123.

Sarah's party went off without a hitch. Everyone either pretended to be or actually was in a festive mood, and the family interacted normally. Justin set up food stations around the apartment and the kitchen island served as the bar. The conversations were jovial and the laughter was, at times, loud enough for Sarah to worry about bothering the neighbors. When Ed complimented the mini quiches, Justin took credit for them, but Noah was quick to mention they'd bought everything a few hours ago at Costco and that the extent of their cooking had involved removing the appetizers from boxes and putting them in the oven.

"Busted," Justin said, grinning and mussing Noah's hair.

Noah shrugged, "But you made those potions!" He said, referring to the pitchers of sangria and margaritas Justin had mixed earlier. He graciously included a non-alcoholic version for the kids.

"He sure did," Sarah twirled around the living room and raised her empty glass, "And it's time for a refill!"

Sonny arrived later than everyone else. Brooke greeted him with a hearty kiss and hug and everyone grinned at Sofia when she ran to Sonny shouting "DADDY!" Confused at someone else being called "Daddy," Maggie furrowed her brow and drifted over to Ed. She hugged his legs and clamored to be picked up.

"Hey there Maggie May," he said before kissing her cheek and swaying her back and forth. He got a whiff of the baby shampoo they used and breathed deeply.

"Daddy." Maggie said possessively, as if it were unforgivably offensive for anyone else to address someone using the moniker.

"Daddy's gotcha." He growled and nuzzled her neck, making her laugh, and when he looked up he saw Olivia smiling at them with a hint of glistening tears in her eyes. He winked at her, smirked, and hugged Maggie until she started wiggling out of his grasp.

Olivia seized every opportunity she could to interact with Caroline, so she spent most of the evening at her mother-in-law's side. Ed saw them laughing and leaning into one another. He was content to simply watch them chat, but Sonny and Justin and, of course, the kids wanted his attention. He made small talk and played with the kids, but never took his eyes off Olivia for more than a few minutes. She was very skilled at hiding signs of distress, but Ed noticed signs others could not detect and he was ready to get her out of there at the drop of a hat if need be.

"Wyatt Edward!" Caroline exclaimed at one point after Wyatt had wandered over to her side offering a toy, "Your stitches are gone!"

Wyatt beamed and touched his forehead, "No siches, Gamma! AH'Gone! Dotter too'em'out!"

Caroline grabbed Wyatt by the head and kissed him. "You are such a perfect boy," she said, "A little scar, but that's character. Now go get another cookie. I made all of them for you."

"Grandma," Sarah said, "You are such a liar."

"He'll never know that."

"So," Sarah sat on the coffee table facing Olivia and Caroline, "How was it when Wyatt got his stitches out? Did he cry?"

"No," Olivia replied, "But I almost did."

Brooke drifted over and sat next to Olivia. She wrapped herself in her oversized sweater and mumbled something about it being cold in the apartment but the words were either inaudible or ignored in favor of the fascination surrounding Wyatt's most recent doctor visit.

"It looks way worse than it is," Olivia continued, "A couple of snips and they were out. They gave him a local, but he even laughed a little and said it tickled. And then they gave him a lollipop and," she leaned forward, clearly delighted with the next detail, "He hugged the doctor. It was so cute."

"Omigod."

"Eddie used to hug everyone," Caroline said.

Brooke raised her eyebrows, "I don't believe that for one second."

"It's true," Caroline said, "You wanted a hug, you went to Eddie."

Sarah and Brooke both continued to express their mutual disbelief and Caroline defended her claim. She tapped Olivia's knee, "You know I'm telling the truth, don't you dearie?"

Olivia glanced at Ed in profile, holding a drink, his thick forearms peeking out from under his rolled-up shirtsleeves. "If you're talking about now I wouldn't doubt you one bit. But, I have to agree with the girls, here, Caroline. Younger Ed a hugger? I can't imagine it…"

Not missing a beat, Caroline retorted, "Well that's only because he was the big bad wolf to you until a few years ago," she said, "He's always been my Eddie. A little grumbly sometimes, but my Eddie. Eddie!" She called, "Get over here and give your mother a hug!"

Ed came over, leaned down to hug his mother, and then stole a quick kiss with his wife. "What's goin on over here?" He asked. "Talkin' about me?"

"Yes," Sarah said.

Ed shrugged and started to walk back to the male's side of the room, "Let me know if I can be of further assistance."

Sarah raised her glass and cooed, "Will do!" She simpered at Olivia, "Gawwwd, he's so romantical with you."

