The Allure of the Greasepaint.
The first Monday of January 2021 would also become an important milestone in the Hummel-Warbler house in Murray Hill. Grace was returning to work at her office, albeit only for three days a week at first, and that would leave Cooper at home alone with the twins for most of the day. His mom would be looking in at lunchtime that day; Pam Anderson was every inch the doting grandmother, but she knew that she had to give the couple and their young family some space, or she would quickly become an overbearing nuisance instead. She did not have any qualms about the situation in any case, as her son was almost a textbook modern dad, hands on in every respect. He had most recently asked Nick for help in finding a cookbook with simple recipes for infants; he intended that as soon as the children were old enough to enjoy proper food, he would cook nutritious meals for them himself, rather than resorting to store bought meals. He unintentionally made Nick feel a little guilty in doing so, as he had not considered doing that himself; then again, he had not had his troubles to seek around the time of his son's birth…
Since the twins had been born, Cooper had fallen into a comfortable routine, and had still found time in the day to complete his first aid course and gain his qualification. On that Monday morning he had been up and about before his wife, and had prepared her a good breakfast whilst at the same time attending to his son, who had woken before his sister that morning. By the time that Grace came down the stairs with Lily in her arms, it was to find not only breakfast waiting for her, but a packed lunch too. She sometimes wondered, she had to admit, if the Cooper she had first met had been swapped over by aliens without her knowledge, as these days he was just so much better organised. She left for work that day happy in the knowledge that Devon and Lily would be more than okay. She was not wrong, but Cooper would be thrown a slight curve ball that morning. Just after 9am, the phone began to ring…
The call did not come at the most opportune of moments, as he was in the process of changing Devon's diaper; he somehow managed to hold the new one in place with one hand as he answered the call, then sandwiched the phone between his shoulder and his ear, thus giving himself two free hands to finish what he saw as the more important task.
"Hello, am I speaking to C J Hummel-Warbler?"
"Yes, you are, although you may have to excuse me for a moment or two as I am in the process of changing a diaper."
"Oh, my sincere apologies. I heard that you had taken time off for the birth of your children, through from what I recall, they did come along a little earlier than you expected."
"Yes, and made my official last night a no show. Forgive me, but you haven't actually introduced yourself…."
"My apologies again; my name is Laurel Wilks, and I am the personal assistant to the senior productions manager with the Schubert Theater Group. I will come to the point; I have been asked to call you on behalf of the casting director of a new show that is scheduled to open in late spring or early summer this year. Our belief is that you are taking a six month sabbatical and then you would be open to considering a return to work?"
"That much is true," said Cooper, as he managed to successfully secure the diaper on his son, and now only had to slip back on his pants. "However, that return is subject to the right production being on offer. I am hoping for something a little different to what I have appeared in so far, so if this is an offer for a musical…"
"Yes, and no; initially it isn't. I have actually been told to offer you a two show deal, the first of which is a revival of Twelve Angry Men. The feeling here is that a play about courtroom procedures might well be of great relevance by the summer. It is anticipated that it will have a short run of approximately three months, although it may run longer if the audiences are good. Then there is to be a revival for the 20th anniversary of its first run of the Mel Brooks musical The Producers. They have decided that they wish to cast a younger man in the role of Max Bialystock, and then age him up for the show, and that man is you…"
"Let me get this correct? You are offering me a two show deal, one serious drama, one musical… It is interesting. What part is it in the first show?" asked Cooper, his mind starting to work overtime.
"You are to be cast as the one juror that protests the innocence of the accused from the start, and changes the minds of the others; basically, it is the lead. We have already lined up people for the other jurors, starting with…"
Cooper's eyes widened as she named names; actors that he knew the names of, actors that the whole world knew the names of. He was being cast alongside them, and moreover, he was getting the biggest role. "It certainly does sound interesting, but I will need to speak to my wife first, and appraise her of the situation. We have talked about getting a nanny, but we have not made any sort of commitment to that idea, and I would hate to accept even provisionally now and then have to let you down later if we decide not to go in that direction. Out of interest, have you made any casting decisions for the musical?"
"They have ideas, but they would give you the final say as it is very much a double act, and that is why they have chosen the people they have I guess. The outsider at the moment is Sebastian Smythe, as they believe that there is another revival in the offing that he is wanted for. The two main contenders are Mason McCarthy and Sam Evans. Of course, you know all three of them."
