Sixty-five.

Toys, sippy cups, stuffed animals, and board books covered almost every inch of floor, sofa, and table space in Sarah's apartment. Bowls containing the snacks Noah and Olivia purchased for the evening were set out on two end tables and on the island. Noah had been allowed soda, but Maggie, Wyatt, and Sofia were limited to Tahitian Treat fruit juice. For dinner they ordered pizza and ate it while watching a movie on the big screen. The kids sat all together on the floor among large pillows and shoveled pizza into their mouths. Brooke cut some bits of a cheese slice for her ten-month-old and snapped photos of the adorable scene-baby Sofia hanging out with the older kids. She mimicked the others-when they laughed, she laughed, and when one of the others pointed excitedly at the screen, Sofia did the same.

"You're staying here tonight, right?" Sarah had her hand on a bottle of wine but waited for Brooke to answer in the affirmative before uncorking it.

"Yeah, but, are you sure Justin won't care?"

"He's on until six a.m."

"I thought he was working at the university?"

"He is. He's going to TA for his advisor."

"Why doesn't he focus on one thing?" Brooke asked, "He must be exhausted."

"He'll take fewer shifts once the semester really gets going," Sarah said, "He loves what he does, and he can do both, so...I guess he'll do that until he gets severely burned out and is forced to drop something."

"Like when you have a kid?"

"Or when he starts researching for his master's thesis," Sarah countered.

"It just seems like he doesn't know what he wants to do," Brooke said.

"More like he wants to do a lot of things," Sarah said, "Better to have that problem."

Brooke shrugged. "I suppose. Well, I'm kind of in the same boat with Sonny," she said, "He still talks about going into law, but now, with Olivia retired, now he'll occasionally bring up the Sergeant's exam…"

Sarah could have berated Brooke for the double standard, but she didn't want to add any unnecessary tension to their evening. "Well," she said, "At least the two of us have it together! How was your first week? How was Sofia's at day care?"

After stepping away from teaching for the past couple of years, Brooke started a job as a Reading Specialist at school near their neighborhood. "Mine was fairly boring," Brooke said, "Basically looking at test scores. It was hell leaving Sofia at day care the first couple of times, but she warmed up and got excited to see the teachers and the kids."

"Gawwwwd," Sarah exaggeratedly threw her head forward, "I haaate that. When I had to leave the twins at day care that one time I almost cried! The only reason I didn't is that Noey was there and he was all, 'chill out, Sare Bear,' and was totally being the adult."

Out of pizza, Wyatt ran to the kitchen with his empty plate. He held it up, "More, Sah? More pease?"

Sarah played with his hair and took the empty plate. "Sure sweetie," she cooed, "Looks like most of your first slice got on your shirt!"

Wyatt looked down and clutched a handful of his gray-and-blue striped t-shirt. "My sirt! Pizza on my sirt!" His blue eyes grew wide, "UH OH!" Wyatt ran to the foyer where their bags were lined up against the wall and rifled through his dinosaur-themed overnight tote with his name embroidered on the side. He successfully found another shirt and brought it to Brooke. "New sirt Book! New sirt, pease!"

Brooke helped him change as Sarah filled his plate with more food. "These are the cleanest, most polite children in the universe," Sarah said. "Now, Wyatt, don't get this one too dirty or you'll have to wear small sister's clothes." She handed him the plate, "Here you go. Two hands."

"TAYOUU, SAH!" He walked slowly back to the living room, careful not to tip the plate. He sat down and proudly said, "More, No! More pizza!"

"Yeah," Noah said, "You got more pizza! That's a HUGE slice!"

Wyatt offered the slice to his brother. "No, bite?"

"I have some still, Wyatt. I got a WHOLE slice. You eat it."

"Wy, eat!"

"Yup."

Wyatt took a gigantic bite and smiled as he chewed. "YUM!"

Sarah and Brooke watched and listened from the kitchen. "Gahhh," Sarah said, "They are so adorable."

"They really are," Brooke smiled and nodded, "Seeing that makes me feel better about waiting to have number two."

