Slices of Life and Family

by bluefrostyy

PART 3 of The life of Sebastian Pines! (Read that first, I doubt you'll understand what's going on) The story follows Seb's life after Gravity Falls. Bill was defeated, but the Pines family still have thousands of adventures together. Old characters will come back, new characters will make an appearance, all to accompany Seb through his journey as a human (Cowritten with Mizuuma)

17. Chp17Honeymoon& first glance atpaternity

Hello Hope you enjoy this chapter of my gay sons :3 It has another part which will hopefully be updated sooner ,we're taking a bit too long to update but we'll solve it dw xD

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Dillon rubbed his eye as he leaned against his boyfriend's chest. Phillip was fuming but still delicately stroked Dillon's curls. "I'm sorry for ruining our date…" He apologized.

Everything had been so amazing before shit happened. But that wasn't going to ruin things for them, Dillon won't let it. They were going to have their one year anniversary together in a couple weeks and Dillon was sure Phillip was THE one. He didn't blame him at all for what happened earlier.

Phillip had come to pick Dillon up early and they hung around in his house a few hours (his mom gave them cookies and juice to snack on, god bless her) before going to the mall to go bowling. Phillip stopped Dillon from paying. "No, no. Leave this to me~" He was inviting Dillon on this date after all. Dillon rolled his eyes, "Fine, but I'm paying the next time we go out~" He teased.

They played for an hour and competed hard. Dillon turned out to be very good at it. "I wouldn't be surprised if you had a bowling court in your house!" Phillip complained with mock offense and Dillon laughed out loud. "What? Hahahaha! You're such an idiot!" He boldly gave Phillip a peck on the cheek, feeling confident after getting three strikes in a row and utterly demolishing Phillip's score. Phillip had grinned and kissed him back, and if the two got a little too distracted to finish their game, well….

Then, after their hour was done, they got back their shoes and sat down to order something to eat. The tables were in a different part of the establishment, but the bowling lines were still pretty close. Phillip couldn't help himself. Dillon looked so pretty with his hair slightly disheveled, his face flushed from playing and the big smile he gave him as he chewed on his nuggets.

So he leaned in to plant a kiss on his lips. They'd only been kissing each other's cheeks in public before, with the excuse that they were preparing for when they went to France, Dillon would even speak in French to divert people's suspicion about it.

Now, they were not very affectionate in public. Barely holding hands. It wasn't that they were ashamed of who they were or who they were dating. They were proud of their boyfriend...But sometimes it was scary. Thinking their country still had so many people who would hate on them for being gay, who'd like to see them dead just for something that simply… Dillon had always being afraid of how others would react to him. He wouldn't be so nervous if they only thought about it, but people acted out, they DID stuff... Even back when they were kissing while bowling, it was because each of the rented lanes had division tarps that could be lowered or pulled up to seperate groups if they wanted privacy. He was always cautious, careful to not draw attention to himself.

Phillip was less scared, but he was still cautious. And he knew that Dillon was scared. But he couldn't hold himself back. He just had to kiss him for reals, to show him just how MUCH he loved him… and despite his worries, Dillon kissed him back, the earlier teasing they did making him feel more relaxed.

And then it happened. A man with some children a few lines away from where they were seated stood up and complained to one worker. He was being so loud about it, about how this 'family friendly place MUST stop them from their disgusting display', that the teens turned to look at him.

"Do you have a problem, mate?!" Phillip snapped, squeezing Dillon's hand to assure him everything was ok. The man sneered (while his kids looked away embarrassed and one even tried to stop him) and pointed at them again. "I want them out! They shouldn't be showing off that disgusting behavior in front of kids!" "Dad~" "Stop~!" "Leave them alone~!" The kids begged, looking very uncomfortable.

"What's your problem?! This is a public place and we're not moving!" Phillip growled, standing up and facing the asshole. "If you have a problem with me and my boyfriend tell it to my face, homophobic pig!"

The worker, who was helplessly standing there and not knowing what to do, was trying to placate their anger. "Sirs, please, if we can just-"

The man stepped forward until he was behind the short wall separating the two areas. "You're disgusting, you know that, faggot?! You shouldn't be doing this perverted thing in public where MY kids can see you!" The man made a disgusted face.

"Which kids?! The ones who are embarrassed about their dad harassing two teens?!"

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave…" The worker finally sighed. The man looked livid. "ME?! I am not leaving anywhere! I paid to be here! You can't let those fags stay here!"

"Screw you!" Phillip shouted and took a photo of the horrible man. He looked ready to throw fists (they were almost the same height) but Dillon's face made him stop. He was flinching in on himself, terrified, with bright tears glistening in his eyes. "You know what?" Phillip looked at the worker. "We're leaving. Fuck this place anyway. It's a shitty place if they let their customers get harrassed and insulted!" He grabbed Dillon's arm to make him stand up (they weren't paying for shit) and when they were at the door, he flipped the man off before slamming it shut behind him.

Phillip sighed as he snuggled Dillon. Maybe he shouldn't have been so aggressive? They were in a nearby park now, sitting under a tree. "I'm sorry…" He apologized again. Dillon sniffled and shook his head. "We didn't do anything wrong…" He whispered. "It's not fair…" Phillip gently kissed his forehead. No one was around, so it was safe.

"I know. It sucks."

"I was scared…" The younger teen confessed and Phillip bit his lip. "I'm sorry, I'll be more careful next time." Dillon pursed his lips. "No. I don't wanna...How are we supposed to demand respect if I act like a scared baby for showing my affection to you?"

"It's not our fault… But, well, sometimes it's safer this way, even if it sucks. Who knows what crazy lunatic we might encounter?" Phillip said as he snuggled Dillon.

"Maybe we should go out with a bodyguard… It'd be fun to see him punch them in the face." Phillip said jokingly before continuing. "I'd love to have a bodyguard! It'd feel so important! Like a celebrity!" Phillip fantasized and Dillon giggled, nudging his boyfriend with a shoulder. "You are important, you idiot!" He was feeling much better now, Phillip made everything better.

Dillon called Aaron to give them a ride and they went home after leaving Phillip at his place. "Do you know if my parents are home now?" Dillon asked quietly.

"Not that I'm aware of, master Dillon. Do you want me to call to ask?" The driver asked politely, but Dillon shrugged. "Nah, I'll just check when we get home…" He looked at the window. "Aaron."

"Yes?"

"Do you like me?" "...I don't understand your question, master Dillon." The teen sighed. "I mean...do you think I'm likeable? Even if I'm gay? Do you think Im disgusting for being gay?"

"I think you're a great young man and it doesn't really matter who you like. The only disgusting person is the one who thinks that" Aaron said firmly, without taking his eyes from the road. "Why?"

Dillon rubbed his arm awkwardly. "Some asshole bothered me and Phillip today…" Dillon said, still a bit down. "Oh…" Aaron frowned angrily. How disgusting! "I'm sorry to hear that, master Dillon."

"You know? Just Dillon, we have known each other for a while now." Dillon smiled sadly. "And...yeah, it sucks, but we did have fun before it happened though…"

He leaned back. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't people just mind their own business?!

They arrived to their house and Dillon smiled at his driver. "Thanks, man, see ya around!" He got out of the car and went towards the elevator. Aaron waved, wishing the kid came happy after going out with his boyfriend. It wasn't fair…

-.-

Dillon waited until his parents were home and chilling to tell them what happened. Waiting was hard. He was so upset and angry for what happened. Phillip had sent him a few messages with kind words to cheer him up. He was a sweetie...He wished he had someone else to talk to though, but he wasn't supposed to talk about these 'emotional' things with his male friends (especially about his boyfriend and being gay) and Mabel was in Gravity Falls doing some uncle bonding and he didn't want to ruin it for her.

Dillon went on one of his social media accounts to check his messages and froze. The boy's eyes welled up with tears as he curled up on the bed and stared at his phone. "Do u wanna suck my cock fag? My dick would fit just right in-" Dillon immediately blocked him and angrily threw his phone away. His tears were already streaming down. This was too much for him.

He was going to take the flag out of his description...and maybe delete his photos with Phillip...He was sure he'd understand…

He felt so dumb for crying, he was a man! He was almost 18! But he was gay and disgusting! He was horrible and perverted, he deserved it! He deserved it for not being a real man! He should be straight and he wasn't! This was his own fault... The already upset teen broke down even more and he was full on sobbing now, the pillow muffling his cries. Self deprecating thoughts were not helpful to stop crying. (A small part of him knew that these awful thoughts weren't true. Not at all! But he couldn't help himself!)

He took a deep breath to continue crying when his door was suddenly pushed opened and Diego toddled into the room. "Dillon! You didn' say hi to me when you awived!" The freckled toddler exclaimed, hurt that his big brother ignored him.

Dillon rubbed his eyes and turned his back on him. "Go away, I'm not in the mood to deal with you!" Diego didnt go away; instead, he walked over to his brother and climbed onto the bed "You ok?"

"Do I look ok to you?!" Dillon spat at his younger brother, eyes red and puffy, and the toddler stared at him with wide light brown eyes. "No...You look sad…" the baby pouted.

"Oh my, another genius in the family~ Go annoy someone else!" Dillon pushed him away and Diego squeaked as he fell off the bed. He landed on his back and now Diego's little eyes welled up with tears. He sniffled, noticed his brothers phone on the floor and showed it to him. "It-It fell...I didn' bweak it…" He said just in case his big bro got angry at him. He didn't break things on purpose, like Dillon's grown up tegos, it was an accident…

Dillon ignored him, still facing away from him and Diego tried rubbing his back. "Dillon...You huwt me…" He pouted with a sniffle.

Dillon finally gave in and with his fat tears falling down his cheeks, and a sad smile, he picked up and hugged his baby brother. "I'm sorry…I'm just being an asshole…" He rubbed his little back. "There…Mu-Much better?"

Diego nodded and rubbed his brothers back in return as he hugged him this time. "Mommy says hugs help when you feel sad...I'll hug you, then mommy and daddy can hug you."

"…Thanks, baby…" Dillon rubbed his eyes and managed a small chuckle with Diego's sighed heavily at his silly older brother. "I'm not baby! I'm twee! I'm a big boy!"

-.-

He had calmed down by the time his parents came home and he asked to talk to them privately later. He was NOT some scared baby! And he DIDN'T go running to his parents for every bad thing that happened to him (he wasn't Diego! He wasn't a baby who tripped and was sobbing over dad for hours...)...but this was different. He was scared this time, and he had felt terrible enough to actually have a meltdown. It wasn't something he could fix on his own. He trusted his mom and dad to help.

They were busy planning their trip. They were finally going on their honeymoon (it was a couple's trip, he knew Uncle Seb and Aunt Wanda were going as well) in a month or so and they wanted to leave their works ready before it.

"Ma, Dad, um...can we talk now?" Dillon hovered outside their room, watching them pack and organize.

"Oh, sweetie, yes, tell us." Carla looked up from her papers and nudged Stan to listen to their baby. Stan took off his reading glasses and looked up at him. "Diego told me he saw you crying earlier, are you ok?" Carla asked, worried for her firstborn. Dillon hadn't cried in front of Diego before and the poor toddler was very insistent on her and Stan hugging Dillon to make him happy again.

'That snitch…' Dillon grumbled in his mind.

Stan slowly pieced things together. "So you went out with that—" Stan paused and took a deep breath, "-with Phillip today...Was everything ok?! Did he do anything you didn't agree to? Do I need to get my brass knuckles~?" Finally a good reason to punch a teenager in the face!

Carla glared at him as Dillon chuckled softly. Aaww, look at that old man trying his best. "No, but seriously, Dillon. Everything ok with Phillip?" Carla asked.

