126.

Rearranging the flight schedule set Olivia at ease, but talking to the kids brought her the greatest sense of calm in the midst of the rapidly brewing storm. Sarah propped the phone on the table and sat the three kids in a row. Ed and Olivia listened as Noah raved about Justin's cooking, explained that they were staying up "jus' a lil' late" and that Sarah was good at helping him with his homework. When Olivia asked what the twins were doing all day, Noah shrugged and replied that they were probably playing with Justin. Maggie and Wyatt chimed in, and, in their toddler-speak, talked of swings, slides, finger painting, pizza, and ice cream. They also mentioned they took a nap in the beanbags with Pearl the lab. All three kids were cheerful, clean, and healthy. Toward the end of the conversation, Justin placed a bowl of berries in front of them and they each took a handful.

"Booberry, Mama!" Maggie gave Olivia a closeup before she shoved the fruit into her mouth.

"And some cheese and crackers," Justin said. He set a plate of neatly arranged slices of Muenster, Cheddar, and Triscuits.

Wyatt reached for two crackers and placed a slice of cheese in the middle. "Sa'wich!" He announced proudly.

"You're spoilin' them, Justin," Ed said.

Justin shot him a shy grin. It was true, but both Justin and Sarah got a great deal of satisfaction in taking superb care of the kids.

"It's what we do," Sarah replied. "And, now, we have to get this baby," she hoisted Sofia in the air, "To eat like we eat. She's picky, aren't you precious?" Sarah played with Sofia's fine blonde hair.

Ed and Olivia knew Brooke wasn't feeling well, but they weren't aware Sofia was spending another night away from her mother and father. They both raised their eyebrows and Sarah mouthed that they'd talk about those arrangements after Noah, Maggie, and Wyatt were otherwise occupied. The chance came when it came time for Pearl to be taken outside.

"Gotta go, Mommy an' Daddy," Noah said, "Pearl needs her walk before we eat dinner! Then she calms down an' doesn't try to get our food!"

"Love you, sweethearts!" Olivia blew them a kiss and they blew kisses back at her.

"Talk to you tomorrow morning and we'll be back late tomorrow night," Ed said, "Love you!"

Noah went off with Justin and the dog, and Maggie and Wyatt went back to their toys. Sarah took Noah's seat and rested her head in her hands. "How are you guys?"

"We're okay," Olivia said, "Glad to be coming home tomorrow. How is it there?"

"I stopped on the way home from work today and got a few things from the market. People seemed a little on edge, I mean, this is weird, but, for the most part, there's food in the stores, well, except, do you know the weirdest thing?"

"What's that?" Ed asked.

"They're buying all the toilet paper." Sarah laughed at the two confused expressions looking back at her, "No, you haven't missed anything. There is absolutely no reason for this, but, here we are. I did notice you have an ample supply, so I didn't buy any."

"So odd," Olivia said.

"I don't get it," Ed added.

"Seriously there were people with those rolling carts full. Anyway...Brookey is still not feeling well. The doctor keeps telling her she doesn't need to come in unless her fever is worse but I think that's so weird. Sonny's with her, but, in the meantime, I'm keeping Sof with us and Justin sanitized the whole apartment. I sent you the letter from Noey's school which, of course, he read, but I told him we just need to make sure we're washing hands and not touching faces so he seems okay."

Olivia smiled gratefully, "Thank you sweetie. Sounds like you have everything under control."

"We try."

"Yeah, thank you Sare," Ed said, "You and Justin. We always owe ya for watching the kids but now we do big time."

Sarah waved a hand in the air, "We love it. But, um, do you want us to keep Noey home from school? Some of the other parents are talking about it."

Ed looked at Olivia and waited for her to respond. "I think he should go," she said, "Harris asked for everyone to get ready for distance learning, so he should go until they close. Will you make sure he has hand sanitizer clipped on his backpack? I put some on there, but I know it falls off every once in a while."

"Got it."

"And, of course, if he's not feeling well…" Olivia's heart sank, "He hasn't had problems for a few years, but his lungs...and, God, Ed, Wyatt's?"

