176.

Hearing footsteps approaching their bedroom, Olivia smiled against Ed's chest and waited to see which kid had woken up first. She guessed it was one of the twins, for Noah would find something to do to occupy himself until he was joined by the rest of the family. The door handle turned and the hinges creaked a little. Olivia lifted her head and smiled. She was wrong. Noah was the visitor, but he didn't look all too thrilled about popping in.

"Mommy, your phone," he said in a sleepy voice and appeared to debate tossing the device on the bed and going back to his room or joining his parents.

Olivia wrestled out of the twisted covers and outstretched her arms, "Thank you, sweetheart. I'm sorry. I must have left it on your table after I tucked you in."

"Uh-huh." Noah rounded the bed and handed the phone over.

"You look sleepy," Olivia said as she ran her fingers through his hair. "And it's early. How about a little more sleep?"

Noah nodded and shuffled back toward the door. Olivia almost called him back. After all, she took all the snuggles she could get, but when Noah gave her the phone she saw the reason why it had stirred him. Barba had called and sent a text message. Whatever the news was, it was not routine or mundane.

Call me as soon as you can, the message read.

Olivia glanced at Ed. He had not budged. No doubt the construction, sand castles, and late bedtimes had caught up with him. Even though he was dead to the world, Olivia took a full minute or two to get out of bed and left the door ajar before tiptoeing downstairs, careful to avoid the squeaky boards. She made a quick cup of Kuerig coffee, put it in a travel mug, and went outside to call Barba. During the conversation, she wandered around the yard and eventually, to the beach.

The news hit Olivia like a fit of whiplash. She, of all people, was used to rapidly changing circumstances, but neither she nor Ed had considered the scenario where G's case concluded because the perp was killed in jail. For Justin's sake, a sense of relief washed over her, but, for G, what seemed like a neat conclusion was probably going to be the exact opposite. Unsteady all of a sudden, Olivia sat in the soft sand and hugged her knees to her chest. Definitions of justice varied widely and were nuanced by a million different factors. G had said nothing and would arrive the next day. She had also been promised a stress-free few days. Olivia began to toss around ideas for ways to keep her word but also get a read on how G was feeling and whether she wanted advice. Maybe she didn't. Maybe she preferred to forget for now. But she couldn't forget forever. Olivia needed to strike a balance between giving G space and wisdom.

The breeze kicked up and blew her unbrushed hair in her face. She jerked her chin to clear the strands obstructing her vision and watched baby ducklings waddle along the shore. She thought about how G had happened into their lives. It was all Sarah, everyone had assumed, and, maybe a bit of Noah's charm that reeled her into their orbit, but now Olivia thought otherwise. Maybe this was fate telling Olivia her skills, her compassion, and her story were all still needed. And, on the other side of the equation, G had found genuinely supportive friends.

"Mommy?"

Olivia glanced at the time. She hadn't been gone long, but it had apparently been long enough for the house to come alive. She turned and saw Noah, still in his pajamas, standing on the last boardwalk slat before the path gave way to sand.

"Oh! Hi honey! Sorry, Mommy had to get on the phone and I didn't want to wake anyone up."

"Daddy's makin' breakfast on da grill!"

"Oh yeah?" Olivia stood up and, when she reached Noah, picked him up and gave him a tight hug. "That's odd. I don't think he's ever made breakfast on the grill. Good thing you came to get me."

"Uh-huh!" Noah's expression suggested serious concern. "How's da eggs gonna cook on da slats?"

Olivia smiled, "You know what? Daddy's really smart. I bet he figured out a way to cook everything out there. Let's go."

"Kay!" Noah skipped ahead a few paces but came to a quick stop. "Hey! Who ya talking to on da phone?"

"Barba."

This raised no alarms in Noah's mind. He smiled, turned back toward the house, and kept skipping. "Vote for Barba!" He said, recalling the campaign, "He'll get the lights on!"

