Eighty.
Hospitals, emergency rooms in particular, were almost as familar to Olivia as the 16th Precinct's SVU Squad Room. She knew the sounds-shuffling of rubber-soled feet, beeps, crackly all-calls (some urgent; others mundane), and the hushed voices of nurses, doctors, and other staff as they went about their shift duties in an almost robotic fashion. When arriving as a police officer, she, too, had an air of professionalism, but now, as a worried wife, fear and dread were etched on her face.
They lived only a mile or so from the hospital, so the ambulance ride wasn't long yet the brevity didn't make it any less stressful. The half-moon shapes created by Olivia digging her nails into her palm were still evident on her skin. Ed insisted the oxygen mask be removed, claiming it was restricting his airways rather than helping him breathe. Whether or not that was true was unclear, but it allowed him to talk to his wife without impediment.
"This really isn't necessary," he said.
Olivia kept one eye on the monitor and ignored him. "Are these vitals normal?" She asked the paramedic.
"Yes ma'am. Heart rate's a little elevated, but that's not surprising. Being transported in an ambulance will do that."
"Especially when you don't need to be," Ed grumbled.
"Honey, just...let them do their jobs please."
Ed let his head fall back onto the firm gurney padding. For the moment, Olivia won.
With no badge to get her into restricted areas, Olivia was relegated to the waiting room once they were at Mt. Sinai. She paced, sat, and paced more. It seemed like years before she was allowed to see Ed. When she did, he was sitting up in a hospital bed and looking every bit like her perfect, handsome husband-healthy, pissed off, and happy to see her.
"Ed." She draped her body over his.
"I'm fine, Liv. I didn't need to come here. I tried to tell everyone that."
"You collapsed-"
"I didn't collapse." Ed grimaced and rubbed his face with the hand that wasn't on Olivia's shoulders. He realized he'd been more out of it than he thought. "Dammit, the kids. Where are they? Noah okay?" Semi-collapsing, or whatever it was, in front of his children was something strong, protective fathers didn't do. How could he assure the kids, Noah in particular, that it wouldn't happen again? That Daddy was just as fierce as before?
Olivia hadn't had time to think about how to process any of the aftermath. Her one prayer, hope, wish was that Ed was going to be alive and conscious when she was finally allowed to see him. Now that one hurdle had been cleared, she had a million questions.
"Mr. Tucker?"
It would always sound strange to hear someone call Ed "Mister" instead of "Captain." Olivia jumped to her feet, shook the doctor's hand, and took a seat in the hard plastic chair adjacent to the bed. Ed wasn't in an actual hospital room; rather, he was placed in a narrow ER bay. With the chair, bed, and three people, there wasn't much room for anyone else or elaborate movement of any kind.
The doctor spoke in calm, even tones and immediately made Olivia feel relaxed. He echoed what the paramedic said. Ed's heart rate and blood pressure fell within the normal ranges. There was nothing in the preliminary tests that were alarming. "By process of elimination," he said, "And from what you reported, sir, it seems like a bout of reactive hypoglycemia."
Olivia grabbed Ed's hand. "This has never happened before," she said, eyeing Ed, "Has it?"
"No."
"Sometimes this condition can be an early indicator of diabetes, but, again, that doesn't seem to be the case here. I would like to keep you overnight to monitor your heart rate and blood pressure but-"
"-I'm not staying overnight," Ed muttered.
The doctor's face told Olivia the two of them had already engaged in this debate. She squeezed Ed's hand. Following the doctor's orders was usually something she did without question, but Ed really did look healthy and, selfishly, she did not want to return to the apartment without him.
The doctor sighed, "I understand. But, keep in mind what I told you. You have to eat better. You're a busy Dad with little kids, but you must eat like an adult."
Olivia raised her eyebrows.
"The nurse will be in with the glucose tablets and don't forget to follow up with your PCP."
"Got it. Thank you."
Olivia thanked the doctor as well and turned back to Ed. "What did he mean? Eat like an adult?"
Ed shrugged. "Most days, when it's just me and the twins, I eat what they eat. And not much of it."