Brooke nudged Olivia with her shoulder, "You brought back the hugger in Ed Tucker," she quipped.

Caroline shook the ice in her glass, "Amen to that."

…..

There were many obstacles to functioning as both commanding officer and detective, but, for Olivia, the most difficult challenge to operating with a skeleton squad was keeping up with the massive amounts of paperwork and emails flooding her desk. On one fortuitously slow late afternoon, she managed to clear her electronic inbox and set a goal to address a handful of other items before leaving. She would easily make it home in time to have dinner with Noah and put him to bed. Her focus had been so laserlike that she hadn't noticed the messages on her phone. When she went to send a text update to Lucy, she was greeted with Ed Tucker's name, multiple times.

"Lieutenant," he intentionally greeted her in his deepest, sexiest voice. He was feeling confident, a bit cocky, and he was always thrilled to talk to her.

"Hi there," she said. "What's going on? Who do I need to reel in?"

"You know what? Nobody."

"Nobody?"

"Nope," he replied, "Not tonight. But, I was wonderin' if you maybe had time to meet me for a drink before ya went home."

Squinting, Olivia asked, "Are you here right now?"

"No, why?"

"Because you sound like you know I have, for once, a handle on my job."

"I always assume you have a handle on it."

"Well, that's very nice of you to say," Olivia said. "But it's not always true."

"Not always true for me either," Ed replied, "And I probably sound like this because, uh, I really would like to see ya if you have time."

The innocence and honesty in his voice took Olivia's breath away and she needed a few extra seconds to respond. "You know, I had a few other things to wrap up here but...I want to see you too. I only have about an hour though."

"I'll take it."

They agreed on a spot and Olivia began packing up her things before she and Ed ended the call. "I'm on my way out now," she said, flipping the switch on her office lights, "Be there in about ten minutes."

"See you in ten." Over at IAB, in his office, Ed flipped his phone in the air and deftly caught it. He figured she would need at least a half hour before leaving her precinct. But, only ten minutes? Great, he thought, that meant her "about an hour" could possibly be extended and Ed Tucker was coming to appreciate every second he was able to be in the presence of Olivia Benson.

They squeezed in two cocktails and several laughs. At one point Ed found himself staring at her as she threw her head back and cracked up at one of his dry humor comments. They didn't have much of a physical relationship...yet...but Ed sensed one was imminent. However, he had to admit he was enjoying this part-the part where Olivia Benson gradually became more and more comfortable with him, the part where she put her hand on his arm to steady herself when the laughter threw her off balance, the part where he knew, right before she got into her car, that she was going to let him kiss her.

"I'm right up here," she said, tilting her head in the direction of where she was parked.

"I'll walk ya."

The spot, nestled between two large SUVs on a quiet street, was probably simply luck of the draw, but Ed liked to think she'd chosen it on purpose. It gave him ample cover to lean in for a kiss with some degree of privacy. He pulled away, but Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. She smiled, kept her lips to his, and opened her mouth. Resisting the urge to devour her right there, Ed kissed back and successfully kept the smooch slow, romantic, and passionate enough to leave them both breathless.

Olivia swung their hands between them and they sheepishly stared at the ground for a few seconds before she broke the silence. "You and I…"

"...Think we might be able to make this work?"

She detected nervousness in Ed's question and the relief in his face when she replied in the affirmative made her smile. "I want it to," she said in her gentlest voice and squeezed his hands. "What do you think?"

"I think it sounds like we're both on board." Ed grinned and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Maybe dinner this weekend? Someplace...off the beaten path?"

"I'd love that."

"Guess it's a date then."

"It sure is."

…...

G looked and felt a little out of place at certain points during the evening. She arrived even later than Sonny and Olivia could tell she was sluggish and had probably had a grueling week. She gave the neighbor and sometimes babysitter a warm embrace and led her to the makeshift bar where she plucked the bottle of gin from the row and held it up for G's approval.

"Thanks," she said and added through a forced chuckle, "That looks like exactly what I need, and, probably, I'll be asleep after I have one."

Olivia laughed knowingly, "Been there."

"Hiya, G," Ed came over and gallantly took the bottle from Olivia, "Tonic or something else?"

"Tonic please."

Ed got to work mixing the drink in one of Sarah's fancy cocktail shakers shaped like a penguin. It was also one of the twins' favorite toys to play with when they visited, and the beak was dented. "Lime?" He asked after he poured the finished product into a tumbler.

