130.

"Bye Ma."

Ed tossed his phone at the armchair and heaved himself onto the bed. Olivia held her novel with one hand and scratched his head with the other. Ed groaned and leaned into her touch. Frustrated with his mother and, to a certain extent, with Sonny, he was feeling extra needy on this night.

"Good book?" He asked.

"Yes," Olivia replied, "It's about a therapist...who ends up in therapy. It's good."

"Funny?"

"Yes. But also...real and relatable."

"I thought the chapter in your book about therapy was an eye-opener. You let your guard down in the whole book, but I was surprised how transparent you were in that part." Ed closed his eyes. Olivia was now massaging his temples and it was one of the most relaxing sensations in the world. She tugged a little on his hair which was going to need to be cut one way or another sometime soon.

"I suppose I was surprised at myself," Olivia replied thoughtfully. "And this author is sort of doing the same thing, only, it's unfolding over the course of her entire book. You don't think of the therapist actually needing someone to help them work through their challenges...it's interesting."

"Make you see Lindstrom in a different light?"

"A little. Well, I guess it makes me curious. It's odd-as much as he knows about me I know very little about him. But, that's his job. And, I don't think it'd be a good thing if I knew too much."

"You haven't seen him in a while," Ed murmured.

"No, I haven't. And, that's a good thing. I don't fight going when I need to." Olivia suspected Ed's questions were a delay tactic, so she not-so-gracefully shifted the topic of discussion from her to him. "How's your mom doing?"

Another groan. Ed's chest rose and fell and the gray cotton t-shirt, trapped between his body and the mattress, strained against his torso. "I swear, Liv, it's like she's a goddamn teenager," he went on, imitating her voice, "I needed this. I needed that. The last time I went to the market they were out of flour. I can't let Benny go out of business."

"Benny?"

"The guy who runs the bar near her. She's been cooking like crazy but also gettin' take out from there so she can have a drink while she waits...under the guise of helping him not have to shut down. I bet she has a fridge full of half-eaten sandwiches."

"Oh, I remember him," Olivia smiled, "Nice guy."

"How do you know him?"

"We stopped there once," Olivia paused to recall exactly when, "After shopping, I think, it must have been Christmas. I liked it, there was such a neighborhood feel. I'm surprised you've never taken me there," she teased.

"I'll take you everywhere you wanna go when this is over," Ed mumbled.

Olivia could hear the misery in his voice. Poor guy, she thought, his mother, his daughter, his former partner, everything is out of his control and it must be killing him inside. She turned so she could drape an arm across his body and kissed along his cheekbones and jaw. "I know you will," she whispered and kissed him on the lips. "Where's the first place we're going to go?"

Ed smiled. "The two of us or all of us?"

"Both."

"Well," Ed sat up a little and leaned on his elbow. "I wanna take you, depending on the weather, either to that place on Staten Island we went to a long time ago or to Pete's, you know, on Irving Place?"

"I loved that restaurant on Staten Island," Olivia said, "But I also hope it's not spring before we're able to get back to some semblance of normal."

"I know."

"So let's plan on Pete's. We've had good times there."

"You got it."

"And for all of us?"

Ed chuckled, "I really wanna be in my Mom's backyard, with her alive, and all of us hanging out but I can see how we'd all want to go somewhere. I hope we're still gonna be able to go to Ireland in the spring. Get to the beach this summer…"

"Honey."

In seconds, they'd switched roles. Ed had been the confident, reassuring one since the virus commandeered everyone's lives. Now it was her turn. In a few sentences, he'd revealed so much to her. His mother's refusal to take the virus seriously terrified him. Of course, it would be disheartening to miss out on vacations, but those could be taken at other times. Olivia sensed Ed was struggling and fearful of his own mortality. The specter of death seemed to be everywhere, and he was just as scared as she was.

"Did you tell your mother how important it was to you that she stay home? How important it is to me? The kids?"

"No," Ed grumbled, "I just told her she was bein' irresponsible. Maybe...your angle is a better idea. I'll have the kids call her tomorrow morning."

"Bring out the heavy artillery."

"Exactly." He kissed at her arm. "I wanna go to Ireland with you and Noah. I want everyone at the house…"

"I want all of that too. We just have to hope and trust that everyone will do what they're supposed to do, that this thing doesn't get even more out of control. But, Ed, I think we got lucky, to start these-" Olivia paused to think of the word that had been used by all the medical experts, "-mitigation efforts early. It'll get us to the end sooner. And, while we're waiting for the end, I'm so thankful we're all here together but, most of all, that I have you." Olivia stared into his eyes for emphasis. "If we have to be scared, I prefer for us to be scared together."

