Eighty-four.

Saturday night's rain continued into Sunday morning and was forecast to hang around until the sun went down. From their bed, Ed and Olivia watched the drops pelt the bedroom windows. They didn't mind the weather. There was a certain romanticism in the dreariness. It reminded Olivia of one night, after one of their first dinner dates, when she and Ed walked home, huddled under a single umbrella, crushing soaked, fallen leaves under their feet as they shuffled to her building. She mentioned this to Ed. He smiled, tightened his hold on her, and, in the process, caught a glimpse of the twins on the iPad. They were both awake but not particularly eager to get out of bed. Assuming Noah was either still asleep or had found something quiet to occupy himself until everyone else woke up, it seemed the entire Tucker family was perfectly content to enjoy what was shaping up to be a lazy day at home.

Ed and Olivia allowed themselves alone time until seven-thirty and found Noah sitting at the island in front of a sheet of lined paper. To his left, sat his open pencil case. Olivia nuzzled the back of his head and asked what he was working on.

"Birthday list," he said.

"We do have a birthday coming up, don't we?"

"Yep! I'm gonna go up from six to seven!"

Olivia noticed he had divided the paper into three sections and asked what each was for. Noah tapped each area with the tip of his pencil as he explained.

"Dis one for presents. Dis one's for what to bring to school. And dis one's birthday dinner!"

"That is very helpful honey," Olivia said. Deep down she was relieved Noah wasn't interested in having elaborate birthday parties that included dozens of kids his age. He was fine with bringing cupcakes or some other treat to school and having his class sing him Happy Birthday. The actual celebration would be with his family and, if she was available, Mia. When Olivia mentioned the invitation to her father he said she'd be there as long as it wasn't her weekend to be at her mother's home on Long Island, and he still hadn't confirmed whether or not that was going to happen.

Ed brought the twins into the room. He held one under each arm. They giggled and squealed and reached out for Olivia and Noah before Ed sat them both on the island. Maggie and Wyatt reached for Noah's writing utensils.

"Color!" Wyatt said.

"No, Wyatt," Noah said sternly, "Dis my list and my plan!"

"Come here sweet twins," Olivia picked them up and put them on the floor, "Let's color down here." She laid out the large, two feet by three feet, pad of white paper and took the lid off their bucket of chunky crayons. She tossed two coloring books on the floor as well, but Maggie and Wyatt, like Noah, preferred the blank sheets.

Across from Noah, on the opposite side of the island, Ed spread out the New York Times. He and Olivia shared the paper and sipped coffee. When Noah mentioned breakfast, Ed checked the contents of the refrigerator.

"I'm gonna run to the market," he said, "We need bacon. Right, No? We need a big breakfast for this rainy day and we have to have bacon."

"Right, Daddy!"

"Wanna come with me?"

"Yes!" Noah carefully placed his pencils back in the case and closed the lid.

Olivia could tell he wasn't sure what to do with his list. "How about we put it in the drawer over there," she pointed to the credenza where she and Ed kept all their important documents, "It'll be safe."

"Kay!"

Noah climbed down and ran to change his clothes. Once in jeans and sweatshirts, he and Ed zipped their rain jackets, checked for their wallets, and headed out. Olivia sat on the floor with the twins. Maggie was using both hands to draw broad, swooping lines. Wyatt concentrated on coloring one corner of the page solid green.

"Daw, mama?" Maggie handed over one of her crayons.

"I'd love to draw with you." Olivia drew a sun and stick figures to represent each member of their family. She labeled each with their names and started adding hair, facial features, and clothing.

"Magg pink!"

"Yes! Good, Maggs! You're pink! Would you like another color? How about yellow? Or blue?"

"Magg PINK!"

Olivia grinned and filled in the rest of stick-figure-Maggie's outfit with the pink crayon. Then she sat back and watched her babies work on their masterpieces. Their pudgy toddler hands clutched the fat crayons in death-grip fashion. Wyatt sucked his lips inward in concentration; Maggie pursed hers. Maggie's artwork took up most of the page and she eventually added to Wyatt's area. Unbothered by the intrusion, he simply moved to another area of the page. As the paper became filled with their drawings, the twins looked like they were chasing one another around in a tight circle, searching for a sliver of blank white.

"Are you going to be hungry for breakfast?" Olivia asked.

"B'FAST!" Wyatt bellowed. He tossed his crayon aside and took a long drink from his sippy cup.

"Fre'fries!" Maggie said with a grin. "Fre'fries!"

Olivia laughed. "Not today, sweet girl. French fries for breakfast are for very special occasions."

