175. I've been sitting on this one but couldn't post on a mobile device! I'm working hard to get another one out before the New Year! Which is tomorrow...LOL...oh.

Olivia ran her hand through Ed's short hair, gently tugging at the sections she pinched between her fingers. Though she'd stopped heaving and gasping for breath, her chest was still dramatically rising and falling and bearing the weight of his head and shoulders. "You're going to be exhausted before you even start the shower," she cooed.

"Uh-uh," Ed mumbled. "I have energy for days."

"You've been so...well, lately, it's been…"

Ed lifted his chin as she trailed off in search of the right words to describe what it was like to be in the middle of another extra-passionate stretch. He shot her a teasing smirk. Neither one of them was well-skilled in bawdy talk, but he pretended to wait patiently for her to continue.

"...it's been amazing," she said after another few seconds.

"Yup."

Olivia laughed softly. "You're too good to me, you know that right?"

"No such thing," he sat up a little and bunched a pillow under his head. His eyes sparkled. "You don't think I'm gonna be able to build the rest of that shower, do you?" All Noah could talk about the night before was helping Ed with the construction project, and, while Olivia was supportive in her words, her body language and expressions suggested otherwise.

"I believe we will have an outdoor shower completed this summer."

"You're not answering the question, Lieutenant," Ed kissed her neck until she started to squirm and gasp. The feel of her body reacting to his lips and his touch made him nearly dizzy with desire. He kept kissing her and slowly trailed his fingers down her body. "This time tomorrow we'll be watching the sunrise out there. Or, maybe, this time two days from now. I dunno how long it takes for the concrete to set. It's called quick crete, though, so-"

"-Ed!"

"Hmm?"

"I don't normally say this," Olivia breathlessly blurted out, "But, will you please shut up?"

He grinned and pecked at her lips. "Yes ma'am."

….

The first thing catching Olivia's eye when she arrived home was the poinsettia which seemed to have grown in the few hours she was away. Smiling and filled with both nerves and warmth, she took a seat next to Ed who was cradling Noah. Her toddler son was fast asleep, breathing evenly and without the least bit of congestion. Ed explained, in a whisper, that he'd given him the old fashioned steam treatment in the bathroom then shrugged off praise by confessing it was one of the only remedies he remembered from his early days as a father. Olivia changed clothes and put Noah in bed, making sure to keep the baby monitor close by, poured drinks for them both and sat down again, this time closer to Ed.

"I feel like I took advantage of you tonight," she said, "I'm sorry."

The admission surprised Ed. "Why?" He asked.

"You, here with Noah, while I'm out...drinking with Barba."

"After work drinks," Ed said with a shrug, "And it's not like you're out with another man, who, you know-"

Olivia laughed. "Very true."

"There's no reason for you to feel guilty or bad or anything else," Ed said sincerely, "Because I don't feel slighted. I like this, Liv. I like the fact that you trust me. That you call me when you need me. It's kind of a big deal, ya know?"

"It is," Olivia bit her lip, trying to suppress jitters, for she was about to ignore Barba's advice. Well, sort of. "Ed, how are you?"

"Hmm?"

"How are you?" Olivia repeated the question more slowly.

"I've never been better," he replied, his face contorting into a flirtatious smirk.

"Work's okay?"

The smirk faded slightly. "It's alright." It took only seconds for him to realize the vague answer wasn't going to suffice. "A little boring, actually. What I got wasn't, exactly, what was sold to me. The truth is, there's not much to do."

"You can always go back to IAB?"

"Actually, I think I'll stick it out," he said, "It might be good practice. To let my career come to an end gradually like this. I could hang it up now if I wanted to. I'm not ready yet, but, I'm getting there." He noticed the muscles in her face twitch. "Does it scare ya a little bit, to think about the end?"

It took Olivia longer than usual to respond. She wanted to crack a joke, change the subject, but she'd started this line of conversation so it was only fair she see it through. "More than a little bit," she said, "This is all I've ever known. What will I do when there's no call waking me up in the middle of the night? When I don't have to inconvenience Lucy or you at random times in the day? When I don't have that office...when there's no perp to look at through the glass? I suppose, the only thing that gives me a little hope that I can survive outside of the job is Don Cragen. He was dogged and he jumped right in to retired life," Olivia stopped abruptly and winced, "Ugh. Here I go again."

Confused, Ed cocked his head and peered at her.

Olivia smiled sheepishly and explained, "I told Barba tonight...our, um, us, well, it's not so fair for you."

