146.
The plea agreement proceedings lasted less than an hour. They included a half-hearted statement from Gary Wald and a sharp rebuke from the presiding judge. A handful of Rachel's friends, family, and coworkers stepped in to give impassioned and tear-filled impact statements after which Wald was sentenced to the agreed upon fifteen years. His attorneys requested he be placed in protective custody, and when the judge denied the request, Ed muttered under his breath, "Good." Olivia held Ed's hand the entire time. They sat off to the side behind the prosecution table in a gallery that would have been packed if it hadn't been for lingering virus restrictions. At the end, Gary was escorted into an adjacent holding room and Ed mumbled a few barely-audible words.
"You're what?" Olivia asked.
"I'm going to see him."
Ed squeezed her elbow and breezed around the benches to catch Ms. Hadid. They exchanged a few words and she finally gave him a reluctant nod. Ed glanced at Olivia and she mouthed the words "I'll stay here". She wasn't alone for long.
"Hey, Lieu," Carisi said, "Or, well, Liv. Sorry. Being in here, with you, it's Lieu. Well, this is over."
"It was a generous deal," Olivia said, "But I'm not sure what to make of Gary agreeing to it so easily."
"Saved us a hell of a lot of time and money," Carisi said, "Fifteen with ten mandatory...he'll age. Be an old man when he gets out. He lived the last few years thinkin' everyone ate out of his hand. He's gonna get a rude awakening in a couple hours." Carisi looked at his watch as if he had a live countdown of the time between sentencing and Wald's arrival at Sing Sing.
"He might be getting a taste of it now," Olivia said, "Hadid took Ed back there to talk to him."
Carisi's eyes drifted to the door on the far side of the room, and his face lit up. "Oh shit."
"I hope she knows not to leave them alone."
"She won't. She's a control freak."
"Right."
"Welp," Carisi slapped his knees, "I gotta go. Tell Noah and the twins hi for me."
"I will. Hey, how's Brooke doing?"
"She's good. Sof started back at day care today and she's going to yoga. She seemed really excited about it. Got a new mat and everything."
Sonny had no clue. Olivia wondered whether he was oblivious by Brooke's design or his. "Well, good for her," Olivia said cheerfully. "I'll see you later. I'm going to call and check on the kids while there's no one in here."
"Alright, Lieu, see ya later."
Jaunty and energetic, he strode out of the courtroom in pursuit of the next item on his legal to-do list. He and Brooke were on two completely opposite pages. No, at this point, they were two totally different books. It was baffling to see a couple so out of touch with one another. Some marriages turned out that way-in a permanent state of ignorant bliss. Clearly, Brooke wasn't blissful, but she was doing enough to fool Sonny. Or, maybe he wasn't paying attention. Maybe diving into work was his way of hoping Brooke's insecurities and issues would iron themselves out.
The door creaked and Ed appeared, looking as devoid of emotion as Olivia had ever seen him. He'd only been gone for ten minutes or so, but relief washed over Olivia as if he'd been away for hours or days. She rushed over to meet him in the middle of the room, and, admittedly, was eager to hear what transpired between him and his former partner.
….
In court, Gary Wald towered over his two attorneys and his bulky body seemed close to overwhelming the defense chair in which he sat. But when Ed had the guard open the holding cell door so he could face him without bars, Gary was shrunken, defeated, and devoid of the callous defiance he'd radiated throughout the investigation. Ed felt absolutely no sympathy for the man, but he always wondered what went through people's minds when they were in this place, having exhausted all legal avenues toward freedom, and resigning themselves to the reality that they would soon be in a transport van, shackled, and leaving all the comforts of their former lives behind.
Gary didn't say a word.
Ed folded his hands and bent his fingers backwards. He stared at the drab concrete floor. A crack ran from a circular drain, under Gary's bench, and into the next cell. It reminded Ed of some repair work he needed to do at the beach house. Not one to wish the days away, he nevertheless couldn't wait for warmer weather and to relocate to Delaware for a few weeks during the summer. Perhaps he could convince Olivia to go south for a weekend soon to get the flower beds ready for planting.
Gary coughed, interrupting the daydream.