Devastated, Olivia stroked his face and kissed his forehead. "Ed, honey." She had never given much thought to what Ed ate when she wasn't around. He wasn't much of a breakfast person, except on Saturday or Sunday mornings when he and Olivia made a huge late-morning feast. When they were all together, it was common for them to get lunch at a neighborhood restaurant after playing in the park or taking the twins to the toddler gym. However, lately, Olivia had been away in the afternoons, so the only meal she actually witnessed Ed consume was dinner.
"We're going to go home, get a good night's sleep, and this weekend I'll meal prep for next week," she rattled off her schedule, "I have to be on set with Wyatt Tuesday, then the Center Wednesday and Thursday morning, but I'll be home at lunch…"
Ed grabbed her hand, effectively hitting pause on her rambling. "Liv-"
"-I'm going to take care of you, Ed. I'll get that cookbook out and...no more Gerber Graduates leftovers for you."
Ed laughed and puckered his lips for a kiss. He wanted to get out of there, so he whispered, "Okay," and sat up, swinging his legs off the mattress. Olivia studied his body, looking for any signs of dizziness. Satisfied, she stepped back and he stood under his own power.
"I'm so glad you're okay," she blurted out and wrapped her arms around his sturdy chest.
Ed held Olivia tightly. He could feel her start to cry and he rubbed her back reassuringly. "I'll start takin' better care of myself, Liv," he said softly, "I promise."
"And don't forget the follow up appointment," she added in a shaky voice.
"I won't. I'll make it first thing in the morning."
"They open at seven."
"I'll call at six fifty-nine."
…
As Ed predicted, the Vidal family arrived in Bethany Beach mid-evening. As soon as the wheels of the black Ford Explorer crunched in the driveway, Maggie, Wyatt, and Noah ran out to meet them. They yanked open the back doors and enthusiastically greeted Mari and Anthony. This was their first time at the house and the Tucker kids were eager to show the newbies all of the fun things there were to do. Mari wasn't walking yet, so Sarah handed her over to Maggie without questioning whether or not she was old or strong enough to handle the baby. Maggie held Mari to her chest with two hands, and Olivia rushed over to help. When Sarah and Justin took custody of the siblings, Mari was skinny, estimated to be about four months old but underweight for that age. Now, at about ten months, her cheeks were chubby and her thighs were full of baby fat. She had a head of thick black hair and deeply-set brown eyes that often showed astonishment, especially when she was around the bouncing, shrieking, energetic Tucker clan.
Anthony had grown accustomed to the family, but it had taken several weeks before he settled in to the new norms of his life. He was protective of his sister and refused to leave her presence, so, even a quick errand to the market meant taking both kids or one of the adults going alone. Sarah wanted to enroll him in preschool but decided to wait until the fall. Instead, she and Justin took Anthony and Mari to swimming lessons and bought a membership to the toddler gym Maggie and Wyatt had attended so they could interact with other kids and still be in one another's presence. Slowly, Anthony got more comfortable, but he still clung to Justin when he became overwhelmed. Noah and Wyatt sticking their faces in front of his while he was still strapped in his car seat was definitely something that could trigger the little boy to call out for his Papi.
"Noah, Wyatt, give him some space," Olivia called over to them from the opposite side of the truck. She was bouncing Mari on her hip and whispering softly about the water and the sand and how Grandpa was going to make them a yummy dinner. "You all must be hungry?" Olivia speculated, "You couldn't have stopped?"
"Just at a rest area," Sarah said, slinging bags over her shoulders, "Snacks and juice boxes and bottles! Who said traveling with kids had to be a slog?"
Once Anthony was out of his seat, he let Wyatt and Noah take his hands and lead him into the house. Ed and Justin took care of the suitcases and Sarah dropped the bags in a corner of the dining room, explaining they were filled with toys and cups and other items they didn't need upstairs. "Let's go out," she said excitedly, holding her arms out for Mari. "Anthony, baby? Let's go see the beach cutie pie!" She spoke to him in English; she and Justin interchangeably used both languages.