"I bet Livvie and Daddy are making four and five right now," Sarah grinned and nudged Brooke. She was obviously joking, but Sarah knew how sex talk made Brooke uncomfortable, particularly when it involved their father and Olivia.

"You're insane."

"Well, technically," Sarah winked at her sister, "For Daddy, it's six and seven."

"You really are certifiable."

…

After Richie Caskey was placed in a holding cell for the night, Olivia rushed home and changed into a hunter green sweater and jeans. Noah was already asleep, so she gave him a soft kiss goodnight, lavished her thanks on Lucy, and went back out to meet Ed. He'd spent most of the day with his mother and his daughter Sarah. They attended the St. Patrick's Day Parade, had a late lunch, and spent the rest of the afternoon playing cards at her home in Riverdale. It took forever for Ed to get back into the city through dense rush hour traffic; he parked his car near his building and holed up at one of his favorite dives waiting for Olivia's "I'm finished" text message. As the night dragged on, disappointment mounted. He was certain she would leave work exhausted and want to go home and crash, so when he read that she was on her way, he grinned so much at his phone screen that the bartender correctly guessed he had a "lady friend" joining him.

As soon as she entered the bar, Olivia wore an ear-to-ear grin. The place was dark and narrow and neither the barstools nor the high top tables had been replaced in the past couple of decades. Even though bars no longer allowed smoking, the yellowish lights created a haze and while she could see Tucker, he was, at first, a little blurry.

"Hi there," she gave him a hug and a kiss before removing her coat, "Happy St. Patrick's Day."

"Same to you," he replied. "I like the green."

Olivia tugged on the sleeve of his blue-and-green gingham button-down shirt. "I like this."

"Had to have the blue," Ed explained, "Or my Mom would disown me."

"I'm sorry I couldn't join you today...for any of it...the whole day went by quickly-"

"-Get your man?"

"I think so." A pained expression crossed Olivia's face, "I hope your mom and Sarah don't think I'm avoiding them." During the day, when it was clear she wasn't going to even be able to sneak away for lunch, Olivia briefly considered suggesting Ed pick up Noah from day care and take him to the parade, but, not wanting to force Ed into a day of babysitting and navigating crowds with a two-year-old, she reconsidered.

"They don't think that," he said, "Although Sarah did want to make a detour to the precinct."

Olivia smiled and grabbed his hand, "And I hope...you don't think I'm avoiding you."

Ed faced her, took her other hand, and swung their arms in the space between them, "If you wanted to avoid me, I don't think you'd be here right now."

"True," she cooed. "I'm extremely glad to be here. And not just because I need a drink after today."

"Why else?"

"If I've realized anything in the past few weeks," she said, "It's that I'm lucky to have you...have Noah...have...us."

Ed leaned in for a kiss. "I agree with All of the above," he replied, "But I'm ridiculously lucky to be able to do that."

"Maybe you'll get even luckier later," she retorted with one eyebrow cocked.

The flirty sass took his breath away. He reddened and shook his head, "Olivia Benson…"

…

Even though he was out of breath and could not feel much else other than the erotic pleasure swirling through his body, Ed tried to carry on a conversation as he made love to Olivia. After the premiere and the post-show cocktail hour, they enjoyed a quiet meal at a neighborhood bistro. In between feeding each other bites from their meals, Ed and Olivia picked apart the show. She explained the parts in which she was the most influential; he beamed with pride and exuded compliment after compliment. The praise was not limited to her work. At one point he sat back, sipped his wine, and declared no one had ever looked so beautiful in a dress than she looked at that moment.

She wore a flared, navy lace cocktail dress with elbow-length sleeves. Since the design was so intricate, she chose simple accessories-the Cartier necklace, a matching gold tennis bracelet Ed had gifted her for her last birthday, and, of course, her rings.

Olivia felt the blood and heat rush to her cheeks. Not only were Ed's words raw and sincere, his eyes arrested her entire body. Ed had a unique way of projecting what could have been perceived as negative characteristics in ways that were endearing and attractive. With Olivia, he was possessive but not overbearing. Ed managed to convey this message in the most innocent, loving way. Even tonight, when she was surrounded by admirers and well-wishers, he stood by her side as she shook hands, accepted congratulations, and returned friendly hugs. On the way to the restaurant, Olivia gave him a passionate kiss and commended him for patiently sharing her with others for a few hours.

