a/n: I'm back. and this chapter is dedicated to both my past self and my future self. I'm sorry for how we treated ourself, and I look forward to the day we truly escape what plagues us. This chapter is also dedicated to anyone who feels like Alex just like I do. dedicated to the older siblings who wish they could give them all their strength. to the friends and family who are always there to pick them up when they fall. me and all the other alexes of the world thank you.
Chapter 46: Do That Again
As much as Brittany was trying to pretend that her mother's change of heart didn't bother her, it did. Worse was that she felt like Santana had been hurt by a parent all over again. Whitney and the Latina had grown close, bonding in the kitchen and now it was like Santana reliving the trauma of her past. She didn't ever bring it up, worried she'd trigger something, but her therapist could always tell when Brittany omitted vital topics when sharing. With some convincing, she got through, and the floodgates opened. Brittany was staying strong for everyone else, and as a result, her own mental health was on a steep and steady decline. This was the response of someone who in personality is a people pleaser, compounded by anxiety. Dr. P wasn't a huge fan of relying on medication, but an adjustment was in order. Brittany had no interest in this change and was distraught when she left. Santana immediately noticed, but Brittany didn't feel like talking. Instead, the dancer took her guitar outside and sat with the ducks. She was playing and singing softly when Santana came to check on her, careful not to disturb her.
And I don't wanna live like this anymore
But I don't even know what I'm living for
God help me get out of my head
'Cause I don't wanna do that again
Oh no, no I don't wanna do that again
Santana is quick to approach as soon as the song ends. Brittany doesn't say anything, just let's Santana lead her inside. Her girlfriend takes her guitar and sets it aside so that she can hold her properly. At first, Brittany keeps up her act, but eventually her facade crumbles. Santana holds her as the tears fall. The blonde trembles with every cry, her grip on Santana tightening. The Latina just holds Brittany, waiting for the tears to subside, gently rubbing her back trying to soothe her. Eventually, Santana feels the blonde's breathing even out and sobs turn to sniffles. She lets Brittany be the one to pull away, and waits patiently for the dancer to elaborate on what was going on. Glassy blue eyes meet mocha and see the questioning gaze, and immediately turn downward, staring at her lap.
"Britt" Santana tilts the girl's chin up "I'm not going to make you talk about it if you don't want to." Brittany struggles, trying not to meet Santana's eyes "But I want you to look at me mi amor." Brittany's eyes darted back to stare into her girlfriend's "You're allowed to cry, and when you're ready to tell me what's going on, I'll be here. You can cry as many times as you want without telling me why, and I will hold you. But I always want you to be able to look me in the eyes."
"I…" Brittany breaks eye contact momentarily and then looks back "I want to tell you why. Why I'm crying, why I'm singing…" Brittany pulls away, turning completely away from Santana "But I'm scared."
"Why don't you sing me the song, all of it, first?" Santana suggests "Would that help?"
"It might." Brittany says "It's worth a shot." The blonde grabs her guitar and sits back down. Santana smiles encouragingly and Brittany starts to play.
I'm sitting here, it's so uncomfortable
Cause I can tell they don't even know
I've been dying inside, dying inside
Brittany was hiding her pain within. And no one could tell. How'd Santana miss it?
This anxiety is taking over me
Sometimes I feel like I can't even breathe
I think I'm dying inside, dying inside
Santana had noticed that Brittany seemed more anxious. She'd picked up all her nervous habits again like picking at her cuticles, tapping, clicking her pen and anything to distract her brain from thinking. Santana didn't realize it had been suffocating her too though.
Oh cause I've been staring a the ceiling
For five years straight, yeah it seems
I don't think anything's helping me
And so I
Santana wants to interrupt and pull Brittany into another hug, but she knows what the blonde needs right now is this song. To tell Santana what she can't say that the lyrics can. That she's stuck in this endless depression and nothing seems to get her out.
Fake a smile, pretend I'm fine
Cause for a while I haven't been in my mind
The doctor said to change my meds
But I don't want to do that again
Santana gets what brought it on now- Dr.P must've suggested a change in Brittany's meds. Brittany didn't like them, they made her feel robotic. Being a robot is always the fix
I tell them all, it's all alright
When I don't get an ounce of sleep at night
Should see my therapist instead
But I don't want to do that again
No, I don't want to do that again
She hadn't been sleeping? Seriously, Santana was off her game. She hadn't noticed that either. And now she doesn't want to see Dr.P- that Santana knows is impulse. Admittedly, there were times she didn't want to go to therapy either.
The little voices in my head keep telling me
That I will never be anything more than what I am
And it's so exhausting to feel like no one understands
Santana understands, doesn't she? She wants to scream, say that she does, she understands. It's so hard to feel like you'll never amount to anything. She knows what Brittany is feeling. Why hadn't she said something sooner?
Oh 'cause I've been staring at the ceiling
For five years straight it seems
I don't think anything's helping me
And so I
Fake a smile, pretend I'm fine
'Cause for a while I haven't been in my mind
The doctor said to change my meds
But I don't want to do that again
I tell them all it's all alright
When I don't get an ounce of sleep at night
Should see my therapist instead
But I don't want to do that again
No, I don't want to do that again
Santana can tell that Brittany is close to tears again, but the blonde is going to finish. There's determination in every strum.
I don't want to live like this anymore
But I don't even know what I'm living for
God help me get out of my head
'Cause I don't want to do that again
Oh no, no I don't want to do that again
Brittany sings through the tears now streaming down her face. Santana resists the urge to reach out and sweep them away. She has to let Brittany finish, it's important.
I fake a smile, pretend I'm fine
'Cause for a while I haven't been in my mind
The doctor said to change my meds
But I don't want to do that again
I don't want to do that again
As soon as the last note is over Santana arms fling around Brittany and the blonde gratefully hugs back. Santana gently holds Brittany at arms distance and wipes a few tears away. The blonde sets her guitar aside. There's a soft smile though, Brittany looks relieved. Santana takes Brittany's hands and rubs her thumbs along the back.
"So, I'm assuming Dr.P wants to change your meds?" Santana asks and Brittany nods "And you don't want that. I know. But why? And where did all these walls come from? Since when did we put walls up?" Santana raises an eyebrow.
"I was trying to be strong for everyone else. I mean Alex is a total disaster, as much as they may think they're hiding it we all can see it. And God, Ali is basically supporting three adults and two teens and one pre-teen all on her own. She puts on a brave face, and I know financially she's totally fine, but she shouldn't be raising someone else's kids." Brittany sighs, and Santana nods "I mean I'm so grateful, and I don't even mean you. She should definitely be raising you, but me and Alex? By no means are we her responsibility."