Sarah wasn't sure if the sight and sound of the ocean and its waves would startle Anthony or not. She wondered if the setting would make him remember the slum of San Juan where he'd spent his first years of life and whether or not he would be scared, sad, or otherwise affected. He certainly had been old enough to remember his mother and any other family members, but he had spoken very little of them at the orphanage and Sarah hadn't tried to draw out any new information.
Maggie broke into a run as soon as they stepped off the porch. She sprinted down the flagstone path that led to the boardwalk and then the beach. Tall seagrass obstructed the little ones' views, but Mari, in her mother's arms, saw everything all at once-waves crashing to the shore, brightly colored umbrellas of those still lingering in the sand, the beach volleyball players, people playing frisbee and slamball, and the seagulls swooping in loops, probably searching for their dinner.
"C'mon!" Maggie shouted to the others from the end of the walk. She splayed her arms in a "V" above her head, "Itsa a beautiful day!"
"C'mon, Anthony," Wyatt said, "Let's run!"
The Tucker kids did not have the restrictions other children had when it came to running on surfaces that could potentially be dangerous and, consequently, at least at the Bethany house, Anthony wouldn't, either. The rules may materialize differently at the Gulf Coast condo. The boys took off to meet Maggie. When Olivia, Sarah, and Mari caught up they were midway to the water.
"Noah!" Sarah called, "Hold his hand, okay? Don't let him dive in!" Then, she sheepishly shrugged and added, "You never know."
Olivia gave her a friendly nudge, "Believe me. I get it."
"Ugh, Livvie," Sarah kissed Mari's head, "I hope this goes well."
"Why wouldn't it?"
"I'm worried about being away from home," Sarah said, "They've been doing so well and I think it's because we've been so consistent with their routines. I mean, every day, the same thing. Get up. I give Mari her bottle, get them breakfast, go to work and Justin takes care of the rest. I mean, I hesitate to feed them anything different! So...I'm hoping they, well, mostly Anthony, I'm hoping he's not totally glued to Justin the whole time."
Noah was unearthing shells and showing them to Anthony. Wyatt took the good ones from Noah and put them in the pockets of his trunks. Olivia smiled when she saw Anthony copying Wyatt and shoving shells in his own pockets.
"He seems good right now," Olivia said, "We didn't think to ask you about food. Ed's grilling hot dogs and burgers. I have potato salad, chips, the usual. We can run out and get something else if you think that'd be better." Sarah's revelation about food was news to Olivia. And it also seemed odd since Sarah had always been the one to pioneer Noah's culinary adventures. Nevertheless, Olivia understood how motherhood could alter even the most deeply-ingrained personality traits.
"No, no, don't do that. He's eaten all that stuff before. We've been kind of...going in spurts with food. Lately it's been pasta so some protein in hot dog form will be good."
"Mommy!" Wyatt ran up to Olivia. "I forgot my goggles! I gotta go get 'em!"
Olivia tousled Wyatt's brown hair, "I think you're okay without them, honey. We're not swimming. Daddy's making dinner."
"I gotta show 'em to Anthony! I told him he could see underwater and he's gotta see how they work! Sare Bear? Does Anthony have goggles?"
"Um, no."
"We gotta buy some." This was not a suggestion or a question. Wyatt was adamant. One way or another, he was getting Anthony a pair of goggles.
Olivia assured him they could make a trip to the closest surf shop after dinner. Wyatt grinned from ear to ear. His smile was electrifying. Wyatt was a happy child, but he, like his mother, was guarded. He was judicious when it came to doling out huge smiles like this one.
"When's dinner?" Wyatt asked.
"Soon," Olivia said. "Are you hungry?" For lunch they'd gone to their favorite pizza joint and eaten cheese slices on a boardwalk bench even though Ed and Maggie had stocked the fridge with goodies after their morning outing.
"I'm a SEVEN!" Wyatt said, using the Tucker family's rating scale. Seven meant he was ready for dinner. Eight meant one needed an immediate snack. Nine was an immediate BIG SNACK. Ten meant you were going to die.
"How 'bout you get everyone back up here and we'll go tell Daddy to get started. It won't take long."
"Wait Livvie," Sarah said, "Let's put Mari's legs in."
