A Sitch in Jump City
By: Bubbajack
Co-Author/Editors: Icysnowsage, First Hassan
First Chap Disclaimer: We don't own shit! If we did, do you think we'd be writing fanfiction?
Ch.1: Ron meets Jump City.
Note: Big thanks to our Super Donors Ben Wanless, Bobby Glass, CrazymanDK, Jac, Jareth Norris, Meraj Alimi, and Selmephren.
Ronald Dean Stoppable looked glumly outside of the moving van window as it moved out of his hometown of Middleton. He wondered if his parents understood how telling him last second they were moving affected his life. He felt bad for KP since she has to deal with saving the world and everything. Who knows maybe things might finally go in his favor for once…
Oh who was he kidding. When has anything ever gone in his favor? 'Never, that's when' he thought to himself as he crossed his arms and gave his parents the side glare.
"Oh Ronnie," His mother said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "I know this was sudden but you'll make new friends. Plus you'll like California."
"California, yeah great," Ron replied, "It doesn't even snow in California mom. What kind of Hanukkah are we gonna have without snow… or the Possible family christmas?" he muttered to himself.
"Yeah Eggnog!" Rufus said sadly, equally despondent, popping his head out of Ron's pocket.
"Now son, I know you'll miss Kimmie, heck I feel like we're leaving a daughter behind!" his father admitted with his wife nodding along. "But your mother can't just turn down a job offer like this! Its a once in a lifetime opportunity!" He gave his son a wink, "Don't worry though, your mother and I have a plan, by this time next year, we'll be spending our holidays back in Middleton. As a sort of summer/holiday home of course."
"A whole year?!" Ron hid his face in his hands. "This was supposed to be our year! Me and KP were gonna have it on lock!"
"KP and I, Ronnie!" His mother corrected. She had a thing for proper grammar.
Yet that was the straw that broke the camel's back for him, "Oh thanks mom, maybe you should've been an English teacher instead of doing… whatever it is you do that has us moving all the way to California!"
"Ronald!" His father gave him a hard look. "I know you're upset, but you do not take that tone with your mother. Am I understood?"
Sighing, he looked at his mother, who looked hurt at his harsh retort before he nodded, "Sorry mom… but could you guys please let me know things in advance from now on? Just springing life changing events on me like moving to California and having to move away from my childhood home and friends without notice is just… too much, it's not cool."
The husband and wife shared a look, and his father spoke up after a moment's hesitation, "Perhaps you're right Ronald. You've had your Bar Mitzvah, you're a man now, and we should be treating you like one. You are no longer a child. Goodness, you help save the world on multiple occasions."
Placing her hand on her son's shoulder, Marrian Stoppable, continued, "Your father is right, and we haven't been fair to you sweetie. We'll try to keep you informed from now on, okay?"
"That's all I ask," Ron said, sighing in relief at the small victory he'd attained in his life. Rufus clambered onto his shoulder so he could pat his cheek in comfort. "Thanks buddy. Who knows maybe Jump City won't be too bad?"
"Maybe?" The mole rat squeaked in a hopeful tone.
(...)
'I was wrong, it's bad!' Ron thought as they were gridlocked on an offramp. The reason being a group of superpowered teens were fighting a giant twelve foot tall rock golem that one would expect to see in a video game. An orange skinned girl with red hair in a semi-skimpy outfit was throwing green bursts of energy that was making him think of Shego, while a cyborg was firing some kind of blasts out of his arm cannon, and a green triceratops was ramming it, as a goth girl in a blue cloak was encasing things in a black aura before chucking them, and last but not least, the Batman's (former?) sidekick Robin was throwing explosive disks.
The giant mobile statue guy just seemed annoyed as he ripped a lamppost out of the ground and swatted the redhead out of the air like she was an overly large mosquito. Ron didn't think, he threw his seatbelt off and pulled the door of the van open, and ran in. Someone was in danger!
(...)
Robin grit his teeth, the fight against Cinderblock was not going well. He wasn't smart but he was durable and hard to take down. The Titans were throwing everything they could at him and he wasn't going down. This wasn't unusual but the problem was they'd cornered him on an overpass. People could easily get caught in the crossfire if they weren't careful.
He tried throwing Robinrangs at the walking pile of cement, but that only annoyed him, 'Or is Cinderblock an it?' He briefly wondered before he shook his head and took out his collapsible bo staff and prepared to strike, only for the behemoth to rip a lamppost out of the ground along with a chunk of cement, and use it like a club to whack Starfire out of the air, sending her crashing into a stone barrier.
"Starfire!" Robin yelled in rage and concern. He was about to rush in when someone rushed past him, a blur of motion. 'Who was that?' The Boy Wonder found himself wondering.
He watched as someone, who looked to be a civilian, slid between Cinderblocks legs, picked Starfire up in a bridal carry, and then did a backflip onto the cement barrier avoiding the incoming blow with his improvised weapon.
"Just who is this guy?" Robin wondered.
Ron had no idea what he was doing, just that he saw someone getting hurt, that someone was a girl, and a redhead. All of his boxes got ticked and before he knew it he had slid between the monster's legs, grabbed the girl and did a flip, somehow managing to balance himself on a cement barrier between safety and certain death if he fell. Ron didn't think about any of that though. He just wanted to prevent the girl in his arms from getting smashed by the rock monster.
"Dude," Ron said, "Personal space, ever heard of it?" Ron asked only for the walking sculpture to roar at him, "Guess not," He did a sidehop to the right to avoid another blow, and then ran up the weapon before hopping on the head and sliding down his back.
The girl in his arms started to come around then, "Hmm, I… Who are you?"
"Just your friendly neighborhood prince charming, here to rescue Xena Warrior princess in her time of need," Ron joked, as he nodded back towards the rock monster. "Y'know, I betcha if someone could blast the ground he's standing on, he'd fall and not be able to get up?"
Starfire's eyes glowed luminescent green as she smirked and fired twin beams from her eyes. She blasted the ground around Cinderblock which kicked up a cloud of dust before the sound of stone breaking and the villain letting out a long echoing yell as he fell several stories and slammed into the earth between the overpass and the highway with a solid thud.
"You have my thanks, friend, " Starfire said, giving him a kind smile. "You may also do the putting of me down now."
It took Ron a sec to figure out what she'd said, but once he did, he flushed a bit, "Oh! My bad dudette," He set her on her feet and noted she was light but also a lot taller than him.
"Thank you very much for saving me," She said bowing to him. "I appreciate it very much," She said before going to peer over the edge,
Ron followed her looking down himself, despite seeing Cinderblock buried more than a foot in the ground, he couldn't help but ask, "Did we get em?
Starfire giggled, "I think we did yes. What is your name? I am Starfire of Tamarand."
"Ron, Ron Stoppable," He replied, offering her a hand, only for her to go for a near back breaking hug as his spine cracked from the force.
"It is nice to meet you, Friend Ron! Thank you for your aid," She pulled back, holding him at arm's length before asking, "Who is this Warrior Princess Xena you spoke of?"
"It's a classic tv show Star, we can binge it back at the Tower if you want," A green elf in black purple, and silver costume piped up as he made his way over. Holding a gloved hand out, he said, "Beast Boy of the Teen Titans, nice save dude. Normally we tell off civvies for doing what you just did but… man it looked like you knew what you were doing."
Ron rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, "Yeah kinda been in the hero biz a bit myself."
"No kidding?" Beast Boy pointed a finger at him as if trying to place him, "You do look familiar…" He snapped his fingers, "I got it! Your Ron Stoppable Kim Possible's partner!"
Ron was surprised a real hero knew his name when Drakken of all people couldn't be bothered. But that wasn't the only thing. "Partner? Me?" He said pointing at himself? "Nah man I'm more like a bumbling sidekick."
"Bumbling? I didn't see any bumbling when you balanced on stonework back there with Star in your arms," Nudging the orange alien, he said, "Quite the prince charming eh Star?"
The princess nodded, "It was a timely rescue."
"No I meant-Ow! Rae why?!" He said looking over at his cloaked teammate.
She had smacked him in the back of the head with a hand of dark energy, "You know why Beast Boy," She said as she came to stand next to him. She stared at the blonde boy silently for a moment and he stared back smiling.
After a moment of staring he said, "If you blink you lose."
"Heh," Raven let out a single mirthless laugh, "Your… interesting Ron Stoppable," She said after a moment. "You're carefree but can be serious. Smart, but unmotivated. Creative but only when you have an immediate goal you wish to reach. You have… a lot of untapped potential."
"Thanks?" Ron replied unsure if he was being complimented or insulted.
Raven shook her head, "I didn't mean it as an insult, rather an observation," The hooded mystic replied.
"Fair dues milady. No harm no foul," Ron replied, giving a foppish bow.
"Dork," Raven said, rolling her eyes even as she smiled a bit.
Looking around, Starfire asked, "Where are Friends Robin and Cyborg?"
"Cy's getting his car, and Robin went to go talk to the cops," Beast Boy replied, thumbing behind him.