"Me too." He closed his eyes and waited for her kiss.

She tenderly pressed her lips to his and lifted her head until his eyes opened again. "I love you, Ed."

"I love you," he glanced in the narrow space between them where the book was now wedged, "You gonna, uh, still read a little?"

Olivia carefully marked her place in the book and set it on her nightstand. "No. I think I've had enough reading for tonight."

…

Maggie gripped Olivia's wrist and burrowed her head into her chest. "Mommy, I'm scared."

Olivia rocked Maggie and smiled at Ed. The hurricane was skirting the Atlantic coast, but had significantly weakened into Category I status. Out of extreme caution the Tuckers shuttered all remaining windows and were hunkered down in the living room as the wind howled outside. Wyatt and Noah spent the entire morning rigging a video camera on the back porch and set it up so it wirelessly communicated with their iPads. They were glued to the screens. From what Olivia could see, the storm sounded much worse than it actually was, but, then again, it wasn't over.

"Sweet girl," Olivia spoke in a hushed, soothing voice, "We're safe. Take deep breaths. It's okay."

Maggie did as she was told and her shoulders rose and fell three times in extremely dramatic fashion.

"What if our house blows away?"

"It's not going to blow away, honey," Olivia said, "When we bought the house we made the people who owned it before promise it was sturdy. When they build houses by the ocean like this, there are laws that the builders have to follow to make sure the houses are strong. And when we bought this house we made sure those laws were followed."

"Cause you were a police officer?" Maggie looked up at her with curious, wide blue eyes.

"Yes. And because we have three precious kids we love so much and want to keep safe."

Thunder boomed. Noah and Wyatt excitedly pointed to their screens. "Look!" Wyatt said, "Lookit the clouds!"

"That lightning was so cool!" Noah added.

Ed, too, was intrigued. He sat between the boys and locked in on their screens. Soon, Maggie's desire to be included in the excitement overtook her fear of the storm's potentially destructive power. She climbed out of Olivia's lab and wedged herself next to Noah.

"You wanna watch, Mom?" Wyatt asked, noticing his mother was now sitting by herself on the loveseat.

"Sure," Olivia sat opposite Maggie, on the end of the couch, and put her arm around Wyatt. Her fingers rested on the back of Ed's neck and she gently scratched his ruddy skin. He winked in response. Outside, the wind whipped the sea grass and the trees bent at dangerous angles, threatening to snap. The water was much closer to the house, but still comfortably far from the house.

"I wish we had two or three cameras," Noah said, "So we could see to the right and left."

"We could go out and move it," Wyatt said.

"No," Olivia snapped. "We're not going out."

A sheepish grin formed on Wyatt's face. He should've known better.

"How 'bout some popcorn?" Ed suggested.

"Yes!" Maggie exclaimed. "I want choc'lit chips in mine."

"You got it."

"Need any help?" Olivia asked.

Ed didn't, but he said yes anyway and held out his hands to help Olivia to her feet. She exaggerated being propelled into his arms and, taking advantage of the close proximity, kissed his cheek. The kids either didn't notice or took the affection in stride. The parents wandered over to the kitchen and prepared popcorn on the stove, the old-fashioned way. While the skillet heated, Ed opened two beers and stuck orange wedges on the rims of the glasses. He and Olivia kissed again before taking their first sips.

"You alright?" He held her by the hips and stared intently into her eyes.

"I'm actually really okay," she said, "I'm not worried."

"Good."

Thunder crashed again and the kids shrieked at an extremely bright bolt of lightning they saw on the screens.

"Still not worried," Olivia said. "I didn't know if the camera out there was a great idea, but it seems to be working out just fine."

"We better stay awake," Ed said, "Wyatt'll be out there adjusting the camera angle."

Olivia laughed, but she knew there were shreds of truth in Ed's statement. "We'll stay down here until it passes."

"Few more hours," he gave her a quick kiss and turned the kernels in the pan, "This time tomorrow it'll all be over." Olivia nearly knocked Ed off balance with a kiss. He stepped back from the stove and grinned. "What was that for?"

It was for a lot of reasons. Ed was irresistibly attractive in a crisis-calm, controlled, resolute and, most of all, confident his family was safe. He was also suntanned and his gorgeous blue eyes were extra prominent. Finally, he was, and always had been, a man with purpose. And, his purpose at that moment was to make the best hurricane-shelter popcorn on the east coast. He swirled the corn in the pan and raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer.

