103.

Ed and Olivia woke up before the alarm on their phones or the chatter of the kids jolted them into consciousness. Admittedly, they hadn't actually slept much-their night had been a cycle of dozing sessions and intimacy. Olivia took a deep breath against Ed's skin and stretched. "Want to get in the shower?" She asked in a throaty voice.

"Prolly should."

Under the hot, pulsating water, Ed and Olivia took turns with the loofah and the bottles of shampoo and conditioner. It was still early, so they took their time. Afterwards they dressed in sweats, sipped coffee and paged through the newspaper at the island.

"We oughta go see the tree this weekend," Ed said of the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree.

Olivia's eyes shot wide open, "I forgot all about it."

"Ah, it's early," Ed replied. "And we haven't had a lot of snow. I need snow to get into the Christmas spirit."

Olivia grinned, "Then I hope we get dumped on soon," she said, "I love Christmasy Ed Tucker."

Ed returned her smile with a shy grin of his own. Every once in a while, the tone of Olivia's voice or the glint in her eye made him weak in the knees and rendered him shy and speechless. He felt his cheeks get hot. Olivia leaned forward and the sight of her cleavage peeking out beneath the collar of her tee shirt nearly made him drool.

"What do you want for Christmas?" She asked in a sultry voice.

"A lot of you."

"Well, that makes my shopping easy," Olivia said, "I don't know about Noah's. But, he always thinks of the most thoughtful presents, on instinct. I love that about him. He picks up on every little thing about other people."

"He likes to make people happy," Ed replied.

"Like you," Olivia cooed.

Ed started a reply, but some shuffling noises and a faint whine came from the twins' room. He and Olivia turned and saw a bright-eyed Maggie dragging her half-asleep brother into the room. "G'morn!" She shouted. "G'MORN! Morn, WY!"

Olivia's face oozed with sympathy and she rushed over to Wyatt. He buried his face in Olivia's neck and she swayed him back and forth, meandering back into the kitchen and her place at the island. Ed simpered at Maggie and playfully admonished her for waking up her brother. Then, he offered her juice or milk.

"Chocmilk!"

"Chocolate milk it is," Ed said. He rounded the island and swatted at Olivia's behind when she mumbled the word pushover. When he opened the fridge though, Ed found no chocolate milk and he knew there was no syrup or powder. "Maggs," he said, "We gotta go out and get your chocolate milk."

Olivia didn't bother objecting to Ed throwing on his coat and shoes and running to the corner bodega for his daughter's preferred morning drink.

"You wanna come with me?" Ed asked Maggie.

Maggie jumped up and down and raced for the foyer. "Magg GO!" She shouted, "Magg GO!"

Wyatt was still draped across his mother's chest with his fist in his mouth. Ed kissed them both. "See ya in a few minutes," he whispered, "You gonna want breakfast?"

"I think we'd all love breakfast," Olivia replied with an appreciative smile, "And I better eat before I shop with Sarah and Brooke." She winked. It was no secret her Christmas shopping trips with the girls were mostly an excuse to bar hop and engage in girl talk for most of the day.

"MAGG GO, DADA!"

"Here I come, Miss Maggie!" Amused at the fact he had a third demanding daughter to raise, Ed jogged to the foyer where Maggie was waiting, boots on, clad in PJs, and fumbling with her parka. Ed helped her with the coat and took her to the elevator by the hand. Maggie was loud, but Ed did little to quiet her down in the hall. Olivia's heart warmed when she pictured Maggie skipping down the block with Ed, clearly fresh out of bed, boisterously babbling away at the sights and sounds of the street.

…

Olivia was proud of herself for leaving the office early enough to have dinner and some quality time with Noah. They played with toys, most of which were still strewn around the living room, played with boats and funnels in the bathtub, and, before bed, Olivia read him story after story until his eyelids drooped. She laid his head on his pillow and kissed his exposed cheek. After tossing items back into the toy box, she sat on the sofa and exchanged a few texts with Ed. Eventually, she invited him over. It was still early and she was wide awake and not interested in being alone with her thoughts.