"Oh," Starfire replied looking down a bit, "I see,"
"You okay Princess Xena?" Ron asked.
The alien princess nodded, "Yes it is the nothing, Friend Ron, thank you," She assured him.
Seeing both Beast Boy and Raven frowning he raised an eyebrow, but they shook their heads. The changeling then smacked his fist into his palm, "Hey I got an idea! Why doesn't Ron come over and hang with us some time? We haven't had guests over in like… actually have we ever had guests over Rae?"
"It's Raven and no Beast Boy, I can't recall us having guests… unless you'd like to count that one time the Hive took over the Tower?"
"No, I can't count that… still can't believe they alphabetized my CD's," The greenling said, shaking his head. "So dude, where do you live we can have Cy come pick you up at some point."
Ron scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "I… uh have no idea actually, I just moved here, like my folks and I just showed up in a moving van and we are stuck on the off ramp, just moved here."
Beast Boy's eyes widened in surprise, "Dang… But, what about your partnership with Kim Possible? Oww Rae stop that!" He said as the mystic kicked him in the shin.
"Then get some tact!" She hissed.
Ron grimaced as his face grew solemn, "I… I dunno. We're gonna try and make it work but… I dunno. Anyway, I'd better go, my folks are probably freaking out right now. See you around. Stay safe Starfire."
He sprinted away before the Tamaranian could say anything else.
"Good job Beast Boy, really," Raven said as the blonde boy practically ran from them. "You couldn't have run him off faster if you'd turned into a Tyrannosaurus Rex and started chasing him."
The changeling held his hands up defensively, "Okay, okay, BB messed up…" He then smiled the smile he did when he was about to pull a prank, "But I think I know how to fix this." He then turned into a bird of prey and took off.
"Where is Friend Beast Boy going, Friend Raven?" The princess asked. "I was hoping to learn more of this Warrior Princess Xena once we returned to the Tower."
"I'm sure Cy can help with that Starfire."
"Will you also watch Friend Raven? It has been awhile since we had a Tv night, yes?"
Raven wanted to say no, that she needed to mediate but… she was able to laugh and joke with Ron Stoppable so… 'Maybe I'll be alright?' She thought. "Alright, but only for a few episodes,"
"Yay! A proper TV night! Thank you friend Raven!" Starfire gently hugged her friend.
"Your welcome Star," The cambion replied as she thought, 'I wonder what Beast Boy is up to?'
(...)
Two-hundred feet in the air, a green Peregrine Falcon was on a mission. Winging its way on updrafts, it followed a moving van as it chugged along the highway, heading into the suburbs before coming to a stop in front of a duplex. Alighting on a lamppost, the Peregrine Falcon made note of the address and street signs before it took off again, winging its way towards a T-shaped tower on an island in the middle of the bay.
When Ron saw where he'd be living from now on, he was surprised to see it was a duplex. "So we're sharing the house with someone?"
"That was the original plan," His father replied, "To rent out the other half of the duplex, but it might be better if you live there yourself."
"Me…" Ron said, pointing at himself. "Baddical! You're letting me have my own apartment?"
His father nodded, "As long as you at least pay utilities, sure."
Ron ran a hand down his face, "So job… I can do that, I've been gainfully employed before… at Bueno Nacho,"
"That's the spirit son, but before you go job hunting, do you think you can help us unload the van?"
"Sure dad," Ron replied, 'Maybe things are looking up after all?' He thought. He was still missing KP, his friend since Pre-K being gone was like a hole in the heart, but his parents seemed to have finally realized that just springing things on him wasn't cool, and were trying to make up for it by giving him his own place 'Probably trying to teach me responsibility too,' He thought. 'Well jokes on them! I can be responsible, Rufus is still alive after all, and I've had him since I was ten.'
The interior of the duplex was nice. His half was large, almost too large. Like it had its own kitchen, ensuite bathroom, two guest rooms, and a basement kind of large. 'What the heck am I supposed to do with all this space?' Ron thought to himself. Then an idea came to him, Taking out his Ron-municator he called up the one boy genius he knew that might be able to help him make the best use of this space.
"Go for Wade," Wade Load said as he answered the call.
"Hey Wade," Ron said, happy to hear from his young friend.
Wade waved, "Ron, did you make it to Jump City okay? Wait what am I saying? The Ron-municator says you are at the proper address and your vitals are fine."
"Wade… are you tracking me and my vitals using this thing?" Ron asked, concerned he was being spied on constantly.
Wade sheepishly replied, "Kinda? I mean you do tend to get in trouble a lot Ron, and Kim and I, we're just worried… Nice job taking on Cinderblock earlier by the way. Didn't know you had such smooth moves."
"How do you… You hacked the CCTV cams didn't you?" Ron deadpanned.
"CCTV, Traffic cams, people's cell phone cameras. You were so cool Ron, saving Starfire of the Teen Titan's like that."
Rubbing the back of his flush neck the blonde replied, "Heh, it was nothing really… To be honest, Technomancer, I didn't see an alien princess Xena… I saw… Kim. And before I realized it, I just… reacted."
"Oh… OH!" Wade said, eyes widening in understanding. "I get it man…" He smirked before adding, "Someones got a type huh?"
Ron played clueless, it was the only other skill he'd mastered besides procrastination, "Whaddya mean?"
"Green eyed redhead who knows how to fight? C'mon Ron, it's me. I'm not gonna tell Kim," Wade promised, putting his hand over his heart. "You can admit it, you Amazon Chaser you,"
Ron scoffed, with his hands in his pockets, "Yeah that's the thing though Wade, all the Amazons want Hercules, and I ain't Hercules. So amazons like Kim and Starfire are out of my league dude."
"I wouldn't be too sure about that…" Wade told him knowingly before asking, "Why'd you call anyway not that it's not nice to hear you made it safely and all."
He'd gotten so caught up in the conversation, he'd nearly forgotten, "Right, well, my folks bought a duplex and my dad said I could have the other half rather than renting it out but I don't know what to do with all the space. Any ideas?"
"Pulling up the blueprints now…" Wade said before he whistled, "Wow, this is a decently sized place Ron it's a ten thousand square foot house that has been split straight down the middle with added walls. So you've got five thousand square feet to work with. Yeah no wonder you called me. Right, so I'm assuming you've got your room set up?"
"Yeah, the room is huge cause it's a master suite," Ron replied, as he gave Wade a video grand tour. Spanning the Ron-municator around the room, showing off all the off white walls that had inset shelves on one wall and a seat near the window for reading or something while the closet was a giant sliding mirror that he could put all his stuff in, and the floor was wood. Poking his head in the bathroom he noted it was full of fake tile on the floor, with a nice shower-tub combo. A small round sink sat in front of a square mirror that opened into a medicine cabinet.
Again Wade whistled, "Wow, nice digs," He then added, "You need a bigger bed,"
"Why?" Ron asked.
"Ron, your normal bed looks dinky in a room that big. Like you're sleeping in a cot," Wade told him, "Don't worry I'll take care of it, show me the rest of the place?"
Ron did so, showing him the guest rooms, the kitchen, living room, two bathrooms, and basement.
"You could do a lot with a basement this big," Wade noted, seeing the large empty space. "You could turn it into a gym, workshop, or a server farm."
"Server Farm? What would I have, electric cows?" Ron inquired.
Wade shook his head, "No Ron, a server farm is a place where multiple servers are set up to provide internet service," the pre-teen genius explained.
"Oh… well why a workshop?" the blonde asked.
"In case you wanted to tinker or build some stuff," Wade reasoned, "I think you might have the talent for it, if you just apply yourself."
Thinking back to what Raven said to him earlier, Ronald Dean Stoppable decided to actually try for once. "You know what Wade, let's do it!"
"Which idea?" the boy genius asked.
"All three… also um… if it's not too much to ask Wade?"
"Yeah, what's up Ron?"
"Could you maybe tutor me?" Ron asked. "Usually KP and I would study together, but now I'm on my own and I don't know if I can make it without help… so help, please?"
"Sure Ron. Ironically enough I live out there near Jump City. You might have met a cousin of mine earlier. Genius runs in the family after all,"
"Cousin? Who would? Wait …No. Wade, are you related to Cyborg," asked a bewildered Ron.
"His dad is my mom's brother. We are cousins. We don't talk much since he ran away from home but hey. I still keep an eye on him."
"Wow…" Ron said, shaking his head, "What's next? We're gonna find out Kim is somehow related to Wonder Woman?"
Wade opened his mouth… then closed it and hummed in thought. "You don't think?"
"Dude, it was a joke! Kim is more likely to be related to Superman than Wonder Woman," Ron let the awkward moment pass before he asked, "So what do we need first, and uhh, how do you want me to pay you for all this, plus what's your going rate for tutoring?"