"Please, and a lemon." G eyed the impressive garnish tray and smiled at the pool of syrup left by the maraschino cherries. There were ample piles of lemons, limes, oranges, olives, and pearl onions, so G assumed the cherries had been swiped by Noah and passed around to the twins and Sofia.

"There ya go."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Ed winked at her and went into the guest bedroom to check on the kids. The space had become a defacto playroom and the bed often functioned as a trampoline. Not wanting to ruin the little one's fun, he became the safety net.

Sarah joined G and Olivia right when G was explaining the reason for her exhaustion. She was in the early stages of planning for spring fundraising events at Noah's school and one other, and the workload was almost too much to bear. "I keep telling her she needs an assistant," Sarah said, "Needs to demand they hire her one, I mean, we could get Noey, but he does have school, but still. Actually, well, you could have mine. We're a little slow now but I'll need her back in a couple weeks."

"Even if I had five assistants I'd still be running around like a madwoman," G said, "If I don't have my hands on all these moving parts I don't feel like they're getting done the way they should."

"Completely understand that," Olivia said. "Sounds exactly like me. Hey. You work on contract right?"

"Yes."

"After this busy stretch is over for you, can we meet for coffee? I'd like to pick your brain about some fundraising for my Center. We're relying on a few generous donors now, but I'd love to increase the budget, hire more people, expand services."

"Sarah told me what you do there," G said, "I'd love to help out if I can, or, at least point you in the right direction."

"Great," Olivia offered a sympathetic smile, "But, only after you're done with what's going on now."

She sounded so motherly and so genuinely concerned for her well-being, G almost burst into tears. Instead, she managed another smile and took a long drink of her gin and tonic. Ed Tucker had made was strong and the liquor burned as it traveled down her throat.

"You're probably going to top a million for Noey's school this year," Sarah boasted. "Last year you were close. You need more bagel shots."

"Bagel shots?" Olivia asked.

"Omigod omigod, Livvie, you should have seen this thing. It was literally a picture of a bagel on a countertop and it went for like ten grand."

"Two," G corrected, "But still…"

"A bagel?" Olivia asked.

"Yes. A bagel. This year we have...something with a banana, oh, and this guy who drops clay from a ladder-"

"-Say what?" Sarah interjected.

"Yep," G pulled out her phone and showed them a brief clip of the artist in action. "Drops it and fires it."

"Wow," Olivia murmured, "I should snap some pictures of the twins destroying the apartment. They drop all kinds of things. We could make millions."

"For sure," G said. The liquor was hitting her and she was feeling more social. "Speaking of the twins, where are they? And Noah. I haven't seen them."

Without another word, Sarah called for the kids, and the four of them, Sofia included, came running.

"GEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"G, G, G, G!"

"It's GEEE! GEEE's HERE! You get a drink from da penguin?" Noah bounced from foot to foot in front of her.

"Yes. So good. But," G feigned consternation, "I wanted a cherry but there weren't any left."

Noah covered his mouth with his hand and giggled. "Oops."

"Not a problem."

"Yeah," Noah said, "Dere's a lotta other fruit."

"There is."

"But da cherries are da best."

G nodded. "I agree."

…..

Olivia stood at the mirror and primped for their final night out in Dublin. The Tucker family eschewed fancy clothes for their European vacation, but in her tight fitting jeans and kelly green blouse, Olivia Benson Tucker looked as dressed up as she'd ever been. Ed slowly stepped behind her, kissed the back of her neck, and breathed in the scent of her perfume. She didn't always wear a scent, but she'd found one she liked in a boutique on their travels and had worn it each night they'd gone out. It was floral, summery, and subtle, and it made Olivia so irresistible Ed warily eyed other men at the restaurants they visited.

"Mmmm," he droned into her neck. Their bedroom door was open and the kids' voices were audible from the small living room separating their spaces in the AirBnB. They were enthusiastically talking about their day and Noah, by far the most artistic of the three, was giving pointers on photo editing.

"What are you trying to do, Ed Tucker?"

"Be close to you."

"That's all?" Olivia applied lipstick and leaned back into him.

"For now," Ed kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around her waist. He wasn't as desperate to be alone with her as he'd been the whole trip because this location afforded them the most privacy of all their lodging arrangements. "I love you and I love being here with you. It's magic."

"It is." Olivia turned around in his arms and put her hands on either side of his face. "I almost don't want to go home. I love it here. The whole trip has been perfect, but this is so, so special."

"We'll come back."

"We will."

Ed stared into her eyes. "I'm serious."

"So am I."

"But let's not wait until we're eighty."