"Yes, they are all good friends; they were friends of my late brother. The idea of working with one of them is to say the least, intriguing. Anyway, can you give me your number, and I will call you back by the end of the week with a decision one way or the other…."
The offer would fill Cooper's thoughts for the rest of the day as he went through his usual routine. He was glad to see his mother at lunchtime, and took advantage of her presence to get out for a while into the cold, crisp air. He headed to the supermarket under the AMC on Second Avenue, and thought about the offer as he made the necessary purchases. He had heard of the play of course, and had watched the film right through one rainy day just after he had moved to L.A. The part was complex, and the challenge would be exactly what he needed to keep his mind active. To then move on to such a musical would be such a great honour, and to have in the cast as his protégé one of the young men that he saw as family would be all the sweeter, although in an ideal world, it would be his kid brother that had the role. As for Grace, he was pretty sure that she would agree to him going back to work, as his job meant that he would be at home for most of the morning. They could afford to get childcare after all and they could even think of an au pair, with the added advantage that they could live in. They had the bedroom space, and his mom would probably have no issue whatsoever with popping in during the afternoon to check up on the young woman, or indeed man, concerned…
Pam insisted on cooking dinner for her son and daughter-in-law that evening, which meant that Cooper felt obliged to ask her to join them for dinner that night. He initially considered waiting to tell Grace about the phone call once his mother had left for the night, but he realised that the offer of work would have an impact on her too. He smiled as he watched her that afternoon; the arrival of her grandchildren had been the making of her. She might have failed in many areas as a mom, but she was more than making up for that now. She was always at her best when the twins were around, and Cooper had always had the feeling that if she was asked, she would have been there to help all day, every day. He also knew that such an arrangement would be far from ideal, and would only give rise to flashpoints and clashes as time went on, which could damage the relationship that he now had with her.
He waited until the main course of the meal had been served before he made his announcement. There was an initial silence, even from the twins, and then Grace replied. "That is actually quite wonderful news, CJ. I was always a little concerned that by taking time out to look after the twins you might hold back or damage your career, but it would appear not. I do hope that you said yes?"
"Actually I told them that I would have to speak to you first, as it isn't just the two of us that need to be considered in this choice; it is the twins as well."
"Yes, it would mean that we would need to hire a childminder of some sort… Well, we did discuss the idea of getting an au pair, and it would be useful. I know you will be here in the mornings, and I do intend to tell the partners that I intend to cut back my office hours from what they were before and work from home more, but there would still be gaps in the schedule."
"I would offer to help, but I actually came here today as I have an announcement of my own to make," said Pam, a statement which attracted the attention of the younger couple at once. "Many years ago, before I met your father, Cooper, I worked as a demonstrator for a major cosmetics brand. Jonathan made me give it up when we married, and I stupidly agreed; but I have always tried to stay up to date with the trends and developments in that area. Anyway, to come to the point, I was in Bloomingdales in November, and there was a young woman in the cosmetics department attempting a demonstration, and it was all so wrong. She was paying no attention whatsoever to the unfortunate woman that she had selected to be her model, and as a result, the work she was doing left her looking like a mess. I went to the manager of the department after seeing that to express my concerns, namely that the way that she had been making the woman up was not age appropriate. To my surprise, she agreed, and stated that she wished she had someone older and more experienced to assist in her department… One thing lead to another after that, and essentially, I start work there next week on a part-time basis, and I am so looking forward to getting back into the workplace. Much as I love my grandchildren, I do crave company from an older age bracket too…"
"My goodness, mom, this is great news!" exclaimed Cooper. "I am so proud to see that the smart, successful woman I recall from my earliest memories is now well and truly back."
"You will certainly be able to show those young girls a thing or two," added Grace. "I will of course be making all my cosmetic purchases from you from now on."
"It does mean that you will definitely need someone to help out, and an au pair is a wonderful idea. If she hadn't retired of course, then our old housekeeper from Ohio would have come and done it for you. She did such a good job taking care of you and Blaine," admitted Pam.
"True, but I think that someone a little bit younger might be better," said Cooper, "and that person can be of either sex. We will need to find the number of a good agency. If we call Isabelle, she will probably know one…"
"I have no doubts on that score," replied Grace. "Also, she is the soul of discretion; I would suggest that we keep this news to ourselves for now."