"There are a million reasons," she said, "But, in a nutshell, I'm madly in love with you, Ed Tucker."

"Well, that's good news then, sweetheart," he kept his eyes trained on the rapidly popping corn, "Because I'm madly in love with you, too."

….

Naptime for the twins had come to signal the end of Noah's "school" day. The work his teacher assigned was not very time consuming and was designed in a way that made it easy for kids to navigate on their own as a favor to parents unable to keep a constant eye on their children during the day. Even though Olivia kept in touch with the Center's staff and was attempting to begin a second book, both she and Ed had plenty of time to help Noah with his assignments; however, even on his own, he typically finished by mid-morning. Before lunch he spent an hour reading a book of his choosing, and he often went back to the stories after eating. He was on his way to his room to grab the Boxcar Children title he was currently reading when he realized Ed was on his tail.

"Hi Daddy," Noah said, "Wanna read with me?"

"Well, bud, yeah, I do, but, we gotta do somethin' and Mommy can't know."

Noah's eyes sparkled. "What?"

"It's Valentine's Day tomorrow," Ed half-whispered, "So we gotta make Mommy some cards."

This was no problem for Noah. He went to his closet and produced a fistful of construction paper and two pouches containing regular and colored pencils and markers. After spreading the supplies on his carpeted floor, he plucked three pages of construction paper and folded them in half on his desk. "You gonna make one, Daddy?"

"I think I will, bud," Ed replied, knowing Olivia would love the fact he chose not to make an unnecessary trip to purchase a pre-printed card.

Noah selected and folded another piece of paper and handed it to his Daddy. "Dere ya go," he warily glanced toward the door, "We gonna make these now?"

"I think you should make yours, pal. And save these for me and Maggs and Wyatt for later. I'll distract Mommy and you can make your card now. I'll tell her you're reading."

"But dat's a lie!"

"It's not the truth, but...well, sometimes, pal, when you wanna surprise someone you love a lot you gotta lie a little. It's okay, because you're doin' the surprise because it's gonna make them happy. The lie's not gonna hurt Mommy."

"Okay," Noah replied warily, drawing out the last syllable. He didn't spend much time debating the ethics of the situation and was already working when Ed left to "distract" his wife. Valentine's Day was definitely not going to be as spontaneous or elaborate as he would have liked, but the handmade cards would provide a worthy substitute for the complete Ed Tucker romance package.

In the living room, Olivia had planted herself on the couch and was reading her novel. Ed selected a book of his own, snagged a pair of reaing glasses, and sat in the armchair. Olivia peered at him over her own glasses and frowned. "Why are you over there?"

Ed was nonchalant. "You look comfortable." He went back to his book though he felt Olivia's eyes still on him.

"There's room here," she said after a minute or two had passed.

"You want me to come over there?"

"Yes," Olivia sat up and adjusted her position so Ed could sit on the chaise end. She adjusted a throw pillow against him and resettled herself. "Thank you," she said when she was finished, "Much better."

"Happy to help."

They each read their respective books in the quiet, which lasted a while. Sitting together like this was mutually comforting and peaceful. Rarely did Ed and Olivia have an hour or two to just be in the middle of the day like this. Outside, the chilly February day was cloudless and bright, and the natural light hit their pages perfectly. The weight of Olivia's head on his thigh tempted Ed to kiss her or otherwise offer some type of flirtatious gesture, but, the mood wasn't quite right for that type of intimacy. In fact, a kiss or a touch could have, oddly enough, ruined the moment. He concentrated on the words before him as did Olivia. It wasn't until they heard the twins' sweet chatter that their time of solitude ended.

"I love how they won't come out of their beds until we get them," Olivia said, sitting up. "Where's Noah?"

Ed dog-eared a page, "He was workin' on somethin' but maybe he fell asleep. I'll go check." He watched Olivia creep into the twins' room and greet them with a cooed hello. His heart skipped a beat. They both loved their children to death but there was something in Olivia's voice, a tone so raw and purely affectionate- each time he heard it he fell in love with her all over again. His wife was meant to be a mother and he cherished witnessing her in action.

…..

Lucy stopped by in the morning to take Noah to day care. From the bedroom, Ed listened to Olivia give the babysitter a few instructions and then say a sweet goodbye to her son. Ed clasped his hands behind his head and smiled at the ceiling. So few people saw the domestic side of Olivia Benson. He was lucky to get to witness it, even if he was stashed in her room. She returned with two cups of coffee and set his mug on the nightstand.