….

The sunrise was muted by foggy skies, but the sight of the rays hitting the ocean waters was still picturesque. Ed stepped onto the porch and handed Olivia her coffee. They headed to the shore for their morning walk. The air was thick and it didn't take long for their skin to get sticky and beads of perspiration to form on their foreheads.

"Goddam," Ed muttered, "Glad we're here and not in the city, but shit, it's this hot already?"

"High nineties and humid," Olivia said. A wave rushed over their feet just then and she yelped a bit, "That's refreshing though. A lot of swimming today."

"I'm gonna have to get gas in the jet ski."

"Do you have enough to get to the marina?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?" Olivia raised her eyebrows. The trip to the marina took at least twenty minutes. It was on the bay side of Bethany Beach and if Ed got stranded in the Atlantic, even close to shore, she wasn't sure where the currents would take him.

Ed curled his arm around Olivia's shoulders and kissed the side of her head, "Yes I'm sure." He flung his coffee into the ocean, "I can't drink this. Too hot."

"Want to get an iced one?" They were approaching the boardwalk and a few cafes were open.

"Yeah, let's do that."

They trudged across the sand and stopped at the nearest breakfast joint. Iced coffees in hand, they continued the walk on the wooden slats until it ended and continued their stroll along the water. By the time they turned around for home, the beach was already dotted with colorful chairs and umbrellas and families setting up for the day and, probably, the night.

"How early you think we need to get a spot?" Ed asked about the parade, a Bethany Beach Fourth of July tradition.

Their home was situated on Atlantic Avenue but not on the parade route. However, all it would take was a glance down the street to see how quickly the area was filling up. Maggie, Wyatt, and Noah always did a great job monitoring the crowd. "Last year we were out there by eleven," she said, "Maybe we can send Noah and the twins with the cooler and they can save us a spot."

"Kids are so useful."

"They really are." Olivia's phone vibrated in her pocket. "Speaking of kids, Noah wants to know the plan for this morning," she reported. Noah wasn't a stickler for a set agenda, but he liked to begin each day with an idea of how the ensuing hours would unfold.

"You wanna go out for brunch?"

"It'll be crowded," Olivia said, "And Brooke and Sonny should be here soon…"

"Brunch at home? We'll force Justin to cook?"

"Excellent idea, Captain. I'll ask Sarah if we need to pick up anything on the way back." She sent a reply to Noah and the question to Sarah. "Do we have champagne left for mimosas?"

"I bought a whole case. There better be some left."

"I'm sure there is. Sarah doesn't drink as much as she used to."

"They're doin' a great job with the kids. I know she's been stressed out."

"At least she still has a sense of humor about it," Olivia said, "She jokes about how different it is to be responsible for her own kids as opposed to spoiling the hell out of ours and then returning them at the end of the day."

"I do kind of miss that," Ed quipped, "Now we have to spoil 'em."

"I know," Olivia sighed with mock scorn, "Such a pain…"

Ed chuckled and kissed Olivia again. "I love you, baby."

"Love you."

As they approached their home just north of the boardwalk, the areas of the beach adjacent to public parking lots were getting crowded even at this early hour. Sarah sent a shopping list, so Ed called Noah and told him to take their umbrellas and chairs out to the beach so their usual spot wasn't taken. Most visitors didn't venture too far into the more residential parts of the area, but, with the holiday, there was a good chance a few groups would wander farther away from central Bethany. Ed and Olivia walked back to the main road. On the way to the market they passed a small shack-like bar that always seemed to be open. Ed shook the ice in his otherwise empty cup.

"Can I treat ya to a drink, Lieutenant?"

Olivia grinned. It was not yet nine o'clock, but a drink alone with her husband before spending the rest of the day surrounded by ten other members of their family sounded nice. "Bloody Mary? They do make a good one here."

"Well then, let's go." There was no actual door to hold for her, so Ed put a hand on the small of Olivia's back and led her inside. He chuckled when he saw three other couples sitting at the bar, presumably with the same idea.

"It's going to be a great day," Olivia murmured after they made a toast and took their first sips.

Ed bit an olive off the garnish stick. "Already is."

Even though he was mid-chew, Olivia gave him a kiss and stared at him affectionately with her head resting against a fist. They would be celebrating their tenth anniversary at the end of this year and there was so much to appreciate about the last decade. Considering everything in its entirety was mind-boggling which was why Olivia cherished moments like this-little capsules of happiness that allowed her to zero in on one particular element of her amazing life.

