Slices of Life and Family

by bluefrostyy

PART 3 of The life of Sebastian Pines! (Read that first, I doubt you'll understand what's going on) The story follows Seb's life after Gravity Falls. Bill was defeated, but the Pines family still have thousands of adventures together. Old characters will come back, new characters will make an appearance, all to accompany Seb through his journey as a human (Cowritten with Mizuuma)

14. Disgusting human traditions

Hello! We're back with a new chapter! Fluffy and funny!

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The internship at the "Mystery Shack" research center (Ford had resigned himself to the fact that no one would call it by its real name) continued for the rest of the summer, and the excitement of having interns was dying down. Viola and Tyler realized the scientists were using them to print papers, get coffee, send messages, more coffee… Only Dr. Pines and McGucket took them kinda serious and taught them stuff.

They had been trying to ignore the weird incident where they almost died! And they prefered not to tell anyone about it. It was better that way. Tyler never ventured into the woods again, always calling for someone to drive him into town. Viola only went into the edge of the woods. She never allowed the treeline to cover up where she could see outside. It was too scary otherwise. Dr. McGucket was very understanding (and sympathetic, considering his own run ins with monsters in the woods) and took it upon himself to escort the children to and from the Center whenever they had to go into town. Aside from that, everyone treated that scary incident as if nothing had happened.

However, Stanford never stopped thinking about Bill. He tried to make it so it didn't affect him, but it was getting hard. After seeing that statue, the poor man couldn't stop thinking about the demon that tortured him.

Stanford was scared. He felt like he could go back to where he had been at any moment. He didn't want to sink back into paranoia and fear again. He had struggled a lot to overcome his PTSD, he just couldn't throw away all his progress!

He talked to Ashton again, worried after waking up from a gruesome nightmare. Ashton was glad Ford recognized he needed help before it was too late and after scheduling a few sessions, he asked Ford if he wished to restart his medicine treatment. After the 12 months of treatment, Ford had been feeling good enough to wean himself off them, because he didn't need it, but seeing how effective they had been on decreasing his symptoms, Ford accepted.

The dose was much lesser, Ashton didn't want to deal with addiction later! The really important thing was the therapy, not using medication to solve all his problems (though it certainly helped). Ford knew this clearly, that's why he trusted Ashton on the recommended dosage. He didn't want to have further issues.

The only problem was that SOMEHOW Viola found out about this. Fiddleford denied everything, but Ford was sure that his friend let something slip, accidentally? MAYBE! But he did!

So, after admitting to his intern what she already heard, Viola promised to keep quiet. She also volunteered to remind him to take his medication, as the pills had different hours than before.

Ford appreciated Ms. Se's help, and admired her...perseverance… but...

He had been working in his lab. His phone on the table and he was mixing up a substance for an idea he had.

BBBBZZZZZZ

He almost jumped out of his skin when his phone buzzed. Ford picked it up. "Hello?"

"Time to take your pill, doc!" Viola's happy voice was heard.

"Alright." He hung up and looked for the little bottle. He put it on the table but before he could do anything else, his phone buzzed again.

BBBZZZZ

"Remember not to take anything else!"

"I know." Ford rolled his eyes and hung up. He reached for the bottle and-

BBBBZZZZ

"You're working with chemicals!"

"I know, Viola! Listen, I have my pills here ok? Will you let me take them?!" He exclaimed and Viola agreed and hung up. Ford opened the lid and was about to take one pill out when-

BBBBBZZZZZ

Ford jumped and the pills spilled everywhere. "WHat?!"

"With plenty of water!"

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and grabbed his phone. "...Thank you…"

-.-

Fiddleford had noticed that their interns weren't very friendly to each other since day one (and he'd thought it was just some normal bickering between children), but now, the rivalry and hate was getting out of hand. He wasn't surprised Ford hadn't noticed (he was oblivious to these things), but neither had the other scientists, because they simply didn't care, too busy with their own projects to really pay attention to the interns. Tyler was very condescending towards Viola, he interrupted her and spoke for her. The blond man didn't like his attitude and once called him to his lab for a talk.

"I'm not happy with your attitude." Fiddleford told Tyler straight out. Tyler paled. "W-what do you mean, sir?" He didn't want to lose his internship from upsetting one of the owners."Was-Was I too loud when commenting and asking questions to you and Dr. Pines? And, maybe I-I complain a little bit when other scientists, great scientists, ask me to bring them coffee, but that's only because I feel I could be learning so much more from you…" Tyler tucked his metaphorical tail between his legs, sucking in his pride.

"It's not that." Fiddleford gave Tyler a stern stare. "We try to be a supportive environment, encouraging all of our workers to pursue whatever they're passionate about. People work better when they're happy after all." Tyler was confused. "What do you…"

"Why do you treat Miss Se like this?" Fiddleford asked. "You go out of your way to put her down and insult her. You purposely go around trying to make her miserable. Why? Are you attempting to sabotage her?" He glared. "Because we don't take kindly to people sabotaging others."

Tyler's eyes widened. "N-No! Of-Of course not, Dr. McGucket…" He looked down. "I-I'm not doing such a thing, why-why would you say that?" He mumbled. He didn't like to be called out like this. No one had done it before. Fiddleford didn't drop his stern glare. "Because I ain't blind. I've seen the way you treat her. We're all partners here, we're a team, and we work together. I don't like bullies and certainly not a bully trying to ruin someone else's career. So please, do us all a favour and behave like a professional, know where you're working at." Fiddleford raised an eyebrow. "And most importantly, behave like a man, because if you're going to be a child, then I don't think you should be doing an internship here. Is that clear?"

Tyler gritted his teeth and his fists. "Yes, Dr. McGucket…" He walked away, fuming. Stupid Fiddleford, telling him what he could and couldn't do! He wasn't a child! How DARE HE! He BET Viola went off crying to him! She was a bitch! He was going to teach her for being a snitch!

-.-

Viola couldn't take it anymore. She was done. She was tired of the daily harassment she had to endure just to have a decent day of work. Lately Tyler had gotten… worse. If that was even possible. He was sickeningly nice, it was so condescending. And creepy.

She was tired of it. She couldn't do it anymore. She wanted to go home. Tyler had been harassing her all these weeks and he treated her like trash. She wiped her tears as she walked towards Dr. Pines' lab, hugging herself. She just couldn't take it anymore. She had to talk to him. She wasn't strong enough to bear the insults, being called a useless idiotic bitch all the time…

"D-doctor Pines?" Viola tried very hard not to let her voice tremble. She didn't want to break down crying in front of the man she admired.

"Yes? Viola, come in." Ford let her come in and looked down at his notes. "I thought this was your day off?" Viola looked down at her hands.

"I-I want to quit the internship, Dr. Pines…"

Ford paused and looked up. "Why? Are we not providing you enough opportunities to learn or work experience?" he asked, a little worried. "Is the internship unsatisfactory in some way? If so, please tell me so that I may make the necessary changes." He really wanted the center to be the best after all.

Viola looked down and shook her head. "No, Dr. Pines… The experience I've gotten in the center was the best I've ever had… It was so enriching and...I've learned so much but-but I can't stay here… I-I know my school isn't like West Tech, I-I'm not worthy to stay here… I've been told so."

Ford blinked before taking a deep breathe. "Viola...I won't stop you if you really want to leave...but I can assure you that you are more than worthy." Ford stood up. "You are very intelligent and your worth is not determined by other people, especially not ones that mean you ill." Viola looked up, with tears in her eyes.

Ford walked over to the intercom device. "D-Dr. Pines? What are you doing?"

Ford was so annoyed. Viola was intelligent and sweet. Energetic as well. She reminded him of his oldest niece, and he wouldn't allow this behavior in his center. He didn't like bullies.

"Attention everyone, come to my lab immediately. If you have sensitive projects, please get to the point where you can leave it alone safely."

Violas eyes widened. No! No! She was going to look like a snitch! "No! Please, Dr. Pines!" She pleaded, feeling like she was going to cry.

Ford looked at her with a softer look. "You should have told me sooner that you were being harrassed. We don't tolerate this behavior in the center." Viola waited there, unable to move, until the door to Ford's lab opened and confused scientists and workers began to file in. She was too scared to stand there and ran to hide behind one of the workbenches.

"Sir? What's this about?" A scientist asked, scratching her head. Ford gestured for them to all stand over by the side wall. "I will inform you all of this meeting's purpose once you are all here."

The group of four scientists Ford knew best, Dr. Wexler, Clark, Poddar and Jerald, (he felt comfortable calling them friends, but they still kept their behavior professional around each other) were all huddled up in a corner, muttering theories of what was going on. They liked gossip, something Ford learned about them pretty quickly.

Tyler walked in looking down at his phone. It was his free day! What was going on?!

Ford looked around, checking that everyone was here. "Thank you all for arriving promptly. I will be conducting an experiment, as it were. Can all of you please face the wall and close your eyes?"

The people all shuffled around and got into place as their boss asked them. Viola was still mortified, reaching a hand out from behind the bench and tugging at Ford's sleeve. "It's fine. You don't have to-"

"Now, since you're all closing your eyes, this will be an experiment in which only I can see the results. This is part of the experiment, so relax and try to answer honestly for the accurate results of this test." Ford told them firmly.

"If you had breakfast today, please raise your hand." Ford started off simply. He made a note of the answers. Hm. So a few of them skipped. Perhaps he should ask them about their reasons later, see if maybe they simply couldn't find anything in the food hall that agreed with them, heck, Ford might have been using this roundabout interrogation to weed out Viola's abusers, but he was going to get other information while he was here. (And alright, he might be somewhat hypocritical about others skipping meals when he had done so plenty of times, but he was their boss and their health was his responsibility!)

"If you have gotten injured during work in the last month, raise your hand." Ford asked next. He continued on like that, asking simple questions and getting them all to relax, until they simply answered naturally, raising their hands to answer in the affirmative when it applied to them without thinking much on it. A few would hesitate before raising their hands, but Ford kept at it.

Finally, "If you think someone's school informs about their qualifications, raise your hand." Ford noted several hands raised, including Tyler. "If you think people shouldn't be allowed to work here because of these qualifications, raise your hand." A few hands went down but a few stayed up. Ford's eyes narrowed. It wasn't just about Viola anymore. He had more than just scientists working here at the Center after all.

There was the kitchen staff, working hard every day to stock fresh cooked meals for them all so they didn't have to waste time making their own food. There was the janitorial staff who worked tirelessly to clean all the labs so that things wouldn't contaminate their experiments. So if anyone actually thought someone's school or education mattered more than their actual work ethic, well… Ford had a lot to say on this matter. After all, Sebastian hadn't even graduated from school for the longest time, but that didn't make his tailoring work any less professional or high quality as anyone else.

"Dr. Baxter, Mr. Lodge, Dr. Mantle and Dr. Gio, please stay behind. Everyone else, you may go back to your work." Ford stated. The people all turned around and opened their eyes, only to pale at the expression on Ford's face. Many of them quickly made their way out the door, correctly guessing their boss was unhappy about something and wanting to get the heck out of there. The remaining four men (and Viola, still hiding behind one of the lab benches out of sheer mortification) stayed, worried about what this was all about.

Tyler looked up at his boss, waiting for him to talk. Ford had his hands behind his back and he seemed very serious about something. What was going on? "Yes, Dr. Pines?" Could he stop being so dramatic?

"Do you all think that one needs a degree from an Ivy League college to be allowed to work here?" Ford asked plainly. Dr. Mantle nodded. "This is a very important research center, it should only accept the best and brightest." He felt that was obvious. Ford's eyes narrowed. "So, our cleaning staff shouldn't be allowed to work here? The chefs? The secretaries?"

Dr. Mantle looked taken aback. "No, that's not what I meant. Just… the other scientist here should be from good schools. It would be dangerous to allow someone without the proper education to be near all these experiments, and if they were from some lesser school, they wouldn't have access to the facilities and teachers to-"

"So you're saying me and Dr. McGucket shouldn't be here?" Ford asked with a cold voice. They all took a step back, intimidated. Viola's eyes widened a bit. Was he really...They had never mentioned their school in public before and...he was doing it just now because some jerk bothered her?

