218.

Since it had been so long since they'd been out alone, Ed felt a bit of pressure to deliver a date night that would blow Olivia away, but he ultimately decided to go with what had always worked before-drinks, dinner, and a leisurely arm-in-arm walk back home. Early on in their relationship, Ed learned that Olivia, like him, preferred quiet, smaller places where restaurant staff kept interruptions to a minimum and they could retreat into their own little world. Considering this and also that she also liked to try new things, Ed suggested a bar they used to frequent when he was at IAB and, as luck would have it, there was a new-ish wine and tapas bar around the corner.

"Ah, this place brings back memories," Olivia said of the bar after they'd taken seats on rickety stools.

Ed glanced around with a smirk on his face. He loved remembering all those times when they were so tentative around each other and wondering who would dare to touch the other's hand or arm or sneak a kiss first. "A lot of 'em," he said as moved his stool closer to hers and rested a hand on her thigh. The sparkle of her engagement and wedding ring caught his eye and he marveled at how miraculous it was that she was here with him, not as a fellow cop but as his wife.

"Sometimes I forget there was ever a time we weren't together," Olivia said.

"Readin' my mind." Ed held up his glass, "To us."

"To us," Olivia repeated with a smile, touched her glass to his, and took a sip.

"You didn't say much about today," Ed said of the Latimer hearing.

The muscles in Olivia's face twitched for a few seconds, but she recovered and managed an expression that was a combination of relief and peace. "It was strange to see him again," Olivia said, "The last time I saw him in person was after he was arrested the first time. He looked like the same smug bastard…only now he has two children who lost a father and a mother."

"They find the grandparents?"

"His parents, yes," Olivia replied, "He had a type-he went after women who had nobody. Mia, his first wife, had no family around to speak of, I forget if they were dead or estranged, same thing, really, and this poor woman's parents are dead."

"Lunatic," Ed muttered.

Olivia took another drink and nodded. "So, Rollins said social services was vetting the grandparents extra closely, whatever that means. At least they're safe. Or, I should say, at least they're with familiar people. I can't imagine…I think that's what bothered me the most at the precinct…seeing those kids, the rug swept from under their lives…how devastated they must be. Can you imagine how devastated and confused Noah would be if he woke up tomorrow and we were gone?"

There it was. Ed had been waiting for her to come clean, to admit what was really bothering her deep down in the darkest depths of her soul. He knew she would reveal it eventually, he even knew what she was going to say, but he didn't prompt her. She needed to get it out in her own time and on her own terms.

"I can't imagine it," Ed replied, "Or maybe I don't want to. It's too heartbreaking."

"Mmmhmm…"

"And we don't have to," Ed added.

Olivia sighed. "I think I get so relieved our children won't have to deal with what I had to deal with as a child or what I've seen other kids go through…it makes me nervous. Like, I don't want to get too cocky about it."

Ed puffed out his chest. "I'm very cocky about us and our kids."

He succeeded in making Olivia laugh. She put her hand over his and leaned in for a kiss. "I know you are."

"I mean, Noah's the smartest kid in the school, Wyatt's a movie star, and Maggie…well…that little girl can spin around and around dozens of times and only get a little bit dizzy. I'm also certain she's perfected my IAB glare."

"They are perfect. And yes, she has."

"Welll, the twins did get a rough start at preschool…the tattoos?"

"I think they've redeemed themselves."

"Yeah, I suppose they have. Hey, speaking of tattoos…are we going to allow that for real?"

"Are we going to be able to stop them if that's really what they want? And…it's not like they're taboo anymore like they were when I was younger. I remember seeing a teacher out in the neighborhood on a weekend and she had a tattoo and I thought it was the most scandalous thing."

The anecdote amused Ed. "I bet you tossed and turned for a week wondering what to do with that information."

"I did…and I don't think I told anyone. Even my mom. So it became a little secret the teacher and I shared even though she didn't know I knew." A wistful expression crossed Olivia's face, "I would hope the kids at least get something meaningful."

Ed glanced at his left bicep and joked, "Maybe I'll get your name on my arm. You know, maybe written in script through a heart?"

Raising her eyebrows suggestively, Olivia replied, "I don't know if I want anything on those arms of yours. I think they're perfect as is."

"Yeah?" Ed leaned forward and smirked.

"Yeah."