He arrived with two bottles, one of bourbon and one of wine, and explained he didn't know what she was in the mood to drink. Olivia inspected the labels and chose the bourbon. "Cleveland Christmas Spiced Bourbon," she read aloud, "This looks interesting."

"Thought so," Ed replied.

Olivia went to the kitchen for glasses. She looked up and noticed Ed hadn't removed his coat. "Are you staying or just dropping off liquor?"

Ed smirked, "I'll stay a while if ya don't mind."

"Are you waiting for me to take your coat?"

"Oh, no," Ed peered at his military-style parka as if he was surprised he still had it on, "Just thought of somethin'..." He took the coat off and hung it on the rack.

Olivia handed him one of the glasses and they sat down on the sofa. "Thinking of what? Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he said. They clinked glasses before he continued, "Was wondering whether or not that bottle would be a good idea for the gift exchange at the office."

Olivia nearly choked on her drink. "IAB does a gift exchange?"

"Yeah," Ed replied casually. "You don't?"

"No, and I'm a little shocked you do."

"Why's that?"

Olivia grinned and replied, "It seems so...un-IAB."

"Ah," Ed smirked again, this time it was with an air of haughtiness, "You don't think we can celebrate the season, Benson?"

"Oh I'm sure you can. Individually. With your own families. But, as a group? It seems extremely out of character. I can't imagine you all standing around in one of the rooms over there and opening presents."

"Well maybe you should drop by. December 20. Noon. We're ordering in lunch, too. Does that seem un-IAB?"

"Not at all." Olivia took another sip of the bourbon. "This is excellent," she said, "Unless you have some rule against having booze on the premises, I think this would be a perfect gift. Or...any recovering alcoholics over there?"

"Not that I know of."

"Then I think this is what you should contribute. Are you assigned a person?"

"No, it's this thing were everyone brings something, each person gets a number, they choose a gift, then you can steal? I dunno the exact rules, but one of the officers in communications organized it...she was kinda pushy about everyone participating so I put my name in the hat."

Olivia raised her eyebrows, "Ed Tucker got pushed around? Wow."

"Happens every once in a while. Not often." Ed took a sip, winked, and stared at her. She was dressed in an oversized navy blue sweater and a pair of old jeans. The denim was frayed in some places and he could see traces of the skin on her legs. Butterflies swirled in Ed's stomach as he thought about how much he'd love to be pushed around by Olivia Benson.

"I'll take everyone out for drinks," Olivia said, "But we've never made a big deal about Christmas. Everyone always had their own things going on. Either that or they didn't really care about celebrating. Every day can look the same, even holidays, if you let it."

"That's true. Sounds familiar." Ed reached for her hand, "I'm glad you're comin' to my Mom's on Christmas Eve," he said softly, "Thanksgiving was kinda forced on ya-"

"-No it wasn't," Olivia interjected, "Sarah wanted us to be there. She couldn't help it."

"She can be a little much," Ed groaned, "It can be hard to say no to her."

"I wanted to be there," Olivia said, "And we had a great time. And we'll have another great time on Christmas Eve. I like the fact these days don't look the same for me anymore." She leaned forward and Ed threaded his fingers through her hair while they kissed. The familiar flutters of nervousness traveled up and down her spine. Lately, she and Ed had become even closer and their relationship was rapidly hurtling into "serious" territory. Olivia welcomed the change, and assumed the jitters occurred out of giddiness. She genuinely wanted everything Ed represented.

Ed was careful not to cross any lines and ended the kiss before it became too heated. He kissed both her cheeks before retreating back to his side of the couch. "Want another one?" He held up his near-empty glass.

"Sure."

Olivia watched him walk into the kitchen. She loved the way he looked in his jeans and long-sleeved polo. The clothes fit as if they'd been tailored especially for his physique. When he returned and handed her the glass, she fixated on his hands and fingers. He kept his nails meticulously trimmed and his sturdy hands gave way to thick, strong wrists. Olivia's breath caught in her throat and she smiled slightly at how such a simple part of his body could ignite arousal in hers. "Thank you," she managed to intone.

"You're welcome."

"Thanks for coming over too," she said, "I brought some work home, but I felt like having some company."

"Anytime," Ed replied. "Work can wait. Nice to have some downtime every once in a while."