There was so much Ed wanted to do-rough him up, scream profanities, kick his shins until they were bloody. Rage bubbled in his chest, but his tone was even and cool when he uttered, "Why?"
"Tucker," Gary muttered through gnashed teeth. His eyes blazed. Ed could see his heavy breaths blowing against his whiskers. "Whaddya want me to say?"
"You're not gonna do it are ya?"
"Do what?"
"Own it. Own what you did to Rachel. To who knows who else? And own what you did to the department. To me, but, you don't care about anyone but yourself, right? That's how you get to where you are now?"
"You mean to tell me all of a sudden your heart's bleeding? You get to judge me? Rich, Tucker. Real, real rich. Why don't you get the hell outta here and keep telling yourself you're different from me. Different from all of us."
Seeing Gary had been a mistake. Ed should have known better, but he got wrapped up in the emotion of the hearing and impulsively cajoled his way back here. Gary would never be remorseful. He'd never sincerely admit his guilt, and Ed was foolish to think he would be able to extract a sincere confession. Without another word he signaled for the guard and marched out of the holding area.
…..
Life at sea was treating Cragen and Eileen well. Suntanned and smiling, they waited on the boardwalk for the Tucker family and neither looked as if they'd aged much since Olivia last saw them. The kids watched as hugs were exchanged. Noah was surprised his Dad actually embraced Captain Cragen. He vaguely remembered his Dad not being very friendly to the man once, a long time ago at some sort of gathering. Nevertheless, Noah kept close to Ed, emphasizing his loyalties.
"And here are the kids," Olivia made a swooping motion with her arm.
Noah, Maggie, and Wyatt stepped forward and extended their hands and introduced themselves the way they'd been taught. It was slightly robotic yet cute and sweet, especially when Eileen complimented Maggie's bracelets and she launched into the story about losing the first shark's tooth and rushing to get another one that same afternoon. Cragen traded smirks with Olivia who patiently let her daughter finish the anecdote.
"Let's grab a table," Ed eyed the patio. There were only two larger round tables remaining.
"That one," Wyatt pointed, looked to Ed for permission, and, getting the nod, sprinted to claim it.
Noah and Maggie followed, giving the adults a minute of alone time before what was sure to be a boisterous lunch. The Tucker kids never took long to warm up.
"They're precious," Eileen said.
"Yes they are," Cragen added, "Congratulations, you two. But, I have to say, they must keep you busy."
"Yep," Ed replied, "But I wouldn't have it any other way."
Once seated, Eileen and Cragen peppered the kids with questions about school, friends, and their summer life in Delaware. Noah and the twins talked excitedly about jet skis, practicing on their surfboards, and building sandcastles. They mentioned the fire pit and invited Cragen and Eileen over later on for s'mores.
Cragen grinned, "Well, if it's okay with your mom and dad."
"It's okay with us," Olivia said.
"Wouldn't mind takin' a look at your boat," Ed added, "How long have you been out?"
"A couple weeks," Cragen said, "We're actually on our way to Jersey. Have a buyer for it there."
"A buyer?" Olivia asked.
"I'll be eighty in a couple months," Cragen said, "The boat's a lot of upkeep, fifty feet, a little much for us, and the grandkids don't have time for it. We still have the Pontoon at home. That's all we need"
"We have a Pontoon, too," Noah said.
"I think it's prolly fifty feet," Maggie chimed in.
Wyatt crinkled his nose and objected. "No it's not! It's like, twenty."
"Twenty-four," Ed clarified.
"I was closer," Wyatt murmured.
Eileen and Cragen were clearly entertained by the kids but they chuckled when the trio ordered their drinks. Maggie specified the number of cherries she wanted in her Shirley Temple. Wyatt asked for an extra pineapple slice in his coconut cooler. Noah requested a cherry Coke made with the maraschino juice and wanted limes as a garnish. Their requests were all couched in pleases and thank yous.
When the server scurried away, Olivia remarked, "We can be a little particular."
"So, what's good here?" Cragen asked, holding the large menu in front of his face.
"Tacos," Noah said, "The mahi tacos are really good."
"And nachos and shrimp," Maggie said. "You can get spicy or regular. We like half and half and you get two sauces, one red and the other, um, kinda pink. Daddy? Are you gonna share shrimp with me?"