…

Babysitting for the Tucker kids was never difficult in the most common sense of the word, but it could be challenging, especially now that the twins were older. G couldn't remember exactly when she'd last watched the trio, but she immediately realized the twins were no longer babies, no matter how often Noah referred to them as such. A ball of energy, Maggie skipped around, singing songs to herself or narrating whatever she or her brothers were doing. At one point her long brown hair, hanging loosely, started to aggravate her. "Nee a hea'ban, nee'a'hea'ban," she murmured until she found a hair band and asked G to give her a ponytail. Wyatt had been quiet at first, but soon proved to be willing and able to match his sister's energy. Periodically he would glance at G with a smirk reminiscent of his father's. The twinkle in his eyes was a teeny bit apologetic and it melted G's heart. Noah tolerated the three-year-old silliness for most of the evening, but he kept a close eye on the clock. At ten minutes after seven, he announced it was time for stories and bed but also made sure to remind G he was allowed to stay up an extra hour. She could tell it was extremely important for him to have that time to himself.

"Where should we read?" G asked.

"On da floor in their room," Noah replied.

Maggie and Wyatt compliantly bounced into their bedroom and each chose a book from the shelf. The twins' floor was the same parquet as the main living area, but most of it was covered by a thick shag rug that was so comfortable G thought it could easily serve as a guest bed in a pinch. Noah sat down to G's right, Wyatt on the left, and Maggie plopped down in Noah's lap and put her head on G's shoulder. G wondered if they got this comfortable with anyone, any adult-sized person capable of reading. Maggie, Wyatt, and Noah did not hesitate one iota at snuggling in beside her. G couldn't remember ever being so comfortable with anyone, ever, in her life. These kids wholeheartedly trusted her. She hoped their innocent, unsullied lives lasted as long as possible.

The twins were yawning by the time G finished the second story and they did not beg for a third. "Dey know only two allowed," Noah remarked before he and the twins made an elaborate show of hugging and saying goodnight to one another. First they group-hugged, then Maggie and Wyatt hugged, then Noah hugged them separately, and, finally, the twins climbed into their beds.

"Tuck, G!" Wyatt said.

"Ti-tuck!" Maggie requested.

G followed the twins' tucking-in directions and stood in the middle of the room. "Okay," she said, "Goodnight Maggie and Wyatt."

Maggie murmured a response and Wyatt slurred his, for his fist was already near his mouth. G expected resistance. She thought one of them, Maggie most likely, would whimper and ask to stay up with her and Noah, but the room fell silent and Wyatt's breathing suggested he was already on his way to a deep slumber. G and Noah tiptoed out of the room and left the door slightly ajar.

"Do you wanna play a game?" Noah asked, "Or watch a show?"

G chose the game because she was worried she would fall asleep if they sat down in front of the screen.

"Kay, but we can't get too excited," Noah said, "Da other night Daddy had eleven cards in Uno and den he won and he shouted when he won and Maggs woke up."

"Oh no," G replied, "I can understand why your Dad was excited but I hope Maggie went back to sleep."

"She did. Preschool makes 'em tired and I don't think those babies take long naps anymore." Noah retrieved the Uno deck from the credenza drawer and joined G at the table. "I'm not good at shuffling yet," he said, "So can you do it please, G?"

"Sure."

"I'm practicing."

"That's how ya get good," G said, "Keep it up." She expertly shuffled the cards and handed over the deck, "Do you want to deal first?"

"Sure."

With his tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth, Noah passed the cards back and forth. He took his time, careful to make sure they weren't sticking together, and G's eyes darted around the room. She liked to see which photos had been changed and which had stayed the same. Olivia or Ed-probably Olivia-had already placed an updated Halloween snap of the kids and Caroline in one of the frames.

Before she and Noah started the game, she asked about the silver gift bag sitting at the end of the table and guessed it was someone's birthday.

"Nah," Noah said, "Dat's a present for Justy's Mom Carmen. She hurt her leg. Sare Bear was 'posedta come and get it today but she had a long meeting and den she hadta go get Pearl so she's gonna come t'morrow instead."

"That's nice of you to get Carmen a present."

Noah smiled. "You want me to make you somethin' next time I do pott'ry?"

"Sure."

"What do you want?"

"Surprise me."

"Kay," Noah said with a grin as if he already had an idea of what to make. "Arright, let's play! You first!"

G had a good hand, but she graciously played a green two instead of her Skip or Draw cards.

Noah was not as kind or sensitive to G's feelings when it came to competition. He laid down a Skip of his own and then a Draw Four.

