114. Thanks for all the review love! Let's keep the AU going!

With Sofia in tow, Olivia entered the apartment, dropped her purse and Sofia's bag, and strode down the foyer. She saw Noah and Wyatt playing with the basketball hoop in the twins' room and found Ed and Maggie at the coffee table. Maggie was frozen, her hands extended over a page of the New York Times watching Ed painstakingly painting her nails. He brushed on the dark pink polish in short strokes and took care to wipe away drops that had run onto Maggie's fingers.

"C'ful, Dah! Do'spill!"

"I'm tryin' not to, Maggs."

They both knew Olivia and Sofia were in the room, but their collective attention was consumed with the manicure. When Ed finally spoke, he did so out of the corner of his mouth without making eye contact with his wife or granddaughter.

"How's Carisi?" He instinctively reverted to the formal moniker for his son-in-law.

"Not good," Olivia kissed Sofia on the side of her head. She was trying to be released onto the floor, but Olivia held onto her because she was certain she would make a beeline for the table. "They have him on fluids. He definitely has the flu but they're going to look at his lungs. He's having trouble breathing."

"Damn," Ed replied under his breath then glanced at Maggie, and added, "Don't repeat that." Maggie was paying no attention to anything other than the color on her nails, so Ed was safe. He finished her second pinkie and screwed the brush back into the bottle. "All done, baby girl," he said, "Now ya gotta blow on 'em, like this." Ed blew a few gentle breaths, "Or, you can wave 'em around. But sit still until they dry."

"Dy now, Dada?"

"Nope. Imma put a show on for ya. Whatcha want?"

"Pow'Puff!"

"You got it, kid." Ed kissed her head and reminded her once again to sit still and move her hands as little as possible. That was a tough order since Maggie loved mimicking the movements of the Power Puff Girls. He snuck over, kissed Sofia, kissed Olivia, and lingered on his wife's lips too long for Maggie's liking.

She smacked the table with her palms, careful to keep her fingers apart, and frowned. "PowPUFF DADA!"

"I can't kiss Mommy first?"

"NO KISS! POW PUFF!"

Ed went to grab the remote and muttered, "Didn't think her being appalled by mom and dad kissing would start so early."

Olivia sat next to Maggie, keeping Sofia in her lap. "Pretty nails, sweet girl," she cooed.

"You ha'pink, Mama?" Maggie froze her entire body from the neck down and looked up at Olivia with her wide, blue eyes.

"No...not now, but maybe Daddy will paint my nails, too?"

"He will," Ed answered, "Make sure you tip well."

Olivia winked at him, "Oh I will, Captain."

…..

Sometime around midnight, Ed stopped texting Olivia. She hadn't answered his last three status-seeking messages, and, though he knew she was working, frustration and anger were setting in. The evil side of him wanted to test her by sending a message about Noah, but as soon as the thought popped into his head, crushing remorse followed. The last thing he wanted was to be malicious; nevertheless, he was painfully disappointed their night out had been canceled by an SVU call, particularly one that didn't need her immediate attention. He was annoyed she couldn't grasp the idea of being in charge.

Olivia returned tired and frustrated. She grumbled about a botched rape kit and griped about Barba, but the rant was delivered under her breath and as so choppy, Ed couldn't grasp enough to formulate a reply. He gallantly took her coat and asked if he could get her anything. At one point, he mentioned not hearing from her and there was enough venom in his tone to irk Olivia.

"I was working, Ed. I can't just drop everything and call you."

"I was only askin' about a timetable. And if you were okay."

"I'm never okay when we're on a call," Olivia sniped. "How do you not know that by now?" She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, "Ed...this...this isn't the first time...it won't be the last, I…"

"What, Liv?"

"I think we might want to consider taking a break. I'm barely managing to take care of Noah and command a squad at the same time. You shouldn't always come in third place."

"I've been tellin' ya it's okay to step back from the job...delegate-"

"-That's really not the point I'm making here."

"What is the point?"

What had been an exhausted, pleading look in her eyes became an angry glare, "I feel like we've drifted apart in the past few months. It was so easy at first and now it's a slog, it's work to even be together for one night. This isn't fair to either of us."

It wasn't difficult for Ed to read between the lines. He stepped closer to her and took her hands. "I don't want what I think you're about to say. I'm gonna leave now, but I'm not staying gone unless you want me to," he kissed her forehead, "Sometimes it is work."