"She's not going to turn you away. You two are family, no more than I am. Blood means nothing to her, you should know that. She loves me and you and Alex as much as she loves Diego." Santana says "I know it may seem like she's stretched thin, but only Alex really needs any real parenting. And your dad is still doing everything he can to help."
"And then there's you." Brittany doesn't respond to Santana's explanation about Ali "I can see how much it hurt you, what my mom said and did. Not just the memories of your parents, but the fact that in my mom you found what you lost. And it's been ripped away again. You trusted her enough to open up and cook with her the way you used to with your mom and your Abuela. She betrayed that trust." Brittany shakes her head "I have to stay strong for everyone else."
"No you don't. You have to let yourself feel, you can't be someone else's strength when you aren't strong enough for yourself. Prioritizing ourselves, not each other, we have to practice that and remember to do that. I am fine, and I'm not just saying that. Am I angry and disappointed, of course, babe I'm furious. This woman who we all trusted has done something that is going to be very difficult to forgive, and that trust- it's broken forever for me. Does that hurt a little? Yes. But honey, what really hurts is seeing you fall apart because you aren't caring about yourself." Santana explains.
"I was afraid to say anything…I thought it might upset you. So…if I need to vent about my mom?" Brittany asks.
"I'm right here, ready to hear it. It might be nice to make sure I'm not in a bad headspace, but you're pretty good at reading me." Santana smiles.
"Will you help me with figuring out my meds too? I didn't really manage to tell Dr.P how they were making me feel, she just got that my anxiety was going up alot." Brittany asks.
"Yeah, we can talk to her about how they make you feel and how you act when you're on them. That might mean changing them though. This isn't about not medicating, this is about figuring out what works for you." Santana explains.
"I'm open to that, I just don't want a higher dosage of these robo meds." Brittany promises.
"Good. So about Alex and staying strong for them, I've got your back okay? Ali is working tirelessly alongside your dad to help them out while things are awry with your mom. They're going to get them what they need, it's just a bit difficult. But when it comes to the emotional stuff, if you need somebody to step in, reach out to me or Diego. We can take care of them okay?" Santana says and Brittany is grateful that she isn't the only one who will be looking out for them. She knows they've found some support with their friends, but support at home is important too.
After crying so much, Brittany is in desperate need of a nap, so she excuses herself to go lay down. Santana puts her guitar away and spies the song title and the chords laying in the blonde's guitar case. She had really liked the song, but she didn't get a chance to ask Brittany much about it. It had still really bummed her out that her song wasn't something they could perform for the school, but she really wanted to share an important message. This song did that too. She types the song into her phone and realizes there's no existing piano sheet music. She'll have to improvise based on the guitar chords and try to match the notes. There was a time in her life where she would spend hours trying to achieve perfect pitch, but it had been years. Still, she sat at her piano bench and messed around with it, scratching out notes and writing adjustments as she went on her own blank grandstaff. As she was playing, Diego came home with Uno and Asher who he'd taken to get groomed. Immediately the dogs came and greeted her.
"Hello boys" she said, setting aside her work for a moment "Don't you two just look as handsome as ever?" She gave both dogs a ton of love, straightening out the bandanas the groomer had put on them.
"Asher behaved perfectly as per usual. Uno seemed to follow his lead." Diego said as he let the dogs outside to burn off some energy. "What you working on?" he looked at the grandstaff curiously "I thought you weren't writing any more songs?"
"I'm not." Santana said "Britt played me this song on guitar and there's no existing grandstaff, not that's accessible in any way."
"That's tough. You want a second pair of ears?" Diego asks as he calls the dogs back in. "I used to have a knack for it."
"It can't hurt." Santana hands him her phone and earbuds and he listens through a few times, writing the notes he can identify.
"Try this. I don't have the melody quite right I don't think, but I'm pretty sure I've got the pitch right." Diego hands her the sheet music and she plays it. To her surprise, Diego had gotten it close to perfect. She adds a few sharps and flats where necessary and then plays it while singing the lyrics.
"Dang that sounds good!" Diego smiles "Say, where is Britt?"
"Napping. She had a rough time at therapy." Santana shrugs "Where's Kels?"
"She's grocery shopping. Did Mami tell you she's going out of town?" Diego asks.
"She briefly mentioned it. No big deal." Santana says organizing all the grandstaff papers.
"Usually I'd agree, but we've got to take care of Alex too. Britt's here as well, and I know you two can go and get food, but Mami wanted to be sure there was plenty of food in the house." Diego reminds, and Santana realizes she hadn't even considered that "They're out with friends right?"
"Yeah, I think they're having a sleepover with Nick and Parker." Santana says "They seemed super excited about it."
"Aren't they totally crushing on Parker?" Diego asks.
"Unconfirmed, but that's the going theory. But the way they're feeling uncomfortable in their skin, I think it'll be fine. Not to mention they're only ten. I don't think anything crazy is on their mind." Santana concludes.
"I know I'm just not ready for them to grow up." Diego sighs.
"They're not ready to grow up either. But life doesn't wait for you to be ready." Santana says "we have to roll with the punches."
"No kidding." Diego says and the two of them end up sitting on the couch watching TV. Santana rests her head on Diego's chest like she used to when she was just a kid, surprising Diego and even herself. He was her protector though, and at that moment she felt untouchable.
Sunday evening was Ali's last dinner before her flight. She'd waited until the last minute to tell Alex and Brittany, not wanting them to have time to stress over it in case she was able to cancel the trip. Unfortunately, she absolutely had to go and there was no rescheduling so the time had come. Kelsey had brought home a plethora of food for the week, and both her and Santana could cook so Ali wasn't worried. There was plenty of easy to make food too- cereal, instant oatmeal, pop tarts, cup of noodles and sandwich fixing that Alex could do easily without help. Still, they were ten, and that meant someone needed to be home with them or they needed to be with friends at all times.
"Dinner is delicious Ali, thanks so much for making this." Alex said, digging into their baked potato. She wanted to cook a hearty meal before she left so she made grilled chicken, baked potatoes and had also grilled up some vegetables. Santana had also told Ali that baked potatoes were Alex's favorite thing, and that it was something their dad always made, not their mom.
"Yeah, this is awesome Tia!" Santana smiled.
"I'm glad everyone's enjoying their meal." Ali said "I do need to let two of you know something that I've already told Diego, Kelsey and Santana."
