174. A little Christmas peppered in for fun! Happy Holidays, everyone!

"Are you aware there's a show about strangers who get married to each other, sight unseen?"

Olivia looked over at Ed in the driver's seat. He was looking quite proud of himself, but he always drove with an air of arrogance. Something about bearing the responsibility of transporting his family, wherever they were going, caused him to drip with masculine energy. "I've heard of it," Olivia replied. "Never seen it."

"I haven't either." Ed chuckled a bit. These days, they were rarely apart, and, when they were, he was certain they weren't parking themselves in front of the television. "But it's fascinating, though, isn't it?"

"I'd like to know how many of those marriages work out."

"I'd say half."

"Half?"

"Yeah," Ed replied, "Still a low percentage. But it can't all be bad."

"You're getting very optimistic in your old age."

Ed grinned at her. "Hey! Noah!"

"Yeah, Daddy?"

"How long do you think two people should know each other before they get married?"

Noah twisted his lips and flipped the puzzle book he had been working on over and over in his hands. "Prolly ten years."

"Wow! Ten years?"

"Yup! Did you know Mommy for a long time b'fore you got married?"

"I did. More than ten."

Noah nodded, and, apparently uninterested in the conversation, went back to his book.

Olivia let a few minutes of staring at the lines of the interstate highway pass before she patted Ed's hand and reflectively pointed out Noah had either completely forgotten or was starting to forget life before his Daddy came into the picture. Ed grabbed her hand and kissed it. He understood the bittersweet aspect of this particular reality.

"Can you imagine if we woulda been paired up on a show like that?"

"Ha!" Olivia said, "NYPD blind date reality show. I might have walked out."

"Ah, you woulda given it a shot. You're not a quitter."

"Well, you are pretty handsome."

"Thank you." Ed scratched his face and smirked at the kids in the rear view mirror. Maggie and Wyatt were starting to doze off and their heads lolled back and forth against the car seat headrests. "You think Justin's really okay with all this?"

"I think he realizes there isn't much he can do right now. He's unbelievably levelheaded. But I hope he's not overconfident this will all go away. I mean, I think it will. You think it will. But the courts and laywers...have a funny way of surprising us at the worst possible times."

"Barba give an update on where they're at with G's case?"

"Buried in motions. None of which should be granted with this judge. But it's going to be a while. And in the meantime she has to try and live her life knowing he's out there and can get to her anytime he wants."

"Maybe she should come down here with Sarah and Justin."

"That's a good idea," Olivia put her hand on Ed's arm, "Thank you for thinking of it. I don't know if she'll take us up on it, but I hope she does."

"I feel bad for her, ya know? Seems like she's had a hard road. Even before the," he checked the mirror again. Noah was still wide awake and alert, "Even before. I get the sense not many people have ever had her back."

"So do I. But we are. So maybe she'll let us give her a few days away from everything. Our beach house is the cure for whatever ails anyone."

"And in a couple days it'll come complete with outdoor shower."

Olivia grinned.

"No! You remembered to bring your work gloves, right pal?"

"Yep! In my backpack! Are we gettin' right to work, Daddy?"

"Nah," Ed replied, "I think we're gonna unpack then go for oysters."

"And shrimpies and crab legs?"

"Absolutely."

"YESSSSSS!" Noah was still focused on his puzzle, but he bobbed his head up and down and the grin lingered on his face. "We can work on da shower t'morrow," he murmured matter-of-factly.

Ed smiled at Olivia. "That's right. Not a thing wrong with getting started tomorrow."

…..

Sarah hummed a made-up tune while she applied makeup and fixed her hair. With the university on a break between semesters, Justin had been mostly working from home, but citing a need for a change of scenery, he decided to work from one of his favorite coffee shops, so he darted in and out of the bathroom.

"Is that Moon River?" He asked.

"The song?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think so," Sarah replied. She scrunched her face up and peered at her reflection in the mirror. "But maybe?"

"Hey," Justin partially perched himself on the vanity and absentmindedly rubbed his wrists where, a few days ago, the handcuffs had been. "With everything going on we haven't, uh, really talked about what else happened while you were gone."

Sarah froze and raised her eyebrows.

Justin was quick to continue and also get straight to the detail he'd been keeping to himself now for a couple of weeks. "Nothin' bad. But when your boss came to get the flash drive? He told me about Frankfurt."

Sarah let her head fall so her chin collided with her collarbone. "I wasn't planning on telling you," she mumbled, "Because I didn't give it much thought. It's not the right time."

"You don't think I shoulda at least had a chance to weigh in?"