"Whaddya mean?"

"You're so quick to be here for me, for Noah, to listen, to bring," she gestured toward the kitchen, "flowers. And for what? What are you getting in return, Ed? Me whining about the next phase in life? Sitting with a sick kid while his mom is out knocking them back with her lawyer buddy?"

"Hey," Ed gently jumped in when she paused to take a steadying breath. "This isn't some tit-for-tat, quid pro quo thing we have going on here. This is about us, Liv, as a team. Being there for each other. Remember March? When I was at the lowest part of my entire career, about to be accused, maybe indicted for murder? And you never left my side. You pulled me in closer, now I realize you did it without even knowing it, and you probably thought you were leaning on me, but, the truth is, we were leaning on each other." Olivia started to choke up and he put his arms around her, "I happen to think it's kinda a good thing...that, on instinct, we step up for each other. We don't even need to acknowledge we're doing it. It just happens. And, you know what else?"

"What?" Olivia lifted her chin and looked at him with tear-filled eyes.

"Every time you call or text me and want to meet or have dinner or want me to come over and...be here...it's so simple, but, Liv, that's all I want and that's all I'm ever going to ask of you is that you let me be here."

Olivia blinked. The tears fell and Ed wiped them away with his thumb. She put her head on his shoulder, contentedly stared at the Christmas tree, and convinced herself to smile. It was the holidays, after all, and here she was, safe, warm, and in the arms of a man who loved her more than anyone had ever loved her.

"The thing is, though," Ed said in a decidedly more light-hearted voice, "Next time you meet someone after work and he's a guy and not Barba...it might sting a little."

Olivia laughed and gave him a reassuring kiss on the cheek. "In that case," she said, "I'll get Lucy and invite you along."

….

Ed and Noah were almost identical in khaki cargo shorts, brown work gloves, and gray t-shirts (Noah's was printed with the Batman logo and Ed's was of Yankees variety). Olivia snapped countless photos of them both posed and in action, but once the work got underway and she was more of a nuisance than anything else, she retreated to the porch with the twins who, for now, were content playing with their new child-sized cornhole game. They actually seemed to be trying to play by the rules and take turns and every once in a while Wyatt or Maggie offered a beanbag to Olivia. Their shouts of "G'job!" reminded her of Noah when he was their age.

"Sweethearts, I'm going to call G, okay? You good?"

"G'play Lego," Wyatt said. He tugged on the screen door until it opened (a flaw Ed had on his to-do list) and returned with the blocks. "Magg! Lego!"

Maggie skipped over and they started divvying up the blocks-it was a pre-construction routine of theirs and it was sweet and adorable even if they did occasionally squabble over the blue.

With the little ones sufficiently occupied and Ed and Noah pouring concrete and setting posts, Olivia stretched out on the loveseat where she had a view of everyone and dialed G's number. She answered quickly in a much brighter tone than expected, and rattled off a list of Benson Center Benefit accomplishments that had been achieved in the past couple of days. "That's fantastic," Olivia said, "But, actually, not why I was calling."

"Oh?" G sounded deflated.

"Ed and I want you to come to the beach house," she announced with a flourish, "Sarah and Justin will drive down next weekend and we were hoping you would join them. And us. It's been such a heavy past few weeks. We'd love to have you here, with everyone, and really get our minds off the real world and relax. And we promise not to ask you to babysit," Olivia added with a grin.

"I never mind babysitting," G replied in a weak voice, implying she was accepting the offer. And, the babysitting response was very true. She loved taking care of the Tucker kids perhaps more than she should have.

"So you'll come?"

"Yes. Thank you. I, uh, I can bring some of the benefit-"

"-no no. No work. Sand, sunshine, our boat and jet skis. And some pretty competitive card games."

"Okay…"

"I've already mentioned it to Sarah."

"Olivia, seriously, thank you. This is exactly what I need and I didn't realize it until now."

"I'm glad," Olivia replied. She called the twins over and told them G was coming to the beach. They grinned and babbled about G building sandcastles and swimming with them. "We're all glad," Olivia continued. "And we'll see you Saturday."

"Thanks again, Olivia," G said, "I don't know how I'll ever thank you enough. For everything."

"You're welcome. Have a good week."

"I will."

….

By late morning, the shower wall posts were set and Ed and Noah were using a power screwdriver to secure the boards. They were composite wood so there was no need to stain them year after year, and they wouldn't splinter or crack. The twins were getting restless and wanting to go to the beach, so Olivia gave them a snack to buy some time and went down to check on the other two Tuckers.