"U-Uh…" One of the scientists stuttered. "N-No, of-of course not…" another one blurted out. "What do you mean, Dr. Pines? You-You certainly…"

"What I mean." He lowered his voice a little, making the men flinch a little. "Is that I am from Backupsmore, and I apparently didn't have the proper education or teachers, despite the fact that they helped me when no other college would do so, because I had nothing and no money. They supported my career and even gave me a grant to study my chosen field. They believed in me and did their best to help me get a proper education, even if they couldn't afford all the best teachers, they still gave me a place where I could learn. Backupsmore isn't some fancy Ivy League school, but it was my school. And I will not have you all tell me that all my effort has been for nothing, just because I was turned down from West Coast Tech."

The men were speechless, Viola had tears in her eyes, feeling so honored and happy someone was finally standing up for her and defending her school. She was doing everything she could not to cry. This was NOT the moment!

Dr. Mantle almost fainted, realizing how much he fucked up, and the others were staring at their boss in a mix of fear and respect. Stanford was very scary when he wanted to be, especially glaring down at them and speaking so authoritatively. He had a pretty deep voice.

Tyler let out a shaky laugh and shook his head. "...You...You're kidding...You MUST be kidding, sir...Someone like you couldn't possibly come from such a loser school like-" he was cut off the sheer intensity of Ford's stare. This was a man who survived in space for 13 years. A man who fought head to head with a near-all-powerful demon who invaded his dreams countless times. Tyler faltered and his legs trembled. "So you think Backupsmore is a 'loser' school?" Ford asked, deceptively calm. Tyler couldn't even say anything. One of the other scientists actually peed himself a little bit.

"I-I...A little bit…" The older men stared at Tyler, thinking he was just utterly insane. How could he not realize he should just SHUT. UP?!

"But not you...you're cool Dr. Pines, just, other people who study there aren't as good as you! O-or Dr. McGucket! L-like, you guys are geniuses and-" Tyler tried to explain. But that only made Ford angrier. "Other people here? Like Miss Se?" he asked. Tyler nodded. "Y-yeah, like, she's just some frog girl. She's not good enough to-"

"Pack your bags and GET OUT!" Ford thundered. Tyler's eyes shot open. "S-sir?!"

"Did I stutter? I said GET OUT." Ford pointed at the door. "Your Internship is hereby terminated and I will be writing a letter to West Coast Tech to inform them of how disappointed I am with your behavior and your attitude."

Tyler gasped "Y-you can't! My parents would kill me-"

"This research center was built as a place to nurture and encourage people, scientists, brilliant minds and thinkers, to work on advancing humanity and changing the world. It's a place where we support anyone who wants to learn and make something new into the world." Ford said as he leered down at Tyler. "It is NOT, nor will it ever be, a place where anyone is allowed to insult, belittle or hinder and sabotage our fellow scientists. Someone like you doesn't belong here." Ford threw Tyler's words back at him. "So get out."

He turned to the other scientists. "And you all, I will be monitoring you, if I see any of you behaving in any way similar to that boy there, you're fired. Understand?" The other scientists nodded quickly, pale as can be and scared out of their wits.

Tyler let out an angry sob. "You'll hear from my lawyers, Stanford! I'm going to fucking ruin you for ilegal firing!" The young man spat before storming out. Ford waved at him. "Hope they know how to read contracts and work rules~" He and Fiddleford had gone over the Internship terms very carefully while writing it up. He was given the right to terminate any Intern's contract at any time. Tyler stormed out of the room and shouted over his shoulder, "That bitch's probably fucking you, isn't she?! Figures! She'd be sucking your cock every day like the slut she is to keep her internshi-" he was cut off by Fiddleford, standing right outside the door, shoving an ear of corn into his mouth.

"I'll be sure to include 'makes sexually harassing statements about his fellow intern and boss' into your list of offences." Ford nodded at Fiddleford, thankful his friend shut the boy up. "In the meantime…" Ford walked over to the intercom and pressed the button. "Security, I need you to escort someone off the premises."

The other scolded men left the lab after making profuse apologies, and after Ford closed the door (secretly loving the sound of Tyler's indignant screaming as he was dragged out), he looked around. He wasn't really sure where Viola hid.

"Miss Se? You can come out. The coast is clear."

Viola came out of her hiding spot, unable to hold back tears anymore, and approached her boss. She wasn't sure why she was crying, but she knew one of her emotions was happiness, happiness for finally having justice and being freed from Tyler's awful presence.

"Th-Thank you, Dr. Pines...Thank you." Ford crouched (Viola was very short and he was very tall), and smiled a bit. "The problem has been eradicated. You have nothing to apologize for. Now you can continue your internship until summer is over." Viola giggled wetly and sniffled. Ford sounded so formal sometimes…

She rubbed her arm awkwardly. "I know this sounds weird...but can I hug you? I feel like my thanks is not complete."

Ford blinked before nodding. "Um, alright sure." His first intern hugged him with complete gratitude for standing up for her and believing her, something that many women harassed at work didn't get. Ford wasn't sure what to do with his hands and ended up patting her head, awkward. "Ah, yes. Well. You're very welcome Miss Se. Ah…"

Viola laughed as she let go and stepped back. "T-thank you again, sir. I swear I won't let you down. I'm going to become an amazing scientist! I'm going to work really hard!"

"Just as long as you're having fun. I look forward to reading your papers in the future." Ford smiled.

Viola ran off, smiling so wide and feeling happier than she'd been in weeks.

And at the end of the shift, Ford had his four friends begging to know what happened (with more bets and money exchanging hands). He sighed.

-.-

The summer was finally ending and the twins were finally enrolled in preschool. They had found a local place that Seb and Wanda liked for the twins. It was close in case something happened and it was very nice. Stan had also enrolled Diego in preschool, the two brothers wanted their kids to finish at the same time. When they told their oldest and youngest brother about this, Shermie asked how he managed to get him accepted even though his toddler wasn't 3 yet. Stan just grinned and declared that teachers really loved rare pictures of their presidents~

The two sets of parents had gotten a list of things their kiddos needed to have for their classes. Stan had sent someone to buy them, but Seb had to go by himself, accompanied by the twins. He couldn't believe the amount of stuff a 3 year old needed to go learn THEIR NAMES AND COLORS!

And multiplied by two.

The list included hygiene products like their aprons, plastic aprons to paint, table cloths, toothbrush, toothpaste, toilet paper, and work materials, like sketchbooks, notebooks with big lines, cardboards, (thousands of them), color pencils, huge markers, pencils, erasers, glue (tons of glue), kid scissors, awls, the list went on and on. "This is a robbery! The school will keep most of the things I'm buying and then ask me for more next year!" Seb complained to himself. Why didn't Stan make a school? He'd get tons of money robbing others like this!

The twins enjoyed shopping though, they didn't really know it was for school, they just knew they were getting cool stuff to play and paint with. They felt helpful as Sebastian read the list aloud and they helped bring the needed stuff from the shelves. They also got to pick the notebooks they liked the most. Then, because everything needed to be labeled before handing it to the teacher, Seb spent an entire evening labeling each individual pen and marker. Multiplied by two. This was just ridiculous! He hated this! And Wanda wasn't even here! She was working! Not fair!

AND when she came home, she saw all the mess and unfinished work her eyes widened really big and quickly gave him a lame excuse to NOT help! She was an ass! Fine. He'd get REVENGE later. And Wanda will suffer! But he needed to finish this first…

After basic shopping, where the twins got very basic t-shirts and shorts to wear at preschool (because like hell was Seb sending them there with their pretty clothes just for them to RUIN them. He knew from experience that kids could get very messy at that age), and after giving the required materials to their soon to be-teacher, the first day of classes arrived.

Stan, Seb later learnt, simply hugged and kissed his smallest baby and went to work, and it was Carla who took him to the first day. He was so angry at him for that, not accompanying Diego to his first day of school! How dare he!

However, because Seb was a good dad to the offspring he created, he and Wanda were there to accompany their babies. Zoe was frowning a bit, holding daddy's hand with one hand as she held her little backpack' handle. Zully looked more nervous, shaking as they clung to mommy's leg.

"It'll be alright, baby, I promise." Wanda stroked their head. She had combed Zully's hair into two adorable braids and Zoe was wearing two ponytails. "You will have a lot of fun here! You and your sister will make new friends to play with!" She insisted and Seb added. "Yeah, like in the park! You like playing with kids in the park. Here it's the same, there are kids and you'll get to play and paint all you want!"

Zoe shook her head and laid down on the floor. "Don't wanna!" She pouted. Seb picked her up and put her on her feet once again. "Hey, we gotta go shopping, there's no food at home and we won't be able to have lunch if I have nothing to cook! Can you stay here until I finish shopping?" The two kids nodded slowly. "But-But you'll be back?" Zully's lower lip trembled and Seb couldn't help but hug them. "Of course I'll be back, of course! Don't worry about that…" Wanda kissed their foreheads as Seb rubbed their little backs.

"Thank you, guys." Wanda told them. They were handling this pretty well so far.

"But be back soon!" Zoe pouted, still feeling kinda nervous. She had never been so far away from dad, but they were big girls, and they could stay here and wait for dad. She looked inside the class and had to admit the place looked really fun.

"Another thing, yes? Don't use fire here, ok? This is a secret only we Pines-Friedmann can do, ok?" Seb said, using a very mysterious voice to keep the kids' attention. "We have cool powers those other silly humans don't! So we gotta keep it to ourselves...just-just so others don't feel bad about their powerless selves~" He wished they shouldn't have to hide though...

Zoe and Zully giggled and promised not to show unworthy humans their powers.

"Bye, daddy! Bye, mommy!" The twins waved as their parents walked away. Their teacher smiled at them and led them inside the class. Wanda sighed in relief and smiled at Seb, who was pouting now that the twins couldn't see him. "They're gone...They went to their first class…" He sniffled. Wanda kissed his cheek and bid him farewell. She had work to do. "See you in the evening, baby. Don't worry, they'll be fine."

Seb went back home. Yes. He didn't need to go shopping. He lied just to convince the twins to stay. Now that he was home alone, he could cry all he wanted. HIS BABIES! THEY'RE ALL ALONE IN THE EDUCATION SYSTEM NOW! He was going to miss them soooo muchh! They were probably waiting for him to come back for them! Seb rolled around on the ground, screaming. He missed his baaaaabies~! And they were probably missing him toooooo! He bet Zully was crying- his poor baby was always so scared around new people-

Back at Daycare, Zully was laughing along with their twin as the two ran around playing tag with the other children. So many new friends!

Seb whimpered as he curled up in the corner of the room. He needed to do something to take his mind off this. He pulled out his tablet to work on some sketches, heck, he was going to have to submit some stuff in for a fashion show he was planning to have… but he couldn't get into it, distracted as he was.

He wished he could see how they were doing, but spying wasn't an option when there weren't many triangles. Stupid square and circle centered world! He should get them a pendant to check on them too. It worked pretty well with Wanda! And he made sure Linda was safe in her new job. She seemed to have a new patient. He was very, VERY handsome, but Seb was trying to prove himself to be a better person so he wasn't actually spying. He tried not to see too much about their personal stuff. Seb merely checked to see that Linda was doing well and then left before the sessions with her new patient started.

"Stupid...mind...I-wanna-work!" He complained as he scribbled on his tablet. His phone rang-a distraction! And quickly picked it up. "Yellow!" It was Shermie, he was only calling to complain and rant (his wife forbid him from doing it at home with them). "Seb! Have you seen the candidates!?" Oh, this was a political rant. This should be fun.

"Nah, I don't vote, I don't care." Seb shrugged but quickly laughed when Shermie groaned. "Well, you should try to make yourself care a little more. Most of these guys are jokes and they'll be running YOUR country for the next 4 years."

Seb shrugged. "Well...then, just reelect the last one? Michelle's husband?" He could feel his younger brother deadpanning at him. "You can't reelect someone 3 times."

"It's been 2 times already?!" He put Shermie on free speaker to search for the candidates names and all he found were memes. VERY FUNNY MEMES MIND YOU! But they couldn't be true...could they?

