Sad news from a Warbler
The next few weeks saw a lot of people making the trip out to Maplewood to greet the new arrival. Sebastian did fall in love with his daughter at first sight, much to his chagrin, but her mother had been expecting as much, knowing that he had a big heart under all of his armour, and asked him to be her godfather; that way he had an official role in her life, and a reason to come and visit. He could not refuse, knowing why she was offering him the role, and not someone else who had more in the way of faith and belief. He was still there when Santana's Abuela arrived, and his heart jumped as he saw the way that the old lady melted the minute she saw her great-grandchild for the first time. She could not help but love the little girl in front of her, and any doubts she had had concerning the way that she had been conceived promptly evaporated. Sebastian made his excuses and tried to leave, but before he could he was pulled into a hug by Alma, and thanked loudly for what he had done for her granddaughter, much to the surprise of everyone in the room. He returned to his rehearsals, where he tried to channel all of the madness he could find into his performance; to give an accurate portrayal of a young man destroyed by the revelations that had come after the death of his father….
His opening night as Hamlet would come in late April, and was expected, lead to an influx of Warblers to the city to support their friend. Many had already been in the city the previous month to see the moment that Cooper and Sam took to the stage together as Messers Bialystock and Bloom, although not all of them had been there for opening night. With an au pair now in place at the house in Murray Hill - a young man from Sweden by the name Nils; a decision that had raised a few eyebrows, and had some pondering whether Grace did not trust her husband around pretty girls - there were no issues with child care. He had no issue with looking after little Wes for the evening as well as the twins; the little boy in question had promptly asked Nils on arrival if he could show him how to make Swedish cookies or cakes, which made everyone laugh…
Thus Nick and Jeff were sat alongside Grace and Pam in the best seats in the house on the big night, with Burt and Carole in the row behind. Close by was Rachel with all of Sam's family, her daughter left in the care of Kitty, an arrangement that had raised more eyebrows than the appearance of Nils… To everyone's surprise however, there was no sign of Sebastian as the lights dimmed, although he had a seat reserved alongside Roderick, and had sent a message to say he would see them all at the show only an hour before… What they did not know was that the show had decided to spice things up by bringing in a well known person from the world of film or theatre once a week to sing the role of the lead Nazi in Springtime for Hitler; on the opening night, that role had fallen to Sebastian. There were more than a few gasps as the young man known to so many as Elder Price, Curly McLain and Emcee appeared in full uniform and belted out the number, but in the end, his performance was spectacular, and impressed both his friends and the critics…
Of course, Sebastian's one night only performance was one of the moments that made the show a triumph in the eyes of the critics, but earned him only a footnote in the reviews; it was the leading characters that got the star billing in one of the most favourably reviewed revivals of the year. The unanimous feeling was that both Cooper and Sam, along with the actress playing Ula, should not only be nominated for Tony Awards, but should they fail to win them, the whole system should be judged as failing and the result nothing other than a travesty. Whilst that was important to all of those involved, it was the praise that they received from the show's creator, Mel Brooks, that really made their nights complete. He had been in place for every single rehearsal, and had taken the time to get to know all of them. He had been instrumental in persuading Sebastian to make his cameo appearance too, but had an ulterior motive for that. Following a very successful run in London's West End, he was considering bringing his show Young Frankenstein back to Broadway, and he felt that young Mr Smythe would excel as the titular character…
By the end of the first full week of performances, the run of the show had already been extended, as it was already more or less sold out for months ahead. There would be moments when Sam felt exhausted, dividing his time between the demands of eight shows a week and those of a wife and child. Rachel herself was coping well with the situation, and was proud of her husbands success; those amongst her friends that had feared that jealousy would get the better of her had so far been proved wrong. As for Cooper, he found himself in his element once more, relishing all of the song and dance routines, particularly as he was less involved in many of them; his role was a lot less physical because of his character's age…
When in April Tony season did finally arrive, no-one was in the least surprised to hear the three names from the show called out as the category winners. Cooper would place his newest Tony for best actor next to the others, flanked as he did so by two very proud angels. Sam's best supporting actor award would take pride of place in his home at Rachel's insistence, but what people would recall most from that night was the heartfelt and moving acceptance speech that he gave; it would be remembered as one of the most natural of a generation…
After the Tonys had come and gone, it was time for Sebastian to open in a new role that was very different to those that people had come to expect him in. As with Cooper before him, opinion amongst the critics had been divided as to how well he would inhabit his new role; his friends however had no doubt at all, believing in his versatility. Some actually felt that the role might as well have been created especially for him… Most of them made their way to the theatre to support him in that first week, to watch as he took on one of the most famous roles in Shakespeare. All of the young men that had been at Dalton could actually recite that most well known of soliloquies word for word; to be, or not to be was one of the texts that the English department favoured, and as such it usually formed the basis of one of the questions in the end of year exams. That was one reason why the English department had made a block booking for the show in the week after opening night; it allowed the current Dalton students to see one of the best known school alumni bringing those words to life….