She didn't immediately make her presence known in order to listen to and watch the communication between father and son. The project wasn't as complicated as Olivia had envisioned, perfect for a seven-year-old and his Dad who, as it turned out, had not overestimated his carpentry skills. Noah's job was to hold the boards in place while Ed fastened the screws, and when they got to the lower levels, he let Noah handle the power tool.

"Glasses on tight, bud?" Ed asked.

Noah tested his plastic safety specs. "Yep!"

"Okay. Two hands," he checked to make sure the bit was in the grooves and nodded, "Go ahead. Press it down nice and gentle." Knowing he would startle at first, Ed put his hands over Noah's for extra leverage. "Go ahead."

The screwdriver whirred and then came to a clunking stop.

"Nice work, No!" Ed said, "Lookit that! Expertly done!"

"C'I do another one?"

"Yep. Let's start this section. We gotta start from the top, so I'll get these first two."

"Here's another board," Noah took one of the four-foot long planks from the pile and handed it over. "I'll get more screws."

Olivia nearly drooled at the sight of Ed, wearing his own safety glasses and baseball cap, hoisting the board into place. He took the screws from Noah and held them between his lips as he lined up the holes. His shirt inched upwards and Olivia licked her lips at the sight of his bare torso. After securing the top board, Ed must have sensed he was being watched and he turned toward Olivia, blowing her cover.

"Comin' to inspect our work?" he asked with a grin.

"It looks great," Olivia said, "And you're almost done! Wow! Great work, guys!" She handed them the water bottles she'd brought.

"Mommy! Daddy let me use da screwdriver! I did this one!" Noah slapped the board.

"I want to see!" Olivia said.

"Kay! Daddy's gotta do dis other one then it's my turn."

Olivia watched again as Noah operated the screwdriver and she clapped her hands in delight. "You are awesome!" Olivia tugged on one of Ed's pockets and grinned. "Maggie and Wyatt are getting antsy. I'm going to take them down to the beach, okay?"

"Okay," Ed leaned in for a kiss. "We're almost done."

"I thought so."

"We'll be ready for a swim after, right No?"

"Uh-huh! And da jet skis?"

"They're still at the marina. We'll see."

Olivia couldn't resist squeezing Ed's upper arm before she left them to the rest of their work. "I made sandwiches," she said, "Will you bring them down to the beach when you're done so we can all have lunch together?"

"Absolutely. Thank you."

"You're welcome." She stepped away from him and out of their brief romantic bubble. "You two be careful. See you in a little bit."

"We'll be careful, Mommy!" Noah said. "Then, after da beach, we can get all da sand off us out here!"

"That's the idea," Olivia said.

"One of 'em," Ed muttered under his breath as Olivia passed so only she could hear. She didn't reply, but she was sure the back of her neck was visibly flushed and even more sure Ed was smirking at her as she walked away.

…..

Barba almost didn't take the call. He was swamped, which was unusual for the time of year, and in a hurry to get out on the water with his friends. His temporary foray back into law had been more time-consuming and mentally taxing than he expected or than he remembered. He farmed out Justin's case to a reliable colleague and kept in regular touch with G. Barba didn't have any personal stake in this case, but he had developed an affinity for his young client. Mostly, she was unassuming, meek even. But there had been spurts of feistiness and more than once she'd left his office red-faced after having ranted and sobbed for most of their time together. At one point he'd had to use her entire name in order to get her attention and start calming her down.

"Gillian!" He'd shouted.

As planned, she fell silent and snapped to attention. "How did you-" she screwed up her face at the idiotic question. Of course he knew her name. She stared, slack-jawed, at the floor and tried to stop heaving. One thing she liked about Barba, and there were many, was that he always seemed to know how much silence to let pass before speaking.

"Why do you use G?" He asked after a couple of minutes.

"Huh?"

"G. One letter. Why's that?"

"It started when I was young. Probably third or fourth grade. I was sick of people using a hard G, like it was Gilligan, and then some kids started calling me Gilligan, so it was all over. The next year, yeah, it was fifth grade, I became G and only G. So I rescued myself but also pissed off my mom who named me after the actress, you know, the one from the X Files."

"X Files, huh?"

"Yeah. She's a huge fan."

Little by little, Barba came to know G the person rather than G the victim, and since she was his only client, he had the luxury of letting conversations last too long and allowing quick phone check-ins to tick up past the hour mark. So, when the caller clarified that he was actually the Rafael Barba and mentioned her name, he immediately got defensive.