"Uh oh." Alex puts down their fork "Should I be worried?"
"Gosh no, it's just that I'm going out of town on business for the week." Ali explains and she immediately can tell Brittany is anxious about this "Kelsey has got plenty of groceries already stocked up, Santana and her can cook, and I'll be leaving my car so you'll have two to use. Diego will be in charge, and I expect you all to pitch in while I'm gone. That means taking care of the pets, like changing the litter for the cats, feeding all the animals, cleaning the duck cage and keeping them fed and also brushing the dogs daily. I know I usually brush them, and it may seem silly, but they're part husky and it's important. There are a few ground rules while I'm gone- you may have friends over, but no more than two per person, and they cannot sleep over. Their parents need to know whether or not an adult will be home in your case Alex. If Diego and Kelsey are both out, it's best if you go to their house instead. You also may not have sleepovers anywhere during the school week, but this is already an established rule. Friday night is the exception, and that still holds true, but I would like to be called in advance. Do not use the pool. It's not cleaned from winter yet. You can use the fire pit but please be careful. There's a list of important phone numbers on the fridge of people you can call if you can't get a hold of me or need an adult. I've also left money if you decide to order a pizza or takeout, but please don't use this week as a chance to eat only junk. Lastly, I'll be back next Sunday and I expect the house to be clean. It doesn't need to be spotless or freshly vacuumed and dusted, but it shouldn't be a mess. Do you all understand?" There's a chorus of nods and affirmative responses. The rules are reasonable, why disagree? "Fantastic. Let's finish dinner and then Diego will drive me to the airport. Last thing of note is that I am going to have the upstairs guest bedroom remodeled upon my return. Alex, I'd like your help since I'm going to move you up there so you have a bathroom and are closer to your sister."
"But I mean, this situation isn't permanent. It shouldn't be designed to be for me." Alex shakes their head.
"Nonsense. Paint can be changed. I spoke to your father and your mother has only gotten more belligerent. I am sorry. Because of this, we're arranging for me to be given official temporary custody. The good news is that it sounds like your hormone blockers have been approved and you should be able to get it in a month." Ali smiles encouragingly.
"Well the good and the bad right?" Alex sighs "thanks for taking us in. Family isn't blood, and I've seen proof of that everyday here."
"Glad to have you kiddo." Diego ruffles their hair. They all finish dinner and Diego takes Ali to the airport.
"Alright, I know this week might be a little hard, but it doesn't have to be. What do you all say we go get some ice cream?" Kelsey says and Alex, Santana and Brittany excitedly agree. It's a good way to end the weekend and takes the tension off as they go into a week without parental supervision.
Alex sits in their bed stroking Lord Tubbington as the hours of the night and early morning slowly pass. Despite their best efforts, sleep had escaped them entirely. For one, they were worried about the pressure Kelsey and Diego were under to keep things under control in the Lopez house. Previously when she'd left Santana had stayed at the Pierce house. A parent was always best to have around in case of emergency, and Santana and Brittany weren't strangers to emergencies. Alex themself had their own share of crises, and was on the brink most days. A restless night only compounded the issue. As the sun rose they made their way to the shower, hoping that they could at least start the day feeling fresh and clean. All thoughts of that went out the window as they saw the red spot in their pants. They ran up the stairs and knocked hard on Santana's bedroom door. It woke both teenagers and Brittany quickly got up and opened it. As soon as Alex saw their sister they hugged her hard. Brittany looked back at a groggy Latina and gently led Alex out of the doorway, shutting the door quietly behind her.
"What's wrong kiddo?" Brittany asked, but Alex just whimpered. The older blonde sighed and led them back downstairs to their room. The red spot on the bed told her what she needed to know. "Oh…Alex I'm sorry. Look, I'll clean everything up, go take a shower okay? I'll wait right outside the bathroom and we can talk all about how to deal with this okay? Maybe Parker has some ideas?" Alex just nods and grabs their baggy black sweats and a t-shirt and heads to the bathroom. They hand Brittany their stained pants through the door and she takes them along with the sheets to wash them. She runs into Kelsey on the way.
"Good morning Brittany. What's with the laundry?" Kelsey asked.
"Alex just started their period." Brittany shuffled past Kelsey and started the load of laundry "Will you put this in the dryer later?"
"Of course, here, let me help you remake the bed." Kelsey grabbed a set of sheets from the linen closet and followed Brittany back to Alex's room. "I'll finish this. You should be there when they get out of the shower. Bring them some supplies too."
"Thanks." Brittany runs back up the stairs to collect some supplies from Santana's bathroom. She kisses the Latina's forehead on her way out,telling her she needs to get up. Alex is getting out when she returns. They put on their t-shirt and wrap the towel around their waist so Brittany can come in.
"Britt…I don't want to deal with this." Alex says quietly as their sister closes the door "It feels so…"
"Grown up? Gross?" Brittany asks, laying out the options she had brought.
"Feminine. I feel like a girl. People always say this is when a girl becomes a young woman or whatever. I don't want that. I'm only ten. I thought I had time." Alex shakes their head.
"I was ten too. I should've warned you. I'm sorry. Look, there's no way around it so we'll just have to deal as best as we can for now. The first thing is figuring out what you want to use." Brittany says "I suggest pads. They're easy to check, they're what I started with, and super simple to use."
"I guess so. I wish there was something less…anything." Alex says, flipping the pad around.
"We can work on that now that we need it. But this is the best I can offer you." Brittany smiles softly.
"It'll work I guess. Can you…can show me how to use it?" Alex asks and Brittany nods, putting the first one on their sibling's clean underwear for them. She leaves them to finish getting ready for the day and goes to get ready herself. Of course this would happen when Ali was gone. Of course.
"Hey" Santana says, as Brittany walks into the bathroom to brush her teeth while the Latina tames her hair "What was going on with Alex?"
"They started their period." Brittany mumbles around her toothbrush "Not exactly a congratulatory moment considering."
"Is it ever really? Considering it's arrival for me marked the reason I went through a miscarriage and Plan B?" Santana raises a fair point.
"I suppose not. But I'm worried about them. This can't be easy, not just physically, but mentally." Brittany shakes her head and applies light makeup.
"Well, all we can do is support them as best as we know how. Here" Santana grabs a mini first aid kit and shoves a couple pads in it "a little more discreet way for them to carry that stuff."
"I'm sure they'll appreciate it." Brittany kisses Santana and quickly gets dressed and meets Kelsey downstairs where she's scrambling eggs and making toast for breakfast. Alex is sitting at the counter watching her, drinking orange juice.