Sarah turned to face him, "What would you have said?"

"I can't say for sure," he said, "I would've asked if you wanted to do it. And, if so, I would've been on board."

"It didn't feel right," Sarah said. "You're finishing up your program. And the position, well, it would have been a promotion but not much of one. And do we really want to be away for the next two years? Maybe longer? I'm not opposed to living abroad at some point, but when he offered it to me, I should've been excited. Thrilled. And I wasn't. The first thought that popped into my mind was 'how do I get out of this without losing the job I have now' and that's the first thing I asked."

"Still…"

"I'm sorry," Sarah held Justin's hands and stared into his eyes, "I should have told you. But I didn't want to stir up anything when I already knew what I was going to say. But, yes, it was wrong not to tell you. I guess I was thinking...I didn't want you to feel the pressure of me saying no and thinking it was on you." Sarah furrowed her brow, "That sounds wrong. It-"

"-I understand. And, yeah, I probably would've felt a little guilty, but, still, there's gonna be times when that happens, right? That doesn't mean we're gonna just not say anything."

"I know."

"So that was why I kinda freaked out at the hotel," Justin explained, "It felt like I was being shut out of all the decisions. I know it's not true and it's a little ridiculous, but it seemed like that's what was happening."

"I'm sorry," Sarah put her head against his chest, "Next time I'll be better. I promise."

Justin kissed the top of her head, "Me too."

….

Olivia opened the door expecting to see Ed and was, indeed, greeted by his body but a giant poinsettia blocked his face. "Well hello," she said, amused at the sight.

"Merry Christmas," he tilted his head to one side. "This is for you." He handed over the plants and stepped inside. "I may have overdone it a little."

"Not at all. I love it. The apartment needs some Christmas spirit." She leaned in for a kiss.

Ed looked around. The tree was situated in the corner, next to the television stand. Olivia had replaced one of her paintings with a woodcut snowman. The candles on the coffee table were red and green and sitting on metal snowflakes. The poinsettia was a perfect finishing touch and Olivia set it on the kitchen bar.

"I wish I could promise that I wouldn't be long," she said.

"I have nothin' but time," Ed replied. "Noah in bed?"

Olivia nodded, "He finally got to sleep. I think it's only a cold."

"He breathing okay?"

"Yes. And no fever. Probably just picked up something from day care."

"I'll keep a close eye on him."

"I know you will." Olivia gave him another kiss. She donned her blazer and then her black trench and slung her bag over a shoulder. "I'll call."

"Okay."

At work Olivia immediately locked into the case Fin and Rollins had caught earlier that afternoon. They waited to call Olivia, but when they realized the victim was the daughter of one of the city's numerous socialites, they summoned both her and Barba. The case wasn't all that complicated-after viewing footage from a cab and street cams-the perp's identify was indisputable and a warrant was quickly issued for his arrest. Once he was in holding and they were sure the young woman would be safe for the night, Barba and Olivia made the decision to send everyone home. There wasn't much else they could do until morning.

"Drink?" Barba asked Olivia as they stepped into the elevator.

"Ed's at home with Noah," Olivia murmured.

"So, yes?"

She smiled and rolled her eyes. "One."

"Sure."

Without discussing it, they made their way to one of their usual haunts and were happy to find their favorite seats vacant. They ordered and toasted to the holidays. "Have all your shopping done?" Barba asked with a mischievous expression.

"Not quite. I haven't picked up your gift."

"Take your time," he replied, "I want it to be good."

"I wouldn't worry if I were you."

"I won't." Barba took another gulp of his whiskey. "How's Ed doing?"

"Good. I think he likes the new job. Have you worked with him at all?"

Barba smirked, "If I had don't you think you would've heard about it?"

"We're trying to keep it all as separate as possible."

"How's that working out?"

"Okay, actually," she said, "He's a good listener. And he can tell, he has this instinct where he knows if I want to vent or if I want his advice."

"A person like that's tough to find."

"Unbelievably tough." Olivia swirled the wine around in her glass, "I do wonder, though, if he's doing all the emotional work. He's so present for me and for Noah. He might be getting the short end of the stick when the shoe's on the other foot."

Barba shrugged. "It's different with men."

"I'm not so sure that's true."

"It's different in that he's not going to tell you if he's getting the short end of the proverbial stick. So you'll have to pull it out of him. And you might not like the answer."

"Are you telling me it's best to leave it alone?"

"Not necessarily," Barba replied, "But I'm telling you the answer might not be easy to swallow."

Olivia sighed. Her friend was right on all accounts. And, to answer her own question, it wasn't best to leave it alone. If she'd learned anything from previous relationships, ignoring a potential problem always ended in disaster.

