113. To the Reviewer who pointed out Young Driver is only available to UK residents-no, I did not vet the website so completely to find that information and it's fic and occasionally I do take some liberties with details. For example, the place the Tuckers went for breakfast on the beach doesn't exist, and the distance between where I imagined Sarah's condo and the Flora Bama is greater than described, so, thank you so much for the review and we'll assume that either Ed worked some charm or the company changed the rules. After all, that was set in the future.

….

The first week in January brought a return to normal life. Noah went back to school, Olivia tossed around the idea of stepping back from the Benson Center, and Ed took on the task of holiday decluttering. He gave each of the kids a box, instructed them to fill it with their favorite toys, and explained almost everything else was fair game for donation to charity. Since the twins didn't understand the concept, Noah helped them select items for the box. He traversed the apartment multiple times, adding and removing things, until he finally decided the task was complete. When Olivia and Ed saw the boxes neatly lined up in the foyer one morning, they chuckled softly.

"That was not as painful as I predicted," Olivia said.

"Not at all," Ed raised his eyebrows, "You okay?"

"Yes," Olivia rifled through the toys, and none of them sparked any sentimentality.

Ed hoisted all three boxes at once, "I'll take 'em downstairs for pickup."

Unable to stop her eyes from fixating on his biceps, Olivia mumbled, "Okay," and kissed his cheek. "What do you want for lunch?"

"Was hopin' we'd go out tonight? Date? So maybe something small?"

"Sounds good. I'll get on that."

Ed left and she closed the door behind him. She passed by the twins' room on the way to the kitchen and called a hello to them. They looked up from their toys, grinned and babbled back at her, but went back to their Playmobil sets. Olivia watched them pass the plastic people and accessories back and forth for a few minutes. They seemed to be trying to make the three houses contain equal numbers of furniture and occupants and they communicated in a combination of intelligible sentences and gibberish. Olivia loved hearing them call each other by their names.

"No, Mag!"

"Here, Wy!"

Olivia folded her hands in front of her mouth and whispered, "Best friends." She would have sat down with them, but, while Ed was gone, she had a task to complete. She, Barba, and Justin had been texting earlier about a possible meeting that evening, but there was no way she was going to postpone date night. Proud she'd successfully prioritized her husband over work, she stowed her phone wearing a satisfied smirk and started making lunch. When Ed returned the plates of sandwiches and chips were set out on the island. He came up behind her and kissed her neck.

"Looks good."

"Simple."

"Simple is good." Ed kept gently sucking at her neck, "Like this...very simple, but oh so good."

Olivia leaned her head back and folded her hands over Ed's. She sighed and he continued with a little more intensity, determined for a date night preview. Maggie and Wyatt were still playing together, their sweet little voices were audible yet faint, and Ed knew he had at least a few minutes. Boldly, he bunched her t-shirt in his fist and rasped, "Sorry, I can't keep my hands off of you."

She turned around in his arms and cocked an eyebrow before kissing him. "So don't."

Ed's back hit the opposite countertop ledge. They kissed playfully, teasing each other, knowing they didn't have a ton of time but intent on getting everything they possibly could out of these few minutes, for Maggie and Wyatt would surely interrupt them soon. It was a kiss only two people madly in love and totally comfortable with one another could share, and by the time the twins wandered into the room wondering about lunch, their parents were still in each other's arms and giggling. Eager to join the fun, the toddlers ran in and bear hugged their parents' legs.

"Hello, sweet twins," Olivia cooed at them, resting her head against Ed's chest. The toddlers grinned and clamored for attention. Wyatt pointed at the food; Maggie wanted to be picked up and when Ed hoisted her in the air, she reached for the cabinet that held the cups and glasses.

"Drink, baby girl?"

"Dink and LUNCH!"

"Yes, ma'am. Where we gonna eat?"

"On d'couch!"

Ed shifted Maggie to his hip, leaned toward Olivia, and nuzzled her neck, "Couch okay with you?"

"Yes it is."

Conversations with Maggie and Wyatt were getting more intricate and detailed. As Wyatt munched on his sandwich, he wandered around the room and stopped at the Tetra tank. The four tetras that lived on after Eric's death were still alive. Wyatt talked to the fish, Maggie remembered the beach, and Olivia reminded the twins they would be traveling to their Delaware house that summer. Olivia basked in the slow-paced, precious moments with her family. She curled herself into Ed and watched the little ones dance around the living room. They were dropping crumbs all over the floor, but the mess didn't matter. Olivia grumbled when Ed moved to get up, but he kissed her cheek and smirked.