Ed grinned at his daughter. "Sure."
Lost in thought, Wyatt had been gazing out into the ocean. It was a beautiful, warm, breezy summer day and the public beach was quickly getting crowded. He was glad the stretch of sand in front of his house was not typically this packed. A boat floated by a few hundred feet off shore, and he turned to Cragen and Eileen. "You drove your boat all the way here from Florida?"
Olivia and Ed grinned. Wyatt was soft spoken but not shy. They knew Cragen and Eileen could be in for a very detailed interrogation from their nine-year-old.
"We sure did," Eileen replied.
"Wow...did you sleep out there in the ocean?"
"No," Cragen said, "We would dock in marinas along the way. I bet younger people sleep at sea, but we liked to visit towns along the way. Walk around. See the sights."
"And try new restaurants," Eileen added.
"What if there's a storm?" Wyatt asked.
"We're never too far from shore," Cragen said, "And we have a good radar system on board. We stayed an extra day in South Carolina because of bad weather. We've been lucky. And it looks clear the rest of the week, all the way to New Jersey."
"New Jersey by New York or New Jersey far from New York?"
"What's it called, Eileen? Seaside-"
"-Seaport Inlet Marina."
"Mom, can I use your phone?" Olivia handed the phone to Wyatt. She knew he was itching to locate the marina on the map and get a visual of where the Cragens were headed. "That's by Asbury Park," he murmured and grinned at Ed, "Bruce Springsteen, Dad."
"That's right, bud."
"You a Springsteen fan, Wyatt?" Cragen asked.
"Yeah," Wyatt replied. He blushed a little as he always did when all the attention was on him. "And U2. I like Bruce the best and Noah likes U2 the best. I wish we could see concerts but sometimes the bands here play their songs."
"Wyatt's always watchin' the concerts on YouTube!" Maggie said, giggling.
"Better than watching Shawn Mendes all the time," Noah teased. "Or, what's that other one? He's like, twelve? Gavin someone?"
"He's thirteen and it's Gavin Gulli."
Olivia took her phone back from Wyatt and changed the subject. Even though she could listen to her kids banter for long stretches at a time, Cragen and Eileen didn't need to hear Maggie defend the musical talents of the summer's hottest boy bands. "So," she said, "Tell us about the towns you've visited. Ed and I have always wanted to see more of the east coast. What stood out?"
….
In the middle of the courthouse steps, Ed stopped, and abruptly kissed and hugged Olivia. The steps were constantly in motion, full of people coming and going, and, unless there was a pop-up presser, the protocol on the steps was to keep moving. Ed didn't care if others had to sidestep him and Olivia on their paths in or out. He took several deep breaths and Olivia didn't move until he released her.
"Can we walk a little while?" He asked.
"Of course."
It was challenging to walk hand-in-hand on the crowded city sidewalks, but Ed and Olivia managed to stay connected all the way down Broadway and through Battery Park. Near the water, the breeze picked up and Olivia wrapped both arms around his as they meandered along the wider paths.
"How are you feeling?" She asked.
Ed shrugged. "Like I want to be satisfied, relieved it's over, but it'll never be over, not for the people who knew Rachel. It feels superficial. You know what he said to me?" Ed chuckled sarcastically. "He told me I wasn't any different from him. Seriously? He's never gonna get it. Ever."
"You are different from him."
Ed leaned his head into hers.
"You understand that, right?"
"Yeah…"
"Predators like Gary...they're so used to getting away with their crimes, they have the invincibility complex and, when it's laid bare that they're not, well, they lash out, they redirect their guilt, and rarely do they accept responsibility for what they've done. If it weren't for you, Ed, Gary would be able to continue preying on women. You wore the wire. You got the confession. And now I hope you can forgive yourself."
They reached the path adjacent to the water and stood with their elbows on the railing. In the distance, the Statue of Liberty stood, majestic and mystical in the thin layer of fog that had stubbornly settled in the harbor. This view, from various angles, had been so important over the course of their lives together. They came to the path to celebrate and to mourn, when they needed a break and needed something to do. It was one of the first places Ed and Olivia had taken Noah together. It was the first place they took the newborn twins for a walk in their stroller. When Maggie and Wyatt were old enough to ride two-wheelers, the five of them would certainly become regular pathway cyclists, and Noah would plot the route since he had a keen knowledge of the best playgrounds and places to stop for a treat before pedaling onward. Today the space provided absolution, and when Olivia took his hand again and they left the park, Ed also left behind the tremendous weight he'd been carrying for the past few months.