Olivia laughed and the joy remained on her face, for, as they got closer to the house, she saw Ed standing over the grill, the twins standing at his side. Wyatt, for some reason, was wearing cowboy boots (they were formerly Noah's and gifted to him by Sarah-of course-but, Olivia wondered, how had they gotten to Delaware?). He appeared to be narrating his every move to Maggie and Wyatt and they were looking up, listening intently.

Noah switched from a skip to a run. He wanted in on the lesson.

Olivia paused for a moment to appreciate the picture-perfect sight and to make certain nothing about her family was ever to be taken for granted. The news was shocking and had knocked her off kilter, but her family steadied her. Later, while the kids worked off their breakfasts with a game of wiffle ball or soccer or something completely made up, she would update Ed. And he, as always, would listen, be reassuring, and comfort her with his mere presence.

He smiled at her when he saw her approach, "Hey," he said, "Waffles or pancakes?"

"Am I the tiebreaker?"

"Nope," Ed twisted his body around for a kiss, "We voted unanimously to let Mommy decide."

"Pancakes."

Ed winked and nodded at the skillet he had heating on the slats, "Was hopin' you'd say that." He picked up Maggie with one arm and grabbed the batter with the other hand, "Okay Maggs, you pour yours first."

"Wanna stah!"

"A star?"

"I'll get da cutouts!" Noah said, rushing inside.

"Hope you're not starving," Ed said apologetically, "This might take a little longer than I thought."

Olivia kissed Maggie's fingers and replied in a sugary sweet voice, "Perfectly okay with me."

….

Olivia and Ed waited outside of school for their kids along with other parents and a few nannies. They weren't in a huge hurry, but Wyatt did have swim class and Maggie had softball and they needed snacks and a change of clothes before heading to practices. Noah was staying after school for Debate. As much as Olivia bit her lip at his independence, she had to admit him being old enough to get to and from school on his own was convenient. Compared to other city parents, she dragged her feet at granting the privilege. Ed, in a rare act of assertion, finally put his foot down and told her enough was enough. The kid was in middle school, after all.

The wait almost universally annoyed everyone. A couple of moms and dads nonchalantly occupied themselves with their phones, but everyone else shifted their weight from foot to foot and blew puffs of frustrated air. What was taking so long?

"I hope everything's okay," Olivia looped an arm around Ed's, "But I suppose if something were really wrong we would've had a call or a text."

"Right," Ed muttered. He glanced at his watch, "But they get five more minutes."

A few seconds after Ed set his grumbly deadline, the final batch of students trickled out of the building. Wyatt and Maggie were in the middle of the pack, walking at the same pace with their heads close together, apparently sharing some type of juicy secret.

"Big news," Ed murmured.

Olivia grinned. She relished in hearing the twins' fourth grade gossip, or, more specifically, she enjoyed hearing her nine-year-olds sound like little adults and articulate trivial drama as if it were groundbreaking, life changing news.

"There was a fight!" Maggie said in an excited yet hushed voice.

Okay, Olivia thought, this was not insignificant. She and Ed looked to Wyatt to fill in more details.

"It started at lunch," Wyatt said, "Carter's phone was gone and she got really mad and started going through everyone's stuff and Brandon pushed her away then," Wyatt looked around. They were on a semi-crowded block and absolutely no one other than his family was paying attention but he spoke in a hushed voice anyway, "Carter. Slapped. Him."

"IN THE FACE!" Maggie jumped up and down.

This behavior was highly unusual if not unheard of at the kids' school. Eyes wide, Olivia waited for more. Ed was doing his best to hold back disbelieving laughter.

"And then," Wyatt continued, "Brandon's face was red and Mr. Glass started to come over so we just thought he was going to break it up, but Carter pushed him again-"

"AND THE DESK FELL OVER!"

"So we had to stay after and tell the principal what happened."

"One by one," Maggie grumbled. In her exasperation, she sounded a lot like her father.