"I'm just now figuring that out."

"Well, I can certainly help," Ed shot her a cocky grin, "All ya gotta do is call."

"That's all?" Olivia inched closer to him.

"Yeah," Ed closed the distance between them. "That's all."

…..

Before departing to meet Sarah and Brooke, Olivia found Noah lying on his stomach in front of the tree with a silver pencil in his hand and a drawing tablet on the rug in front of him. He'd taken it upon himself to dim most of the apartment lights, so the Christmas bulbs cast a reddish hue everywhere in the apartment. Olivia snapped a quick picture before she sat down next to him.

"Hey sweetheart," she said, "Whatcha doin?"

"Makin a list."

"Oh," Olivia replied, "We'll go see Santa soon. Good idea."

"No, Mommy," Noah said, "I'm makin' a list of people."

"People?"

"Yep," Noah tapped the top sheet of the pad with the tip of his pencil, "I gotta get presents for all dese people." He continued to work and Olivia peered over his shoulder. Noah gripped the mechanical pencil with perfect form. His letters were large, but significantly less wobbly than they'd been at the beginning of the school year. "I'm not writin' da presents," he explained, "Cause they're s'prises."

"Got it," Olivia managed to croak in a half-whisper. In addition to his family, Noah included his teachers, the doormen, their favorite waiter at the pub, Sarah's neighbor and their occasional babysitter, G, and Mia. "We can shop this weekend for everyone on your list."

"But you're goin' with Sare Bear and Brookey t'day!"

"Yes, I'm leaving in a few minutes," Olivia said, smiling at her son's precocious knowledge of her schedule, "But tomorrow you and I can go and maybe then we can get your present for Daddy."

Noah grinned, "Kay!" He lowered his voice and his eyebrows and turned to look up at his mother, "We gotta have a good hiding place. Like...under my bed. Maggs and Wyatt look under there but Daddy never does!" Noah giggled at his clever plan. "So da presents for those babies haveta go up high in your closet."

Olivia kissed the top of his head, "Good idea," she said.

"And Daddy's under my bed!"

"Okay."

"Whatcha gonna buy with Sarah and Brookey?" Noah asked. His eyes shined with mischief, wondering if his mother would fall for his trick.

"I don't know," Olivia cooed mysteriously, "Probably just something for Pearl the dog."

Noah giggled, "Mommy…."

Olivia kissed the top of his head. "I'll see you later honey. I love you."

"Love you too."

…...

Three intricately made, holiday-themed cocktails rested on red and green napkins in front of Olivia, Sarah, and Brooke. At their feet, balanced on the foot rail, were four large shopping bags containing gifts for every close family member except for John and Margie. All three women perpetually had trouble purchasing presents for Ed's sister and brother. Caroline was easy. She loved gadgets, throw blankets, knickknacks-and her cluttered house reflected it. John and Margie were both minimalists.

"I know we're not supposed to resort to gift cards," Brooke griped, "But I think that may have to happen."

"Maybe some kitchen towels and stuff for Aunt Margie? And, I dunno, let's get Uncle Johnny some Yankees tickets."

"Ooo, good idea."

"From both of us, so we're all set."

"But we're just getting Aunt Margie towels?"

"Hmm," Sarah tapped her bottom teeth with her fingernail, "She likes music. Maybe some symphony tickets? Or a Broadway show? Yeah, let's do that. One of us will have to go with her but that's fine. Or she could take Grandma."

Brooke took a drink and slapped the bar, "So we're done. Excellent outing, ladies."

Olivia held up her cocktail, "Cheers to that even though Santa still has some shopping to do and your Dad is taking the kids to get my presents. He always does it with Noah, but this year he thinks Maggie and Wyatt are old enough to go."

"Omigod, that's so adorable," Sarah gushed.

"He was making a list of people who he wanted to buy for when I left," Olivia added, "That boy…"

"Crap," Sarah said, "I didn't get anything for Pearl. Brooke, do you still have that dog store open by you? Maybe I can get something there."

"Yeah, but I'm sure there's a store around here."

"Yeah...oh, hey, Livvie, thank you again for watching Pearl while we went away. It was such a fun weekend, I spent most of it on my ass on the ski slopes, but, gawwwd it was romantic!"