Now, alone in their bedroom, Ed grinned and pressed his forehead to hers when she, through raspy, labored breath, pointed out that he was the only man in the entire world who got to be where he was. "You're the only one," she said, "Who makes me feel like this… Ohhhh!"

"Who loves you like this," Ed whispered before letting out a moan of his own. "Aw, baby…" he gasped and couldn't quite articulate what he'd planned to say after that. Olivia's hands flew all over, her back arched, she pleaded for him not to stop and he didn't until she was writhing and crying out his name and even then he made himself last as long as possible before collapsing on top of her in an exhausted heap.

"Liv," he said after he'd rolled over and collected her in his arms, "I'm terrified there'll be a day when," Ed paused, sighed, and kissed her head, "When we won't be able to get here, when I won't be able to love you like I wanna-"

Olivia's head snapped up, "Is something wrong?" Nothing certainly seemed wrong; she shivered just thinking about the past hour.

"No, no," Ed managed a chuckle. "I dunno why I thought of it; it's-"

"-I think we'll be old and barely able to walk before that happens." Olivia reassuringly rubbed his chest and kissed his chin. She narrowed her eyes and asked, "Are you sure you're okay? I mean...I know you're okay," she gave his lower body a quick glance, "But-"

"-I love you so much," Ed replied, "I say it, show it...but I always wanna show it, I always wanna make love to you Olivia Margaret," he smoothed her hair back and gazed into her eyes. "Always."

Knowing there was nothing she could say to fully reassure him, Olivia held the side of his face and planted a deep kiss on his lips. "You know what I want?" She asked in a low, seductive voice.

"What's that?"

"Bourbon. You have any in the drawer?"

Ed smirked. "You know I do."

…

Ed could see Olivia's shoulders rise and fall with each breath. Her jaw was clenched, and Ed could tell her mind was rife with indecision. Sheila remained in the same spot with a blank expression; she appeared neither intimidated nor scared, only mildly surprised her encounter with Noah had resulted in this type of conflict.

"Leave," Olivia said again. "Do not come back. Ever."

"I only wanted to see him," Sheila said in an eerie, disembodied voice. "All I wanted to do was say congratulations."

"Sheila," Ed took a step forward, "You've gotta go. We'll get an order of protection if we have to-"

"-He's not yours," Olivia snapped. "You have NO RIGHT to show up here and think you can carve out a place in his life. He's happy! Smart!"

"Liv-" Ed grabbed her by the elbow, worried she was going to physically attack Sheila. Even though the woman had obviously obtained their address through underhanded means, she technically hadn't broken any laws. Nevertheless, she'd startled their daughter and, when they got back upstairs, they would have to tell Noah the full truth of his background. Ed believed Olivia had always intended to tell Noah he had a living blood relative, but as he got older that plan seemed to lose its luster.

"-LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Olivia shouted though she didn't fight back against Ed's grasp. Instead, she drew closer to him as if she wanted him to hold her back. "Years ago, we settled this," Olivia continued, switching to a more even-keeled voice, "The judge ruled in my favor," Olivia smacked her own chest with her fist, "Mine! I don't ever, ever want to see you near my children again. Not here. Not anywhere. Do you understand me? Unless you want to spend the next decade in a cell...Stay. Away. From. Our. Lives."

Ed expected Sheila to show some emotion. The venom in Olivia's voice unsettled him; he imagined being the target of her vengeful words would feel like being stabbed repeatedly in the gut. Nevertheless, Sheila remained stone-faced and glassy-eyed. After Olivia uttered the last sentence, she put her hands in the air, a gesture of surrender.

"I'll go," Sheila said. She turned on her heel and walked away.

