Eighty-eight. (Sorry it's been so long since the last update! New job is taking up 99.9% of my time!)

Sporting cinnamon and sugar moustaches, Noah and Mia chattered away incessantly between bites of doughnuts. Mia boasted that her mother's horses were much faster and stronger than the ponies they'd ridden earlier that day, but she admitted today's animals were very nice and friendly. At one point, through giggles, she said she wanted to take one home to the city. They meandered into the pumpkin patch and assessed the offerings. Mia took her time, circled each one, and crouched to see if they were black underneath.

"We don't want DEAD pumpkins!" She exclaimed in her congested-sounding, little kid voice. Noah nodded and dutifully followed her lead.

The twins delighted in stomping the straw beneath their feet. They grew adept at finding dry pieces that hadn't been matted down by the Saturday foot traffic. "Cunch!" they'd shout after each step or jump. "Cunch!" Every few minutes they looked back at their parents and flashed proud smiles. Ed and Olivia grinned back. The twins growing up conjured mixed feelings, but it was fun to see them actively participate in outings like this one.

"Daddy?" Noah asked, "Why they still have pumpkins and it's already been Halloween?"

"Because pumpkins are part of fall," Ed replied, "People still like to have 'em for November"

"Oh, yeah, like Gramma has one on her table!"

"Gramma has a PUNKIN on her table?" Mia asked incredulously.

"Jus' a little one," Noah said, "Itsa corn-cup-a."

"A corncuppa?"

"Yep! Has corn and some other stuff and two really little pumpkins," Noah cupped both hands to show Mia their size. "Like dis."

People on a hayride passed by, and before Noah and Mia could ask, Olivia assured them they would go a little later. They continued their walk through the patch, selected two pumpkins even though they hadn't planned on buying any, and headed over to the bouncy slide for the second time that day. It was the final weekend of the farm's fall festival season and the premises was packed with families squeezing in one last visit on the perfect autumn afternoon. The sunny skies and low-sixties temperatures were a welcome respite from the cold, rainy October and the short-lived but unsettling partial blackout of the week before.

Instead of crawling up an unsteady rope ladder, kids used inflatable steps to reach the top of the slide, so Ed and Olivia were perfectly comfortable with letting Noah and Mia escort the twins to the top. They both snapped photos of the foursome in various stages of descent and laughed at their facial expressions in the images.

"They didn't have the slide here when we brought Noah way back a few years ago," Ed remarked.

"No, but, we didn't come to this farm," Olivia replied.

"Yes we did."

"Ed," she grinned, "No, we didn't. We went to one in New Jersey."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." She grabbed a handful of his jacket and kissed his cheek.

"If you say so," he said. "I do remember Noah bein' really little though. We would've had to go down the slide with him."

"You would've gone."

"Hell yeah I would have." He gazed at her, eyes oozing with sincerity, "I wanted to be invited back."

"And look," Olivia waved her arm around in a sweeping motion, "You're way more than invited back, Captain."

"Yeah," he said with a smirk, "Not bad for a guy who woulda been happy with a regular date once a week."

Olivia elbowed his side, "Liar."

Ed slung his arm around Olivia's shoulders, kissed her, and kept her close. "I think if I woulda told you I wanted to marry you and have more kids that woulda been a little much for that point in our relationship."

Laughing, Olivia conceded his point. "I would have thought you were insane," she said, "But...I think it all worked out pretty well."

"Sure did."

A few minutes later, Ed whistled and waved over the kids. Their jeans were streaked with dirt and their hands were grubby. Maggie and Wyatt babbled along with Mia and Noah about their races down the slide. When Olivia asked if they were ready to head home, the question was met with a resounding no.

"We gotta go target shootin!" Mia said.

"Oh, yes, can't forget that," said Olivia of the apple cannon range where guests shot overripe apples through rudimentary cannons at a series of targets.

"You guys can do this one with us!" Noah said graciously, feeling guilty about the younger set having all the fun on the slides while the parents stood at the bottom with nothing to do but watch and talk.

Ed stretched his arms and rolled his neck in slow circles, "I'm gonna win this one," he stated confidently. "Care to make a bet?" He asked Olivia.