Wyatt lifted his arms, "Lemme take her." He had the benefit of both his father's and his mother's body composition. He was tall, sturdy, and often mistaken for older than a new eight. Even so, Olivia started to object, but Sarah gave Mari to Wyatt without hesitation. "Just don't go in with her. Just her legs."
"Kay."
Wyatt was careful and only let the crashing waves wash over Mari's feet and ankles. He went no farther than the shoreline. Mari getting wet, Maggie and Noah splashing around, and Wyatt doing a great job of handling his sister emboldened Anthony. He jumped up and down, lost his balance in the wet sand, and fell onto his bottom. Sarah yelped, but immediately started laughing when Anthony screeched in delight as the water washed over him.
"I think he's going to be just fine," Olivia wrapped her arm around Sarah's shoulders. She briefly wished she had her phone, but Sarah had hers and she ran to the shore, snapping photos in rapid fashion. Olivia smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. Sarah had been uncharacteristically nervous since Anthony and Mari came into her life, and it was refreshing to see her act like her old self-silly, cheerful, and using up half of her phone's memory on one photo session.
…..
It took an aggravatingly long time for Ed to be officially discharged, so it was well past everyone's bedtimes when he and Olivia arrived back home. Sarah had been given regular updates and Olivia told her not to worry about putting the kids to bed. The twins could sleep in and she thought maybe it would be a good idea to keep Noah home the next day. At the very least, to prove his Daddy was, indeed, healthy and okay. On the cab ride home, Ed objected to this idea.
"He needs to know everything's normal," Ed replied. "And I'm fine. Nothing's changing. Proceed as scheduled."
"Well, it's Friday, so I didn't have anything scheduled," Olivia said, "So that makes me happy." She chuckled a little and Ed raised his eyebrows. "You saying you're fine is a bit of a switch," she remarked.
"Are you convinced?"
"No."
"Well, I never am, either," he put his hand on her thigh, "But I'm gonna be less fine if Noah thinks there's something really wrong. And there's not."
"If you say so."
They were out of the cab by now but hadn't entered their building. There was no evidence Ed had been to the hospital. He and Olivia could have been returning from dinner for all anyone knew. But the doorman knew. The neighbors knew. And worse, his kids knew.
"I'm making the appointment in the morning," he said in a stern voice. "But right now...I need to be home. With you. With Noah and Maggie and Wyatt and they need to know I'm there."
Olivia knew exactly what Ed needed. He needed her to be strong right now and to believe him when he said he was fine, or at least to pretend to believe him for the sake of everyone else. They could talk later. There was a lot of heartache and terror they hid from the rest of their family, but they never hid it from one another. Not anymore.
Olivia kissed him. He held the back of her head and kissed her back, obviously attempting to prove there was nothing wrong. He expected Olivia to push him away but she backed him against a concrete barricade and continued the kiss. "Ed, I-"
"-I love you," he finished for her. "C'mon. Let's go home."
Olivia leaned into him and sighed, "Home sounds good."
…..
Cassidy loosened his tie and slowly spun around in his chair. His new digs-a cubicle within a maze of identical partitions on the floor that functioned as the heartbeat of New York's Internal Affairs Bureau-were drab and depressing, yet he wasn't eager to go home. The past week's events involving Nick Amaro threw Cassidy into the fire and forced him to split the hair of personal and professional loyalty. His relationship with Olivia was strained and it was evident that no matter how well he did his job, he would never be comfortable or accepted at IAB. Retirement increasingly seemed like the best option. Even if he requested a transfer after his trial reinstatement, his reputation had taken an irreparable hit.
From the corridor leading to the offices, a door slammed, then another, and the voices got closer. Cassidy turned around again to see Tucker and Draper walking to the elevators. They both sported dark suits, white shirts, plain ties, and the same cocky, haughty smirk. Cassidy thought Tucker would be the major pain in his ass, but Draper was equally austere and aloof. They made the perfect couple.
"Cassidy, you're still here?" Tucker asked though it was clear he didn't care if Cassidy spent the entire night at his desk. The question was most likely rhetorical and offered merely because it was impossible for Tucker to have pretended he didn't see the detective.
"Yeah, uh, just finishing up some things."
"Well, have a good night," Cole said.