Olivia swallowed hard. She expected tears, but it was quite possible she was too tired to cry.

"I happen to think we're worth it," Ed added before turning to grab his coat, "Think about it," he gave her fingers a final squeeze and locked eyes with her for what he hoped would not be the last time. "I love you."

…

In order for Maggie and Wyatt to lie down for their naps, Olivia had to hide Sofia. At first, she and Ed figured the one-year-old could sleep with one of the twins, but Maggie reacted to the intrusion with a sassy "my bed" and Wyatt echoed the sentiment. The habit of him following his sister's lead started at the beach and was continuing with full force. Leaving Ed to read a naptime story, Olivia retreated to the master bedroom, sat in the armchair, and soothed her granddaughter to sleep. Once she was sure Sofia was out, she put her in Noah's bed, dug out the safety rail from the closet, and secured it before joining Ed on the living room sofa.

"Ya know," Ed said into the side of her head as she snuggled up to him, "I think I may have overestimated our stamina when I said I wanted another kid."

Laughing, Olivia replied, "When did you say you wanted another one?"

"Maybe I didn't say it," he said, "I think about it a lot."

Shocked, Olivia pushed herself away from him, to another cushion, and raised her eyebrows so high they almost touched her hairline. "You do?"

"Yeah," Ed replied, unembarrassed, "Especially when we're in bed. Liv, I...I'm happier than I ever thought I could be. But there's always gonna be this nagging regret we didn't get enough time. Why...all those years ago...you remember when we thought that cop was assaulting people under the West Side Highway? Why didn't I just go for it then? And it-"

"-it would have been a disaster," Olivia's voice was soft and comforting. They had talked about this so many times before, but Ed never seemed completely satisfied by their realistic analyses and he brought up the subject at least once a year. "First of all, you were married. Second of all, I wasn't ready for something like this. I wasn't ready when we started seeing each other a few years ago, or, well, I didn't think I was or I would ever be."

Ed pouted.

"Stop," Olivia implored even though she knew Ed was partially faking it. Playing along, she inched back to his side and started kissing him. "How can I get you in a good mood again, Ed Tucker?" Olivia wasted no time. She clutched his leg where his thigh met his hip and bit at his earlobe.

Ed gasped and put his hands over the back pockets of her jeans. "Somethin' like that," he croaked, "God, Liv, baby…keep goin."

Since it was usually Ed who initiated the foreplay, the impending couch tryst was extra erotic and romantic. Olivia kissed her way to his other ear, teased at the lobe, whispered dirty words in his ear, and grinned when she felt him shiver. Straddling him, she felt the bulge in his pants, but willed herself to stay focused. Her husband had been painting nails and baby piling and playing basketball and putting puzzles together and pushing toddlers in empty boxes across the floor all morning and early afternoon-he deserved some loving.

"God dammit."

Sarah was calling. And when Sarah actually made a phone call rather than text, there was an emergency. Ed swiped his phone from the opposite cushion and answered calmly. "Hey, Sare." He put the phone on speaker and he and Olivia listened as she blurted out, in one breathless sentence, that she was running extremely late and wouldn't be able to pick up Noah from school.

"But," she said brightly, "G is there and she said she can take him home!"

Ed responded immediately, "She sure?" He trusted G and her getting Noah gave him at least thirty minutes, maybe an hour longer with his wife.

"Yes!"

"She's not on the list," Olivia said.

"We'll call," Ed said. "Thanks Sare. See ya later." He hung up and immediately dialed the school. Smirking at Olivia, he coaxed the clerk who answered the lower school phone to allow their fundraising contractor to check out their first grader. Arrangements made, he tossed the phone aside and half-lifted Olivia back onto his lap. "Please continue."

"Ed, I, We-"

Now it was Ed's turn to stop her, "Shhh," he said, "Noah'll love G taking him home and she'll love bringing him home, and we're in a house of overfed, overtired kids. Everyone wins."

Olivia played with a few wisps of his hair, "You always make so much sense."

"I don't really wanna make sense right now," he replied naughtily, "So, uh-"

Olivia went back to his ear.

"Yeah…" he intoned, "Right there."