"Ron, I'm not gonna charge you for any of this, you're my friend," Wade emphasized. "Did I ever tell you why I rarely if ever leave my room?" When the older boy shook his head, he elaborated, "It's because when I was young…er, I was constantly hounded by reporters and bullied by my classmates for being so smart. The media attention got so bad, we moved. I thought I wouldn't be able to have friends… until I answered a help wanted ad for admining a new website that popped up."
"I placed that ad," Ron said, smiling a little.
Wade nodded, "I know, and that's why you're not paying for anything, I got you man."
Ron smiled, "Thanks, you rock Wade."
"Yep, first off, a bigger bed. Secondly, some weights. Nothing too fancy but enough for you to keep in shape. A standard workbench and tools, and lastly a nice computer and simple server… and done! It should all be here in a couple of days, thank you Amazon Prime."
"Amen, and thanks Wade."
"No problem dude, I'll let you finish getting settled in. If you see my cousin, tell him I said hi?" Wade requested.
"Can do, later dude."
Ron hung up and headed back upstairs.
(...)
The green bird of prey alighted on the roof of Titans Tower only to morph back into the green changeling who stretched before making his way downstairs via the elevator. Coming to the common room, he found Star, Rae, and Cy hanging out on their semi-circle couch in front of their flat screen. "Yo dudes, what'd I miss?"
"Hey string bean, where'd you get off too?" Cy greeted with a wave as BB launched himself over the couch and landed between him and Raven.
"Had to do Star a solid," The shifter replied.
"Do me a solid what, Friend Beast Boy?" The Tamarianian asked. "I see nothing in your hands."
"No Star that means doing you a favor… I found out where Ron Stoppable is staying, so we can invite him over sometime."
"You did? Glorious! Thank you so much, Friend Beast Boy!" She gave him a hug that would've killed him if he wasn't able to displace his bones.
"You're…Welcome… Star!" BB said, patting her back only to be encased in black energy and gently removed from the princess' grasp.
"Too hard Star," Raven told her, as she placed a hand on the greenling and proceeded to remove his pain, only for him to hold out a hand, "I'm good Rae, thanks though."
"Are you sure, I'm pretty sure I heard some popping and cracking," She said with a hint of worry flecking her monotone.
"I'm fine," He assured her.
Starfire fretted, "I did not harm you, did I Friend Beast Boy?"
The changeling just gave her a toothy grin, "Nah, I'm made of sterner stuff than that Star. Heck I've been shot, stabbed, set on fire, poisoned… a lot of messed up things happened to me when I was in the Doom Patrol," He finished lamely as he saw how everyone was staring at him in horror and fear.
"Man, how are you still alive? How did your parents let you get into such a dangerous profession? I mean I ran away from home but still," asked Cyborg in honest confusion. He wondered how much trouble his little buddy had gotten in.
"Umm… my parents passed away when I was young, about seven actually. I didn't have any close relatives but an Aunt but I couldn't contact her because I was stranded in Africa. I never thought of contacting her after the Doom Patrol took me in. I wonder what Aunt Amy is doing now?"
Raven could sense the changeling was being dishonest about something, but decided not to question him about that, instead saying, "Have you thought about contacting her? Your Aunt I mean?"
Beast Boy ran a hand through his grass green hair… "I dunno… I mean I'm green! I wasn't like this when I left… she might be repulsed by me, like most people."
"What do you mean Friend Beast Boy? You are handsome in your own way," Starfire complimented.
"Thanks Star but… my hearing is better than most people give me credit for," He said wiggling his elven ears playfully, "Most people in the city think I'm a freak, some have even called me the 'pet' of the Teen Titans."
"What?!" Raven hissed and for a brief second, she had two sets of crimson eyes. "Who? Are. They?" She demanded.
"Rae, chill I'm used to being considered a freak," He soothed holding his hands out to her calmingly.
"BB… that doesn't make it okay man," Cyborg said, sickened with the people that he put his life on the line for regularly. "If you're a freak then so am I."
"Actually, people just assume for the most part that you're a part of some transhumanism movement Cy."
Cyborg's jaw dropped, "You're kidding me?"
The greenling shook his head. "It's made you super popular in certain circles, especially with motorheads. Hell one dude named MotorEd is very vocal in his support for you. Also any fan of warhammer believes you are a living adeptus mechanicus."
"And I? Surely they think I'm strange, yes?" Starfire asked.
Beast Boy scoffed. "Are you kidding me? People think you're a supermodel with powers to match. Most crowds your around, the guys whisper about wanting to well,"
He trailed off prompting the princess to motion him to continue, "Yes?"
"They wanna do.. Adult things with you because they find you physically attractive Star."
Starfire sniffed imperiously, "I am not my sister, I do not do the Sneglaf Norfgla with just anyone."
Now calmer but breathing heavily Raven said, "I'm probably going to regret this, but what about me?"
"I plead the fifth," the ex-Doom Patroller replied hastily.
"Beast Boy," She said with her 'don't make me throw you in another dimension' tone of voice.
"It's pretty much the same as Star but everyone just thinks you're a goth that doesn't get enough sun," He replied quickly. As, while she'd never actually followed through on the threat he didn't want to push her.
"I figured as much," She placed her hand on his shoulder, "You are not a pet. You are our friend, understand?"
"Yeah BB, I mean I may pick on you about the whole vegetarian thing but you know I'm just kidding right?" Cy said as he ruffled his hair goodnaturedly.
"Yeah, just like how I rib you about eating ribs," BB nodded. "There's also a psychological reason for me not to eat meat."
"Psychological?" This was news to Cyborg.
"Yeah… And what kind of animals eat meat Cy?"
"Predators," Cyborg answered, it was an answer a first grade child knew, much less a genius like him.
"Yes and what kind of instincts would become prevalent in me if I started eating meat? Moreover, what is the biggest, most abundant form of prey available to me if I thought as a predator would?"
It took a moment for it to click but once it did, Cyborg asked, "BB, are you telling me you don't eat meat to ward off what are essentially murderous cannibalistic impulses?"
"Yeah… I figured the whole, 'I feel like I'm committing auto-cannibalism' was less freaky than the whole 'It could cause a murderous psychotic break' would be… Now that I think about it, both are kind of terrible," He mused aloud.
"Beast Boy," Raven said in a tone that would brook no arguments, "I want you to start joining myself and Starfire in meditation sessions."
"Umm yeah sure Rae but…" He tried to interject.
"No buts, this is for your own good!" The cambion told him.
Cyborg nodded, "Yeah and I'll look into some medication for you that might help, I mean we might be put into situations where you might have to eat meat as a means of survival at some point."
"That's kind of you Cy but-"
"No buts!" Raven told him sharply, getting into his personal space a bit. "You are going to let us help you understand?"
"Sure Rae… thanks?" He replied.
"Good," Turning to the princess she said, " I'm afraid we're going to have to postpone Xena Star, I… need to meditate."
Starfire nodded, "I understand Friend Raven."
"I'm gonna go look up some meds that may help… and maybe trash some transhumanism forums while I'm at it," Cy said, cracking his mechanical knuckles.
Running a gloved hand through his hair, Beast Boy sighed, "Well that happened," Looking at the princess he apologized ruefully, "Sorry Star, I didn't mean to ruin TV night."
Beast Boy found himself being hugged. "Don't apologize, Friend Beast Boy…" Pulling back she asked, "Will you be the Ok?"
The verdant teen nodded, "Like I kept trying to tell Cy and Rae, I already know how to meditate, and me choosing not to eat meat is my form of self medicating. I mean, it's sweet they care, but this is a bit much."
"They are just worried about you, Friend Beast Boy, I am the concerned as well. Have you been shot? Burned? Even poisoned? I hazard to guess what would've become of me had I been successfully transferred to the Citadel, but you seem to have gone through much of it regardless…" She paused before adding, "Is that why you wear the suit? Do you have many battle scars?"
Beast Boy shook his head as he took off a glove showing green skin and even fingernails. "Nope everytime I shapeshift my body goes back to a pristine state. I can heal from basically anything. Cut off my arm? I can grow it back. Set me on fire? I'm good. Poison me? One shift later and I'm good, no matter how much blood I was vomiting just a few seconds ago," As he spoke his voice grew lower and his gaze seemed further away.
"Friend Beast Boy? Friend Beast Boy, are you well?" Starfire asked worriedly.
"He seems to be suffering from PTSD," Raven said in her monotone as she walked from behind the couch. "I came back for tea and heard… all that," She sat down next to the changeling and carefully covered him with her cloak. That seemed to jolt him awake.
"Ah… Is everything okay? Rae, when did you get here?" He asked, noting the cloak around his shoulders.
"A little bit ago. Beast Boy, have you ever… gotten lost in bad memories?" Raven asked, "Do you know what today's date and time are?"
"Yeah, it's Monday, August 18th, 2003, about 5:00 pm in the afternoon, why?" The teen asked.
Raven replied, "You had the thousand yard stare for a minute there. You know, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?"
"Ah… yeah that doesn't happen as long as I don't think about… certain things."