"Hey Lex, I got you something" Brittany says and she notes how they smile at the use of that shortening. On a day like this, Brittany had a feeling it would be appreciated. "There's some pads in this first aid kit. San thought it might be a little more discreet."
"Thanks. I was worried about that. Is there any pain meds?" Alex asks.
"Are you cramping?" Brittany is surprised- the first few periods are usually relatively light and pain free.
"No, just in case." Alex says.
"She tucked a couple Midol in there." Brittany says, knowing every first aid kit Santana owned was stocked with the stuff.
"Great. Thanks for your help B. I was kind of freaking out. I hope Santana isn't too upset that I woke her." Alex hugs their sister and goes to sit at the counter and eat. Brittany sighs- a long week just got longer.
The school day was, luckily, relatively uneventful, at least at McKinley. Yes, they were starting to prepare for Regionals, but Mr.Schue really had learned to not put an overwhelming amount of pressure on them. Glee was an extracurricular like any other sport, and when it compromised school work and health he was going too far. Admittedly, their Regionals were later than Mr.Schue had hoped, he liked them to be earlier so there was more time before Nationals. Despite that, they were coming the first week of February and they had to be ready. Still, their setlist was quickly decided when they were given a caveat that one song had to be from the 90s, one from the 2000s and one from the 2010s. It was quickly decided that Rachel would do "My Heart Will Go On" as the solo and the 90s number. Everyone agreed nothing would be more iconic than Britney for the 2000s, and what better than Toxic. This would be the group number, featuring the girls, and finally came the 2010s. As much as Santana and Brittany, often with Tina and Quinn's support, tried to get alternative music into their setlist, it was clear that One Direction was a defining band for the Era. This would also be a perfect band to allow all the boys' voices to be highlighted. They went with the iconic song What Makes You Beautiful. So things were pretty relaxed considering the usual drama that came with Glee club. Brittany and Santana left school in high spirits and went to go pick up Alex. Unfortunately, they weren't looking happy at all. They were sitting outside waiting with Parker, their head leaning on their best friend's shoulder. Santana parked the car rather than just swinging through as per usual.
"Hey Alex, why are you guys outside?" Brittany asked "I mean the weather's okay but is your after school Science club already over?"
"You mean the club we're no longer a part of?" Parker scoffed "No, they're still inside. Nick's at the nurse though."
"Why is Nick with the nurse?" Santana asked Asher, looking for approval to let the clearly upset kids pet him. Santana nods and lets them know it's okay.
"He got in a fight with one of the other kids in the Science club." Alex spoke softly "He fought on our behalf."
"What in the world did you need to fight for?" Brittany asked.
"Well, Science club is usually more chemistry and physics, or maybe zoology or herbology. But not usually biology in the human sense. But this week that was the topic." Parker is clearly heated and Alex lets them talk "So we start with the basics, chromosomes and whatever. Well our teacher keeps referring to it as gender, which I let slide because I get it, calling it sex in front of middle schoolers gets giggles." Parker paces "but she clearly says two genders so I raise my hand to, y'know, respectfully question and rephrase."
"I think I see where this is going…" Santana says "But continue."
"Right, so I raise my hand, and I say, you mean there's only male and female as two biological sexes right?" Parker says "Which is totally inaccurate too, I mean I'm literally sitting there as someone who is intersex."
"What did the teacher say?" Santana says.
"She says, no, there's two genders. End of story. There's no science behind anything other than those two. Which is bologna, I did a whole report on it in our actual science class. I can't believe our after school teacher is less accepting." Parker sighs "Anyway, we got in a debate, students, teacher, everybody. Someone got all up in my face and Alex's face, calling us freaks. Nick tackled them and they got pretty rough on the floor."
"Are your parents or Nick's on the way?" Brittany asks.
"Nah, we usually walk home, I'm sure it'll be fine." Parker shrugs "You should take Alex home though, they don't need to wait around."
"We both know Nick was protecting me. No one messes with you or him, Park. You're both obviously built and I'm flipping shrimp." Alex sighs.
"I mean, thanks for the compliment, but Lex, that kid was coming at the both of us. There were a lot of plurals." Parker reminds.
"That's not the point. He was clearly talking to me, dead naming me. Saying you and your friend are freaks. Not you two are freaks. It was clearly directed at one person. His face was practically touching mine. Everytime he spoke he spit on me. I'm not invalidating your experience. But I feel responsible for Nick sitting in there all bruised. He lost that fight to the only kid there bigger than him." Alex shakes their head "Fucking Junior."
"Who exactly is Junior?" Santana crosses her arms.
"You know that football player Azimio, the one they couldn't arrest at your school?" Alex asks and Santana nods. He still walks the halls. "His little brother. Nicknamed Junior by his big brother and because he's got their dad's name."
"I'll kill him." Santana says "I'll take Asher and we'll kill him."
"I left a dent." Nick says limping towards them "got a nice kick to his groin. He's basically dead anyway. I was let off with a warning thanks to some good kids who saw it all go down. He got expelled. I just pulled him away. The tackle was him. I don't play football, but he does. He knows how to turn anything into a tackle."
"Holy shit, you look awful." Santana says, noting a puffy black eye, a split lip, his limp, and his wrapped wrist and bloody knuckles.
"Gee, just what every guy wants to hear." Nick laughs but grabs his ribs and stops "Nothing can ever be funny for the next three weeks please."
"Now I really am going to kill this kid. And his brother too. It's about time." Santana growls.
"Violence doesn't solve anything. We're still out of the science club and traumatized." Alex sighs "Can we give these two a ride home?"
"Yeah, are your parents going to be there, either of you?" Brittany asks and they both shake their heads no "Then you'll come to ours first. We'll clean you up better Nick and you can decompress."
"Cool. Thanks. I wish I had a big sister. Instead I just have dear old cousin Nicky." Parker helps him into the car despite the comment before getting in themself, Alex squeezed into the middle. They get home and let Asher out to play with Uno. Diego is home and playing fetch with Uno, so Santana goes to talk to him while Brittany tends to the middle schoolers inside.
"Hey cuz, what's up?" Diego asks, throwing another ball.
"We brought Nick and Parker here. There was an incident at the science club today. Alex is okay and so is Parker but Nick looks like you the time you got in Papi's way." Santana sighs.
"Dang. You two got it under control?" Diego asks "Are they sticking around long?"