"Gotta make sure we have a babysitter for tonight," he explained with a wink. "Be right back."

…..

Pretending to be disgusted, Ed sidestepped the mess of toys on Olivia's floor. He held out his hands and told Sarah and Brooke they could have at least cleaned up a little. They countered by saying Noah had woken up when they carried him to bed and the sound of toys being stowed could have possibly further destroyed his sleep. Sarah grinned, popped up, grabbed her jacket, and tossed Brooke hers. They left quickly, and Ed and Olivia stood in the middle of the room, suddenly feeling awkward and unsure of themselves. Finally, Olivia held out her hands.

"C'mere." She rubbed his chest and took a deep breath as she studied the contour of his muscles. She let out a half-sigh, half-moan and pressed her lower body to his. "Ed…"

A few silent seconds passed while he waited for her to say something else. When she didn't, he replied, "Yeah?"

"This night was so wonderful. I don't want it to end."

She closed her eyes and kissed his neck a few times. She felt his hands on her back. They were insistent and a little bit needy. He, too, was reluctant to call it quits for the night. When she kissed his lips she gripped his head. It was an aggressive move, and he responded by opening his mouth wide and partially lifting her off the floor as he guided her toward the sofa. Instantly, frantic desire supplanted the earlier uncertainty. They laughed when they fell off balance and landed with a thud on the cushions. Ed pulled away for a second, and, breathing heavily, rasped, "You okay?"

Olivia grinned. "Yes."

Ed slowed down. He gently massaged her breasts and breathed deeply against her skin. "Liv…"

"Hmm?" She was breathless and impatient for him to make another move.

"I gotta tell you something."

Predicting something amorous, Olivia grinned and intoned, "Tell me anything."

Ed held her by the shoulders. He'd obviously startled Olivia and made sure to get right to the point. "Brooke and Sarah, the reason they're here, staying at my place tonight, it's uh," he struggled to find words and gave his face a vigorous rub, "A few years ago, they, uh, found a spot on my lung-"

Olivia's heart sank.

Ed quickly continued, "-it's okay, they got it all, a little spot, benign, either from the smoking or growing up with the smoking or, uh, the work I did after nine-eleven. Anyway, the cancer's been gone. I lucked out and had bronchitis and they got it early. Really early. Anyway, tomorrow is my ten year visit. That's why the girls are with me."

"Ed…"

"Liv, I'm good. I'm fine. I, um, things between us, they're-"

"-changing?"

"Yes they are," he said, "And I don't want any secrets, I don't want to hold anything back."

Olivia's hands drifted back to his chest. "You're really healthy?"

"I am really healthy. And I'll be even better after tomorrow's scans come back clean." He noticed her rumpled clothes, and became reminded of where they'd been headed before he suddenly dropped this bomb. "Liv, I'm sorry. I didn't-"

Olivia placed her fingers over his lips. "I'm glad you told me," she said, "These are the things we need to know if...this...is going to work. And, Ed, I want it to work."

"I do too."

"Nine-eleven…" Olivia settled in against Ed's side and Ed curled his arm around her shoulders. "We've never talked about that day. Or afterward."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

"I guess I kinda killed the romantic moment," he mumbled even though he was not sorry to cuddle with Olivia on the couch.

"No big deal," she replied, "We'll get it back."

….

For most of the evening, the three kids and G played in Noah's room at his insistence. He played music from his laptop with the intention of having a dance party, but he was in possession of new accessories for his model train track and couldn't resist opening the packages. For Maggie and Wyatt, he dragged the large easel pad and bucket of crayons from his closet. "Not da fat crayons," he said, "But it's okay. Maggie, Wyatt, you be careful with dese!"

Wyatt replied with something that sounded to G like "I'll be careful, No," and jabbed one hand into the bucket. Someone had taught the twins how to trace each other, and Maggie splayed herself on the paper and Wyatt did his best to outline her body. "Now me!" He said when he was done.

"The twins seem so old," G said to Noah as she crouched next to the train table.

"They're gonna go to preschool when they don't wear da diapers anymore," Noah replied matter-of-factly, "And I'm teachin' 'em colors and numbers and some adding but I dunno if they get da adding. When I did Oreo math, they said one, two, three but then they jus' ate da cookies so I dunno if they really added 'em."

"Oreo math?"

"Sare Bear teached me and now I'm teachin' those babies!"