"Whoa," G said, "We're cutthroat tonight."

"What's cutthroat?"

"It means you are serious about winning," G answered, hoping Ed and Olivia would forgive her for imparting the new vocabulary word onto their son.

"Ah, yeah, we're very ser'ous about winning," Noah said "Gramma's da seriousest."

G pictured the spunky, spiky-haired Caroline and nodded. She had no doubt she was the most cutthroat card and gang player of the entire Tucker clan. But, she thought as she looked across the table at the two cards in her opponent's hand, Noah wasn't far behind.

…..

Ed stroked Olivia's bare arm and stared straight ahead at the impressionist style painting on her bedroom wall. It depicted a generic city skyline, and the artist used soft blue, green, and lavender watercolor hues. Ed thought it was an oddly peaceful depiction of what was usually a cacophonous environment, but, he figured, perhaps any place seemed peaceful from a distance.

"You know," Olivia cooed, "I always assumed you had a dog. Did you ever have one?"

Ed chuckled at the random comment and question. "Nope. Never did. Why'd you think that?"

"I have no idea."

"Girls never asked, and I never thought about getting one. I was never home enough. Would've added to everything and everyone else I didn't pay enough attention to."

Olivia kissed his chest, silently apologizing for unintentionally bringing up a painful truth from his past.

"What made ya ask?"

She heaved a contented sigh, "I was just thinking about you."

"I'm right here."

"I know…but…I can't help but rewind everything in my head. The old conversations, the sparring-"

"-the hostility-"

"-there was some of that, yes," Olivia said and kissed him again, "And the dog thing popped into my mind. When I pictured you at home, going about your regular life, there were no kids, no wife, but there was a dog."

"A lonely, miserable sonofabitch and a dog?"

Olivia lifted her head and kissed him on the cheek, "Now that's a little harsh."

"Not far from the truth."

Olivia sat up and bit her lip suggestively as she gazed at the bare, toned top half of his body. "I need something to drink. Do you want anything?"

"You back here in thirty seconds."

She grinned and left the bed. Before going out to the kitchen she plucked a long t-shirt from the top of her bureau and put it on. When she returned, she sat cross-legged on the bed, sipped her water, and shifted her gaze from the window to Ed and back again.

"I'm so happy," she murmured.

Ed had grown close enough to Olivia to know how elusive and nuanced happiness was for her. The statement came out almost like a question, so he put a hand on her knee and replied softly yet confidently. "You are."

"I'm starting to rely on nights like this," she said.

"So am I," Ed replied. He was not selfishly trying to affirm her feelings. Every afternoon, as the day wound to a close, Ed found himself hoping he would spend the evenings with Olivia and Noah. Their jobs prevented a nightly routine, but the relationship was progressing in a direction where Ed wasn't sure how much longer they could keep things under wraps. "So, here's a, uh, confession of sorts."

Intrigued, Olivia leaned in.

"I was asked to do K-9 training my second year on the force. I turned it down."

"Why?" Olivia asked, although she understood why the assignment would not have been appealing.

"The work seemed interesting," Ed replied, "But I couldn't imagine, at the time, that level of commitment…and then, if somethin' happened to the dog? I would've never forgiven myself. It wasn't for me." Noticing the pained expression on her face, he raised his eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said, "I, um, was expecting a different answer."

"Such as?"

"One a little less…personal. But, I suppose," she put her glass on the nightstand and slowly crawled toward him, "I should get used to personal."

"Yeah," Ed gasped as she straddled him, "Yeah you should."

…

The waiter approached the couple seated at the front corner table intent on checking in even though the pair, while polite, clearly did not desire many interruptions over the course of their meal. He emptied the wine bottle, dividing it between their glasses, and asked if they needed to see a dessert menu. The man glanced at the woman, then, smirking, asked for an order of cannoli to go and for the check. The waiter nodded and walked away but not before noticing the man take his wife's hand and kiss it for seemingly no reason.

The waiter keyed in the dessert order and verbally reminded the new guy in the kitchen it was to-go. He robotically ripped the receipts from the machine as they were printed and asked the bartender for one of the small wooden clipboards they used to present checks. She handed one over with a gruff here ya go, and the waiter screwed up his face, wondering for the millionth time how such a petite woman could have such a deep, gravelly voice.

"That for the lovebirds?" She asked.