Ed put his arm around Olivia's shoulders and kissed the side of her head. "Maybe keep everyone inside as much as possible? For now? Until we get another update? News seems to be sayin' the same thing over and over again."

"Will do," Sarah replied, "Oh, and Dad, some guy came by for you. Left a note with the doorman."

"Who's that?"

"Hang on," Sarah went into the kitchen where she'd stuck the note on the cork board. "Gary someone?"

Olivia gasped.

"Sare," Ed said in a calm yet clearly serious, firm voice, "Do not let him into the apartment. Tell Jimmy downstairs and whoever else to call me if he shows up again."

"Okay," Sarah replied slowly, "Who is he?"

"An old partner of mine, from a long time ago, you wouldn't remember him."

"Wait a minute," Sarah said, "Yes I do! I know who he is! He's stopped by my office before...his company, it's a security firm? We do work for them! He came by a few days ago to introduce himself and said he knew you but I was busy and didn't think anything of it."

"Sare, it's not a big deal," Ed hated to lie to his daughter, but he needed her to remain calm and focused on the kids' well-being until he returned, "But I don't trust him, so, relay those messages to Jimmy and everyone else, alright?"

"Sure, but, is he dangerous?"

"No," Ed answered, "But I don't want to take any chances. Mention him to your security people at the office, too."

Sarah nodded. "Will do." She narrowed her eyes and started to ask another question, but restrained herself. All of a sudden, her Dad and her Livvie appeared weary. They didn't need any more questions. They said their goodbyes and she went off to play with the twins. As usual, they were in the middle of some imagined scenario, talking amongst themselves, but Maggie and Wyatt readily welcomed Sarah into their little world. Maggie handed her a torpedo but called it a "Saceship."

Sarah thanked her.

"You fy it," Maggie added. "Bas'OFF!"

"Thank you for the instructions, small sister. I had no idea." Sarah chuckled to herself. One day she was going to get the sarcasm thrown right back at her, and, truth be told, she couldn't wait.

…..

Ed left the bed much earlier than usual and Olivia groaned. Noah wouldn't be awake for at least an hour, and she wanted to spend most of that window cuddling and slowly waking up with her arms around Ed. In response to her reaction, he whispered that he had an early meeting and needed to prepare his notes, which were at the office.

Olivia lifted her head, "Ed Tucker unprepared?"

He threw up his hands, "Guilty."

"Why don't you," she glanced at her bathroom, "Take a shower here?"

A shy smile crossed Ed's face and he felt his cheeks burn. This was a first. A welcome first, but he was still nervous, which was ridiculous given the fact that their sex life wasn't exactly on pause. "I can do that," he replied casually as if he were agreeing to give her notes about a case.

Olivia followed him into the bathroom. She apologized for the walk-in shower's small space, but Ed didn't mind one bit. She ran her fingers through his hair as the water fell between them. Ed kissed her, rubbed her back with one hand, and gripped her hip with the other. Since he really was on a time constraint, Olivia grabbed the shampoo, washed his hair, and then lathered a washcloth and slowly attended to every inch of his body. When it was his turn to reciprocate, Ed crouched as he moved lower and refused to stand upright again until Olivia was crying out and sated in his arms. He grinned, let the water fall across his face, and kissed her again.

"Not a bad way to start the morning," he intoned, smirking proudly.

"God," Olivia sighed into his neck. "I'm going to be thinking about you all day."

Ed stroked her back with his fingertips, "Can't say I'm sorry to be the source of your distraction, Benson."

Olivia looked up at him and grinned. She could get used to this-nights and mornings with Ed Tucker. Later, she would admit to herself the balancing act of leading the squad, being a mother, and having a man in her life wasn't always going to be this easy. But, more than anything, she wanted to prove to herself she could make it happen, and, in the process, remind herself that she wasn't doing it all alone.

….