"Yes," he said in a clipped voice, "That's me."

The caller delivered the news in one sentence. Barba hung up and immediately called another person who was certain to have knowledge of the situation to confirm. After learning the news was, indeed, true, he called G.

"I need to see you. Now."

….

"Lunchy, lunchy, lunchy," Noah started the chant and walked around their claimed beach area while munching his sandwich. The twins followed, so Ed and Olivia were surrounded by three childlike versions of the one-lyric song. Which, of course, they didn't mind one bit. They leaned back on their elbows, smiled at their swimwear-clad kids. After they finished their sandwiches they got right to work on a sandcastle, or, rather, a hole in the sand which would, if Noah's plans came to fruition, serve as the castle's lake.

"We'll get da boats when it's all done," he told Maggie and Wyatt. "So da people can go for a little cruise."

Olivia and Ed hid their soft laughter. For a kid who was almost labeled as developmentally delayed speech-wise, he was certainly the most verbose member of the family and possessed a vocabulary level far beyond his years.

"So, G's gonna come down?" Ed asked. After swallowing the last bite of his sandwich, he slathered sunscreen on his chest and wiped his hands in his hair creating short spikes.

"Yep," Olivia replied. "And she agreed to it pretty quickly, too. I hope she doesn't feel like she had to say yes…"

"You're overthinking," Ed leaned over, kissed her cheek, and whispered in her ear, "We're the hottest ticket in town. Everyone wants to come here. Especially now that we have a hot tub and an outdoor shower."

"You're quite proud of yourself, Captain." He was wearing sunglasses but Olivia could tell his blue eyes were sparkling, "And deservedly so."

"You're still overthinking. Admit it."

"I'm overthinking."

"It'll be good to have G here. The more the merrier. And Sonny's not gonna be here for another couple of weeks. It'll be good to have another pair of hands, just in case…"

"In case?"

"In case we want to ditch everyone and have a night, or, even just a walk, to ourselves."

"I'm sure we can arrange that," Olivia said, "But I promised no babysitting."

"Lieutenant," he said, feigning disappointment, "How could you make such a rookie mistake?"

"Relax," Olivia patted his greased abdomen, "Sarah and Brooke always give us a night or two out. My promise was, well, I meant, we wouldn't leave her here with the kids by herself."

"We won't do that."

A huge wave came ashore and partially filled the "lake" the kids were building. Amazed at their good fortune, Maggie and Wyatt jumped up and down and beamed. Pure joy filled their faces as they clamored for Ed and Olivia to look at what they'd built and what the wave had accomplished. Wyatt got so excited he fell backwards and did a reverse somersault. Ed grabbed him and wiped the sand from his face.

"Pretty cool, huh, pal?"

"You buil'dada?" Wyatt raised his eyebrows under his hat and wrapped his arms around Ed's neck.

"Sure," Ed replied, "What's my job?"

"Daddy, we're gonna build one huge tower," Noah said.

"Well, we need a good base then. We'll get a bunch of these little castles together, pack 'em all tight, and we can build on top."

Confused, Noah crinkled his forehead.

Ed mussed his wet hair, "Just watch, bud. You'll get it."

"Kay! Mommy? You gonna help?"

"Sure. What should I do?"

"Well," Noah bit his bottom lip and assessed their work, "I think we need you for windows and bridges. In a little bit."

"In the meantime I'll stay here and take a hundred pictures."

"Let's take one all together!"

In an instant the kids and Ed were huddled around Olivia, hot, full of sunscreen and sandy, but the photo would end up being one that Olivia regularly used as a lockscreen over the years. Later that evening she would discover that Ed posted it on his Instagram page with the caption "pure bliss" which was, of course, absolutely fitting.

…..

"Mommy?"

Olivia had turned off all the lights in Maggie's room save for the multicolored Christmas strands lining her window and closet and was fixing one of the fasteners so it didn't fall during the night. "Hmm?"

"Sof said Santa isn't real."

Doing her best to hide her shock that Sofia, almost two years younger than Maggie, revealed this information, Olivia sat down on the bed and stroked her daughter's thick brown hair. She pried a few locks from under the collar of the pajamas that matched the kids' tartan party outfits. "Why did she say Santa isn't real?" Olivia asked. In her experience as a parent and as a cop she knew it was often more effective to answer questions with questions even though she clearly remembered grade school teachers warning against the technique.

