143.

Pearl yelped and jumped on Sarah and the dog appeared bewildered that her human paid her very little attention. Sarah stomped into the guest room and stood in front of Justin, arms waving everywhere, and, in one breath, expressed her vehement disapproval of her sister's comments. Justin pushed his laptop aside, swiveled in his chair, and concentrated so that he could make some level-headed sense of what his wife was saying. He was used to breaking down a convoluted rant, distilling its essence, and offering advice. During the diatribe, he also gauged how much she'd had to drink and whether or not it would be best if he functioned as a sounding board until she sobered up.

"Ouch," Justin said when she stopped talking. "That sounds bad."

"It was fucking so out of line," Sarah muttered, "My Dad even left. Like, didn't say anything and got out of there."

"Is it possible," Justin replied slowly, "That it sounds bad but it might not be that huge? I mean, Noah's story isn't a secret."

Indignant, Sarah replied through gnashed teeth, "But Brooke's the only one who constantly keeps bringing up the possibility that he could be damaged in some way. Like, seriously? Damaged? Gawwwd, Noey's probably the least damaged of all of us!"

"I guess I don't get how she got to his history from him saying something at school about being worried."

"Everything to her is about his history," Sarah said. "He's mad? Uh-oh, he's showing signs of being a murderer. He's sad? Uh-oh, he's depressed because his biological mother died...Noey is a normal kid, he's super smart, he cares about people, he cares so much he didn't want to upset his parents-that's the real issue here. Not his history."

"And that's for your Dad and Liv to deal with, right?"

"I guess," Sarah's shoulders slumped and she let herself fall onto the bed, "But Livvie is going to be so hurt, so shocked that Brooke has some, what? Fears? Yeah, she's afraid of him, afraid of what he might become."

Justin wasn't sure he agreed. "Maybe she's afraid that Noah already has some unanswered questions about his biological parents that he's not bringing up?"

"If she is, she's giving a seven-year-old way too much credit."

"You just said he's super smart."

"But he doesn't know everything," Sarah protested, "He's not a fucking psychic. Hell, a crime writer would have trouble making it up. How can he have questions about something he's never been told about? I hope Livvie never tells him."

"She's gonna have to," Justin said plainly. "Someday."

"Yeah," Sarah sighed and covered her face with a pillow, "He's eventually going to want to know." She yawned and, struggling for air, tossed the pillow aside. "I need a nap."

"I'll go work in the other room."

"No," Sarah said, "I like the sound of typing. It's relaxing."

Justin laughed and turned back to his computer, shaking his head. I like the sound of typing. His wife sure was something else.

….

Needing to walk to clear his head, Ed bypassed two subway stations and sauntered up Avenue A, passing St. Mark's Place and Tompkins Square Park. It had been a while since he'd been in the neighborhood. Formerly edgy, even sketchy, aside from a few graffitied storefronts, it now fit right in among the gentrified pockets of the city. The sounds of children's voices coming from the park's playground made him miss the kids, but he couldn't go home yet, not before fully processing what had transpired in the bar. He didn't want to go home and give Olivia a jumbled, rambling recap. There was a Starbucks on every corner, but Ed found a small, local cafe, bought a coffee, and continued north. At 14th Street he turned west, skirted the sprawling StuyTown complex, and ended up at a park with the same namesake.

In the heat of the moment, leaving Hair of the Dog seemed like the wisest move. He knew Brooke wasn't intentionally trying to offend anyone or be malicious, but he also knew Sarah would lash out at her. At times, Sarah was the most protective of Noah, and alcohol heightened her emotions. Ed didn't want to stick around and referee their argument, but he was second guessing himself. Maybe he should have stayed. He pictured Sarah firing off a verbal attack and Brooke sitting there, expressionless, confused, and in no shape to formulate a counterattack. No, it was better to leave. He would have had to tell Sarah to calm down. It would look like he was taking Brooke's side, which would have further incensed Sarah. Besides, he was taken aback by what Brooke said.