The waiter leaned on the bar. He wasn't going anywhere until he had the to-go cannoli. "Yup."

"And you hate them because…?"

"Ah," he replied with a shrug, "I'm just tired."

"They're cute," The bartender said. She began tidying her garnishes and stealing glances at the couple. "I love her jacket."

This point was incontrovertible. The woman was wearing a sleek black leather casual blazer over an emerald green turtleneck sweater. She was gorgeous, but the jacket stole the show. They didn't look or act wealthy, but he wondered if the woman was possibly famous from years ago, maybe someone his parents would have known from television or the movies.

"Hopefully I'm gonna love the tip," he scooped the dessert bag the new guy handed off to him and took it and the clipboard over to the table. He made a loop around the dining room to give them time to scrounge up a credit card; however, he saw the man slide two bills under the clasp. They each finished off their wine and stood to leave. Before the waiter could offer change, the man waved his hand in the air and told him to keep it.

"Wow," the waiter said upon returning to his spot across from the bartender, "That was generous."

"It's the holidays," she said with a shrug.

"It's not even Thanksgiving."

The bartender jerked her head toward the front of the restaurant. The man held the door and the woman paused to give him a kiss before leading the way outside. On the sidewalk, she took his arm and they slowly walked out of sight.

"Those people," she said assuredly, "Start celebrating as early as possible."

"You think you're ever gonna be that happy?" The waiter asked.

"I am that happy," she replied sarcastically, "Can't you tell?"

At that, the waiter and bartender shared a laugh and turned their attention to side work and other customers.

…

Maggie danced around the table (she was supposed to be setting it) and sang her own version of Auld Lang Syne. She was in an especially chipper mood, for she and Wyatt, for the first time in their lives, had managed to stay awake until midnight and ring in the New Year with everyone else. It had only taken her eight years, but Maggie finally was a member of the club. Even better, despite what she'd been told all her years, she woke up only a little later than normal and she Was! Not! Tired! It seemed half of her parents' job was telling her and her brothers to go to bed so they wouldn't be tired the next day, but this requirement was turning out to be untrue. Maggie was not ready to accuse her parents of lying, she assumed they had simply been miscalculating the number of hours of sleep she and her siblings needed.

"Mommy, when are the people gonna be here?" Maggie asked impatiently. She knew "brunch" meant a combination of breakfast and lunch and the morning hours were almost over. When Sarah took her for brunch, she always picked Maggie up at ten-thirty o'clock sharp and ten-thirty was gone.

"Noon," Olivia answered. She was crouched in front of the oven inspecting the frittata. "Ed, it looks runny in the middle."

"It's only been in thirty minutes. Directions say forty-five."

"Oh," she stood up and smiled, "I thought you said thirty."

Ed slid his arms around her waist, "No," he replied gently, "Forty-five."

She gave him a kiss. "I guess I wasn't listening."

"Stop worrying," Ed implored, "We're good. Everything's all set. Food's gonna be great, and, if it's not, we have plenty of mimosa."

Olivia laughed. "I knew we should have hired a caterer."

"For nine people?"

"Fourteen including us."

Ed shrugged, "Like I said, we'll taste everything, and if it's horrible, we'll make a lot of toasts."

Olivia shot him a loving eye roll. "What would I do without you?"

"I don't know," Ed replied in an amused tone of voice, "Hire a caterer?"

"Definitely."

Maggie skipped into the kitchen and stood, arms akimbo, at the end of the island. "How come I'm da only one working around here?" She asked.

Ed and Olivia regarded their pretending-to-be-angry daughter with a combination of amusement and sympathy.

"Sweet girl, we've been working to get the food ready all morning."

Maggie considered this. "Ok but what 'bout Wyatt and Noah?"

"They cleaned the floors and the bathrooms. Remember?"

"You," Ed tapped her nose, "Waited until the last minute to set the table, so it seems like you're the only one who's been working."

Maggie smiled, conceding his point. "I don't have any more spoons."

"In the dishwasher."

"Kay," she said cheerfully. "And den I'm gonna make place cards."

"That'll be so nice, honey," Olivia replied. "The cards are in your art box."

Ed chimed in, "Make sure I'm sitting next to Mom."

"Daddy," Maggie rolled her eyes, "You always sit next to Mommy."

Ed held up his hands. "Just makin' sure."

"Don't forget Sam," Olivia said. "He's still in the city and he'll be here."

"I won't," Maggie said, "Since Sam and G are comin' Noah hasta sit with us at da small table!"

