Sixty-seven.

Despite the shower and being ensconced next to Ed, sleep eluded Olivia. She stared at the iPad baby monitor and attempted to come to terms with what happened in the past forty-eight hours. Sheila had returned. Deep down, Olivia wrestled with, once again, telling her she had no place in their lives. Had the shoe been on the other foot she probably would have gone to unimaginable lengths to get her hands on Noah. She thought of her son, sleeping peacefully down the hall, curled up under his Pottery Barn comforter, his sweet head nestled among his four pillows-two regular, one shaped like a train, and the other a bright yellow smiley face. Olivia was sure he had fallen asleep on his side, head facing the window, with his left arm curled around Bernie. Noah was predictable that way.

Olivia snaked out from under Ed's arm and tiptoed out of the room. She crossed the apartment to take a peek at Maggie and Wyatt. The twins were sleeping peacefully on their backs, their arms bent at the elbows at ninety-degree angles. Wyatt's tiger Wubbanub laid below his mouth though his lips still moved ever so slightly as if the pacifier was still in his mouth. Maggie's pink plush baby doll was by her side. They were so perfect and Olivia's heart nearly burst while she adjusted their blankets, kissed her fingers and pressed them to each of their heads, unworried about waking them since they'd stayed up well past their bedtimes.

Next, Olivia made her way to Noah's room. He, too, was completely out. Olivia stood over the bed and took deep breaths. Her first grader smiled in his sleep. Noah was so content; he could have been the poster child for children's anything at that moment. Unable to contain the tears in her eyes, Olivia rushed back to the master bedroom. Ed was sitting up, groggy, yet clearly wondering why he was alone in bed.

"Liv?"

"I was…" she barely croaked the words.

Ed sprung to his feet and wrapped her in his arms. Shaking but not crying, Olivia collapsed into him. He ushered her back to bed and they laid against the mountain of pillows for several minutes until Olivia spoke again.

"It's so strange," she said, "To have everything I want right here, right now but be so terrified it'll be taken away."

"It's not going away, Liv. Nobody's taking anything away from you. Nothing, nobody is going away." Tears streamed down her cheeks and he wiped them away. He dared to plant a semi-passionate kiss on her mouth. It was a risky move, but sometimes only his actions could convey how much he wanted to make all her pain and anxieties go away.

Olivia responded by gripping his head with one hand and coaxing his body on top of hers with the other. "Ed, I love you."

"I love you, baby." With one forearm on the mattress, he brushed back the hair from her tear-filled eyes. He kissed her neck, cheeks, all over her face with great care and deliberation.

"Ed." The tears subsided. Her eyes pleaded with him to keep going, to keep loving her, and, most importantly, to take her away from reality for a while.

"Shhhhh," He kissed her again. More fiercely this time, and, while doing so, he worked them both out of their cotton sleepwear. The last garment to be tossed aside was Olivia's t-shirt and Ed used the brief pause to assure her, once more, that, as long as they were together, their family was safe, in tact, protected, and perfect. Inch by inch, he made his way down her body. Often, he was too deliberate, and Olivia's satisfied, moaned, Eds, were spoken with a hint of impatience. But not tonight. Olivia closed her eyes and savored every second from the moment he gently sucked at her neck to when he finished inside of her.

"I think," she sighed as she sank into his body and felt his arms lock across her torso, "This is my favorite part."

"It is?" Ed whispered back with mock incredulity.

"Okay, one of my favorites," she took one of his hands and kissed it. "It's...I've always loved how you hold me after. You always have done that, even when we were on a tight schedule; it's such an amazing feeling...and I feel it every time, like it's the first."

"It's perfect," Ed whispered in her ear, "I remember, after that first time, never wanting to let you go."

"Weren't quite sure you were going to get me back?"

"Well…"

Olivia shimmied around so she could see his smirk and the teasing glint in his eye. She touched his pursed lips before kissing them and whispering, "Cocky, Captain?"

"I kinda knew I was gonna getcha back," he admitted. "It was so good."

"It still is."