Ed and Olivia watched her round the corner. Once she was out of sight, Ed wrapped his arms around Olivia and held her while she broke into gentle sobs. "What am I going to do?" She moaned into his chest. "He's going to ask questions, Maggie's going to ask questions...they're up there right now waiting for us to get back…"

"We'll tell him the truth," Ed said in his most soothing voice. "He'll understand. It may take some time, but he will Liv. We'll get through this, all together. No one. No. One. can hurt this family." He held her at arm's length and made her look into his eyes, "No one."

Olivia sniffled, stared up at the sky, and met his eyes again. "Thank God I don't have to do this alone."

"You never will." Ed played with the collar of her unzipped parka. "C'mon. It's cold. Let's go in...see what we're dealin' with."

"Okay." Olivia cocked her head and looked inquisitively at Ed. A tiny smirk was creeping onto his face. "What is it?"

His eyes fell to her chest. "Your shirt's on backwards."

"Oh my God…"

"C'mon," Ed put his arm around her, "We can fix that in the elevator."

"I hope fixing the damage with Noah is as easy."

"It'll be fine," Ed kissed the side of her head as they entered the building, "I promise."

In the elevator, after a quick shift of her shirt, Olivia leaned against Ed as the car climbed to their floor. Uncertainty abounded, but, for a moment, she was able to see the big picture. Ed was right. Eventually, after some tough conversations and questions, their lives would go back to normal. At the end of the day, she would be able to justify her decision to Noah and he would understand, even if he disagreed. Such was his way. Olivia shuddered to think about how she'd react if he wanted to reach out to Sheila, but a broader realization quelled most of her anxiety. Ed, her rock-solid husband, was by her side and always would be. Noah might be angry. The twins might be confused. Olivia was definitely already riddled with guilt and nervousness and uncertainty, but Ed? He steeled his jaw and so tightly held her hand Olivia was positive, even after he let go, she would feel his grip indefinitely.

….

Unlike the grand opening of a department store or a new amusement facility, there was no fanfare on the first official day of operation for the Benson Center. Olivia, the social worker, and the psychologist waited in their respective offices for a call. When a phone finally rang, it was Olivia's cell and Sergeant Amanda Rollins on the other end. They exchanged quick pleasantries, but Rollins quickly got down to business. Last week SVU caught a case involving a woman working on a temporary assignment in the city who got confused while riding the subway late at night and ended up accepting "help" from a man who took her to his apartment and assaulted her. She managed to fight off the attack before she was raped, flee the building, and call 911; however, after filing the initial report, the woman was reluctant to cooperate further.

"She wants to finish out the rest of her contract and go back home," Rollins explained. "Talk to her?"

"Absolutely," Olivia said. "What does she do?"

"Well, here's where it gets tricky, or, well, interesting," Rollins said, "She's consulting for Barba's Assembly campaign."

"You're kidding."

"No."

"And I'm assuming he doesn't know?"

"Nope."

"Does she know his history with us?" Olivia winced slightly, unsure whether or not she was allowed to use "us" when speaking of SVU.

"I told her," Rollins replied in a tone that suggested she wasn't sure if her answer was correct in Olivia's eyes. "I don't think she actually heard me at that point. But, she agreed to come and see you, so, that's a step in the right direction."

"It is. And it's why we're here. Thanks, Rollins."

Nervous yet curious about how she'd respond to police-ish work after a months-long absence, Olivia hung up and waited in silence. After a few minutes, she reminded the others she would take the lead on this first case. She played soft, instrumental music then turned it off, adjusted the lighting and the blinds, and checked the mini-fridge even though she knew it was stocked with water, juice, and soda. Seconds after she sat down in the desk chair she'd taken from her old office at SVU, the Center's main door opened and the receptionist greeted the woman with a warm hello.

Olivia stood and was in the middle of the office when her visitor was escorted in. "Hello," she said, extending her hand, "I'm Olivia. Olivia Tucker." The whole scene was surreal-a victim but no bustling precinct or bleak interrogation room, "Olivia Tucker" instead of "Lieutenant Benson," and, other than the brief summary Rollins gave her, no advance knowledge of the crime, no evidence, and no profile on the perp.

