Ninety-five.

When he heard one of the twins wake up from their afternoon nap, Ed wasted no time tiptoeing into the room (in case the other was still snoozing) and springing the toddlers from their cribs. Neither Maggie nor Wyatt slept very long during the day any more, but during that hour or ninety minutes, if he was alone, Ed found himself extremely bored, almost depressingly so. Until a few years ago, passing non-work hours by himself was normal, but he had become so used to having people around that the quiet and stillness of the apartment unnerved him.

The Monday after Thanksgiving brought with it the return of routine. Noah went back to school and Olivia split her day between the Center and Barba's office. After he'd incessantly asked for her help, Olivia agreed to join his transition team and warned him her tenure only extended until he officially took office. However, Ed saw the glint in her eye when she talked about the work ahead and knew there was no way she'd abandon Barba in January. Adding to her agenda were visits to the show's production offices; filming was on hiatus until mid-December, but the writers were hard at work developing the second half of the inaugural season. The series was a hit, and the streaming service had ordered more episodes. Almost five months into retirement and the Tuckers' world didn't look much different than it had looked when Olivia was working.

After dropping Noah off at school, Ed and the twins hurried back home. Winter-like weather had arrived, and there was no chance for a stop at the playground. The twins played in the living room while he put a few things away, made beds, and emptied the dishwasher. The apartment in order, Ed poured himself a second cup of coffee and read the newspaper at the island. The twins were perfectly content. Maggie loaded her toy stroller with small toys and delivered them, one by one, to Ed. He thanked her and lined up the items on the island. Wyatt busied himself by driving cars along a mat printed with an overlay of city streets and buildings. Every few minutes he would look up at Ed, select a car, and describe it.

"P'lice!"

"Truck!"

"Dada Cah!"

"Cah on my sirt!" Wyatt slapped his chest and smiled when Ed praised him for recognizing the similarities between the racecar printed on his t-shirt and the one in his hand.

He fed the twins lunch at the large table and watched them carefully stab pieces of chicken, vegetables, and pasta with their plastic forks. Ed talked about the prospect of playing in the snow soon and the twins babbled enthusiastically about snow, sledding, and Santa Claus. Their words were intelligible about half the time, but when Maggie and Wyatt spoke to each other they seemed to understand each and every word.

After lunch, while the twins slept, Ed paged through a magazine and absent-mindedly flipped through the news channels on television. The time dragged, and Ed grabbed Noah's iPad to play Tetris. Finally, he heard Wyatt's voice followed by Maggie's.

"Da!"

"Dada! Ouuuuut!"

"No!"

"No, Ouuuuut!"

When Ed entered the room, Maggie had wedged a foot between the crib slats and was trying to climb out on her own. Wyatt desperately reached out for Ed and giggled when his Daddy swung him high in the air.

"There ya go, pal," he said as he stood Wyatt on the floor. "You're free. C'mon, Maggs," Ed lifted her out of the crib and kissed her cheeks, "No climbin' outta there."

"No, cimb! No ge'me OUT!"

"I know he gets ya out," Ed replied softly. He raised his eyebrows at an idea that popped into his head. "C'mon, you two." He poured juice and sat with the twins on the couch with the iPad in his lap. "Let's look at some new beds."

Ed did an image search for toddler beds. Maggie and Wyatt were interested and screeched and squealed at beds they liked. There were garish cartoon-character designs Ed was sure Olivia would veto. The twins also pointed out tent beds, one in the design of a tree house, and another fashioned after an airplane. "You wanna sleep in a bed like this?" Ed asked.

"No bed!" Maggie said.

"Yeah, you're gonna get a bed kinda like Noah's. No more crib."

"Bye Bye Crib!" Wyatt said and then erupted into giggles. He toppled over into Ed's lap and laughed even harder when Maggie piled on. Ed tickled their bellies until they were gasping for air.

"Now," he said as Maggie and Wyatt sipped their juice, "Mommy's gonna be a little sad about these beds at first. So we gotta be extra nice to her, okay? Lotsa extra hugs and kisses for Mommy." The twins' big blue eyes grew wide in response to Ed's serious tone. They stared at Ed. He nodded and they did the same. "Alright. Look at the time! Time to go get Noah. Let's get your coats."

The twins scrambled off the couch and into the foyer chanting, "Get No!" Wyatt found his knit cap and yanked it on his head. Maggie sat on the floor and tugged on her boots.

"Stroller, Dah!"

"Yep, we're goin' in the stroller."

"Gotta get No!"

Ed assured Wyatt they were definitely going to get Noah. The twins, too, preferred everyone to be all together. He zipped the twins into their parkas, put on their mittens, and buckled them into their seats. "Alright," he said, "Let's go."