As with The Producers, Hamlet was rated a success by the critics. One commentator went so far as to say that the part proved that Sebastian was much more than just a song and dance man; he was an actor of renown, a future colossus that would be ranked amongst the greatest of all time… Sales had been doing well before then, but as with The Producers, the positive reviews saw demand grow and an extension was made to the advertised run. It would also lead to something that left Sebastian speechless, unable to think how he would respond. The producers were approached by the National Theatre in London, and asked if they would consider taking the show to London for a short run, with the current cast. The news left Sebastian flattered, but conflicted; it would be a great boost to his career, but there was no way Dave could make the trip with him, and he would also be away from his daughter for a few months. The offer was something that they would need to discuss….
Those discussions were still going on when it came to the time for Dalton's annual graduation ceremony, and with it the return of the Warbler alumni to the nest, so to speak. Sebastian considered not going, but he had already booked the day off, and Dave had not only encouraged him to go, but insisted that he had to. Sebastian had shaken his head at his husband's vehemence at first, but then realised that if he was so keen, then he wouldn't mind bolstering the much smaller band that now managed to make the big day…
He would discover that this year was an exception to the rule; everyone that he knew well from the Warblers had made it for once, and they all greeted him warmly as he walked in, dressed once more in that familiar blazer and tie. He and his fellow ex-Warblers sat in their usual spot for the ceremony, but this year there was a seating plan, and he and Trent found themselves side by side in the front row. The reason for that would become clear at the end of the event, when Principal Lefevre stood up, and after her usual speech congratulating the graduating class, she continued with something new.
"We at Dalton are not just proud of our graduating Seniors on this day; we are also proud of their predecessors, our alumni who have gone out into the world and made a difference, earning their place in society. As most of you will be aware, we have a corridor within the school that is lined with portraits and photographs, which date back to the first days of Dalton's Academy for Young Gentlemen. From time to time, we make additions, and we do so today. We will make two additions this year, two young men in very different fields that we all agree should be there. Ladies and Gentlemen, those two men are here with us today, but do not know what we are about to do. Please give your congratulations to Mr Trent Nixon, the youngest senior speechwriter in White House history; and Mr Sebastian Smythe, already being described by some as one of the greatest actors of the 21st Century…"
Sebastian turned to look at Trent, and he was gratified to see that he looked every bit as shocked by what was happening as he was; then he looked across at Thad, who was just smiling away whilst avoiding making eye contact with him. He was suddenly conscious of the fact that people were applauding and he knew that he had to rise to his feet and accept the gesture; Trent got up beside him, his cheeks bright red at the embarrassment of the situation. There was no need for a speech, thankfully, just a motion of the head from Thad to follow him down to that long corridor, where they stopped by the two framed photos that now occupied the requisite spot.
"At least they are good photos," mused Trent, "but I really do not deserve this accolade, unlike Sebastian."
"I am not deserving of it either, at least, not yet. I mean, why is there no place here for Jeff, an award winning artist? He should be here, not me."
"That is because the rules state that only two people can be placed here each year, and this time Jeff was a close third," said Thad, staring with a smile at the two pictures. "As a result, he will be one of the people that has his picture here as of next year; just don't tell him. Of course, he and Nick will be in London, so I will need to employ some ruse to get them back home in time; maybe get Nick involved in the process. Anyway, you do both deserve your place here; you Sebastian are Dalton's first ever Tony award winning actor after all, and as for you Trent, well it isn't all about the West Wing stuff everyone knows about…" Thad stopped, and saw the light come on in Trent's head. He continued, "You saved the Warblers after all, and protected Dalton's reputation to the best of your ability. Then there is all that you have done for Burt, and hence, the nation…"
"Well, we are both honoured," said Sebastian, "but maybe a friendly heads up the next time would be nice." Trent could only nod in agreement to that sentiment.
