210.

The morning of the field trip to the Lenape Center, Ed pulled on a fresh pair of khakis and was reaching for a long-sleeved button-down shirt when Olivia passed by him in the bathroom, frowned, and wondered aloud why he was getting so dressed up. "You're going to be outside, sitting on stumps of wood, listening to legends and who knows what else," she said, "I think jeans are appropriate. But, you do look cute."

"I don't want to be overdressed," Ed mumbled.

"You are."

"Changing now."

Olivia patted his chest with both hands and gave him a kiss. "You're gonna have so much fun," she said, grinning, and kissing his chin before he chuckled and went to find jeans. Olivia wandered into the kitchen and made a second cup of coffee. She looked out into the sunny October morning sky, then surveyed their messy living area. To her left, the dining table was full of bits and pieces of Noah's school project. To her right, blankets and pillows were strewn across the sofa cushions and a few of the twins' stuffed animals were piled onto the easy chair. In between the living and dining area was the de facto play space-two toy chests, the easel, the miniature kitchen and tool bench, and a gorgeous salmon-colored circular rug that was barely visible under the toys the kids didn't quite get around to picking up the night before. Olivia laughed at herself and at Ed. They had all the time in the world, but were horrible at consistently keeping their home neat. Maybe they subconsciously liked it that way.

After Ed changed, he met Olivia in the kitchen and finished his own coffee at the island while keeping a close eye on the time. "Liv, uh, question."

"Hmm?"

"What am I gonna have to do on this field trip?"

"You've never chaperoned a field trip?"

"No. Have you?"

"No, but I have an idea of what would happen on one," she said, "You'll probably have a small group of kids you have to keep your eye on. It'll be fun!"

"Sounds daunting. I can handle three…but twenty?"

"You're not the only adult there, honey."

"Yeah, right," he leaned across the island for a kiss, "I better go. Bus leaves at ten."

"See you later." Olivia gave him another kiss and lingered on his lips with her eyes closed. "Love you."

"Love you. Hope I make it back in one piece."

Olivia shot him a wink. "I'm sure you will."

…

The quarter inch line of cleavage peeking out from under Olivia's lavender blouse occupied so much of Ed's attention he had to make a concerted effort to concentrate on what she was saying which almost never happened. He hadn't noticed the line at first-she arrived wearing a heavy blazer-but after a few minutes she draped it over the back of her chair. When she sat down again, Ed's mouth started watering. Ed could get lost in everything about Olivia-her voice, her hair, the way her face stiffened when she was digging in her heels about something and the way it could soften in an instant when she considered the more personal and human sides of cases. But when he dared to picture himself in a more intimate setting with her? During those moments he made himself dizzy with anticipation. Anticipation, because he was certain they were getting closer to turning goodbye kisses into goodbye-

"-Ed?"

She was smiling. He was busted. Embarrassed but not remorseful, he smirked and held his glass with both hands rather than reach for hers. They weren't quite there yet. But damn he wanted to be.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "So, uh, you gonna take Noah to see the parade floats get inflated next week?"

"I don't know," Olivia replied, "He's still a little young and that last bout of bronchitis was rough. We might have to settle for waiting for the parade. But, someday. Did you take your girls when they were young?"

"I did. A few times actually. And the last time, it was so funny, Sarah, my youngest, I think she was maybe eight or nine, she just pushed past security and when they started to say somethin' she pointed back to me without a word. Just pointed."

"Hey, when Ed Tucker's your Dad you get perks."

"I don't think I had much juice then, but they let her in."

"I think you've probably always carried yourself as if you were someone with some juice," Olivia grinned and leaned forward.

The lean caused the cleavage line to extend a bit. Ed was locked in now. He wanted to blurt out every single romantic, erotic, devoted, borderline obsessed thought in his mind, but he controlled himself as he always did, he was always in control even when he didn't want to be.

"And vice versa," he said softly, flirtatiously, and let his face relax into a smile.

