217.

After holidays, even Halloween, which, compared to others, did not require a ton of effort, Brooke always appreciated the ensuing down time. She spent the first week of November completing household chores, researching preschools, and enjoying quiet days with Sofia and evenings with Sonny. The couple even managed to go out to dinner by themselves, leaving Sofia in the care of Aidan who was coming around more often and slowly opening back up to the family. Then, on a cloudy, blustery afternoon, Brooke opened an email she had been anticipating for several weeks. "Son," she said, holding her phone out in front of her as if it were going to combust at any minute, "Oh shit, I got in!"

Sonny squinted to read the message, grinned, grabbed her, and whirled her around. "Congratulations, baby," he said, grinning and kissing her, "I'm so happy for you! Even though I knew you were a lock."

Brooke took a deep breath and read the email again. "I can't believe it. I mean, I knew I had the qualifications, I guess, I can't believe…I went for it."

"You did," Sonny said, "And I can believe it. Brooke, you never give yourself enough credit. Look at you-an awesome mom and wife, you were a great teacher, and now you're gonna channel it all, all those skills, into helping other people. You were born for this."

Sonny had a tendency to exaggerate, but Brooke couldn't help but agree. Her own experiences were a major factor in her decision to go back to school, and she was certain she could be a force for good in the world as a therapist. Sweetening the deal was that a handful of classes she'd taken to complete her first master's degree would count toward this one. Once certified, she could set her own schedule and take on clients as time allowed. Finally, she had found a path on which she could be present for her daughter and find professional satisfaction.

"I don't know about born for it," Brooke said, swaying in Sonny's arms, "But this is where I'm at. And it's right. I know it."

"So do I." Sonny didn't say as much, but his wife immediately felt lighter and the energy that had attracted him from the minute they met returned. "We should celebrate. Call Aidan?"

"I think he he's working…"

"Then Sof's coming along. C'mon. Let's go."

…

The first person to greet Ed and Olivia after school was not Noah, but a bouncy, smiling Mia. "Hi Ed! Hi Livia! Hi Babies!" She said, growling the twins' greeting. She crouched in front of the stroller and made a funny face at them. Maggie and Wyatt smiled back politely as if they wanted to remind Mia they were no longer infants and not so easily entertained.

"Hi Mia," Olivia said sweetly, "It's good to see you! Did you have a fun Halloween?"

Mia scrunched her nose. "Nah, no trick-or-treating, only a 'dult party. But," she added with a grin, "Lotsa cake and candy!"

"That's the idea," Ed remarked.

Maggie twisted around so she could make eye contact with her parents, "You gah candy?" She asked hopefully.

Ed grinned at her, "All out, Maggs," he replied, "But we can stop for some on the way home."

"Lucky!" Mia said. She looked past Ed and Olivia, trying to spot her nanny.

Olivia followed her gaze, but didn't see the familiar face. More pressing though, was Noah's whereabouts. She asked Mia and the little girl informed her that Noah had gone to the art room at the end of the day to pick up his project from the art room. "He got to do pott'ry," Mia explained, "Cause he was all done with Mathlympics."

"Mathlympics?" Olivia asked, feeling guilty for being unfamiliar with the program.

"Yeah, it's on the computer," Mia said matter-of-factly, "You go on different levels and have challenges and when you're finished you get the gold medal."

"What about silver and bronze?" Ed asked.

Confused, Mia furrowed her brow. "There's only gold," she informed him.

Ed frowned. "So everyone wins," he muttered.

Olivia nudged him.

"Oh! There's Tasha!" Unprompted, Mia hugged Maggie and Wyatt then Ed and Olivia, said goodbye, and trotted off to her nanny who was looking impatient as usual. Ed and Olivia said goodbye in response, but there was no way Mia heard them.

Ten minutes later, when Ed was about to go inside to locate their son, Noah emerged, escorted by the art teacher. He gave Olivia and Ed a wave and headed back inside. Noah held a small box with both hands. Instead of skipping over to his parents as usual, he walked slowly, careful not to jostle the contents.