"Don't know yet. But we've got it under control. I'll keep you in the loop. I'm gonna help Britt." Santana goes inside and they set Nick up with a ton of ice packs and a good dose of ibuprofen. Once he's settled Santana gets them all a snack and opens an invitation to dinner but Nick and Parker have to go home for dinner that night. Alex pouts a bit at this but Santana is relieved. She wants to host as few people as possible while Ali's gone, so she was really just being courteous. Once Parker and Nick get picked up, with about a million thanks from Nick's parents, Alex goes to their room. Santana works on dinner while Brittany helps Diego with the pets. Kelsey gets home during that time and goes to check on Alex.
"Hey kiddo." Kelsey says, peeking her head into Alex's room. They're laying on their bed, mindlessly scrolling and petting Lord Tubbingiton.
"What's up." Alex says uninterested.
"Just wanted to check on you. I heard about the science club. I'm sorry, I know you really enjoyed the club."
"I did, but honestly, that's not what really hurt. What hurts is that I got dead named again, and it's just so obvious I can't escape my name in Ohio. People will always know. It sucks. Parker is lucky that their dead name died at four years old. I just want to be Alex." they stare at the ceiling sadly.
"And one day you will be. No one will blink an eye. You just have to persevere for now. I know it's hard, but we all believe in you. I won't pretend I get it, but I do have an understanding. I've learned a lot in college, including a lot of gender studies." Kelsey says "And you will get through it."
"Thanks. Can you go though? I just want to be alone." Alex says and Kelsey nods leaving them to allow the black hole that is their phone screen suck them in away from the day.
Alex was distant at dinner. They sat at the table and ate, but quickly left after they were finished. Brittany was compelled to go after them, but Santana urged her to stay. Just for a little while, just to give them the space they were so obviously craving. Unbeknownst to them, Alex had snuck up the back set of stairs. These were rarely used by anyone other than Ali, mostly because they ran directly from her bedroom. Alex knew about them though. One day they'd been exploring the house while everyone else was distracted and found the hidden staircase. Ali had even put a door in front of it to disguise it as a closet. Alex also knew where Ali hid things like razors. Their curiosity could be seen as snooping, but in all honesty they loved knowing all the secret hideouts in houses because Lord Tubbington would find them. So in the water heater room, Alex really hadn't meant to find a box of razors, they simply had. And so, they stopped there and snuck up the stairs into the soon to be renovated guest bedroom with its ensuite bathroom. Alex had no idea what it was with this house and its ensuite bathrooms that also had hallway doors but it was incredibly bizarre. Nevertheless, it was in their favor that day. They picked the lock with a hairpin, a trick they'd learned as a hobby. They locked both bathroom doors and the bedroom door- no reason to suspect anything. It was an odd feeling, sneaking away to cause themself harm, full of loaded intentions and plenty of time to question their decision. But as soon as they saw the video of what happened trending, it was obvious their name would be known everywhere- not Alex though. They removed their shirt and the binder Parker had gifted them. They turned the locks off on their phone and opened the notes app. They didn't want to die, but they were tired of living. Life wasn't made for them. Alex picked up the blade and pressed it into the soft flesh over their rib cage. This hurt more than the arms or thighs. But this was the part of them they couldn't stand the most. With as much precision as you can expect in such a situation, they wrote 3 painful letters. And then, they cried.
"Where are they?" Brittany said, throwing open closet doors and sticking a flashlight under beds "Alex?!"
"They can't have left the house, the back door was still locked and you can't lock it from the outside and we would've seen them leave through the front." Kelsey assured.
"Maybe they left through a window!" Brittany snapped. Diego shook his head coming into Alex's room where Brittany was pacing.
"All the windows are locked. You can't lock those from the outside either." Diego sighed.
"There's a place we haven't checked." Santana said meekly from her place on Alex's bed where Asher refused to let her leave. A framed picture of her with Alex from the music video in her hands, a gift she'd made that afternoon.
"The upstairs guest bedroom." Kelsey said and the three others sprinted up the stairs. Diego grabbed the key on the way, quickly unlocking the doors. Brittany pushed in front of him.
"Oh my god." Brittany cried "Alex, kiddo? Stay awake."
"Kels, call 911." Diego said, blocking her view of the scene. "Just call. Don't fucking look!" He said as Kelsey tried to look around him. She dialed the number and handed Diego the phone and backed out of the room. She heard his words. She ran down the stairs and saw Santana still where they'd left her. Tears were streaming down her face and as realization flashed across the younger girl, Asher alerted. The room spun and Kelsey fell to the ground.
"Alex don't close your eyes." Brittany urged "Why?" Fading blue eyes looked down and back up in a lazy response. Brittany looked at where she was holding gauze. She knew. Diego paced in the bedroom, willing himself to not look again. The doorbell rang and he darted down the stairs to let the paramedics in and led them up the stairs.
"What's her name?" the paramedic asked.
"THEIR name is Alex." Brittany said "And I'm their sister, Brittany"
"Right. Alex, I need you to stay awake. Keep that pressure for just one more minute Brittany. You're doing everything right." the paramedic said, working with his partner to set the backboard as close as possible.
"Alright I need you to keep that as we transfer them to the board." he said and they lifted Alex to the board. Immediately the second paramedic took Brittany's place, and with Diego's help they brought Alex down the stairs and put them on the rolling bed. Brittnay followed and watched as they replaced the gauze and taped it down and tucked a blanket over Alex up to their chin.
"Kels!" Diego yelled "Come on, we gotta follow this ambo!" He got no response, so he ran to Alex's room. Santana was kneeled beside Kelsey, helplessly speechless. Santana followed Diego as he carried Kelsey towards the paramedics.
"She needs a doctor too." he said "What happened San…please."
"Faint." Santana managed.
"I think she hit her head." Diego said, adjusting his hand and seeing red stickiness.
"Take her in your car. It'll be faster. Follow us." The paramedic said. They loaded Alex into the ambulance and Brittany rode along. Santana, Diego, Kelsey and Asher, for Santana's safety, got into the car and followed behind. The paramedics quickly offloaded Alex and helped Diego get Kesley onto a bed as well and immediate entrance into the building was granted for both patients but the other three were sent to the waiting room.
"Ali." Santana squeaked as they took their seats, Asher nudging her hands and forcing her to focus on petting him.
"Fuck" Diego whispered under his breath "We've got to call Ali. Britt, call your dad. The hospital will soon want to anyway."
"Got it." Brittany dialed her dad and Diego called Ali. Both of them tried to keep their parents on the other line calm to no avail.
"I'm coming right now Britty." Daniel said.