"Another one?" Barba asked as the bartender approached.

"Yes. One more. Then I really have to go." When she texted Ed to tell him what was going on, he replied that Noah was fine, had eaten some soup, and was now asleep again. He told her to have fun. To not worry about them. But she didn't want to take advantage of the grace he extended toward her and, by extension, to Barba.

"Don't have this conversation tonight," Barba said after she switched from wine to bourbon.

Olivia's lips curled into a slight smile, "Thank you, counselor," she said, "Noted."

…..

Over in Brooklyn, Sonny and Brooke moaned and groaned as they forced themselves out of bed. Sonny rolled his neck and peered out at the sunny morning. Brooke gripped the doorjamb and stretched her back. She could hear Sofia gleefully playing with her crib toys and was grateful the little girl was skilled at occupying herself. Especially on this morning when her parents could barely move.

"Who would have thought kickball would do this to us?" She whined. "Are we that old?"

"We must be," Sonny bent down and touched his toes, "I feel like I was hit by a bus."

"We need a jetted tub."

"Let's buy one."

Brooke laughed at his frivolity. "We might need a spa day."

"Now there's a good idea. Let's book it."

"Today? Um...you have work, right?" Brooke was sure Sonny hadn't mentioned taking a day off lately, but she, admittedly, did not always listen closely, especially when he was rambling on about random cases or coworkers.

"I don't have to be anywhere until eleven. We could squeeze it in."

"I don't want to squeeze in a spa day. So I think a hot shower will have to do."

"Alright," Sonny grumbled.

"Hey," Brooke said, "Did you ever find out what Barba was doing?"

"Yeah I did," Sonny flopped back on the bed and folded his hands across his torso. "I had to dig, but I finally made the connection. You know G? Sarah's neighbor? The one who babysits for Ed and Liv?"

"Of course I know her."

"Well, he's her lawyer. Something with her former boss."

"Holy shit." Brooke gasped.

"What?"

"Sarah said Justin got arrested for beating up her former boss who...raped her?"

"How'd Sarah know that?"

"Obviously G told her," Brooke hid her eye roll. Sometimes she couldn't believe how oblivious Sonny could be. "And then told Justin and when he saw the guy trying to get into their building Justin tried to stop him and," Brooke punched her palm, "Kicked his ass."

Sonny managed to prop himself on his elbows, "Well isn't this a nice little Tucker family soap opera."

"It would be funny if it weren't for the fact someone raped our friend!"

"They musta diverted the case from me from the get."

"Certainly Barba would have kept it away from you."

"He coulda said something."

"From what I know about him, he's too careful to risk it. For both G's and your sake." Sonny started laughing and Brooke peered at him curiously. "What's so funny now?"

"Ed's and Liv's threads run deep," he said. "When I first started at SVU with Liv, she was a heavy hitter, but, you know, she didn't have a whole lotta, well, I'll say baggage. And now, she's got family connections everywhere. Good thing she retired. I dunno if she woulda been able to stay on the job."

"She stayed on when she and my Dad were dating."

"Yeah, but it almost cost her her job then. And it wasn't gonna get easier. It was hard for her to keep things separate. Especially after the news got out about the two of them. Then we wanted to know everything. And she knew it."

Brooke grinned and poked his belly. "I suspect you wanted to know everything."

"Maybe."

"You're as bad as Sarah."

"Hey! I don't-" he tried to playfully toss Brooke onto the bed beside him, but he doubled over in pain before he could get a grip on her. "Dammit! My back!"

"Next week, let's remember to stretch and warm up first."

"Definitely. What time's the game?"

"Two."

"Then we'll start at ten."

Brooke laughed and pulled him to a standing position. "C'mon, old man. Get your shower and I'll make coffee. Oh, and get our daughter."

"Need help lifting her outta the crib?" Sonny wisecracked.

Brooke shot him a playful glare, "I'll let you know."

….

The Tucker apartment was immaculately decorated for the Christmas Eve party. The Christmas Tree was the undisputed focal point of the room, and they'd bought the largest one that could possibly fit in the space. Ed had to trim the top a few inches in order for the star to fit. Olivia had taken the time to swap their normal photographs for holiday snaps that had been taken over the years, and lights and garland were strung across almost any table or ledge that would stand still. The dining table, which was not going to be used for a formal meal, had been draped with a bright green tablecloth. Sparkly, silver and gold arrangements sat between the platters, and Maggie placed homemade snowflakes she and Wyatt had cut from shimmery cellophane wherever she could find a vacant spot.