Dillon nodded, shifting from foot to foot. "No, no...Our date was...it was really nice...We played video games and then we went bowling...And, well, then...then…" Something in his expression must have betrayed him because both his parents sat up worriedly. "Son?"

Dillon sniffled. Ah shit, here it went again. "Can I get a hug…?"

"Oh, baby...come here…" Carla moved a little and Dillon climbed between the two of them, like he did for almost half a year straight after Stan first came back. He had slept between them. (He was 13 though, much smaller than he was now). Carla didn't care that Dillon was her height and she still cradled him to her chest like a baby as Stan watched worriedly. "What happened?"

"Well...Um, I-I should have known it could have happened...but-but we weren't doing anything wrong...It-It was just a kiss…" Dillon hid his face on his mom's chest. "And, and some random guy screamed at us...he-he said we were disgusting and...perverted…" He sobbed.

""What?!""

Stan growled. "He SHOUTED at you?!" No one shouted at his kids except HIM! How dared that guy?!

"I-I was so scared...I-I thought he-he was going to hurt us…"

Stan and Carla couldn't believe what they were hearing. Someone had the balls to insult their kid?! "Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" Carla cried, horrified to have only learned this now. "Baby, you should have told us!"

"It-It wouldn't have changed anything…" Dillon sniffled. "Phillip faced him though, he was very brave and he stood up in front of me."

Carla shook her head, worried sick for what he was telling them. Stan beat her in speaking what both were thinking, but in a less nice way. "It doesn't matter if he stood up or not!" He shouted. "That weakling twig wouldn't have been able to give a punch! Or take one for that matter if that stupid bastard had hurt you both!" Thinking some disgusting person could have hurt his son while he was helpless to do anything made him want to throw up.

"Wha-He's not a weakling…" Dillon defended his boyfriend but without much energy. "I-I was scared…Phillip was brave, he-he didn't let that man insult us, but-but I stayed silent like a coward..."

Carla sighed as she stroked his curls. "No, baby, provoking an insane person is not the best choice, you-you don't know what he could have done or…" She trailed off. She didn't want to imagine that anymore. She began to hum softly to calm her shaking baby and stroked his hair. "I'm sorry…" He whispered, feeling like an absolute loser for being to scared to stand up for himself. "No, it's ok, it's ok…" Carla assured him.

Stanley was so mad now. He wanted to kill that person! He wanted to hurt him for hurting his precious first born. He would shove hot metals up his ass and then use Ford's magnet gun to pull it back through his mouth!

(Huh… he picked up more from watching Demon Baby Fights than he thought he did…)

Dillon had fallen asleep, feeling warm and safe next to his parents. Carla looked up at Stan with teary eyes. "What are we going to do?" She whispered. Stan rubbed his wet eyes and gently stroked Dillon's head.

"I don't know…" Stan grumbled before thinking more deeply into it. Well. First he wanted to track down the guy who threatened his son. Even if the hot iron thing was 'illegal', Stan was a businessman, he knew all sorts of perfectly legal but no less damaging things he could do to that man...

-.-

During breakfast, two days later, while little Diego was jumping up and down next to Kari in the kitchen, chanting "Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!", Stan and Carla sat down in front of Dillon to continue the conversation. "Me and your mom have decided to hire a bodyguard for you." Stan said with a serious face. Carla didn't correct his grammar. Dillon's jaw dropped. "A babysitter?!"

"Do you need hearing aids as well as contact lenses?" Stan huffed.

"No. Not a babysitter. A bodyguard. Baby," Carla caressed Dillon's cheeks. "If you feel scared and unsafe, we want to know that you'll be protected."

"But…" Dillon shifted in his seat. "I don't want some guy following me around everywhere! That's…" Weird. Annoying. It made him feel like a baby.

"Well that's great! 'Cause she's a woman!" Stan grinned. Dillon blinked. "Wha?"

Carla pulled out a profile sheet and handed it to Dillon. "The cover story will be that she's your personal maid. But she's quite skilled and experienced with protecting young clients. She specializes in children of VIP in fact."

"That's us! Were the VIP!" Stan grinned and used a thumb to point at Carla and himself.

Dillon looked down and had to do a double take. "She's… really pretty." He noted. She looked around mom's age. But with very toned muscles. Geez. Dillon stared. The profile said she was a soldier. And… she looked like she could snap a man in half. "How's she supposed to pretend to be a maid?!"

"You'd be surprised." Stan said seriously. "How intense a maid can be." He thought back to William and shuddered. That dress did nothing to slow the demon down when he chased Stan through the Death Star.

Stan shuddered but smiled a bit. He wondered how he was doing...

Diego sat down on the table, carrying his plate and looked at his mommy. "Wha you talking 'bout?!"

"That you and your big brother are getting a bodyguard to protect you from mean people!" Carla passed him his sippy cup with warm milk and poked his nose.

Dillon frowned. "Woah, woah. What? Diego too? So not only do I have to go around with a maid! But I have to SHARE it with Diego?! He doesn't even go places! He's not even gay!...As far as I know!"

"That's yucky! I don' wanna kiss anyone! And I go to the pawk! And to school!" Diego opened his mouth to show him his half chewed food. "Eeww!" Dillon grimaced and looked at his dad, who shrugged.

"I'm not made of money!" Stan complained as he flung his arms out (and a few $20 bills slid out of his sleeves before Stan hastily stuffed them back in), earning an eye roll from Kari. "Share with your little brother!"

Dillon groaned. His social life was going to be destroyed! His privacy, GONE! This was the worst thing that's ever happened to him!

-.-

"This is the best thing that's ever happened to me!" Dillon cackled as he watched his new 'maid' pin a boy to the wall, looking like it took her no effort whatsoever. Dillon had been at the mall, minding his own business when one of the boys from his school, a jerk who always shoved Dillon when he walked by him, who'd found out about Dillon's dating status and preferences from his social media, thought it would be funny to try and bother Dillon about it. They weren't in school anymore after all, so the jerk probably thought he'd be able to get away with messing with Dillon.

What that kid hadn't expected was the 5'10" woman coming out of seemingly nowhere to spin him around and pin against the wall. And why was she in a French maid uniform?!

"Sir, is this boy a threat?" Dillon's maid (Sasha) asked calmly, not even straining to keep the teenager immobilized despite his struggles.

Dillon grinned maniacally, a habit acquired from growing up dealing with his uncle Seb, and smirked at the struggling teen. "You know she can kill you by snapping your neck right?"

"Tell her to let me go, freak!"

"Maybe you are a threat and I should tell her to get rid of you~" Dillon was having too much fun with this. Sasha huffed a little at him and rolled her eyes. "I would prefer not having to." She pointed out. Especially since this boy writhing pathetically in her hold was only a teenager. Dillon sighed. "Yeah, fine~Don't snap his neck. Even if he's a pain in mine."

The boy pinned to the wall groaned. "Puns? Really?!"

"I take after my dad." Dillon shrugged before turning serious. "Ok. Sasha's gonna let you go now and I want you to leave me alone. Got it?"

"Fuck you!" The teen hissed. "You'll always be a weirdo! Even if your dad came back from his 'kidnapping'. Bet he just left to get away from your sissy ass!" He hasn't realized the seriousness of the situation yet.

Ok. That hurt. Kids have told him that growing up. And he didn't like people humiliating him for his sexual orientation. He would have just walked away, but he had the power now! Sasha was here!

Dillon sighed painfully and glanced up at Sasha. "So, snapping necks is a no-no, but what about fingers?"

The teen paled when Sasha's fingers wrapped around his left pinky. "Fingers are fine. You don't need all of them to live…"

"Noo! PLEASE! Let me go!" The teen screamed. Dillon tried not to enjoy it as much as he did, but seriously, that had been a low blow. "Then promise you'll leave me alone."

"Okay! I promise!" The boy wailed. Finally, Dillon gave Sasha the okay to release him and the teen stumbled off, rubbing his sore hands.

Dillon sighed. "He's not gonna try to sue me for hurting him, right?" He asked. Sasha shook her head. "He's not even bruised. He's got nothing he can use against you in court. I also snapped a photo of him, so he can't injure himself and lie about it being caused by me." She told him.

"Oh. That's… Good." Dillon was very glad Sasha was on his side. She was scary.

-.-

Dillon realized having a maid/bodyguard wasn't that bad after all. Sasha was very good at hiding her presence, even in the maid uniform (and when asked about it, she admitted that she watched a lot of anime about battle maids and thought it was fun, which… oooookay… Weird but… Whatever made her happy). The next time he went out to hang out with Phillip, he seriously couldn't have felt safer.

He presented the ginger boy to her and Phillip looked so thrilled that his dream of having a bodyguard came true. He wasn't even bothered about her dressing like a maid, in fact, he liked the dress!

Haha, that's gay~

Of course, when they went out, they had to take Diego FOR SOME REASON (Granny Kari said she was busy and had to meet someone) and he was stuck watching Diego in the mall's ball pit and eating a shitty ice cream with Phillip instead of going to the fancy ice cream shop he had been wanting to try for a while.

"Sorry Diego had to come too, he ruins everything.. Dillon sighed.

"I don' ruin everything!" Diego whined and threw a red plastic ball at him. Dillon grabbed it and threw it back at him, knocking him right in the forehead. Diego started wailing ("I barely touched him!") And Sasha sighed before going to check on the toddler.

"I...I'm an only child, but I'm pretty sure you shouldn't throw a ball at your 3 year old brother." Phillip took his hand and pouted. Dillon rolled his eyes. "He started it...and he's a pest~ I'm too old to be an older brother, you know? Too much of an age gap, even more than my dad with my other uncle, the green eyed one."

Phillip nodded in understanding. "Besides, my family has twins everywhere! Who told my parents to procreate only one kid at a time?! If Diego had a twin, he would have someone else to annoy!" The red headed boy snorted at Dillon's complaint. "Well~ I don't mind. I think your brother's adorable. I always wanted siblings myself, but mom and dad didn't." He shrugged.

"You can take him~" Dillon suggested and Phillip grinned. "I prefer taking you instead~" The older teen said suggestively, which made Dillon blush a little too much.

"O-Oh." He squeaked.

-.-

Sasha really wasn't that bad. Granny liked her and was entertained listening to Sasha's stories from when she was in the military. Mainly, Sasha planned out what route Dillon would take from and to the house to any other location, scoped out the area to make sure there were no threats and things like that. Aaron liked her too, and treated her with respect because he was a little scared of her. Dillon didn't actually notice her half the time, she seemed to be able to just… blend in and pop back out when needed.

Unless she was taking care of Diego, then she would play the part of a maid/nanny. Diego liked Sasha a lot. She always did what he asked and played with him! Not like Dillon who was a meanie most of the time! The toddler was innocently unaware of what Sasha's purpose was.

Stan was happy to know that the bodyguard thing was working out. His babies were protected and safe and he and Carla didn't have to worry about dicks bothering either Dillon or his youngest little critter.

"Dillon told me Sasha protected Diego today." Carla told Stanley one night. "He said it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. Apparently she flipped a guy to the ground."

"Hahah!" Stan grinned. "Good! What was the motive?"

Carla sighed. "They went to the park together, Dillon also went because your mom forced him to, and Diego was playing with his toys until some apparently bored teenager started kicking them. Dillon said he saw his group daring him to."

Stan growled. Diego was just a baby! He'd being an annoying teen once, but he had never messed with little kids! Carla nodded. "I know, asshole. So, he told me he was about to go shout at them, but when Diego let out the first sob, Sasha grabbed that teenager by the arm and I quote 'yeeted' the boy away."