"I'll be on the first flight." Ali said. Santana sat there stoically. This response worried Asher immensely. He whined and she shushed him. He didn't relent and she sighed, hugging him as he did everything he was trained to do, but was unsuccessful in breaking Santana's stupor. Brittany had her knees pulled up to her chest, her face buried, stifling the cries she couldn't hold in. Diego held it together from the two teens, even as the love of his life was going through God knows what. He didn't know how long he could handle it, but he knew he needed help. Daniel would take care of Brittany and Alex but who would take care of Santana? He couldn't do it, he wasn't strong enough, and Ali wouldn't be back for eight hours. He needed to take care of Kelsey, and he needed to take care of himself. Santana needed full attention. He called her therapist, even though it was an incredibly strange request it was all he could think of.
"Hello?" Hailey answered, not recognizing the number. It was her work phone, she only gave the number out to patients and their parents or caretakers. She saved every number.
"Hi, Dr.Hailey right?" Diego asked.
"Yes. Who is this?" she asked.
"Sorry, my name is Diego. Diego Lopez." he said "I'm-"
"Santana's cousin." Hailey cuts him off "I remember Ali told me she was going out of town and that if something happened you might call. I can't believe I didn't ask for your number. What's going on? Is Santana okay?"
"Physically she's fine. I mean, as far as I know. But she's not…she's really not okay." Diego's voice shakes "And I…usually I could take care of her but…"
"Take a breath. Where's Asher?" Hailey knows the dog can do a lot for Santana.
"Santana is hugging him but her eyes are just…blank." Diego sighs "We're at the hospital. Alex and Kelsey are in the ER."
"Both of them? What- you know what, it doesn't matter what happened. I'll be there soon. Lima General, right?"
"Yeah…thanks." Diego hangs up and see'a Daniel coming in and immediately waves him over.
"What happened?" Daniel asks, even as Brittany grabs onto him.
"Alex…" Diego looks at Santana and Brittany "They…they self-harmed."
"I thought all sharps were locked up in the Lopez house." Daniel holds Brittany tight "how did they get any?"
"They picked the lock, found the hiding spot. I don't even know where they're hidden. Only Ali does. I only know where my razor is, and it was still where it's meant to be. I keep it in a locked drawer, in a locked box, with two different combo locks that can't be picked." Diego runs a hand through his hair "I'm so sorry."
"Are they okay?" Daniel asks and he hears Brittany choke back a sob.
"I don't know. Kelsey passed out, I think from seeing, I'm not sure. She's back there with a head injury. I don't know anything." Diego shakes his head.
"Okay. Okay. Take care of yourself. I've got Britt." Daniel assures and Diego nods. Hailey comes five minutes later and immediately tends to Santana, Asher whining incessantly.
"Diego Lopez?" a nurse asks and he runs up to the front desk "Your girlfriend is awake and would like to see you." Diego looks back and gets a thumbs up from Daniel and Hailey before following the nurse down the hall.
"We gave her some pain medication, so she may be a bit tired." the nurse says and Diego nods. The nurse knocks and they enter "Kelsey, Diego is here. I'll leave you two for a few minutes. The doctor will be in a couple minutes."
"Hey D." Kelsey says weakly and Diego wipes a couple tears from his face. He has to be strong right now. "Is Alex okay?"
"Don't worry about them right now. What happened?" Diego asks.
"Well, I left after I handed you the phone and went back to Santana. There was this look on her face, this look of realization. She knew what happened without me saying anything. I think she knew as soon as we didn't find Alex quickly. I didn't see, not really. But I felt like I failed them." Kelsey sighed.
"What do you mean?" Diego takes her hand and Kelsey squeezes it gently.
"I talked to them. Before dinner. They were pretty quiet, and wanted to be left alone. I tried to assure them that one day they'd escape their dead name. I don't think they believed me. We should've made them stay out with us at the table. One of us should've known about the other stairs or where the sharps were." Kelsey closes her eyes "I just…I felt responsible. And really suddenly, reality came crashing in and my heart started to beat crazy fast. I heard Asher bark, and next thing I know I'm laying here."
"You didn't do anything wrong, Kels. None of us expected Alex to want to do this again. Do anything to harm themselves." Diego promises. There's a knock on the door and a doctor comes in.
"Hi, I'm Dr.Caldwell. So, Kelsey, you came in with a pretty bad hit to your head. Do you know what she hit her head on?" He looks at Diego.
"I was more worried about getting her here when I saw her lying there. I can ask my cousin if she knows but she's a little out of it right now." Diego admits.
"No worries, sounds like this was indoors though?" the doctor asks and Diego confirms with a nod "Well, that doesn't totally rule out infection but it definitely lowers the risk. What I want to do is take a CT scan and see if we can assess the damage. I'm hoping it's just surface level but it's best to be careful with these things."
"Of course. Whatever you need to do." Diego says and Kelsey smiles softly at him.
"Great. I'll get that scheduled and we'll take you over as soon as we can. Once we know the extent of the damage we can talk about the fainting spell and what might need to be considered for that." the doctor leaves and Diego let's out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.
"D, I'm gonna be okay. Look, I want you to check on Alex if you can. It'll make me feel better to know how they're doing." Kelsey says. As if on queue, Santana comes into Kelsey's room.
"San, what's wrong?" Diego asks, seeing his cousin without Asher or her doctor.
"Alex…they're awake. Hailey is with Asher, I didn't want to go through the struggle of bringing him back here just yet." Santana is soft spoken and clearly still shaken, but emotions are starting to rise to the surface. As much as he hates to see his cousin upset, he needs to see her be something other than numb.
"Do you think we'd be able to go see them?" Diego asks.
"I don't know. Mr.Pierce and Britt went. I can't. I just can't." Santana says "You go though. If you can. Room 205. I'll stay with Kels."
"Thanks Tana." Diego kisses his cousin's temple, something he used to do when she would cry for hours to him about her parents' abuse. He hated that they couldn't do anything sooner. He gives Kelsey a soft kiss and makes his way to Alex's room.
"Go-go?" Alex says meekly as soon as they see him in the doorway.
"Diego Lopez." Daniel Pierce says to the doctor "He's family."
"I see. I'm Dr. Holland. What is your relationship to the patient?" the doctor asks.
"He's like our big brother." Brittany whispers.
"Well then. Alex is lucky you found them when you did. Those cuts would have resulted in deadly blood loss." The doctor says "We cleaned the wounds and stitched them and have given them a good amount of pain medication to keep them comfortable, but the truth is that this will be an extremely painful recovery process."