"So we can pretty much do whatever we want," Olivia quipped.

"Yeah."

Now it was Olivia who was outwardly smitten. He delivered the "yeah" with the perfect combination of cocky sass and charm. This was the Ed Tucker everyone would love if they could see him right now- trying and succeeding to woo the pants off Olivia Benson.

"What do you want to do after we eat?" Olivia asked.

"We could, uh, I don't know how much time you have, but, you up for a nightcap at my place?"

"Sure. If we order now I'll have plenty of time."

She didn't even have to think about it. Ed was shocked. A bit too eagerly he flagged the server, and they ordered their meals with grins on their faces. Neither Olivia nor Ed knew exactly what was going to happen at his place, but they were mutually, albeit silently, thrilled they were about to take this step and had, sort of, decided it together.

"Anything else, sir?"

"No," Ed handed the menu back without taking his eyes off Olivia, "I think we're all set, or, I know I am."

Olivia met his gaze, smiled, and cooed a confident, "I am, too."

Ed could not remember what he'd ordered for dinner and when he raised his glass for a toast he thought it might have contained beer but he wasn't sure. Olivia existed in a halo in front of him. When they knew one another only from work, he had never had the chance to see her like this-smiling, flirtatious, and desirous of him. She was almost like a whole new person, but, no, not really. The "new" part had always been there. It was only now that Ed got to see the entirety of her personality, the depths of her compassion, and the amount of love she had to give.

But the biggest change was that, in a number of ways, she had shown Ed she also had plenty of room for the love he had to give.

And that was all he wanted to do.

…

Had Ed asked Olivia what she planned to do with a couple of hours to herself, she would not have been able to give a very detailed answer. At first she wandered around the empty apartment, picking up dirty clothes and half-heartedly clearing the mess of toys and books, but handling her kids' things while they were gone seemed wrong and eerie and she immediately missed them. When she regretted volunteering to go on the field trip, she remembered how much she was looking forward to spending the afternoon with the twins, just the three of them, being silly and eating junk food and giggling until Maggie and Wyatt toppled into one another and then fell into their mother's lap. Yes, she missed them. She missed them all.

It had been such a long time since Olivia had been lonely.

She paged through the newest photos on her phone and attempted to narrow down a few favorites to send to the store down the street for printing. There were several images snapped at odd angles because Maggie or Wyatt had taken them. Noah had become an excellent photographer and took time to consider background and make sure everyone's eyes were open. Olivia's favorites were the shots the kids took when the people being photographed didn't notice. One of the best ever was one Noah took of Ed helping Wyatt walk. Both father and son were concentrating hard on each step, and Olivia remembered how, not long after that, Wyatt took off running and they all cheered. In the moment, she hadn't realized how present Ed had been. In the photo one could see how desperately he wanted his son to take his first steps.

Eventually, Olivia decided to head up to the roof with a magazine and relax until it was time to pick up the twins. Fall continued to gift New Yorkers with perfect weather, and there were a handful of residents also taking advantage of the lofty oasis. Olivia found a spot in the center of the common area, kicked off her shoes, and made herself comfortable on a loveseat she and Ed had shared many times. Though she held the magazine, she found herself distracted by the view. She was facing the same direction as Noah's room and understood why he always fell asleep facing the window.

Halloween on the horizon felt odd. The past two months had flown by, and Olivia still clearly remembered the final weeks of their Delaware summer. She thought about Natalia and made a mental note to call or send her an email. Maybe, she thought, they could go out to California at some point, perhaps during Noah's winter break. California had treated them well the last time she and Ed visited, and she smiled at the thought of taking the kids on a hike on the Pacific cliffs like the two of them had done.