"Given his history…"

Nothing else she said rankled him as much as those three words. He was trained to read between the lines, he'd done it all the time at IAB, and while what Brooke said didn't rise to the reprehensible level of a cop betraying the public trust, she did seem to be harboring some disturbing concerns about Noah.

"Given his history…"

Evidently, Brooke had been worried about Noah for a long time, presumably since she and Sarah learned the truth about his biological father. This wasn't a point of concern someone, especially not his savvy daughter, would randomly throw out there for the sake of conversation. In fact, she'd done exactly the opposite and not mentioned it until now for the sake of keeping the peace and saving face.

"Given his history…"

Ed wished he had the option of keeping this from Olivia, but the relationship between Brooke and Sarah would undoubtedly be icy for a while and she would notice. The coffee had cooled enough for him to take a regular sip and he swished the liquid around in his mouth before swallowing. Tough questions about Noah's early life were not uncommon, but they rattled her. Olivia's initial reaction was always dire, as if acknowledging and explaining the truth had destructive powers. However, after they talked things out and determined the best way forward, her self-assurance returned. This time, though, the origin of the uncertainty was not a curious little boy or a prying stranger-it was their beloved Brooke, and Ed couldn't predict how Olivia would react. Would she view "Given his history" as a logical point or a betrayal?

Ed sat back, crossed his legs, and studied the architecture of St. George's Church looming over the area. Also looming was a reflective mood which he didn't fight. His memory went into overdrive and flashes of his life played as if they were presented on one of the carousel projectors he remembered from his school days. There was his first wedding, he and Angela baby-faced and filled with optimism before the pressures of two fledgling careers and a baby entered their lives. Next came Brooke and Sarah as toddlers and then as elementary schoolers-that period of time was a blur-ironically, the divorce took the girls away from his home, but the split compelled him to be more present. When he spent time with his daughters, he didn't allow for any distractions. The rule became more difficult to impose on Brooke and Sarah as they entered teenagehood, but he tried and the girls ended up being okay. Parents made so many mistakes, he and Angela certainly had, but they'd managed to raise two intelligent, successful, resilient daughters.

Olivia.

Admittedly, it had taken some work and battles with self-doubt to get where they were today, but it was all worth it. Once she felt safe to do so, she loved Ed back with the ferocity and dedication with which he loved her. All the early hurdles and steps backward were worth what they had now-they'd been worth it back then. Ed remembered the look on Olivia's face after their first kiss, how she bit her bottom lip, both smitten and shocked, and how her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkled. In that moment he finally learned the difference between loving and being in love.

Olivia.

Shit. He'd promised he wouldn't belong. He had groceries to buy. And he'd completely neglected to check his phone since shoving it in his pocket at the bar. There were three messages from Olivia, one included a photo of the three kids on their scooters and he zoomed in on their smiles. Wisps of hair flipped out from under their helmets. Ed's heart filled with warmth and affection and he couldn't wait to hug and kiss them. What was he doing here in the park entertaining himself with texts and photographs and memories when all he had to do was go home or meet them wherever they were?

He called Olivia.

"Hey." She answered breathlessly, sounding relieved to hear from him.

She was wondering about his whereabouts. She missed him.

"Still out on the scooters?" He asked.

"Yes. They're addicted."

"Need a couple of extra hands?"

"Are they yours?"

Goddamn, she was flirting with him and, even over the phone, the seductive undertones rendered him weak-kneed and a little nervous.

"Yeah," he croaked, "They're mine."

"Come on then, Captain."

"Can I bring ya anything?"

"Just you."

…..

Weekday visits from her son were rare and a weekday visit coupled with a bottle of liquor was almost unheard of, so Caroline assumed Ed was the bearer of either very good or very bad news. She didn't beat around the bush. After filling two glasses with ice, she sat with him at the dining room table, and, before taking a sip, asked, "What is it, Eddie?"

Ed twisted the cap and tossed the remnants of the heavy seal aside. He poured and took a sip without offering a toast. Caroline frowned. "Sorry," he muttered and tapped her glass with his.

"You know better," Caroline replied, "Now, what is it?"

"Angela and I are splitting up."

"As in divorcing?"

"Yes."