"Friend Beast Boy had what is known on my planet as Kenef'na'e. Warrior's Fog would be the closest approximation. Warriors who get lost in the memories of previous battles are known to suffer from the Warriors Fog. My own caretaker would go into the fog when he thought about some of the enemies they had to repel from our planet."
"Essentially the same thing, cultural differences notwithstanding," Raven nodded. "How long has this been going on?"
"Pff, too long," The changeling scoffed. "But I'm used to it, I know how to deal, don't worry."
Raven thought back to the day the Titans were formed, how Beast Boy acted and she realized to her horror, that beast boy was… is, a child soldier. 'Azurath, why didn't I see it? I'm an empath but I didn't pick up on it… wait, I'm not picking up on anything right now even though we're having such a serious conversation… Has Beast Boy been shielding his mind from me so completely this entire time?' She wondered. "Beast Boy?"
"Hmm?"
"Who taught you how to shield your thoughts so well?" Raven asked innocently. For the first time she felt his thoughts tremble, and she knew she was dealing with a very well crafted facade. Which also meant she didn't know the real Beast Boy behind the mask at all.
"That would be my… stepdad Mento," The greenling said with distaste, "He really drilled into me that I had to be able to guard my thoughts from mental probes. My stepmom, Rita, helped. She was an actress and was a good teacher."
"Friend Beast Boy?" Starfire asked hesitantly.
"Yeah Star?"
"Are you faking your emotions now?" She shook her head, unable to convey her thought properly and tried again, "No, rather, what I mean to say is, have you been faking your personality, our friendship, this entire time?"
Taking to his feet, the changeling said, "This has been an emotionally draining conversation ladies, I… need a nap."
As he made for the door, Raven called out, "Beast Boy!" He paused in front of the open sliding door, prompting her to ask, "You didn't answer Starfire's question."
"That's the thing Rae, I don't even know if I'm wearing a mask anymore or not. If you'll excuse me dudettes."
He left without another word, worrying the two Heroines.
"Friend Raven, I think I may need to join you in the act of mediation," Starfire said gravely.
"I'll put the tea on," The cambian replied, sighing as her mind raced with worried thoughts of the green changeling. And whether or not his own demons were very much real….. Like her own.
(...)
It took the rest of the week to get the new Stoppable house in order. They had to buy new furniture having sold their old house with a majority of their living room furniture and all of their old appliances. Ron had to shop for things for his kitchen. Including a fridge, decent oven and other things. He also bought a dresser, some nice furniture for his living room, and a ''32 Flat screen at the local Smarty Mart.
A portly redheaded teen with a face full of acne scanned the electronics at the checkout counter. "Thank you for shopping at Smarty Mart, did you find everything you needed today?"
"Yes I did, thank you… Kevin," Ron replied, taking a moment to read his nametag.
"Kevin Fryke. You new in town? I know most of the regulars," He said, making conversation easily as he scanned the items, proving he was an old hat at this.
"Yeah we just moved into a duplex a week ago, it's pretty baddical."
The teen pointed a finger at him, "You look familiar… you've been on TV before… Ron Stoppable Kim Possible's partner right?"
'Seriously, how does everyone except our rogues know my name?' Ron wondered. "Yeah that's me."
"That's cool man, you are an inspiration for heroes and villains alike. It helps to have a man like you being a hero. Shows that not all of us have to have bulking muscles or looking conventionally handsome. By any chance could you put me in touch with mission control?"
"Oh you mean Wade. I don't see a problem with it. What did you need to touch base on? I am not as connected as Kim but I know a few people. I mean mad respect working at Smarty Mart."
"I dabble in tech in my pastime. If you are open later we can meet up. I usually have a side business I do outside of working here. Job hours can be rough but pay is good and the employee discount is life saving."
"I bet," Ron agreed, writing Wade's number and handing it to Kevin. "It was nice talking to you Kev, seeya around sometime man."
"Yeah you too, seeya Ron. Don't be a stranger," The teen replied, pocketing the number as he helped the next person in the checkout line. It was nice to make friends that he can hang out with in public and not get accosted by the cops.
(...)
Ron gulped nervously as he hoisted his backpack more comfortably on his shoulders. 'This is it,' He thought to himself, 'The most dangerous thing I've ever done…' He nervously headed into Jump City High School… with no Kim in sight.
Making his way to the front office he was met by a kind lady who smiled at him. "Hello young man, can I help you?"
"Yes I'm Ron, Ron Stoppable? I'm a new transfer?" He said politely.
She nodded and did some searching on her computer. "Ah, here you are. Ronald Dean Stoppable. Transferring from Middleton Colorado? My goodness, is it as cold as they say there?"
"We get about fifteen inches of snow on average every year ma'am," Ron replied, choosing not to tell her about the army of giant mutant snowmen that showed up that one year.
"Oh my no thank you!" She said, rubbing her arms at the very thought of snow. "Californian born and raised, anything even approaching forty degrees is too cold for me."
Ron laughed, "No wonder some people think you guys are all lizard people."
She let out a fake gasp. "You know too much! You must be silenced!" She playfully poked at him with her pen, prompting Ron to play dead. "Gah, no! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, no! What a world!"
The secretary laughed, "You have quite a sense of humor Ron. Oh, do you prefer Ron or Ronald?"
"Ron's fine Miss… Perkins?" he asked while reading her nameplate.
"Yes, Sally-Anne Perkins but you can just call me Miss Perkins," She said, smiling at him kindly.
The master of Mystical Monkey Power nodded, "Right, well where do I go for my first class?"
"Well you're in luck Ron, you share the same schedule as one of our star students. If you just wait here for a second, I'll call them down, and you can shadow them for the day."
"Ok,"
"Rose Wilson to the front desk please? Rose Wilson to the front desk please," Miss Perkins spoke into an intercom.
'A girl, aww man, how much you wanna bet she's the Most Popular Girl In School?' Ron asked himself. 'Wait, this is 'me' we're talking about, not a rom-com, there's no way the popular girl would be called down to help the new guy. That's a cliche,' He laughed to himself.
"What's so funny Ron?" The secretary asked.
"Oh nothing, just thinking if this were a comic, this would be the part where the pretty popular girl shows up to help the awkward new guy in school. But the real world doesn't work like that."
Chuckling herself, Miss Perkins replied, "Well, when you put it like that, it is pretty funny," she said.
"I know right?" Ron said relieved because there was no way something like that could happen to him of all people in real life.
"But, as it just so happens," Miss Perkins continued. As she nodded out the window a white haired girl in a prim and proper vest, skirt, and black tights combo walked past the window before opening the door to the office proper.
"You called for me Miss Perkins?" She replied calmly.
"Yes Rose. Could you be a dear and show our new student, Ron Stoppable around for a day or two? You two just so happen to have the same schedule, and it would be a big help."
Rose turned to face him fully, and Ron noticed one of her eyes covered by a simple black eyepatch. He didn't stare nor did he comment on it. Instead, he stood and offered her his hand. "Ron Stoppable nice to meet you,"
Rose smiled, then flushed a little bit, "Nice to meet you too Ron, I see you prefer briefs over boxers."
Without looking Ron sighed and deadpanned in a voice of a man that had seen this hundreds of times before, "My pants fell down when I stood up didn't they?"
"So perfectly I'd almost swear you planned it," Rose replied.
"You would think but no matter what I do my pants fall, get ripped off, or even somehow disintegrate. One time I was practicing with a bo staff. Perfected it and somehow my pants got ripped off while practicing. Hop a fence. Lose my pants. Bake a cake. Lose my pants. The only time I don't lose my pants is eating Mexican food. Only Mexican food. I guess you could say my superpower is losing my pants. Some people win the lottery like Superman and I lose my pants."
Rose smiled a kind smile while Miss Perkins giggled into her hand at the sheer amount of circumstances the new student had gone through in losing his pants.
"So by that logic, your kryptonite would be a well made belt?" Rose asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes," Ron continued in his dry humor, "Like I said, lame superpower huh?"
"I've heard of worse. Like Animal-Plant-Mineral Man," Rose replied as she reached down and hiked his pants back up like it was no big deal.
"Isn't he kinda scary though?" Ron rebutted as he held open the door for her and gave a silent wave to the secretary. "I mean he can become any animal, along with any poisonous plant, and any mineral… some of which are even more poisonous than the plants. Like Uraninite,"
"That's… very true," Rose acquiesced after a moment of thought. "You know your radioactive metals… should I be concerned?"
"No, it's just one of my former villains named Shego, liked to glow green. Comes with the territory. After meeting her for the first time, I checked any available radiation sources. It wasn't til later I found out she had plasma based powers. Of course I do have a friendly relationship with the CEO of Henchco. He mentioned some of the more radioactive materials in testing. Apparently he really hates how Lexcorp doesn't properly label radioactive material in their products or weapons. Did you know kryptonite is radioactive to humans too? Causes Super Space Cancer apparently."
"I did not, but thanks for the heads up," Rose told him as she thought to herself, 'Note to self, get rid of Kryptonite weapons when I get home… or at least have Wintergreen move them to a lead lined storage container.' She continued, "So you're a superhero?"