The woman introduced herself as "Stephanie" and gave Olivia a firm handshake. It was a politician's grip and Olivia soon realized her entire affect was one of a powerful, highly intelligent player in the electoral world.

"Let's sit," Olivia said, gesturing to the pair of loveseats in one corner of the office, "Tell me about last week."

….

The fanciful wish that Noah and Maggie would have brushed off the encounter and went directly to bed did not come true. When Ed and Olivia entered the apartment they found both kids sitting on the edge of the sofa, still wearing their coats, and staring expectantly into the foyer. The questions began immediately. Who was that? What did she want? How did she know Noah's name? Was there something wrong with her?

"She looked really, really..." Maggie rotated an index finger around and around beside her head, "Really crayyyyyzyyyyy!"

Ed ordered Maggie to her room and she assumed it was because of her insensitive comment.

"Please Daddy, let me stay, I'm sorry, I'll be quiet!" She slapped a palm to her mouth to prove her point.

"Go to your room, sweetheart," Olivia said, "Let us talk to Noah alone for right now."

Outnumbered, Maggie stalked to her room with slumped shoulders. The boys now shared the twins' old room and Maggie had taken over Noah's former space. As soon as they heard the door close, Olivia angled the large armchair so she was directly facing Noah and sat down. Ed took a seat on the chaise, acknowledging Olivia would be taking the lead.

"Noah, first of all, I want you to know, everything I've told you, we've told you, about your life is true." Olivia paused to assess her son's initial reaction to the beginning of what was obviously going to be a gravely serious conversation. He appeared every bit his unflappable self, and Olivia took a deep, steadying breath before continuing. "But we left something out, and this...omission...is totally on me. It was my decision."

Another pause. Noah nodded in acknowledgement.

Olivia glanced at Ed for encouragement and he, too, nodded. Struck by the similarities in their nonverbal responses, almost all of the anxiety disappeared. It really was all going to be okay. Olivia continued, speaking slowly, and carefully choosing her words. "Ellie...was not honest about her upbringing," she said, "I'm not sure what was true and what was an exaggeration of certain circumstances, but, the whole truth is, her mother was alive, is alive, and that's who you saw tonight."

The wheels spun around and around in Noah's head. Ed instinctively moved closer to him. Olivia froze, for she could not tell what her son was thinking. Usually he wore his heart on his sleeve. He and Maggie always had trouble with their poker faces. Ed always joked that Wyatt would be the best of the three to take to Atlantic City should he and Olivia ever decide to embark on a casino weekend.

When Olivia and Ed first told Noah some of the more sordid details of Ellie's past, they had done so only because he kept asking questions. Even then, they'd watered the whole story down so it was age appropriate and they continued to do so until they couldn't anymore. Framing the Sheila concealment as the fault of Ellie was valid, but Olivia knew Noah wasn't going to let her off the hook that easily.

"I knew there was something about her," Noah said in a low, thoughtful voice, "More than...what Maggie said...someone who wasn't all there, mentally. Did she ever meet me? Before?"

"No," Olivia said, "Family court, we went to court, ruled in my favor. Left it up to me whether to give her visitation...and I said no...it was...what I thought was best, maybe it was selfish, but…" Olivia trailed off when she realized she didn't have much of a coherent argument. She hadn't wanted Sheila complicating their lives and the judge said she didn't have to. End of story.

During the lull, Ed finally spoke up, "Your mom and I wanted to protect you," he explained, "It seemed like the best decision at the time, and, honestly, bud? I still feel that way."

Noah bit his lip. Furrowed his brow. Ran his hands through his hair. Olivia wanted to point out each and every one of those mannerisms mimicked either one of hers or of Ed's. Moreover, Maggie's and Wyatt's nonverbal quirks were mostly replicas of their older brother's. She desperately wanted to point this out, that they were a strong family connected by shared experiences and stories and and inside jokes and wounds and triumphs and days at the beach and Uno tournaments...every single decision she and Ed had made over the past fifteen years had been right. Olivia desperately hoped, as they sat there in contemplative silence, that Noah would eventually agree.

…

#Tuckson