"Get NO!"

"Yes," Ed replied sweetly, "We're goin' to get No."

"Ge'Mama?"

"No, we'll see Mama later.

"Where Mama?"

"She's at work," Ed said with a gulp, "But we'll see her later. And remember, hugs and kisses for her."

"Bye bye crib!" Wyatt said.

Once in the elevator, the twins were distracted by the buttons and a neighbor who joined them halfway down. They rolled through the lobby and waved goodbye to the familiar doorman. After a block, snowflakes started to fall and the twins squealed in delight. Never one to love the cold weather, Ed nevertheless experienced some jolts of excitement. Three months of sledding, ice skating, and snowman-building were ahead of them, and he knew the kids would enjoy every second.

…..

For the fifth or sixth time that night, Olivia texted Ed her apologies. The undercover assignment at the shelter was consuming more time than she'd anticipated, and having Carisi out of the squad room and Dodds at Quantico meant she, Fin, and Rollins were spread impossibly thin. A day after Olivia reminded Fin about the importance of balance in one's life, she was stuck at work while the duo she'd come to refer to as "her boys" were at her apartment spending the evening without her.

When Ed's reply came several minutes later, he, too, apologized. Dozed off, he wrote, we're good. I'll stay tonight. Olivia smiled and scrolled back through their messages-hers succinct and rueful, and his kind and borderline-mushy. She sent off one more message insisting he go to bed instead of sleep on the couch until she got home. He said he would, but Olivia suspected she'd find him in an awkward position on the sofa when she finally got home.

Amanda and Fin called to report they were headed to the hospital for three separate calls. Olivia waited for a uni to escort a perp they had in holding to overnight lockup and went to join them. By the time the exams were done, statements taken, and the women driven home, it was almost three in the morning. Olivia stifled yawns as she drove home and gave an exhausted smile to the doorman when she entered her building.

To her surprise, Ed had apparently helped himself to a solo spot in her bed. She noticed he'd cleaned up Noah's toys and that they'd had burgers and fries from a familiar take-out spot for dinner. Ed had left the kitchen light on for her. She flipped it off and strode to her bedroom.

As if he felt getting under the covers without her was too much of an intrusion, Ed slept on his back on top of her comforter. The lamp was on and his phone rested on his chest. He was wearing a white t-shirt and gray sweatpants. Olivia grinned. It was still a little surreal to see him like this. She decided to skip a shower, she'd be up with Noah in three hours anyway, and crawled into bed. When she reached across Ed to turn off the lamp, he didn't stir.

"Ed?" She gently shook his shoulder, "C'mon, you're going to be cold." She peeled back the blankets and top sheet the best she could while he came into consciousness. Olivia successfully got him under the covers and nestled against his side, her head on his chest.

"Welcome home," he whispered, his voice thick with sleep. He kissed the top of her head and wrapped both arms around her. "Sleep in tomorrow. I'll get up with Noah."

"I can't," Olivia said, "I have to be in early. We caught three cases tonight, Carisi's still out. We're killing ourselves."

"I wish I could make it better," he mumbled.

"You are. You're here."

"Don't forget that," he slurred sleepily, "I'm here."

Olivia kissed his chest and closed her eyes. She was still keyed up, so sleep wouldn't come easily. "I won't forget," she whispered. A few minutes later, she could tell Ed had drifted back into his deep slumber, yet his hold on her hadn't slackened and probably wouldn't until Olivia switched positions. If she was going to struggle for sleep, at least she was struggling with Ed next to her.

…..

Soft new age instrumental music played from the speakers in the lobby of the Benson Center. It was common for the staff to work with some background noise. In her office, Olivia pored over the files of the past few months, separating them into three categories of urgency. The Center, even in its infancy, had become an indispensable part of all borough's Special Victims Units. Olivia insisted the Center vet every person that came their way, and the volume resulted in two new hires. Initially, Olivia was involved in every single intake interview, but she had to scale back. Many of the casefiles she was now reviewing were unfamiliar to her which made the project more time consuming than she predicted. She set the alarm on her phone so she remembered to call it quits in time to get home in the late afternoon.

When the reception buzzer rang, she paid it no mind. A member of the clerical staff was on duty and always did a good job of screening visitors and deliveries. Rarely did anyone show up completely unannounced, the Center did not publicly advertise its services, so Olivia was slightly startled and curious when she was asked to come up front.

"Elliot Stabler's here?" The receptionist asked, her face contorted into a confused grimace.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"He's okay," Olivia said, adding, "My former partner. Send him in."