"Yeah, thanks, you too."
A mischievous glint sparkled in Tucker's eyes, "Tell Sergeant Benson congratulations," he said.
Draper ducked his head to hide his amusement.
Cassidy screwed up his face. "For what?"
"You didn't hear?"
Now Draper was really struggling not to break out in laughter.
"Hear what?" Cassidy asked, getting more annoyed with each second.
"Cragen's out," Tucker reported, "And Benson's in." He puffed out his chest, filled with satisfaction. IAB was detested, but the NYPD grapevine ran right through its power structure. Tucker had known about Benson's promotion before she did.
"He still has a few months," Cassidy replied weakly. He was clearly out of the loop and there was no good reason for him to question Tucker.
"Apparently not."
"Tucker," Cole muttered, "I'm runnin' out of time if you want to get that drink."
"Oh, right," Tucker adjusted his coat, "See you Monday, Cassidy."
….
In an effort to give the kids some semblance of normalcy, Sarah made them take baths and get into their pajamas though Noah insisted on waiting for his parents to actually go to bed. Sarah understood. Despite Olivia's texts, she was not going to be totally calm until she saw her Dad. Without another adult to talk to, her mind wandered to dark places. It didn't help when she noticed Ed's abandoned phone on the table and his t-shirts and shorts tossed on the bed. She hated the eerie scene of someone snatched prematurely from his life. So, when Ed, clutching his glucose pills, and Olivia walked back into the apartment, she sprinted past Maggie, Wyatt, and Noah and wrapped them both in her signature bear hug.
"Omigod, omigod, omigod thank gawwwwd you're alive."
Ed hugged her back but mumbled, "You're bein' a little dramatic."
"I don't like health problems," Sarah griped.
"I don't have health problems."
A chorus of "Daddys" came from the children's mouths and they jumped around the adults. Ed picked up Noah first. "Thanks for bein' so brave, bud. I"m proud of you."
"Daddy you sick?"
"Nope," Ed replied, "I'm okay. The doctor told me I need to eat a little better."
"Like veg'bles and fruit?"
"Yeah."
"Mommy, we need to buy dat stuff!" Noah ordered, his face gravely serious.
"We will, honey. And we'll also make sure Daddy eats it."
"That's all?" Sarah asked incredulously.
Olivia explained they were following up with Ed's regular doctor and that he had been mostly living on a toddler's diet. She also added a self-deprecating joke about not keeping a very close eye on her husband. Then, she said, "It's late. Time for stories and bed."
After everyone was tucked in, Ed and Olivia went through their bedtime routines as if nothing was wrong. They climbed into bed and cuddled in the center. Olivia yawned. Ed held her close and kissed the back of her neck.
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you," Olivia replied, "And I'm so relieved you're okay and thankful you're here with me," Olivia squeezed her eyes closed and a few tears escaped. She'd learned from the few times she and Ed had been apart that sleeping without him was excruciatingly difficult.
"I'm here," Ed gently shifted positions so they were facing each other, "I'm here Liv." He kissed her lips and rested his cheek against hers. "I promise you I'm not goin' anywhere. I'll do whatever the doc tells me to do. Whatever you tell me to do. I am not leaving you." He kissed her again, this time with more passion, more force. One of his hands drifted to her lower back and then her hip.
"Ed…"
"What?" He innocently raised his eyebrows and looked her in the eyes.
"We can't...not tonight...you were...in the hospital."
"I've never felt better."
"I don't think it's a good idea."
"Okay." Ed easily relented, but he kissed her several more times.
"Remember, six fifty-nine tomorrow morning," Olivia murmured as she settled in against his chest.
"I'm tempted to call him at home right now."
"You're pouting."
"A little."
Olivia smiled and wrapped her fingers around his forearm. She wasn't changing her mind, but she loved being desired by Ed. The worst part of the night for him wasn't going to the ER or collapsing in front of his kids-it was not being allowed to make love to his wife.
"We'll see what the doctor says," Olivia added. "Hopefully we can get in to see him this week."
"This week?" Ed chuckled and kissed the back of her head, "No, no. Tomorrow. A week will not do."
….
#Tuckson