"Ok, I think I saw this orange guy on TV, the hell happened to him, oh my god...I know this woman...aaanndd I don't know this other guy, but why is he called a serial killer? Anddd this grandpa looks nice?"

Shermie went silent on the other side. "Oh my god…" He whispered, stressed. "We're so fucked up…" Seb laughed. "It'll be fine, don't worry, at the end they'll end up voting for this woman or the nice grandpa. Then they won't do shit for the next few years, maybe build a road and that's that. I, however, I'm going through a very much more important crisis, Sherman, so if you could stop being so selfish and listen to my problems, it would be nice."

"Seb! This isn't a joke!" Shermie whined. "I'm worried about our choices. Things would be really bad if the wrong person gets elected- Shlump is a terrible human being and he's rising in popularity-"

"His NAME is SHLUMP?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Seb laughed hysterically. He almost fell from the couch, laughing so hard. "He has to win! Just for that stupid name!"

"NO!" Shermie cried. "He's a racist motherfucker- and he's like… really sexist too! Abi says she's seen him on TV even before this in a bunch of shows and even back then he was an asshole! He's assaulted women before! And then he just throws money around to try and sweep it under the table."

Seb stopped laughing and hummed in thought, that sounded horrible indeed. "Ok, I think I can check on their plans, I guess, but I still don't know if I'm gonna vote at all." Shermie smiled. "GREAT! I made a comparative chart on Excel for you to see their proposals based on economical, social, and political plans. I'll send it to the Stans as well, because they must be as politically unaware as you."

"Well, if all else fails, the reptilian shadow government would probably step in to make sure the elections go however they want anyway." Seb shrugged.

Shermie refused to believe supernatural creatures controlled their government. It was one thing to know they existed, other that they had influence on their world.

"Alright. I sent it. Now I can listen to your crisis." Shermie said, hoping his brothers would care more about the elections after reading his elaborate chart! He was always very dedicated to this.

"Well...The twins first day of daycare was today and I feel sad and alone…We're always together." Seb sighed and his brother chuckled. "Aw~ That's why you should work, you wouldn't have time to think about them."

"I work! But at home!" Seb scoffed. "Who would cook and clean around if I weren't here?" He shook his head. "But...it's not that, I watch them, I'm with them the most...I feel empty…"

Shermie giggled. "It's ok, Seb, I know how you feel, but you'll get used to it, I promise. And best of all, we have twins, we know they're together in there, they aren't alone in their first day.."

Seb had to agree that his younger brother was right. His phone buzzed and it showed he was being called from the store. "Hey, Shermie, speaking of my work, I gotta hang up, have a pending call."

"Ok, bro, see ya, calm down ok? And read the chart!" Seb rolled his eye, agreed and took the next call. "Yes? What happened?"

"Hey, boss, a box was delivered to the store, but we didn't order anything, it's for you." The woman on the other side said. "For me?" Seb blinked. Who would send him stuff at the store?

"Yeah, the paper pasted on the outside says it's for this location but the person it's 'to' says Sebastian Pines, and it comes from New York." She examined it a bit more. "Oh, and the one who sent it was some Jackson...I can't pronounce his last name."

What? Jack?! Why would he send him a package? "Ok, I'll go see it, thanks." He hung up and called "Kids! We're…."

Right...No kids until 1pm…

Seb picked up the box from work, talked to a few customers, who were very happy to see him present (he only showed up if a personalized dress/suit was supposed to be made), and then went back home, still wondering what was inside that box. Maybe it was a present! That would be nice.

Once he was in the living room, he tried to open the box like a normal person using a cutter, but failed, cursed and decided to bite it open. And now, finally (still spitting packing tape), he could see what was inside the box. On top of the 'thing', which was wrapped in bubble wrap, so cute, there was a letter. It read "From Jack to Will!" He rolled his eye at that. he guessed that name stuck. "Hi, Sebastian! It's me, Jack, I guess you already know that because my name is on the box, but whatever. I was cleaning my dad's house a few days ago and I found this box full of your old stuff, from when you used to live with us!"

Oh...So this is what's going on!

"I thought you might like it back. I didn't know your home address, so I sent it to your store, congrats on that by the way! I'm totally visiting someday when I'm in the area! I hope you're doing fine, my wife and Jamie say hi! -J.N"

Seb chuckled. This was totally Jack. He couldn't believe he cared enough to send this back to him. He worked for them for like, 2 years max, and they cared. They were nice people. He pulled out the stuff inside and he couldn't help but laugh aloud. Oh god, why would he need these clothes back?! One. These were too tiny for him now (as surprising as that sounded!), and two. It was so from the 80s, maybe 90s! He could donate them, or reuse the fabric, that was a thing.

He did find money though, that was awesome, and an old sketchbook (Burn it with fire! He drew everywhere didn't he? And they were sooo baadd) He also found his old blanket and THAT made his chest clench a bit. Oh. Wow. He wondered if his brothers still had theirs...The only reason he was holding this again was because he took his blanket to Matsuda's place at some point...He felt safer there than at home…

And then, an old photo.

He looked so young in this, maybe even younger than Dillon and the twins were right now. He was holding the camera (the old way to take a selfie) and grinning widely. He was hugging an old man next to him, graying hair neatly combed and a sheepish smile at the camera. Matsuda…

Seb ran a finger over the photo and smiled sadly. He looked so young here, and happy and healthy...Seb let out a sob, but he felt just so happy. He thought he would never see Matsuda's face again! "Oh circles...I had forgotten about that dimple there…" He giggled softly to himself. And he thought he remembered his face clearly…

Seb felt much better the rest of the day, he remembered the nice moments he spent with his Dad and then he remembered the time he spent with Jack when they were both younger. That made him want to write a letter to him as well! So he did, thanking him so much for this present, and told Jack he was getting married soon. He'd be honoured if Jack was there. Seb quickly went to the post office to leave the letter, (because if he didn't do it now, he'd forget) and then decided to make a yummy lunch for his family in preparation for when they returned.

He barely noticed when it was time to pick up the twins, with how happily distracted he was. (Luckily, he set an alarm on his phone to remind him.) "KIDS!" He roared when the teacher appeared with them, holding each one in one hand. ""DADDY!"" The blond twins roared as well and ran towards their dad to throw themselves on his legs. "We missed you!" Zoe giggled when Dad picked them and snuggled them. The teacher cooed. "They were very good girls today, Mr. Pines~ They were very helpful and nice to the other kids."

"Oh~ You were~ I guess you DO deserve Mac and Cheese right now!" Zoe and Zully screamed and pulled Seb's nose and hair in their excitement. "Ow!"

"See you tomorrow, girls?" The teacher asked. Zully wrinkled their nose at that but Zoe nodded. "I wanna paint more!" They waved at the teacher and were put in their car seats to go home.

"Daddy, you missed us?" Zully asked, kicking their little feet as Zoe tried to look out of the window. "No. I was glad you were gone~~!" Seb lied with a funny voice to indicate it was a joke and Zoe laughed. Zully pouted though. Zully couldn't understand those pitch changes in peoples' voices (and had a little trouble picking up sarcasm), but Seb and Wanda didn't know about that. So Zully was a little confused. Daddy said he was glad they were gone, but that couldn't be true. So why was daddy lying?

"So, what did you do today? Did you like it?" Seb asked as he drove.

"YEAH! Why we didn't come befowe?!" Zoe demanded. "It was weally nice! I wiked it! We pwayed! And-And we painted! And we went to the swings! And we pwayed with many kids!"

Seb cooed and parked the car. The daycare was very close to their home. "And what do you think, Zully?" Seb turned back to look at his toddlers. Zully hummed and pulled at their messed up braid. "I wiked too...Eating my snacks was hawd though…" Seb freed them from their carseats and put them down.

"Why though?"

"Becuz-becuz kids all stood up and ran and played and taked their snacks to pway, but I don't know how they can wun and pway and eat at the same time!" Zully held Seb's hand as they walked inside the house. Zoe threw her backpack to the side and ran inside to say hi to her toys.

Seb laughed and picked up Zully, they were too far away from him. "Oh well, not all kids are as careful as you, pumpkin, you're adorable when you sit down to eat before going to play."

Zully shook their head. "No! I mean, they were running! And they were eating too! How can you eat and see?"

Seb stopped and looked at his child with a confused look. "What?" He knew Zully ate closing their eyes, but he thought it was just a tick? Something they did because they wanted to? "Baby, you can eat and see too, you know?"

"No! No one can!" Zully exclaimed very convinced. Seb was about to speak when Zoe came back, demanding his phone to search for a song.

"We sang many songs today, daddy! Find them!" She pleaded. Zully grumbled. "I didn't like the songs, though...Evewyone sing thewe! I don't like singing." They didn't understand it at all. The weird sounds going all up and down and everyone told them that they sounded weird when they tried to sing along.

"whAAATTT~?" Seb laughed. "What do you mean you don't like singing?! Gaasspp! How can you be my daughter if you don't like singing~ that's like a SIN!" He cried with mock offense. Zoe giggled. "A sin!"

Zullys eyes welled up with tears. "But...but you are my daddy…" They sobbed, with fat tears welling up in their brown eyes. Daddy always made these mean comments. Zoe always laughed and said they were funny, but Zully couldn't understand how they were funny at all!

Seb's eye widened when he realized he fucked up and quickly went to hug his kid. "Nononononononono! I'm so sorry, sweetie! I was joking! Ok? You're my daughter yes? You're my kid, my spawn, my blood, and my flesh and my bones!"

"Ew." Zoe said, but didn't look disgusted at all, she was smiling widely.

Seb picked Zully up, because they were starting to sniffle and sob, and kissed their nose. "I'm sorry. It really doesn't matter if you don't like singing, ok? I was just joking, sweetie…"

"How-How do I know when youwe jokin?" Zully rubbed their eyes. "It huwts…" Seb felt like a terrible dad for making his baby cry. "Well, there's...there's this way of talking, you change your voice when you're not being serious about something...Like...It's different Noooo~ REeaaallyyy~ from Noo! Really?!...You get it?"

"No." Zully shrugged. It sounded different, a little, but it was hard to tell. Actually, they couldn't really hear a difference at all, just a strange bit at the end, but they didn't understand.

Seb sighed. "Ok, you know what? How about we go eat lunch, yes? I made Mac and Cheese~ And then we can go eat ice cream!"

""YEAH!"" The twins cheered and they ran into the kitchen. Seb shook his head fondly. It was very weird, but he was in a good mood, and despite Zully still eating with their eyes closed, humming happily (a rumbling sound with no real melody, more of a singular toneless rumble), Seb was sure this wasn't something serious. Zully just had trouble understanding sarcasm and music, everyone was different after all. Maybe Zully just wasn't the type of person who understood that sort of thing. Their lunch went excellent, and the twins were eager to go back to daycare again, despite the 'singing' that Zully still didn't get. Seb was so glad their first day of school went so well!

-.-

"Oh my god~ Our last first 4th period of our 6th day of school! We will never have a 4th period in our 6th day ever again!" "We gotta make it memorable!"

"Hey Dipstick!" A bunch of girls who were his and Mabel's friends ran towards him and took a photo of his confused face before running away shouting "Memories!" "We'll never see Dipper's confused face again!"

Dipper rolled his eyes. He was tired. Girls and some boys were going cray cray at being seniors. He got it, graduation was coming up, but they had to calm down.

"Eeeehhh~~" A high pitched voice squealed behind him and jumped to his back, Dipper stumbled but he managed to remain on his feet and carry his crazy twin. "Dipper, can you believe we're seniors?! The place is so HYPE! It makes me SO excited!" She held herself up by hugging his neck. She tried nibbling his neck and Dipper cried. "Aahh! Dont bite me! You even have braces again!"

Mabel huffed. "Don't remind me…" Her wisdom teeth had come out and she didn't notice until it was too late. It had moved her teeth and the dentist said she needed braces again to fix the damage. Dumb teeth!

This did not dampen her mood and she continued talking to her twin. "I should get Smile Dip to celebrate~ Maybe get some to spike the punch, huh?!" She had contacts...