The summer had been the best yet. So many people had come in and out of the house and had a comfortable place to stay. Olivia was proud of herself, and of Ed, for being able to afford a second home and to give their family such a peaceful respite for years to come. One of the non-family members she knew benefited from the home was G. Olivia often worried about the family friend, neighbor, and babysitter. She knew, deep down, G battled demons apart from the assault that had occurred at the hands of her former boss, and Olivia also acknowledged she would never know the depths of G's pain. Every person who had experienced trauma had their own unique story and own unique struggle through, and ideally, out of it. Olivia spent a minute or so crafting a text to G which she hoped would be perceived as friendly yet not overbearing. Olivia wanted G to be in their lives, but she didn't want to pressure her into spending more time than she could spare on the Tuckers.

So, Olivia sent an honest, brief message.

Was looking at pictures from the benefit. Thank you again. It was a perfect night. Hope you're doing well.

G texted back immediately. She was thrilled at how the benefit turned out. And she was doing well. Busy. But, a good busy. And she asked about the kids and if they had finally stopped asking for a puppy.

Yes they have! And they want to see you soon and so do we! Are you busy this weekend? We're thinking about having Caroline over and grilling on the roof one last time before it gets too cold.

This time it took longer for G to respond, but, when she did, she accepted.

Come on over around four on Saturday. We'll eat early and play some games later.

G agreed and Olivia smiled. Taking care of other people filled her with joy. Despite having embraced G into their lives, Olivia knew so little about her. She sparingly mentioned her family, and, when she did, "Mom" or "Dad" were bit players in the vague anecdotes she occasionally told. To Olivia's knowledge, G did not regularly visit family for holidays or birthdays or any other celebration. This lack of connection made Olivia that much more determined to coax G into their family. Gradually, she was allowing the Tuckers to love her.

Next, Olivia called Caroline who politely informed her daughter-in-law that she was in the middle of decorating her house for Halloween and gently implied she did not have time to chit chat.

"Need any help?" Olivia asked.

"No, no, this is a one person job right now," Caroline replied, "But I'll let you know, dearie."

"Okay...free on Saturday? We want to have you over for dinner."

"I'll be there," Caroline replied hurriedly without asking what she could bring or about who would take her into the city and back. Someone always did. And everyone would love whatever dish she brought along.

"Okay, we'll...see you around four."

"Okay honey."

Olivia clutched the phone and smiled. Caroline was probably scurrying around her house, placing cobwebs and witches' hats and bowls of candy in anticipation of the kids coming over in their costumes. This year they were using Caroline's home as a base for trick or treating. The kids would get a small-town Halloween experience, and she was looking forward to letting her guard down a tiny bit as she and Ed escorted them around the neighborhood.

Ed.

He would be on the bus now headed for Staten Island surrounded by a bunch of second graders and a few other adults. Olivia couldn't help but chuckle at how fish-out-of-water he probably looked and felt. Dinner conversation would certainly be lively, and she was looking forward to hearing the "real" story after the kids were asleep.

Olivia checked her phone again. She had another hour. She put the phone aside-close enough so she could hear it in case of emergency but far enough away that it wouldn't be a distraction-and opened the magazine, blending in with everyone else.

It wasn't easy teaching herself to relax, but she was getting better at it.

…

"MOVIE NIGHT!" Maggie shouted and ran across the main living area. She dove over the back of the couch, flipping in the process, so she landed in a seated position on the middle cushion. She raised her arms in a V shape the way she remembered Summer Olympic gymnasts doing after they finished a routine then twisted her body around and asked about the status of the popcorn.

"Melting the butter now," Ed called to her. Four bowls-one for each kid and a larger one for him and Olivia-sat on the island. Frosted mugs were in the freezer for the soda and beer, and, on the sweet side, Olivia had picked up cupcakes from the local bakery. Buying snacks for movie night was a production in itself.

"Are we ready?" Olivia put her arm around Ed's waist and nuzzled his neck.

"Just about," Ed replied, stirring the last of the melting butter, "They decide on what we're watching?"

"A League of Their Own."

"Again?"

"It was Maggie's choice. She won the toss. They like it."

