine brought on a whole new and even more intense wave of pride. Olivia hugged him tightly and Noah pretended to struggle for breath.

"We should celebrate," Olivia said. She reached up and mussed his hair. At seventeen he was a full head taller than his mother. "Anywhere you want to go for dinner."

"Alright," Noah grinned. "Lemme think about it."

The coffee table amplified the vibrating of Olivia's phone.

"Maggie," Ed reported.

"They're leaving?"

Ed picked up the phone, typed in the code, and read the message. "Leaving school now."

"Tell her we're going out to dinner."

Ed typed the message and waited.

"She asked if it was an early dinner because she's starving."

"I'm hungry too," Noah said.

"Early dinner then," Olivia said.

Noah went to change clothes. He returned in jeans and a red polo shirt. "Thought we'd go to Mamasita," he explained mostly to Olivia because her expression told him she had been expecting fancier attire. "Haven't been there in a while."

"Whatever you want sweetheart."

"Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for helping me with everything." Whenever Noah thanked his parents, he did so with the utmost sincerity and this time was no exception. "I wouldn't be in that magazine without you."

"You're welcome honey."

"We can go somewhere else if you don't want Mexican."

"Nope. Sounds good. And it's your choice. And we're honored."

"Let's enjoy it," Ed added, "Enjoy being out before that paper hits the stores this weekend and everyone wants to take ya to dinner." He kissed Olivia's cheek and went to the bedroom to don an outfit similar to Noah's.

Noah plopped on the couch and scrolled through his phone.

Olivia wandered around the room pretending to organize and straighten a few odds and ends, but she was mostly trying to get rid of the pit that had formed in her stomach after Ed made his comment. She thought about that day, over a decade ago, when Sheila Porter appeared out of the blue and Olivia refused to let her be part of Noah's life. Where was she now? Back in New Hampshire? Across the country and away from memories of Ellie? Out of the country?

If she was anywhere near New York, there was a good chance she or someone she knew would see Noah's picture, see the award, how handsome and grown up he was...how he'd omitted the "Porter" from his name when giving the reporter his biographical information.

Would she try to make contact a second time?

…..

Inside the steamy master bathroom, Ed and Olivia stepped out of the shower, wrapped themselves in towels, and hunched over the vanity to brush their teeth. Olivia smoothed cream on her face, arms, and legs, noticed Ed's pout, and asked what was wrong.

"I wanted to do that." He let his eyelids droop and tried his best to look cute and a bit pathetic.

She pulled on a t shirt and pajama shorts, twisted her hair up in a damp messy bun, and kissed him on the lips. "Tomorrow," she said in a low voice. "Now...how about...you come to bed with me?"

"Gladly."

In the middle of the mattress Olivia lay with her back to Ed's chest nestled securely in his grasp. Ed rested his chin on her shoulder. They both fixed their eyes on the alcove where Noah, Maggie, and Wyatt were sleeping soundly despite being piled on top of one another in an uncomfortable-looking heap.

"Look at them," Olivia whispered. "So precious."

"Think we should move 'em?"

"Maybe in a little bit."

Ed breathed in deeply. He loved the scent of Olivia's shampoo combined with a hint of beach air that still clung to both of them. "Good day today."

"Yes. Great boat ride, dinner was perfect, Sofia got her first Smore."

"I told 'em, each time Maggs and Wyatt had one, they got better and better at eatin' em."

"Cute though...them getting so messy and giggling and loving it."

"Yeah…" Ed kissed her cheek and held her more tightly. "Tomorrow, it's our turn to go out at night."

"Where are we going, Captain?"

"You'll see."

"I love your surprises."

"Can't have ya disappointed."

"I never am." Olivia lifted one of his hands to her lips and kissed his knuckles. "Ed?"

"Hmm?"

"Does your mom know...well, how much, about me and the job, does she know?"

Though the question was vague, Ed knew exactly what she meant. He and Olivia had an unspoken rule that they'd never mention specific names in their bedroom. "She paid attention to the news, so she knows what the public knew. But, anything else, no. There's no way she could."

"You didn't tell her?"

"No, baby. I wouldn't do that. Why? Did it seem like she knew more than she should?"

"No...I guess... I thought maybe, somewhere along the line, you would have said something."

"I'd never say anything unless you wanted me to." Ed sat up a little and they turned on their sides, facing each other. "What happened, Liv?"

"Nothing, we were just...talking...about retirement, about leaving things in the past...about kids...and how they'll remember us.

To Ed, the conversation sounded distressing and awful. "Aw, Liv, I'm sorry, I'll-"

"No," she interrupted, "No, it was good. It was...more than good. I actually," she chuckled weakly, "After, well, I've always gotten along with your mother, but, it was...so...comforting...to have a conversation like that, to feel like she was...my mother...giving me advice, perspective, wisdom...I, uh, never got much of that and never really knew what it felt like until...today."

Ed gazed at her with his lips slightly parted.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," he replied, a smirk forming on his face, "But, uh, you're sure it was my mother you were talking to?"

Olivia grinned and swatted at his arm. "Yes, Ed Tucker, I'm sure."

His face softened again. "I'm glad you had that opportunity, Liv. I just hate," he played with her hair, "Hate that it's taken so long for you to have a conversation like that."

"Well, I've had them with the shrink. Family? That's different. Better."

He ran a finger across her lips and whispered, "Family."

"Yes," she puckered her lips and kissed his fingertips. "Family."

….

#Tuckson