Noah overheard the question and responded. "Whoever wins...is the BOSS!"

Maggie and Wyatt, remembering their favorite movie, enthusiastically echoed him.

Knowing their wagers never resulted in someone actually losing, Olivia agreed. "I win, I'm the boss for the night. You win, you're the boss," she whispered to her husband, delighting in seeing his cheeks get red.

In an equally hushed voice, he replied, "Fine with me."

"LESSGO!"

"Le'go le'go!"

Olivia swatted at Ed's back pockets and winked.

"Let's go."

….

In the throes of crisis, Sarah seemed smaller, childlike, and insecure. She hugged her knees and wrung her hands. Earlier she'd been crying, sobbing really, but now she was silent and stared out of the window, letting the tears stream down her face. Olivia patiently waited and watched Sarah's chest heave and her chin tremble. Always one to welcome a hug, Sarah didn't seem eager for any affection, so Olivia kept her distance and leaned against the wall careful not to so much as touch Sarah's toes.

"What am I going to do, Livvie?" Sarah asked in a weak voice.

Wishing the question was rhetorical, Olivia took a few seconds to formulate a response. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking…" Sarah struggled for words at first. She bit and twisted her lower lip, sighed, and still refused to look at Olivia, "I'm thinking...fuck the doctors and I'm thinking I'm, we, are already barely keeping up with two kids and now...a baby? And now that I've said that I feel awful, guilty, because," she glanced down at her stomach and her voice softened, "A baby…"

Daring to reach for Sarah's hands, Olivia echoed, "A baby."

"What if, Livvie, I've been drinking," Sarah finally made desperate eye contact, "What if…"

"The risk so early on," Olivia said, "Is low. You can't be that far along?"

"I don't think so."

Olivia couldn't take it anymore. She collected Sarah into her arms and held her like she'd held her younger children when they were upset. "It's okay," she said over and over while gently rocking back and forth, "Everything will be okay."

The sound of the kids bounding up the stairs, presumably to change into beach gear, made Sarah sit up with a jolt and slap at her eyes. "I...I don't know...I can't do this right now."

"-Everyone thinks you're sick."

"You mean hungover."

"Yeah," Olivia reluctantly admitted.

"Livvie, I...I'm sorry but...I think I...want to be alone," Sarah pronounced each word apologetically, "I...can we pretend I'm hungover...for today?"

Olivia kissed her forehead, "Okay. Our secret. But...the longer you keep it inside, the tougher it gets. Keep that in mind?"

"I will."

…

Ed held himself push-up style over Olivia, smirked, and asked where he should start. When Olivia gave him a funny look he reminded her that she'd won the apple cannon target shoot and she had earned the right to be the boss. He refused to move without direction.

"Kiss me," she said.

Ed gave her a peck on the lips. "That all?"

"One more," Olivia held his head in place. They kissed but she managed to whisper, "Come closer." Ed let himself fall on top of her and she sighed into his mouth before tilting her head to one side and touching her neck. "Here," she instructed.

"Like this?" Ed gently sucked her skin and looked up for approval.

"Yesss."

"Stay here?"

"Lower," she commanded. Olivia moaned as Ed buried his face in her chest. His body was hot and firm, and the way he always took foreplay so seriously never failed to thrill her. "Keep going," she said.

Ed grinned and trailed kisses down her body. He looked up again.

"Lower," Olivia implored. "But...go slow."

"Yes ma'am." Ed followed the same pattern on each leg. He ran his fingertips up and down, from knee to thigh, before tracing the same path with his tongue. By the time he blew cool air between her legs, she was already starting to squirm and resisted the urge to scream. It never failed. Before Ed took her to the point where she could no longer form coherent thoughts, she couldn't help but be amazed at how unbelievably euphoric Ed could make her feel and how selfless he was in loving her. Right after she came, as he kissed his way back up her body, she chuckled, thinking about how inaccurate Ed had been that afternoon at the apple cannon. Seconds after making the bet, he'd probably started anticipating this moment-watching her utterly sated and satisfied. It had been his plan all along.

…

"Darts?"