"Oh…"

"You put cookies out, then you add 'em, then you can eat 'em."

"Sounds like a very effective strategy."

"Yeah," Noah murmured before contorting his face, "What's 'fective?"

"It means something works. I think Oreo Math must have worked very well because you're good at math."

Noah smiled appreciatively at the compliment. "And didja know you can do fractions with da Oreos, too? You break 'em in half and then you have one-over-two and then you break da halves in half and you have four quarters and quarters are quarters because they're one-fourth of a dollar."

"Wow…"

"...that's twenty-five percent."

"Noah, you're amazing." G tightened her ponytail, glanced at the twins, and parked herself at the train table where she could see all three kids. She had been babysitting children of all ages since she was young, but there was always added pressure when she was asked to watch the Tucker kids. It didn't come from Ed and Olivia-they always left within minutes of her arrival and, after the first time she watched the kids, they didn't bother to go through the emergency number spiel, yet she knew she had the most precious, well-loved and cared for children in her possession.

"G, we gonna build this new train and you can do da trees if ya want…" Noah mumbled possibilities for the track. He talked to himself as he shuffled around the table. G watched him and his siblings and realized, if it weren't for the fact that they legally required an adult there, they would be pretty much self sufficient. He helped the twins when they needed it, and when Wyatt wanted more juice, Noah ran to the pantry for a Capri Sun which he explained was allowed because Wyatt had only had one other pouch that day.

"You get two pouches a day?" G asked.

"Yep," Noah said, "But I get three sometimes because Mommy forgets I have one at school."

"Oops."

"Oops." Noah put some track together and grimaced, "G, is that lying?"

"Is what lying?"

"Cause sometimes I get three pouches."

"Well," G replied, "Does your mom ask how many pouches you've had?"

"No."

"Then that's not lying. Lying is when you don't tell the truth on purpose."

"Oh...G?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know Goofus and Gallant?"

Initially at a loss, G shook her head, but then recalled the pair from Highlights Magazine. "I do remember them," she said with a smile, "I loved them when I was growing up. The library at my school always had the magazine."

Happy they shared something in common, Noah grinned. "I have a su'scription. It comes in da mail! With MY name on it! An' the one I got yesterday, Goofus was gonna lie but Gallant said, that's not da right thing to do, you gotta tell the truth. So," he paused for a few seconds, "I don't think I lied when I got three pouches."

"I don't think you did, either, Noah," G replied, "But maybe...maybe you'll feel a little better if you tell her? Just to be sure?"

Noah nodded solemnly. "I think I will. In da morning 'cause I think Mommy and Daddy are going to be back after I go to sleep."

"You're right," G said, "But we have a couple of hours...are we going to finish this track?"

"Yes!"

Maggie and Wyatt were still happily drawing with the crayons. They were now tracing a few of Noah's trucks and cars and seemed to be trying to outline a map of streets. G had no background in child development, but she was positive the twins were showing flashes of keen intellect. It was no surprise, for their brother was wise and smart beyond his years.

"G, c'you please give me da coupler?"

"Coupler?"

"Yeah, it's da thing that holds the cars together."

G found what Noah was requesting and handed it to him. "There ya go."

Noah flashed her a smile which, she was sure, he would retain as he got older and become his signature expression of gratitude. His lips curled upwards in an almost coy fashion and he cocked his head, always to the right.

"Thanks, G."

"You're welcome, buddy."

….

Ed Tucker loved many things about his wife, but he especially enjoyed rendering her verklempt with his occasional words of adoration. Date night began with cocktails at a new bourbon-focused bar that had opened close to their neighborhood, but before they tried the bartender's recommended concoctions, Ed raised his glass for a toast.

"To the most wonderful wife, mother, author, cop, TV series consultant," he said, "Liv, you amaze me every single day. The biggest problem I have? Figurin' out new words to tell you how much you mean to me. I love you, baby."

"I love you too," Olivia choked. Blinking back tears, she touched her glass to his and took a sip. The bartender came over and asked if it tasted alright. Olivia's eyes pleaded to Ed to answer for her.

"Tastes great," Ed replied in a tone that didn't invite further inquiry from the man. As usual, he rested one hand on her thigh. Olivia instinctively leaned her leg into his. Ed could tell she felt comfortable and protected even though they were in the middle of a crowded bar. "So, he said, "We should probably start planning for Ireland. Noah's spring break? So he doesn't miss school?"

"That time works, but will it be too chilly to do anything?"