"Now Liv," Ed tried his best to pretend he was gravely serious but his smirk betrayed the attempt, "You're gonna have to control yourself today. I dunno if we're gonna be able to sneak off somewhere."

"You're usually good at making that happen."

Swirling his glass, Ed nodded knowingly, "One of my lesser known talents."

Olivia threw her head back and laughed, "That's not something we really need to publicize."

…..

The urgency in Brooke's voice contrasted sharply with the sounds of Nickelodeon characters and Maggie's and Wyatt's voices. The twins were at the age where they actually played with rather than alongside each other, and their words had become easier to understand. They hammered away at the workbench, filled dump trucks with whatever it was they imagined they were creating, and transported the items to Noah's bean bag. A few minutes later, Maggie started transferring the heap of blocks to her kitchen where she put them inside the oven and closed the door with a flourish. Olivia watched the fanciful play and silently acknowledged how her world and Brooke's, on this day, were so drastically different.

"Can you do something?"

No, Olivia couldn't do anything. At least, not officially. She assumed Brooke knew as much but, out of desperation, had asked anyway.

Maggie opened the oven door and its contents spilled out. She shrieked with delight at the noise of the blocks hitting the parquet floor. Wyatt whirled around, eyes wide, and shouted "CASH! BOCK CASH!" He wheeled a dump truck over and loaded the blocks, dropping them in two at a time using both hands.

"Bear, WY!" Maggie ran to their bedroom and returned with three stuffed animals. She put them in the oven and slammed the door. As an afterthought, she added a few plastic vegetables and went back to the workbench.

"I have a terrible feeling about this."

No spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend liked to hear his or her significant other was going undercover. The clandestine nature of the assignments was maddening. There were no daily updates. Only under the most extraordinary of circumstances could officers contact family members, and undercover work was inherently dangerous. All it took for the operation to go south was one bad guy recognizing the agent, and there was no panic button, no way for his or her law enforcement friends to come rushing in.

Olivia suspected Brooke's bad feeling was born of uncertainty. Her own sense of trepidation had more factual merit. But certainly Rollins, Fin, and even Carisi himself remembered how many times Sonny had worked undercover among sex traffickers. Surely they'd vetted this new target and were sure they had no connections to the other rings SVU had busted over the years. But why did she feel like she was the only one who recognized this potentially lethal snag?

Besides…

"He left this morning."

Olivia wandered around the apartment. While she counseled Brooke with every reassuring line she could think of, she examined every single photograph hanging on the walls or sitting on the shelves. One of Olivia's favorite hobbies was swapping more recent photos for older ones, but there were a few constants-the wedding, the first family snap of their new family of five, and one of the three kids in profile sitting in the sand at sunset. She knew Brooke had dozens of her own family photographs displayed in the apartment in Fort Greene, and she could have been looking at them right now, wondering if, moving forward, future frames would include Sonny.

"Ed will be home soon," Olivia said, "He went to pick up Noah. I'll come over...walk you through the details, or, at least what I can tell you from prior experience...so you have some idea of what to expect."

"Thank you."

"I'll text you when I leave."

…...

Tucker watched the live broadcast of Sergeant Olivia Benson's confession and flames of rage burned in his chest. How in the hell did anyone let her do that? What was Murphy thinking over there at SVU? Tucker knew and respected Declan, but this strategy, whatever the aims, seemed drastically out of character for the level-headed officer. Later that evening when Draper informed him Benson had slipped her protective detail, presumably to pursue Lewis, Tucker snickered sardonically.

"Is this some kinda April Fools' joke?"

"Nope," Draper replied curtly. "The Sergeant has a death wish."

"Where's Cassidy?"

"At his desk."

"He know?"

Draper shrugged and his body language indicated he didn't want much more to do with the conversation. He shoved his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slumped. He shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Want me to send him in here? I'm on my way out."

"Yeah, thanks. Have a good night."

"Tucker?"

Ed looked up from his phone. He had been scrolling through contacts for someone who could give him the most up to date information on the search for Benson.

"She's tough," Draper said, "She'll be alright."

Ed's only reaction was to focus his attention back on his phone. Draper had been his partner for years now and surely he had picked up on clues that Tucker had developed some feelings for Olivia Benson. After the first round with Lewis, he wondered aloud how she was coping with the trauma. Tucker didn't have to offer Cassidy a way out of the Bronx courts. There were dozens of other officers who would have been willing to accept the assignment, but he chose Cassidy even though he privately criticized the embattled former detective. When Benson was promoted, Tucker had seemed a little too happy for her.