Ed sensed Olivia needed a diversion from police talk and other serious matters, so he jerked his head toward the well-worn dart board bolted to the wall in a back corner of the narrow bar. She grinned, nodded, and followed him, drink in hand, along the threadbare carpeting. Ed wrote their names on the slate with one of the broken chalk nubs. Olivia's heart skipped a beat when she saw Ed scrawl her letters and wondered what it would be like to receive a handwritten card or note from him.

He handed Olivia the darts and asked, "Know how to play?"

Olivia rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue. She snatched the darts and toed the frayed piece of duct tape demarcating the throwing boundaries. Squinting one eye, she aimed and fired.

"Guess that answers that," Ed mumbled as her first throw landed close to the bullseye.

Olivia smiled triumphantly and completed her turn. She made the appropriate hash marks with the chalk and turned to watch Ed. His light blue oxford pulled a little from his jeans, and, once again, Olivia found herself the captive of a quick but vivid daydream. What would it be like to untuck that shirt? To feel the skin underneath?

Ed was no slouch and he had a better round than Olivia, closing out his 17s in one turn. He shot her a triumphant smirk and tried not to gloat.

Olivia raised her eyebrows approvingly, "Okay...I see...this won't be an easy victory…"

"Care to make it interesting?"

Ignoring her nerves, Olivia replied, "How interesting?"

"Loser has to tell the winner somethin' the winner doesn't already know. Somethin," Ed hesitated for a moment and placed the darts in her hand, "Somethin...personal." Had it not been for the drinks, he would have never had the guts to make the proposition. Part of him was terrified Olivia would throw the darts to the side and bolt.

To his surprise, she marched to the line for her second turn and said, "Deal."

The game was close and Ed and Olivia gradually dared to move within close proximity to one another. They bumped elbows when switching places and held on too long when transferring the darts. Ed's fast, precise start did not last the entire game. Either by design or because of the bourbon, he faltered and Olivia ended up victorious. They were alone in the back of the bar and they huddled over a small round table and their half-consumed drinks.

"You don't have to...tell me anything," Olivia mumbled.

"Bet's a bet," Ed replied, "And I'm a man of my word."

"Is that the personal revelation?" Olivia teased.

"No," Ed's smirk faded slightly, "But...okay, at the risk of depressin' ya, well, I have a brother, well, had a brother. Jack. He was killed in an accident. Car came up on the curb while we were walking home one night. Drunk guy."

"Oh my God," Olivia gasped.

"Yeah…"

"How old?"

"Eight."

"That's…" Olivia pressed her eyes closed, "That's horrible. Your poor mother...and you!" She stared at him with wide eyes, "You saw it all?"

"Whole thing."

"Ed," Olivia grabbed his hands and squeezed his fingers, "I'm...I'm so sorry it's, God, I can't imagine...all the way around...tragic."

Ed forced a self-deprecating chuckle, "I, uh, maybe I went overboard with that personal detail," he said.

"Maybe a little," Olivia replied. She was still holding his hands, "But I understand why you wanted to tell me."

Ed smiled shyly. It wouldn't be the first time his motives were detected by the Lieutenant.

"If…" Olivia took a deep breath and looked around to buy a few extra seconds, "Wait. No. Not if." She leaned in for a kiss and it boosted her confidence. "This is what people do, right? They talk and drink and get to know each other and like each other and reveal secrets...even if they're painful."

"Yeah," Ed replied, "I think that's how it goes."

"Does it...does the accident...still haunt you?"

"Sometimes. I dunno...my whole family...after the funeral, we, uh, we kinda never talked about it. Maybe outta respect for my mom? But, I always felt bad about that."

They locked eyes and didn't speak for a long time. At least for one or maybe two of the classic rock songs playing from the decades-old jukebox. Exchanging words wasn't necessary. They'd found more common ground. Ed trusted her with a deep, tragic detail from his life that he'd tried his best to keep buried in the past. While he intended the admission to help her understand him, the result actually happened. Ed Tucker revealed he had an idea of what it was like to be her.

"C'mon," Ed said after they'd finished their drinks, "I'll walk you home."

Olivia smiled. Ed turned to return the darts, but Olivia tugged on his wrist. She kissed him on the lips and whispered, "Thank you for telling me."

"Thought you should know."

…..