"Sidekick though people have been calling me partner lately. To Kim Possible. Maybe you heard of her?"
"Ah," Rose nodded, "Yeah she primarily fights the C-listers. People who could be dangerous but more often than not aren't. Yet are they more dangerous than a common thug?" Rose asked.
"A bit harsh, but not incorrect," Ron said, wincing a bit at her description of Kim's rogue gallery. Who in comparison to Lex Luthor, The Joker, or even Reverse Flash just weren't that dangerous. Maybe that was why the league never intervened with any of Kim's villains and most had short jail time.
"The irony is that I have caused more of our rogues gallery than Kim has."
"You have more of a personal rogues gallery than Kim Possible? No offense," Rose said.
"None taken, I know, it's sick and wrong! It's wrong sick… but it's true, I swear! Let's see I inadvertently created Gill by causing him to mutate into a swamp monster. I gave the idea to Señor Senior, Senior and Junior to be villains. I actually helped convince pro wrestlers to defeat a man empowered by the god Anubis, anything to do with ninjas, don't ask about that, top secret stuff, and while Drakken doesn't remember my name his head sidekick Shego actually does recognize me as a problem."
"You have bad luck when it comes to villain origin stories don't you?" Rose noted.
"You have no idea," Ron said slumping over before he asked in a hope filled tone, "What's our first class? Home ec?"
"No, Trig, why?"
"No… Yahweh no… Not trigonometry!" Ron said, freaking out.
"Trig, Pheww!" Rufus said, poking his head out of Ron's pocket to blow a raspberry.
Seeing him, Rose asked, "Is that a naked mole rat?"
Seeing his little friend had woken up from his nap, Ron nodded, "Yeah that's Rufus. Keep the fact he's in my pocket on the down low okay?"
"Sure," kneeling down Rose waved at him, "Hi Rufus."
"Sup?" He said, giving her a thumbs up.
Cocking her head to the side, Rose said, "I can almost swear he's talking."
Ron chuckled, "He is super smart like that… Help me survive the torture that is Trig?"
"On two conditions," Rose replied, "One that you at least try and pay attention and answer the questions, and two you sit with me at lunch and let me hold Rufus."
"That's three things," Ron pointed out.
"The second thing had an addendum. Now, what'll it be?" Rose replied as she stopped outside a door.
Ron looked to Rufus, after all, he was the one she was asking to hold. Seeing the hairless mammal give a thumbs up, Ron nodded, "Okay."
"Excellent," Rose replied with a smile as she led the way into the first class of the morning. She seemingly didn't notice all the glares being sent his way by both the boys and girls in the classroom, but Ron sure as hell did as he sat down right beside her having to scoot closer so they could share a textbook. 'Oh boy,' He thought as the first spitball hit him in the back of the head the moment he sat down. 'What did I get myself into?'
(...)
After shrugging off the fifth or so intentional shoulder check on his way to lunch, Ron was happy for all the exercise he'd gotten from going on missions with Kim. 'I mean I know it kept me in shape but I can't feel it all that much, and some of these dudes are twice my height,' Ron noted the glares he was being sent as they passed.
"This is getting ridiculous," Rose said, as she sent the jock a glare sending them scurrying off. "What on earth is everyone's problem today? Are they just hazing you because you're the new guy or what?" Seeing Ron's incredulous look, she asked, "What?" She pulled him out of the way of smacking himself in the iron bar set between a pair of double doors as he did so. "What is it Ron?"
"There's seriously no way you can't understand what's going on," Ron said, "It's like, obvious."
"What is? I don't understand," Rose said honestly.
"The food chain? The pecking order? The social norms of highschool?" Ron said, seeing she wasn't getting it he sighed, "You really don't get it do you, RW?"
"RW?"
"Sorry it was a thing I did with my old friend Kim, I always called her by her initials. No bueno?" Ron asked.
"Kim Possible… it's not terrible but that's something special between you and someone you've known for a very long time Ron, I'd hate to take over something special like that."
Ron nodded, she had a good point, "Yeah, good call Rosie."
This earned a vibrant smile from the girl who felt glad to be included by someone else. "That's the ticket,"
"How's the Salsbury Steak?" Ron muttered.
"Terrible, like old shoe leather covered in gravy and the potatoes are fake, get the pizza," Rose muttered back.
"Gottcha, nice save," Ron said before he placed his order.
Copying him verbatim, Rose and Ron sat down at a circular table in the middle of the cafeteria that everyone was avoiding like it had the plague. "Why was no one sitting here?"
"I always sit here, and eat alone… it's part of the reason I'm glad we met. I finally have someone to talk to," Rose said happily. "The boys avoid me and most of the girls seem to find me intimidating so I've been by myself till now."
"Oh you sweet summer child, that's not what's going on at all," Ron said, shaking his head at her obliviousness.
"Then praytell what is going on oh wise guru of school social norms? Care to enlighten this ignorant one?"
Ron nodded, and told her sagely, "Schools like countries, have a social structure. At the top is the Queen, the perfect model student, who everyone else aspires to be. He or she is pretty, smart, athletic, popular, all that jazz. Beneath that person are the cheerleaders and the jocks though the two positions aren't mutually exclusive. Think of them like nobility. Under them are the cool kids, merchants basically. Under them are normies, the serfs. Beneath them are the losers, the kids in AV, Chess, and Science clubs. They are the slave class."
"It's amazing that you just compared high school to medieval europe, but do go on what does this have to do with me?"
"Rosie… who do you think occupies the position of 'Queen' in this school?" Ron questioned.
She pointed at herself in utter disbelief, "Me? Don't be ridiculous! I…I went to a boarding school before coming here!"
"That just adds to the perfect girl mystique," Ron told her.
"I'm missing an eye Ron," She said as she brushed a hand over her eyepatch, "I'm… disfigured. How can anyone see me as… pretty?"
If there was one thing Ron understood, it was self confidence issues. "Hey hey hey Rosie! You look great! Like the Ronman always says, never be normal! It's overrated. Right Rufus?"
The molerat made his way out of Ron's pocket and skittered across the table making his way into Rose's waiting hands before he said, "Totally!"
"Wait, I wasn't hallucinating. He can really talk? Ron thank you and Rufus but where did you find him? Animals don't usually talk on this level?"
Rufus just nodded along showing he was competent at understanding speech too. Rose was a little wary that this may be a Gorilla Grodd situation and Ron accidentally adopted a super intelligent mole-rat with their own underground civilization. Those are oddly common in the villain community.
"Oh I got him at Smarty Mart aisle fifteen because my dad has allergies to most pets. I will fully admit he and I have been experimented on quite a few times. He also became bestowed with mystical monkey power, had his intelligence increased, and wore a muscle stimulating power ring from Hench Co as a belt,"
Rufu flexed his arm showing that the side effects left him slightly buff. Rose was tempted to ask Wintergreen to get a naked mole rat for herself if they were this smart without experimentation and even smarter with it.
"But as for the eyepatch that not only also adds to the mystique but also hints you have some kind of tragic backstory. One that I'm not going to ask about because it's none of my business." Ron said before he downed half of his pizza in one large bite.
"But I might not, I might've just tripped and accidentally gouged out my eye on a stick when I was young or something?!" Rose reasoned.
"Did you?" Ron asked after he swallowed.
Rose thought back to the real reason as to how she lost her eye. 'Just like you dad! Now I'm just like you!' She shook away the memory of her own psychotic voice as she replied, "No,"
"Hence why everyone is thinking you have a tragic backstory," Ron told her.
"I still don't understand why no one has approached me and are treating you like… something unpleasant they stepped in?"
"It goes back to the social hierarchy thing. The Jocks see you as someone only they are worthy of dating. The cheerleaders and popular girls kinda hate you for making the jocks ignore them, and all the other girls look up to you as a being of incorruptible pure pureness."
"But I'm not any of those things? Or doing anything to give off such impressions… am I?"
"You're super helpful and kind to everyone regardless of their social status, even the teachers love you, and despite not wearing the latest brands or fashions you always look amazing in whatever you wear," Ron ticked off. "How far off am I?"
"But… But I was just being myself!" Rose complained as she slumped in her chair.
"And that makes you all the more amazing to everyone here, it wasn't an act, it wasn't fake, it was genuine."
"Okay, I can get that I suppose… So why do they seem to despise you? You never elaborated."
"Same reason they love you. Pecking Order. I'm new. I don't fit in with any cliques and I'm palling around with her majesty on the first day? New kid is trying to rise above his station from sub slave to queen consort. The Jocks see me as a loser who needs to piss off, the popular girls and cheerleaders even if they don't like you don't want someone like me being around a popular girl like you, it's considered taboo, and all the other girls are afraid I'll corrupt your pure pureness if I hang around too long."
"Please don't call me that," Rose requested, it made her skin crawl. "Also unlike them you actually made an effort to talk to me. You know, like a human being? That counts for a lot," She said, reaching over and taking his hand as she smiled at him, "I mean it Ron, you are the first person I can consider a friend since I came here."