"We had fun with Pearl," Olivia said.

Sarah picked up on the hesitation and leaned on her elbows toward Olivia, "But…"

"I don't think we're going to be ready for a puppy any time soon," she said, "It's like having a fourth child."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you she needed to go out at night," Sarah said.

Brooke groaned, "Seriously? She does?"

"Just like a baby," Sarah replied, "Well, uh, I suppose you wouldn't take a baby outside. But, yeah, like, eleven or so and then bright and early at four-thirty."

"Oh, Liv," Brooke lamented, "You guys must have been miserable."

"It was fine for a couple of days," Olivia said, "The kids loved playing with her."

"Did she sleep with Wyatt?" Sarah asked, "She snuggled right up to him last time."

Olivia knew there was no way she could hide or deny the flush on her cheeks. Even Brooke broke into a grin in anticipation of some gossipy details. "Well," Olivia began, "She slept in our room…"

Sarah giggled.

Olivia continued, "So it was a little crowded."

"A little crowded…" Sarah echoed, "In what sense?"

"In the sense she barked at us."

Sarah and Brooke both guffawed.

"Omigod, omigod, omigod."

"And that was a little challenging..."

"Well of course," Brooke said.

"Justin and I are kind of used to it," Sarah said.

"It wouldn't have been such a big deal if," Olivia bit her lip, "If...we hadn't been struggling to find some alone time lately. It's been a little hectic with the holidays, the kids, work-"

"-and the dog," Brooke interjected.

"-and the dog."

"Well Livvie," Sarah signaled for another round and put her hand on Olivia's forearm, "For that I am truly sorry. To make up for it, Justin and I will watch the kids the next time you get away and, as an added mitzvah for Brookey, we shall take Sofia for the weekend, not the same weekend, so she and Sonny can go upstate or to Vermont where we went."

"That would be good," Brooke replied, "I need Son to figure out what he's doing with his life. He's going back and forth about this whole DA thing and I'm at the point where I wish he'd make a decision and run with it. The gray area is killing me. And," Brooke bit her lip, "I'm sorry to drop this bomb, but, um, I think I'm going to use some of the trust money and stay home with Sof for a year. I...it's there, and…"

"You don't love it," Sarah said confidently.

"No," Brooke looked Sarah in the eyes. "How did you know?"

"I know these things, Brookey," Sarah pressed the side of her head to her sister's, "I can tell. The money's there. Mom would want you to do what you love, to do what makes you happy. Do it."

Olivia took a steadying breath and asked a question she felt neither she nor Ed asked enough, "Is it tougher, this time of year, thinking about your mother?" To her surprise, their eyes stayed dry. Nothing even close to a frown crossed their faces. Olivia wondered if the two of them had processed Angela's death like she'd processed her mother's-a brief mourning period followed by years of wrestling with messy, borderline-embarrassing feelings in isolation.

"Honestly," Brooke said, "I'm more disappointed in myself for not watching over Aidan more. With everything that happened with Dave...I, well, I was more focused on making sure I was okay and that Sonny and I were okay. That whole sequence of events was a total blur. Maybe I haven't even confronted the enormity of it all yet."

Sarah nodded in agreement. "So does that mean someday a heap of guilt and remorse will rain down on us?"

Olivia was quick to jump in, "No. It means you have to be patient with yourself." After a few moments of silence, she asked about Aidan. At one point, she and Ed speculated he'd end up living with either Sarah or Brooke and he'd become an adjunct member of their family, but quite the opposite happened.

"They're living in New Jersey now," Brooke said, "Close to the shore. I'm not sure what Dave's doing, but the last time we spoke he didn't seem like he wanted much to do with us. He did thank us for taking care of Aidan."

"His New York rep was ruined," Sarah added, "He had to go somewhere else."

"It's all...tragic," Olivia murmured.

"But Aidan'll be in college soon," Brooke said cheerfully, "He can go off and make his own life. I told him that the last time we texted. He doesn't like his school, it's hard to go in new when you're a junior, and he's totally given up sports. But he has a job and he's saving money. He doesn't think his Dad has much left, and his trust money doesn't kick in until he'd twenty-one."