"We won't. How about...our twentieth anniversary?"

"Love it," Ed said, "You're gonna keep me around that long?"

Olivia kissed him on the lips. "Longer." She started to walk away, into the living room, but Ed pulled her back for a proper kiss. They were still in the liplock when Maggie came into the room.

"Oh GOD!"

"Yes?" Ed asked jokingly.

"We're hungry and you're KISSING!"

"Someday you'll appreciate the fact that your parents kiss."

Maggie groaned, "I do right now. But. Not. When. We're. HUNGRY!"

"Sorry."

"S'okay."

"Where are we eating?"

"I dunno, we can't decide."

"Then," Ed shot his daughter a smirk and then pressed his forehead to Olivia's, "We'll stay in here and kiss until you figure it out."

Maggie made a retching sound and ran out of the room. "You guys!" She shouted, "We gotta pick a place. NOW!"

Ed and Olivia shared a laugh. They kissed again and Ed took a step backward and offered her his arm. "Can I take you to dinner, Olivia Margaret Benson Tucker?"

She looped her arm through his and put her head on his shoulder. "Always."

…...

Ed made his usual rounds through the apartment. He took an extra few seconds to look at the twins, sound asleep in their beds, illuminated by the artificial and natural hues of the night sky, and then at Noah who was so cherubic he almost didn't seem real. The boy was posed as if he knew he were going to be photographed. He held Bernie under one arm and tucked the other under his head. He always slept facing the window like he'd fallen asleep thinking about all the adventures lying ahead. Ed kissed him and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. Noah Porter Benson Tucker knew he was loved, and Ed was sure he'd never seen a more content child.

"Kids are asleep," Ed reported once he was back in the master bedroom. He traded his polo shirt and jeans for boxers and an old gray t-shirt and slid into bed next to Olivia.

Having already left her reading glasses on the nightstand and closed her eyes, Olivia reached out for Ed and curled herself into him. The gesture wasn't enough to assuage Ed and she wasn't surprised when she heard his voice whisper her name.

"Liv."

"Hmm?"

"Liv, please wake up for a second."

There was obvious urgency in his voice and Olivia opened her eyes. She sat up enough to lean on her elbow. "What is it honey?" They had stayed at Sarah's later than planned and Noah's game was early the next morning, but it was clear whatever was nagging at Ed couldn't wait.

"Liv, I-"

"Ed," she cupped his face and kissed him on the lips. She noticed this expression early on in the night. Most of the time he was grinning and sociable, but Olivia saw the underlying sorrow, sadness, and regret. Now she recognized his need to know she wasn't holding any of the bungled Gary Wald case against him.

He shook his head. "Liv, I gotta know. Do you think less of me?"

"No," she said resolutely, "Not at all."

"How is that possible?" He stared into her eyes, "How is it possible for you, Olivia Benson, to take all of this in and move right on as if nothing happened?"

"It's not as if nothing happened. Because it did happen," Olivia said, "But, remember, I'm Olivia Benson Tucker. I'm on your side. I love you. I trust you. And, Ed, you made a mistake. But you're owning it-"

"-it cost a woman her life, her career-"

"-I can't say anything to fix that, to make it seem less tragic. But, Ed, I don't look at you now and see a cloud of failure."

"What do you see?"

"I see my husband. I see my loving, kind, amazing husband and our children's father who would do anything and everything for all of us. I see the man who makes sure I have a full glass of water by my bed every night even if I rarely drink it, the man who decided he'd rather give me everything I've ever wanted instead of wandering off into retirement, the man who checks the heat or the AC every single night and makes me feel so incredibly safe I can sleep through the night…"

"I only like you to wake up for one reason."

Olivia grinned. "I love you, Ed Tucker. I have loved you for a long, long time and I'm never going to stop."

"A long, long time?"

"It seems like a long time. I feel like my life restarted as soon as I let myself believe in us."

Ed had forgotten all about Cassidy until that second. He cupped her face and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said, "But I should go to the memorial service. I should pay my condolences in person."

"Florida?"

"His Mom said they'll do something here for the burial, but they're doing the actual funeral in Daytona. Soon. Most of his family is there now."

"I'll go with you...if you want."

"The kids?"

"We can-"

Olivia grabbed Ed by the shoulders and kissed him passionately. "Can we not decide this tonight?" She asked breathlessly, "I want you. I," she made sure to deepen her whisper into his ear, "I need you."

"Okay," He rasped into her neck, "Whatever you want. And Liv?"

"Hmm?"

"I need you, too."

….

#Tuckson