"No, Mabel, no hallucinogens in our graduation party." Dipper laughed and put her down on her feet. "Pssh! What's the worst that can happen? People could get possessed again but that's nothing!"

Dipper blinked. "Yeah, just possession." He deadpanned.

"Have you picked up your prom jacket?!" Mabel asked excitedly. "They accepted my design!"

"Yeah, I haven't, but I've seen it. I think it has a lot of fake glitter on it…" Mabel laughed. "Well, people voted for it! It's called a democracy, Dipper! It was invented back with the romans!"

"Athens, but nice try, sis." Dipper punched her shoulder gently. Mabel rolled her eyes before gasping. "Oh right! Remember I slept at Jenny's the other day?! Bam!" She lifted her sweater's sleeve and Dipper gasped. She got a tattoo of a shooting star! The skin was still a little swollen from the procedure. Mabel even wrapped it in plastic to keep it from smudging as it healed.

"Mabel! Wha- Did you convince mom? I thought she told you no?"

Mabel hugged him by his shoulders. "Oh Dipper, you'll never learn will you? When there's no cops around, anything's legal!"

"I think Uncle Stan and Seb are a terrible influence." Dipper declared. Mabel rolled her eyes. "Well, at least I'm not wasting a year studying even more!" Dipper groaned. "It's not my fault you want to laze around for an entire year. At least I'm taking that year to further my knowledge before going to college, do you know what you want to do yet?"

"Uuuurgggghhhhhhh! Stop tormenting meeeee!" Mabel whined and blew a lock of hair out of her face. Dipper chuckled. "Ok, ok...That year will help you clear your mind, meanwhile you can busy yourself thinking about Sebastian and Stanley's wedding."

Mabel stopped abruptly and bumped against a girl, who didn't look happy at all about it. "WHAT?!" She screamed. Dipper grinned, finally knowing something before Mabel did. "Didn't you hear~? Uncle Seb and Stan are having a double wedding!"

Mabel leaped into the air and screamed. "OH MY GAWD! HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?!" She grabbed Dipper by his jacket and shook him back and forth. "I need a dress! And a suit for Waddles!"

"I doubt Waddles is invited." Dipper deadpanned as he resigned himself to being waved around like a rag doll. Mabel finally released him and scoffed. "Of course Waddles is invited! Grunkle Seb LOVES Waddles!" Mabel let out a squeak. She was so excited for this! A wedding! A DOUBLE wedding! That was like… DOUBLE the romance!

Mabel facetimed her uncle later in the day to complain about not being the first one to know.

"I'm sorry? I told Shermie, I thought he would tell you."

"Dad sent two 12 year olds to an unknown uncle and was going to go on a flight without telling said uncle we were on the way." Dipper added. "He has a chicken's memory."

"So~?! Are there any specific colors?! I want to get Waddles a nice little suit!" Mabel squealed. Waddles oinked along with her.

"No. Absolutely not." Seb crossed his arms. "You're not taking that jerk to my wedding!" Waddles grunted. Seb narrowed his eye. "Nope. You won't be able to convince me." Waddles tilted his head to the side and let out another grunt. Seb scowled. "Hell no. I don't care what you say, you're not coming!" Waddles blinked at him slowly and squealed.

"Auuuhh! FINE! You can come! But you better not poop in the reception hall!" Seb growled at Waddles before turning to Mabel. "And he BETTER be on a leash all the time or we are serving him as a dish!"

Mabel squealed and hugged her pig. "Thank you, Uncle Seb! You're the best! I knew you'd agree! You DO love Waddles!"

"A dinosaur almost killed us for it, I tolerate him." Seb sneered. "A pterodactyl." Dipper corrected intelligently, wincing a bit when both Mabel and Seb glared at him.

Now that Mabel knew Waddles was invited too, she continued abusing her privilege as Seb's only niece. "SO~ Are you inviting everyone in town~? Can I invite my friends?" She fluttered her eyelashes. Seb groaned. "By town I'm guessing you mean Gravity Falls? Eehhhh I'm inviting Soos and Wendy. And McGucket. And I guess Wendy's family can come too. And Abuelita of course. And I think Soos would want to bring Melody. And Susan would probably want to come too…"

Mabel giggled. So, if Seb kept this up, he was going to invite the whole town. After Seb debated aloud if he should avoid inviting Bodacious T just to spare the guests from Wanda's side of the family, and Mabel screamed "You HAVE to invite Toby!", Seb shook his head. "Wait. Is this my wedding or yours, Shooting Star?"

"I'm your favorite niece! I get privileges!"

"I'm not letting Toby Determined anywhere near my wedding." Seb deadpanned. Mabel pouted. "Can you at least invite Candy, Grenda and Pacifica?" She paused. "And Marius. Imagine having a Baron at your wedding. So high class!"

"Sure I'll invite your friends." Seb grinned. "But this guest list is getting long. Am I supposed to just invite everyone?" He joked. Mabel cheered and pulled out her phone. "DON'T ACTUALLY INVITE EVERYONE!" Seb cried.

"Well at least you remembered to invite Dan. You know he helped me and Dip-Dop escape the government guys that day you brought the Stans back?"

"Wait , what?" Seb blinked. Dipper sighed. "Long story. But he bumped his truck against the car and after the crash we got out."

Seb twitched. "I want to hear more about that later. That was really fucked up for him to do. You guys could have died." He was going to have a talk with Dan...

"Oh! If you're inviting McGucket, you need to invite his wife and son too." Mabel pointed out.

"And what about Gideon, Shooting Star~? He is part of town too~" Seb teased with a smirk. There was NO way he was inviting the Gleefuls (and now that he thought about it, he hadn't seen them since the twins were infants), but it was incredibly fun to tease his niblings.

Mabel's face turned dark and she looked away. "Uuuuh… we parted ways and he said he was going to be better, but I still don't want to see him. He tried to kill us."

"So did Dan, apparently, but somehow that's ok?" Seb deadpanned. He wished he'd known this, it was so dangerous and his twin niblings had been smol babies!

"Well, I did purposely make him angry to try and make him hit us with the truck, that's different." Mabel waved off. Dipper groaned. "We were pretty desperate." He paused. "Mabel's also really good at writing backward. I never realized it before that point."

"Right…" Seb nodded slowly, not understanding what writing backward had to do with anything. "Well, as long as Shermie doesn't know I think it's ok. He'd try to kill me for that."

Mabel started naming people in town (and Dipper and Seb realized she basically knew the names of everyone?!), and Seb rejected most of them. He didn't recognize (or remember) all the names, and as much as he would like it, he couldn't invite everyone. It was a double wedding, so it was also Wanda, Carla and Stan's guests.

"I'll send you the notes I made so you can reconsider!" She exclaimed and Seb rolled his eye fondly. She knew how to abuse her privileges. He had a feeling Shermie and Stan wouldn't want daughters (since that would involve having more children, which they just weren't in the mood for) and Ford was out of the picture, so Mabel will abuse her powers until she was old and gray.

"Alright. I want you in a suit, Dipper! And bathed! And smelling like expensive perfume! No cheap ass cologne!" Seb warned the boy with a serious look.

Dipper rolled his eyes. "I know, I'll wear a suit! I'm not a child!" And he'd bathe because it's a special occasion!

"Sure you aren't, bye, pests~" Seb teased before hanging up. As soon as he ended the call, his own set of blond twins pushed the door of his room open and ran towards him giggling. They wanted to cuddle!

"Hey~ What were you two doing? I hope nothing's on fire!" He picked them up with his mind and the twins hugged him. "Nope! No fiwe!" Zully promised. "Who wewe you talking to?!" Zoe demanded.

"To Dipper and Mabel, about mommy and daddy's wedding." He explained. The twins giggled. They were told mommy and daddy were making a party to show everyone how much they loved each other, and that made them very happy.

"Daddy, awe you excited to mawy mommy?" Zoe asked and Seb laughed. "At first I wasn't sure, but now, heck yeah! I'm very excited!"

"And how it will be? Like in movies?" Zully asked. "And mommy will weah a long cute dwess like a pwincess?"

Seb scoffed. "Mommy won't wear anything princessy. I have seen her options. They're pretty, elegant, but not pompous enough." Wanda didn't like those kind of clothes. "You make clothes! You will make heh dwess?" Zoe asked.

"Nah, but I'll make my own suit! The best, bestest suit in the history of suits!" He poked their bellies and the twins squealed and kicked their legs. "I'LL be a prince, excuse you~" He looked at Zully.

"And we will go too?"

"Of course you will! That reminds me, we gotta start looking for clothes for you two. What do you want to wear? A dress? Formal pants? A suit?" They shrugged and Seb sighed. It was ok. They still had time.

But meanwhile~

"Hey, do you wanna see how my suit's coming along?" It was his best work so far, in his humble opinion, and he had made very incredible things, (also in his humble opinion). He would sell the design later (this was his masterpiece and he planned to make it just a little bit more expensive than his usual designs), so other men could marry looking fabulous as well.

He took the twins to his work room, they weren't allowed to come in usually, but he was the one who offered. He tied their hands to their backs with his powers for precaution, they laughed (kind of used to this), and he pulled out his suit. "Ta dahhh~"

Zoe and Zully gasped in awe. "It's SO PWETTY!" Zoe screamed as loud as she could. Seb laughed. "Yes it is! I'm gonna look FABULOUS~!" Zully was grinning so wide as they stared at the pretty suit. They wanted to be able to wear something like that someday...

-.-

Stan was checking over the wedding invitations. So many people. He wasn't sure if the building they chose for the reception would actually fit all of them, even when it was a HUGE place. But he had a checklist to make sure he got all the invitations he needed for this. The CEO groaned and rubbed his eyes. (His eyes hurt, he really shouldn't go around not wearing glasses. He wasn't 20 anymore.) So many names…

And worst of all, as it was a big event, they had to check the names and verify them with a copy of their ID. Ugh. For security reasons. Almost everyone had sent their copy…

"Hey Maaaa!" Stan screamed. "Can you give me your ID for a seeecccond!?" He sat there, screaming, until his pissed mom finally showed up. "Are you 5, Stanley? Don't scream!" She said, annoyed at how childish he still was. Stan rolled his eyes and grabbed the ID and gave it a look.

Stan frowned. "Ma, your name is wrong, you know?" The old woman leaned closer and grinned. "Nah, it's fine."

"But it says Caryn! Not Kari!" He complained. Kari laughed louder. "Because that's my name, Stanley."

Stan's jaw dropped. "What?"

Kari muffled her laughter behind a hand. "Kari is my nickname." Goodness, she didn't realize her son actually thought-

"What!?" Stan looked so gobsmacked at this that Kari almost choked while laughing.

"How-How come I'm learning this now?! Why did you lie to us like this?! This is JUST like when you lied by telling us I was the oldest triplet! How COULD YOU?!" He complained loudly, which made the woman just laugh harder. Stan was so shocked and so pissed and BETRAYED with the news that he forgot about the guest list and called his brothers.

And to no one's surprise, none of them knew Kari wasn't their mom's actual name. He thought he even heard Seb cry? Kari found it all hilarious.

Carla had to pay up Wanda and Abi after the brothers discovered. For next time, she knew the safe bet would always be betting against the Pines brothers' intelligence. Sigh.

-.-

The date of the wedding was coming closer. Seb gave up on convincing his brother to look amazing. Fine. It was better for him to SHINE ALONE!

Stan had his suit ready, the place was rented as well as the services they'd be using. Curiously enough, it took the press a while to know about the wedding. And now he guessed it was a public thing.

One day, he found himself trapped in the living room with his Ma because Diego fell asleep on his lap and he couldn't move without waking him up, so he watched Tv with her, chatting lightly during commercials.

"So, everything's ready huh?" Kari asked. She occasionally remembered the day the triplets and Shermie discovered her real name and still giggled from time to time.

"Yup, I guess we just gotta wait now...I hope we get nice presents, this is turning out to be more expensive than I thought." He mumbled, and Kari chuckled. "That would be nice, but the important thing is that you're marrying your loved one, it's a special moment…"

Stan gently rubbed Diego's back. "Ma...Did you really love Pa when you married him?" He asked softly. Kari smiled sadly. "I did, yeah. A HELL lot...I met him when we were both young and he was very nice, he seemed polite and responsible, and...he'd take me to dance, it was wonderful…" And then it happened. He changed, he became violent and cold. To her, to their kids…

"Why do you ask? Are you afraid of compromise?" She teased.