Dressed casually in jeans, henley, and heavy parka, Stabler entered the office with a smile. He held his arms out, expecting a hug, and the former detectives gave one another a quick embrace. Later, Olivia would think it was rude, but instead of offering him a spot on the sofa or an easy chair, she took a seat behind her desk and he sat down in an armchair.

"What brings you in?" She asked, "How did you know this was here?"

Stabler chuckled at the lukewarm welcome, "I used to be a cop, Olivia," he said, "But, I was in the city helping Maureen move into her new apartment. Not too far from the precinct, so I stopped by, said hello to a few people who still recognize this old dinosaur, saw Fin, and he mentioned you'd probably be here."

"Speaking of dinosaurs," Olivia murmured of Fin who seemed more and more reluctant to retire. "Anyway, wow, Maureen's back in the city? I thought she was somewhere down south?"

"Charlotte for a couple years, the Atlanta, then Boston, and now back here," Stabler reported, "She's living with her," Elliot, uncomfortable, rubbed the back of his neck, "Her girlfriend."

"Girlfriend? Oh, wow, good for her. Is this something long term?"

"I think so," Elliot said, "I'm still gettin' used to it. There's this. Kathleen's not doing so great. Dickie's wandering around the country with his friend's band calling himself a manager. It's been," Elliot stared at the ceiling and searched for words, "Not how I imagined it would all be right now." He grinned, "You probably feel the same. For different reasons, of course."

"What about Eli?" Olivia asked, sidestepping the tacit inquiry into her personal life.

"He's thirteen," Elliot replied, "Aren't they all a pain in the ass at thirteen?"

"I've heard," Olivia said.

"You wanna get out of here? Go grab a drink?"

Olivia glanced at her timer. She had a little over an hour left to work and eyed the files. "I wanted to take care of these," she said, "But, I'll find some time later." She shoved the folders into her bag and grabbed her coat. Despite not having seen or spoken to one another since the retirement party, and, before that, the communication gap had been at least a year, she and Elliot easily reconnected.

They stopped at one of their old haunts, a longstanding midtown Irish pub, and took seats at the bar. Olivia immediately asked about Kathleen, and Elliot described her struggles with mental health as a "rollercoaster he wasn't equipped to deal with." In between drinks of beer he took long pauses. "We're taking her to Florida with us when we leave for Christmas," Elliot said, "And I'm terrified she's gonna ruin the holiday. And Kathy, she's so strong, but I don't know how much more she can take, or," he took another drink, "Maybe I don't know how much more I can take."

Over the years, Sarah and Brooke had had their share of troubles, but nothing like what Kathleen Stabler and her family were battling. Olivia didn't have any magic advice for Elliot, so she said, simply, "All you can do is love her, El. Help her get the help she needs and be there."

"I'm just so tired of one day at a time," Elliot said, "That's what Kathy says, one day at a time. And I'm starting to really hate that phrase."

"But it's worth something," Olivia said.

"I suppose." Elliot shrugged and forced a smile, "Tell me something good, Liv. Tell me about Noah, your twins. How was Thanksgiving?"

Olivia beamed. Her smile was unlike any that Elliot had ever seen and her eyes immediately glistened with happy tears. "Noah, Maggie, Wyatt, they're all so great," she said, "Noah's so smart, reading, loves school, loves his brother and sister, and, as much as I don't want the twins to grow up, they're getting to be so funny, talking, have minds of their own."

"Good ages."

"Yeah."

"And Tucker?"

Olivia picked at her napkin. After her relationship with Ed became public knowledge, over time, she had heart-to-hearts with almost everyone with whom she'd been close. Elliot was the exception. "I know it must have been shocking to hear...when, everything came out."

"It came through the grapevine," Elliot said, "I didn't believe it."

"I'm sure you had the same reaction everyone had," Olivia replied and did her best to mimic Fin, "Tucker?"

"Yeah, that's about it."

"He's a good man, El. He," Olivia paused because she knew there was a chance what she was about to say could sting Stabler, "He makes me feel so right, safe, complete. He makes me feel...like I'm always the priority. And I love that."

"You deserve to have it," Elliot replied, "And people change. I just never woulda put my money on that person being Ed Tucker. But? I guess nothin' surprises me anymore. And I'm glad you're happy."

Elliot was drinking more quickly than Olivia remembered was his norm, so she finished her beer and announced she had to go. She was worried this friendly, impromptu meeting was going to quickly turn into an Elliot Stabler pity party, and she simply wasn't interested in being his shoulder to cry on. She gave him a hug and wished him luck. "Have a Merry Christmas," she said, "Enjoy the warm weather."