Stan cackled. "I would actually pay to see that." Which was a LOT coming from the stingy miser.

"I'm glad we made this decision." The woman sighed and hugged his muscled body. "I feel more relaxed now. We'll be leaving for weeks so...I just know the boys will be safe while we're away."

Stan picked her up and kissed her lips. "I know…I feel the same." He stroked her cheeks and Carla nuzzled his big hand. "I'm so glad I had the idea to hire her." Stan boasted.

Carla's smile was wiped off her freckled face from her annoyance and wiggled to be put down. "Why did I marry you?!-EEE!" She was thrown to the bed as Stan roared. "Because I'm awesome!" Carla threw a pillow at him, but unfortunately she missed.

"You know, that reminds me of a joke!" Stan grinned. "Noooo! Shut up!" Carla groaned.

"My ex-wife still misses me~ but her aim is getting better!" Stan looked so proud of himself. Carla threw another pillow and smacked him in the face. "I will be an ex-wife if you keep that up." Carla pouted.

"Please~ You know you can't live without me~" Stan said smug. Carla rolled her eyes before grabbing Stan's shirt and pulling him down to the bed. "Well then, you better show me the reason I keep you around…" she said slyly, tracing her fingers down his chest.

Stan was thrilled to do so. He just had to lock the door first. Didn't want the kids coming in.

-.-

Seb and Wanda hated their neighbor with a passion. They've been living there for a few months, but they were very close to doing something illegal. Well, Seb was, the poor guy spent the day growling and controlling his flammable hands. However, they weren't ones to run away from their problems. (Seb, maybe if it meant less work, but Wanda didn't get to where she was now by being a coward!) So they were going to deal with the situation like adults.

For now though, the easiest thing to do was run away~!

They weren't technically running away, they were leaving for their honeymoon with Stan and Carla, so it was technically planned already. Carol's annoying voice had nothing to do with the fact that Wanda asked if they could have their trip earlier (she found a much better offer) and the two agreed immediately.

Nothing at all!

The twins asked if they could come too. It was summer after all and after Seb guffawed and wheezed until he couldn't breathe, he knelt in front of them, put a hand on their shoulders and with a soft voice said "Never in a million years."

He thought of calling Ford to watch over the twins (and Diego, if necessary), but he remembered he was spending the summer with Mabel and he didn't want to interrupt that. Ax knew how needed it was for those two to hang out.

Seb also thought of calling Shermie. Seb took care of his twins for an entire summer (and literally died for them) and it would be a nice way of repaying the favor, Shermie watching HIS twins this time. However, he remembered Shermie was an idiot and he actually didn't trust him with his valuable, beautiful and treasured spawn. (How Dipper and Mabel turned out so well under Shermie's care, Seb didn't know.)

So he was actually clueless of what to do. Wanda offered to call her parents and ask if they could watch Zully and Zoe, and that sounded like a good plan, until Stan said Dillon and their mom were staying home and they could watch their kids. "I've hired a bodyguard for the boys, she's been watching them for a couple months. If you pay me-OWWWW! Alright! I can pay her a little more to watch the twins as well~!"

Seb considered it. The twins would love to play with Diego and hang out with him, besides, Stan's house was cool and they'd have more fun there than at his in-laws' house. And if there was someone there to protect them, even better!

Wanda agreed with him and so it was decided. They locked every possible entrance to their house (Seb had, had a nightmare about Carol crawling in through a window and building a nest in their living room, waiting for them to return… putting those essential oil room sprays into all their outlets… The poor man woke up screaming) and Wanda watched Sebastian carve with his pocket knife some triangles around the house, in and out, fences and even the sidewalk. "Wouldn't it be better to buy some cameras?" Wanda raised an eyebrow.

"And waste money? Please, I can watch my own house~ Just let me phone Ford and I'll add a protection rune as well!"

Wanda sighed. She kept quiet about the fact that Carol was human and therefore, wouldn't be kept out by any supernatural creature barrier.

(At least… Wanda was pretty sure Carol was human… there's no way anything but a human could be that frustrating to interact with!)

-.-

"Oh my gosh~" Carla smiled proudly as Wanda stared in awe at the penthouse. It was the first thing that came out of her mouth when they arrived. "You like it?! I chose the decorations! Stan didn't do anything!"

"If I remember correctly, I paid for it!" Stan grumbled as he handled the two blond demons squealing over him, pulling at his hair and trying to poke his eyes. Carla grabbed Wanda's hand to show her around.

"Seb, help!" Stan held the twins out at arm's length, but that didn't stop them from kicking him.

Seb ignored him, hugging his youngest nephew.

Stan fell to the floor and screamed in a fetal position as Zoe and Zully nibbled on his arms.

Dillon grinned at his dad's despair as granny Kari rolled her eyes. "Zully, Zoe, don't eat your uncle~ I don't want to lose my son~"

Zoe sighed painfully and released her victim. "Fine~" Diego was put on his feet and he ran towards his cousins, excited to see them again. "Do you wanna pway? I have lots of tegos!" ""Ok!""

The toddlers ran away and Dillon helped his dad stand up. He shook his head with a smile. How lucky, they were leaving tomorrow morning to Cancún. They had their luggage ready and everything.

He sighed. He wanted to travel to a nice place with Phillip too~

"It's nice that you two are finally going to your honeymoon, but leaving granny Kari and Sasha to watch those three on their own?" Poor them.

Seb laughed shrilly before patting his head. "Oh, they're not alone, you will be here to help!"

Dillon blinked. "Excuse me?"

"You're excused!" Seb exclaimed. "You'll be watching your brother and my babies! And if you don't, I'm going to murder you!" He smiled innocently.

Dillon pouted hard. "But it's summer! I wanted to hang out with Phillip!" He complained. Stan grinned. "Even better! Sasha can watch you one-two-watch you four that way! Spend time with your little brother! Family is way more important!" He pulled Seb for a fake hug. Dillon's glare didn't leave.

"No! Dad, I had plans! I won't be your nanny!" Stan ignored him as he pulled Seb to the kitchen, as a way to end the discussion. "Icecreammm~"

"Hang out with Phillip while watching the kids then." Seb shrugged. Stan stopped to look at his brother. "What?!"

"Deal!" Dillon shook his uncle's free hand, which caught on fire out of habit, and ran away before they could change it.

Seb looked at a shocked Stan. "Can I get my icecream now?"

"You don't deserve it…" Stan grumbled under his breath.

-.-

They didn't accompany them to the airport because no one wanted to deal with the kids crying their eyes out in public. Diego waved at them, because he was used to staying with his grandma like any other day and Zoe and Zully were actually happy to stay, they barely spent time with granny and Diego!

"Be good, ok? No fire and no biting others!" Seb had warned the twins. "I'll be watching you~!"

Sasha had assured them that they'd be just fine and she'd take care of their precious children. Kari also said she'd watch them.

Dillon grinned widely. His parents were officially gone! Sasha was in the living room reading a book and granny Kari was napping. He pulled out his phone and happily texted his boyfriend. "Hey, babee~ My parents left already, and you can stay here until they come baaackkkk!" Phillip arrived in record time and didn't even have time to put down his backpack with clothes on the floor before Dillon caught him for a kiss. Dillon ran his hand over Phillip's chest, feeling him up, as Phillip cupped his face and tilted it up to kiss him better.

They migrated to Dillon's room and threw the door shut. Dillon was 18 now, they could do whatever they wanted~ though… they hadn't officially done it yet, the two were still too shy to go that far. Still, that didn't mean they couldn't do ALL sorts of other naughty things~

The toddlers got bored of playing with tegos, they wanted to do something. "I'm gonna ask Di'on to pway wi' us!" Diego declared. The twins cheered and the group of toddlers went to Dillon's room. Diego was about to knock when he heard a loud sound coming from inside.

"Oooh~ yes~ here you go~" They heard Phillip's teasing tone.

The bed squeaked. "Phillip~" More squeaking. "It's… sooo biiiiig~" Dillon's voice sounded in awe. Phillip laughed. "Well, open wiiiiide and I'll give it to you~" "Ahhhhh~" There was a muffled moan from Dillon for a few seconds before he smacked his lips and the bed squeaked again. "I love it~ yeeeeeessss~" A thumping sound. "I love you!" a loud moan. "It's so goooood~"

Diego and the twins tilted their heads in confusion before Diego kicked open the door, like he always did whenever he barged into his big brother's room. They all stepped inside and froze.

Dillon sat up in a hurry and screamed. "DIEGO! GET OUT!" Phillip looked over from where he had been sitting with Dillon's head in his lap. In his hand was a giant chocolate chip cookie that he'd been breaking off pieces of to feed Dillon. Diego squealed. "COOKIES!" which set off the twins as well. ""COOKIES! COOKIES!"" Zully stopped their chant to add "Pwease?" like a good child.

Dillon groaned. "Nooo… now we'll have to share…"

Phillip chuckled and kissed him before motioning the kids to come closer. "I don't mind, I brought more anyway…" he handed some pieces to the kids, the pieces were the size of regular cookies! "Hello, I'm Phillip, Dillon's awesome boyfriend. We met in your parents' wedding, but you probably don't remember, what were your names?"

Zoe nibbled on her cookie and savoured it before swallowing. Then she walked over to Phillip, uncomfortably close and sniffed him. Phillip looked down at her as Dillon whined about Uncle Seb's craziness being a genetic thing. Then she smiled widely and hugged him with all her might. "I like you! I'm Zoe Pines! And my sisteh is Zully Pines!" Zully made a weird face at that. "We're four!" She showed him 4 little fingers. "We're more old than Diego, he's 3! He's a baby!"

"M' not a baby!" Diego complained.

"No, none of you are~ You're all big kids~" Phillip poked their noses and the twins squealed, enchanted. Dillon was impressed. If he impressed the twins, it meant he was VERY good with kids…

"Wha's a boyfrwend?" Zoe asked innocently.

Diego huffed. "It's a boy that kiss you in the mouth!" ""EWW!"" Both Diego and Zoe said at the same time.

Phillip laughed. "No, the kissing is just for fun. A boyfriend or girlfriend is like… what your parents were before they got married to each other." He explained. Zully nodded in understanding. "So you an' Dillon are gonna get married?"

Dillon and Phillip flushed. "Ah… well, we don't know yet. Marriage is a very important decision. So we have to be sure we really want to get married first. That's why we're dating right now, being a boyfriend or girlfriend… or joyfriend if you're not a boy or girl, is what people do when they hang out together and maybe they'll decide to get married. But they don't have to."

"""Ooooooh.""" The toddlers were all enraptured. "So… so you are twying to see if, if you two wanna be mawied?" Diego asked. Like mommy and daddy? When they had that big party with all those people.

"Yup~" Phillip hugged a pouting Dillon to himself. "Phillip will stay with us for the summer, so...just...don't be annoying ok?" Dillon grumbled.

"Pway with us!?" Zoe pleaded, pulling at the older boy's hand. "Alright, alright~" Phillip agreed and he was pulled out and into Diego's room. Dillon sighed and followed them. That was what he got for getting a boyfriend who was weak for children!

At least he could see Phillip every day…

(And… a part of him did think this was the best chance to see how well he and Phillip would actually do if they lived together, if they ever considered marriage in the future…)

-.-

As soon as they stepped out of the airport, Seb knew this had been a terrible idea.

The fucking AIR was HOT! He felt the oxygen he was breathing burn it's way down into his lungs.

The four of them groaned loudly and started taking off their clothes until they were in tank tops. "HOLY COW! I didn't expect this place to feel like this!" Stan moaned as Seb frantically searched for water. Water! He needed dihydrogen monoxide or he would catch on fire!

