122.

Most cops had been on the wrong side of the interrogation table at some point in their careers. It was possible for even the most ethical, honest police officers to have to endure the skeptical glares of another precinct's squad, or, worse, those of Internal Affairs investigators. Most of the times the interviews were pro forma, but, in other cases, the allegations ended up ruining careers. Ed Tucker knew, each time he closed or pursued an accusation, he had the power to dictate many people's futures, and he took his role seriously. He pored over files and statements, stayed up to date on psychological research, and trusted his instincts. This combination of diligence and an innate sense of right and wrong rarely failed. But it was becoming painfully clear that he had, unwittingly, been an accomplice to Gary Wald's crimes.

Ed showed up at SVU early one morning for his meeting with Rollins. It was strange to walk into Olivia's former office and see the blonde Sergeant sitting behind what was once his wife's desk. He suggested they move to the adjacent interview room and Rollins motioned for him to follow her inside. Unbeknownst to Ed, Olivia had given her a heads up that Ed had been extremely agitated since discovering his connection to Rachel Wilson, so Rollins tried to be as friendly yet professional as possible. After all, she had a potentially explosive case on her hands.

Rollins clicked her pen and jotted notes as Ed spoke. He started from the beginning, when he and Gary were first partnered together and survived a particularly violent stretch of years in the Twenty-Second Precinct. He recalled Gary's philandering and stressed, with a great deal of regret, that department culture at the time was rife with questionable, if not immoral behavior. An extramarital affair, Ed admitted, wasn't seen as a huge deal, and Gary's response to Rachel's allegations seemed plausible, especially after they discovered she'd had relationships with other married cops.

"So you made sure Rachel knew how all of this would play out?" Rollins asked. "Four broken marriages, ended careers, ruined reputations?"

"She knew how it would play out," Ed replied, "I didn't have to spell it out. I keep telling myself, at the end of the day, it was her choice not to pursue charges, but, if I'm bein' totally honest," Tucker looked at Rollins, begging for the tiniest hint of understanding, "I let it go. I could have called her back, followed up after she went silent, and I didn't."

Rollins pressed her lips in a straight line. She believed him, but her self-righteousness wouldn't allow her to let him off the hook with a thank you and a promise she'd deploy the team to investigate Wald who was now a high-powered, well-respected private security consultant. "So you let it stay buried," she concluded, clicking her pen with finality.

"If that's what you want to call it," Tucker shot back, "But it wasn't buried. The ball was in her court, she let it stay there," he leaned forward on his elbows, "Do you have any idea how ashamed I am to admit this? To put the pieces together more than a decade after the fact and know how cruel it sounds? You don't get it. It was different then. I'm not sayin' it was right, but it was different. Today, had the same thing happened, there're a dozen places I coulda sent her to get help, counseling, anonymously, and without making a formal complaint or pressing charges. Hell, Olivia herself woulda helped her. But where we're at now is not where we were then."

Rollins stared at the sparse notes on her legal pad, "I don't think we have anything here to even start an investigation," she said, "It would be your word against his, Rachel's hysterical video, and nothing else. No physical evidence, nothing. Unless," her eyes were piercing, "There was a bigger coverup."

"How many times do I have to tell you there was no cover up? If we were guilty of anything it's apathy."

"I'll go talk to Gary," Rollins said, "In the meantime, don't contact him."

While he acknowledged Rollins had to say this, Ed was annoyed at being treated like a common perp. "Of course not." He slid his chair back and heard the familiar screeching of metal on concrete.

"Tucker," Rollins said, "This probably won't go anywhere, but, you need to be prepared, to think about a trial, you'd have to testify, you'd have to maybe admit some things on the stand, under oath, that you don't want out there, don't want Liv to know-"

"-Liv knows everything there is to know," he said, "But I can't have Rachel on my conscience."

Rollins softened, "How is Liv? I wanted to call...I wasn't sure what to say."

"She's hangin' in there," he said, "It was a shock."

"Yeah."