"I'm sure he won't mind."

"No," Maggie said confidently, "He won't. Hey! Why isn't Aidan coming?"

"He's with his boyfriend," Olivia said, "Remember? They went to Colorado to ski for Christmas and New Years?"

"Oh, yeah," Maggie said, "I wanna do that."

"Ski?" Ed asked.

"Yes!"

"We can get ya lessons," Ed replied, "I didn't know you were interested."

"I jus' decided," Maggie said, "And I could be in the Olympics."

Ed kissed the top of her head and handed over the missing spoons. "We'll start with a couple of lessons at Mt. Peter. Maybe I'll take some, too."

"YES!"

In the kitchen, Olivia bit her lip and murmured, "Oh, God…"

…..

Like his siblings, Noah went to bed compliantly but only after spending several minutes brushing his teeth, flossing, and rinsing with mouthwash. Now that he had permanent teeth, he explained, it was extra important to take care of them. Instead of G reading a story, Noah read a chapter of Real Pigeons Fight Crime on the couch while G flipped through a magazine. She had her laptop with her but she felt bad sitting in front of a screen while Noah read a book. Work could wait. When he finished his chapter, Noah sat up, yawned, and announced he was ready for bed.

After hugs and tucking him in, G made her way out of the room but Noah called her back. "G?" He asked, "Can you turn off da lamp in Mommy and Daddy's room? It's bothering me."

"Um, sure."

"Thanks." Noah shifted to his side and tugged the covers under his chin.

Noah's request was reasonable and G was certain Ed and Olivia would want her to follow it, but it always felt weird going into their bedroom. She had done so a couple of times before and she always felt terrible afterward, like she had committed the worst possible invasion of privacy.

The lamp Noah referenced was one of two sconces situated to the left of the door, on either side of a mirror hanging over a four-drawer bureau. Either the sconces were connected to different switches or a bulb was out in the far one. G tried the panel by the door to no avail, so she walked farther into the room and found another panel to the left of the bathroom door. The bedroom and bathroom were far tidier than G remembered from last time. Even so, Ed and Olivia had draped t-shirts and sweatpants over the side of the tub, and their bath towels were piled in a heap on the vanity. The whole scene dripped of simple, effortless comfort, and it uplifted G so much that, when she glanced at herself in the mirror on the way out, she realized she had been smiling the whole time.

One day, she thought to herself, one day I'll have something like this.

…

After leaving the restaurant, Ed and Olivia decided to walk home, but the cold wind forced them to go straight to their building rather than take a slow, meandering, long-way stroll back. They thanked G and sent her back to her apartment in an Uber despite her insistence she was fine on the subway. She always tried to politely decline the Ubers and the Tuckers always politely refused to let her do so. Finding the kids all peacefully asleep in their beds, Ed and Olivia turned off the lights and headed to their room.

"Whaddya we got goin' on tomorrow?" Ed asked as he squirted toothpaste on his toothbrush.

"Wyatt has filming in the afternoon and Brooke wanted to see if we could get together for dinner. I told you that, right?"

Ed smirked at her in the mirror. "You did. I forgot. Wyatt gonna be long?"

"No, or, well, I hope not. It's fascinating how a minute of actual screen time can take hours to get right when they film it."

"Are we going to Brooklyn for dinner?" Ed asked sheepishly.

Olivia smiled. "You didn't miss that info," she said, "We didn't discuss it."

"I'll call her in the morning."

Ed rinsed and wiped his face with a corner of one of the towels separating his sink from Olivia's. She had removed her makeup and was dabbing cream under her eyes. Ed slid his arms around her waist and planted a few innocent kisses on her neck and shoulders. She leaned back, so he kissed her again and again, ramping up the passion, until she turned around and pressed her lips to his. They had stayed out later than planned, so Ed wasn't sure if sex was on the table tonight, but Olivia apparently never had a doubt in her mind.

Her desire for him showed in every movement, every breath, and every sound. Turned on and maybe even a little nervous, Ed made sure to kiss, tease, and linger on all the right spots. He needed to make sure she knew how much he worshiped her, not only now as they moved together, perfectly synced between the sheets, but always, even in the most mundane lulls of the day.

"Liv…"

She smiled and stared into his eyes.

"Baby…"

"Ed," she pressed her forehead to his, then kissed him. "I know," she whispered, "Trust me, I know."

…..

#Tuckson