It had been about a month since Tucker had last seen the Sergeant. After Declan Murphy saved Rollins' career and possibly her freedom, Ed called Benson in and warned her to keep close tabs on her detective. He remembered how she'd taken the advisory with a quiet nod when he'd been expecting a sassy retort. A weariness he'd never seen before cast a pall over her face. It was as if some invisible demon was sucking the life out of her.

"Draper said you wanted to see me?" Cassidy poked his head in. He was unshaven and his tie was loose. He never looked comfortable in a suit.

"If you need to take some time off go ahead," Tucker said.

"For what?"

Had the situation not been so dire, Ed would have smirked. "Benson? She's MIA."

"What?" Cassidy yanked his phone from his jacket pocket and furiously pounded the screen.

"She's not gonna pick up, Cassidy. She's goin' after Lewis."

"Why would she do that?"

"I dunno...you tell me...surely you've spoken to her more recently than I have."

Cassidy glared at Tucker. He wasn't sure if the Lieutenant was getting a dig in at the recent breakup or if Tucker was merely being a sarcastic asshole and implying that someone so close to Olivia should have known what was going on in her head.

Tucker waited for a response. His countenance was haughty and practically dared Cassidy to lash out at him.

Keeping his cool, Cassidy replied, "We're not...living together anymore."

"Oh. Sorry to hear that," murmured Tucker who didn't sound the least bit sympathetic.

Cassidy grunted but ignored the flippant reply. "I'm, uh, gonna get out of here...maybe see if I can pick up anything on the scanner...check in with Tutuola, or…"

"I'll let you know if I hear anything."

Cassidy wasn't sure he believed Tucker but he nevertheless thanked him.

Ed waited until Cassidy's footsteps faded before calling one of his buddies from Hostage Negotiation. He was positive, from there, he'd be able to receive timely updates on the whereabouts of Sergeant Benson.

….

Olivia spent more than three hours with Brooke and left with great reluctance. Conversations with her were always challenging. Despite the nervousness during the phone call, Brooke tried to convince Olivia she'd calmed down and had made peace with the fact Sonny was walking into a dangerous situation. After all, it wasn't the first time he'd been undercover. Olivia sent him undercover more than once. He'd survived being in the line of fire. Her husband was a good cop-competent, confident, and smart. He could handle it, and she trusted that if he felt too much heat, he would get out. Olivia patiently listened to her reasoning. When Brooke fell silent and started pacing the room, Olivia hugged her. Only then did she break down in sobs.

"It was...excruciating," Olivia told Ed that night as they curled up together under the covers. "All I could do was hug her. I couldn't say it'll be okay, I couldn't say everything was under control. Hug her...tell her we're here for her...that we love her. That's it."

"You told her the truth," Ed whispered. "We'll take care of her while he's under. And she knows that. She knows we're not gonna let her suffer by herself. And, on the other side, we gotta trust the operation."

"She kept saying she has this deep fear unlike anything she's ever experienced before. And I couldn't rationalize that; I couldn't walk her out of it...because how do you tell someone their terror isn't justified?"

"And what do you think? Do you think she's overreacting?"

"How many times have we seen this same situation play out? And, most of the time, the worst thing that happens is UCs are under for too long, they lose touch with reality, alienate their families, hell, look at Declan...he's probably going to end up living as his alias longer than with his own name. The only thing different here, this time, is there's a higher than normal risk of someone making him."

Ed ran his fingers up and down her arms. "When you took down those rings...everyone go in? Anyone get a deal?"

"Not a deal with no prison time. And most of the johns we busted, I'd like to think, they wouldn't go back to their old ways after ruining their marriages...losing jobs... But you never know. There's always someone with nothing to lose." Olivia stretched backward, kissed the bottom of Ed's chin, and asked if he would be comfortable sending anyone, let alone his son-in-law, into this situation.

"As long as I'd done my homework, I'd be fine with it," Ed replied. "And they have, Liv. And I don't believe Carisi would be reckless, not with Brooke and Sofia at home."

"Good point."

"So...we wait. Fingers crossed. Have some faith. Get info when we can."

"You're right." Olivia kissed his hands, then his wrists. He still had a hint of a tan line where he wore his watch even though it was November; she found that little detail sexy. She switched positions so she could properly kiss him. Minutes later, she scratched his chest over his t-shirt and wedged one of her legs between his.

"Didn't think you'd want to do anything tonight," he said softly.

"I do," she replied, "Do you?"

"Yes."

She rose to her knees and slowly removed her shirt.

"Damn," Ed licked his lips and reached for her, "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

…..

#Tuckson