The guy picking them up to drive to their resort rolled his eyes. "Ay, estos gringos…"

"Oye! No creas que no sé lo que dices, dude! Estoy muriéndome, pero no estoy sordo!" Seb grumbled. The guy laughed heartily. "Well in that case, welcome to Cancún. Don't worry. The resort has air conditioning." He continued to chuckle at them. "It will be more comfortable there."

"Thank you." Wanda was grateful for that. She hadn't expected the place to be this hot, on the equator or not. Still, the resort sounded wonderful right about now. They all piled into the car and the driver thankfully put on the air conditioner. They all thought things would be better once they got to the resort….

But no, it wasn't. As beautiful as the place was, the floor of their rooms were wet with condensation from the air conditioner running while the window was accidentally left often. They groaned collectively. The person who accompanied them to their rooms immediately offered to clean up and recommended for them to leave all windows closed to avoid this happening again.

They all changed clothes and put on swimsuits because they couldn't stand having clothes on them any longer. Today was a relaxation day. They'd have time to explore, visit archaeological places, go have fun and go to parties later! They didn't have kids to worry about after all!

They decided to go to the pool. It was huge and it had a bar on it! So cool! Two thirds of the triplets laughed and jumped into the water, hoping it was cool and nice…

"OH MY GOD!" Seb wailed as he tried to get out a second later. The water was HOT TOO! IT FELT LIKE TAKING A SHOWER, FOR FUCKS SAKE!

Carla and Wanda sighed and left the two whining babies in favor of finding some chairs in shadow to relax in. "You know, I think I prefer having my honeymoon with you." Carla nudged the blonde who smiled mischievously. "Oh yes~" the two held hands and grinned at each other. Stan was sputtering in the background and Seb was still screaming at the pool for betraying him. Then Stan pushed Seb into the pool, because he was a dick.

At night things calmed down. The weather went from HELL to normal hot day and they could enjoy the pool with some delicious drinks. Wanda made sure Seb wasn't tricked by how sweet they were. He was her sweet little lightweight who must be protected~ They had dinner at the buffet in a fancy restaurant and the food was really good.

Seb had fun annoying the poor servers by pretending he didn't speak Spanish. They tried English but he still shook his head and acted like a very confused tourist. Then he'd shift to speaking in freaking German and it was hilarious how they called the only server who kind of spoke German to try to communicate with him.

Aaawww~ Look at them trying to do their jobs right~~~

Wanda was lightly kicking Seb under the table with an annoyed look. Leave the poor workers alone! They were trying their best! Seb wasn't stopping though. He had found out how he was going to have his small (and necessary) doses of chaos and evil in this trip~

Despite everything, it was a nice shared night for the two couples.

"For our kids that we left at home!" Carla toasted and everyone clicked their glasses!

-.-

Oh no! The toddlers were starting to realize their parents weren't coming back! Granny Kari was still in her own apartment, getting some clothes to stay with them, and Sasha was calmly watching a series as Dillon and Phillip tried to explain things to the kids. She was hired to protect them, she was not a nanny.

"Whewe's Daddy?" Zully pulled at their shirt with a pout. Phillip crouched. "Well...They are doing grown up things~ Those are boring you know? They'll come back soon, but meanwhile we can have fun! The 5 of us!"

"I miss Daddy." Zully insisted. "I know, princess, but we're here to protect you~" He ruffled Zullys hair and the kid frowned. "No princess!" They exclaimed.

"Oh, sorry, you're not a princess." Phillip apologized. Zoe giggled and ran towards him to get a hug. "I'm a princess! You can call me princess!" Then Zoe paused and corrected herself, "No. You call me QUEEN!"

Dillon chuckled. "Does she have a baby crush on you? Hey, Zoe, that's my boyfriend~" Zoe clung to Phillip with a big smile. "She's like this with Dipper too..." Dillon warned. "...so if she likes you…" "OW!" "Yup, shell bite you." Dillon laughed as Phillip winced and tried to pry the little girl off him. "No Zoe, don't bite me. I don't taste good!" He was surprised at how sharp her teeth were. What the heck? Was he bleeding? "I need to disinfect this." Phillip winced as he finally got a look at the marks on his arm. "Zoe, you really can't go around biting people. It's very rude." Phillip admonished her.

Zoe rubbed his arm as an apology. Phillip forgave her. So adorable! Kari was nowhere to be seen yet, Sasha went to sleep, and Diego was pulling at his brother's pants for his warm milk to go to sleep. Dillon groaned and sent Phillip to change their clothes while he prepared the 3 sippy cups.

"But-But they're girls, baby." Phillip twitched. "And?!" Dillon raised an eyebrow. "Well, they're girls and they're just four, I don't think it should be me taking their clothes off, you know? Besides, we just met, I just feel it's not proper..." Phillip didn't have the twin's parents here to ask permission from, and he would much rather have Dillon or Dillon's grandma help the twin's change clothes.

Dillon sighed. As always, he was right. Damn it. Such an intelligent pretty face! "Ok, you win. I'm putting on their pjs, you make their milk then." He grabbed Zully and Diego (not Zoe, she scared him) and pulled them to their rooms to get some soft Pjs~~

"Philli?" Zoe asked as she walked behind him. "He'll be back, don't worry...But he's gay and out of your reach!" Dillon told her firmly. "He's my boyfriend. So only I get to bite him!"

Phillip snorted loudly when he heard that loud exclamation. This wasn't that hard? They'd played and watched movies with the kids, had some time to themselves when the kids fell asleep and then Kari made them dinner. Now it was just preparing some milk and then they'd sleep! Haha! Easy! Taking care of children was easy!

And then it didn't seem all that easy…

Dillon groaned in relief when his grandma came back. "Finally! What took you soo loongg?" He moaned. Kari rolled her eyes. "Dillon, sweetheart, I have a life."

They had taken Diego and the twins to Diego's room. They put in a big bed for the twins there. They had never slept alone so they thought making them sleep alone in a guest room wasn't a good idea. They drank their warm milk from their sippy cups and everything seemed fine until Diego asked for his mommy.

The twins apparently understood more than Diego why their parents weren't here, but seeing little Diego burst into tears and sob made them upset (they were feeling his negative emotions) and filled their eyes with tears too.

Kari cuddled her youngest grandbaby and gently rocked him as he sobbed for his parents. Phillip nudged Dillon towards the twins. They were his favorite uncle/unofficial godfather's kiddos, he had to do something so they didn't feel bad. Even if he was terrible with dealing with this. Dillon wasn't sure what to do but he knelt down and pulled the two into a hug. They clung to him and sniffled. Phillip wasn't sure what to do, feeling awkward. He liked kids but he didn't know the twins very well yet and he didn't want to do anything without asking for permission first.

"Its ok, guys...I know you miss your parents...but we'll have fun while we wait for our mom and dad~ How about we go to the pool tomorrow, huh?" He grinned and ruffled their hair when they looked up with big eyes. "Really? Pool?" Zoe sniffled.

"Yup. But we gotta sleep first though." The twins rubbed their eyes and nodded. Ok. They wanted pool. Diego was now sucking his thumb as he leaned against Kari's chest, more calmed and with heavy eyelids. Dillon jumped to the next bed to ruffle his brother's curly dark hair. "Calm down, buddy, you're staying with the coolest people! And among them all is your awesome big brother~"

Diego managed a small smile and hugged Dillon's arm. Now that he felt better, he could go to sleep. He had his big brother with him and he'd protect him. Diego admired his big brother and he felt safe with Dillon...

Phillip watched with a soft smile as the twins yawned and snuggled against their granny, who tucked them into bed and kissed their foreheads. He glanced at Dillon too and saw him tuck his brother into bed as well.

He sighed dreamily. Dillon looked so pretty taking care of kids…

...man, Phillip really wanted kids once he was all grown up… He flushed at the thought. His fantasies involved raising kids together with Dillon… and that was just...

The toddlers fell asleep, they said goodnight to Kari and then the teenagers went to Dillon's room. This time, Dillon didn't change in the bathroom, he changed next to Phillip, but he still blushed a little. The two climbed into bed together and hugged each other under the blankets.

"Good night~" Phillip kissed his neck softly, as he was hugging Dillon from behind. Dillon snuggled closer and sighed. "Thanks for staying with me…My dad would kill us if he knew we're sharing bed…But he doesn't have to know…"

He fell asleep in Phillip's warm embrace, imagining a married life with him.

-.-

"""POOL! POOL! POOL!""" The children chanted as they changed into their swimsuits. Kari was helping the twins while Dillon helped his brother. The cleaning staff had already drained, scrubbed and refilled the pool. The pool room smelled clean, without any odor of chlorine to be had. Phillip fanboyed over the room. "The window-walls let you sun bathe without getting cancer!" Since the windows were blocking most of the harmful radiation, they didn't need to wear sunscreen. Well, they could, but it was safe to go without since they were indoors. And Dillon was counting on that fact.

The staff even put out lawn chairs for people to lie in to bask. Dillon put a wiggling Diego down and the toddler squealed as he immediately ran to jump into the pool. Dillon was glad he got the water wings on first. Would have sucked if he had had to jump in after him. Urgh. Babies.

"Phillip! You coming too?!" Zoe grabbed his hand as he sat down on a chair. "Play with us!" She demanded. Dillon rolled his eyes. "What's up with Zoe getting baby crushes with every boy she sees?" He grumbled. And it had to be his boyfriend! But he wasn't jealous of a 4 year old. Not at all.

"Hey, Zoe~ Look at this shiny ball! It bounces on water~ Go fetch!" Dillon threw the ball into the pool and Zoe gasped in awe before running after it. Phillip looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"What? She could have bitten you~ I was just protecting you~" Dillon pecked his lips. Then he remembered his grandma was still in the room and softly separated from the ginger boy.

Kari rolled her eyes. "As long as no hands go inside clothing, you're fine." She deadpanned. The teens flushed. Zully was pulling at their bathing suit, a cute sky blue one piece with fish on it, and carefully sticking their toes into the pool. "Hm…" They frowned at the pool suspiciously. The water was cool. A bit too cold for them right now. But the areas where the sun shone on the water was warmer so they toddled over to it and tested the water with their toe again. Much better!

...but Zully still wasn't ready to go in yet. They sat down on the border and slowly lowered a foot. They needed to go in slowly, carefully and-

"Come on!" Zoe laughed as she ran up behind her twin and shoved them into the pool. Zully screamed and sputtered. Betrayal! Utter betrayal!

Zoe cannonballed into the pool beside Zully and surfaced with a manic grin. Zully continued making a (ಠ ∩ಠ) face at their twin, thoroughly annoyed. "Granny Kari! Zoe pushed me!" Zully complained as they angrily floated in the pool thanks to their water wings.

Kari, laying down on a chair to watch them and pulling out a book to spend her time, just said "Zoe~ Please behave, you might hurt your sister." Ah, they reminded her a lot of Seb and Ford when they were kids too…(Though Ford didn't speak at that age, her adorable baby).

Diego just made his way towards his older cousins. "Let's pway! The fiwst one who reach the other side win!" The toddlers then got distracted with their game, anger forgotten.

Dillon smirked satisfied and sat in between Phillip's legs as he hugged him from behind. Phillip leaned a little on his shoulders and pecked his neck. "Do you want me to rub some sunscreen on you~"

"But there's no need, the place is-OOOHHH~" Dillon understood. He had a goofy grin on his face. "Well!" Dillon giggled, "I sure do need some protection from harmful UV rays!" He wiggled in Philip's lap as his boyfriend laughed and reached for the bottle. He squeezed out some of it and rubbed it between his hands before placing them on Dillon's shoulders, kneading him gently. Dillon muffled a laugh. "Are you going to rub it in?"