As soon as Noah walked into Barba's victory party, one of the staffers waved and ran over. The man fist-bumped with Noah and introduced himself to Ed and Olivia before crouching and greeting Maggie and Wyatt. The twins, a bit bewildered by the already-raucous atmosphere, clung to their parents' legs. Olivia picked up Wyatt, kissed his cheek, and straightened his navy bow tie. Everyone was in formal wear tonight, and they were fashionably late because Olivia made everyone participate in her amateur photo shoot before they left home.

Shortly after they found their table, Barba came over and took a seat. His own bow tie was already loose and his face was flushed with excitement and pride. He spoke quickly and loudly and drank from a tumbler full of scotch.

"Couldn't have done any of it without you Noah," Barba gushed, "You coming up with the phrase that I'll turn the lights on was genius."

"He came up with that?" Olivia asked.

"Yep," Barba replied, "He asked me if I could turn them back on and everyone's eyes got wide. They knew we had a winning tagline. Heck of a job, young man."

Noah beamed.

"I owe you one," Barba continued, "When you run for office, I'll be your campaign manager."

Noah shook his head, "I haveta fix da subway when I grow up," Noah said, "Cause sometimes it rains in there and da trains are late, so I haveta fix it!"

"You can do that, too," Barba said, "You'll see. So," he took another drink and slapped his knees, "What do I have to do to get Olivie Benson, er, Olivia Tucker on my team?"

Olivia glanced at Ed and laughed nervously, "I don't think that's gonna happen," she said, "I think I have more to do now than I did when I was with the squad." Of course, this was obviously not true, but with the Benson Center and the commitment to the show, she had more to do than the typical retiree.

Ed did his best to seem unbothered by Barba's question. He kept one eye on Maggie who was slowly drifting toward the dance floor. Her sippy cup dangled from one hand and she bobbed her head to the salsa music. Olivia dressed her in a frock with a solid navy top that gave way to a frilly, flared bottom printed with tiny white flowers. On her feet were navy mary janes and a section of her brown hair was held in place by a white, star-shaped barrette. Deciding it was best if he left Olivia and Barba alone for a few minutes, Ed got up and held out his hands.

"Wanna dance, baby girl?" he asked. He grabbed the sippy cup and tossed it into their bag. Maggie took his hand and Ed twirled her onto the dance floor.

Seeing this, Noah took Wyatt's hand, "C'mon! Let's go dance! Mommy? You gonna dance?"

"In a few minutes, honey. Let me finish talking to Raf."

"Okay!"

She turned around and faced Barba, "You're not serious, are you? What would you need me on your staff for?"

"What would I not need you for? You understand people, Liv. You have ideas, you see the big picture, and I'm in a position to have some influence now, to be on the proactive side rather than the reactive one. Can you imagine the possibilities?"

Never one to trust the political system, Olivia doubtfully furrowed her brow. "I'm so happy for you," she said softly, "I really am. And I love seeing you so excited and optimistic and rejuvenated. But what you're talking about, it's not right for me. I can't be pulled in another direction."

"Ah, don't tell me that," Barba said, "You told me yourself the work on the show wasn't consistent and you make your own hours at the Center. Hell, you could work out of the Center office if you wanted-"

"-It's almost a hundred blocks from your district."

"You'll have an office in my building too."

Olivia took a drink of wine and sat back in her chair. Barba was still sitting on the edge of his, looking intense and like he was preparing for battle. She knew he wasn't going to take no for an answer, at least not now and she was in a hurry to join her family on the dance floor. Maggie and Wyatt were shrieking with joy, and she wanted in on the fun.

"Let me sleep on it," Olivia said. "I can't think about the heavy stuff tonight."

"You're right," Barba replied, "My fault. You came here to have fun, not to attend a job interview."

"Oh, you made it sound like it was a lock."

"Oh it is," Barba said, "But, you know me, always one to avoid any semblance of impropriety."

Olivia stood and patted his shoulder. "You're going to be great, Rafael," she said, "The Assembly and your constituents are lucky to have you."

"And you," he added with a wry grin.

Olivia rolled her eyes and spun on her heel The sequins sewn into her crimson sheath dress caught the light and caused him to blink. When Barba opened his eyes she was already in Ed's arms.

…

#Tuckson