Stan shook his head. "Ma, I've got two kids with that amazing woman, I love her...I was just...I don't know, thinking that maybe you didn't love Pa at all and…" he rubbed the back of his neck. "And I felt...bad that you had to go through that…"

"Oh, Stanley, you don't have to worry about me." Kari smiled. "I do, you're my mom." Stan rolled his eyes. "You've always cared about us, even after everything and...that we ended up being two more than you expected…" He shrugged.

"Well neither of you were expected." Kari admitted softly. "We thought it was just one boy at first, but the scan came back and the doctors were surprised to see two of you. And then… well, even the doctors weren't expecting Sebastian."

Stan grinned. "Well, we're awesome like that." Kari giggled. "You are~" She said before sighing. "If I'm honest with you, son, I was very worried when I got pregnant with you...Your father wasn't...very happy…"

"Ah, gee, I had no idea~!" Stan said sarcastically. Kari chuckled. "I still don't know why though, we were already married and all...He had a lot of trouble when we found out you were "two"...but he came to terms with it, he even chose your name~"

"Creative guy~" Stan nodded with mock appreciation.

"I think having triplets was too much for him…" of course it wasn't Seb's fault.

"Still. Even if he had wanted us, even just a little bit more, he wouldn't have cared. That guy's like stone, expressionless, he doesn't care about anyone...I have a feeling he'd only complain and be a jerk if he went to our wedding…" Stan grumbled.

"Are you...planning to invite him?"

"Oh, hell NO! I wouldn't do that to Seb! He made my triplets hurt." Filbrick could fuck himself for all Stan cared. "I'm just angry ranting about how little he would care"

Kari looked down, guilty that her sons hated their father so much, that they had to go through that…

"Oh no, don't do that, Ma!" Stan warned. "You don't have anything to feel sad for!" He pointed a finger at her, Diego still curled up on him. "We love you, ok? That's the only thing that matters!"

Stan shook his head. He wished things had been different. But they weren't. Things turned out this way, there was no changing that. His father was a jerk to them and nothing would change that. He was going to die a sad and lonely old man now, because neither of them cared enough for him. Stan hoped he was satisfied with his life, with his choices. And yes, Stan was very bitter about it. He'd… he'd used to look up to their dad, what child wouldn't, after all? But he learned that he was wrong. Filbrick wasn't a man to look up to. Stan shook his head. No point in getting himself all angry over it. There was nothing they could do now.

At least he ended up with no kids, just like he wanted.

-.-

The triplets groaned loudly as their little brother continued babbling about politics. Someone make him stop! "I know you're getting married soon, but you know what else is happening soon? Elections!"

"Shermie, I already said I'm voting." Seb deadpanned at the screen. "Yeah, but you're doing it for ME. You should do it for your country~!"

Seb could see where Mabel's passion came from.

"And you two, dumbasses! Are you registered yet? Will you be part of the future of the country?"

"...Sherman, there are like, two people in that list...both which I don't like…" Ford said slowly, and his youngest brother looked livid.

"You can't say both are the same though!"

"So I'm supposed to vote for the lesser evil?"

"Yeah~!"

Stan rubbed his forehead. "I don't know, kid. I've heard stuff from both, but I'd say Haylie does sound kinda worse, you know?"

Shermie's eyes almost came out of its sockets as Seb stared at Stan with an incredible look. "Are you being serious?" Seb asked as Shermie screamed "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOU'RE CONSIDERING IT?!"

"wELL...He IS a businessman-"

"Yeah, whose businesses FAILED! Has NO idea of politics and is a disgusting racist and sexist pig." Shermie ranted. Seb laughed, still feeling and hoping that his brother was joking. There was no way someone THAT outright awful could be running for president and doing well enough that he was actually one of the guys in the lead!

"Stan...I know you've been missing for 13 years...but there are things called PLANES AND BOATS!" Shermie stood up and put his face closer to the camera. "A million dollar wall is stupid as shit and a waste of money!" He screamed.

"Are you insulting me, kid?!" Stan growled and Shermie grinned. "Maybe! Did you read ANYTHING I sent you?!" Shermie practically screamed in Stan's face. "Sherman, what IS your problem?!" The three youngest started fighting and shouting and Ford was really tempted to end the call, this was getting weird.

"Abuelita is an immigrant." Ford decided to speak up, and it made the three of them stop yelling and look at him. "I don't know their legal status, would you risk having friends, good people and good citizens, deported because they don't have a paper? Many countries allow people to enter their countries with no problem." Ford shrugged. "Have you noticed this one has visas just for certain countries? We've been doing worse in space, trespassing, stealing, illegal possession of weapons~" Ford was smiling just a little bit. He wouldn't say he was proud about that...but he was proud they did THAT and survived!

Shermie and Seb shared a digital look and grinned. Wow. Their nerdy Goody two shoes bro had a CRIMINAL RECORD in space!? As they burst out laughing, Stan frowned. He was right! That Shlump guy could hurt Soos' family and Stan wouldn't allow that! If he had to, he would get his brass knuckles! Though… that probably wouldn't work in this case like it used to out in space.

-.-

The result were more than depressing, stupid and unfair, but they would try to ignore it in favor of the wedding…

A week before it, Wanda and Seb were together in the hairdresser, receiving coos from the women who thought it was adorable. The couple were getting their nails done together. They also shaved, especially Seb, much to Stan's snickers. His brother was so weird~

"Did you shave your whole body?"

"Yeah. Everything from the neck down."

"Ah, I see what you're planning to do after the wedding, huh?" Stan wiggled his eyebrows and Seb shrieked. "Ugh, you only think about that don't you?!"

"And I bet Wands does too~"

"Stop!"

The twins also got a manicure under Zoe's insistence and she loved her pink nails with a white heart. Zully wanted blue nails, because daddy was painting his a darker color too.

Their parents had their clothes ready, now mommy said they gotta choose a dress or a skirt for the twins to wear because it was a 'formal' event. Zoe wanted a pretty dress with a bow (or flowers!), but Zully wasn't sure they wanted a dress or a skirt…Daddy painted his nails so they agreed, but daddy wasn't wearing a dress or a skirt. Sure, he did at home sometimes, but only at home...

"Why don't you want to wear a dress, princess? It's not itchy at all and it's really soft and cute!" Wanda tried to negotiate.

"Daddy... daddy don't wear dwesses! He make them! Only giwls weaw dwesses!" Zully complained and stomped a foot. "But you're a girl, Zully…" Wanda muttered confused.

Seb sighed. "Hey, it's alright. We can get you a cute suit huh?" He picked them up and looked at Wanda. "I'm buying them a suit, you can go shopping for a dress with Zoe. They gotta go to the wedding with something they want." He said, and Wanda sighed but agreed. Seb was right, if Zully didn't want a dress, they could wear a suit, it didn't matter. She was supposed to be teaching them, as their mom, that they could wear whatever clothes they wanted! Wanda decided she was going to blame her mom for talking all week to her about the twins wearing pretty dresses. Wanda should have known she shouldn't listen to her mother's advice.

A few hours later, Seb met back with Wanda and Zully was skipping happily next to him, carrying their bag. "I have a suit!" They squealed, pure glee in their brown eyes. "I'll look like daddy!" Zully pointed at their dad, who was actually wearing a shirt and a suit jacket. Seb ruffled Zully's hair. "This little girl's got a fashion sense, Wands!"

Wanda couldn't help but smile. Both their kids liked the clothes they chose, that made her happy as well. Seb helped Zully change into their suit so they could show mommy. It was a white shirt, a little dark blue bow tie, a cerulean blue jacket and dark blue pants. Zoe asked Wanda to help her change as well so Daddy could see her clothes too, and the twins proudly showed off their clothes. "OOhh~ Fancy~~" Seb smiled and took a photo.

"No offense, love, but they obviously got it from me~" Seb batted his eyelashes at Wanda as he posed.

Wanda rolled her eyes. "That's fine, they get their intelligence from me." She teased back.

Seb gasped loudly. "How DARE you?!" He screamed. Wanda simply laughed hard. She couldn't wait to marry this idiot!

-.-

The day of the wedding was here. They arrived at New York yesterday and were staying at Stan's place. They had hired a nanny for their three toddlers, who would get them ready while the parents were busy.

"Good morning~" Wanda giggled, stroking Seb's sleepy face. "Uurghh!" "If we don't wake up, we won't have time for anything~ You wouldn't want to be late~"

That made him wake up. "Wedding!" He exclaimed. Seb jumped out of bed and met his brother and soon sister- in law to have breakfast. They were going to have a photoshoot before the wedding, first separate, then together and with their kids. For that, Stan cared enough to carefully shave his face. A professional makeup artist was coming for Stan's excited bride to help Carla with styling her hair and touching up her makeup. Carla wanted to look beautiful.

Seb wanted to do Wanda's makeup but they all told him that the groom wasn't supposed to see the bride before the ceremony. Seb sadly allowed Wanda to go with Carla to get her makeup done.

He did his own make up though. Just enough to look fabulous. Base, a bit of shadow, eyeliner, curl his eyelashes, mascara. He also defined his eyebrows too, and covered the small scar he got from when Filbrick slammed him too hard against the edge of the wall. He wouldn't hire a makeup artist anyway, he didn't like strangers touching him or being too close to him.

Dillon was sitting on the bed with Diego as he watched the two brothers get ready in HIS room. Mom and Aunt Wanda were in another room with the twins. He should be getting ready soon. He texted Phillip and asked if he was ready to be in the coolest wedding on Earth. Phillip replied with a literal 'no.' Dillon laughed. Looks like his boyfriend was nervous.

"Woah!" Stan gasped mid-tie tying when his brother came out of the bathroom and posed with his suit.

"Uncle Seb~!" The teen exclaimed. "That looks SO cool!" Diego gasped too. "Why is your suit not black like daddy?"

"Because I ain't no basic bish, Diego~" Sebastian grinned smugly at Stan who couldn't help the snort that escaped his mouth.

"Are you wearing heels?!" Stan exclaimed, realizing Seb was finally his height. He was wearing black shoes with thick and long heels. They looked kinda like boots. "Of course, how ELSE am I supposed to be tall?! DUH!" He rolled his eye. "And this~ Is not even the best part! But I ain't wearing it until the photoshoot and the wedding. Made two in case it got dirty or something." He opened the case where the 'best part' was neatly folded to give the men a sneak peek.

Dillon decided he wanted something like this for his own wedding someday. Phillip would love it!

The thought made him blush.

"You're insane…" Stan laughed and Seb tied his brother's tie. "Sure I am!"

-.-

So...Wanda finally saw the project her boyfriend took so long to make. He looked gorgeous and wonderful…

And she shook away the naughty thought of seeing him without it at the end of the day. Bad Wanda.

Carla was actually amazed by it and high fived Seb. "You look great!" She said. "Well, you look totally amazing too, Flower~" He held her hand and bowed. "May I say how adorable you look?"

Stan and Wanda shared a look. "Um, can you like, not flirt with my fiancée?" Stan grumbled. Seb laughed when Carla pulled him closer. His smile turned more serious when he finally saw Wanda closer. Her hair was curled and braided as a crown. He hadn't been there when she went shopping, but he was SO in love with her dress. It was so her and so pretty and her beautiful shoulders exposed and the most beautiful heart shaped cleavage and her delicate golden necklace…

"You- you look beautiful…" He whispered, speechless. Wanda smiled and looked down. "You look amazing…" then Seb paused. "Wait, didn't you guys say that I'm not supposed to see my bride until later?"

Carla giggled. "Nah, we were just fucking with you."

"I hate you SO fucking much. I'd kill you if I could." Seb deadpanned at her.

Their photoshoot went really well. There were some paparazzi trying to get close ("You get used to it," Carla whispered to Wanda when she asked how Carla could tolerate this) and they took photos with their children. The toddlers were smiling because their parents were smiling, and they were very proud of their formal clothes. Diego and Zully were both wearing suits (Diego's suit was black though) and bowties, and Zoe felt special being the ONLY one with a cute dress!