Sonny brought soup home for Brooke and watched her take her first, tentative bite, sitting on the bed, still wearing his suit and shoes. Her illness struck at the worst possible time for his trial schedule, but he made sure to come home as early as possible each day. He sent dozens of effusive thank you texts to Sarah and Justin until they finally, politely, told him they had been showered with more than enough gratitude. Sonny kept a log of Brooke's temperature readings and was satisfied at today's number-high, but not worsening.

"Half a degree less than yesterday," he announced, "Good work."

Brooke managed a laugh.

"You need anything else? It doesn't look like you're drinking a lot of water."

"I'm okay," Brooke said, "I'm waiting for the doctor to call me back. I really think I have this virus. And I feel terrible, you probably shouldn't be here, and you shouldn't be going to work...I heard today the worst part of it is that people without symptoms may never have symptoms and will infect others. This could spiral out of control. And fast."

"Well, I'm home now," Sonny got up and changed out of his suit and into jeans and a t-shirt. "Hopefully the doctor will call back this afternoon. In the meantime, we gotta finish Mrs. Maisel."

"Thank God for that show. What are we going to do when we're done with it?"

Sonny grinned, "When we're finished you'll be better, this virus will be eradicated, and we'll take another vacation."

Brooke smiled and tried to enjoy her soup. She didn't say what she wanted to say, which was that vacation was what brought them illness in the first place. No sooner had they returned from Hawaii that Sonny was ill and hospitalized. Now, here she was, alone with her husband but too sick to enjoy anything other than an Amazon Prime show and wondering when, if ever, things would fall into place for her.

…

With over two hours between the conclusion of the funeral and their flight back to New York, Ed and Olivia checked out of their room and found a spot at the hotel's beach bar. Olivia stretched out in the wicker chair and took a long drink of her bloody mary. Out of her dress and clad in shorts and a t-shirt, she appeared relieved that one hurdle had been surmounted. Now all she had to do was get back to her children. She and Ed had made sure to keep their distance from others and were careful about touching surfaces. They listened to the experts and to the President and while the number of cases was growing, there was clear guidance from the country's leaders as to how to navigate the impending crisis. As a result, Olivia was as relaxed and calm as she could possibly be, and she tried her best to soak up the final hours of beach time.

Ed, however, was concerned. Olivia had been quiet and stoical during the service. She didn't cry or reach for his hand or show any signs of grief. It was possible her mind was on the virus, on the kids, but, wherever she was mentally, he needed to check in.

"Service was nice," he said, "Lot of people with good words to say."

"Mmmhmm."

"Did his mother ask you to speak?"

"No. And I'm glad. I don't know what I would have said," Olivia looked at Ed from behind her sunglasses, "What would you have said?"

"About Brian?"

"Yeah." Olivia sounded a little annoyed with Ed's question and was more confrontational than normal.

"That he was a dedicated police officer and always tried to do the right thing."

"Tried…" Olivia murmured.

Ed jumped into what he really wanted to say, "Liv, uh, at the risk of starting an argument, uh, it's okay to mourn him. I know you don't need my permission to feel a certain way or react or not react…" Ed trailed off. He ran out of words to express himself and was digging a hole in which he had no desire to be trapped.

"Ed," Olivia leaned across the table on her elbows, "I am mourning him. I'm sad. It's tragic. My heart aches for his mother, his friends. But, you know what? I keep thinking of something Dr. Lindstrom said to me a while ago. It was about how unsettling it is when we leave things unsaid, how that's the source of regret. The last thing I said to Brian, well, I could have said it differently. But it was true, Ed."

"What'd you say?"

Olivia screwed up her face. "I never told you?"

"No."

"He congratulated me, about you, and I thanked him and said something to the effect of, being with you was the first time I felt like someone was truly in my corner. And that really was the issue with Brian and me-he was never going to be one-hundred percent there."

Ed nodded.

"So I feel like there's closure there. He may have loved me, and, yes, I loved him, but that was the issue. And I'm sure he understood, he knew it. And whatever made him that way, in our relationship, well, Ed, you know what? I can't blame myself. I can't be responsible for both of us." Olivia gazed at the ocean before turning back to Ed, "Do you know why Lindstrom even had to tell me that? About leaving things unsaid?"