"A~ll~ the way~" Phillip purred, making gentle circles down Dillon's back, brushing his thumbs against the curve of Dillon's muscles and trailing the cream down his spine. Dillon shivered a little. Ooh~ Phillip was caressing him~ It felt so nice and Phillip's large hands touching his freckled back was just the best feeling ever.

Kari sighed. Oh, boys~ "Hey! Hands are getting too close to clothes!" The teens separated with a sigh. Darnit! Well, they could wait for tonight, when they could be alone in Dillon's room together. He was 18 now! His parents didn't get to say what he could or couldn't do!

Speaking of his parents, Dillon wondered what they were doing. Probably having fun on their honeymoon.

—

"Ahahahahaha!" Seb cackled as he dropped chips from the balcony to hit the tourists walking in and out of the hotel below. Wanda sighed. "Seb! Quit it. Are you really that bored?"

Seb rolled his eye. "Well that guy is wearing socks with his sandals! And it's not even the type of socks that are SUPPOSED to go with sandals! It's a crime! A fashion crime! No one wants to see you, buddy!" He shouted in English at him. He waved a fist at him, but fortunately his wife just glared at them and pulled the man forward.

"There are socks that go with sandals?" Wanda paused at that, confused. Seb nodded. "Yeah. Japanese geta are usually worn with socks." He remembered Matsuda have some, though he didn't wear them often, only taking them out for special occasions when he dressed up in traditional clothing.

Wanda blinked and shook her head. This was getting off topic. "You should still leave them alone. What if they get mad and try confronting us?" That man looked really mad.

"Let 'em. I can take them on. I can take them ALL on!" Seb grumbled, he even punch his fist for emphasis. He grabbed another bag of chips and started throwing them again. Wanda sighed and grabbed the bag from him. "Hey! I paid for those!" Seb whined. Wanda put one of her hands on her hips. "And you're wasting food. Imagine people who don't have anything to eat and you're here just wasting it!" She scolded.

Seb blinked. That...That hurt. He remembered when he had gone hungry when he was homeless… "Ok, I'll stop…" He looked at the ground. Wanda smiled pleased but her green eyes widened when she saw Seb grab a few rocks from the decorations on the balcony. "These ones are free!"

"NO!" Wanda grabbed his wrist as hard as she could to pull him away. Seb growled as he was pulled away from the balcony.

"Sebastian, what the fuck has gotten into you?!" She hissed, upset and worried. Seb looked down at his feet and shrugged childishly.

He was just...itchy all over. He wanted to do things and he couldn't! He guessed he was just bored...He hadn't brought his tablet or his sketchbook. "I guess Im bored…" At least with the twins he could play with dolls or play with trains all around the house.

Wanda sighed and dragged a hand across her face. "Well…The tour in the city is this evening, you gotta be patient." She stroked his cheek gently. "We could go to the water activities but you don't wanna go to the beach."

"It's scary." He didn't feel comfortable water skiing or snorkel or anything that implied going into the open sea without protection. He just tolerated the pool, BUT IT WAS TOO HOT!

"And you don't want to go play with Stanley."

"He's playing sports and sweating! I don't wanna sweat more than I'm already doing!" He pointed at his sweaty brow. He needed water, now that he remembered.

"And you don't wanna go to our room either." Wanda said and Seb groaned. "Because I didn't pay to go sleep on a different bed! I wanna do something! But-But not something BORING! AND-AND HUMAN DUMB! Maybe I should just go throw some rocks at non-human creatures…" Being free of the twins was...actually very liberating. He felt he didn't have to be responsible for his little spawn all day, just-keep himself from not dying! And that was easier! Do more FUN STUFF!

He could do whatever he wanted now! No responsibilities! This was a vacation where he could throw away all his stress! He could mess with people! Make a little chaos! The domestic life he was living was great… but he… needed this. (And it wasn't like he was just imagining Carol's face on all the people he messed with! Not at all!) But seriously, Seb craved it. Destroying something. Violence! Well, not a lot of violence. Just a little. Just… something destructive and chaotic! Like… like filling that stupid WARM swimming pool with pasta! It was hot enough to cook! And then they'd swim in NOODLE POOL! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

He started laughing out of the blue, which worried Wanda a little. Maybe the heat was affecting him a little? "Ok...no throwing rocks at anyone, ok? We-Let's go to the receptionist and ask about other activities to do, yes? With air conditioning and no more sun for you..." She held his hands in hers and smiled, whispering to herself the last part. Seb huffed. "Fine~" He was still going to find out how to get noodles~ They must sell pasta somewhere…

Wanda got him down without any trouble, but finding an activity he liked was harder. He didn't want to get a spa treatment, for ONCE. "Eh, I can go to the salon any time. Besides, it's too hot for the sauna! I'd die!" He complained. Wanda sighed. "Well there's some… light sports, they won't work you up enough to sweat?"

"Ew, sports. No." Seb grumbled, just being petulant at this point. Wanda sighed. She knew a certain activity that was sure to distract Seb for a while… but she thought she'd be nice and not ride him until he fainted for once. And where did that get her? A bored Seb who didn't know what he wanted to do. She was very much rethinking her original plan of what she wanted to do for the whole honeymoon (that being, having as much Seb-time as she wanted without her children getting in the way.)

He kept saying no to every activity she read from the book they were given, and it was starting to get a little annoying. Damn, she really SHOULD have her honeymoon with Carla and leave Stan to deal with his childish brother!

"...Petting zoo…" "If I can't eat them, then no!"

"Ok, that's it." The blonde gave him the book and sighed. "Don't you see I'm trying to make this something nice for both of us? I'm trying to please you and you're still acting like a bitch, William!"

Seb gaped and in a small voice he whispered. "You...you called me William…" "Yes I did!" Wanda huffed. "Continue sulking if you wish…" Wanda glared. "I'm going to go and have fun on my OWN then!"

"Please, please don't leave me, I'm sorry." Seb walked after her, earning pitiful looks from the people behind the counter who had been watching the whole time.

Wanda sighed. "Look, I just don't know what to do. You don't like anything, you keep complaining, and I just… I just wanted us to spend time together. That's what this was supposed to be about." She had a lot of vacation days saved up from work, and she was using them ALL for this honeymoon! She wanted this to be fun. Just the two of them, well, occasionally Stan and Carla, but mostly the two of them…

Seb rubbed his arm. Fuck, he seriously couldn't stop messing things up. "I'm sorry...I...I just...don't feel so good…" Wanda touched his forehead. "Are you sick?!" Seb whined. "I don't know. I feel… uncomfortable. Itchy. Restless… I don't know. It's like… I just feel frustrated and I don't know why! But I just wanna… I don't know. I don't know what I want." He pouted sad.

Wanda sighed. "Well I can't help you if I don't know what the problem is." And so the two sulked.

Suddenly, Stan aappeared out of nowhere and startled them. "Seb! There's a paintball war! Help me kick some butts! Carla even agreed to join if you're interested, eh?" He told Wanda.

"Paintball?" Wanda blinked. That wasn't on the brochure… when she asked Stan for clarification, Stan cackled. "Okay, so some other guests at the hotel really wanted to have paintball, and they organized a meet up just for that. They rented out a place a few miles away, the bus will be leaving soon. So… if you two wanna come~" Stan grinned at the both of them.

Seb straightened up. "Paintball…" he murmured. "Um… so… would we be allowed to just… go crazy and shoot people?"

"Yup!" Stan laughed maniacally.

"And...that means I get a weapon and I can attack anybody and leave potential bruises depending on how hard I hit them?"

"Yup~"

Wanda wouldn't lie saying the look Seb made didn't scare her a little. "Oh, let's fucking do it!" He shrieked.

The war was intense from the start. Just wearing the protection equipment put Seb in a killer mood. He fucking hated green! He'd take this frustration out on every fuckin body HERE! He didn't even care when he got hit as long as he could shoot them as hard as he could. Carla and Wanda immediately regretted it, screaming the entire time when the enemies got too close, but Stan, who had apparently CAPTURED someone from the opposite team (was that LEGAL?!) got his gun and now he had two of them, dodging paint bullets like a pro. Compared to fighting aliens? This was EASY!

Seb had reached the fortress of the other team and laughed maniacally when he shot them as many times as he could. "THIS IS MINE NOW, MADAFACKARS!" He cackled as he shot everywhere, splattering everyone and everything in paint. (And if he was using his powers to cheat to make it so all his opponent's shots would just 'barely' miss him… well…)

His own assigned team had a premature celebration before the crazy guy came for them too. "TRAISON! I'LL BETRAY YOU ALL!" Seb screamed around the field as he ran across like a madman. Wanda and Carla hid behind a wall and prayed for this goddamn game to finish! (At least Seb was taking out his energy?)

The guys behind the protective net, who were supposedly supervising everyone followed the rules, counted their very new green dollars one of the gringos gave them to make the event last longer and 'more enjoyable'. Ah~ tourists! The best source of income! They didn't even complain when that crazy man in the eyepatch ran past them, splattering them entirely with paint as he went. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

One of the organizers blinked. "How did he hit us through the net?!" That shouldn't have been possible…

"Nevermind that, he's still paying to 'buy' more paint canisters. So…" His partner shrugged. "It's worth it."

Ah~ Tourists~Especially tourists with dollars!

-.-

Dillon pulled at his hair as Diego's wailing didn't stop. "DUDE STOP IT! I'M NOT GIVING IT TO YOU!"

The little bastard wanted his video game but- one, he didn't know how to use it! And two! It had blood and violence, Diego wasn't allowed to see that!

The twins were luckily playing somewhere else and not here in the living room making their eardrums explode.

…

"Phillip, baby, go see where the hell the twins are…" He was worried now. Phillip nodded and Dillon put a hand over his baby brother's mouth. "Sshhh! SSSSHHHHHH!"

He was going to be a terrible parent, oh god, Phillip wouldn't want to adopt kids with him...

"DIEGO, listen to me. Let's-Let's get something to drink first right? You want water?" He read somewhere on Rumblr you had to give brats water so they'd shut up. And it worked! Diego sniffled and drank his water from his sippy cup. "Wann' play with you…"

"But you can't play that with me!" Dillon tried reasoning. "It's for big kids only!"

"I'm a big boy!" Diego whined.

"But it's for even bigger kids, like Phillip and I...we can play something else, but let me spend time with my boyfriend first!" He pleaded. It was so unfair he was stuck babysitting…

"No! Play now!" Diego kicked his little legs.

"Um...Dillon, baby...the twins were playing in your room...and you might not like it…." Phillip's sheepish voice was heard and Dillon mentally prepared for it, even though he knew he'd cry at whatever they did...

-.-

Dillon couldn't even form words. He turned to the twins, looking so very innocent as they both tried to pretend they weren't at fault. Dillon's mouth moved but no sound came out, he just… couldn't even. He had to stop and take some time to breath. After he managed to calm down, Dillon found his voice again and asked, "How did you manage to eat my bed?"

"We dinnit eat it!" Zoe protested. "It's still there!" She pointed. Dillon rubbed his temples. Phillip knew this was serious, but his boyfriend's expression made him grin a little. "There are holes and bite marks all over the mattress. There is stuffing spilling out everywhere from my pillows and feathers from the mattress." He deadpanned.

"It wasn't us!" Zoe insisted. Zully was looking more guilty, wiggling back and forth.

"You've got feathers coming out of your mouth!" Dillon continued to deadpan. Zoe sputtered and wiped at her mouth, failing to hide the evidence. "That means nothing!"