"NO! NO! Whashagot, NO?" Maggie squealed.

"Chr'ma'present," Wyatt said.

"Nope," Noah said, "It's jus' a cup for pencils or pens."

"Can I open it?" Olivia asked.

"Sure." Noah handed her the box and tugged on his backpack straps, waiting for her reaction.

The whole family had a piece of Noah's pottery. Caroline had the most-two small bowls, a mug and saucer, and a piece that was supposed to be a deck of cards but ended up as a blue rectangular block. Olivia lifted the cup out of the box and immediately saw how Noah's technique had improved. The cup's exterior and edges were smooth and the rim uniformly jutted out slightly at the top. "I love it," she said, "And what a beautiful color."

Noah giggled.

"What's so funny, sweet boy?"

"I hadta hunt for dat color!" He said of the deep hunter green hue, "Mr. Newman thought he lost me in da paint closet!"

Olivia and Ed exchanged amused expressions. They imagined the teacher waiting patiently and then probably a bit impatiently for Noah to choose exactly the right shade. Or maybe he simply attended to other things while the Tucker kid nosed around among the jars.

"So you got to make this cup for doing well in math?" Olivia asked.

"Yep! Got da gold. But, Noah's smile faded slightly, "Everrbody gets da gold in Mathlympics so it's not really winning."

Olivia didn't need to look at Ed. She could feel the smugness radiating from his body.

"Plus it was easy."

Neither Olivia nor Ed had any doubt this was true. Math was not Noah's favorite subject, but it was his strongest and the work rarely challenged him.

"Well, should we get goin?" Ed gripped the stroller's handle and popped a wheelie. The twins shrieked with delight.

"Yes, let's," Olivia said.

"We got any errands?" Noah asked, making his parents chuckle.

"I don't think so bud," Ed replied, "Do you need anything?"

Noah twisted his lips, "Ummm…no, but can we go to da park for a little bit?"

"Of course," Olivia said.

"Thanks. 'Cause I didn't get to go outside today!"

"You didn't?" Olivia asked, "Why not?"

"Cause some kids were talking during da tornado drill!" Noah exclaimed, "So we had fifteen minutes of timeout and then I wanted to go paint my cup instead of recess."

Ed clenched his jaw. Olivia was annoyed at the blanket punishment, but conceded Noah did choose to miss what little outside time had been available. She patted his arm and cheerfully asked Noah which park he would like to visit.

"Is it gonna get cold really fast?"

"Probably not quite yet," Olivia replied, "Why?"

"Cause if it's gonna get cold fast we should go to da one close to home."

Olivia wrapped an arm around him and kissed his head. "You are so wise, sweet Noah. I love you."

"Love you Mommy," Noah replied, "But I don't love being cold."

Olivia smiled, "Well, we're in luck. We have mittens and hats in the stroller just in case."

Noah giggled and said, "You and Daddy are wise, too."

"All Mommy," Ed admitted. "She remembers everything."

…

Ed and Olivia watched the local news with sadness, dejection, and, worst of all, an unspoken, somber understanding that some things may never change. Over the course of twenty-four hours, five people had lost their lives, four at the hands of NYPD officers and another, one of the shooters, had taken his own life. At a commercial break, Ed turned to his wife to ask if she was ready for him to start preparing dinner when he noticed the three kids standing behind them.

"Oh, hey," he said, "Didn't know you were there."

Maggie ignored the remark, and, with her eyes still trained on the screen, murmured, "That's so sad."

"Terrible." Wyatt added in a voice no louder than a whisper.

Noah nodded. "Did the police tell their families before they put all this on the news?" He asked.

"They did," Olivia replied. She stood up and motioned for the trio to come over to the other side of the couch. The shootings occurred in three different boroughs with four different contexts, and she assumed her tech-savvy brood had already Googled the details. "The police always notify families first, or, they try their best to."