"Was there any serious internal damage?" Diego asks.
"No" Mr. Pierce answered for the doctor, "My baby is gonna be okay."
"With recovery time and a lot of rest. Is it your mother, Aliana Lopez, who has temporary custody?" the doctor asks.
"Yes sir. She's flying back from an out of state work obligation." Diego says.
"And she left them in the care of yourself and your girlfriend, Kelsey Monroe? I understand she's also been admitted?" the doctor asks.
"Yes sir. She made sure that Mr.Pierce was okay with this arrangement as well as the judge who granted temporary custody. She was assured that this was allowed." Diego says.
"I understand. I would like to speak to her when she returns. I promise you, we have already ruled out any legal issues. Your mother is not in trouble." the doctor says
"I'll make sure she knows. How long is Alex going to need to stay in the hospital, I'd like to notify the school." Diego asks.
"We've placed them on a seventy-two hour watch, but I would recommend they do not return this week. Depending on how much pain they're in and how healing starts to develop we can look at the following week." Dr.Holland is beeped and he excuses himself.
"How's Kels?" Brittany asks, never taking her eyes off Alex nor letting their hand go.
"She's getting a CT. Santana is with her. Asher is with Hailey in the waiting room." Diego says "I think she'll be okay, but I'm sure they'll keep her overnight too."
"I don't want to leave Alex's side." Brittany says.
"I'm not sure you'll have a choice. But, I'll call you out of school tomorrow so you can be here as much as the hospital will allow, okay?" Diego says and Brittany nods.
"Can I see San?" Alex asks.
"That's up to her kiddo. I'm sorry." Diego says "You understand this is hard for her right?"
"I know. Is she okay?" Alex asks.
"She's getting there." Diego says. He excuses himself and practically walks into the doctor.
"Mr.Lopez." Dr. Holland says.
"Dr. Holland. I had a question, Brittany will probably ask but are you going to allow her to stay overnight with Alex?" Diego asked.
"No, she's not an adult. Her father will be allowed to stay. You'll need to take her and your cousin home. I know you'll be having to leave your girlfriend here without you." Dr.Holland says "I am truly sorry for this situation. Seeing someone so young in so much mental turmoil is troubling. And seeing you being strong for all of them is equally concerning. Please take time for yourself." Dr. Holland heads into Alex's room and Diego walks quickly hearing Brittany's loud argument with the doctor break out.
"They took her to CT." Santana says when Diego walks into Kelsey's room which is vacant save for his cousin.
"Tana, you need to feel. I'm here for you. I'm okay. Don't do this on account that you think there's no one there to catch you right now. I'm here." Diego promises.
"I am feeling. Just all the conflicting feelings turn into one mess of nothing identifiable. I'm angry, I'm confused, I'm scared, I'm sad, I'm worried, and I can't feel them all." Santana says "I'm just trying to get rid of one at a time. When Kelsey is back, I'm hoping I can get rid of those scared and worried feelings. How's Alex?"
"On seventy two hours watch but okay. They want to see you, but I told them to respect your boundaries and they understood." Diego assured her.
"Thank you. Can you…can you help me with the confusion maybe?" Santana asks.
"Probably not, but I'll try." Diego says.
"Why?" Santana asks.
"Why what?" Diego tries to clarify.
"All of it. Why did Alex do it? Why'd Kels faint?" Santana elaborates.
"Well, Kels basically got way overwhelmed. You know that feeling and fainting from it. I don't know about Alex. I'd say they've told Britt, but I think they want to see you and tell you." Diego shakes his head "You're their safe person. Someone they know will understand."
"Brittany will too." Santana says "Alex just has to let her."
"I know." Diego says. Kelsey comes back from CT and the results are good. She's lucky that the cut was just surface level and she'll be ready to leave tomorrow after overnight observation. Dr.Caldwell lets them know it's time to leave.
"Okay. San, are you sure you don't want to see Alex?" Diego gives her one last chance.
"I'm not ready." Santana says "I'll wait in the waiting room with Hailey."
"Okay. I'll go get Britt." Diego drags Brittany kicking and screaming away from Alex. He lets her be mad at him, she needs someone to be angry at. He knows it is not the being forced to leave that has her angry anyway. It's that she, like Kels, feels like she let Alex down. When they get to the lobby, something finally changes as the two teenage girls finally snap out of themselves and see each other. A teary hug is the result and Diego knows those tears will be only the start of a healing process that they too will be dealing with. Hailey goes home and sets an appointment with Santana the next day. No one will be going to school tomorrow. They go home and Diego realizes he really doesn't want them upstairs in Santana's room. Luckily, they have no interest in going up the stairs either.
"I want to sleep in Alex's bed." Brittany says "I need to."
"Can I come too?" Santana asks Brittany.
"They're as much your sibling as mine. Of course." Brittany says and Santana nods.
"Okay. Give me a few minutes though okay? Have some cocoa and tea." he says and Santana nods, understanding he needs to clean up after Kelsey's fall. Lord Tubbington greets him with a worried meow and he sighs. Kelsey hit her head on his food and water stand. He cleans it up quickly and refills the water. Lord Tubbinhton meows again.
"He misses Alex." Brittany says from the doorway.
"I told you to wait." Diego sighs.
"I heard Tubbs. Sorry." Brittany gets down on the cat's level. "I'm sorry big boy. Alex will be back soon. Would it be okay if you snuggled Lady Domino tonight?" The cat meows and Lady Domino comes in and rubs against him. He doesn't resist, unusually and Brittany sees the framed photo sitting on the bed. "Oh San…"
"What?" Diego asks "Is that a picture of her and Alex?"
"Yeah. She must've made them a present after that shitty day." Brittany puts it on the nightstand. "Alex will love it. Did you get a chance to know why?"
"Why they did it?" Diego shakes his head "No."
"There's a video of what happened today. It went viral. They're tagged and their deadname is in the video. They think that they'll never escape it now, and I hate to say it, but they might be right." Brittany sighs.
"It's time to kill some middle schoolers." Diego grunted "Alex doesn't deserve this."