"Want to have lunch before we go home?" Olivia asked. "G said she's fine and the twins are taking naps."
"Yeah, let's do that."
"Any place in particular you want to go?"
Ed kissed her cheek before the crossed the street, "Let's try somethin' brand new."
…..
Over the course of the summer months and into the fall, the girls developed new habits when they were in Ed's care. They left their backpacks in the middle of the living room and didn't always take their shoes off right away after entering his new apartment. Their bathroom was larger than the one in the old place and featured a bathtub, so Sarah pampered herself with long bubble baths and sometimes even lit candles until Ed caught a whiff of them and made her blow them out. Overall, they were happy, even though they now shared a room, and Ed took great pride in devoting all his time and attention to them when they were together.
He also spoiled them by taking them to eat at their favorite restaurants and giving them a generous allowance to spend at their favorite stores. It wasn't buying their affection, he figured, it was softening the blow of divorce. Brooke and Sarah surely saw through the permissiveness, but they let it ride. What young girl wouldn't?
On an October evening, the week before Halloween, they requested dumplings, so Ed took them to a dim sum spot just south of the more mainstream Manhattan Chinatown. Here there were no souvenir stores selling cheap t-shirts or knock off handbags. Walking this particular section of the city made one feel as if they'd actually traveled to another continent. The entire menu was written in Chinese and featured few pictures, but the owner recognized Ed, they exchanged nods, and a little while later platters of steaming delicacies arrived at the table.
The girls updated him on Halloween plans and made a few costume requests. Ed mentioned dinner at Caroline's the following Sunday and then proposed his idea for a long weekend in Florida for Thanksgiving. He expected Brooke and Sarah to be ecstatic, but, instead, they exchanged solemn glances and dropped their chopsticks.
Ed wiped his mouth and dramatically folded his napkin. He and Angela agreed on the holiday schedule without lawyers and had been flexible and accommodating when unexpected snags arose, but he knew the goodwill would be short lived. Now, there was some underhandedness at play and Ed was pissed because Brooke and Sarah were being used as pawns.
"Tell me," he said. Whatever they were about to reveal would be painful, but Ed puffed out his chest. He had never felt more paternal.
"Mom and Dave are getting married on Thanksgiving," Sarah said. "So we have to be there."
Brooke was near tears and tremulous. "I'm sorry."
"This is not your fault," Ed replied in his stern, compassionate tone he had perfected in the past few months.
Sarah, genuinely curious, opened her eyes wide and asked, "Whose fault is it?"
Ed always tried to be honest and seem unflappable in front of his daughters, but he couldn't help rubbing his temples. Childhood and adolescence were filled with at-fault debates. Who spilled the glue? Who sat at the wrong lunch table? Who threw the paper wad? Who didn't do his or her part of the project? It was natural for Sarah to want to pinpoint blame.
"Your mom getting married isn't anyone's fault," Ed replied, sidestepping the deeper question, "We'll go to Florida another time."
Brooke stirred around her noodles, desperately battling back sobs.
Sarah bit into a dumpling and optimistically declared, "It's better in winter. We can go for Valentine's Day."
Brooke was hicupping now.
Ed had no clue what to do so he shoved a dumpling into his mouth and, after he chewed and swallowed, completely agreed with Sarah.
…..
Seated at the island and nursing a glass of wine, Sarah absent-mindedly paged through one of the dozens of magazines Olivia and Ed kept in a basket in the living room. The titles ranged from Time to National Geographic Kids and everything in between. Sarah was surprised to find a recent copy of People-she couldn't picture her Dad and Olivia being very interested in the lives of the rich and famous, but, then again, there was more than one Cosmopolitan in the stack. You never knew with those two.
"Love after a pandemic," Sarah read from one of the covers, "Hmm. Did you read that article, Livvie?"