Caroline patted his hands. "I'm sorry," she said.

"You don't seem too surprised," Ed was staring at the patterns in the wood and looked up from the table.

"Eddie, if there's one thing a mother knows, it's when her children are suffering, and you have been suffering for a while now, haven't you?"

Brow furrowed, Ed replied, "I don't know if I would say suffering-"

Caroline shook her head, "-You're not happy. To me, that's suffering."

"Let's say it didn't work out the way I planned."

Knowing Ed would rather drive nails through his fingers than admit he was in despair, Caroline changed the subject. "How are the girls?"

Ed managed a chuckle. "They must have seen it comin, too," he said, "But they're gonna be the ones who bear the brunt of all of this. They have to move. They have to change schools, lose friends. Once they figure that out, it's not going to be easy." Ed went on to explain how Angela used her desire to live in the suburbs as a pretext to the divorce discussion. Caroline listened patiently and spun her glass around and around in her hands but she drank very little. "I suppose I realized a while ago we weren't going to be married forever," he concluded.

"There's no reason why you should be miserable. And, Eddie," Caroline grabbed his hand again, "You must forgive yourself. This isn't all your fault. I know you. You're going to want to analyze every little thing, but you'll drive yourself crazy doing that. Be the best father you can be and rebuild your life."

Ed grunted.

"It may seem early to think about it," Caroline conceded, "But that's what you have to do. I don't want you moping around for the rest of my life. Or yours." She forced eye contact and he grinned. "That's my boy," she said. "It'll all work out. You'll see."

…

The first time Olivia learned she could, with near-perfect accuracy, pinpoint what Ed was thinking happened early on, a few days after Halloween, when they were testing the waters of intimacy. It happened late one night before he left her apartment and after an elongated kiss goodbye. There was nothing outwardly suspicious in his body language, but she sensed uneasiness. Thanks to some gentle prodding, Ed revealed he was deliberating about asking her and Noah to join him for the holidays. He badly wanted them to come, but he was terrified of exerting too much pressure on her. Two major developments occurred that night-Olivia showed the extent of her commitment (which Ed loved) and realized she had the sixth sense (which Ed did not know about).

Now that he knew, he appreciated how Olivia waited for the perfect moments to call him out. Most often, those moments occurred directly after they made love.

"Tell me," she said softly, smiling and stroking his face. "What's going on in there?" She kissed his forehead and laid her head back on her side of the pillow.

"I don't want to."

He sounded like a child and Olivia laughed. "Not an option."

"When the girls and I were talkin' today," Ed sighed and gripped Olivia's hip like he was worried she would bolt out of the room, "I told them about Noah and the counselor, and Brooke's sage, inebriated advice was to send him to therapy, but, she prefaced it with, 'given his history' which, I dunno, irked me enough to make me leave."

The content, placid expression remained on Olivia's face. She was neither surprised nor enraged. "Did Sarah leave, too?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Brooke must be beating herself up," Olivia said. She briefly rolled over and looked at the clock as if she didn't already know it was too late to call.

Ed was baffled. "What she said...it was out of line, but, in the heat of the moment, I may have overreacted. I probably shoulda stayed."

"Was it so out of line?" Olivia saw his brow furrow and continued, "Noah might need therapy someday. We're not going to be able to hide," she swallowed and let a wordless second pass rather than utter Johnny D's name, "him from Noah. Or the whole truth about Ellie. And I can't predict how he'll react, and, depending on his age, on how he feels, therapy's an option. At least, I've always thought it would be."

Ed kept his hand on her hip and started rubbing her skin with his thumb. "I'm on board with whatever you think is best. In the future. But now?"

"It sounds like Brooke conflated two separate issues. No surprise given how much you said you had to drink," Olivia shot him a teasing smirk, "There's the future and there's now. And, for now, I think he's okay. And we know the questions to ask and that we need to check in with him more often. Also, they have those weekly sessions at school-"

"-guess I was wrong in bein' irritated with them."

"Nah," Olivia played with his hair. He badly needed a cut. "I get it. There's a fear, I know, that some stranger is going to ask the wrong question, upset him even more, but we have to remember they're professionals, and they have the kids' best interests at heart. I trust their process."