Olivia and Ed let the kids skip ahead, no doubt chattering about the next day and the consequences to follow for Carter and, maybe, Brandon, if he did in fact take the phone, a detail yet to be clarified. They were two months into the school year, so the names were familiar. However, Maggie and Wyatt did not consider the other two close friends, so Olivia and Ed didn't know much about them. Was Brandon a thief? Was Carter violence-prone? Were their twins a little too delighted at the action? The answer to all could possibly be yes.

"How do we handle this one?" Ed asked.

"Let's check in after sports," Olivia suggested, "It happened an hour or two ago. Maybe it's new, fresh, so that's why they're so...excited."

"Have we had the it's-not-okay-to-hit-but-you-have-to-stand-up-for-yourself talk?"

"With Noah, yes." Olivia smiled sweetly at Maggie and Wyatt looking every bit like the happy, appropriately busy, grade-school students they were. At the end of each day they both emerged from school a little disheveled-shirts rumpled or marker streaks on pants or a shoe that perpetually came untied so it was left that way. They were no less cute, though. "And I guess a little bit with the twins. We haven't really, had to…"

"...yet."

"Well, here we are. Some bad influences have finally entered their lives."

Wyatt must have cracked a joke or made a funny observation, because Maggie guffawed and doubled over with laughter as they approached a busy intersection.

Ed shrugged and quipped, "They seem to be taking it well."

Olivia leaned in to him and laughed. "I should stop worrying."

"Maybe a little bit," Ed kissed her head, "But that's our job, right?"

"Right."

….

Olivia gently closed the door to the kids' room, and, much like she did that morning, crept down the stairs, careful not to make any noise. Ed was lying on the couch, eyes half-closed, his pink skin making it impossible for him to admit he'd been anywhere but the beach playing nonstop with his kids.

"We'll let them sleep for an hour," Olivia said, "But no longer. They'll never go to bed."

Ed made a noise-something between a grunt and a snort-signaling his agreement. Olivia stood over him at the back of the sofa, grinning, and bet herself how long it would take him to perk up once she announced how she'd like for them to use naptime. "So, I was thinking, since we need it anyway, how about testing out that shower?"

Ed's lips gradually curled into a grin.

"Unless you want a nap, too?" She asked coyly.

"Hell no," he said as he jumped up, "C'mon." He took her hand and led her outside. On the porch he grabbed two clean towels from their bin and made a beeline for the newest beach house feature situated on the south corner of the house. "It'll take a minute for the water to heat up," Ed said as he latched the door behind them. "So lemme help ya get this off." He tugged at a handful of her bathing suit and coverup.

They kissed and smiled and teased each other until Ed reached back at the water stream and declared it ready. Olivia stepped under the rainfall shower head first and threw her head back, knowing Ed would have trouble controlling himself at the sight of her wet, slicked back hair and the droplets running from her face to her neck and chest.

"You're killin' me, Olivia Margaret," he croaked.

She opened her eyes and held out her arms. "Come here."

The kiss they shared knocked them both off balance more than once. The combination of the late afternoon sun, the thrill of being sort-of exposed, and the firm water pressure increased their hunger and desire for one another. Olivia did have one moment of clarity, and levity, when she noticed there were no products on the corner shelf except for a familiar silver bottle which Ed grabbed seconds later.

Ed dcontinued to kiss her as if it were the last kiss he'd ever experience and made love to her hungrily. He got lost in all the different sensations. Olivia felt weightless in his arms. Her moans and cries were louder than usual and made him feel like the most powerful man in the world. Afterward, as he planted sloppy, exhausted kisses on her face, his chest puffed out with pride at being the only person capable of making her so completely and fully satisfied. At a loss for words, he held her face in his hands and gazed into her eyes.

"I love you so much," Olivia said softly, nearly choking up with emotion. "And I love this shower."

"Told ya I'd get it done."

"I should've never doubted you."

Ed smirked. "Don't you worry about it." He turned off the water and wrapped her in a towel before tying his own around his waist. "That was much better than a nap," he said. "Rejuvenating."