"We could change that," Sarah said.

Brooke shrugged, "Better to wait if he can."

"Yeah…" Sarah downed almost all of her second drink, "Okay, enough of this talk. Let's cheer up. Livvie, I do believe the twinsies are the perfect age to come out of their room on Christmas morning and be excited at all the presents Santa brought, so I'm definitely going to need you to video that."

"Will do," she said, "Although we'll set up something on a tripod. I read that your memories aren't as sharp when you're seeing the event through a phone or a camera."

"Makes sense," Brooke said.

Sarah was still bouncing up and down on her stool, "And, omigod, I cannot wait to see Noey's face when Grandma gives him the Ireland trip. That is going to...omigod, do you think he's going to cry?"

"He might."

"Omigod, omigod, omigod."

…..

The Tuckers' Paris hotel room wasn't in the exact same location as the one Olivia, Ed, and Noah had occupied years ago, but the layout was similar. It was classified as a junior suite, but there seemed to be nothing "junior" about the place. There were two spacious bedrooms with adjoining baths, a small living room and kitchenette, and an expansive balcony with pristine views of the Seine. After swimming, the kids camped out there. Ed and Olivia decided to simply order pizza rather than go back out since they'd spent several hours at the pool and the kids were sure to fall asleep earlier than usual.

"This pizza's pretty good," Wyatt said. He held a square-shaped slice in front of his face and examined it closely. The dough was airier and thicker than a typical New York slice. Otherwise, he didn't notice much of a difference. The Tucker kids had eaten a lot of pizza in their lives and were used to many variations.

"The sauce is kinda sweet," Maggie chimed in, "But I like this green stuff."

"Arugula," Noah said, "I like it too."

"Tomorrow we're going to have more exotic food," Olivia said, "So get ready."

Maggie giggled and scooted to the edge of her lounge, "Like what?"

"How about snails?" Ed suggested.

"SNAILS?"

"Your mom and I had them when we were here," Ed replied, "Liv, you think we can find that restaurant? We had an amazing meal there."

"We did."

"Did baby Noah eat snails?" Maggie asked.

"No, he ate french fries."

"We gotta get steak frites," Wyatt said sagely, "I read that steak frites is the best thing to eat here."

"And the desserts," Noah added. "Don't forget the desserts."

"All this talk about food," Ed said, "You think we're gonna have time to see any of the sights?"

"We should make a list," Noah said. He ducked inside and returned with his trusty Moleskine notebook and a pen. "Okay...tomorrow we should get up early and get to the Louvre by eight so we don't have to wait in line. It's Wednesday so maybe it won't be so crowded."

"Why are we goin' there?" Maggie asked.

"To see art," Wyatt said.

"And the Mona Lisa," Noah said, "People say it's not a big deal, but I really wanna see it."

"Okay," Maggie said, "But then we get to do the aquarium!"

"And the boat ride!" Wyatt said.

"Yep," Noah scribbled furiously in his notebook. "Mom? Dad? What else for tomorrow and the next day? Cause then we're going to Disney."

Ed slung his arm around Olivia's shoulders and kissed the side of her head. They were sharing both a chaise and a bottle of red wine. "Sounds like you have everything under control, bud. We'll follow you."

Noah shrugged. "Alright." He, Maggie, and Wyatt huddled over their phones, a tourist map of the city, and the Moleskine. By the time the nearby church bells signaled it was ten o'clock, they had a plan for the next forty-eight hours and had made sure to factor in time for swimming in the luxurious hotel pool.

Ed and Olivia continued to sip wine and sneak kisses as they contentedly stared out into the Parisian night. "I love it here," Olivia whispered.

"Couldn't have predicted we'd be back with two more kids."

"You're right," Olivia whispered, "But now? I can't imagine us any other way."

….

The snow reached Manhattan on Saturday night. While the Tuckers ate their take-out dinner at the coffee table while watching Elf, sheets of snow furiously blanketed the city. Every once in a while Noah would run to the windows, peer down at the street, and give his assessment. By the time the movie was over, he gleefully reported, "everrthing's white!"