By the time the two new inductees to the hall of fame arrived at the Senior Commons with Thad, the usual celebrations were in full swing; indeed, the graduating class were about to begin their final song for their brethren. The three late arrivals settled in as the music began, and those boys began to sing. It brought back so many memories for all of those in the room; for many of them, it was now a decade or more since they had been in the same place those young men now were. Then they had been looking forward to heading to college. Now those that had been there a decade earlier were nearing 30, two of them had sons of their own and one had a foster son. One of that senior class was alone by choice, one as a result of losing the love of their life to tragedy, and of course, one of them was absent. If Ethan or Thad realised that they said nothing, just enjoyed the senior boys skit, although it wasn't a patch on their own rendition of Oops, I did it again…
Then came the usual hour of socialising, of Thad making the introductions to the graduating boys of the alumni; they had heard the names, but did not recognise the faces. Gradually as time went on the younger boys began to take their leave, to head to other events that marked the graduation day, until eventually only those that were still collectively known as Wes' boys and the younger men that had been in the group in the year that Hunter made their lives a living hell were left. For one of those boys, this was now the perfect time to make a clean breast of a secret…
He had been thinking about it for a while. Seth knew he would have to admit that he was seriously ill to his bird brothers. Colin knew already what was wrong with him, thanks to his medication, and he was sure that Skylar had an idea that something was wrong with him too. He was also certain that Thad would take him to one side at some point that day and ask him about his state of health. If he was being honest, that was not great at the moment; the pains were growing in intensity, and the drugs seemed to be less and less effective. Worst of all, he had begun to have similar pains in one of his legs and his other hand, all signs that the condition was progressing. He had to tell them all now before he was robbed of his chance to do so on his own terms. With everyone here, he had the perfect chance.
He left the chair he had been sitting in, and headed over to the council table, the seats behind it empty as around him the sound of chatter grew. He felt an eye upon him, and guessed immediately that it was Thad; he had been looking at him on and off all day, and would no doubt speak out if he attempted to leave… Instead he stood behind that table and looked at his fellows. They all seemed so happy at that moment, so full of joy and laughter, at least on the surface. He was about to destroy all of that with one statement, but he had no other option; he had to tell them, and this was his chance…
"Guys," he began in a faltering voice, but the hubbub of conversation and the weakness of it meant that no-one even noticed. That was when he saw movement, and Thad was suddenly beside him. Without a word, he took Mr Bangy from his pocket, and rapped him hard on the table. At once, there was a complete silence in the room, and everyone was looking at him…
"Thank you, Head Warbler, for your assistance," began Seth, his eyes briefly meeting Thad's, but then just as quickly returning to the floor. "I am sorry to interrupt our gathering, but I need to make an announcement which concerns myself, but will have an impact on all of us."
He stopped, and looked up again, thus catching the expression on Colin's face, the young man being of course fully aware of what they would all be hearing in the next few minutes, and certain of the devastation that Seth's words would cause. He tried to force a smile, to show Seth that he was right behind him, but his own feelings made it impossible.