"Thank you," he said in his raspy morning voice.

"You're welcome," she stood over him, smiling, "Are you going to get up or…"

"I'll leave when you leave."

"Not in a hurry?"

"Not really."

Careful not to spill her coffee, Olivia leaned down and gave Ed a soft kiss on the lips. She winked at him and went to the bathroom to finish getting ready. Ed watched her towel dry her hair. Something about the way her body contorted and how she whipped her neck around ignited arousal within him. He tossed the covers aside and hoped she wouldn't mind what he was about to do.

"You have a couple extra minutes?" He whispered into her ear.

"What do you have in mind?"

In one motion, he lifted her onto the vanity and bunched up the long t-shirt she always wore in the mornings. He kissed her abdomen and slid her panties off. She moaned and he felt her hands, insistent, on the back of his head, but he asked anyway. "You want me to stop?"

"No," Olivia gasped. "Don't stop."

When he was finished, Ed buried his face in her neck and sucked at her skin. She held him close and murmured, "How am I supposed to concentrate on anything today?"

"I am so, so sorry Lieutenant."

"The last thing you need to be right now is sorry."

Ed pressed his forehead to hers. "I love you. I'm gonna get in the shower."

"Okay."

Less than an hour later, they left the building and walked together to where Ed's car was parked. He opened the passenger door for her. She grinned and thanked him. When he entered the car, she leaned over the console and gave him a kiss. "I'm glad you picked me up last night," she said softly.

"I'm glad you didn't tell me to go to hell," he quipped with a smirk. He checked the rear view mirror and merged onto the avenue. Last night, he'd pulled one of his riskiest moves yet. Olivia was hyperfocused on a case but not getting anywhere with the evidence they had. Years of experience told Ed that she was beating her head against the wall for nothing. He called this to Olivia's attention and then informed her he was on his way to her office to bring her home. Leaving her no chance to object, he hung up. Ten minutes later he was parked outside of the precinct and sent her an "I'm here" text. To his utter shock, she emerged from the building with a smile on her face.

"I must admit," Olivia said, "I was a little taken aback when you hung up. But," she put her hand on his forearm, "You were right. I needed to get out of there."

"I won't make it a habit. I promise."

Unable to stop smiling, Olivia turned her head and watched him in profile as he navigated through the thickening traffic using one hand. Olivia was still holding his right arm. "I don't think you will," she said, "I trust you to, uh, know there's a time and place for everything. And, even if I was annoyed or upset, this morning…"

Ed broke into a shy grin and his entire face blazed red.

Olivia squeezed his arm, "You're forgiven."

A block from the precinct, Ed slowed the car and crept along seemingly searching for an inconspicuous place to drop her off.

"Just drop me at the doors up here," Olivia gestured to the back entrance she and the other officers used.

"You sure?"

"Yes." Olivia assumed his disappointed expression was due to him assuming their goodbye would be without physical affection. So, he was visibly shocked when Olivia whispered a seductive "bye" and kissed him on the lips before exiting the car. She grinned at him through the window and offered a little wave.

Ed pinched the corners of his mouth, smirked, and didn't drive away until the precinct door closed behind her.

….

Noah set up Olivia's laptop at the end of the table so everyone had a view of him, the twins, and Ed and Olivia. After several text messages, everyone agreed to have some form of taco night, and Noah was excited to serve as virtual host. He dunked tortilla chips into bowls of queso, guacamole, and salsa and chatted with everyone, including Brooke, who was feeling much better. Her fever had subsided and the countdown to Sofia coming back home was on.

"Gramma, what you have in your tacos?" Noah asked, cocking his head to the left.

"Short rib," Caroline held up her concoction, "Your Daddy said I couldn't go out anymore, so I made my own tortillas and used leftovers in the tacos. There's a little potato in there."

"P'tato?"

"Yep!"

"That's fusion, Noey," Sarah said. "A Grandma fusion taco."

"I like fusion," Noah said matter-of-factly, "We had it before, right, Sare Bear?"

"Righty-o!"

"Caroline," Olivia said, "You made your own tortillas?"

"Sure," Caroline replied, "I got on the Google and there was nothing to it! Where did you order from?"

"Dorado," Sarah said.

"We made ours," Sonny said.

"So did we," Ed added proudly. He gestured to the twins and Noah who were devouring their portions, "I even did the rice myself."