It was after 9pm before Pam finally headed home; she had helped out at bath time, and then she had headed home to the little apartment she rented close to the store that she would soon be working in. "She is quite the changed woman from the one I first encountered," Grace said as she settled down on the sofa. "She is sober, industrious, and the kind of hands on grandmother that new parents need."
"Yeah, she is the mom that I used to know again, and the first time I walk into Bloomingdales and see her at work, I will feel like I am a little kid again… I am so proud of how she has turned her life around after she got rid of the millstone that used to hang around the whole family's neck…" Cooper paused then, and Grace knew he had thought he had heard a noise from upstairs; that made her smile. As nothing else was audible, he started again. "It will be a strange feeling for me to be back at work every night again, at least at first. I also have to admit that being a serious actor does frighten me a little. Some would say that it is easier as there are no notes to learn, no steps to follow, just the lines; but the choreography is still there and vital. It is just as important to know where to stand and how to arrange your feet. Plus, I am going to be Juror 8, and that is by far the biggest part. I have to convince everyone else that someone deserves a chance. There is of course another little thing that worries me in this day and age; it should surely be called Twelve Angry Jurors now, and we should have more women in the show. I don't know how that would go down with the team behind the show if I said that though."
Grace nodded, then said, "You could suggest to them that the judge and the court clerk could be women, my love. Leave the jurors as men as the playwright intended, but make all the officials women. That would satisfy me…"
With his wife and mother behind him, Cooper called back the following day to accept the offer, and made his suggestion about the creation of at least a limited female role in the production. He was gratified to discover that it was already the intention to have all of the parts in the production other than the jury and the accused played by women. They had even considered having a 50/50 split in the jury, but that would have entailed a major rewrite of the classic script, way beyond just a few minor updates; the fear was that such a decision would have left the play clunky and far from the original intended. Cooper couldn't help but laugh when the young woman he had talked to the day before went on to say that the production team had also considered changing the crime from murder to fraud on a national scale, alluding to someone that was leaving office, but they had abandoned it as they would have needed Juror 8 to convince everyone else of their guilt, not their innocence to avoid widespread condemnation.
She was still unable to give him an exact date for the start of the read through process, but she was certain it would be sometime in March; in the meantime, she made arrangements to have the script couriered to him so that he could start the process right away. It would arrive in a few hours; in the meantime, Cooper downloaded the film version and began to watch it again, this time with more attention to the way the show was acted. The film was regarded as a classic, and he could see why as he let the emotions and words of Henry Fonda enter his head; it was his part he would be playing after all, and watching where he put certain nuances in his performance would help him prepare his own interpretation of the character. The script arrived just as he was about to start feeding the twins their lunch; he was grateful to see that there were two copies in the envelope, along with a contract pack. He resolved to sit down and begin the learning process that afternoon whilst the twins took their nap, hoping that an angel or two might be available to help him out…
As Cooper returned to the processes of showbiz, his former tenant was heading into town from New Jersey, getting ready to start another week of performances as Curly McLain. The week ahead would be a strange one for him; Laurie Metcalf had announced that she was leaving the cast, as had been predicted, and her replacement would be announced that evening. Apparently the lady in question had been rehearsing the part on her own already with the assistance of the directors; she would then need a few sessions with the rest of the cast, which would mean long days for them, before taking over at the start of next month. Unusually for Broadway, the plethora of rumours and leaks that normally happened in these circumstances had been absent, but that had much to do with the fact that not even main cast members like himself had been given so much as a hint.
That fact rankled with him just a little, and he had said as much to his Aunt Bette when she had insisted on taking him out for a hot chocolate one afternoon in the week before Christmas. She had listened sympathetically to his rant, then had replied, "Oh I agree, you should have been told by now, as should all the others that have to work extensively with the character on stage, but sometimes that is just how it is in our line of work. I would surmise that the person taking on the part of Aunt Eller is a big name and maybe they didn't want to affect ticket sales in the run up to the change; a new star can have that effect. I just hope that she can match up to you in terms of her star quality, darling boy."
"I am more concerned that we might not have the necessary chemistry and therefore will not gel convincingly. Laurie and I get on well behind the scenes, and that shows on the stage too."