"They argue."

"Miss Maggie has stated she will skip that particular scene."

Ed sniffed and glanced in Maggie's direction while lovingly rolling his eyes. Ed introduced the kids to A League of Their Own a couple of years ago, and it quickly became a family favorite even though the outcome of the film's final game always sparked lively debate. He turned off the burner, carefully poured the butter over each serving, and, as soon as he finished, Noah and Wyatt scooped their bowls, with Wyatt graciously grabbing his sister's. They took their usual places on the couch and saved the new, oversized "chair and a half" for their parents who purchased the piece precisely because it comfortably fit both of them.

Olivia brought the drinks over one at a time, smiled sweetly at each sincere "Thanks, Mom," she received, and congratulated herself for raising such polite children. They were getting older, bolder, and more independent, but the effort she and Ed had put forth to make sure they were well-behaved and well-mannered continued to pay off. When Noah started middle school Olivia was certain he would pick up some bad habits, but, so far, he had proven to be the same sweet, kind boy he had always been and immune to any negative peer pressure. Still, she remained on alert and ready to help her son navigate tricky situations if and when they arose.

"Ready?" Ed asked, "Need anything else?"

"Ready!" Wyatt said. He was curled on the end of the couch closest to Ed and Olivia. Soon he would put his drink on the coffee table and lay his head on the armrest and most likely doze off at various points during the movie. He would, though, be alert once it was time to dispute the ending. Ed mussed his hair as he passed then doubled back to dim the lights. Movie night had begun.

They had watched the film so many times, they knew the lines and recited some favorites along with the actors at certain points. Maggie squawked "You're gonna lose" along with Stillwell and Wyatt acted as if he had been hit with the flying glove. He grunted and fell into Maggie who burst into laughter and playfully shoved him back to his side.

"You should do the school play," Noah said to his siblings. "You'd be really good at it. At least, if they did this show!"

"Wyatt knows acting," Maggie said, "He was on TV when he was a baby kid, remember?"

Noah laughed, "I always forget about that!"

A smile crossed Olivia's face. She, too, often forgot about Wyatt's brief acting career, but she and Ed had not forgotten about the healthy savings account funded by the show. Wyatt had no idea about the financial cushion he had waiting for him, but knowing it was there offered great comfort to his parents.

The family's collective attention didn't stray from the movie for long. They munched their popcorn, swigged their drinks, cheered when Dottie returned to the team after her injured husband returned from the war, and, as expected, drew battle lines when it came to that dramatic final play. The kids all agreed, to some extent, that Dottie let the ball go on purpose, but they had varying interpretations of her motivations and the repercussions.

"I HATE this," Maggie said. She covered her eyes and did not make good on her promise to leave the room. She continued her case and wildly waved her hands in the air. "Why? Why? Why? Dottie's not dumb like that! She shouldn't have dropped the ball on purpose!"

"She wanted to let Kit shine," Noah said, delivering his typical response, "But...I wish the Peaches would have won."

"Me too," Wyatt said, "But Kit's happy."

"But Dottie let her win on purpose!" Maggie protested, "She didn't really win! Dottie let her! That's like when Brookey lets Sof win at Uno! It's DUMB!"

Ed shook his head at Maggie's overuse of dumb. "Find another word, Maggie May. And I still say...she really did get knocked hard, she dropped it."

Maggie shook her head and scowled. "It's...WRONG!"

Noah laughed.

Maggie directed her discontent at her brother, "I don't have a su'saurus in my brain! Gimme a break!"

Noah laughed even harder and was joined by everyone else, Maggie included.

Olivia eventually stood up and started clearing the snack bowls and thawed mugs. She kissed the top of Maggie's head. "You wouldn't do the same thing if you were in Dottie's shoes?"

"NO!"

"Not even if it meant your brothers or your sisters would be happy?"

"But what if making them happy makes ME sad?"