Phillip sighed and knelt down to their level to look the twins in the eyes. "Are you two hungry? Is that why you ate Dillon's bed?"

Zully winced. "...'m a little hungry…"

Phillip ruffled their hair. "Well, how about we bake some cookies? I'm sure those would taste much better than Dillon's bed."

Zoe raised her arms to be picked up, acting all sweet and innocent even after she totally destroyed Dillon's bed. Phillip obliged though, because she was adorable. "Hey, want me to carry you too?" The teen addressed Zully. The small child shook their head, "I'm not a baby." they grumbled before they followed him to the kitchen because they wanted cookies as well.

Dillon massaged his temples. Oh god, for god's sake!

Well… baking cookies was fine. It was actually kind of fun. He could put the kids to 'help' counting the chocolate chips. That'd distract him from the fact that his mattress GOT EATEN HOLY SHIT!

He wrote to his older twin cousins to just...tell them that the twins ate his fucking bed. Dipper didn't reply but Mabel answered almost immediately. "AAAWWW! THEY'RE HUNGRYYY~~"

"I can't believe this!" Dillon wrote back. "I mean, have u ever heard of kids eatin BED?!"

Dipper finally replied. "Well the Z's are uncle Seb's kids, they're are crazy as he is. And ive seen kids eat glue tbh"

"Adorable you mean!" Mabel typed back. "I'm gonna bother uncle ford, see ya!"

Dillon went to meet his poor boyfriend who was calmly listening to Zoe babble and plan their day. "Fiwst we make cookies and we eat them and then you play dolls with us and then, then we watch Puppy cops in-in the tableh and then we paint! And then Tasha bathe me and-"

"Wow, that's a lot of things, don't you think, Zoe?" Dillon walked over to them to hug Phillip from behind. Their granny was out so it was just them and Sasha somewhere chilling. She made it very clear she wasn't going to babysit and Stan had replied with a "Oh, don't worry! Dillon and Philli-boy will do that!"

At least they didn't have to cook or clean, some maids came to do that. However, entertaining 3 very different toddlers felt somehow harder. Zoe was too active and needed constant supervision, Zully was calmer and needed softer games so they wouldn't get scared and Diego was loud and demanding. A brat. But at least Dillon lived with him his entire life and Dillon could get away with disciplining him (or tossing the toddler into his playpen/prison when he didn't want to handle the kid) And the two could shout at each other all they wanted, they were brothers, they could do that all they wanted, knowing there was no real hard feelings between them in the end.

He feared shouting at the twins would lead to him in the hospital (from pissing Zoe off) or Zully coughing her lungs out for crying so much.

Phillip turned to kiss him. "We can do as much as we can, but we have a lot of time, we don't have to rush things, Zoe." he told the little girl.

"No, we gotta do everything~!" Zoe punched the air and started jumping around the kitchen. Dillon sat Zully and Diego at a table and gave them a bag of chocolate chips to count while Phillip and he prepared the dough. Zoe would bring the ingredients to them. That was the plan. They even told Zoe that if she didn't help properly with making the cookies, she couldn't have any of them.

Then she started sulking because as a 4 year old, she only heard what she wanted to. And right now, she just heard her mean cousin Dillon telling her she couldn't have cookies. Her brown and green eyes welled up with tears as she curled up on the floor and bit her thumb.

"Oh god…" Dillon ran a hand across his face. "Dillon! Dillon! Here's ten chips look!" Zully called loudly. Zully saw Diego playing with the chips, but it was ok, he was a baby, he was just 3, they were older!

While Zully waved their hand at Dillon, the poor teen sighed and nudged Phillip. "She loves you, talk to her." Phillip chuckled. "These kids're adorable." As he knelt down beside the sulking Zoe. "Hey Zoe, you okay?"

"...want cookies…" she muttered, lying on the ground. Phillip nodded. "We all want cookies. And if you help bring us the ingredients, we'll all be able to get cookies."

Zoe continued to pout. "Dillon said I can't have any." Dillon sighed. He said IF she didn't help!

Phillip sighed. "Well… if you help us make the cookies…" He pet her fluffy hair. "I'll share my cookies with you." Zoe looked up at that. "Weally?" Phillip nodded. "Of course. But! Only if you help us make the cookies."

Zoe sat up, grinning. "Yay!" Phillip smiled back, "Well, can you get me the flour? It's that bag over there with the red label." Zoe nodded enthusiastically and ran off to grab it.

Dillon raised an eyebrow. "If you give her your cookies, then what're you gonna eat?"

"I'm gonna take yours~" Phillip batted his eyes at the other teen. Dillon pouted mockingly and rested his chin on Phillip's shoulder. "Nou~ Then I guess I'll have to eat you~" He purred before turning to bite his cheek. Phillip yelped but his anger was placated by a soft kiss on his lips.

"""Eewww!""" The three toddlers whined. No matter if it was mom or dad, or boys, it was disgusting to see grown ups kissing!

"Can we do cookies now?!" Zoe asked, carrying the bag of flour a little sideways so some of it had spilled on her arm and the floor. The teens separated and sighed. Now they had to clean the mess...

While they prepared the dough, following the recipe Philip found on his phone, Zoe was sitting on the kitchen counter, watching the red-head mix the dough and Dillon cleaning some stuff.

His hair was so pretty~ Maybe she should throw flour at him so it stopped being so pretty! That would be funny!

"Zoe!" Dillon scolded when she threw flour at them and it covered his laughing boyfriend's face. "No! Don't do that! You're making a mess!" Zoe growled slightly at him but looked down. "Sorwy."

"Its ok...but be more careful next time, ok?" Dillon went to pat her hair, but she looked up and showed him her pointy, sharp teeth, so he pulled his hand away. That reminded him of a friend's dog that never let anyone pet him...

They continued working. Dillon put on some music and to his amusement, found Zoe moving around with it. Huh. So she liked music. Zully, who was now washing their hands to help with making the cookie balls, was wrinkling their nose, but Dillon guessed she just didn't like the music.

"Dillon! Dillon, how many is 10 chocolate chips down but repeating it 11 times to the left?" Diego called from his spot on the table, where he had been 'playing' with the chips. Dillon frowned.

What?

"Huh?"

"I-I mean, I didn't want to count Aaalllll the chips, because I dont know what's after 40...So, so I put it in rows?" The toddler tried explaining. Phillip laughed at Dillon's confused face (he wasn't even looking at Diego) so he went to see what was going on. "Ok, buddy, so you said…"

"10 chocolate chips repeated 11 times." Phillip glanced at what Diego did and smiled a little. "Do you know how to multiply?"

"How is he going to know how to multiply if he doesn't know how to add?" Dillon exclaimed. Phillip looked at Diego who was STILL expecting his answer.

"Well, your brother just planted a multiplication problem." Phillip said, impressed. Clever kiddo. "It's 110 chocolate chips, Diego. If you count 10, and then jump to 20, that's is 2 times 10. Then 3 times 10 is 30 and so on~ Multiplying is a lot easier than counting one by one isn't it?"

Diego nodded, slowly taking in the information. "Yeah…" He put out another line of 10 chips and pointed at it. "So… 10 chips repeated 12 times is 120?" He asked. Phillip nodded. "Yup. The 10s times table is pretty easy since you just add a 0 to the end of the number." He paused and thought about it. "Wanna learn how to multiply other numbers too?"

Diego nodded, delighted by the idea. Counting things much faster was cool! Phillip talked him through different numbers and what they would be called, "The set of ten after forty is fifty, like five-ty. And after that would be…"

"Six-ty!" Diego cried in delight. "And… and then seven-ty and eight-ty and nine-ty. And then a hundred!" He knew the word for a hundred. He heard that word a lot. Dad said it a lot. Daddy also said "franklins", that must be a different way to say a hundred!

He also knew one hundred and ten (110) since Phillip told him earlier, and then a hundred and twen-ty (120). This was easy! "What do I do when it's ten repeated twen-ty times?" Diego asked. Phillip grinned at him. "Then it becomes two hundred. Because it's a hundred, twice."

"And after that it's three-hundred? And then four-hundred?" Diego asked. Phillip nodded. "So what's one hundred repeated ten times?" Diego asked. "Well, then it becomes one thousand." Phillip was pretty impressed by Diego's quick understanding of the subject. Actually… Phillip pulled out some paper and wrote out the numbers 100, 1000, 10000, 100000 and so on, pointing at them and telling Diego what they were called. Diego frowned as the numbers got longer, but continued repeating them to himself.

Zoe was bored as shit by all these numbers. They made her head hurt. Zully was a little interested but wasn't all that invested in learning. It was cool, but they just wanted cookies.

Phillip helped Diego arrange all the chocolate chips into rows and columns. "Okay, so… how many chips do we have?" Phillip arranged them into columns of 10 until he ran out and was left with a few chips off in their own column.

"736!" Diego cheered after glancing down at the chips. Phillip paused. "How… did you know?" the seven columns of ten were one thing, but the rest of the chips had been placed in a 6x6 formation. Diego pointed at them. "It's six chips repeated six times. So that's three-ty-six. That means thirty six."

Phiilip's jaw dropped open while Dillon paused in his mixing to stare slack jawed at his baby brother as well. Zoe and Zully didn't seem to get what was so strange. "You count really fast." Zully patted their cousin's shoulder. Phillip swallowed and then asked, "What's 4 repeated 5 times?"

"Two-ty!" Diego responded, looking confused at the expression on Phillip and Dillon's faces.

"And… what's 7 repeated 9 times?" Phillip asked next.

"Six-ty three." Diego was getting annoyed now. "But that's not the chocolate chips! We're counting the chips, wemember?" He pointed at said chips, wanting the cookies now. Phillip nodded and swept up the chips to toss into the batter Dillon was mixing. "No problem Diego, we're gonna make the cookies now." Phillip smiled at him, ruffling his hair.

They showed the children how to scoop out the dough and dump onto the baking tray to make the cookies, the kids really liked this part, and while they were distracted, Phillip and Dillon got some time to talk.

"Dude. Your little brother's a genius." Phillip deadpanned. Dillon looked disgruntled. "But he can't even dress himself! And he still thinks the cartoons are real people!"

Phillip laughed. "Well he IS three years old." He glanced over at Diego, giggling as he and Zoe just grabbed the cookie dough with their hands to splat onto the baking sheet. (They all washed their hands before this.) "But seriously dude, he picked up on that real fast. Has he gotten tutoring?"

"Well, no, but he watches a lot of those educational kid's shows. Maybe he learned from them?" Dillon stared at his brother. "It's still really impressive that he could do that in his head so quickly though."

Dillon was impressed AND kinda jealous. The kid was here acting like a baby human calculator and then it was him, who couldn't even tell the alphabet without singing it first.

"Yeah, it is." Phillip nodded. "You should tell your parents, maybe get your brother a proper tutor? If he's interested in learning more about this kinda thing?"

"I'll text mom later." Dillon decided. The two young adults went back to the table and helped the kids with the cookies. They were going to end up really lopsided and lumpy, but as long as it tasted fine, none of them cared. Phillip finally slid the trays into the oven and set the timer. "Alright, we're done for now." They went to the living room to wait for the cookies to bake. "When will granny come baaack?" Zoe groaned as she sat on Phillip's lap (Dillon's eye twitched).

"I'm boooreedd!" Zully groaned loudly. Diego was entertained with math. Math was ok, but Zully couldn't be bothered. It seemed like...something normal?

"We can watch something?" Phillip suggested. "Puppy Cops!" Zoe squealed and hugged the red-head.