"Seriously?" The smirk was still plastered on his face.

Olivia slithered on top of him and held his face in her hands. "Seriously."

…..

Maggie rarely hesitated to talk to anyone, a characteristic that amused Ed and persistently caused Olivia to worry and warn her daughter about getting too friendly with people she did not know. When the Tuckers and another family shared the Magnificent Mile hotel elevator, it took Maggie all of thirty seconds to strike up a conversation with the other family's only child.

"Where'd ya get that?" Maggie asked the girl who was maybe a year younger than the twins. The object in question was a bright blue stuffed dolphin.

"Shedd Aquarium," the father replied after his shy daughter slunk into his legs.

Maggie squinted at her own parents, "We can go there, right?"

Olivia nodded.

Maggie turned back to the other family. "We're here on vacation but also for work 'cause my brother's in a comp'tition called Ac'demic Bowl. He's super smart so he knows all the answers then after the bowl we get ta go explore!" Maggie beamed and added, "But that's all for tomorrow. Today we're gonna only have fun 'cause it all doesn't start 'til tomorrow."

Ed smirked at his effusive daughter, cupped her head, and held her close. Olivia, Wyatt, and Noah all grinned apologetically at the family of three. When the elevator stopped at their floor, the father wished them luck in the competition and they hurried down the hall to their room. Once the doors closed, Maggie laughed haughtily.

"Hah!" She said, "We're on a super high floor! We on the top, Daddy?"

"Not quite, but close."

"Room with a view!"

Ed and Olivia exchanged amused glances. Where did Maggie come up with these things? On their floor, the family walked in a single file line to their suite. Each kid dragged a small rolling suitcase and wore a backpack. Noah's mostly contained study materials. Maggie's and Wyatt's were stuffed with headphones, tablets, summer reading books, drawing paper, colored pencils, and an assortment of snacks. At the door, Ed tapped the card and let the kids go in first. He and Olivia waited to hear their reactions to the city view with the Lake Michigan backdrop. They were not disappointed.

"WOW! Lookit! All that water!"

"Thatsa HUGE river!"

"It's a lake."

"It's GIGANTIC!"

"I bet that's where they get the fish for the aquarium."

"Where's American Girl? I don't see American Girl! Mommy said we could go there to check it out and see if they have different stuff!"

"And pizza! We gotta get pizza! Daddy said it's diff'rent!"

"They have all kinds of taxis here. Not just yellow…"

"This," Maggie spread her arms wide, "Is Chi-ca-go."

Ed wheeled the suitcase he and Olivia shared into the bedroom where a king-sized bed was set up facing floor-to-ceiling windows and a picturesque view of the coastline. Olivia hugged him from behind and rested her chin on his shoulder. "Fantastic view," she murmured.

"Yep," Ed turned around and kissed her, "This one's a little better, but, yep."

"Mommy! Noah says he has to study but me an' Wyatt wanna go swim!"

Their moment of solace over, Olivia and Ed joined the kids in the living room. They had, probably at Noah's direction, lined up their suitcases neatly against one wall. Wyatt was inspecting the entertainment system and Noah was reading the mini bar prices. "Five dollars for the Cliff Bar," he murmured in disbelief.

The main feature of the room was a giant, seventy-five-inch screen which allowed guests to do everything from play video games to order room service. There was a pull-out sofa, a loveseat, and a sleeper chair-enough space for Maggie, Wyatt, and Noah to each have their own sleeping space. Olivia was grateful to find the room, for nobody, she and Ed included, liked to share a bed with the perpetually-restless Maggie.

"How about we all go and get something to eat?" Olivia suggested, "And then Noah, you can study and one of us will take Maggs and Wyatt swimming? How does that sound?"

All three children agreed this sounded like a good plan, and they all eagerly wanted to try this strange kind of pizza Ed had been alluding to for the past week. They walked to one of the city's more famous and more touristy pizza restaurants. After a brief wait they were seated at a table in a loud, crowded dining room and inspected other parties' pies with great interest. Wyatt, in particular was intrigued. He sipped his orange soda and tracked the servers from kitchen to table.