"Sometimes they don't?" Maggie asked, wide-eyed.

Olivia brushed a few strands of Maggie's hair back up toward her ponytail. "Sometimes…information gets out and the police can't stop it. If people put videos on social media, that kind of thing."

"Mom?" Wyatt asked in a voice that suggested he was about to broach a serious topic, "Do the police feel bad when they shoot someone?"

Olivia felt Ed's hand on her back and her heart pounded in her chest. She knew Wyatt was really asking if she had felt bad when she pulled the trigger. The subject had come up before-the internet kept no secrets-but, last time, the kids had been younger and hadn't considered how the incidents had mentally affected their mother.

"They do, honey," Olivia replied, successfully hiding her agony. "They-"

"That's prolly why the guy committed suicide," Noah surmised.

Ed cleared his throat, intent on steering the conversation in a different direction but not confident he could do so. Parenting in this age where there was no shortage or censorship of information was difficult, but making it even more challenging for him and Olivia was that their kids paid attention to everything. He was certain Maggie and Wyatt were the only seventh graders with news apps installed (and used!) on their phones. Noah began his day with Apple News' morning brief and listened to podcasts during his commute to school. The Tuckers were very in tune with what was going on in the world, but it threw their parents for a loop more often than not.

"I can't explain why," Ed chimed in, "But I can say that everyone I had to interview afterward-they all wished things would've gone down differently."

Olivia nodded in agreement and studied her three teenagers. Maggie, always the easiest to appease or at least distract, appeared ready to move on to other subjects or maybe even retreat to her room until dinnertime. Wyatt ruefully glanced back at the news coverage and then looked down at his hands. Noah took a deep breath and sighed.

"Whatcha thinkin, bud?" Ed asked him.

Noah shrugged, but delivered an honest response. "It's just…it's like there's no good answer. Nothing anyone does or says is going to do any good. And I know there's gonna be a huge debate about police, there always is, but, it's like, I always wonder, how did it get to that point? Not to the point where a cop shoots someone, but back even farther. Like, the one guy was robbing a bodega. How did he get there? To where he had to go and rob a bodega for money or food or money for drugs or whatever?"

Maggie and Wyatt stared at their brother in awe. Olivia could see their brains frantically searching for the answer.

"I think everyone has a different story of how they got where they are," Olivia said, "Some people are luckier than others, smarter than others…there's no one answer."

"I know," Noah said, "But it's, well, that's what I want to know when I hear things like this."

"Me too," Wyatt said.

"Same," Maggie said and then added with serious sass. "And you know what else I want to know?"

"What's that honey?" Olivia asked, smiling.

"Are we eating tonight or just being bummed out because I'm starving!"

Olivia reached over and gave her a squeeze. "We're going to eat," she said, "And I'm hungry, too. Ed? What can we help with?"

"We're having tacos," Ed jumped to his feet, "So I need someone on guac duty, someone on chopping duty, and if you want rice, someone to open those little pouches and put them in the microwave."

"Mom, you can do that," Noah joked.

"Very funny," Olivia retorted.

"Mom, how come you don't cook?" Maggie asked.

"I do cook."

"How come you don't cook as often as Dad?" Wyatt clarified. Maggie nodded in approval and he smirked back at her.

"Well," Olivia slung an arm around Wyatt's neck and they moved to the kitchen, "It sort of naturally happened that way…I'm not exactly sure…but when he first made tacos for us, well, I knew he would be the lead chef forever." She grinned when she saw Ed smirking while he stood over the range.

"You should open a taco truck, Dad," Maggie suggested.

"I'll look into it."

"We'll all help!"

Noah laughed. "I dunno…all of us in a food truck?"

"Well, just Mom and Dad when we're at school."

Ed turned around and asked Olivia if she wanted to run a taco truck with him.

She winked and replied, "Let me think about it and get back to you."

Ed smiled, very well aware his cheeks were red. "Okay."

….