"They've watched too much tv already, my mom says Diego can't have more than a certain amount of screen time a day, and I guess Uncle Seb does the same." Dillon winced when the little girl glared angrily at him and hugged Phillip's neck tighter. The red-head wheezed.

"Ok, ok we can... color stuff?" Dillon suggested. Zully nodded excitedly. They liked doing arts and crafts. It was relaxing. Dillon went to go get the coloring books while Phillip pried Zoe's hands away and gasped for air.

"Gah! How are you so strong?! You're 3!"

"I'm four!" Zoe proudly showed off 4 little fingers with a hand on her hip. "Well, that clearly makes a difference…" Phillip coughed.

Dillon came back with some books and crayons and the 3 toddlers all laid down on the floor to draw. Diego pleaded for Phillip to teach him more math like grown ups did (on paper), Zoe ordered Phillip to stay with her.

Dillon sat down next to Zully, because he knew he was safe with their little kind soul. "Hey Zully, what 'cha drawing?"

Zully looked up from their paper, scribbles of colors decorating the page. They looked back down at it but didn't respond. Dillon peered over the kid's shoulder. There were… shapes. All different kinds and all different colors. Squares, circles, triangles, pentagons… "Oh. Are you into geometry?" Dillon joked, though a part of him wondered what he would do if Zully also turned out to be some kind of super genius like Diego apparently might be. Zully looked back up at him, confused. "What's geo-mer-tree?"

"It's when you learn about shapes. The angles, length and dimensions of them. Measuring and stuff like that." Dillon shifted and laid down on his belly next to Zully. The child frowned at this response. They didn't like the idea of that for some reason. "Nah." Zully shrugged, going back to their drawing.

"Well, can I draw shapes with you?" The toddler agreed and gave him a crayon. They drew more shapes, or well, Dillon was drawing them now, Zully was staring and making sure Dillon was doing it correctly. "That's not a square, that-that side is wrong…" They whispered as they pointed at a very lopsided square with wobbly sides.

Dillon pouted at his square. "Well, then it's an irregular shape." Zully grabbed another crayon and scratched out Dillon's square. "No i-egulars, those shapes are too sad."

"Okok…" Dillon winced at their hard stare. Maybe he had been underestimating Zully's creepiness. They were Zoe's twin after all. "Well, look at this, then." He grabbed a ruler and tried drawing a normal triangle before he added an eye and a little hat. "Your dad draws this all over the place, it's funny no? Its a triangle with an eye!"

Zully stared at the drawing before smiling a little. "Daddy draws this?" Zully traced the sides of the little triangle, looking fond.

"Yup! When you have a piece of paper, guard it! Because otherwise you'll end up with a silly triangle drawn by Sebastian Pines!" Dillon laughed. He remembered as a kid when he tried asking his uncle for help with homework and the man had simply doodled all over his paper. Good times.

Zully giggled madly and with a black crayon gave the shape legs and arms. "Now it can walk! And say hi! Look Dillon, its waving!" The kid waved their hand at Dillon. The teen grinned and ruffled their hair. He took that back, Zully was definitely easier to be with. Heck, Zoe was clinging to Phillip right now and trying to lick him.

"Dillon, help me!" Phillip pleaded. "No one can help you!" Dillon told him solemnly. "AaaAAahhhh!"

Dillon wondered how the twins could be so different.

"Sssshhh! 'M doing math!" Diego whined as he held his crayon tightly.

-.-

Back in Cancun. The two couples had gone through their city tour with a small group from their resort. Seb bought a cookbook with local recipes and he was looking forward to cooking them at home.

There were so many vegetables in here! The twins were gonna hate it~! Mwahahahaha~

They went to a restaurant to try out the food here, outside of the resort they were staying in, Carla said they could get a better idea of what real traditional food was like in a smaller family run restaurant than in their high price hotel restaurant. Seb still had red paint on his face from paintball (the only shot that actually managed to hit him) and Wanda was trying to wipe it off all day. No success. He wanted his paint. His battle scar from the war he fought and nearly lost!

They had a good time and the food was great! The good thing about travelling without kids was that they could order actual food instead of chicken nuggets. The servers spoke to them in english because they heard them speaking when they first entered, so Seb couldn't annoy them with his no-english joke. At least they went back to the usual comments of "Oh, how nice! You're twins!" And "Double honeymoon sounds so nice~!"

After the early dinner they had together, the couples split off from their group go check out different locations that had caught their eyes.

"We gotta meet back with the guide in a couple hours, guys, so let's not go too far." Carla reminded the triplets who were pulling them slightly, big smiles on their faces. The women gave each other wry smiles. Yup, they married two giant babies. But they wouldn't change that for the world.

"I wanna buy stuff for the twins! And fill the house with souvenirs!" Seb declared. There were colorful sombreros everywhere, cute little guitars, masks, aztec and mayan ceramics. It reminded Seb of the shack, but at the same time not. Their souvenirs in the US were different. Maybe he should buy Soos something~ And Pinetree and Shooting Star and everyone!

Wanda smiled a little. He was more hyperactive than usual, but at least he was back to normal. Happy and giddy, excited about life and everything in it. Not all moody and wanting to harm others. Maybe he really had been stir crazy at the hotel.

Seb was good. She knew he wouldn't harm others just because…

Well… Seb had told her he'd been a demon in his past life. And he was human now, but sometimes… Wanda shook her head. That didn't matter. Seb was Seb now. He wasn't that weird triangle guy.

A few minutes later, Seb had his backpack filled with souvenirs and Carla had to nudge Stanley to buy some.

"In space, the best 'souvenirs' you could get were those you grabbed for free!" Stan grumbled as Carla took his money. "Well, you're not in space, don't be a greedy old man!" She rolled her eyes. "You're rich. You can afford this." She told him. "Really, hoarding it all isn't gonna do you or anyone else, any good."

"Hey, I bought the penthouse didn't I?" Stan grumbled. And sure, he miiiight have been inspired by William's place, what with the pool and huge living room with the giant tv and all the other cool stuff. The only thing Stan's new house didn't have was the shifting hallways and secret passages… actually… Stan was lost in thought, thinking about how cool that would be, even as Carla took over carefully selecting souvenirs for their family and friends back home.

The people selling waved kindly at them when they walked away. "I'm thirsty" Seb declared after 5 minutes of walking. "Can we go find somewhere to buy drinks?"

Stan gave him a mocking glare. "We literally told you to buy it before! You're acting like a child~" ''I wasn't thirsty before! And I'm not!" Seb whined.

"PERISH" Stan grinned and smacked him on the back of his head.

Seb growled and shoved his brother away from him. "DON'T HIT ME!"

The two devolved into slapping at each other. The two sane people groaned. "Do you two have to do this right here? Right now?" Carla rubbed her face. Wanda sighed. "I know you're both hot and uncomfortably sweaty, but that doesn't mean you should go around picking fights with each other."

"Great! I will pick up fights with strangers then!" Seb shouted at a random passerby in Spanish. "Hey you! Wanna fight?!" The poor man walked away faster from him.

"Hey look, a store! I'm sure there's water there!" Wanda held Seb's arm and pulled him inside. Stan flinched away from Carla's glare and pulled a bottle of water from his backpack to drink it. "Seb is sometimes so weird…" Poor Carla facepalmed. Seb gasped at Stan. "You had water this whole time!? And you didn't share?!"

"It's fine, Seb, let's go buy you some water." Wanda pulled him into the store, both of them moaning in relief at the air conditioning.

They bought water and some snacks to have when they were back at the resort. Carla and Stan waited for them by the entrance. Seb and Wanda talked to the cashier for a while and Seb's face changed immediately.

"What happened over there?" Stan asked once they walked in their direction. "He says his sister's bar's just a block away! And in a few days there's going to be a party and they invited a band and there's gonna be music and lots of drinks! We should go! I got a card!" He waved it in front of Stan.

Stan blinked at it before grinning. "Drinks? I'm in!"

Carla shrugged. "It could be fun. But don't go overboard." She didn't want to deal with both Stan and Seb drunk. The two of them ended up hyping each other up until it became a huge mess.

With that happy thought in mind, they went back downtown to meet their tour guide who was waiting for the group to return. They were going back to their hotel now. The only one who didn't fall asleep on the ride was Wanda, who ended up stroking Seb's curls as he nuzzled her shoulder. It was fine… He behaved well during the city tour. Maybe he just needed to release energy like the twins did...Him wanting to hurt those people at the hotel and then in paintball was just...him being excited, right? It was just a weird one time occurrence. It didn't mean it would happen again…

She held his hand which was resting on her thigh and winced when she left it there too long. It was hot as hell, as if it was a hot pan! She searched for the wattle bottle to pour a bit over his head. It helped cool his body a little. This was definitely something she will need to deal with now that they were married…

(Honestly, sometimes she forgot that Seb was magical, but then things like this happened. Wanda could hear the water sizzle and steam as it touched her husband's skin. Well, hopefully they could take a cold shower later. She never thought she'd want to do such a thing).

-.-

Diego liked this math game. But you know what else he liked? His mommy. He wanted mommy and daddy. He was very sad and not even getting a hug from granny helped. When he got tired of playing, he spent the days sulking in a corner or sobbing.

Dillon liked his brother and cousins. But you know who else he liked? His boyfriend. He wanted to spend time with Philly! He hadn't been able to spend real time with him and it wasn't fair! His dad wasn't even paying him to babysit!

Worst of all? Grandma was abandoning them. That's right. As if things couldn't get any worse, Kari was called and she said she wanted to visit an old friend back in New Jersey who was sick. Dillon didn't want to sound like a douchebag telling her she shouldn't leave them alone with the kids...so he just complained in silence.

"I'll be back in a few days, baby." Kari kissed his forehead, hugged Phillip and snuggled the three pouting toddlers. To no one's surprise, Diego started sobbing and it took Dillon (and Zully's kind words and her plushies) to call him down. The twins were upset Diego cried, but LUCKILY they didn't.

Now, alone with Phillip and Sasha,the only person who could allow him some quality time with the ginger boy was her. And she wasn't been very cooperative these days...

"Sasha, please?" Dillon begged. Sasha raised an eyebrow. "I am not a babysitter. Specifically, I'm not going to let you go off to who knows where, outside my sight and protection, just because you want to spend some alone time with Phillip." Dillon groaned. He could be alone with Phillip without Sasha hovering somewhere around him as long as he was at home, since it was safe here, but Dillon was getting stir crazy. He wanted to go out somewhere together with Phillip. But any dates outside involved Sasha and the children following along.

Their visit to the amusement park was hectic. The twins kept trying to run off and it took so much energy to keep all the children with the group. Diego was always a bother to be with too, and Dillon couldn't deal with one more temper tantrum from that kid. He knew Diego was just three and missing mom...but COME ON! He wasn't even trying to make it easier on them! He had complained about wanting ice cream and THEN That it wasn't the right size! Sasha didn't even interfere, it was Dillon who had to do everything.

Phillip, bless his soul, was so kind (or just oblivious because he was an only child). He liked the kids and actually seemed to enjoy spending time with them. It was beyond Dillon how Phillip had so much patience.

"I'm sorry we're stuck here…" Dillon sulked into his embrace. "It's ok, I'm just glad we get to spend time together, you know?" Phillip kissed his forehead. "Urgh, you're so nice." Dillon grumbled.

Phillip grinned and showed him his phone. "I've been researching things we could do with the toddlers. Basic origami will keep them entertained and exercise their little brains. It will be good for Diego. From what I've been able to learn about young children, the reason Diego's so restless all the time is probably because he's smart. His mind is going super fast and he has nothing to put his little brain into doing. So, getting him into crafts, workbooks and possibly puzzles, would help a lot. Have you called your mom to tell her about Diego's mathematical talent?"