"Those trays are prolly really heavy," he remarked.

When the Tuckers' food arrived, the pizza was met with mixed reviews.

"Crust is pretty good," Noah said, "But it's like...not pizza, it's a…"

"...casserole," Wyatt finished for him. "It's like the casserole we get at the deli!"

"I like it," Maggie said with her mouth full of cheese and pepperoni, "But it's kinda messy!"

"It's tastes good," Ed added, "But it's too thick for me. I'm always gonna be a New York pizza guy."

"Me too," Noah said.

"Me three," Wyatt chimed in.

Olivia grinned and said, "Me four."

All eyes were on Maggie who was voraciously finishing her first piece. She looked up, suddenly realizing the was the center of attention. Noah started to repeat the prompt, but Maggie interrupted him. She'd been listening all along.

"Mommy," said said sternly, "You can't be 'me four' b'cause Daddy said he's a pizza GUY! You're a girl!"

"Oh," Olivia covered her mouth, "I am so sorry. My mistake. I'll always be a New York pizza girl."

Even though Maggie helped herself to another portion, she nodded in agreement. "Me too, Mommy. Hey! What other weird food they have here?"

Wyatt replied immediately. "Hot dogs. They have hot dogs with slime green relish!"

"Slime? Wyatt, you can't have slime on a hoddog!"

Noah chuckled, "He said slime green, not slime. It was in the magazine on the airplane."

Maggie ignored him, "Slimy hoddogs!" She giggled uncontrollably, "Slimy hoddogs and fat pizza! This is a craaaaaazy place!"

All three Tucker kids laughed loudly, but it made no difference in the cacophonous space. Ed and Olivia shared one of their proud, we-love-our-family-so-much glances. Ed gave her thigh a squeeze and Olivia leaned over for a quick kiss. Most kids would have balked at this, but Noah, Maggie, and Wyatt were very much used to their parents engaging in public displays of affection. They teased one another about the "Chicago slime dogs" and mutually decided they would all try one for dinner, if that was, they would ever be hungry again after stuffing themselves with the "fat pizza."

….

Even though it was mid-September, the New York weather felt more like July or August. Stifling humidity blanketed the city, the sun beat down on residents and tourists from a cloudless sky, and parks, sidewalks, pubs, and shopping centers all seemed more crowded and boisterous than usual. Part of the reason for the extra energy was the arrival of football season and that both the Mets and Yankees were still alive in the baseball playoffs. Brooke chalked up the rest as people desperately trying to hold on to summer, even if that meant sweating on the subway platforms and higher ConEd bills.

"I'm glad we have AC in our school," Brooke said, "We only had window units when I was in the Bronx and, weather like this? We would've died."

"Oh, God, I can't imagine," Olivia replied, "By the end of the day it'd be ripe in there!"

"Oh for sure!" Brooke shuddered. She ran a hand through her short blonde hair which was now cut stylishly just above the nape of her neck. "Ugh, gross...I don't miss that. But...I hope they're all doing okay. They were all good kids, just had such a hard life, most of them. Compared to what I had on the Upper West Side? And now?"

"It's heartbreaking." Olivia watched the twins chase Noah around in the Prospect Park splash pad which remained open longer than scheduled due to the high temperatures. Sonny walked the perimeter, helping Sofia and also keeping an eye on the Tucker kids even though Noah was very cognizant of staying within the boundaries Olivia had set. Noah led the twins under a waterfall and they screeched with delight when they got sprayed. They were all still suntanned and their brown locks were a shade lighter thanks to the sunshine. Their bright swimwear-bright green for Wyatt and Noah and pink for Maggie punctuated their tans and also made them easy for Olivia to track. "I always feel bad, selfish, when I think about how Noah and the twins will grow up with...everything, every opportunity."

"You shouldn't feel guilty," Brooke said, picking at a few blades of grass. "The chips fall how they fall...and there are so many more opportunities for poor kids now than there were even five, ten years ago."