"Right back atcha Rosie" the blonde replied.
"YEAH! CABFF!" Rufus squeaked.
"Translation?" Rose asked.
"California Best Friend Forever." Ron replied, "Cause KP is my OG BFF."
Rose smiled. "I can work with that," She raised her milk carton, "To new friends?"
Raising his own chocolate milk carton, "To new amigos! Booya!"
The two bumped cartons and this was the start of a beautiful friendship.
(...)
As Ron was getting prepared to go to the bus ramp he was interrupted by the intercom, "Could a Ronald Stoppable come to the front office please. Could Ronald Stoppable come to the front office please."
Ron wondered what happened on the first day of school but went towards the front office. He saw Miss Perkins at her desk so he walked over to her, "Good Afternoon Miss Perkins whatcha need me for?"
"Oh hello Ronald. It isn't nothing much. I am just letting you know that your ride is here to pick you up."
Ron was confused, "Ride? I ride the bus home. Who's here to pick me up?"
Miss Perkins gave a casual wave, "Oh you might know him. He is a local celebrity after all. Our very own Cyborg."
Ron heard some honking. He turned and smiled seeing Cyborg honking from the T-Car.
Seeing the ride, Ron whistled giving the woman a polite goodbye as he made his way outside as he admired the car. "Sweet ride dude," Ron complimented as he approached.
Getting out the cybernetic titan said, "Thanks, Raven and I built her from scratch."
"I'd slide across the hood, but I value my life." Ron joked.
"Haha, yeah don't do that," Cyborg told him.
"I will resist the urge," Ron replied as he got in the passenger seat.
Getting behind the wheel, Cyborg drove off heading towards Titans Tower.
"Umm question?" Ron asked as he gripped the armrest tightly due to how fast Cyborg was driving, "How do you get a car from an island on a lake to the streets?"
"Ah, you really are new here huh?" Cyborg said grinning at the thought of getting to show off a bit before his cybernetic eye flashed red twice.
In response a bridge began to rise from the lake connecting the small island to the city's mainland. "Okay… that's pretty baddical," Ron said as they drove over the bridge and into the waiting garage where the T-car came to a drifting stop in a waiting parking space.
"Booya, nailed it," Cy said before he got out. Noting Ron wasn't moving, he poked his head in and asked, "You coming man?"
"Y-Yeah, yep, just need a minute." Ron replied, "Pretty sure I saw my life flash in front of my eyes at least twice on the way over here. Both times when you ran those red lights. Aren't you supposed to be a hero? Shouldn't you be obeying traffic laws?"
Cyborg rubbed the back of his head, having the decency to look embarrassed, "You… you got me, there. I guess I just wanted to show off a tad, make a good impression."
"Dude, you've got a sonic cannon for an arm, superstrength, and built a car worthy of James Bond. You're good. Also, your cousin Wade Load says hi."
"You know Lil Wade? How's he doin'?" Cy asked, surprised to get a message from his little cousin.
"Good, but he wishes you'd keep in touch. Though Wade being… Wade, he has his own ways of keeping an eye on you if you know what I mean?" Ron replied as he nodded at the surveillance camera in the garage.
Cy looked at the camera and gave it an experimental wave. In response, the camera swiveled up and down as if nodding at him.
"That little nerd, he hacked my system," Cyborg grumbled goodnaturedly before he put an arm over Ron's shoulder and said, "Well any friend of Wade is cool with me! C'mon, I'll give you the grand tour. Since I helped build this place an all,"
Ron found himself being given the grand tour of Titans Tower, from the garage on the bottom floor, to the Gym on the second floor, the Vault on the third where they kept things like tech and weapons that belonged to their enemies that were too dangerous to be kept in police custody.
Cy let Ron look around the Vault, as long as he promised not to touch anything.
Seeing a humanoid looking shape being pressed in-between two blocks of steel, Ron asked, "Dude, what's that?"
Cy grimaced, "Ah that… its… A stupid mistake Rob made. A real dumb one and it cost him too."
Ron knew a thing or two about dumb mistakes, so he asked. "Oh, so he lost his pants during a fight and ran around the enemy base in his drawers looking for the self-destruct button too?"
"What? No… Ron, has that happened to you?" Cy asked, resisting the urge to laugh at his expense.
"Often enough that I'm comfortable with it. I shouldn't be, but I am," Ron sighed.
Cyborg scratched his head, perplexed by his admission. "Well that didn't happen to Rob… Nah what he did was worse," Cyborg went over to the metal case and Ron noted he put in the code R3B1N. Then with a pneumatic hiss of air, the locks and seals disengaged revealing a black red and gray themed suit. The helmet was skull themed with a red X going horizontally across the right eye, and a similar mark was on the chest. The gloves, boots and belt were also ash gray.
"This is, was, Red X. He was a thief, he had a suit that could disable all of us easily. He stole advanced computer chips and presented them to a guy named Slade… a villain who isn't around anymore. Only it turned out to be Robin under that helmet. He lied to us because he didn't trust us. Now… we aren't entirely sure if we can trust him either."
"Oof, that's harsh." Ron noted.
"Us or him?" Cy asked as he resealed the suit.
"Him, he's the leader but he didn't trust his team? How did he not expect this to blow up in his face?" Ron wondered. Sure, KP may be a bit selfish when she had a crush, but she always had his back when the chips were down, and she never outright lied to him.
"Yeah it is," Cy agreed. "Anyway, ready to go meet the others?"
"Sure dude," Ron replied, "Thanks for showing me all this, it was really cool."
Cy grinned, "Anytime man. Now c'mon, Star's been dyin' to see you again,"
'No pressure,' Ron thought to himself nervously as he got into the elevator.
(...)
"Friend Ron!" Starfire greeted giving him one of her infamous 'death hugs'.
"Hi Star, how've you been?" Ron wheezed out with what little air was left in his lungs.
Letting him go, the Tamaranian replied, "I have been well, Friend Ron, and yourself? Have you been settling in well? I believe the saying is?"
"Yes, and yes I have thanks for asking. Had my first day of school today. It was… not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I even made a friend… I think?"
Starfire grabbed his hands while floating a couple of inches off the ground and dragged him into the living room saying, "That is glorious to hear my friend! Perhaps next time you can invite them along also?"
"Uh maybe? I'll ask." Ron promised. Seeing all kinds of snacks laid out near the couch Ron asked, "Am I interrupting something?"
"Interrupting? Dude, you're the guest of honor!" BB greeted his fellow jokester. "Star insisted on throwing you a welcome party."
"Oh geez, thanks Star, that's totally awesome of you." Ron said feeling touched and a tad shy. "If I'd have known, I'd have brought something… something kosher."
"Dude, your Jewish?" BB was freaking out.
"Yes… is that a problem?" Ron asked Beast Boy didn't seem the type that was anti-semetic but one never knew.
"CY!" The green teen yelled into the kitchen frantically while waving his arms, "Ron's Jewish! Is all the stuff we put out kosher?! Can he even eat this stuff?! Gah we totally screwed up didn't we?"
"Aww man, so is that a no go on the pork ribs?" Cy called. "I've been cookin' 'em for eight hours. In a mustard base."
"Uhh guys?" Ron called, "I'm a lax Jew, you're fine. It is just proper for a guest to bring an offering. Even if it is unplanned. How about I treat you guys to Bueuno Nacho later? My treat."
"Oh man, I never thought I'd say this but thank God for non-serious religious folk," Beast Boy sighed.
"Amen, I almost threw out my ribs," Cy replied with a loud sigh from the kitchen. "Speakin' of, you sure your okay with this BB?"
Sighing the changeling said, "I told you already Cy, its fine,"
"Ok, just checking man."
Ron looked at the floating alien questioningly and she said quietly, "We've recently discovered Friend Beast Boy has certain impulses when he is around meat. We offered to not eat it around him anymore but he did not think it was the fair."
"Because it wouldn't be Star!" Beast Boy called from the kitchen. "Also, enhanced hearing, remember?"
The alien looked like a kid with her hand caught in the cookie jar. "So he does, and it is much keener than I assumed."
"Love you too Star!" BB called, a teasing chuckle in his tone.
The Tamarianian rolled her eyes but smiled warmly. "You are akin to family to me as well, Friend Beast Boy."
Ron just smiled at the exchange. It was clear the titans were more than just friends; they were their own little odd family.
"Hello Ron," A monotone voice greeted.
"Sup Raven, incense treating you well? You didn't do the LSD dipped ones did ya? Those ones are extra trippy."
The mystic rolled her eyes. "I'm a mage, not a hippy you dork."
"Yeah, but let's be honest the only difference between Woodstock and some 'magical rites' is the rock and roll going on in the background."
Raven opened her mouth to retort before she paused in thought and looked away, "Is it wrong that I'm annoyed with you for being right?"