…

Dublin, to the Tucker kids, was far more impressive than London. Ed chalked it up to their biological attachment to the area. Even Noah, who would one day discover his actual ancestry and had been flooded with Irishness from his grandmother, immediately seemed at home in the city. To Ed's and Olivia's surprise, one of their trio's favorite outings was a trip to Phoenix Park to watch the wild deer. They rode bikes and stopped several times to watch the creatures interact with each other. In the shadow of the Papal Cross, Wyatt murmured, "I love it here." He asked about the meaning of the cross and Ed explained it was erected for the Pope's visit in the 1970s. He had barely finished the explanation when Maggie asked why their family didn't regularly attend church.

"Grandma Caroline did," Noah said.

Ed and Olivia exchanged exasperated looks. Noah wasn't helping.

"Well, uh…"

"Sweetie," Olivia interjected, much to Ed's relief, "Religion is very complicated and very personal. Grandma Caroline believed very much in her religion. Your Dad, well, some people who were supposed to be good people in the church, did some very bad things. They stole. They hurt other people-" Olivia felt she was digging herself a hole, but all three kids still seemed interested, "-so we decided it was okay to raise you three believing there's a God, but letting you wait until you're older to decide how to believe in God."

"I feel really close to God here," Wyatt murmured. He wandered across the bright green grass, looking around aimlessly.

The rest of his family stayed on the path and let him wander. Olivia had once predicted that Maggie and Noah would one day adopt a religion-either one they subscribed to in college or as the result of a significant other. But Wyatt? She was sure her youngest son would spend his entire life as the most spiritual but most vehemently opposed to organized religion. Right there on the Phoenix Green, they witnessed Wyatt find a part of what would become his belief system.

After Dublin, the family traveled south to the town where Caroline was born, the place where Ed had taken her years ago. It was near the Titanic's last port of call, and all of the touristy items in the area delighted the kids. They became obsessed with the stories, the photographs, the passenger lists, historically accurate souvenirs, and cheesy gift shop items. At one point Noah found a replica Heart of the Ocean necklace and used some of his money to buy it for Mia. "She'll love it," he said, smiling as he stowed the gift in his bag. Ed and Olivia smiled, too, but also shook their heads, amazed the movie had such staying power.

Caroline had been buried in a cemetery in New York next to her husband, but she requested that one of the Connemara marble bracelets she'd owned forever be tossed into Cork Harbour after she was gone. Ed could still hear her voice as he extracted the piece of jewelry from his jacket pocket.

"Eddie, everyone gets something, but this one, this one that I got after Jackie...that one goes back."

"I'll do it, Ma."

"And you can't mail it and ask someone else."

"I'll do it, Ma."

Noah, Maggie, and Wyatt saw their parents link arms and Ed produce the bracelet. They didn't look away when Olivia kissed Ed's cheek, whispered in his ear, and kissed him again. They didn't wince or grimace when their father teared up, clutched the bracelet in his hands, and tossed it in the water, saying, "There ya go Ma. Done."

Maggie ran to Ed's side and hugged him. "Daddy, I love you."

"I love you, Margaret Caroline."

"You named me after Grandma."

"We did," Ed replied, "We knew you'd be just like her."

"DEAD?"

Olivia burst into laughter. "Maggie, honey, that was so perfect...your Grandmother...she was so funny...just like you…"

"C'mon," Ed gathered all four people in his arms, "Time for some warm stew."

"YUM!"

"YES!"

Wyatt was the only one who crinkled his nose, "But not with Gramma's soda bread."

Olivia and Ed whipped around, stunned. "How do you remember that?"

Wyatt shrugged. "I dunno. I just do."

….

Noah Tucker was retrieved from his first grade class three minutes early. The familiar clerk explained to him that his sister Sarah was caught at work and G would be taking him home. Used to fussy children, the clerk was pleasantly shocked when Noah broke into a grin, tightened the straps on his backpack, and looked past her shoulder.

"Where's G?"

"You know G?" The clerk asked even though Ed had stressed that the two knew each other.

"Yes," Noah said, "She's Sare Bear's neighbor and she babysits us." The clerk didn't have time to respond, because G turned the corner and before she could greet him, he screamed, "GEEEEE!" And sprinted into her arms. "You pickin' me up t'day! What we gonna do?"