Only Dillon understood what was going on though and it was so amazing to be present at his parents' wedding, that wasn't something you got often!

He was seeing Phillip at the wedding too (Mom forced Dad to accept), and he couldn't wait! Best day ever! He held Diego and the twins when Seb and Wanda had a photo on their own. Dillon couldn't wait for everyone to see his uncle's clothes. He brought HONOR to the community!

The photos they were taking right now was on some stairs and it perfectly showed off his uncle's suit. It was a white shirt with a black tie. A dark vest with little golden buttons and a beautiful white jacket with black lapels. One surprising thing was that he was wearing a TIE! Not a bowtie! His hair had been nicely combed and Dillon could see why Seb had left it to grow, his sideburns were slightly longer and his hair looked amazing.

The prettiest stuff though, was his veil.

Yes. Sebastian freaking Pines made himself a cape veil with some weird triangular patterns. And it looked freaking amazing!

The veil fell nicely on the stairs and as Wanda held a bouquet of roses, the photo was taken.

Wanda snorted once the photo was done. "You look like a peacock." she told Seb. He preened, "Of course! But I'm way more fabulous than some bird!"

"A pretty peacock…" Wanda purred and kissed him. The photographer took that as a chance to

snap another photo. Sincerely, Wanda loved Seb's suit, he was so extra and she loved it. She was glad she was enjoying herself. Carla was so sexy with her tight, hip hugging dress accentuating all her curves, but Wanda was a simple woman. She liked her dress, it was comfortable and pretty without being too over the top.

Before they realized it, it was time to go to their wedding. The place they rented was waiting for them to party! Well, first they had to sign the marriage contract and THEN party. Seb seemed pretty excited to drink and dance. It worried Wanda a little bit. She'd have to watch him, good thing they remembered to hire a nanny to watch the twins and Diego in the party.

They were in a limo now and Zoe was trying to play with the windows. They distracted the children with snacks though, because they had to eat and weren't going to be able to wait any longer. Dillon even got a sandwich for himself! That nanny was awesome.

Meanwhile, the guests were arriving to the loud and special were security guards dutifully checking the list, making sure only guests could enter and paparazzi and unauthorized reporters stayed outside.

Mabel was buzzing with excitement, they had a table, but she couldn't remained seated! "Where ARE they?!" Waddles was hiding under the table, his leash tied up on a chair. Her immediate family (Wanda's and Carla's too) was with her, bearing her. From the Pines side, it was her mom, dad, Dipper (and Pacifica) Uncle Ford and her granny but she went to the bathroom.

"Oh, no what if something bad happened?!" Mabel frowned worried. Shermie rubbed her shoulder, feeling weird at how Carla's parents were staring at them. "Hey, sweetheart, look! More guests, why don't you go introduce yourself?"

"You're not distracting me with-OOhh! Friends!" Mabel stood up and walked towards her best friends, Candy and Grenda, pulling Pacifica with her. "Girls! I missed you!"

"We missed you too, Mabel!" Candy hugged her. "I love your dress!" She gasped and Mabel examined her friends and gasped. "Are you kidding?! You two look SO beautiful!" She exclaimed. "Hi, Marius~~ Looking handsome!"

Marius, still rocking the long hair (he looked even more handsome now that he was a young man and not a child), held her hand and bowed politely. "Guten Tag, Mabel. Hello, Pacifica." Marius nodded politely at the blonde and repeated the gesture.

"Hi, Marius, being a long time." Paz grinned. She used to play with him as little kids.

Grenda giggled, which sounded pretty loud. "There are a LOT of paparazzi outside!" Candy nodded excitedly. "They took photos of us!"

"Yeah, well, like, 3 famous people are getting married today and Uncle Ford is like a very rare hermit crab so they must be going crazy." Mabel pointed at Marius. "And this guy is here! Now they'll try to get in even more, lol~" Mabel checked her phones for updates of the outside world. Those guys were fast! They already released the news that Marius was at the party.

"Oh, my mother almost didn't let me come, she don't-doesn't really like me coming to the Americas like a commoner and drawing attention." Marius sighed at that. "-But they know Pacifica's family-" He nodded at the Northwest girl before looking at Mabel. "And they know your family from that...weird party in the former Northwest Manor." The Baron said and turned to Grenda. "The day we met~"

"AWWW!" Grenda hugged the slim young man until his face went red.

Mabel giggled. "Well, my uncles aren't here yet!"

The place was slowly filling in with the guests. So many different groups. Family of the brides, friends of the bride (those included Alex and Johnny), family of the grooms (they shared family so that reduced it a little bit, some uncles, cousins, just from their mom's side) but their friends' were the problem. Not only because there were a LOT, but because half of those guests were famous or recognized, so the event was becoming more and more famous as celebrities showed up. The actors and actresses that Carla worked with, professional athletes from Stan's team and some of Seb's rich clients… it was a pretty amazing VIP list.

This was exactly why poor little Phillip was standing in a corner, pissing his pants. He wanted Dillon to come already.

The entire team of the New Eagle Patriots was here and he needed an autograph.

He looked around, hoping to find somewhere to sit, but nope, everyone apparently knew each other. As he scanned the room, he spotted a man with curly brown hair, looking down at his phone. Phillip, third in his class, intelligent medical student, thought to himself. 'Dillon's dad is a triplet. That means three. Stan is not here, so that's not Stan, and the other triplet is also getting married so that goes two. There's scientist triplet...the third, because triplet means three. And this man looks a lot like Stan, same face, therefore...'

Those must be Dillon's family!

Phillip cautiously made his way over. "Um… hello?" He called out hesitantly.

Dipper (Mabel kidnapped his girlfriend and he was left alone) and the adults looked up at the red-haired teen. "Um, hi, man."

Shermie looked up with a smile and Ford looked confused. "Well, and who might you be~"

"Are-Are you...Mr.-Mr. Pines' brother?" Phillip asked shyly, his entire face going red. Shermie and Stanford shared a look. "Yeah."

"Um...I-My name is Phillip, I'm Dillon's-Dillon's…" Phillip wasn't sure if Dillon was out to his family yet and didn't want to out Dillon before he was ready.

"Boyfriend!" A high pitched scream was heard and Phillip squeaked when a girl hugged him. "You're Phillip! I'd TOTALLY recognize that red hair anywhere! Oh my god, you're even handsomer in person!"

"Um, whos that?" Paz asked as she sat back with Dipper. "Girls, family, say hi to our new family member, Phillip! Dillon's new boyfriend!"

"Oh…" Shermie nodded slowly. "Greetings." Ford said before looking down at his phone. Kari came back from the bathroom and Phillip felt a sudden rush of relief. Finally! Someone he knew!

"Hello, Phillip." She nodded at him politely and Phillip, trapped in Mabel's hug, said. "Good evening, Mrs. Pines." Phillip was released from the hug and looked down at the excited girl. "And~ I don't know you…"

"I'm Mabel, your future maid of honor." She shrugged easily. Phillip blushed.

"The couples are coming!" Someone shouted and Mabel gasped loudly. "OH MY GOD!" She pushed Phillip aside with surprising strength, and screamed. "THEY'RE HERE!" Phillip rubbed his arm. Looks like Dillon's extended family were quite… excited?

The limo parked just outside the place. There was a red carpet leading to the entrance. There were huge security guards standing all along the carpet to keep the photographers and paparazzi out. Not even the rope barriers were keeping them behind. There was a lot of chattering as the paparazzi tried to get an interview. "Stanley Pines! Look this way!" "HI! Can I get your statement about why you chose a double wedding?!" "Your suit looks amazing! Did you make it yourself? Is it available in your store?!"

Stan got Diego out of the car and picked him up as he waved at the cameras. Dillon blushed and tried to hide his face. This was embarrassing. The driver got out to help the two brides get out. Seb held onto the twins as they winced at the flashes of the camera.

"Stan! Stan! How're ya feeling!?" Someone asked from the crowd and Stan smiled. "So freaking happy!"

"What are you wearing?!" "I'm wearing a suit!"

"Carla! Carla! Can you give us a few words?! "I'm so glad I'm finally here, marrying my long time partner along with two of my best friends!" Carla replied easily.

Seb smiled smugly as a group of photographers snapped photos of his cape veil. Wanda seemed a little overwhelmed by this. She had been in front of the cameras a few times, when Seb had a few fashion shows or interviews, but she wasn't used to this.

"Sebastian, did you make that?" "Wanda, what are you wearing?!" "ASK ME ABOUT MY CLOTHES!" Seb told the paparazzi. "I made my own suit! And yes, this is my new design!"

After a few photos, the couples finally entered the place with their children, where the person who was marrying them was already waiting. The soft music playing inside was changed to a more 'wedding appropriate one and everyone lowered their voices and stood up to receive the couples. The actual hired photographers followed them inside, recording and taking photos of them, the guests, the decorations, everything. Butlers, chefs and barmen started rushing because they knew that after the formal event, dinner followed. And after dinner, the party, and party meant drinks and alcohol.

There was a nice canopy and the legal documents they had to sign where there as well. Seb sent the kids off to the table with Shermie and the rest of their immediate family was. The nanny followed as well. "Hang out with everyone for now, mommy and daddy need to go up to get the boring stuff over with first." Seb winked at the twins. They didn't really get it (especially because dad had one eye and they didnt know when he was blinking or winking), but their cousins were here so they ran over to hug Mabel (who was the bestest cousin because she always had candy somewhere on her).

Diego had to be careful with his chubby cheeks though, Mabel liked to squeeze him and hug him a lot!

Stan and Seb had decided to buck most of tradition and instead of having the procession with the groomsmen and bridesmaids or a rabbi, they just wanted to get the formal affair over with so they could PARTY. So they offered their arms to Carla and Wanda with charming bows. The women, with silly, excited smiles, shared a look and accepted the offered hands. The soft wedding music started playing as the couples slowly walked over to the judge. Seb's train was longer than either of the brides, the light material fluttering through the air behind him like a majestic tail.

They stood in front of the heavily decorated table with the floral arch, a chuppah, above them (Seb liked this part of the jewish tradition, because it looked cool), and the music stopped. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Today we happily stand in front of two couples who have decided to spend their lives together. Stanley Pines and Carla McCorckle and Sebastian Pines and Wanda Friedmann." The civil servant they hired smiled at them all.

"Mommy and daddy!" Zoe shouted from her seat and a few guests chuckled. The speech went on, it wasn't long and drawn out though, no one wanted to hear that guy, everyone wanted to get to the good part, the part where the couples got to make their speeches.

Stan proceeded to give a short speech about the day he and Carla met, how he'd bravely saved her from a purse snatcher. Carla giggled and responded with her joy that this day was finally here, and how she'd waited over ten years for him after he was kidnapped, and how she'd always believed he would return. "I never thought I'd be here, marrying this girl I met so long ago...but I'm so damn happy that we're together and...and that you never gave up on my dumb ass." The audience 'awww'ed at that when the two hugged.

Seb launched into an extremely sappy and long soliloquy about how Wanda was 'the shining light within the darkness of my depression and loneliness' that made Wanda flush and whine 'It wasn't that dramatic!' While Wanda talked about how Seb had opened her eyes to her abusive boyfriend who had only been using her, and how she'd never been so happy, or dated any man who was as sweet and attentive as Seb was. "I'm going to cry...my makeup is going to get ruined…" Seb covered his mouth. Wanda held his hand and gently kissed it, and the audience 'awww'ed' again, louder this time. (Mom)Linda, watching with tears streaming down her face as she hugged Elijah's arm, was sobbing about her baby Seb. (Therapist)Linda had come too and was so incredibly proud.

"Well, we've heard very touching speeches, from two couples who have been together, loving each other since they were very young, but it would be nice to hear what their children, product of that love, have to say."

Mabel snickered at that. Hah.