"Nah. It seems like it's always the same temp there year-round even though I know it's not," Ed replied. "And I don't wanna wait until the summer."

"Right. I want as much time at the house as possible."

"So next I gotta convince Sarah and Justin to watch the twins. Shouldn't be too hard." He noticed Olivia start fidgeting and picking at her napkin. "What?"

"Why do we always default to Sarah and Justin?" Olivia asked. "Well, I know why, but, shouldn't we at least ask them? I feel like Brooke and Sonny and Sof are getting more distant."

Olivia's observation wasn't news to Ed. Brooke had always been the quieter, meeker, least accessible child. Ed chalked it up to her being the oldest and having carved out a more independent life for herself before she got married and had her daughter. She was also more introverted than Sarah, who, Ed was sure, physically needed a massive dose of human interaction to survive.

"I can ask them," Ed said. "But I don't wanna burden them. Brooke might say yes because she thinks she has to."

"Good point."

Ed gripped her thigh more firmly and used it as leverage to lean in for a kiss. "You know what else I love about you?" He asked.

"What's that?"

"How deeply considerate you are."

"You are too," Olivia pointed out, "We thought about this from two different angles."

Ed ran an index finger along her jawline. "I love your angles."

Olivia chuckled. "Is there anything you don't love?"

"I don't love that I can't make love to you right now."

Pretending to be annoyed, she pressed her lips into a straight line. "Seriously. If you could change one thing about me. Or about us. What would it be?"

"Nothing."

"Come on."

"Alright," he placed his hand back on her thigh. "I wish we traveled more. I know it's gonna get harder with the kids and school...but I never went anywhere when I was on the job. It was all work. Every single year I'd say, yeah, I gotta take us somewhere, anywhere, but I let the girls' things and NYPD get in the way. I don't wanna do that this time around."

"Then let's do it," Olivia said. "Let's promise each other, right now, that, hmmm, twice a year, we'll go somewhere we haven't been. And if that means Noah misses a couple days of school or we have to rearrange things...then we do it. We prioritize the experience."

Ed smiled and kissed her again. "And each other."

"Exactly," she replied with a grin, "And each other."

…

The three visitors were obviously tourists. They spoke a combination of French and English with American accents and the desk clerk noticed a United States Passport peeking out of the young woman's bag. When asked if they'd visited the hotel before, the older man answered they had and impatiently tapped the counter. He clearly wanted to expeditiously take care of the checking in process and get up to the suite they'd reserved for the week.

"Are you parking a car, sir?"

"No," the man replied, "But we'll need a car to the airport next Friday."

"Of course," the clerk smiled, "Back home?"

"No, Dublin." Though he was clearly not interested in small talk, the man still managed to be polite. "And we may need train tickets over to London...we might spend a day there."

"We can help you with that, too if you don't want to purchase online."

"Thank you."

The clerk inserted the room's key cards and explained how they could download the hotel's app and link their information so that the door could be opened via the app if needed. The trio expressed their thanks in French and hurried off toward the elevators. The valet was already at their door when they arrived at the suite. Wyatt opened the door and froze in his tracks. Until then, he could not bring himself to believe they would be able to request the very same room they'd shared with their parents, and he wasn't sure how he'd react if it actually happened.

Maggie shoved her way between the cart and Noah. "You okay, Wyatt?"

He nodded. It had been twenty years. Thousands of people had been in and out of the room in those decades, yet his parents' presence startled Wyatt. He remembered clearly how Ed and Olivia let them jump on the bed, order room service meals eaten on the terrace, and never complained when he and his siblings insisted on beginning and ending each day at the pool. Tears welled in his eyes. Maggie followed him onto the terrace. Noah motioned for the valet to drop their bags in the living area, gave him a tip, and went outside.

"Are we sure it's a good thing to be here?" Wyatt asked. He sniffled, rubbed his eyes, and added, "I guess I don't have a choice now."

Noah grabbed his siblings and they huddled together in a group hug for a moment. They arrived on a gorgeous Parisian spring day, and the sun bathed them and their immediate surroundings in a shimmery yellow hue. All three gripped the railing and stared out at the Seine and the activity below.

"Mom and Dad loved this place, and they loved being in love in this place," Maggie said, "I'm glad we're here. I feel like we owe it to them to do this."