Having already been interrogated by the clerk, G focused all her attention on Noah. He was gleeful, giddy, and bouncing from foot-to-foot. The problem was, she was authorized to take him home, nothing else, and she explained this to Noah as simply as possible.

Noah narrowed his eyes. "You have phone?"

"Yes. Don't you?"

"S'dead."

"Oh, well, yes I do."

"Call my mom. Den we c'go somewhere."

G had work to do. She was overwhelmed, swamped, exhausted, and just wanted to go home and crawl into bed, but Noah's energy was contagious. How could she say no to this beaming little boy in his burgundy-and-khaki school uniform with the almost-too-big backpack hanging from his shoulders? She called Olivia and was a little startled at how quickly she'd given permission for G to take Noah to eat.

"Lessgo," Noah took her hand.

"Where are we going?"

"You like tacos?"

"I love tacos. And burritos."

"Whassa burrito?"

"Seriously?" G asked Noah, feeling bad about being so incredulous. He stared back at her and she rubbed his head, shoving his beanie cap down below his eyes, "I'll take you to Dos Toros," she said, "You'll love it."

…

The weeks between Ed walking out of her apartment with conditions and Olivia flip-flopping between regret and frustration passed quickly, for SVU and motherhood never stopped. When Olivia and the squad arrived at the first annual fundraiser to support families of officers who were battling mental health problems or had committed suicide, she was ready to collapse. Of course, the usual smarmy, sleazy men leered at Olivia and Rollins, but after a couple of wine, Benson caught a second wind. She mingled with people she hadn't seen in years and was talking to one of her former academy acquaintances when she saw Ed saunter across the room with a redheaded woman clutching his arm. Her entire body went numb. She was sure her stomach dropped to the floor. She quickly ended her conversation and found Fin.

"Hey," she said, "How's it going?"

Fin shrugged. "Not my scene. I'm ready to go. Want me to take you home?"

Olivia groaned, "I never get out...and this is my out...and it's horrible," she pretended to see Tucker for the first time, "And...there's Ed...with-"

"-Oh, he's been seein' her for a while. She's a nurse. I thought you knew?" Fin genuinely seemed remorseful for not warning his friend and boss in advance.

"How would I know?"

"I know."

"How do you know?"

Fin chuckled. "Believe it or not, some people still talk to me. Rumor was, you got rid of Tucker, and that very night he caught an officer-involved and met her at the hospital."

"You've got to be kidding me."

Fin shrugged. "As hard as we try to find someone and it's that easy?"

"I wasn't even trying…" Olivia trailed off.

"Hey, Liv…"

She turned to him and grabbed his elbow. "Can we be friends for a minute?"

"Sure."

"I wasn't trying," she said, more confidently this time, "And he slowly, really, really…" she stared at her wine glass as if to attribute her inability to find words to its contents, "he worked his way into my life-"

"-sounds like you're blaming him."

"I'm not. I...God, the regret I'm feeling right now is…" she bit her lip and choked back tears, "Unbearable."

Fin peered across the room. "Look, Liv, he's not wearin' a ring. Neither is she. No harm no foul. Just go over there."

"Right."

He shot her his classic, lets-get-serious-look.

"You don't? I will."

Olivia squeezed his elbow and downed the rest of her wine.

"You're a good friend, Fin."

…..

Noah and G shared a small table at a restaurant Noah had never been to before but G insisted had great burritos. It was a small place and they were a bit crammed against the wall, but he didn't mind. G had to laugh when Noah remarked that she wasn't having a "G & T" like Sare Bear. She told Noah the restaurant didn't serve gin, but he didn't quite understand.

"You got spicy, G?"

"A little spicy."

"I like spicy. Mommy and Daddy let me try their stuff sometimes. G? Whatcha doin at my school?"

"I'm helping your school raise money so you have all those great computers and the playspace...And to keep making sure the school and the kids have what they need."

"We have lots!"

"You do...what's your favorite part about school?"

Noah cracked up, "Mommy's always askin' me that!"

G shrugged, "Adults do that. Sorry." The burritos arrived and Noah appeared confused, "So, just, pick it up and take a little bite and we can get some salsa if you need it."

Noah followed directions. Chewed. Nodded. "Yeah...s'really good...but I want a lil' salsa. You pick, G."

"Okay. Trust me?"

Noah grinned.

"Trust ya!"

….

#Tuckson.

I'LL NEVER LET GO!