Olivia found it surprising how Brooke could talk about her past job so casually, almost flippantly, given that one of her former students had been shot and killed by her stepfather not more than two years ago. It was like she'd disconnected herself from that part of her life. However, she did quickly change subjects.

"Are you okay?" Brooke asked, "Sarah told me about the...grandmother…"

"I'm okay," Olivia replied after taking a deep breath. She assumed Brooke knew the history, so she didn't delve into the backstory. "Amanda Rollins had a detail on her until she left town; police in New Hampshire confirmed she's back there. I can't help but wonder, though, how often she comes back here to get a glimpse of Noah. I hadn't heard from her or seen her since the first time she came around. I assumed she'd given up, maybe moved across the country to put all this behind her, but I suppose that was my wishful thinking. Short of following Noah around for the rest of my life," Olivia spoke more cheerfully, "We've done everything we can do. Rollins even flagged her credit cards and her plates in case she decides to come back."

"Wow."

"Perks of two retired cops. Don't mess with our kids."

The Tucker trio came trotting over then, asking for drinks.

"Juice, Mama! Pease, Mama, juice!"

Wyatt tugged at the cooler lid himself and rummaged through the ice. He found a fruit punch juice box and handed it to Olivia, "Open, Mama, pease!"

Brooke grinned, "How did you get them to say please and thank you all the time? It's amazing."

"I think they picked it up from Noah and also, we sort of drilled it into them from the time they could talk. They do it only with food and drink though," Olivia joked, "We still have some work to do with toys and art supplies." She handed Wyatt his drink, "Be careful honey, take a sip. Don't squeeze."

Wyatt took three huge gulps. "Ahhhh! Do'squezze! Ta'youu Mama! No!" Wyatt pointed to the water, "Lessgo, No!"

"We're gonna rest here for a minute, Wyatt," Noah said, "Can't bring da drinks in there!"

"Bay! Bay, Book!" Maggie frantically gestured toward Sofia. She was crawling around at the edge of the pool, laughing as the soft waves lapped at her hands and knees. She wore a wide straw sunhat that tied around the chin and a yellow bathing suit. "Mama! Book! Bay!"

"It's okay, sweet girl, Sonny's there with her!" Olivia sat Maggie in her lap and pressed their cheeks together. The coolness of the water on Maggie's face was a welcome respite from the sticky air, "See, honey? Sof's Daddy is right there."

"Where Da?"

"Daddy's playing golf."

"GUFF!"

The twins watched Noah mimic a golf swing. They laughed at clapped at their brother's exaggerated strokes.

"I can't believe he's golfing," Brooke said. "He goes like once a year. How does he even enjoy it?"

"Especially on a day like today," Olivia said, "I hope he's hitting a lot of bad shots so he can stay in the shade. I'm sure he didn't wear any sunblock. But, the last time he went...he said he played well, but I think it's mostly a chance for him and the guys to hang out, catch up, and have a few beers." Olivia kissed Maggie's head and held her tightly, unconcerned her daughter was soaking wet, "It's good for him to get some alone time, or, well, some adult alone time."

Though she had no justification for it, Brooke was slightly taken aback by Olivia's comment. "I've never thought about him needing alone time," Brooke remarked, "He's always so all about you and Noah and the twins. Like, he never seems sick of it, and," she sighed good-naturedly, "We all get sick of it at some point."

Maggie spotted Noah and Wyatt heading back to the water and she wriggled back down. "Bye, Mama! Bye Book!" Then she screeched, "Wy! No! Magg go!" She caught up and Noah led the twins back into the ankle-deep water by their hands.

"That's funny," Olivia said, "I used to ask him, well, maybe it was more like me begging him to get out, go call up some of his friends, I know he has some-" Olivia and Brooke shared a chuckle, "But, other than the occasional drink with Cole, he always kind of said okay, and continued...being a Dad. He doesn't even see your uncle as much as he should."

Brooke laughed, "Uncle Johnny and my Dad are a year apart but John acts like he's ninety. No wonder when everyone found out you were having Maggie and Wyatt-John was like, how?"