"A wise man once told me that when you admit that all you know is nothing, you take the first step to true wisdom. And me? I can freely admit I don't know jack,"
"It takes a big person to admit they don't know something Ron," Raven noted, "An even bigger person to admit they probably don't understand anything."
"Well maybe nothing was a bit much, but you know what I mean right? I'm not gonna say I know how the stock market works and does what it does, why the sky is blue, and what actions people in power take that lead to poverty and war, but I do know basic calculus and whether or not I'm being ripped off."
"A simple man with simple goals, nothing wrong with that," Raven agreed as she followed him over to the table that was almost ready to buckle with the amount of food that was piled on it.
"Do you prefer meat or no? We have both to choose from as you can see," Raven supplied.
"I am omnivorous," Ron replied "Like any rational human being," He said before filling his plate with some three pepper queso, what looked to be swedish meatballs, and some vegetarian chili along with a helping of very gooey mac and cheese. Leaving enough room on his plate for a small rack of ribs.
"Ribs are done y'all!" Cyborg said as he placed a giant platter of ribs in the center of the table.
"Smells great Cyborg," Ron complimented as he helped himself. He took a seat on the couch and sampled the rib. "Mmm, I taste mustard, some ketchup, salt, pepper, sugar… no molasses, brown sugar, and just a dash of liquid smoke."
"What the heck? How did you?" Cyborg asked.
"A very refined palate, my guy. Plus I love to cook. If I tried hard enough, I could make tofu taste umami and meat sour," Ron replied. "I only partially blame my mom for wanting a girl and buying me an Easy Bake Oven as a kid. That started my love for cooking."
"I have been forbidden from the cooking without supervision by Friend Cyborg," Starfire half pouted. "Apparently food on my planet is not fit for human consumption."
"Okay, that might've been a bit too harsh," Cyborg apologized. "But girl I dunno what you were trying to cook, but it was glowing and tried to kill us!"
"Oh c'mon surely you're exaggerating just a little bit?" Ron asked only to see Cyborg, Beast Boy, and even Raven shaking her head. "Oh…" Turning to the redhead he said, "Want me to teach you how to cook, sometime Star?"
"Would you really, Friend Ron?!" She asked happily. "That would be most welcome! I admit it was most embarrassing being the only one in the Tower being unable to prepare a meal for the others."
"You were worried about that Star?" Cyborg was surprised, "Why didn't you say sumthin?"
"I did not wish to be the bother Friend Cyborg, plus it is as you say on Earth, the embarrassing."
Cy just laughed, "Girl it ain't no trouble, heck between me, Ron and BB, you could learn a whole lot."
"Yeah that could be fun," BB added. "Raven could even get in on it, teach us all how to brew the perfect pot of herbal tea."
"Time, patience, and practice," Raven said sagely. "That's all there is to it."
"Meh, I prefer green tea if I have to drink it," Ron added.
"Are you a big tea drinker?" The empath inquired.
"I was a part of a foreign exchange program to Japan for awhile, so I learned to like the stuff," Ron elaborated. "Master Sensei liked this kind called Gyokuro I think?"
Raven blinked, she knew gyokuro tea leaves weren't cheap. 'So his teacher either had expensive tastes, knew someone, or was well off,' She just said, "I see. Well I don't have that on hand but I do have yorkshire tea."
"Sounds… British," Ron commented.
"It is," Raven confirmed.
"What the heck, why not? I'll try anything once. That is how I made the Naco."
"Woah, Woah, hold up, wait a minute! You made the Naco?" Cyborg asked as he held up his hand.
Ron nodded, "Yeah I heard it went through to the testing phase but didn't pass, bummer."
"Well I guess they changed their mind, cause it's being sold world wide at every Bueno Nacho." Cyborg informed him.
"Seriously? You're not pulling my leg?" In response, Cyborg pulled up the menu on their big screen and showed it to him. And there it was being sold for $7.99 as a meal and $4.99 ala carte.
"Holy crap… Booya!" Ron celebrated.
"If you invented it, you should be getting royalty checks, let's see for how much…" Cyborg said to himself… as he started hacking the Bueno Nacho servers.
"Umm Cybro, are you basically committing corporate espionage on my behalf right now?" Ron asked worriedly. "Cy, buddy, you're great and all but we don't know each other all that well and I think we should at least wait until the first official team up before you start committing corporate espionage. I mean it's not you, it's me, really."
"Wow… way harsh to make that sound like you're dumping him," BB scoffed.
"$0.10 for every Naco sold?! That's highway robbery!" Cyborg complained before he edited the contract payout. "$0.25 for every Naco sold, booya!" He said to himself as he came out of his daze. "Sorry Ron, did you say somethin man? When I used more processing power my other senses kinda shut down to compensate."
"No, no it's nothing, thanks Cy. Just… just don't make that a habit please? Just cause you're a superhero doesn't mean you can't be sent to jail for corporate espionage."
"It's cool man, they were totally stiffing you. If they try to arrest me, well S.T.A.R. Labs attorneys will get involved since," He motioned down at himself, "I'm the billion dollar man,"
"We can rebuild him, we have the technology," Ron echoed, personally deepening his voice.
"Nice," Cy said while sitting next to Ron and chowing down on some of his own home cooking. "Mmm, I did pretty good if I do say so myself."
"Yeah," Ron agreed. "Bit too much sugar though. Maybe next time add Worcestershire sauce to even it out a bit?"
Cyborg took a slow careful bite and chewed it thoughtfully. 'It is almost too sweet,' He noted. "Yeah I'll do that."
"Hey Ron, wanna try a Publano Burger?" BB asked.
"Hit me," Ron replied.
"Peppers yum!"
"Rufus wants one too!" Ron called,
Poking his head out of the kitchen BB's eyes gleamed when he caught sight of Rufus. "Naked Mole Rat? Cool dude!" Needing no prompting the changeling shifted into a green copy of Ron's pet.
"Sup?!" BB squeaked.
"Not much, you?" Rufus replied.
"All good. Cheese?" BB offered.
"Cheese!" Rufus agreed. "Cheese on burger!"
BB gave him a thumbs up before shifting back to human form. "Rufus is a cool dude."
Ron nodded as he perched his buddy on his shoulder. "He's the best."
"One Publano burger and one with cheese coming up!" the changeling said as he headed into the kitchen.
"Make that two with cheese!" Ron called.
"Roger that!" BB replied ecstatic that someone was at least willing to try his cooking.
He was back in short order and watched as Ron took a bite. "Mmm, it's actually not bad. The brand you buy uses black beans to keep it all together?"
"Brand? I made this stuff from scratch dude!" BB said with pride, "And yes, I totally use black beans."
"Texture being slightly off aside, it tastes almost like a Wolloper from Burger Duke."
BB beamed, "That's what I was going for."
"Yep the only thing it needs… is some sauce," Ron said, snapping his fingers as he thought over what flavor to compliment the burger. "Something to make it messy, cause what kinda burger isn't messy? Besides, a little bit of sauce can make them taste dry, which takes away from the flavor and seasoning." Looking at Cyborg he asked, "You got any barbecue sauce left that wasn't used on the ribs?"
"Counter,"
BB came back seconds later with an unlabeled glass bottle. "Homemade?" Ron asked.
"Granny Stone's secret recipe," Cyborg replied.
Putting a liberal dab on the bottom of the top bun, Ron took another bite. "Yep, this is it, the perfect veggie burger. Even if you would eat this Cyborg and you would not be able to tell the difference."
"I'll take that bet," Cy said. "BB, one of your burgers with cheese and my grannies sauce."
"Cy… did you get some sauce into something important?" BB asked worriedly. "You said and I quote "If I ever try to eat any of that vegetarian crap, assume I've been mentally compromised in some way unless I give the passcode… What's the passcode?"
"Jinx is hot," Cyborg replied.
"He's clean," BB replied as he returned to the kitchen.
Raven rolled her eyes. "Boys," she sighed before she called, "Beast Boy?"
"Yeah Rae need me to put the kettle on for ya?"
"Yes please, thank you, but could you also bring me one of those burgers?"
Beast Boy poked his head out of the kitchen doorway. "Okay, where are the cameras?"
"What?" Raven asked.
Looking around suspiciously, the changeling asked, "I'm being Punk'd right? You guys are punking me now right? Ashton Kutcher is going to pop out any second now with a camera crew proving this was all a joke," He looked under the food table and yelled, "Ah-hah… nothing."
"Friend Beast Boy, I think Friends Raven and Cyborg are just trying to be the supportive. I too would like to try your burger that is not made of meat."
"For real? No lie?" Seeing his friends nodding he practically ran back to the kitchen.
"Should we feel bad that he felt he was being punk'd just because we tried to be supportive of his lifestyle choices?" Raven asked no one in particular.
"That kinda hurt," Cyborg agreed, "We should tone it back a bit,"
"Yeah," Raven sighed, "Of course Beast Boy does have a habit of bothering others when they try to meditate."