Her bag was still looped around her torso and she felt around in the interior pocket for the two small capsules they'd brought with them. Inside each one were the combined ashes of their mother and father. That January, after both parents were gone, Maggie, Wyatt, and Noah promised each other they would find time in the spring to visit Paris and Ireland-two places that held symbolic meaning for their family. They brought along the capsules to place somewhere-they weren't quite sure exactly where. Maggie insisted they didn't need all parts of the plan just yet; she was sure they would get a sign.

"Me too," Noah said.

"And I'm glad it's only us," Maggie glanced apologetically at her brothers. There had been some disagreement about whether or not to make this an entire-family pilgrimage, but, in the end, it was decided this was a deeply personal journey that the three had to embark upon by themselves. It wasn't exactly a tourist-centered vacation.

"You're right," Wyatt said in a half-whisper. He sounded so much like his father, Maggie shivered.

"C'mon," Noah said, "Let's order. That's what we always did, remember? Order food and drinks before exploring?"

"Remember when mom and dad weren't paying attention and we drank the champagne that one time? They always got champagne even though they didn't really like it."

This memory finally got a brief laugh out of Wyatt. "They had no idea," he recalled. "They both thought the other one drank it."

"They didn't pay the closest attention to us when they were in those moods," Maggie said. "You know how they got-all googly eyed and lovey. They were like that forever." She took a deep breath and stared straight ahead, "They will be like that forever…" She batted a few tears away from her cheeks and collected herself. "Okay. Room service. Let's live it up, brothers."

Maggie linked arms with Noah and Wyatt and they went inside to peruse the menu. An hour later, they were back on the balcony, sipping the drinks and munching on morsels from a fruit and cheese tray. Noah remarked that he wouldn't mind spending the whole week right there. After all, they had everything they needed-delivery food and drink, a view, and picturesque weather.

"Maybe we can somehow leave the ashes here," Maggie suggested.

Noah shook his head, "They won't stay here. We need a place more permanent." Afraid he'd hurt his sister by shutting down her idea, he patted her hand, "Don't worry, Maggs. They know we're here. They'll show us the right place. I know they will."

"They've never, ever let us down," Wyatt murmured.

Maggie took a sip of the champagne and nodded in agreement.

"They never have," Noah said, "And they never will."

…..

Gone were the days when Olivia's phone rang incessantly at all hours of the night and day, so it was difficult to ignore the constant chimes even with Ed on top of her and slowly peeling off her clothes.

"Ed."

"Yeah, baby." He was working at her belt. One of the notches was getting stuck on a belt loop and he finally yanked it free without damaging the pants. "There."

"Ed, I have to get this."

He groaned and collapsed on top of her. "Why?" He moaned.

"It won't stop. And I can't concentrate."

"Well I certainly don't want you distracted," he said, "At least, not by the phone." His chin was on her chest and he looked up at her with a devilish smirk. "Need me to move?"

"No." Olivia rolled over and grabbed the device from her nightstand. She shot up to a sitting position, throwing Ed to the side in the process. After apologizing, she told him Brooke had called four times, left no messages, and finally sent a text that Sonny was having a tough time breathing and she'd called an ambulance.

"Can you call her back?" Olivia said. She jumped out of bed, "Tell her I'm on my way."

"To the hospital?"

"No, to watch Sofia."

"You want me to go instead?"

Olivia crawled back onto the mattress and kissed him. "Stay here with the kids," she said. "I may just bring Sof back here in the morning if it looks like they're going to be in the ER for a while."

"Okay." Ed pouted a little, but he was genuinely concerned about Sonny. He tugged at Olivia's shirt. "Hey."

"Yes?"

"Not how I wanted date night to end," he said, "But I had a really good time tonight."

"Oh, it's not ending," Olivia said with a mischievous grin, "Only paused."

"Agonizingly so," Ed replied, "But I can deal. I'll be right here, or somewhere close to here, when you get back, however long it takes."

Olivia smiled at him once more, threw on her fleece jacket, and sent Brooke a text that she was on her way. Her worry for Sonny was sincere but didn't mean she was any less reluctant to leave Ed lying in bed by himself. However, she was heartened knowing that Ed was true to his word. He wasn't going anywhere until she returned.

…..

#Tuckson

Dear readers,

This was incredibly difficult to write. I promise I am not giving up on this story because I love it and I love the AU characters I've created, but I might need a couple weeks to absorb the shock of Tucker's death and the elimination of all hopes he and Olivia would end up together. It's almost unbelievable how attached I (we?) were to a fictional character and his arc, but I suppose that's a testament to the storytelling. I hope, in time, the sadness will pass.