Olivia grinned, "I think a lot of people asked that question. But they can ask all they want-look what we got." Her smile broadened and she lazer-focused on the kids for a minute, "But, at any rate, I think he's happy."

"Dad?"

"Yes."

"No question," Brooke said, "Sarah and I used to make fun of him, when we first met you, the way he'd light up when you walked in a room and then be all disappointed when you left even though he tried to hide it. And, now that I think of it, he's still that way...we're just used to it now. Now, that's default Dad."

"Default Dad…" Olivia murmured. Missing Ed at that moment, she picked up her phone and sent him a text message. "Let's check in on default Dad and see how he's playing and…, more importantly, if he's still alive. This heat's brutal."

…..

For a late February evening, the weather was pleasantly balmy, so Tucker and Benson chose to walk back to her building rather than hail a cab. Olivia had just been through the wringer, again at the center of a high profile case which had been impeded, at best, by Chief Dodds. She was content to let Mike take the reins for the weekend and enjoy a couple of days off with Noah and, she hoped, Ed. The weekend was off to a great start; they'd shared Tapas and wine, ordered dessert to go, and she was seconds from asking Tucker to spend the night when he asked about the leaked tape-the one that showed Rollins being assaulted by the actor and his bar owner friend.

"Alright, Benson, who leaked it?" Ed asked. He was smirking, jovial, and nudged her a bit which was easy since her arm was looped through his. Other than a few minutes at the beginning of the evening when Olivia vented about the verdict, they'd steered clear of police talk. However, Ed was curious about how it all went down and he'd had just enough wine and pre-date bourbon to gather the courage to ask.

"I am confident the leak did not come from my squad," Olivia said robotically, repeating part of what she'd told the Chief, the brass, and Sgt. Draper at One PP earlier that day.

"Aw, come on."

"First, tell me this," Olivia said, "Did you send Draper on purpose or were you actually busy?"

"I was ridiculously busy," Tucker replied in his deepest, sexiest voice. He was blatantly flirting and nudged Olivia again. He knew she was frustrated and annoyed, but he also knew they'd had a fantastic evening and guessed it probably wasn't over. He was eager to be in her apartment, on her couch, maybe sharing one last drink and many, many kisses before she invited him back to bed.

"Seriously?"

They approached a busy intersection and had to wait for the light to change. Ed held both her elbows and regarded her with his most earnest expression. "I would never lie to you, Lieutenant," he gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Never. So, seriously, I was that busy."

Olivia shot him one of her genuine grins, a smile that was rare and indicated she was truly happy or amused. "You busy for the rest of the night, Captain?"

"Not at all."

"Well," The light changed and she took his arm again. "That's very, very good news."

Ed broke into a haughty smirk.

"Oh, and," she said, "I honestly don't know for sure, but Mike had something to do with it."

"Mike Dodds?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'll be damned."

….

In an Uber on the way home from the golf course, Ed called to say he was about forty minutes out and wondered what they were doing for dinner. Olivia reported they'd been out all day and suggested, to Ed's approval, that they order in. Shortly after he called, Rollins sent Olivia a message asking if she would be available to meet with a family that night at the Center. On the phone, Ed sounded normal, sober, far from how he'd been the last time he'd spent the day at the golf course, so Olivia gave Rollins a tentative yes. However, when she met him as he shuffled through the doorway, it was obvious she was going to have to decline and assign their on-call counselor instead.

"Da! Dadada!"

"Daaaaaaaa!" Wyatt's voice vibrated with each of his running steps.

"Hi Daddy!" Noah skipped down the hall, but it was clear his energy had been sapped that afternoon. He came to an abrupt stop. "You're RED!"

Olivia put her hand on Ed's face. She could tell by his eyes he'd had a few drinks, but she had, perhaps, misjudged his intoxication level due to the nasty sunburn. "Ed, honey, come on, let's get some aloe on you." Olivia lifted one of his shirtsleeves. Sure enough, there was a clear division between the exposed skin and the part of his arm that had been covered during the round. "Jesus," she murmured, "Noah, I'm going to put the sunburn spray on Daddy. We'll be right back."