Olivia gritted her teeth. Even at the age of nine Maggie could be a formidable sparring partner. Ed swooped in, as he often did, to offer a solution. "Then that's when you call me," he said, puffing out his chest. "But it usually doesn't work that way. If you do something nice for someone else, it usually turns out good for everyone. Like it did in the movie. Kit and Dottie both ended up okay."

The three kids all nodded and silently started gathering the blankets they'd brought from their rooms.

"I still wish Dottie and da Peaches and Jimmy Dugan woulda won," Maggie murmured indignantly.

Wyatt and Noah each patted one of her shoulders.

"We know, Maggs," Noah said. "We know."

…

At the Lenape Center the students were divided into three different groups and led through exhibits and the grounds by a tour guide. Ed shoved his hands in his pockets and hung around the perimeter of the group, letting the teachers take the lead. There were two second grade classes on the trip, about fifty kids total, and Ed admired how the teachers were able to patiently and efficiently organize and direct their seven and eight year old charges. They used signals to get them quiet and reminded them that listening did not only mean ears, it meant eyes, too, and Ed noticed many kids, Noah included, mouthing the mantra word-for-word along with the teacher. Compared to his home life, school was infinitely more structured. Maybe that difference was one of the reasons Noah enjoyed school so much-it offered a welcome change to the almost-anything-goes norm he was used to with his parents and with Sarah and Brooke.

On the bus, when the kids boarded, Ed overheard Noah tell his classmates he had to save a seat for his Dad. When Ed appeared, Noah kneeled and waved him back. "You can have da window, Daddy," he said. "Cause I'm gonna talk to Mateo."

"Yeah, sure, okay," Ed mumbled, amused at how Noah thought to offer him the seat but wasn't all that interested in including him in conversation.

Once the kids were grouped, Ed waited for a specific assignment, but he was merely asked to follow along and make sure no one ran off. They were first going on a nature hike and expected to listen as the guide talked about how the Lenape both lived off of and respected the land. Noah listened intently, but often looked back, making sure his Dad was still there. He would smile or give a little wave, and turn his attention back to the guide.

"He's so happy you're here with us," the teacher said softly. She and Ed were trailing the group along with a teacher's aide.

Ed regarded her with a smile and tried to remember her name. She was the other second grade teacher, not Noah's, and he didn't pay a ton of attention to school personnel anyway. "I'm glad I was able to come," he replied, glancing around, "Nice change of scenery."

"Absolutely," she replied in a bubbly voice. "Better than the office?"

"Nope," he said, "No office for me. Not for a while now."

Her cheeks reddened. "Oh…"

"I was NYPD for almost thirty years," Ed explained. "Now my wife and I, well, we're available to chaperone field trips and do preschool pickups."

The teacher grinned but didn't have a chance to say anything else. The guide stopped in a clearing and invited the kids to form a semicircle around him. Noah rushed back to Ed. "Daddy! He's gonna shoot a bow and arrow!"

"Wow! Sounds cool!"

"Sir?" The guide called to Ed, the only other male in the group, "Would you like to take a shot?"

Ed smirked. He had taken hundreds, probably thousands, of shots with his Glock at the range but never in his life tried a bow and arrow. A dozen or so pairs of young, hopeful eyes were trained on him and Noah's shone the brightest. Ed shrugged and stepped forward.

"Sure," he said, "I'll give it a try."

"Yeah!" Noah shouted, "Go Daddy!"

Ed took the equipment from the guide, and, under his breath, said, "Well, I'm either gonna be a hero or a total, embarrassing, disappointment."

The guide was probably about Ed's age. He was a head shorter, barrel chested, and showed Ed how to grip the bow with a calm, sagely expression. "No sir," he said, "I'm quite sure you'll walk out of here a hero. There's a young man over there who cannot see you as anything else."

Ed nodded gratefully.

The guide nodded back and stepped away.

Ed took aim and whispered to himself.

"Here goes nothin."

…

#Tuckson