"Why?"

"I saw him a lot after we broke up. And I was beating myself up. I thought I'd blown it with you."

Ed reached for her hands and kissed them both. "I love you, Liv."

"I love you, too."

He smirked and joked, "We may change our minds once we get into this whole isolation thing."

Smiling and lovingly rolling her eyes, Olivia replied, "Nope. Not gonna happen."

"I'm gonna hold ya to that."

"I wouldn't expect anything different."

…..

Bundled in a parka, hat, and gloves, Ed answered Rollins' questions on the rooftop terrace of his building via official NYPD Skype. New York City and the surrounding areas had emerged as an epicenter of the virus outbreak, and almost everyone was instructed to remain at home. The Mayor and Governor, concerned about workers' livelihoods, had stopped short of mandating the closure of restaurants and bars, but judging by some patrons' refusal to follow the new social distancing guidelines, Ed guessed it was a matter of days, maybe even hours, before those establishments were shuttered. The stay-at-home directive came the morning Ed and Olivia returned from Florida, so they had a narrow window to purchase urgently-needed items. Ed took Noah and Wyatt to Costco, and Olivia and Maggie hit the local markets and bodegas. Taking the President's and the Governor's orders seriously, they didn't over purchase, but once they were all reunited, Ed and Olivia agreed they had enough of everything to last at least two weeks. They also joked this was going to be the perfect time to potty train the twins; both Maggie and Wyatt seemed ready, yet the twins sans diapers was another bittersweet reminder they were no longer babies.

With basic necessities taken care of, Ed and Olivia were forced to face the major question marks in their lives-Brooke's health, the extent of Ed's involvement in the reopening of Gary Wald's case, and the lingering sadness from Brian's death. Even though Olivia insisted the funeral was enough to bring her closure, Ed doubted the assurance. He let it go for the time being, for as soon as they landed in New York he was summoned back into NYPD's orbit. Rollins received his summary and asked Ed to come into the precinct, but after the lawmakers' orders were given she agreed to meet remotely. Ed wanted to eliminate any chance of Noah overhearing, and with the building's indoor common areas off limits, he relegated himself to the roof.

After reading Ed's notes and examining the evidence collected by her own detectives, Rollins believed Ed had not acted criminally. She still came off as judgemental and a tad sanctimonious, but she was much less accusatory than the first time they met.

"And Rachel decided on her own not to pursue charges?" she asked, "After you walked her through what the process would be like?"

It was at least the fifth time Rollins had asked the same question. Allowing his exasperation to show, Ed replied, "She asked me what the process was. And even if she hadn't, I would have had to tell her. Do you hold things back when you're prepping a witness? Do you forget to mention to the vic they'll be cross examined? Their entire life will come under scrutiny?"

"When she chose not to pursue did you see that as an indication she was being dishonest?"

Ed sighed. "No. But if you wanna hear what I think you wanna hear, yeah, I got less interested. I believed my partner. Does that mean I didn't believe Rachel? Not exactly. But she walked away. And I didn't have any other allegations against him."

"And you had a bunch against her."

"I had evidence of extramarital affairs. And that brings us back to me being honest with her. Any first year law school student woulda been able to exonerate Gary." Ed leaned into the camera, "You and I both know that's reality, Rollins. It was then and, unfortunately, it'd probably be the same now."

"Would you say that to Liv?"

"I have said that to Liv," Ed snapped.

"You mean to tell me if this landed on your desk today you would have handled it exactly the same way?"

Ed pressed his lips in a straight line and glared at Rollins. All of this was bluff and bluster on her part, and he was playing along only because he truly wanted to be cooperative and do the right thing. He wanted Gary in jail if he was supposed to be there, but, even with Rachel's suicide, the pragmatic part of Ed Tucker knew that didn't necessarily mean Gary was guilty. "I hate to admit it, but I might have."

Rollins groaned.