While the family always spent the holidays together, it had been a few years since Olivia and Ed hosted a party for their wider circle of family and friends at their home. This year's festivities was born out of one of the kids' favorite pastimes-scrolling through old pictures. They opened the folder labeled "Christmas" and found several subfolders labeled by year. Wyatt chose the year he and Maggie were born, and they found dozens of photos that included both familiar and unfamiliar faces. From there, the party planning began.

Guests arrived in the late afternoon as the sun set and the snowfall, which had been lazily coming down in flurries began to fall in sheets. Maggie, clad in green tights and a tartan dress, stood, arms akimbo, in front of the window and speculated that everyone might have to spend the night if the snow didn't let up.

Ed overheard her and whispered to Olivia, "Remember when Sarah was obsessed with everyone staying over?"

"I remember," Olivia said with a smile, "And it almost happened at least once."

"Well, she got last year at the house."

"Yes she did."

They sipped cocktails and watched their family mingle with the handful of non-Tuckers in attendance. Olivia's former colleagues were there, a few neighbors, and three Benson Center employees whose kids were quickly embraced by Maggie and Wyatt. Noah, at twelve, didn't have anyone his age to hang out with, but he was comfortable among adults and easily chatted with everyone about a variety of and Wyatt were wearing shirts that matched Maggie's dress. Olivia knew she was running out of years to dress them all alike, so she made sure to take full advantage of Noah's patience while she still could.

Somehow, through the din of multiple conversations, Maggie heard the knock at the door. Most people had let themselves in after having been admitted by the doorman, but this particular guest was extra polite. Maggie raced down the foyer and flung open the door. "Hiya G!" She bellowed.

"Merry Christmas, Maggs!" G gave Maggie a hug, careful not to jostle her hair which had been curled and partially pulled back in a red bow.

"What took ya so long?" Maggie asked.

"Am I late?"

"Sorta." Maggie took her hand and, after a stop at the coat rack, led her into the main living room. She turned the corner and ran smack into Ed. "Daddy! G's here!"

"I see," Ed gave G a quick hug, "And our hostess has taken your coat. Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas to you."

"What would you like to drink? Sarah put together a pretty good spiked cider, but we have anything you'd want."

"The cider sounds great, thanks."

Maggie was still holding G's hand when Olivia arrived with the drink. "Hi there," she said, "Thanks for coming! Merry Christmas!"

G wished her a Merry Christmas and thanked Olivia for the invitation. "I feel like I've been working nonstop," she said, "Have we seen each other since the benefit?"

"I don't think so," Olivia's voice was tinged with regret, "Time's flown since Halloween for sure."

A face in the crowd caught G's eye. "Oh, Barba's here."

"He is."

Barba on his own wasn't a threat, but he, unfortunately, was part of one of the most difficult times in her life and she couldn't help those memories from rushing back. He'd seen her at her worst. He'd seen her breakdown, sob, and lash out. It was strange to be in such a festive atmosphere and have to face someone who had bore the brunt of all those emotions, even if it happened years ago.

"G, we got you presents," Maggie said, tugging on her arm and lowering her voice so G had to hunch over to hear her. "But we haveta wait to give 'em to you 'cause we didn't get presents for everybody here!"

G winked at Maggie. "Gotcha. I actually have presents for you, too, but they're at home. I'll give them to Sarah to give to you."

"Or you can jus' come over t'morrow." Maggie shrugged and abruptly skipped away, over to the table, where she helped herself to a slider.

The smile remained on Olivia's face when she turned back to G. "Are you free tomorrow? We'd love to have you for dinner."

"I'm actually flying home, well, to my parents' tomorrow morning," she replied.

"Oh, that's nice."

"It'll be good to see everyone. I haven't been back in a while."

Getting the sense G didn't want to talk about going home, Olivia changed the subject, "Well, we can exchange gifts when you get back. We're having New Year's brunch again. I don't know where, but we're having it somewhere."

"That'll be great." G smiled, thinking of last year when both Justin and Sonny were green throughout the entire meal. They both insisted they hadn't overdone it the night before, but their faces and body language suggested otherwise.

"Hi G!" Wyatt and Noah came over as soon as they saw her. They both gave her a warm embrace, with Wyatt's being more in the bear-hug variety. "We didn't know you were here!"

"You were busy," G said.

"Lotsa people to talk to," Noah pointed out. "And our cousin Sam's here from California. Do you know Sam?" Noah squinted at her. The last time they'd seen Sam was at their family reunion five years earlier, but he'd attended so many events, both big and small, throughout his life sometimes he had trouble distinguishing who was where and when.