"She said she got presents from Santa with prices on 'em."

The expression on Maggie's face suggested to Olivia that she would accept almost any plausible explanation for this slip, even if it was razor thin on logic. "I bet Santa got mixed up," Olivia said. "He was probably a little tired when he got to Sofia's house and maybe when he was putting on the labels he put one on a present Sonny and Brooke bought Sof. You know what? I'm sure that's what happened."

Maggie smiled and hugged her baby-the one she'd slept with since birth-to her chest. "C'you and Daddy make sure da presents from you are on one side so Santa can put his on da other?"

"You are so smart, sweet girl," Olivia said, "We'll do that."

"Thanks, Mommy."

"I love you, Maggie girl."

"Love you, Mommy." Maggie closed her eyes and mumbled, "Good party."

Olivia chuckled softly, gave Maggie another kiss, and went straight to the tree where she rearranged the presents. Ed soon joined her and asked what she was doing. Olivia told him about her conversation with Maggie, and Ed, displeased, shook his head.

"We didn't fuck up," he said, slurring a bit, "So, leave it all mixed together."

"But Maggie-"

"-Maggie doesn't want to know about Santa yet," Ed kissed and sucked at her neck in a quick yet incredibly passionate few seconds, "So it's gotta be normal. Like we've always done. And we don't have price tags on anything. Sonny," he muttered with an eye roll, "Idiot."

"Ed!"

"Ok, too harsh, I know. He's an easy target."

"You take full advantage."

Ed shrugged. "I was nice tonight. It was a great party. Good job, Mrs. Tucker."

"Same to you, Mr. Tucker."

"Christmas Waltz after we finish here?"

"Wouldn't be Christmas Eve without it."

…...

G had never met Barba for drinks. He kept everything professional and if they met outside of her home or his office, it was at a coffee shop or a park. So when he suggested an off-the-beaten-path bar, she was nearly crippled by nerves. This couldn't be good. Or maybe it was good. Or maybe they needed to meet somewhere they wouldn't be seen, which, well, could be bad or good. But mostly bad. Ugh. She was so flustered she got an Uber. It was entirely possible, in her mental state, she would wind up taking the wrong line in the wrong direction.

When she entered the bar, it was so dingy she was certain she'd miscalculated. She wasn't aware places like this still existed in New York City. But, sure enough, there he was, hunched at the bar, furiously typing at his phone, a stool next to him covered with his blazer to reserve it for her. She sat down and a minute passed before he acknowledged her.

"Sorry," he said with a wave of his hand, "Another thing. What would you like?"

"To know why I'm here?"

Barba obviously knew the bartender because with a quick gesture G suddenly had a drink in front of her. It was the same as his-brown and on ice. She took a grimaced sip and waited.

"It's over," he said.

"What? He took a deal?"

"No," Barba said with a blank expression, "He's dead."

"What?"

The place and its patrons were so antiquated and disinterested, Barba didn't make any gestures for her to be quiet or to settle down.

"Justin's lawyer's no slouch. He got the bastard locked up on trespassing charges and violating a restraining order. Intimidating a witness. And apparently he mouthed off to one too many people. He was found unresponsive this morning."

G couldn't speak.

"Preliminary COD is blunt force trauma to...the spleen. He slowly-"

G held up her hand. "I don't want to know any more."

Barba launched into legalese explanations of what would come next. Based on his behavior, there was no way she would be implicated in some kind of far-fetched jailhouse hit. Justin was now also free and clear. It was one of the rare occurrences where a case actually..concluded.

"No," G shook her head, "It's never going to be over. I can't be the only one."

"No, it's never going to really be over," Barba said, recognizing his words as oddly sounding like Olivia's, "But you can heal. The healing can begin now. We didn't get the conviction, but you named him for what he was. You opened the door to whatever the school has to deal with next. But your voice," he made sure to make eye contact, "Your voice was heard. Believed. And strangely enough it was his that brought him to some sort of justice."

It would take a long time for G to process how she felt about this seemingly neat ending to an ordeal that had cost her time, money, pride, and, most importantly, the general feeling of safety most people enjoyed and took for granted. The whiskey, or whatever it was, didn't burn so badly when she took another drink.

Finally, she willed herself to smile. "It's good news, isn't it?"

"It is."

"Can you," G felt horrible asking but she didn't want to be alone, "Stay here. For a little while. I, uh, I, don't know. What to think."

"As long as you need," Barba said, "I'll be here."

….

#Tuckson