"Yeah, sure," Elliot said, "You have a good holiday too. Tell Tucker I said Merry Christmas."

"Will do."

…

Ed closed the bedroom door and unbuttoned his shirt. "Now I can really understand why some people give their kids Benadryl to get them to go to sleep."

"Ed!"

He grinned devilishly, "I'm kidding. A little bit."

"We better set our alarms," Olivia said, "Can you imagine their faces if they wake up tomorrow morning and there are no presents under the tree?"

"That would be quite the parenting fail. And they're too old for us to say, oops, it's not really Christmas. Christmas is tomorrow."

Olivia laughed. "That'd be even worse."

Ed licked his lips and flipped the lock on the door, "Screw the alarms," he said, "I think we can make ourselves stay awake." He hovered over Olivia. His unbuttoned shirt hung down and she massaged his chest. Slowly, lowered himself until their lips were touching. Before kissing her, he whispered, "I love you, baby. Merry Christmas."

He barely gave her time to reply before initiating a hungry, fierce kiss. Olivia moaned and gasped into his mouth when she felt him growing hard against her. She fumbled with his belt. Ed teased her by refusing to relent on the kiss, making it more difficult for her to loosen the pants. He paused and chuckled, his mouth still against hers.

"You're horrible," she said.

"Am I?" He let his eyes droop and he pressed his forehead against hers, "How-"

The sound of doors opening and closing caused them to freeze. Ed propped himself on his forearms and held still. They listened for more activity. Another door. Footsteps. Whispers. "All the presents are in here," Olivia said, "They're going to be disappointed if they're snooping."

"I'll go," Ed said.

"No," Olivia glanced down at his body, "I will." She pulled on her robe and tiptoed down the hallway. The refrigerator was open and Maggie and Wyatt were at the island. "What are you doing?" She asked, doing her best not to scare them.

"I don't think we left enough food," Wyatt said, "We gotta give more sugar and more cookies and milk. No milk for the reindeer!"

"And no carrots," Maggie said, "I read the reindeer like carrots, too."

"Do we have carrots?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, Daddy getted them."

"Okay, well," Olivia saw the heaping plate of snacks. She and Ed were going to have to hide them in their bathroom until they could safely get them out with the trash. "I think that's good," she said, "We've never left this much."

"But the reindeer are older this year," Maggie reasoned, "So they need a little more."

"Couple more carrots," Wyatt said to himself as he arranged the food along the edge of the plate, "And two more cookies and a little more milk. Okay. That's good."

"Alright," Olivia said, "Back to bed. Or Santa's going to skip us."

"We're goin' Santa!" Maggie said.

Olivia knew Ed wouldn't be asleep, but she wasn't expecting him to be completely naked, covered with a single sheet, waiting for her. He smirked, "Figured I'd cut to the chase," he said. "What's goin on?"

"Santa and his reindeer have a full meal," she said. "The little ones were worried they'd be underfed."

Ed typically cared about everything their kids did, but in this instance he was not very interested in Maggie's and Wyatt's late-night Christmas Eve snack adjustment. "So we're all good then?"

"Yeah."

"Good," Ed stroked one of Olivia's arms as she climbed into bed, "I want you," he said, "This time of year...making love to you...nothin' like it."

"It's the lights," Olivia said of the strands of multicolored bulbs hung on the perimeter of their bedroom windows.

"No," Ed cupped her face and kissed her, "This time of year, a long time ago...it's when I started to fall in love with you. I'll never forget that feeling."

"You're right," Olivia pressed her body to his, "I remember."

"I love you, Liv. Merry Christmas."

"It's our tenth Christmas together," she pointed out.

Ed stopped kissing her neck so he could make eye contact, "Sure as hell is. I didn't realize it. Well then," he gave her a quick peck on the lips and then went back to kissing her neck, "I better make this good."

…..

Ed warned Wyatt to stay back and checked the temperature of the beef tenderloin roasting in the oven. "Still about fifteen minutes," he reported as he lifted Wyatt onto the counter, "C'mere, bud. I know you're hungry." Ed gave Wyatt some crackers and then doled out portions to Maggie and Noah. "I sorta did somethin' a little more elaborate than I'd planned," he explained sheepishly to Olivia.

She sipped her wine and kissed him, "It smells great."

"I'll get on the potatoes."

"Okay," she said, "I'll check out Noah's backpack." Olivia plucked the bag from its usual place on the back of the dining chair closest to the window. It was a chair used only when the Tuckers had guests. Olivia knew Ed had graciously left the task of checking Noah's home-school folder to her, and the small act of consideration warmed her heart. "Noah, honey? Come over here. I want to hear about your day."