"You like your Daddy's cooking, darlings?" Caroline asked.

Maggie grinned and revealed a taco-filled mouth. Wyatt scooped a pile of rice onto his spoon and held it up for everyone to see. The rice dropped back onto his plate, but, undaunted, he gathered an even larger portion and took a huge bite. Noah showed off a cross-section of his taco. "Got lotsa cheese in there," he said with a giggle, "And sort of spicy sauce. Hey! Is Pearl eatin' tacos too?"

"No," Justin said, "Dog food only."

"I'd give her a taco," Caroline said.

"Not good for my baby," Sarah countered.

"Speaking of babies," Brooke said, "Is Sof asleep I'm assuming?"

"Yes she is!" Sarah carried her phone to the guest bedroom where Sofia's crib was set up, "See? She whispered, "Seven-thirty bedtime just like you told us!"

Wincing playfully, Olivia glanced at the twins. Her two-year-olds were getting to stay awake later than usual. After the seven o'clock cheers, they were wound up and hyper, and it took thirty minutes to get everyone settled again. Sometimes a late lunch also meant a late dinner which pushed back their nightly routine. Olivia hoped nobody was judging her for not having Maggie and Wyatt in bed at this semi-late hour.

Her worry quickly faded. Noah and the twins ate and the adults gradually took over the conversation. Justin was getting a ton of writing done. The research he had done over the past year was now coalescing into something he and his team could publish.

"Remind me what you're doing again?" Caroline asked.

"It's, uh, technically called urban anthropology," he said, "We're studying pockets of cities where there's been significant investment in childcare, job training, and subsidized housing-to see the effects on the achievement and income gaps." Justin quickly went back to his food. In passing, Sarah had mentioned to Olivia that he was intensely worried about the families he'd grown close to during the study. Despite having an elaborate support system, they mostly worked in "essential" jobs and lived in close proximity to one another. Many also had underlying health conditions. Whenever he told people about his work, they always reacted favorably and with the assumption that he was working instant miracles. Undoing decades, if not centuries of the poverty cycle didn't work that way, but Justin never mentioned that in casual conversation. It was too heavy, and most people didn't want heavy.

"You are a goddamn saint," Caroline said.

Everyone, the virtual attendees included, cast their eyes on Wyatt, expecting him to echo his grandmother's profanity. However, after several seconds passed, they were apparently in the clear. The little boy was hyperfocused on eating.

Sarah talked at length about her daily Zoom meetings and how Sofia often appeared in them. She and Justin seemed to be handling the quarantine balance well. While she worked, he looked after Sofia and vice versa. The arrangement was working for them, but there was no doubt that they would be ready for a return to normal.

A topic which Brooke brought up. "I heard today they're thinking about gradually letting people go back to work by the end of March," she said. "Do you think that's realistic?" Brooke lifted her head so her entire face was in front of the camera. She was without makeup and her hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail. She usually kept her hair short but had obviously not had time or a place for a cut. Her skin, however, had a healthy, pink hue to it and she appeared as close to normal as Ed and Olivia had seen in a while. Her eyes fell when Ed blurted out his honest opinion.

"Nope," he said with an authoritative air of finality. "Not enough time. Give it until April."

"Shit." Sarah muttered.

More looks at Wyatt. He was poking his fork at Noah's plate and paying little attention to anything else.

"Well, we're still going to Ireland, Noah," Caroline shouted.

Worry crossed Noah's face. Ed glared at Caroline and comforted his son. "Bud, we're goin' in June. June's a long time from now. As long as everyone stays home," he added pointedly, "We're gonna be good."

Caroline shot Ed a sheepish grin, conceding his point. "Anyone having a margarita?" She asked.

"We are!" Sarah said in a sing-songy voice.

Caroline didn't wait for anyone else to respond. She raised her glass, full of gin and tonic, and toasted her family with an abbreviated Irish blessing, "I love you all! May joy and peace surround you! Cheers!"

"Cheers, Gramma!" Noah shouted.

Wyatt and Maggie shouted "Cheers!" and the rest of the adults followed suit. Olivia drank while fighting back happy tears. In that moment, though apart, everyone was smiling, happy, and momentarily forgot they were in the middle of a crisis that was threatening to irreparably change their lives. When she thought of the future, she saw so many question marks, but, with her family, there was very little uncertainty. They would continue to stay the course, follow guidelines, and find ways around inconveniences. And they would do it, always, relying on the strength of one another.

…..

#Tuckson