"I would ask all of you to cast your minds back to the day when our much loved Edwin became an official couple, and how at the crucial moment I dropped the ring entrusted to me as my hand shook. You probably all put it down to nerves, or my clumsiness; in any case it was laughed off and forgotten. The fact is however that such events were not a one off for me; it had happened before, and it still happens now. Thad of course noticed it and the look on my face when it occurred, and resolved to check up on me; our Head Warbler is truly following in the footsteps of Wes… He finally confronted me about it last summer, and forced me to go and see a doctor when he heard it was not a random event; his brother as it happened. What Thad does not know is that one visit that he is aware of was the first of many. Dr Harwood had thoughts as to what the worst case scenario would be from my symptoms, and decided to eliminate that idea first. Unfortunately, what he feared the most turned out to be the cause of my problems. Through him, I was given access to a program whereby I do not have to pay for the cocktail of medications I now have to take, for his time or for the treatments. However, there is only so much that all of that can do…"
He stopped to take a breath, painfully aware that the room had fallen deathly silent. Not one word was being uttered by his fellows as they focused their attention on what he was saying. He raised his eyes to be met with looks of concern and of thinly veiled horror. He saw that Colin was now staring at a spot on the floor, and that at his side his husband was looking at him, and then at Seth, with curiosity…
"At this point I have to admit that by a stroke of fate, one of you already knows what is coming next. A high level of staff absence just before this year began meant that Colin was sent to the obscure pharmacy that I had chosen to obtain my medications from, in the hope that no-one would discover that I had so many pills to pick up. My repeat prescription was always made up on the last day of the month, and that was the day he was sent, and one of his jobs was to make those up… Having to make it up must have been hard after he read the name, in the knowledge of what those drugs were for; he was a complete professional and said nothing, giving me the same confidence that Ollie Harwood has. For him, today marks the end of having to bare the burden of what has been until now my biggest secret himself. My only wish is that I could have saved him from being in that unenviable position in the first place. Right. There is no way to sugar coat this, nothing that will soften the blow. I have Motor Neuron Disease. Basically, my muscles are being affected by rogue signals from my brain. It started in that one hand, but now it effects both, and my left leg. The pills are still working, but only just, and the dosage is now at the maximum level. There is no known cure for this; no way of reversing the deterioration. In short, I have what can only be described as a terminal illness…"
He stopped again, and this time the silence was even more deafening; he did not dare to look up now, fearing seeing tear stained faces. After all, several rogue tears were already coursing down his own cheeks…
"How long?" It was Beats that broke the silence, someone that was all too aware of having a body that was not as it should be thanks to a condition that would eventually rob him of his sight. As such, there was no censure at his words, and in any case, it was something that they all wanted to know…
"If I am lucky, I could have another fifty, sixty, even seventy years; if not, then as little as five or six…" Those words finally brought another sound; a strangled sob from someone; without even looking, Seth knew where it had come from…
It had come of course from Skylar. He was after all Seth's best friend and had until then had no reason not to imagine Seth being there as they grew older. He had imagined them side by side at his wedding, and then one day, at Seth's. He had been expecting that Uncle Seth would be around as his unborn children grew up. Now all of that was in doubt, up in the air. To him, his entire future had just been shattered as well… Skylar suddenly felt an arm around his shoulders, and he looked up to see Ethan was the person responsible. His face was pale and drawn, because he got what Skylar felt. After all, the friend that he too had always pictured being there was no longer in the equation, and his heart was every bit as sore as Skylar's had to be at that moment.
Skylar saw that Thad had moved up now to stand with Seth, his face etched with the pain that he felt, the same heartache that was now on every visage in the room. This was worse somehow than losing Kurt, Blaine and Wes. Their deaths had been sudden, unexpected and heartbreaking. Knowing what was coming this time, and aware of how the young man in front of them would deteriorate over time was going to make this loss all the more painful.
"I think that I can speak for everyone here when I say that you will be constantly in our thoughts from now on, and that if there is anything that we can do to help, then we will do it," said Thad quietly, and there were nods of assent at once from every corner of the room…
Thad knew that the party atmosphere was gone now, and with all the will in the world, it would not be possible to restore it. He wanted the chance to take Seth to one side and talk to him in private, and he knew that someone had to give the news to the Carmichaels, even though it would break the hearts of a couple for whom the Dalton boys were the most important thing in their lives. However, he also knew that all of that could wait until someone more important had been given a chance for a one on one with Seth; a young man that looked so shell-shocked and distraught. So he discretely urged the other Warblers to start making their way from the room, save for that one person. He himself left last, with an arm wrapped around Colin's shoulders, as the man in question found himself caught up in a maelstrom of guilt over being pleased that the secret was out, and pain that he knew he was going to be losing a friend.