Olivia paused slicing the pineapple she'd cored and peered across the island. "No. But I did read one about people who met online and are now having to meet in person."
Sarah giggled. "What? Like, Do's and Don'ts?"
"It was more along the lines of, forgive each other for embellishing, keep an open mind, don't expect conversation to flow like it did, that kind of thing. I don't know why I read it. I must have been incredibly bored."
"Embellishing? If you've been meeting on Zoom or whatever, what would you be embellishing? Or did they mean someone's more likely to lie about a job or money?"
"Yes, that."
Sarah kept perusing headlines. "My boyfriend lied about his age, meh, no big deal. I was caught faking it," she giggled again, "Do you think the authors make these articles up? Who would get so personal with a complete stranger? How does the girl writing the article even find people to interview?"
Olivia laughed along with Sarah but mostly because she thought it was funny that Sarah judged a topic to be too personal. "Good question," she said, "Maybe social media?"
She started laughing harder and Sarah narrowed her eyes. "What?"
"Your Dad's the Twitter expert now. Maybe he knows."
"Omigod, omigod, omigod," Sarah lowered her voice even though Ed and Noah had gone out for a couple of neighborhood errands. "Maybe he's been...solicited!" She made an exaggerated show of flipping through the magazine, "I wonder if he's one of these 'names have been changed' guys!"
The commotion in the kitchen finally attracted the attention of the twins and they came running, wanting in on the fun.
"Hello little darlings!" Sarah reached down and bopped their noses. "We're just talking about Daddy."
"Dada gone w'NO," Wyatt said. "I say home!"
"Rightie-oh! What were you playing over there?"
"Have a dino in a garden!" Maggie pointed over near the window where she and Wyatt had strategically arranged fake potted plants and plastic and plush prehistoric animals.
"Uh oh! Are the dinos eating the plants?"
"No! They STOMP!" Maggie marched in high step around the island to her mother's side.
Wyatt ran over, plucked a pterodactyl from the garden, and brought it over. "Here, Sah! You dino!"
"Thank you sweetie!" Sarah held it to her heart, "I'll play in a minute, okay?"
"Here, sweet twins" Olivia held up two plastic bowls, "Have some pineapple. Go over to your table."
Sarah spun around and watched the twins stab the chunks with their toddler-sized forks. "Gawwwd they're so cute. I can't stand it. G can't either. She said she had the best time babysitting them."
Olivia had been planning on asking Sarah whether or not she'd talked to Brooke since the bar blowup, but the mention of G reminded her of another detail that had stuck in her mind. "She does such a great job with them. And, bonus, she always puts their toys away."
"Omigod she does the same thing when she checks on Pearl. Her apartment's immaculate."
"Have you had a chance to get to know her well?"
Sarah answered in the affirmative immediately, but, seconds later, changed her mind. "Actually, it's weird, well, not weird, but, we're neighbors. We're friendly but not exactly friends. We've had drinks a few times, but I guess we're not exactly, like, chummy. Why?"
Olivia hated to be evasive, but she did feel obligated to protect G's privacy. "There are sometimes she seems a little down, a little quiet."
"I think that's how she is," Sarah said. "And I know her job is insane. Last winter, she had three different benefits going on within a month's time and I literally almost bought black market Xanax for her. So, maybe, when you see her she gets to be with the twinsies and she's just...decompressing."
"Maybe…" Olivia convinced herself not to worry about it for now. She remembered another tidbit from that morning and smiled.
"Now what?" Sarah leaned forward on her elbows.
"You cannot say anything to her," Olivia ordered. She felt and sounded like a gossipy teenager.
"What?"
"Your Dad gave her a hug and she was so, um, well, it took her by surprise."
Sarah slapped the granite. "Omigod, omigod, omigod."
"Yeah…"
"Was she totally blushing?"
"A little."
"Livvie," Sarah sighed and gazed dreamily at Olivia, "That is so adorable. Both her being like, what the fuck, and Daddy hugging her."
"I think we're all happy to be around people again. To be able to actually hug someone else…"
"Yeah…"
"...Not that your Dad gets sick of hugging me."
Sarah held up her glass. "Livvie, I am sure, that is impossible."
…..
#Tuckson