Noah had been playing a game on his phone. He tossed the device in the beanbag and ran over to his mother. "Dis is math and dis is science," he said, "And I haveta write da minutes I read in the box, but I already read my book. Daddy? How many minutes?"

"Thirty."

"Thirty," Noah repeated, pointing to the paper, "Three-zero. Goes right here."

"Got it." Olivia wrote the number and asked what else happened at school.

"We had music," Noah said, "I gotta bring my g'tar."

"When?"

"Da next time we have music!"

"Oh, okay," Olivia replied, paging through the other papers trying to figure out when the next music session would be held.

"And, I saw G today! You know, Sare Bear's neighbor? She said 'hi Noah' and den we talked 'bout Pearl. Sare Bear's pickin' me up Wednesday and we're gonna buy Pearl some good dog toys."

"Oh, so G's met Pearl? Did she like her?"

"Oh yes! She said Pearl's a good dog! Mommy? Do you think I can walk her on da leash?"

"I don't know, sweetie. Pearl might pull too much."

"Yeah, G said she walked her and she pulled."

"Maybe Sarah will send her to doggie school when Justin gets back from his trip," Olivia suggested.

"Doggie school?" Noah asked, wide-eyed. He was clearly envisioning a school like his only populated with dogs instead of humans.

"Yes. The teachers show the owners how to make the dogs sit and stay and sometimes, if they're off leash, come when they're called."

"I'm gonna tell Sare Bear."

"How's Mia?" Ever since Mia spent the night with the Tuckers, Olivia was more worried than usual about her. Instead of her father picking her up, Mia was retrieved by her annoyed-looking nanny. Olivia had a bad feeling and almost volunteered to keep the little girl another night.

"She's good," Noah said, "But," his eyes got wide again, "Her Mommy came to get her early today and Mia didn't wanna go and her Mommy said 'NOW MIA' and, and, went like," Noah looked around, searching for something. Olivia wasn't sure what until Noah found a teddy bear and yanked on its arm, "Went like dis and said 'we're late' and then they left and Mia didn't even get her backpack!"

"She didn't?"

"Nope. We were at recess and she jus' left. It's on da hook."

Olivia's heart broke thinking of the lone backpack hanging on the hook near the cubbies in Noah's first grade classroom. She was sickened to think that, wherever Mia was right now, she was not talking about her day at school, her father wasn't busy preparing a roast, and she would not have a bubble bath waiting for her before bedtime.

"So she can't do da homework," Noah said matter-of-factly.

"Your teacher will probably let her have another day to do it," Olivia speculated hopefully.

"Yeah."

"Food's ready," Ed called from the kitchen.

"Let's go wash our hands," Olivia said, "C'mon sweethearts. Wash hands with Noah!"

Maggie and Wyatt ran to the bathroom and waited for their turn on the stepstool. Noah pumped soap into their hands. "Rub rub rub!" He said, "Till ya see bubbles! There ya go! Now we gotta dry 'em off! Here's da towel!"

Olivia and Ed brought the food to the table and waited for the kids to finish. Ed kissed her cheek. "Mia's okay, Liv."

"I don't think she is."

"It'll be okay," Ed said softly, "There's nothing we can do right now."

"She's-"

"-ignored, maybe," Ed interrupted, "But she's not in danger."

"How do we know that?"

"We don't," Ed replied, "Not for sure, but we've met her Dad. He's a decent guy. The only thing we can be sure about is us."

Olivia smiled and hugged him, "That's all I need," she said, "Us."

"Nah," Ed gently objected, "You need to know everyone you care about is safe, but, right now, there's not much we can do."

"I know."

"So we'll have Mia over again soon."

"Good idea."

The kids skipped into the room showing off their clean hands. Noah climbed into his seat, "Wow!" he exclaimed, "Dis is a fancy dinner!"

"Think so, bud?"

"Yep!"

Olivia lifted Maggie into her booster seat, but before she sat her down, Maggie squeezed her neck. "Hug, Mama!"

Reminded of Ed's earlier direction, Wyatt wrapped his arms around one of Olivia's legs. "Mama hug! Mama kiss?"

Olivia kissed Maggie then Wyatt. She held her baby boy close before putting him in his seat. She closed her eyes and murmured, "Mommy loves you so much."

"We gonna toast, Daddy?" Noah asked.

"Yeah, bud," Ed waited for Olivia to sit down before he lifted his glass, "To us," he said, locking eyes with her.

"To us!" Noah repeated.

"US!"

"Us, us,us, us!"

…

#Tuckson