That left only two people in the Senior Commons. Seth quietly walked over to the couch to sit next to his best friend who was silent, staring fixedly at the carpet as he had done earlier. The moment that he sat down next to him, Skylar spoke. "I knew that something was wrong the moment that you stopped making your models. I knew that there had to be something, but I got so caught up in other things, and in any case, I never contemplated that it would be something like this…"
"Even if you had, there wouldn't have been anything that you could have done. It has always been there you know, under the surface; a flaw in my DNA that cannot be removed or fixed. This condition has always been a part of Seth Kennedy…"
"I could have gone to the hospital with you, though; helped you through those hard moments when you lost your cool, calm exterior…"
"Honestly, Skylar, there haven't been too many of those since I realised my limitations. It was a relief in a way you know to find out what was taking control of my hand, even if it was something so terrible. You see, before I was taken to see Ollie, I had been consulting Dr Google, and it was there on their list, so I had mentally prepared myself for the very worst; when it turned out that was indeed what it was, well I just resigned myself to my fate. I am going to die, Skylar, and although I mentioned the optimistic longevity, well, it is more likely it will be the other… It has been progressing too fast, and it will eventually spread beyond my limbs…"
Seth stopped then as Skylar gave a loud sob. He had been talking away without a thought, trying to be strong, but had thus failed to notice the impact those words had been having on his friend. In fact, he suspected that part of him had not even wanted to know. But now he saw that Skylar was crying, tears dripping from his downturned face onto his well polished shoes. He moved closer to him, and put an arm around his shoulders; Skylar's response was to fling himself into Seth's chest and weep with abandon. That was when Seth felt his own tears start to form; the ones that he had been fighting back since the diagnosis of MND had been confirmed. He decided that now was a good time to finally give in to them; it would not help the situation, but it might release some of the pain he felt inside…
At least five minutes passed before Skylar pulled himself up into an upright position again and faced his friend. He stretched out a finger to wipe the last tear from his friend's eye, then spoke quietly. "So, what can I do now? I guess that as this thing progresses you will need more help with everyday tasks, so I am up for that. After all, I can freelance as an architect and work from home… We can get a place together, the two of us, somewhere with good accessibility, as I assume that eventually you will be confined to a chair like Artie…"
"Skylar, stop…"
"I'm sorry, that was a bit insensitive of me…"
"No, I don't mean about the chair," said Seth in a measured tone. "That will happen. No, I need you to stop planning on giving up your future for my benefit. I will not let you do that. For a start, everyone can see just how much you and Julia love each other. I know that her long term plan is to go back to Ohio, and if she does, then you should go with her. I can picture the two of you, happily married with kids, living in a house that you designed. I will not be the one that stops that happening. There are plenty of other people that can care for me; I do not need it to be you, potentially miserable as sin because of all you have had to give up…"
"None of that matters…"
"Yes it does. I need you to be happy, because then I can be happy."
"I've dealt with this kind of thing before you know," Skylar said, and Seth looked at him with curiosity. "I had a cousin; he would have been your age by now. He and I were so close growing up, like brothers our mother's said, but then, when I was about 11, he got sick. Leukaemia. I still went and saw him every chance I got, and whenever I walked into the room, he smiled… He used to call me his 'Sunny Sky', as I always brightened his day. The day they told me he had died, I was shattered; I cried for hours, and for weeks after I would just burst into tears…"
"You know, that is what I need you to be for me. I need you to be my 'Sunny Sky'. Not someone that is there to witness all of the awkwardness, the pain, the eventual rage; no, I need you to be the person that comes to visit and makes me smile. I don't want to see that smile of yours diminished by losing all the happy things in your life, just to watch me deteriorate. If you care for me as much as I think you do, then be with Julia, and be happy; that will make me happy."
Skylar sighed, and replied, "If that is truly what you want, then okay, I'll try, but I'm not making any promises…"
"That is all I can ask… You are my best friend, Sky. I do need you, but I will not destroy you. So, let's try and get through the rest of today with a smile, and forget all about it, just for a little while…"
Skylar nodded at Seth's request, but in his heart, he knew that would be an uphill struggle…
It was not going to be easy for any of the assembled Warblers to forget that day. Thad had found all of them gathered in the refectory, some in tears that they had not wished to shed in front of Seth. Colin left Thad's side and dry-eyed, he comforted his husband instead; after all, Edward had known him for longer. Thad was not in the least shocked to see Trent and Jeff in tears, but Sebastian was a shock, sobbing away in David's arms, not making any attempt to hide the devastation that he felt. A few of the others had begun to read up on MND online, to see what if anything could be done to extend their friend's life, all of them of the opinion that money would be no object if there was something that would prolong the time he was with them.