The nanny handed Dillon Diego and the twins as the front tables of the immediate family walked to the front. Everyone melted at how adorable the toddlers looked with their suits and dress. "Zoe, Zully, what do you think about mommy and daddy getting married?" Seb asked them and crouched next to them to hold the microphone to them. Zully shrugged "I dunno." they said before closing their eyes and sticking a thumb in their mouth to bite. It made people coo and laugh, and Zoe hummed. "It's nice. You look pwetty and happy, and that make me vewy happy too." She said and the crowd was shedding tears of adorableness. "And what about you, Diego? About your mommy and daddy getting married?" Diego looked up at his Uncle Seb before looking at his mom and dad, who were grinning tense and hoping he didn't say something inappropriate or embarrassing. This was going to be recorded.

"Um…I'm-I'm happy too, like Zoe...but I want dinneh." Diego admitted, with the sincerity only a toddler had. The place erupted with laughter and applause for the brave babies. Stan was given the microphone and then he puffed his cheeks at Dillon. "And you, baby? What do you think about mommy and daddy getting married?"

More laughter. People were having too much fun with this. Even the civil servant snorted softly as he tried to keep his composure. Dillon rolled his eyes but grabbed the microphone. He wasn't a guy who liked to be under the reflector, it made him really nervous to be stared at, that's why he didn't like acting, but this was something very important. "Well...Um, I...I think it's...pretty amazing that...you're here...first of all...I-I was starting to think I'd never see you and-and now I'm not-not only being here with you and mom, but seeing you get married after-after you were gone for so long, it's-it's actually very-very...nice and special for me and I'm very glad you didn't marry before because now I get to see it…"The teen was shaking a little, and his voice dropped with emotion. Carla stared at her baby with tears in her eyes and even Stanley seemed touched.

"Also, I love the fact that you're getting married along with my uncle because I really love him and-and he was always there for me and-he holds a very special place in my heart...It makes me very happy to see him so happy…" Dillon smiled tearfully and laughed shakily. "I love you, guys."

The place erupted with touched applause and Stan pulled his son closer for a hug and some comforting pats on the back. Seb carefully rubbed his eye. "Oh circles, can we finish this? I'm seriously getting too emotional right now and it disgusts me." Wanda giggled at him and sniffled. This was very emotional indeed. She hugged his arm as the ordainer continued his speech.

Finally, their rings were handed to them. They had been waiting in a red velvet pillow next to the civil servant. Stan grabbed his ring with one hand and Carla with the other. He gently put the ring on her delicate finger. Carla repeated the gesture with her own. Then, Seb imitated his older brother.

The papers were presented to them and they signed with their full names and shaky hands.

"I invite the witnesses over." The civil servant announced. A friend of Carla walked to the front and hugged Carla with a squee. Wanda's brother rubbed his partner's hand (another woman, seriously Junior?!) And walked over to hug his little step sister. He knew they weren't as close as Sebastian and his brothers, Wanda also knew it, but they loved each other despite not being related by blood, and he was very honoured to be her witness. Then, the triplets shared a look when their stupid witness was nowhere to be seen.

Mabel flicked Stanford's nose. "Uncle Ford!" she practically growled, nearly out for blood if this idiot ruined the best day ever. "Ow! Shit! Sorry." Ford scrambled to his feet and rushed off to the front, to the laughter of the assembled audience.

"We regret choosing you as a witness." Seb hissed as Ford smiled sheepishly and had the decency to apologize and congratulate his brothers with a hug. "I'm happy for you two." Seb hugged him back with a sniff. "Sign, you dumb owl."

Ford signed both papers with his neat handwriting and Carla's friend hummed in appreciation at the oldest triplet. Nice~ Maybe she could manage to talk and dance with him later.

Seb noticed how the woman smiled at Ford and shook his head in pity. Oh dear. That poor woman. Ford is not a normal human, you'll only scare him.

As the civil servant finished signing the papers himself, Wanda also looked at Ford and, unable to hold tears anymore she hugged him, her head reaching his neck instead of his chest like it normally did as she hung off him. Ford almost jumped out of his skin with that hug. His relation with the blonde woman had remained distantly formal all this time ever since...the incident. "Oh, you stupid man...I don't know if it's the emotions talking, but I actually feel like I don't hate you anymore…" She whispered. She also didn't want to start her married life feeling upset towards her husband's identical triplet brother. With how close Seb was towards his brothers, it would be like hating a part of him (the fact that they had the exact same face was also a factor).

"But if you hurt my babies again or even try to, I'm cutting your dick off and slapping you with it." Wanda threatened in a very quiet voice. Ford felt a shiver run down his spine, scared and knowing why Sebastian loved her. "Oh. Ok...I'm very glad you don't hate me anymore, though." He hugged her back. Wanda grinned. "Now and in the future, if you do anything to my children, I reserve the right to skin you alive, kay~?" Ford sweated and resolved to be on his best behavior around the kids. And begin researching a way to regrow skin quickly in case such a thing did happen.

Wanda was very scary.

The civil servant coughed to draw people's attention and everyone stood up straight. The witnesses stepped back and stood close to the couples. The twins and Diego were standing close too, but next to their nanny, and Dillon next to them, but wishing he could be getting a hug from his boyfriend. "Alright. Now by the power that the State has given me, I declare you, husband and wife. And husband and wife, to you as well." He smiled. This was a funny wedding.

A butler approached the couples with two glasses wrapped up in a napkin and placed it on the floor. Stan and Seb, grinning maniacally, both brought their right feet down at the same time to stomp over it. "MWAHAHAHA!" Seb just wanted to DESTROY! The glass crunched wonderfully under his high heeled shoes.

Stanley then pulled Carla in for a kiss and Wanda rolled her eyes before pulling Seb (who was busy destroying) down by his tie to kiss him. The place erupted in cheers and applauses. "Mazel Tov!" The guests shouted. Some people were crying. The little twins and Diego started clapping and cheering when everyone else started doing so and ran towards their parents to get kisses too. Laughing and with excited happy tears in his eye, Seb picked up his kids and hugged his three most important girls as Diego pulled at Carla's dress because both his parents were ignoring him in favor of kissing and he wanted to be picked up as well. A lot of photos were snapped of the happy couples.

Mabel wiped some tears away and turned to look at Dipper and Pacifica, who were clapping for the just married couples. "Please guys! Promise me we'll get married together as well! PLEASEEEEE!" She hugged her twin. Dipper turned bright red while Pacifica rolled her eyes. "Well, I get to decide the decorations." the blonde scoffed.

The two couples smiled at their guests and finally walked over to them to say hi and thank them for coming. Soos, who was sobbing on Melody's shoulder, finally managed to reach his friend and trapped him in a bear hug. "OH DUDE, I'M SO HAPPY!" "S-sOOs! Can't BREAthe!" Seb hit his arm to be released.

"Dude, you have-you have inspired me to do something...Can-Can I do it?" Soos fidgeted nervously. Seb raised an eyebrow, curious. "Yes? Why do you ask?"

Soos took a deep breath before, to everyone's surprise, especially Abuelita who was calmly sitting on her table, he kneeled in front of Melody and pulling out a ring from his pocket. "MELODY I WANNA MARRY YOU TOO!" He all but screamed.

Melody gasped, shocked, and replied with a loud "YES!" Two collective high pitched screams sounded around the ballroom, Mabel's and Seb's.

"OH MY AX!" Seb screamed as Mabel threw herself over Soos to hug his huggable self. "FINALLY! DIBS ON MAID OF HONOR!" The teenager shrieked.

"DIBS ON BEST MAN!" Seb screamed with excitement. He took off his cape (he had gotten enough photos with it and people were starting to step on it) and wrapped it around Soos' shoulder. "I pass you the torch, Question Mark." Soos seemed very touched by the gesture. The people from town around them and even some strangers cheered.

The music became much more animated after that. The nanny took the little twins and Diego with her to finally get the food they wanted and the couples were congratulated by their happy parents before going around saying hi to their guests and taking photos with them.

Stan watched as Seb excitedly hugged a white haired man, who seemed just as excited, and smiled warmly. He really hoped his father was seeing this (since the wedding was being broadcasted on a few channels, as far as Stan knew). He hoped their dad could see how happy Seb was, how the pain he put him through hadn't stopped him from finding happiness with the woman he loved. How it hadn't stopped him from being with his real family...

(Yeah, part of Stan was a little vindictive, wanting Filbrick to see how happy they all were without him in their lives.)

-.-

Phillip hugged his boyfriend tightly when he finally spotted him. "Baby!" He cried in utter relief. Dillon rushed towards him and clung to his neck with a smile before pecking each other's lips, They didn't care that people were watching. "My parents are married now. I'm so happy." Dillon said, sounding like an excited little kid.

"Yes, and they look thrilled too." Phillip kissed Dillon's forehead. "I'm glad you're happy though." Dillon pulled back and examined him. Phillip was wearing a black suit and a purple tie. "Ooh~ Nice~ So elegant~" The freckled teen purred, which made the red head blush a little. "Thanks...My mom freaked out when I told her I was invited to some celebrities' wedding so she said I had to go with a good suit." Phillip explained sheepishly. This suit was kinda expensive, but now he had a good suit that would last him for quite some time.

"You could've come in jeans and you'd still look nice." Dillon nuzzled into the taller boy's arm. "And have all these cameras record me and then being nationally humiliated when this appears in those rich people magazines?! No thank you." Phillip moaned dramatically. Dillon snorted. How dramatic. "Come, I'll present you to my fam." Phillip allowed Dillon to pull him but he shrugged. "I arrived before you did, I already kinda met them...Mabel wants to be our maid of honor."

"O-oh." That was embarrassing. Thanks, Mabel!

The 2 pairs of couples finally, after what seemed like hours of chatting and photos, reached their own family. After a photo with them (toddlers included), Seb, Wanda, Stan and Carla could finally sat down to eat SOMETHING.

Carla's and Wanda's parents very casually migrated to other tables and sat down with their family. It wasn't like they didn't want to be with their daughters, but... only those two could handle some much Pineness together. They loved Seb and Stan... separately. Having all the Pines together was...well...

They were too weak to handle them all.

Zoe, Zully and Diego were sitting on the table, wearing bibs so they didn't get dirty as they happily slurped their pasta. "Twy!" They went to grab some food from the buffet and Seb put on a bib as well; he didn't trust himself to not ruin his suit with food. Carla and Abi rolled their eyes but Wanda giggled in amusement.

The teens decided they didn't want to be at the boring adult table (or be with the toddlers) so they went to another one just for them. Dipper, Mabel, Pacifica, Dillon, Phillip, Candy, Grenda And Marius. "The coolest table." Mabel called it.

Seb didn't care, in fact, he said "Leave! We don't need you! We have the babies!" he held up Zully, making the toddler squeal, as emphasis. They started chatting and catching up, talking about funny things from work or their kids. At some point, it was Ford's turn. "So, how's the science Mystery Shack doing?" Seb gave Ford a shit eating grin and Ford gasped. "You! It's your fault everyone calls it that! You've been telling everyone to call the research center that name, haven't you-you demon?!"

"What can I say, brainiac? I love pestering you! Your suffering is hilarious~" Seb leaned closer and with the same grin growing, slowly licked his brother's cheek.

"AARGH! Why you-" Ford looked at Wanda who was smiling and he took a deep breath. "I wont do anything, because your wife scares me." He angrily wiped his cheek as the family wheezed with laughter.

"Oh~ I like the sound of that~ wife~" Seb snuggled closer to Wanda and Ford, along with everyone not just married, rolled their eyes.

"But seriously, nothing interesting happened in that nerd center?" Stan asked, resting his cheek on his fist. Ford shrugged. "Well, I fired one of my interns. And…" Ford rubbed his hands together and seemed a little nervous. "...he went missing for a month."

""WHAT?!"" Everyone around the table screamed. Ford groaned. "Okay, so… from what I managed to piece together, Mr. Lodge stormed off into the woods after he was thrown out of the Center. And… he proceeded to get lost." Ford got a headache just thinking about it. Mainly because part of him felt a little bad for it. He didn't even realize Tyler was missing until the summer ended and Tyler's parents called the Center to ask about why their son hadn't contacted them in a while.

"What an idiot hahaha~" Seb laughed mockingly. Shermie, being the good younger brother, agreed with him. "Yeah! That's just dumb."