"No they don't, but violence is what got us into this mess isn't it?" Brittany asks and Diego grumbles "Look, I appreciate you wanting to fight for them, but you can't. It's not going to change anything. So please, try and get a little sleep yourself. And stop being strong for everyone else- I already learned that that does no one any good." Brittany hugs Diego, something she's only done on an extremely rare occasion. He suddenly understands why Santana calms so instantly in the dancer's embrace. His hugs may be tight and strong, but they don't make the elegant strength of Brittany's. Tight enough to know she's not letting go, but soft enough that you don't feel suffocated. Delicate and purposeful, exactly what a hug should be. He pulls away and Santana makes her way into Alex's room, a stuffed bear under her arm and Asher on her heels. The Latina is quiet, but Brittany can tell now it's from exhaustion. She lets Santana know she'll be back after she brushes her teeth and changes and Santana nods, climbing into the bed. When Brittany gets back, Santana's eyes follow her every movement, rolling over as the blonde climbs in beside her.
"Hi." Santana says.
"Hey." Brittany responds "I think Ali would've preferred a party."
"Probably. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you today." Santana hugs her bear and notices that Brittany has her duck too. Sometimes you just need something soft.
"It's okay. I know that, when you're able, you always will be there for me. I never hold it against you when you can't. Just like you don't hold it against me." Brittany kisses a wrinkled forehead "Relax."
"It's hard to. I didn't see it but my brain keeps visualizing." Santana tries to be vague, but Brittany blinks her eyes desperately wishing she could erase the memory. Alex lying there, eyes drooping and hazy, taking shaky broken breaths, blood dripping from 3 letters. 3 letters she didn't even know they hated so deeply. And now they were etched in pain.
"Britt" Santana says softly and blue eyes snap open "I'm sorry." Even in the dim light, Brittany sees Santana's tattoo. Sometimes a name once written in blood can bring peace when etched in ink. She runs her hand over the tattoo and the faded carved letters on Santana's same arm.
"Do you think that there's a way to take the power away from that name, or find healing in it? Like you did with your Emmy tattoo?" Brittany asks.
"Mine serves as a constant reminder of who I have to live for. That my life is her life too. Alex doesn't want to remember Liv, and they shouldn't have to. I think the best way, the only way, is to take any power it has away. The opposite of how Emmy's name is written in power for me, Liv needs to have no power over Alex any more." Santana says.
"Changing their name? Legally? Permanently?" Brittany asks and Santana nods. "Can they do that?"
"Yes and no. But leave the details up to Ali and your Dad." Santana kisses a freckled nose "Are you going to be able to sleep?"
"I'll try, but I might just watch you sleep." Brittany admits.
"Cuddle me then." Santana rolls over so she can curl into Brittany as the little spoon. She wants to stay awake for the blue eyes she knows are causing the wet spot on her shoulder with silent tears, but instead she just presses herself closer and whispers a single word "Cry."
By the time Santana and Brittany are awake, Ali is home and Diego has gone back to the hospital to be with Kelsey. Brittany hadn't slept much, she'd dozed in and out a few times, but she always woke up quickly when she saw the image of Alex again. Santana can tell when she wakes up and sees red rimmed blood shot eyes greeting her. She kisses the tear stained cheeks of her girlfriend before getting up and bringing the blonde with her on a caffeine hunt. Ali immediately suffocated them both in a hug before they could get there.
"Dios Mio, mijas, esta bien?" Ali looks them over and tsks at Brittany's appearance. "No llores, no llores" Ali says, pulling just the blonde in. She looks at Santana "Durmio?", asking if the blonde has slept. Santana shakes her head as she quickly lets Asher out into the yard. Ali sighs.
"Brittany, let's get you some tea and breakfast and then we'll go to the hospital, si?"
"I'm not really hungry." Brittany admits. Lady Domino meows up at her "But I think Dom is. I'll feed her." Brittany wanders up the stairs with the cat to feed her. Santana calls Asher back in and gives him his breakfast.
"Lo siento." Santana says to Ali as she pours herself some coffee "They just…snapped."
"It's okay Santana. I shouldn't have left. I certainly should've given Diego the sharps to watch at the very least." Ali shakes her head "Drink up. I'll make Brittany tea to go. I can't imagine you're any hungrier than she is." Ali sighs and Santana nods, finishing her mug before going to get dressed. She finds Brittany holding a shirt and sitting on the bed crying.
"Britt?" Santana asks and she sees its the shirt she must've been wearing the night before. It's covered in blood. "Honey, it's okay. Breathe." Santana reminds gently, taking the shirt from the girl's hands. She throws it out the door and gathers the blonde in her arms "I know, I know." Santana says. The blonde just clings to her tighter.
"Santana?" Ali comes up the stairs, and ses the shirt "Oh dear. Brittany, mija, breathe." Brittany let's go of Santana and immediately clings to Ali.
"Why? Why?" Brittany cries and Ali sucks in a breath. She'd been asking herself that question more often than she'd like, ever since the day Diego found Santana. She rocks the blonde and Santana gets dressed and grabs some clothes for the blonde. Eventually they calm Brittany down enough to get dressed. They head to the hospital and Santana finally goes to see Alex. She gives them the picture and sits with them and lets them talk about anything, as long as it has nothing to do with what happened. In the meantime, Dr.Holland speaks to Ali.
"Why did you want to speak to me, doctor?" Ali asks.
"I want to make sure you haven't taken on a load you're not capable of handling. And make sure you're prepared to care for Alex in their condition. They will need to rest a lot, have their bandages changed and be helped to wash. It would be my recommendation they don't return to school for a month. You'd have to take on home study with them." Dr. Holland says.
"I was afraid that you'd be saying they cannot get their hormone blockers any longer." Ali sighed.
"No, actually, I think they'd be useful for their recovery as well. Reducing growth in the chest area will be good." Dr.Holland says.
"Well, to address your concerns, I work from home almost entirely full time so home study won't be an issue. And I'm fully capable of caring for all the minors in my household. I assume you were briefed on the situation by Mr.Pierce?" Ali asks.
"I was. It sounds as though Mrs.Pierce has made no improvements?" Dr.Holland asks.
"That's correct. Daniel and I have discussed at length what we will do if this goes on much longer. Most likely, he will come into my home as well to be a father for his children again." Ali explains.
"And he would assume sole custody?" Dr. Holland asks "I believe that, given Alex's fragile mental state, their mother shouldn't have any parental say."
"That's the goal." Ali agrees. "Thank you for taking care of them."
"My pleasure Ms. Lopez." Dr. Holland heads off to another patient.
On Friday morning, Alex was released. Santana and Brittany were at school, and that afternoon, they invited Ali, Diego, Kelsey and Alex for a performance.
I Don't Want To Do That Again they sang, and Alex got the message loud and clear. It was time for healing to begin, and the first step was cutting ties with Whitney and destroying a name that no longer deserved power.