"For sure." Olivia stumbled into him on the way back inside.

"Y'alright?" He asked with a teasing grin.

"Better than ever," she replied, pausing to kiss him before ascending the porch stairs. She cocked an eyebrow and added, "We may have to do that again. Soon."

"Yes ma'am."

…...

Cole entered Ed's office, handed over a coffee, and sat down, his own iced version making a wet outline on the armrest. He saw Ed screw up his face at the drink and explained, "It's like spring outside, Tucker, loosen up."

"I don't know how you people drink cold coffee," Ed sat back in his chair and held his palms in the air, "Isn't that the age old struggle? Getting hot coffee? Not letting your coffee get cold? And now here we are payin' an extra three dollars a pop for cold."

"This is really bothering you."

Ed wished he had an office window because he really felt like staring out of one. "Nah," he replied, "Not the coffee anyway."

Draper uncrossed and recrossed his legs and involuntarily groaned. It was a noise he made in many different situations, and, in this instance, it was an invitation to Tucker to go ahead and talk. Recently, experts had coined the phrase "safe space," but the long time partners had known the concept for years.

"It's that nice outside?" Tucker asked of the late January day.

"Yep."

"Maybe I should try and get her outside for a little bit. She's off today. Or maybe she's done that already," Tucker grinned sheepishly, "I act like I'm the first guy in the world to think of getting out for some fresh air." He stared at a stone-face Draper. "What?"

"Tucker just call her," Draper said in an even-toned, knowing voice while also feeling like he was back in high school. As far as he knew, he was the only person in the world, except maybe for a few bartenders, who knew that Tucker and Benson were more than, well, Tucker from IAB and Benson from SVU, and he was starting to feel a little compassion for his partner having to keep everything under wraps. "What's the worst that could happen?"

The question was rhetorical but Tucker answered anyway. "She could ignore the call."

Draper raised his eyebrows. Ed made no move to reach for his phone. "Want me to leave?"

"Nah." Tucker fired off a text. It was safer both for his ego and in case Olivia was asleep. "What else do we have today?"

"Nothing but paperwork."

"Joy."

"So you can go ahead and sneak outta here early," Draper said with a smirk, "If need be."

Ed glanced at his phone. Never before had he experienced a thrill like the one he felt when he saw her name on the screen. "In that case," he said as he quickly shut down his computer, "I'll see you tomorrow."

…..

At the appointed time of noon, G went downstairs expecting to see Sarah and Justin, but she found only the doorman. He must have seen her surprise, for he quickly stopped her from getting back in the elevator and explained Justin was on his way back with the rental car and Sarah had gone back upstairs to fetch a forgotten bag. He nodded toward the suitcases already lined up at the door as proof G shouldn't walk away. Seconds later, the elevator dinged and Sarah propelled herself out and into the lobby.

"G! Thank gawwwd, I knocked on your door and you didn't answer!"

"We were meeting down here?"

"Oh, yeah," Sarah wiggled her fingers in the air, "I've been on vacay since yesterday so everything's, just-hey! There's the car! Let's hit it!"

Temporarily confused, G didn't move. The car outside was a black Cadillac Escalade that looked either like an upper-tier Uber or corporate car service. "That's the car?" She asked.

"Yeah, well, it was either this or a Kia," Sarah explained, "And it'll be good when we all go out. And also, Justin's going to have to bring Sonny back with Sof next week, so, it'll come in handy."

G screwed up her face, "How long are you staying?"

"At least two weeks," Sarah said. "Don't worry. You can go back with Jus or me."

"Okay," G said weakly. She was planning on staying for the three days for which she was invited. Now, the stay seemed indefinite. She forced herself to shrug. There was a train station nearby. If worse came to worse she could take it back to New York. Good thing I always overpack, she thought.