With the kitchen clean, Ed gulped the last of his coffee and stared into the middle of the room at the twins' toys. He had read somewhere that kids function better when they don't have many toys to choose from, but he and Olivia had obviously not turned that message into practice. Behind him, the coffee maker beeped, signaling it was turning off. "Liv?" Ed called, "Want anymore coffee?"

Olivia rounded the corner from the hallway into the room and shook her head, "I've had enough," She walked over and gave him a kiss on the lips, "Thanks."

Ed couldn't get his attention away from her attire. She had chosen a pair of dark brown slacks, a matching sweater, and topped it off with a sleek leather blazer. "You look great," he rasped. As he gazed into her eyes he saw she'd put on more makeup than usual and expertly paired her eye and lip colors. Her hair fell in waves past her shoulders, and all the memories of seeing her at work and getting weak-kneed came rushing back.

"Thank you," she said, "I wasn't sure what to wear…so, I went with work clothes."

"They may get ya to sit at the prosecutor's table."

Olivia forced a laugh. Despite her confident appearance, she wasn't sure if attending Latimer's allocation and sentencing was a good idea. She had gone back and forth, from one side of the fence to the other, before finally deciding she would go.

"Sure you don't want me to go with you?" Ed asked. He was past the point of asking her if she was sure she wanted to attend.

"Yes, I'm sure. It'll be quick and then I'm going to grab lunch with Rollins if she's free. I know how you love sitting in on girl talk."

Ed smirked, "I can't imagine you and Rollins girl-talking in the traditional sense of the phrase."

"I suppose you're spot on there, Captain."

"Call me if you need to," he gave her a gentle kiss on the lips, "And if you wanna wear that blazer to dinner tonight…well, let's just say that's okay with me."

This made Olivia laugh. She let her forehead fall into his chest and Ed brushed the strands of hair from her eyes when she looked up again. "I was going to go with something a little more casual, but if this is what you want…"

"It doesn't matter to me."

Squinting her eyes, Olivia replied, "I have a lot of evidence to the contrary, sir."

"Makes me think of all the times I'd walk into your office or you'd walk into mine and we had that little secret, ya know?"

"I know."

"I miss those days, well, maybe miss isn't the right word." Ed's eyes drifted to the ceiling as he searched for the right ones.

"I get it," Olivia said, "It was nice to have us to ourselves for a little while. Romantic for sure. It's something we'll always have to ourselves, actually. No one remembers it like we do."

"Perfectly said," Ed cupped her face and kissed her again, more firmly this time and he hoped she wouldn't mind if she had to reapply her lipstick. "You coulda given me all day and I couldn't have come up with that."

"You're underestimating yourself as usual, Ed Tucker," She squeezed his hands and kissed the top of each one. "I love you."

"Love you."

"What time will G be here?"

"I told her six. Thought maybe we could go somewhere for drinks first?"

"Love it. I'll see you later."

"Yes you will."

….

Lieutenant Benson's articulation of "compartmentalizing" was close to a verbatim replay of what she had told Pippa a week earlier and summarized for Tucker the day before. Far more interested in what she had to say than the nuts and bolts of Abraham's sentencing and future investigations, members of the media peppered her with follow-up questions until the Chief stepped in and abruptly ended the Q and A session. Relieved her part was over and weary of making the same point a dozen different ways, Olivia stepped back into the line of NYPD officials. To her right, at the end, stood Ed Tucker. He leaned forward and offered her a quick, appreciative nod, maybe even a wink before he straightened up, stiffened his jaw, and stared into the press scrum.

On the way out of the room, Chief Dodds planted himself next to Benson and remained in her ear all the way out of the building. Ed strategically wove his way through the crowd and bumped into them in the main lobby. "Lieutenant, Chief," he said gruffly, "Thanks for bein' here."

"All the thanks goes to Lieutenant Benson," Chief Dodds said proudly, "If they weren't on our side an hour ago, they are now. Winning combination of fierce dedication to public safety and compassion. Can't beat that."