Confident that David, with assistance from the Gabriel, was in charge of the situation, Thad left again and headed to the Principal's office, knowing that he would find the Carmichaels there along with Principal Lefevre. He was certain that Seth would not mind him sharing the news with the three people in that room; in fact, he would want them to know, and telling them himself would be difficult. In some ways, it was a pity that there had been no warning of what Seth had been about to disclose, as then they could have been in the Senior Commons too… Thad knew what their reactions would be, and as he had expected, the look of desolation and despair on the faces of Aaron and Edith Carmichael was heartbreaking. All three insisted on coming back to the Senior Commons with Thad; he intended to check up on the two young men that he had left talking there.
They arrived at the door just as they were walking out. Seth knew at once what Thad had done, and as the Head Warbler had surmised, he smiled at him and gave him a nod of gratitude. He was however a little surprised when the former Principal pulled him into a hug, and then asked him to step back inside, motioning for Thad to join them. Mrs Carmichael had in the meantime taken Skylar into her arms, and then suggested that he should take her back to her house, and then stay for tea. He was about to decline, anxious to stay with his best friend, when she added, "Aaron will be bringing Seth to join us too after they have had a chat. He will need his best friend, and you also need a chance to talk about your feelings with someone that knows how this feels…"
As Skylar wondered what she meant, Aaron Carmichael had taken a seat at the council table, and had motioned Thad and Seth to sit too. "I won't bother with the well worn platitudes; you will be aware of how upset I am to hear that you are unwell, Seth. It pains me to think that another of the bright lights of my time here is to be extinguished far too early, and my only wish is that you outlive me. What you don't know is that I actually have some personal experience of the condition, and the terrible impact it can have on a young life. As you will be aware, Edith and I met at NYU more years ago now than I care to remember; we married in the tumultuous summer of 1968, at a time when many of our contemporaries saw marriage as an outdated concept they would never enter in to. It was at our wedding reception that the first indications became apparent. My wife is the oldest of her parents' three children; she had a younger brother, Thomas, who had just turned 18 a few days before our ceremony. He would drop his plate at the buffet, his glass during the toast; most people dismissed it as clumsiness, but his mother was convinced that it wasn't, and sent him for tests. The confirmation came on his 19th birthday…"
"He had MND too…" said Seth quietly. "Is he…?"
"He passed just a few weeks after our son Jamie did, which left an already broken family shattered. Edith's mother had a stroke a few days later, and after that… Of course, they know so much more now, and the treatments are better, and with all of the research…"
"Yes, they can do so much more," replied Seth, doing the mental calculation in his head, and realising that the Principal's brother-in-law had reached the age of 40...
Tea with the Carmichaels that afternoon was a more muted affair than normal. Edith had told Skylar all about her little brother before her husband and Skylar arrived, and both of them had shared fresh tears over the turn of events. "The worst thing of all," Mrs Carmichael had said, "is the knowledge that he will, in all likelihood, die before you, unless an accident comes your way. That, and the slow change in the person that you care about so much is heart rending…"
"It must have been worse in your situation though," replied Skylar. "He was your family, someone that you had seen grow up alongside you…"
"It was, although given the times, there were a lot of other people that were losing younger brothers. The Vietnam War was still a factor then; my other brother was one of many people of his age group that fled to Canada to avoid the draft; had it not been for his condition, then there is no doubt in my mind that Thomas would have been drafted in his stead. Seth is lucky in that he has so many of his friends around that will care for him; Thomas had his friends, but some of them went to war and never returned…"
"He will always have me, and the others. There is one thing that does concern me though; I don't think that he has told his family yet, and he has to…"
"He doesn't have to, and I don't imagine that he will, if I have read the situation correctly. There have been a lot of parents visiting over the years, and as wife of the Principal I met most of them. There were some that I liked immensely, and others that I hated more or less of sight - Nick's father for a start. However, I have no opinion on Seth's parents as I have never met them; in fact, I don't think any member of staff has ever met Mr and Mrs Kennedy. Seth arrived here on the first day of term alone, and to my knowledge, he hasn't seen his parents since that day. It is a horrible state of affairs, but he has not let it destroy him; it has made him self reliant and confident. My hope is that if such a desertion has not destroyed his spirits, then neither will his condition."