Ed offered a little wave before he left. "Let me know what's next," he said, "See ya later."

….

Maggie indigantly kicked the dirt around the pitcher's rubber and slammed the ball into her mitt. Ed, his knees too aged to crouch, sat on the ball bucket behind home plate and waited for his daughter to finish whining.

"So what if I hit some batters," Maggie waved her arms in the air and event hough she was wearing sunglasses Ed could tell she was rolling her eyes, "I can't pitch until I'm more accurate? That is SO DUMB!" She continued on and Ed let her rant. He knew his daughter. There were times when she needed him to intervene and times when she needed to vent, and now was an instance of the latter.

After a few more minutes, he punched his own glove. "C'mon, throw some."

"Fine."

"Finish the pitch. Snap it."

"I know."

Maggie fired pitch after pitch. Ed adjusted the target and Maggie, without fail, hit it. She was locked in, fierce, sweating, and impressively accurate. At one point Ed held the ball and asked, "What's different in a game?"

"Huh?"

"What's different in a game? Why are you dead on now?"

"There's no batter."

"You want to hit the batter?" Ed smirked and Maggie giggled.

"I don't like the batter," she said, "But I promise I'm not trying to hit them."

Ed threw the ball back. "So, I'm gonna be the batter now."

"No," Maggie said firmly.

"You're gonna hit me?"

"I might."

"Why can you hit all the spots I give ya on purpose but you don't want to hit the batter and you hit them?"

Maggie shrugged.

"Pick a target and hit it, Maggs. That's what pitching's all about. Don't look at the person, the face, the uniform, the helmet. You gotta be in your own little world when you're up there on the mound-"

"-we don't have a mound."

Ed corrected himself, "-in the circle." He hung his mitt on the fence directly behind home plate. "Aim for that," he directed his daughter. "Don't look at me. Don't look at anything but that target." Ed dug in at the batter's box. "Fire it."

Maggie turned around and closed her eyes. When she faced the plate again, she zeroed in on her father's old mitt and wound up. After delivering a strike, she smiled triumphantly.

"There ya go," Ed said and threw a ball back to her, "You may have to do your little dance before each pitch, but I think we're onto something."

Maggie grinned. "Thanks, Daddy."

Ed tapped the plate with the bat and got into a stance, "Anytime."

….

After the twins ate breakfast and were changed out of their pajamas, Olivia packed them in the stroller and took them out for a walk and a stop at the park. It was cold but not windy and she wanted to give them fresh air and space to run around before the weekend's predicted snow. Both Maggie and Wyatt happily tolerated their heads and hands being shoved into hats and mittens. They smiled and excitedly echoed Olivia when she told them they were going to play at the park. When they arrived at their usual DeWitt Clinton stop, the twins made a beeline for the jungle gym and slide. Olivia sat on a nearby bench and watched the toddlers with a careful eye. Her thoughts, however, drifted to Brian Cassidy.

It had been a few years since she'd bumped into him at Munch's funeral, and she had treated him poorly. She'd been petty, if not rude, and she'd paid no attention to his whereabouts between then and now. Whenever he came to mind, which was not often, she did not entertain the thought long enough to wonder where he was or what he was doing. If pressed, she would have guessed he was in Florida, near his mother, taking a second stab at retirement. As it turned out, she was mostly right.

His mother.

Despite the problems with their coupling, Olivia had always liked Mrs. Cassidy. She was a sweet, generous woman who appreciated simple gestures such as their early dinners together and wholeheartedly loved her son. Olivia always felt like she saw the true Brian when he was around his mother, but, looking back and scrutinizing their interactions through this different lens, she realized he was guarded, even with the woman who raised him. That had been their problem all along-she and Brian both were to blame for their relationship struggles, but, at the core of their issues, was that he was never fully committed to loving her. He complained she never opened up to him, but Olivia never felt comfortable extending him such a high level of trust.