In an attempt to gauge her reaction, Ed glanced at Olivia but had to almost immediately divert his eyes so as to not arouse suspicion. The Chief had a dollars-and-cents, black-and-white approach to public relations which often diminished the enormity of whatever case they were trying to spin in NYPD's favor. It irritated Olivia, especially now when he had an opportunity to be less guarded but chose to maintain the messaging they'd tailored for public consumption.

"Yes," Ed agreed, "Thank you, Lieutenant. Glad you were up there on our side today."

"Everyday," The Chief chimed in.

It was all Ed could do to not roll his eyes.

"You're welcome," Olivia finally said. "Now, I, if you don't mind, I need to get back to the precinct." She checked her watch then pulled on her coat. The belt of the trench got caught in its folds and Ed freed it with a quick flick of his fingers. "Thanks," she whispered and dared to shoot him a little smile.

Ed nodded and watched her tie the belt instead of buckling it and pull her hat and gloves from the pockets. As luck would have it, the Chief spotted someone he knew, said a hurried goodbye, and left them alone. Olivia tugged on the cap and gloves and Ed had to remind himself to breathe.

"Need a ride?" He asked.

"No…car's out front."

"I'll walk you."

"Okay."

As soon as they were outdoors, Olivia walked closer to him so that their arms touched as they swung at their sides. They were too exposed for her to take his arm, so this was the next best thing. "I'm glad you were there today," she said, staring straight ahead. "It wasn't easy for me."

"Dealing with the press?"

"No, the press itself is not usually an issue for me, but this was different. It's personal. I almost felt like I was betraying Pippa because I'd said the exact same thing to her. So…it was nice to have you there…a familiar, friendly face…"

Ed waited for Olivia to finish her thought, and when he didn't he took a stab at completing it for her. "...who understands how uniquely hard this one was for you."

For the first time since they left the building, Olivia turned and met his eyes. "Exactly."

"Sure you have to go back right now?" Ed asked, slowing the pace.

"I have time for a coffee," Olivia said.

"There's a place around the corner. That okay?" Ed's eyes darted around for prying eyes. It wouldn't be a huge shock if someone saw them having coffee together after the presser and he was ready to make this point if needed.

"Yes," Olivia said assuredly, "Let's go."

The shop did not have tables, only a ledge that ran along the street-facing windows, and Ed and Olivia pulled up stools at the one free corner.

"Last night was fun," Olivia said. She carefully removed the lid on her cup and let the steam warm her face.

"Yeah it was. Sorry about Noah grabbing that soda."

"Ha! A few sips of Coke won't hurt him."

"Funny I don't remember freaking out about soda or sugar or anything parents today are supposed to freak out about. But you don't seem to be joining that club."

"Not yet," Olivia replied.

She tilted her head to one side and smiled at him. Hat still on, her hair flipped out at her ears and Ed wondered if she knew how sexy she looked.

"You look like you want to ask me a question," Olivia said.

A smile crossed Ed's face. He wanted to ask her dozens of questions. Would she be interested in going to his place instead of back to work? Was she crazy about him like he was crazy about her? Should he have stayed the night last night? He settled for a less intense inquiry. "Just wonderin' if you were free for dinner again tonight?"

"I am. Let me see if Lucy can come back later."

"She doesn't have to," Ed hoped he didn't sound too eager to include Noah, "Or, uh, whatever works best."

"It would be nice to go out, just the two of us," Olivia said.

It had been a couple of weeks since Valentine's Day, their last date. "Yeah, it would be," he said softly, "I, uh, I meant, if Lucy can't come, I wouldn't mind a repeat of last night. Minus the Coke thing and with a different meal, of course."

Olivia smiled and took a drink of her coffee which had finally cooled enough to consume. "I'd love to go somewhere quiet, small, off the beaten path."

"You got it," Ed replied softly.

"And maybe Thai if Lucy can't make it?" She added with a wink.