Unwilling to explain his rationale to her again, Ed remained silent. They were at an impasse until Ed remembered the note tacked to their cork board. "You know, he came by. While we were gone."

"Who?"

"Gary."

"Why?"

"I don't know. He didn't get past the doorman. And I haven't called him back."

"Can you?"

"Of course," Ed stared up at the murky sky, "Rollins, I can't have this on my conscience."

"Well, we better hurry," Rollins said, "I hear they're going to completely shut down the city soon. You may want to give him a call back."

"Just tell me what ya need."

…..

While he waited for his parents to arrive, Noah took deep, controlled breaths. He'd gone to yoga a few times over the years, mostly with Sarah but also with Mia, and he wished he remembered some of the techniques they'd been taught. If he was this jittery to merely tell his mother and father he was planning on proposing to the love of his life, how was he possibly going to pull off an articulate, romantic speech while down on one knee?

Noah had already opened a bottle of wine and he pulled a cheese plate from the refrigerator and added it to his dining table. Since moving back to New York from Washington, D.C., he'd been slowly furnishing his East Village apartment and though space was limited, he was proud of his choice-a steel frame, mango-wood drop leaf with matching chairs. He decided they'd sit here, eat, and he'd make his big announcement. The spot felt more official than the well-worn yet dignified brown leather sofa in his living room.

Olivia and Ed complimented the new piece of furniture and raved about the food and drink. They sat down, took their first sips, and helped themselves to the food. "To what do we owe all this, sweetheart?" Olivia asked.

Noah grinned, "I can't invite my parents over for happy hour just because?"

"Ya can," Ed replied, spooning a hunk of Brie onto a cracker, "But it's unusual."

"It was kinda hard when I was in D.C.," Noah said, "To have you just pop in."

Olivia and Ed bumped shoulders and burst into laughter. Ed finished chewing and gave his wife a kiss on the lips. Confused but enchanted, Noah looked on. This was exactly what he wanted-a life like theirs, moments like these, decades from now, with his own son or daughter.

"Oh, sorry bud, uh, inside joke."

"I guess so. Want to share?"

Ed and Olivia looked at each other. "Mind if we keep this one?" She asked.

Noah assured them he understood. "Well, uh, I have something...there is a reason for the happy hour." Ed and Olivia waited, with eager faces, for him to continue. "I'm going to ask Mia to marry me," he reached behind him and produced a small box. "I picked up the ring yesterday."

Olivia shrieked. Ed wrapped an arm around Noah's neck and whispered an excited "congratulations." Mia had been a source of their son's greatest heartache but also his greatest joy. Her music and stage career had taken her all over the world, but she and Noah never lost touch. Each time they reunited, they recaptured and strengthened their bond and, distance aside, remained devoted to one another. Mia would probably always travel, but now that she had been based in New York for several months, Ed and Olivia were confident their son's heart no longer had the potential to be irreparably broken.

"So…" Olivia said excitedly after she'd given Noah a hug of her own, "When?"

"I dunno, soon, but, I have to...prepare."

Ed grinned. He would not have been surprised if Noah told them he had several drafts of the proposal. "Speak from the heart, pal."

"Did you?" Noah's eyes were wide and reminded both Ed and Olivia of the inquisitive, five-year-old version of himself.

Olivia laughed softly.

Assuming this was another private story, Noah stifled a groan and refrained from asking for elaboration.

"It was spontaneous," Ed explained. "I had the ring. But we were talking, kinda late one night. You'd, uh, it was my birthday and I picked you up from daycare. On the way out, you called me Daddy when you asked where we were going. It made me realize...it made me not want to waste any more time waiting for the three of us to be a family."

"I'm never going to beat that."

"Not a competition."

"Every couple has their own...their own special moments, their own milestones," Olivia added. "You'll figure it out honey. I know you will. And know that we're so, so thrilled for you and for Mia. For all of us, really."

"Thanks Mom."