"I don't."

On cue, Sam made his way over with his hands, palms up, extended in front of him. "Hey, Noah, you ditched me!"

"Sorry," Noah said sheepishly yet with a grin, "I thought you were eating."

"I turn around to get a chicken wing and this one's gone." Sam outstretched his hand to G, "Hi, I'm Sam. Friend or family?"

"Friend."

"Ah, okay, you never know so I had to ask."

"How come you don't know your own family?" Wyatt asked.

Sam mussed Wyatt's hair and his grin widened, "Because when you're the only one who grew up on the west coast it's hard to keep everyone straight. So, now that I'm living here, I need to know who's who."

"This is our G," Maggie said, popping back into the conversation from nowhere as if she'd never left. She raved about the bacon-wrapped-shrimp and told Sam they had a surfer ornament all in the same sentence.

Olivia excused herself and quickly found Ed. She looped her arm around his waist and kissed him on the cheek. "Having a good time?"

"Great time," he said, "And have you had the shrimp? They're damn good. Got some sort of cheese in there…"

Olivia chuckled, "Maggie was talking about them just now."

"She should know. I saw her with a plate full."

"Is Sam seeing anyone?"

Ed's eyes tracked over to where Sam was still standing in a circle with the three kids and G. "I have no idea. Playin' matchmaker, are ya?"

"Let's see what happens," Olivia said. "There might be some Christmas magic in the air."

Ed put a hand on the side of her face, "Think so?"

"Yes." She grinned and Ed planted a quick yet passionate kiss on her lips. "I meant magic for other people," she said. "We always have the spark."

"Wanted to make sure we're not taking it for granted," he replied.

Olivia locked eyes with him and kissed the top of his hand. "Never."

Feeling like they were alone in the room, Ed gazed at her sweetly. She was radiant in a red sweater and perfect makeup including dark crimson lipstick which he'd smudged. If anyone wanted their attention, he or she would have taken one look at them and known they had to wait. No couple had ever looked more in love than Ed and Olivia, and they never hid their feelings for one another. For two incredibly private people, their mutual adoration was one thing they never attempted to keep under wraps. Perhaps they had no choice. Certain emotions were simply too powerful to contain, and their love certainly fell into that category.

…...

Watching the kids race from the car to the beach was, according to Olivia, one of the best parts of summer. As soon as Ed stopped the SUV on the gravel driveway, Noah unbuckled himself and his siblings and they clamored for their parents to open the doors. Once on the ground, they raced around the home, through the backyard, and onto the path which led them over the dunes and to the sandy Atlantic Ocean shore. Now that the twins were older and they could actually participate in conversations, the three of them chatted away about sand castles, surfing, and jet ski and pontoon rides. Seagulls swooped and Wyatt shrieked and laughed.

"Lookit da buds!" He shouted.

"They're sayin' hi to us!" Noah said.

"Buhdie go WAY!" Maggie, the family's anti-nature lover, sniped.

"Wanna go inna sand, No?" Wyatt asked.

"No, Wy, we haveta unpack da car. Lessgo help."

The trio turned and began to run back to the driveway, but Noah stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the backyard grass. To his left was where the outdoor shower was to be built, and the lumber was stacked neatly against the porch. Ed did hire a contractor to install the plumbing components and the concrete base, so all he and Noah had to construct was the enclosure. Ed made it all sound like an easy task, and Noah, too, became convinced.

"Daddy!" He shouted, "LOOK!"

Ed trotted around the house, "Ah, great. We have all the supplies we need to get started. First thing tomorrow morning."

"What we gotta do first?" Noah crouched and inspected the boards.

"They dug the holes for us, so we need to put the posts in, fill it with concrete, and wait for it to set before we do anything else."

"That's gonna be fun," Noah said with a giggle.

"Sure is," Ed mussed his hair, "C'mon, let's get everything inside so we can go eat. I'm starving."

"Me too. Are we gonna walk on da beach to da shack?"

"Yup."

"I think I forgot my flip flops."

"I bet Mommy took care of that."

"Yeah," Noah leaned into Ed, "Mommy 'members everything."

"She sure does," They rounded the house in time to catch a glimpse of Olivia giving the twins a couple of lighter bags, including their backpacks, to take inside. Everything she did, from packing lunches to loading them with gear, she did with the utmost care and love. She pointed toward the propped front door and kissed their heads before they marched forward. "Mommy's great."

"You think she's gonna like da shower?"

"Oh yeah," Ed smirked, "I think she's gonna love the shower."

…

#Tuckson