Ed took a deep, satisfied breath and smirked. As long as she was there, he didn't care what they ate or where they went. "Sounds like a plan. I-" He groaned at the interruption from his phone. "Dammit," he muttered.

Alarmed, Olivia's eyes shot wide open. "What happened?"

"Ah, this former UC we cleared last week…three more complaints came in this morning," Ed rolled his eyes, "Never ends."

"Are they legit?"

"Not usually. I'm more annoyed that it's gonna take another week and I thought we were done with him," he grinned, "That's what I get for takin' his file back to the vault."

Teasing him, Olivia shook her head and cooed, "Rookie mistake…"

"I was trying to clear my desk," Ed explained with a shrug.

Olivia leaned toward him, "Never a good idea to completely clear your desk," she said in a low voice.

"I guess not."

"Maybe…don't try it tonight?"

Was she trying to kill him?

Ed swallowed hard then answered.

"I won't."

…

While Olivia was in the bathroom getting ready and Ed prepared the twins' dinner, Noah wandered around the apartment, phone in hand, Face Timing with Sarah. "So G's gonna be here in 'bout half an hour," he said, "Maggs and Wyatt are eating dinner now and I'm gonna eat with G. What are you doin' t'night, Sare Bear?"

"We're over here keeping Carmen company," Sarah reported. She angled the camera at her mother-in-law and Carmen waved, "She can't really move, so we're watching shows and eating popcorn."

"Popcorn for dinner?"

"Maybe," Sarah joked, "No, actually, I don't know what we're having. Justin's out at the market shopping so I'll text you later and let you know."

"You gonna be able to pick me up next week?" Noah asked.

"Of course!"

"Is Carmen's ankle really busted up?"

In the kitchen, Ed overheard Noah's unusual use of busted up, smiled, and wondered where he'd picked it up. In front of him the twins devoured their elbow macaroni with red sauce and garlic bread. Ed was proud of himself for sneaking small chunks of broccoli and carrots into the main dish.

"It's pretty bad," Sarah said, "Her cast is up to her knee right now but in a couple of weeks she'll get a smaller one."

Suddenly, an idea came into Noah's head and he ran back to his bedroom. He propped the phone against his bedside lamp and produced a small cup from a box. "Sare Bear, you gotta come get dis and take it to Carmen," he said, filling the frame completely with his work of art. "I made it at school."

"Omigod, Noey, she'll love it!" Sarah said, lowering her voice. "I'll be quiet so it's a surprise."

Noah grinned and spoke in a hushed voice. "My teacher said you can't drink out of it," he said, "If Carmen has puzzle books, she can put her pencils in there. Or it can be a vase with flowers."

"Or both!" Sarah said brightly.

"Yep!" Noah's cheerful expression quickly became serious. "Sare Bear, you gotta come get dis tomorrow," he said.

"Okay, Noey Boey, I will."

"Promise?"

"I promise. So. Mommy and Daddy have date night. What's everyone wearing?"

"Daddy isn't dressed for going out yet and Mommy isn't either," Noah replied, "But Mommy has a black jacket hanging on da chair and dat's where she hangs stuff she's gonna wear."

"Oooo," Sarah smiled broadly, "Take pictures."

Noah sighed, "I will."

"Promise, Noey! I'm living vicariously through them tonight!"

"What's vi-car-i-ous-ly?"

"Ugh," Sarah groaned, "I knew you were going to ask me that! It means…you get happiness from what other people are doing. So I'm happy and a little jealous Mommy and Daddy have date night tonight."

Noah shrugged. "I'm happy I get to hang out with G!"

"Oh you shall have a lovely time," Sarah said, "But it's a school night so you have to go to bed on time."

"I will. I arready did my homework and took a shower so we can play Uno and eat and dat's it!"

"Very responsible."

Noah nodded but acknowledged it was his Daddy's idea.

"As far as responsibility goes," Sarah said, "You're learning from two of the best."

"Yeah," Noah replied knowingly, "Dat's true."

…..

#Tuckson