"I do not think that there will be any problem there; you charm every single woman that you might with your good looks and excellent manners. However, I can say now that I will not be able to come and support you on your first night with the new actress, as I will be tied up alas, but I am sure that it will all be fine…"
He kept Bette's words in his head as he headed in through the stage door that afternoon. He collected his mail from the doorkeeper - as usual there was a lot of fan mail, mainly from people that did not want to accept the fact that he was married and/or gay - and made his way to his dressing room. On the threshold, he was stopped in his tracks by a shout from the director. "Sebastian, could you come to my office for a moment? I want to introduce you to Laurie's replacement, not that I think she will need much in the way of an introduction…"
Sebastian nodded, then quickly dropped his mail and his bag in the room; he then headed along to the office, pondering as he did so who it could be; they had to be a big name as Bette had said, given that he wouldn't need an introduction. He racked his brain, thinking of actresses of a certain age that would fit; those close to Laurie's age like Elizabeth McGovern and Joan Cusack; or older, like Christine Baranski, Kate Capshaw and Megan Mullaly… He grinned as he imagined working with the latter, recalling how much he had loved the character of Ms Karen Walker in the sitcom when he was younger…but then again, could he picture her as Aunt Eller?
Now he had reached the office door, and he knocked before entering. When he saw who was sitting there across from the director, he shook his head for a moment, then said "No sir, that reprobate doesn't need much of an introduction; it does also explain why she told me she would be tied up on the new girl's first night…"
Bette laughed, then replied "I just hope that we will be able to work together as well as we socialise; something tells me that we will though…"
"We will have to see about that," replied Sebastian with a laugh. "I have to admit though that your name never entered my head as a potential one for this role. I didn't ever imagine you as an elderly, dowdy, hard-bitten woman; I always picture you in a far more glamorous guise."
"To be honest, if you had asked me a few years ago if I would ever consider playing this role, I would have laughed at you, but I am not as young as I used to be, and there are far fewer glamorous roles open now; in any case, the make up process is exhausting. Dolly Levi was one of the few that was open to a woman of my advanced years, so I decided that now was as good a time as any to push my boundaries and take a part that was smaller and a little more serious. On top of that, it is probably going to be my only chance to share the stage with you, darling boy, for more than a one off for the Tony Awards or a charity gig. Admittedly, you proved that night that you can high kick with the best of them…" Sebastian smiled as he recalled the night he and his fellow Mormons had been the chorus line for a Hello Dolly! skit for the L.A. relief appeal; it had been fun, but a little painful afterwards.
"Anyway, now that you know who the new Aunt Eller is," said the director, "we had better get on with letting the rest of the cast know before we make the official press announcement." Sebastian took the hint, and got up, giving Bette a hug before heading back out to his dressing room, humming the title tune from Hello Dolly! as he did so. By the time that he headed out on stage that night, the whole cast knew who the new Aunt Eller was going to be, and the information had been given to the media. Amongst all of them, there was a division of opinion; they all knew that she could handle the singing parts, but there were many who like Sebastian found it hard to imagine her in the role…
Bette would take over from Laurie Metcalf in the week of the inauguration. The critics were in the theatre en masse that night, but they were joined by one lone Warbler; Ethan had been offered the ticket by a work colleague that had been forced to cancel attending at the last moment. As he had no plans for that evening, and his roommate, Flint's cousin Leo, was out on a date (again) that night, he had decided that he would head along. Sebastian had given none of his friends any clue as to how the dress rehearsals had gone, although they all noted that he had not looked too concerned as the date of the takeover approached…
As the curtain rose that night, the audience gasped almost collectively as the light caught the figure sitting in a chair on the stoop. With great skill, the costume designers and make up artists had turned the star that was usually associated with glamorous looks into an old woman. She looked every bit of her actual age, with her grey hair scraped back into a tight bun, not a trace of any make up on her face, and a pair of glasses perched on the end of her nose. The silence was broken by a lone person applauding, and they were swiftly joined by half the audience in appreciation of the great transformation that had been worked. Then there was the sound of footsteps, and Sebastian stepped on from the wings, causing the applause to stop as the first notes of the shows score began to be played.
At the end of that night's performance, the applause was thunderous, and many rose to their feet when it came to Bette's turn to take her bow. The critics would call it a triumph, and stated how much they liked the fact that the risky choice of Ms Midler had paid off. They also questioned why it had taken a director so long to give the lady in question such a challenging role. Sales of tickets for the show had slowed a little, but now they rebounded, and the full house signs were once more back in play on a daily basis. It was all very gratifying for the cast, but now some began to ask a new question; how long would it be before Sebastian moved on to a new role…