Olivia smiled at him and backtracked on her earlier decision not to tell Noah about the office banter she and Ed shared all those years ago. "The pop in thing? Well, your Dad was waiting for me in my office, gosh, you were maybe, two, and we had been out a few times and knew we really liked each other, so I basically asked him what he was doing there so early inviting himself onto my couch and he looked at me and asked 'What? I can't just pop in?' And I told him no-"

"-but she meant yes, she was ecstatic I was there-"

Olivia patted Ed's leg. "-sure. Anyway, not the best story in the world, but, for us, it was special. Those are the best times, actually, those little blips, a few seconds, but in those seconds you know you're connected, you know you're," Olivia started tearing up, "Meant to be."

Noah nodded solemnly. He'd known Mia almost all his life, but he'd been searching for inspiration in the wrong memories. He'd been focusing on the birthdays and holidays, welcome home parties and post-performance celebrations, but now he knew, for the most meaningful proposal, he had to draw inspiration from the seemingly mundane moments of their lives.

….

One thing was certain. Olivia had to stop watching the news. After hearing more dire statistics about rates of infection among the elderly, she called Caroline. Well aware of her mother-in-law's independent nature, Olivia wanted to make sure Caroline was taking all the guidance seriously and, equally important, if she needed anything. John and Margie lived closer and were typically good at checking in on their mother, but people often acted differently in crisis. Olivia quickly learned she was correct to worry. Margie and John had been in contact but trying to get their college-aged children home and Caroline was going about her daily routines as she normally did.

"Caroline!" Olivia couldn't remember ever admonishing Ed's mother, but she was close to doing just that, "You've got to be more careful. Stay home. We'll bring you anything you need."

"Oh, Olivia, I have the packet of wipes in my bag. I've lived through pandemic, epidemic, famine and I've lived. This too shall pass."

Caroline hinting she'd lived during the Irish Potato Famine made Olivia chuckle and lifted her spirits. Nevertheless, Olivia insisted she follow the new rules. "Three to six feet away from other people. No unnecessary errands."

"Yes, yes," Caroline said, "And no big gatherings. They're doing mass Sunday on the internet. Can you or Eddie help me with that?"

"Of course."

"And I suppose I cannot see my grandbabies."

"Caroline," Olivia was now in agony, "I don't think that's a good idea. Ed and I, we've traveled, I don't know if we carried something back. We're already monitoring ourselves and the kids like crazy. I don't want to risk anything."

"Dearie, I understand."

"But let's Face Time."

"Yes! And I need to do that with Brookey and my Sof, too. Where is she?"

"With Sarah and Justin. We decided that was best, better than sending her to Staten Island."

"Smart," Caroline said, "Makes you wonder if Sonny had this Corona thing when he was sick. From what I see on the news it seems like this may have been around here for a while."

Olivia shivered. Caroline's assessment wasn't a novel idea, but the idea of a silent killer virus being passed back and forth in one of the most densely populated cities in the world was frightening. "I think they tested him for the flu...and it was the flu? At any rate, Brooke called the doctor and they said only to come in if she got worse. They don't want to test her and since she's not having breathing trouble, it might not be this."

"Let's hope not."

"Okay, well, I'm going to get dinner going for the kids," Olivia chuckled softly, "They've been eating like royalty with Justin, so hopefully they'll revert back to regular old parent food."

"You tell them I'm making cookies and they get none of them unless they eat."

"They'll know that's not true, but I will," Olivia replied, "So, we'll talk tomorrow, but, Caroline, please stay home."

"I have a meeting tonight with my card group and then I will."

"Three feet away from people. Especially if they're coughing."

"Honey, we're all former smokers, we all cough."

Olivia managed a laugh but her heart sank. All this worrying she'd been doing about Noah, about Wyatt, about Brooke and how her extended family was going to function in this strange new reality, and she'd forgotten about Ed and his lungs, which he insisted were fine but had possibly been weakened by the cancer scare all those years ago. She pictured him up on the roof, shivering, frustrated, and feeling guilty and wrote him a text immediately after ending the call with Caroline.

It was time for him to be inside where it was safe.

With her.

….

#Tuckson