"But Friend Raven, you often go days without leaving your room or sharing meals with us. Friend Beast Boy only does the bothering of you out of the concern. We worry that you haven't eaten," Starfire gently reprimanded her friend. "And Friend Beast Boy is the only one you'll listen to short of an emergency. Cyborg and I are kindly requested to leave."
"That's not…" Raven was about to deny before she thought about it, 'He does have this knack for annoying me till I leave my room for awhile just to shut him up… wait, that means all the time he did it, he not only did it on purpose, but because he was worried about me,' Raven pulled her hood closer so no one could see her flush. "Nosy well meaning little lima bean."
I'm back," BB said, carrying a tray of burgers. "What'd I miss?"
" Nothing Friend Beast Boy. I was just explaining how both plants and animals try to kill people on my planet. We eat both for sustenance. I don't see the difference in meat and not-meat besides the color of their blood," stated Starfire making everyone, including Ron pause.
"Starfire I sometimes forget that your people are a warrior race and developed their powers to survive in their environment. Thank you for reminding me of the nightmares home to your world," stated Raven, shivering slightly that some worlds were not as peaceful as her home of Azarath.
"I did not mean to do the worrying of you Friend Raven," Starfire said as she took a bite of her veggie burger, "It is good!" She declared, and promptly devoured the rest.
Raven went much slower, but nodded. "It is good, but not something I'd eat everyday… and you can forget about tofu eggs."
"I don't actually eat tofu eggs," BB admitted.
"Then why have you always said you did?" Cyborg asked.
"To mess with you," BB replied grinning impishly.
"Oh… Oh I'm gonna get you back for that stringbean," Cyborg promised as he took a small bite of the veggie burger. "Huh… huh…" He said again before admitting, almost begrudgingly, "It's really not that bad. Like Rae said, I wouldn't wanna eat it everyday but… it's alright."
"So uhh… where's the fearless leader? Boy Wonder? Protege of the Batman?" Ron asked. "Haven't gotten the pleasure of meeting him yet."
Everyone went silent and Ron winced, "Did I just trip a social landmine?"
"It's not you," Raven said, breaking the awkward tension. "Robin has… Did Cyborg explain when he gave you the tour?" Seeing the blonde boy nod, she continued. "Robin is driven, passionate, but that often goes to the point of obsession. He not only has lost our trust, but has done little to regain our trust as he's become fixated on Brother Blood, the current Headmaster of the Hive."
"Dude," Ron deadpanned. "Where's his room at again?" Ron asked as he made his way towards the door. "Nevermind, I'll find it myself."
"Friend Ron," Starfire said blocking his exit, "Please don't. Robin needs to do the fixing of this on his own. Otherwise… the point is lost, yes?"
Ron gave a heated sigh, "You're right I guess… but this bugs me Star, it really does. Ya'll are the bon diggity and he can't seem to see it and that blows."
"Thank you Friend Ron, for being willing to give Robin your two nickels."
"Cents Star," BB corrected.
"Yes," She replied, "Now come! I wish to see what this Xena Warrior Princess is about."
Ron sat back on the couch with the Tamaranian sitting beside him, "You heard the lady! Hit it Cy!"
(...)
They were one fourth of the way through the first season, when the faint 'whoosh' of the living room doors opening could be heard. After a moment Robin's voice came from behind the couch asking, "What's going on here?"
In response Cyborg paused the TV, and undimmed the lights. While Starfire, who had comfortably rested her head on Ron's shoulder sat up and turned to look at him. "Friend Robin, perhaps you have forgotten because you were the busy, but I told you I was inviting a friend over today. You remember Friend Ron, the one who saved me on the overpass a week ago from Cinderblock?"
"Sup dude?" Ron said standing up and offering the Boy Wonder a handshake.
One he declined as he said, "Star, everyone, we can't just invite random civilians into the Tower. It's our secret base and we store a lot of sensitive stuff here."
"Secret?" Ron rebutted, raising an eyebrow. "Dude, you live in a capital T shaped tower, on a small island, in the middle of the bay! There is nothing secret about where you live! Heck Dr Drakken, one of KP and mine's most incompetent villains, has more secret lairs than you guys… no offense guys,"
"None taken," Cyborg spoke up before saying to Robin, "Also Ron isn't just some random civvie Rob, he's Kim Possible's partner."
Robin scoffed, "I've heard of her, she's a wanna-be superhero. One who wouldn't last five seconds against an actual villain like Zsasz or heaven forbid, the Joker." He then pointed at Ron, "But at least I can say she's dedicated to trying. You on the other hand are a liability. No training, no drive, practically afraid of your own shadow. Calling you a hero is like calling a rat a pitbull just because it'll bite a cat if cornered," Ron shook his head, "No, you've just been a civilian who's been in over his head the entire time. A sidekick is at least semi-competent."
Ron's brown eyes were usually warm, like melted milk chocolate. But the moment he insulted Kim, his gaze was akin to hardened quartz. "Richard Grayson," Ron spoke in a very calm, measured tone that was laced with steel as he walked forward, "You can say whatever you want about me, but don't you ever, and I mean ever insult Kim Possible in front of me again. Savvy?"
"Wha… How did you know my name?!" Robin demanded, his domino mask going wide in shock.
Ron was going to continue moving forward as he talked, only to be stopped as Cyborg placed a hand on his shoulder, halting his progress. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out that your Richard Greyson, and Batman is Bruce Wayne. All one has to do is first accept that Batman isn't a myth in Gotham, then think for like, all of five seconds on how he can afford a rocket powered car, a jet, a motorcycle, special kevlar and ceramic suits with who knows how many gadgets on his utility belt. Plus everytime Bruce Wayne just so happens to get a ward a few months later Batman gets a new sidekick? C'mon man."
It was Beast Boy who broke the silence. "Damn… well it all seems kinda obvious when you put it like that doesn't it? Like seriously Bruce Wayne totally is Batman."
"But isn't he a notorious playboy?" Raven asked.
"It's a cover," Beast Boy said immediately. "After all, who would expect the billionaire playboy philanthropist to be Batman?"
"Anyone who's ever seen a James Bond film?" Ron deadpanned. "Or read an Ironman comic?"
Cyborg and Beast Boy looked at each other… "Son of a Bitch!" They said at the same time.
The discussion was interrupted by a distinctive ringtone.
Beep-beep-be-boop.
"Oh that's me," Ron said, reaching into his pants pocket for the Ronmunicator. "Go for Ron Wade."
Yet instead of the boy genius, his own mother was on the other end of the line, seeming very upset.
"R-Ronald you need to c-come quickly to the hospital?!" She got out between sobs.
"Mom? Mom, what's going on?" Ron spoke worriedly into the device.
"I-It's your father, he's been attacked, there taking him to the hospital via ambulance! Hurry Ronald."
"I'll be right there mom, just… just stay with dad alright?"
"O-Okay. Please hurry Ronald I… we don't know if your father is going to make it."
Ron hung up and looked at Cyborg. "Cy how fast can you get me to Jump General Hospital?"
"Not as fast as Star could fly you." The tin man replied seriously knowing time was of the essence.
Star could you," Ron didn't get to finish.
Starfire had blasted a hole through the glass with the starbeams from her eyes and said, "Let us make with the haste Friend Ron!" She scooped him up under his arms and flew out of the hole she made, leaving a green contrail of light as she zoomed towards Jump City General Hospital as fast as she could without hurting her passenger.
(...)
Word Count: 13,934 Number of Pages: 33 Date Completed: 12/23/2022
(...)
AN: Welcome one and all to the first in a new idea of mine called Bubba's Fic Idea Vault. See, I come up with a lot of ideas… I mean A LOT of ideas. I'm sure you've all noticed. But I can't turn all of them into full blown stories or none of them would ever get finished. So, I decided to get plot bunnies out of my head, and feedback from all of you, I would create a place to put potential ideas and if well received enough they would become their own stories. This is the first such one, "A Sitch in Jump City" Where Ron would be the one behind the resurgence of Red X. But yeah tell me what you think. Yes to more? No thank you? Constructive criticism is as always welcome. Now I'm going to hand the mic over to Snowy and First Hassan for a bit, take it away guys!
Snowy: Hey guys Snowy here. Bubba is crushing me with all these new stories. I can't say yes or no to all of them so I am offering this up as penance. May these stories be judged by the fans. You like a story post a comment on fanfiction or P-A-T and R-E-O-N to talk about bubba. Thanks folks and keep vigilant we got more stories to post. Dear god my sanity.
First Hassan: Hohoho! Merry Christmas Eve everyone! Like what Snowy said Bubba is apparently going to make a vault or a den of fanfic ideas that could come into fruition if he, us or you beloved fans wants to work on them. Something that Bubba wants to get it out of his head, I'm telling you he has full of ideas inside of that big brain. Thank you all guys for reading our story, be sure to support Bubba in P-A-T and R-E-O-N, to give him motivation to continue writing for you beloved readers. That's all I have to say and happy holidays!(Turning around while blue flames surrounds Hassan before disappearing)