Stan rolled his eyes. "So? How did you find him?" He stopped. "You...found him, right?"

"Was he eaten by the gnomes~?" Seb had gotten hold of a few martinis from the bar, so he was tipsy already. "Did you find his BONES?!" Fire flickered in his hands and Wanda rubbed his back. "It's ok, take it easy." She told her husband.

Ford quickly assured them, "We found him! Fiddleford and I searched the forest, and Fiddleford told me that we should work on tracking equipment, possibly making some sort of directional device that would actually work in Gravity Falls, seeing as all compasses stop working properly in that valley." Ford nodded to himself.

"Not fun." Seb laughed. "So he wasn't eaten by gnomes! So he ATE gnomes! He was in the forest for a month, no?" He growled and gulped down his drink before Wanda could stop him. Let him DRINK! He'd gone TOO LONG without one!

Ford glanced down at his unfinished plate of food. "Eh…" He wasn't sure how to really explain what had happened…

"Well, it was Miss Se , the other intern, who found him." Ford admitted. "When she heard that he was missing, she offered to join the search. And she had a communication device, a more advanced walkie talkie that Fiddleford built, to relay where she was or-"

"So she had a phone?" Stan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, it's not- auuugh…" Ford buried his face in his hands. "Cell service in Gravity Falls doesn't work very well. The signal cuts in and out all the time. Especially once you're in the woods! Fiddleford and I built a device that would be guaranteed to actually work no matter where you were." Ford explained.

Shermie groaned. "Ok and then? Where was this kid?"

"Right. So Miss Se found him. Apparently Mr. Lodge was found by this...um, primitive tribal group of blond haired men who helped him survive all this time?" He said. "We found him living with them, singing in harmony and eating berries or whatever forest animal they managed to take down."

Shermie was so confused. Kari was confused. The other women were confused. Seb burst out laughing. "Sev'erul Timezzz!" He turned around to look at the teens. "Hey Mabel! Remember when you and your friends kidnapped a boy band and tried hiding it from meeeh?" They couldn't. He was amazing and All POWERfUl!

"THEY'RE LIVING GREAT IN THE FOREST NOW! TOTALLY INTEGRATED BACK INTO THE WILD!" Grenda called. "Yeah, but sometimes they still steal trash!" Candy added. "We believe they want the thrill of escaping capture." Paz nodded. "It's nice hearing them sing in the morning. Better than those roosters at the farms."

"That's the only interesting thing that happened in the Mystery Sha-DAMMIT!" Ford exclaimed angrily. Now HE was calling it that! "Well we found Mr. Lodge and got him back to society. I do believe he is in therapy now." And Viola hadn't been sure if she should be sympathetic or amused as shit about it, which she confessed to Ford about before she left to return home. Tyler, with his almost blonde hair, was taken in by the former boy band as they thought he was one of them. Well, at least they did teach Tyler how to sing in harmony? So… that was something?

He should study them more. Their adaptation to living in the wild and behavioral evolution (devolution?) was intriguing.

Glasses of wine were now being passed around. Mabel tried to get some but the waiter offered her a glass of soda instead. "I have strict orders from Mr. Pines that no minor consume alcohol, I'm sorry." The rest of the teens snickered.

Ford grabbed one just to be polite and took a sip. Then he frowned a bit when he noticed something was inside, a little pointy glass thing was poking out of the wine. Out of curiosity, and for science, he gulped down the wine. He saw the pointy thing was a fin. There was a glass shark 'swimming' in the glass.

"What?" Ford frowned. Did he drink the entire wine for this?! Dammit!

"AREN'T THEY GREAT!?" Seb squealed. "THOSE WERE MY IDEA! He exclaimed before he gulped down his own glass. Wanda grabbed a napkin and gently wiped his mouth.

"Ok! Enough of this formal crap!" Seb snatched another drink from a tray. "I want to party! I was UNFAIRLY deNIED a mega ultra parteh as a demon!" He shouted, already tipsy. Stan snorted. Seb definitely was drunk by now. What a lighthead.

"Well 'unfairly' is a bit-" Ford started but Seb continued. "And this gotta be the SECOND BEST~" He stood up, pulled Wanda up and grinned. "Let's go, dance! You can't complain about your shoes becuz my heels ARE HIGHER and you're wearing ankle boots!" He giggled and pulled her to the dance floor.

Mabel, who had taken a poor photographer prisoner and forced him to take photos of her, her friends and Waddles in his suit, gasped. "OH MY GOSH THEY'RE DANCING!" She poked the man in the chest. "What are you doing here?! Are you waiting for an invitation, lazy ass?! Go do your job!" She pushed him away. The poor photographer was muttering to himself, "I'm getting paid a lot for this, I'm getting paid a lot for this…"

The dance floor was quickly filled up. At first, the twins danced with their parents. Zoe was jumping around at first, dancing and singing, and people recorded her because she was adorable. Zully was more sheepish, but with mommy showing them how to do the steps, it was easier. They danced very well, but they weren't following the music very well though.

The twins got bored eventually, and went to play somewhere else with their nanny. Now the adults could have real fun. The lights were dimmed a little, with the remaining lights being colorful and flashing like a dance club. The music was as loud as one. Seb lived to visit the bar and getting drink after drink. He really missed this!

It wasn't long until he was very drunk and was screaming as he danced around. Wanda was worried at first, but realized she should just enjoy this after realizing Seb was dancing in a very suggestive way, grinding and rubbing close to her.

Drunk Seb was amazing.

There was a small break where Carla and Wanda threw their bouquets to the single women. Mabel fought other ladies for one and lifted Waddles in the air to catch it. (She felt so proud of her little pig~) then the party continued. Then Mabel had to argue with the other women about the legitimacy of Waddles getting the bouquet. Since he was the one who caught it and not Mabel, it meant Mabel didn't get the bouquet, and also, Waddles was already married and therefore couldn't get the bouquet anyway.

Mabel felt the enthusiasm of her achievement die down as the party progressed and her group started dissolving. Dillon and Phillip were somewhere making out, her twin and Paz left to talk in a quieter place (or maybe make out too) and Grenda was laughing and dancing with Marius. She was left with Candy, who was playing on her phone.

"Hey, Can-Can~ how about we go find some boys we can dance with?" Mabel suggested with a smile. The two teenagers went off to search but it turned out there weren't many boys, and if there were, they were accompanied by a girl. Mabel groaned as she sat down and swiped another plate of food. "This sucks. What'll it take to find a nice single boy to dance with?" she complained.

"Um… I could dance?" a little voice spoke up and Mabel turned to see Zully blinking up at her. Mabel giggled. "I was looking for boys, but if you want to dance with me, we can do that too, a girls' dance, yes!" Mabel ruffled Zully's hair before taking their hand and having a good old time with her cousin. Mabel also stuffed her face with french fries, challenging the younger twins to an eating contest until they all passed out in the toddler room, cuddled together as they took a nap.

Candy had passed out as well from all the partying and Mabel sighed before snuggling closer to her friend. This wasn't as fun as she thought this would be. At least her family was having fun. Uncle Seb was a little demon in the dancefloor and-oohhhh~~ Uncle Ford~~

Susan, taking advantage of the six-fingered man drunk state (Seb dared him to do shots and Ford was competitive) had pulled him aside to dance with him. "Heeyy~ She grinned up at the confused man. "How're you? You don't visit the diner anymore!"

"...Who're yu?" Ford slurred, blinking at the blurry woman in front of him. He checked his glasses. Nope! Still there! The world was just getting blurrier.

"I'm Susan! We know each other!" Susan didn't let this bother her, the man was clearly having trouble seeing straight.

"We do?" Ford giggled. "Then hii~" He waved and looked at his hand. "Wooaahh! I have seven fingerss nooww!"

Drunk Ford was less self conscious. He was dancing with Susan, as she squealed at the attention. At some point, the two leaned closer, and Susan saw her victory secured when her lips brushed his, but her dance partner was abruptly pulled away from her. No!

"Woahh! Easy cowboy!" Stan laughed as Ford giggled and leaned against him. "I was dAncing!"

"Yeah, I can see that, but stay close huh?! I know you wanna get laid! But at least be conscious when that happens, am I right?! Stan barked with laughter. It took him, and Shermie surprisingly, a lot to get drunk, so they promised to watch their brothers in case they did something stupid that they'd regret later.

Ford blinked, a bit of sanity coming through. "Laid…" he shook his head. "No… that… what?" Ford wasn't quite sure what was going on anymore. The room was spinning, the lights were flashing and the pounding music made it hard to focus. Stan rolled his eyes. "Look. There are women there. Women who just wanna dance, probably, and don't have a fixation on you. So go there and be a good boy."

"Don' wanna!" Ford whined. Stan held him by the arm, cursing Seb for daring this poor soul to do shots (though it was pretty amusing to watch him like this) and slowly took him to a table. "Ok, stay there and don't move until...you feel better." He told Ford gently. "OK~" Ford hummed as he slumped over onto the table, head in his arms. (Susan cursed her luck in the background.)

Before everyone noticed, it was morning already. Many people have left in the middle of the night, but the closer family and closest friends decided to stay. The teens, who had no option but to stay as their parents were here, all crashed in the twins and Diego's room, either on the floor or a couch. It was Mabel and Candy's idea. Phillip even stayed because his parents said there was no way they were getting close to that wedding, too embarrassed for it. They all settled in to sleep the night away.

Seb opened his eye the next morning and whimpered. "AAhhhhhhh!"

Last night was CHAOTIC...He loved every second of it…

His head pounded and he whimpered again but the sweet groans of everyone else coming back to life comforted him in his pain. Wanda was groaning on his chest, the two sleeping on a couch. Seb rubbed his eye. He sniffed the air. Oh right~ Breakfast was going to be served. His head pounded again. Where were his kids? He totally ditched them yesterday. Seb snuggled back. No. He was tired. And cold. Wanda was wearing his jacket.

And Seb got the feeling he was forgetting something important, he couldn't think of it right now though, between his pounding headache and half asleep state...

Wanda groaned as she woke up. "Uugh…" She was a little annoyed. She just got married last night and then her husband passed out from drinking and she didn't get to have her wonderful wedding night like she'd been looking forward to. Well, it was fine. They could just have their wedding night fun in the morning instead... She could feel Seb stirring and leaned up to kiss his chin. "Morning light weight~" She teased. Seb groaned. "Too loud…"

"Awww~ is my widdle Sebby hurting from a hangover~?" Wanda giggled as she got up, groaning at her back, sleeping on this couch was a bad idea. What had she been thinking? They had a perfectly good bed several rooms over! Seb whimpered. He forgot the other reason why he didn't drink much. Owie...

"You're too loud…" He groaned.

"DAAADDYY! MOMMY! YOU SLEPT WITH YOUR CLOTHES ON!" The twins, whose nanny dressed them in Pjs last night, ran towards them screaming. "AAAAAHH!" Seb whined and held his head. Too loud! Brats were too loud!

"We'we hungwy." Zully yawned. Wanda, who was in a better state than Seb, took them to get food from the buffet. Seb looked up and rolled off the couch before he crawled over to Ford, who was still sleeping on the table. When he was closer though, he heard him whimpering.

Nice. Suffer with me, brother!

"I hate you…" Ford rubbed his head and Seb massaged his temples. "Don't worry, I'm hating myself too right now."

The people who stayed the night flooded back to get food. The teens looked tired as fuck, disheveled and the girls were barefeet. Stan met with his brothers and grinned at them, looking much better than them. "Hello~" Stan said cheerfully.

"Why aren't you looking like shit?" Seb complained.

"Because I wasn't a drunk ass last night and didn't decide to fall asleep on a couch or the table like an idiot...Would have woken you up but~ you looked soo comfortable there~" Stan, like a dick, grinned.

Seb and Ford flipped him off with double fingers.

Stan chuckled and patted Seb's back before whispering. "I'm sorry you missed your wedding night, pal. Wanda must not be very happy about it."

Seb gasped horrified, eye widening. OH. NO. Wanda wasn't going to have pity on him for this...

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:) Seb knows his future is not very pretty now xD Please comment, we love to know what you think! :3