Snapping herself back to reality, Olivia zeroed in on the twins. They were perfectly happy making the loop from slide to jungle gym and back to the top of the slide, and she suspected they were thrilled to have the playground mostly to themselves. At one point, Maggie tore off her hat and mittens and tossed them down the slide before she went down. Olivia called her over. "Maggie," she said as sternly as possible, "Keep your hat and mittens on."

"Dey do side, Mama!" Maggie exclaimed cheerfully.

"Yes they did. But they can't keep you warm if they're on the slide. Mittens on hands," she tugged the mittens on and tucked them inside the sleeves of Maggie's parka, "And hat on head."

"Ha'onHead!"

"That's right."

"MAGG!" Wyatt was at the top of the slide again, "MAGG! SIDE!"

"Go slide, sweet girl," Olivia gave Maggie a kiss and the little girl ran to join her brother. Olivia picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts. She was sure she still had Mrs. Cassidy's number, and she needed to call her sooner rather than later. Several blocks away, Ed was sitting in interview with Rollins and here she was, about to offer condolences to an elderly woman who was now all alone in the world. Olivia took a deep breath and sent a heart to Ed before dialing Mrs. Cassidy. It was a rough day all round.

…..

Ed was early. He was rarely early and rarely late. Always on time. But today he was tasked with picking up Noah from day care for the first time and had to ensure it all went smoothly. He left work early thinking he would stop at home and chance clothes only to reconsider. It would be better for him to get Noah in his suit. Yes, he would be taken very seriously, especially if he left his shield on his belt and he made it a point to reveal the Glock.

The people at the desk were uninterested in his police credentials. They cross-referenced his name with the list Olivia provided and waved him through. He stepped into the inner sanctum of day care, unsure of what to do until he heard Noah's toddler voice shout, "ED!"

"Hey bud!" He crouched and gathered Noah into his arms. "Ready to go?"

"Gotta get da bag," Noah pointed to the cubbies. Olivia had given him very specific instructions, but Ed was glad to have Noah's additional assistance. He and Noah collected all the relevant items and Ed nodded to the attendants on the way out.

"Alright, bud. We're gonna go to my place for a while until Mommy comes. You hungry?"

Noah shook his head.

"You might get hungry," Ed replied, "We'll get some snacks."

"Pay ball, Ed!"

"You want to play some ball?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Well then, lemme go change clothes and we'll, uh, go get a ball. Sound good?"

Noah grinned and nodded vigorously.

"Wanna take a picture and send it to Mommy?"

He nodded again.

Ed snapped a selfie. Noah was hugging his head and partially obscuring Ed's eyes and nose. It was a great, joyful photo, and Olivia immediately replied with a capitalized thank you and a heart. Ed told her they were headed to the park and he'd be happy to make dinner. Olivia loved the plan and predicted she'd be out of the office in time for the three of them to eat together.

Ed took Noah to his apartment where he changed into jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers. On the way to the park, he stopped at a drugstore and Noah picked out a soccer ball and a regular bouncy ball. They found a spot at a nearby park and Ed followed Noah's lead as he made up a game. Before long, he had completely lost track of time and his phone was vibrating in his pocket. It was Olivia. He quickly called her back.

"Hey," he said, a little breathlessly, "Sorry, we were playin and got a little carried away."

Olivia wasn't angry, and, when she heard Noah's faint "kick it Ed!" her heart melted. "Where are you?"

"Little park by my building."

"I'll meet you there," Olivia said.

"Sure?"

"Yes. I'm leaving now and I'll go change and come there."

"Alright. Hey, No, Mommy's on her way."

Noah shouted, "YAYYYYYYYY!"

"Well, one of us is excited," Olivia said.

"Nah," Ed replied, "We're all excited." He was met by silence. What did he say that was wrong? It was all-

"-I can't wait to see you too," she said softly. "I'll see you soon."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Ed replied, "I can't wait."

…..