He skipped back to the sofa and squeezed in between his parents, "C'we go outside?"

Ed and Olivia exchanged glances and shrugs.

"Yeah bud. We can go out. We gotta go get the sled from downstairs."

"Why don't you go get that," Olivia said to Ed before kissing him on the lips, "And I'll get everyone ready."

"Be right back."

"Okay, kiddos," Olivia said, "Snowpants!"

Maggie, Wyatt, and Noah all ran for the hall closet. Noah opened the door and the kids immediately swiped their sets of pants from the hooks. Olivia swapped the twins' socks with thicker pairs, snapped the buckles into place, and put on their mittens and hats. She waited until Ed returned with the sled to zip them into the parkas.

"C'we sled into the elevator?" Noah asked.

"Sure bud."

When they arrived in the lobby, the doorman shot them a wary grin. He was picky about the appearance of the area, and dragging a sled full of three kids was sure to scratch the recently waxed tile floor. Ed motioned for them to get up. Without protest, the trio hopped to their feet and sprinted for the door.

"We goin' out in da snow!" Noah announced.

"SNOW!" Maggie and Wyatt echoed. "WAI'NO!"

"I'm waitin!"

Outside, Noah sat in the sled and Maggie and Wyatt piled into his lap. Ed started slowly, merely walking at a fast pace, until they approached Ninth Avenue where he turned North and started jogging. The kids squealed in delight. Olivia trailed the sled, laughing and inhaling sharp breaths of the frigid air. Snowflakes collected on her long brown locks and were veritable icicles by the time Ed stopped for a break.

He pinched a section of her frozen brown hair, grinned, and leaned in for a kiss, "Too cold?"

"Not at all," she said, "Winded?"

"A little," he replied, "This is hard work." He looked around. The streets were dotted with a few other families whose children had had the same idea as Noah. Older children had come out and were pelting one another with snowballs. The snow was at least a foot deep now and showed no sign of letting up anytime soon.

"Want me to tow them for a while?" Olivia asked.

"Nah," Ed replied, puffing out his chest, "I'm good now."

While Olivia and Ed bantered, Noah and the twins grew restless. Noah leaned over and tried to make a snowball like the other kids he saw in the street. Maggie and Wyatt did the same thing and they ended up toppling into the snow.

"AHHHHHHHH!"

Thinking someone was hurt or crying, Olivia darted to the sled, but she realized all three kids were laughing hysterically. Noah rolled onto his back and swept his arms and legs back and forth. "Babies, do dis! We gonna make angels!"

Olivia and Ed helped Maggie and Wyatt. A few minutes later they got the kids to their feet and they examined their creations.

"See the angels?" Olivia asked them sweetly. Wyatt and Maggie pointed and babbled in delight. She noticed their cheeks were extremely pink and told Ed they should maybe make a lap around the block and then think about heading back home.

"No!" Noah said, "We gotta go get a warm drink! Lessgo to da pub!"

"Honey," Olivia said, "Pubs don't let kids inside when it's late like this. How about we get a hot chocolate?" There were a few cafes and a Starbucks nearby, so she knew she could make good on the offer.

"Okay," Noah said. He sat back down in the sled and waited for the twins to baby pile on him. "We goin' for hot choc'lit," he explained as Ed resumed the jog down the block. "Mmmmm, a good warm drink!"

"Stahbucks, No?" Wyatt asked, craning his head backwards so he could look at his older brother. "Stahbucks?"

Noah giggled, "Mommy! Wyatt thinks everrthing's Starbucks! And we don't even like Starbucks da best!"

"I know," Olivia said breathlessly, "I think Sarah taught him Starbucks."

"Oooo!" Noah said, shifting gears on a dime, "We gotta go play with Pearl in da snow tomorrow after shopping!"

"Okay."

There wasn't much space for more discussion. Ed turned a corner and the sled careened forward on one edge. Noah tightened his grip on the twins. "Wheeeeeeeee!" He shouted. "Crazy driver! Hang on!"

Olivia took out her phone and started a video. Their pace would make the footage a little choppy, but she had to have part of this digitally catalogued. She was sure, at some point in the future, she'd want to relive this perfect night.

…...

#Tuckson