"Kay! C'mon, babies, lessgo finish da movie!"

Olivia heard the crunch of the three kids flopping back into the beanbags. Satisfied they were safe and content for the time being, she concentrated on her bleary-eyed, beet red husband.

"I'm fine," he insisted.

"Fine? Ed, honey, you're burnt to a crisp! You put sunscreen on at the beach all the time. Why not golf? You never put it on when you play. I think this happened last time, but, this is worse. You're going to get blisters."

He shrugged and his eyelids drooped. "I'm an idiot."

In spite of Olivia's disappointment that she had to personally pass on Rollins' request, she couldn't help but feel some sympathy for her husband. "No...you're not. You're...well, I think men on golf courses maybe think differently than they would otherwise."

"That, my dear, is very," Ed gave Olivia a sloppy kiss on the lips, "Very, very true. Mmmm, I missed you today."

"I missed you," Olivia cooed. She could feel the heat radiating from his skin, "But I'm glad you had a good time. Did you win? Come in here," she motioned toward the bathroom and found the aloe gel. He flinched when she first dabbed at his face. "Sorry," she said, "Hold still."

"It's cold."

"Your skin is a thousand degrees."

"I didn't win," Ed reported glumly.

"That's okay," Olivia said, "We still love you."

Ed let out a relieved sigh. He was about to lean in for another kiss when the sound of Noah's footsteps stopped him. "Hey bud," he said instead. "Mommy's fixin' me up."

"You look like Elmo!" Noah giggled and held up Olivia's phone, "Mommy dis is ringing a LOT!"

"Oh, crap," Olivia said, "I forgot to call Rollins back." She put the aloe bottle on the counter, "One second, hang on."

"You comin' back out here, Mommy?"

"Yes, sweet boy. Couple minutes. Let me finish with Daddy."

As soon as Noah was out of the room, Ed pawed at Olivia's hips and started kissing her neck. "You gonna finish with Daddy?" he whispered in her ear.

"First I need to call Rollins back," she said in a normal tone of voice even though Ed's kisses made her quiver and she tilted her neck back for more, "And then I'm going to finish putting aloe on Daddy so he's not in even more pain tomorrow. I'm surprised you're not hurting now."

"I might be…" Ed trailed off because Rollins picked up and Olivia explained she wouldn't be able to get to the Center. "Hey," he stepped back and looked at her apologetically, "I didn't know ya had to work tonight."

"I didn't. Something came up. Rollins called. It's no big deal-we have someone to take the emergency after hours cases."

"Then why'd she call you?"

Olivia continued applying the gel to Ed's neck and arms. "It was a whole family...mother and two kids, she thought it'd be something I'd want to take."

"Do you?"

"No," Olivia replied, "I want to be here."

"But you woulda taken it if-"

"-If we hadn't been apart all day?"

"Nah, if I hadn't been drinking all day."

"Ed, I'm retired," Olivia said firmly. She recapped the aloe bottle with a click and stored it under the sink, "My priority is right here. Right now. Yes," she admitted, ducking her eyes for a second, "Yes, I would have liked to be there tonight, but that's not my job. I have to learn, have to practice saying no, especially when we have competent people on staff."

"You did hire them," Ed pointed out with a smirk.

"I did." Olivia pecked at his lips and noticed they, too, had a reddish hue. "You are going to be a peeling mess in a couple days."

"If I am, you'll take care of me."

"You will be," Olivia said, "And yes, I will. C'mon. I ordered Chinese."

"Spicy Schezwan beef?"

"Yes."

"I love that."

Olivia handed him a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt. "I know you do."

"Thanks," he started to unbuckle his belt and noticed her leaving. "One more kiss?"

"Sure."

He kissed her and stared into her eyes. "Liv, I really am sorry about tonight, I shouldn't have-"

"-Stop," she put a hand on his chest, "Change. Couch. Kids movie. Spicy Schezwan beef."

"Yes ma'am."

….

#Tuckson