Before going to pick up her father's SUV and going to Riverdale, Sarah stopped at Noah school and picked him up. The night before she'd stopped by to pick up keys and asked Noah if he wanted to accompany her to retrieve Caroline. He was all too happy to tag along. Sarah checked him out of school a little early so they wouldn't have to fight Friday rush hour traffic and she promised Noah she would eventually make up for them not stopping for a proper after school snack. On the way they sang along to their favorite songs and chatted as usual. Except, Noah started to get frustrated with being confined to the back seat.

"Sare Bear, can I move up front with you?"

"No," she said, "It is imperative you remain in the back seat in your booster."

"What's 'perative?"

"It means it's a rule. Like, the most serious rule. All rules are serious, but if something is imperative it means it one-hundred percent must be done."

Noah stared out at the Upper West Side and pondered the explanation. "When c'I sit in front?"

"When you're thirteen."

"Dat's," he took a moment to do some mental math, "Six years."

"You're more than halfway."

"Yep! Then after that I can drive."

"Oh boy. Don't you think it's easier to just take the train?"

"Yeah but da train doesn't go to Grammas!"

"Well, it does, but we go and get Grandma because we don't want her riding the train. Plus it's fun to borrow Daddy's car. And we have to stop at Costco for our party tonight."

"I LOVE Costco!"

"I know you do!"

"Why we havin' da party tonight?" Noah asked. He kicked his feet and pulled on the earflaps of his hat. He was old enough now to understand that his family gathered mostly for special occasions, and even he understood his Saturday morning basketball game did not exactly qualify as special.

"Oh, just to get together and have fun," Sarah said, "Sometimes it's good to have a party for no reason."

"Justy gonna be there?"

"Yep! He's at home now getting everything ready. He's the best. Noey, when you're a husband you must remember to be the best. And that means to take care of your wife and be nice and do things like clean and pick up food for parties she decides to throw at the last minute."

"Kay."

"So basically, be like Daddy and Justy."

"Okay. I will Sare Bear. And I hold da doors too and pay."

"And that."

"Daddy says you gotta be a gen-tle-man."

"That's right. Now," Sarah steered the car onto the exit. They were only a few minutes away from Caroline's neighborhood and she was pleased with the light traffic. "You might find that some people don't like this old-school gentleman stuff, but you pay and hold doors anyway."

"Mommy likes it when Daddy pays and holds doors."

Sarah grinned. "How do you know that?"

"Cause when he does she says thank you and gives him a kiss!"

"Gawd, I love that," Sarah said, "Mommy and Daddy love each other so much. As I've said before, they're goals."

"You and Justy goals?"

"Yes we are. But Mommy and Daddy are super goals."

"Mommy and Daddy were sad last night," Noah said solemnly.

Sarah could tell whatever happened had been bothering Noah since the previous evening. "They were? What happened?" She knew very well what had happened but decided to let Noah dictate the course of the conversation.

"I dunno," Noah replied, "Daddy had to go talk to da p'lice and a guy died. So Mommy was crying and Daddy said s'okay and then he hugged Mommy."

"And then what happened?"

"I went back to my room."

"Noey, you have to stick around longer when you see these things. I need more info."

Noah giggled, "Sare Bear, it was past my bedtime!"

"Then why were you up?"

"I was playin' Yahtzee on my phone!"

"Noey! You must turn the phone off at night! I'll get in trouble!"

"I wasn't playin with you," Noah pointed out with the attitude he'd recently started to show, "I was playin with G!"

"Oh, well, then G will get in trouble. And, you do realize, not many kids your age even have phones?"

"I was jus' playin."

"And spying on your parents."

"Yeah…"

"It's okay, Noey. We all do that. Just make sure you turn the phone off at night. I can't have you falling asleep in class. You have eleven more grades after this one and you must be well-rested and educated."

"Okay."

"Save Yahtzee for the weekends."

"Okay. But, Sare Bear, you tell G I can only play on da weekends?"

"I'll tell her."

"She c'come to da party."

Sarah nodded. "Very good idea. When we get to Grandma's I'll text her."

….