"Then I do, too." Ed gave her a kiss. "And I also have to apologize to Brooke. I'll call her first thing in the morning."

"Why don't you let me talk to her first," Olivia suggested.

Ed took one of her hands and kissed each finger. "That's what you think is best?"

"Yes." Olivia nestled into him, laid her head on his chest and draped an arm across his waist.

Ed kissed her again and closed his eyes. "Then that's what we'll do."

…...

It didn't take much for Ed's children to cajole him into a Pontoon ride after their time at the amusement park. Noah, Maggie, and Wyatt were even willing to give up lunch at their favorite seafood shack, and, instead, proposed they pack sandwiches, chips, and fruit from home. Ed agreed and their two-vehicle caravan made a stop at the house before continuing on to the marina. Noah reported Olivia and the others were over an hour away and enthusiastically shopping, so the group began Dad Day, Part Two. On the dock, the older Tucker kids helped Mari and Anthony with sunscreen and life jackets. Once they were set, the trio took turns spraying Banana Boat onto one another's backs.

"Sof!" Maggie called over to the younger girl who was closely watching a crew attend to a much larger boat, "C'mere! Your back's gonna get burned up!"

The water was calm and there weren't many boaters out, so Ed agreed to pull the kids on their large tube for an hour. He and Olivia learned early on to limit tubing time up front or it would be impossible to take a leisurely cruise around the bay. There was plenty of room for four or five kids on the inflatable, but when Wyatt invited Sofia on, she shook her head and refused.

"C'mon!" Maggie, already in place, shook the handles, "It's fun! You can ride in the middle!"

Sonny, in a hushed voice, asked Sofia if she wanted him to go along.

"No." Sofia took a tentative step forward.

"We'll do Maggie, Wyatt, Sof, Me," Noah said.

Wyatt hopped from the back of the pontoon onto the tube, pretended to try and knock Maggie into the water, and took his spot. He motioned for Sofia to jump. "There's a net in the middle," he said.

While Sofia gathered the courage to follow Wyatt's instructions, Justin buckled JJ into his tiny baby life vest and temporarily put him on the floor while he checked the tow rope. "Sof went on the tube last year, didn't she?" He asked Sonny.

"Yeah, but every summer's new," he replied, "Groundhog Day, beach version."

Justin chuckled. All four kids were on the tube and he gave them a push. "Hang on!" He shouted.

Noah gave him the thumbs up.

"Son, you want to spot or want me to?" Justin asked.

"You better," Sonny said, "Sof might be calmer without me watching." He picked up JJ and sat in the seat next to Ed. "Let's hit it, Captain!"

After the hour, which Ed let stretch into ninety minutes, the kids sat around the table in the front and ate their late lunch. They divided the family into teams for the evening's kickball (or maybe wiffleball) game which involved evaluating each person's athletic ability. With the wind and the motor, it was impossible to hear every word, but everyone was skeptical of Sonny's skills. Ed hoped his son-in-law was sufficiently distracted because he wasn't sure how he would take another shot to the ego.

"Gorgeous day," Justin remarked. He was standing between Ed and Sonny and loosely hanging on to the canopy's crossbar. "So peaceful out here, too. You were smart to buy here. I wish we used the condo in Florida more often."

"Liv and I always talk about going down there in the winter, but the kids' break always goes by so fast."

"I don't think I'll ever have a break long enough," Sonny griped.

Justin side-eyed Sonny. The two of them got along, but Justin wasn't always sure how to respond to him when he was in a whiny mood. Sonny was tired, so Justin gave him the benefit of the doubt, but he did not have infinite reserves of patience. "It's open for everyone whenever," Justin said brightly, "But yeah, I wish there were more direct flights. You almost always have to connect." Despite wearing sunglasses, he squinted out into the distance. "How'd you decide on this town anyway?"