Approximately three minutes into the ride, G was very grateful to be in Justin's and Sarah's company and all lingering reticence about the trip and the stay faded. The couple was hilarious. They teased each other almost mercilessly but did so laughing so hard Sarah slapped the dashboard and Justin kept muttering he had to concentrate on the road. They somehow included G in their banter even though she didn't know most of the background information. Once out of the metro area, traffic died down, and Sarah seemed to have a story for every city or town they passed. When signs for Philadelphia popped up, Sarah groaned. "Ugh," she said, "Stupid city."

"You don't hate Philadelphia," Justin said calmly.

G swallowed. It was going to be tough not to drool over Justin's heavy Bronx accent over the next few days.

Sarah quickly demurred. G had noticed she rarely pursued a serious argument with Justin. Arguing about whose snores were loudest? Who had won the most one-on-one games without cheating? Yes, those were debates Sarah would have. But when the topics drifted into serious matters, she was less willing to engage in a verbal battle. "You're right," she said, "So many conflicting memories."

"But good times at the time," Justin said, "You said life with Jeff was good."

In the back seat, G hoped her gasp wasn't audible. How do they talk so openly about this? She thought.

"It was good," Sarah admitted, "For a while. I like Philadelphia actually. I shouldn't hold a whole city accountable for a failed marriage. Can you believe I actually told Noah he couldn't go there?"

"You did?" G asked if only to remind herself she was in the car and hearing these personal details.

"Yes," Sarah said, "I told him it was a horrible place and there were no hotels."

Justin slapped the steering wheel. "You're nuts."

"Yes," Sarah said morosely, "I am. But! I can be less nuts if we pull off and get fireworks. That'll be fun. Noey always likes it when we shoot some off early."

"What's fireworks have to do with lying to him?" Justin asked.

"Nothing but, uh, diluting the dishonesty," Sarah replied.

Even G had to laugh.

"Perfect shit," Justin said, "Perfect. No one has perfected buying love like you have."

Sarah grinned. "Thank you honey."

…..

In the downstairs den, Olivia finished making up the futon and fluffed pillows. She made sure the side tables and shelves were free of dust and one of the built-in cabinets was clear enough to be used as a clothes closet in case Sarah brought something she needed to hang.

Ed popped his head in and asked, "Bolognese for dinner?"

"Yes, that sounds good."

"Need help?"

"You showed up at the right time, Captain," she joked, "I'm done." She slowly spun in a circle, inspecting her work. The drapes were more for decoration than blocking sunlight, so she hoped Sarah and Justin wouldn't mind the early morning sunlight. The windows faced directly west. "How's it look?"

"Great," Ed replied, "This is a great room."

"Sarah and Justin like it, right? They've stayed here before. I thought, with G, well, she'd be better upstairs, not down here by herself."

"You're right." Ed walked over to Olivia and gave her a kiss. "You okay? You seem, uh, well, you're trying really hard to make sure everything's perfect and, well, you always do that, but-"

"-I want G to be comfortable," Olivia said, "And I," she paused to collect her thoughts and steel herself for the inevitable emotion that was going to pour out in a few seconds, "I know how it is when...a horrible, vile person who's made your life hell," she snapped her fingers, "Vanishes." Olivia's chin trembled. "And I keep wrestling with how I can help but not be overbearing at the same time."

"Hey," Ed made sure to make solid eye contact, "Those Olivia Benson instincts are still sharp. You don't need a grand strategy, Liv. It'll come to you. You know how it goes. Follow her lead. You'll get to be there for her. Maybe not right away or in the way you think, but it'll happen."

Olivia fell into his chest and hugged him tightly. Regaining her composure, she leaned back and smiled. "Sometimes I forget you knew me as a cop," she said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he kissed her on the lips. "One question, though."

"What's that?"

"Did I sound like a cop just now?"

"Absolutely," Olivia gently slapped his chest and cocked an eyebrow, "But you always sound kind of like a cop."

"I'm a stereotype?"

"Maybe a little." Olivia rose to her tiptoes and kissed him again, "But a sexy, wonderful, loveable one."

With a smirk, Ed replied, "I'll take it."

…..

#Tuckson