Ed smiled. He liked to answer any question that involved a decision he and Olivia had made together. "Ya know, it was really at random. I used to have a condo in Kill Devil Hills but the drive was too much. Liv loved it there, though, we all did. I sold it and we kinda picked a place on the map far enough from the city but within reasonable driving distance and not too tourist-oriented. We rented the house and when it came up for sale, it was a no brainer."

"Wow," Justin said, "That was lucky."

"Yeah it was," Ed replied, "I remember walkin' on the beach with Liv one night, we'd just learned it was going on the market, and I stopped and told her we were buying it-"

"-and Liv went along with it?" Sonny asked and snapped his fingers, "Like that?"

Ed smirked, "I think she realized I already had my mind made up."

"Runs in the family," Justin remarked, "There was no arguing with Sare when she bought the condo."

Sonny joined the knowing laughter, but there was a nagging pit forming in his gut. So many differences between his and Brooke's offshoot of the family and the others had been laid bare in the past few hours. Ed and Justin deftly juggled three kids, stayed patient, had fun, and didn't worry that someone had too much ice cream or another one kept running ahead of everyone else. Whenever they talked about their wives, there was a jauntiness in their dispositions and it was obvious they were madly in love. Sonny wondered if he gushed like that when he talked about Brooke. It was possible, but doubtful. Most glaring of all, though, was that the Tuckers and the Vidals, though busy and, even, at times, overwhelmed, seemed to always have a plan, they always knew what they wanted. Sonny and Brooke often felt like they were drifting aimlessly through life, reacting to fires when they arose, then drifting more until the next crisis hit.

It hadn't always been like this, but the malaise was so familiar, it was now part of their lives. Rather than offer a respite, vacation cast a spotlight on the worst truths of their marriage.

"Dad! Look! It's Titanic!" Sonny jerked his head in the direction of Sofia's voice. She stood at the bow at a forward angle, with her arms outstretched. Unbeknownst to the adults until Olivia saw it in the Netflix queue, Maggie and the others watched Titanic a couple of nights ago. Maggie heard about the classic film from her friends and was delighted when the streaming service picked it up. Afterwards she Googled "Leonardo DiCaprio" and gagged. "He's OLD!" she'd exclaimed.

"You look exactly like Rose," Sonny called to his daughter.

"You know Titanic, Son?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah," he said, "I watched it at least ten times with my sisters when it came out."

Maggie ran over, put her hands on Sonny's knees, and narrowed her eyes. Pieces of her brown locks were drying in curlicues at her hairline. "There was room for Jack on the raft, wasn't there?" She asked.

The interrogation made the men laugh.

"Definitely," Sonny said, "They did him wrong."

….

Brooke opened her eyes to the bright morning sun and, for a second, wasn't certain she was actually at home. She'd slept on top of the bed with no covers, completely clothed, and it felt like sandpaper was tucked underneath her eyelids. She'd forgotten to remove her contact lenses. It was so uncomfortable she peeled them out and tossed the tiny plastic discs onto the floor. Their removal did nothing for her splitting headache.

She shuffled into the kitchen for water and ibuprofen. Her phone was on the counter next to an empty paper cup of instant ramen noodles. Brooke barely remembered eating them. Vaguely, she remembered confirming Sonny's and Sofia's stay in Staten Island the night before and she was relieved they hadn't witnessed her in the inebriated, drugged state. After swallowing three ibuprofen, she tapped her phone and several notifications greeted her. News, more news, an appointment reminder for Monday, a weather alert, and three text messages.

Reading them, Brooke struggled to breathe.

Her heart sank.

They were all from Olivia.

She muttered, "Shit," and stumbled to the couch. She covered her eyes with her forearm and willed the pills to start working so she could think more clearly. In the meantime, Brooke thought of a game she and Sarah used to play when they were in middle school. They called it Freebies. You were allowed to give a punch, a kill, and an insult without consequences. They would take turns revealing who would get what. Brooke wished she could cash in the free insult; she wished she had a takeback.

But it wasn't going to happen. Olivia wanted to see her. Brooke would have to own her words. Fuck it, she thought as she stood up again and went back to the kitchen to hunt for food. Sarah and her Dad were already furious with her. Olivia might as well join the club.

….

#Tuckson