Dillon shrugged. Sure, genius. Diego was just a brat...The brat that got everything he wanted because he got to grow up with both mom and dad. "I left her a message but she hasn't replied…" She probably didn't have wifi...or was too busy being child free to remember him. Dillon bit his lip, trying very hard not to feel angry with her about that. The logical side of himself knew that it wasn't his mom or dad's fault that he never got to spend as much time as he wanted with the both of them. Mom was a single parent, working to pursue her career, and dad was lost in...well, space. They… they weren't always there for him when he was growing up. And… Dillon knew it wasn't their fault.

But a part of him was still mad. It was unfair. It was so unfair! And watching Diego get spoiled rotten by his parents, having dad HERE for him- and… Dillon was just so mad at his little brother. Their parents were only on vacation for a month. Dillon was angry that Diego was making such a fuss over their parents being gone for a month, when Dillon had to deal with dad being gone for THIRTEEN YEARS. It just made him so incredibly angry, seeing the way Diego whined about it.

'I had to live without dad for almost my whole life! And then, when he was finally back, I had to share him with you! So why can't you stop being such a little bitch and whining about just not seeing mom and dad for JUST a month?!' Dillon fumed.

"Are you ok, baby?" Phillip asked softly as he noticed Dillon's expression turn dark. He stroked his cheek and the younger boy nuzzled his hand, blinking fast to get rid of the dumb tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

"Yeah, just, I guess I'm just a little tired…" He gave him a small smile.

Phillip pressed his forehead against Dillon's, kissing his nose. "I can tell that's not it. You're not good at lying." Dillon managed a laugh at that. Funny. Considering his parents were an actress and a businessman, the ultimate liars.

"I'm stressed, Phillip. I don't wanna babysit anymore. And Diego is just so annoying."

"He's a sweetheart~" Phillip insisted.

"Ok! Defend him then! Go watch that fucking stupid fish show with them if you like him so much! I'm going to my room." Dillon pulled away from him, upset even his boyfriend was on his side.

"Dillon, what's wrong?" Phillip winced, realizing he'd upset his boyfriend somehow.

"Nothing! I just don't want to fucking see any fucking toddler right now?! Is that too much to ask?!"

"Dillon, the tv does-doesn't wowk." Diego's voice sounded behind him and Dillon cursed, his patience reaching its limits. "Big brother! The tv-" ''Who CARES?! Just go do something else then!" He turned to his brother, losing control of himself. "Leave me the FUCK alone!" He screamed before he turned and stormed off.

Phillip was left in shock, staring after his boyfriend. Diego on the other hand…

"U-uweh…" Diego's large eyes teared up and he started sniffling. What did he do? Why was his big brother angry at him this time? He didn't do anything, he didn't break the tv...Mommy said to ask Dillon if he needed help. He was his big brother. He knew everything...

Zoe and Zully ran up to them to see why no one was fixing the tv when they saw Diego sniffling again. "Why you crying this time?" Zoe asked, sounding very passive-aggressive at her younger cousin as she put her hands on her hips. Zully ran up to Diego and started patting his head. "It's okay. Do you… do you want a hug?" Zully, the pure, sweet angel, asked as they hugged Diego anyway.

Phillip finally reacted and ran a hand across his disheveled red locks. Fuck. Ok. He got this.

He managed to calm Diego down with an explanation that Dillon was just angry right now, not angry at Diego (Phillip lied through his teeth) but just wanted to be left alone right now (Diego seemed to accept that answer, though Zoe and Zully were frowning at him suspiciously). He solved the problem with the tv (a wrong button was pressed) and told Sasha to stay with them while he went to talk to Dillon. All of this had taken a while, so he hoped his boyfriend had cooled down enough to talk.

"Baby~" Phillip knocked. He looked at the floor and saw his backpack. "Why are my things out here?"

"Go the fuck away." Was a muffled reply. "Go home! I don't want to see you right now!"

"But it's late and my parents aren't home. I don't have a key either." Phillip sat down on the floor and leaned against the door. "Do you want me to sleep on the street?"

"That's YOUR problem!" Dillon shrieked, but Phillip couldn't help but laugh. "Please, baby, I'm not leaving...I care about you, if I did something, please forgive me. But I want to know what I did to upset you…"

After long minutes in silence, the lock clicked and Phillip heard a soft, "Ok, you can enter, asshole…" Phillip stood up and looked at his boyfriend, worried. "What's wrong? Something obviously upset you. I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry."

Dillon winced. "It's not... " He sighed and rubbed his face. "It's… not really your fault. I'm just… a stupid bitch."

"You're not a bitch, and you're not stupid." Phillip corrected him.

"Yes I am…" "No you're not…" This went on for a while until Dillon looked up and mumbled. "Only a stupid bitch would feel jealous of a stupid possibly genius 3 year old who can't even tie his shoes on his own…"

Phillip seriously didn't mean to laugh. But he did. And that only caused Dillon to glare at him and tell him to fuck off again. "Oh, nooo! Wait, baby. I'm not laughing at you~ It's just...You don't have to feel jealous of Diego for that! You're intelligent too!" He went to sit next to Dillon, who was still pouting. "You're just as amazing!"

"It's not about him being some kinda genius or not! Who the fuck cares if he's like Stanford! That'd only mean he'll be awkward as fuck and a pain to deal with!" Dillon sighed. "I'm upset because-because he's annoying!"

"And the twins aren't?" Phillip asked, trying to figure out the core of this problem.

"They're my cousins! It's completely different!" Dillon reached up for a hug Phillip gladly gave him one. "I...I think I just haven't gotten over my jealousy when I was 14 and Diego was born…" He whispered. "I went to therapy for this...Fuck, I want my money back…"

"Well…" Phillip snuggled into his arms. "I'm not a therapist, but I am trying to be a doctor so…" He kissed Dillon's cheek. "Wanna talk about it?"

Dillon let it all out. His frustration, his insecurities, his feelings from being half-orphaned for most of his life. At some point he started crying into Phillip's shoulder. "A-and the other kids would make cards for their dads for Father's Day du-during class, and I didn't have anything. I didn't h-have a dad! And-And everyone was mean! O-or- when the other kids talked about going c-camping with their dads o-or learning fishing? An-and I never got to do ANY of that! I-I, Uncle Seb was there, but he wasn't my dad! As much as I wanted him to be! So many times! And he wasn't even everyday and eve-even if dad's here now, I...I can never have that childhood with him!" Dillon's breath hitched as he unloaded everything. "A-and Diego doesn't even know how lucky he is! And I hate it so much! And he complains every single day about everything and how much he misses our parents! I hate it!"

Phillip stroked Dillon's hair and rocked him gently. "It's fine to feel like that. It's fine to get angry sometimes."

"B-but he's my BROTHER! I'm su-su-supposed to love him!"

"And I'm sure you do." Phillip told him. "But even if you didn't, that doesn't make you a bad person."

Dillon sniffled. "Really?" Phillip nodded. "Yeah. Just 'cause someone's family, doesn't automatically mean you have to love them. Sure, you're normally supposed to, but if you don't then you don't. And you shouldn't have to force yourself to feel things for people that you don't. It'd be fake as hell if you did that anyway."

Dillon buried his face into his chest. "I...I don't hate him...I think I don't...but I can't fucking deal with the things he does, you know? Like, he's too annoying!" He crossed his arms. "Always asking me stuff and demanding things and just being a spoiled, cry baby brat!"

Phillip smiled a little. "Well, he IS just 3 though...Toddlers are freaking nightmares as they are!" He read a lot about child development. Young children literally didn't know anything about the world, they hadn't experienced it yet, hadn't learned anything yet. That's why the adults were supposed to take care of them. And Phillip wanted to be a Pediatrician. He wanted to be able to help children. And he had to learn about them for that.

The ginger boy gently stroked Dillon's freckled cheek with a thumb."Diego doesn't know anything. You're his big brother. HE looks up to you, he knows he doesn't know many things, and the only thing he's sure about is that YOU do. Because you're his big brother, you're the smartest guy he knows." Phillip nudged Dillon. "I'm jealous of you, you know? I've always wanted siblings."

Dillon snorted and managed to joke, "Then you can have him."

"Nah, it should be more of a time-share. I get him Monday to Wednesday, you get Thursday to Saturday and we'll alternate on Sundays?" Phillip joked back. Dillon snorted and flopped onto his bed.

They didn't realize when they fell asleep, but being in each other's arms felt amazing. Dillon felt guilty for standing up but the light was on and he didn't have powers like his uncle and cousins to turn it off with his mind.

He opened his door and the hallway was dark. Huh. So Sasha put the kids to sleep? That was great...He was about to close the door when he noticed a paper on the floor. It was one of Diego's drawings. From what he could get out of this mess of a drawing, it was a drawing of Diego and himself holding hands. His brother even tried spelling their names. Sure it was all weird, but he could recognize the D's and I's and O's.

And the deformed hearts around them. Dillon sighed and closed the door, drawing in hand.

Diego surely made it difficult for him to stay annoyed at him...He smiled a little bit and cuddled back with Phillip. How stupid, trying to kick him out. He'd miss sleeping with him when dad was back to kick Phillip out…

-.-

Phillip did end up getting the activity books for the toddlers. The kids loved them. Zoe liked the coloring book and the puzzle, refusing to let anyone help her with them (even if she colored outside the lines or put the pieces in the wrong place). Diego loved the simple math problem workbook. He couldn't read it, but he could recognize the numbers and solved the equations quietly, except for the occasional "Dillon, I did it! Look!" When he solved a particularly problematic exercise.

Dillon nodded at him. His feelings were not erased overnight, but he was ok enough to push them back like a man. "That's good, kid. Keep it up~" "Okie!"

Zully was entertained with Phillip now, doing origami with him. Zoe allowed her twin to borrow her Philli for a while. "They're treating ya like a piece of meat!" Dillon teased and Phillip dramatically put a hand on his forehead. "I'm a human too, ladies!"

Zully was obsessed with making fishies. Phillip had chosen the Easiest ones so it didn't end up frustrating the poor baby. Zully was making LOTS of fish. They said they'd give one to everyone in their family. When they were done, they demanded new animals and Phillip chose a cat. He'd follow the instructions and have Zully copy him.

"And now...if you fold this here, it should be a-fudge!" Phillip cursed as his large fingers crushed the paper. This isn't a cat! This was a...a poor deformed radioactive blob! Zully however did not fucked up the procedure as Phillip did and proudly showed him their cat. "I make one!" Zully was very proud of themselves. Phillip laughed. "Well, looks like you're more dexterous than I am." He ruffled their already tangled curly hair. As Kari wasn't here to help, no one had combed the twins hair. He really should though, it was all messed up...

Zully pulled at the book Phillip brought. "I wanna do more!" They patted the book for Phillip to find another design. "Ok, ok sweetie. I'll find a HARDER one ok?" Zully squealed. "But then, I'm combing your hair."

"Noouu!" Zully put their hands over their head and Phillip grinned. "No comb, no more origami." Dealing with kids was hard, but he liked it. He loved kids, but he understood Dillon's resentment. Zully groaned but agreed.

(He hoped this won't be an obstacle for them to adopt in the future if...if they decided to form a family…)

As Zully followed the steps to make a doggie, Phillip sat behind her to comb their curls as soft as he could. Dillon was sitting on the couch looking at his phone, but the sight of Phillip being so paternal was much, much better. He smiled at him. Oof, it was kind of a turn on to be honest...

"I finished! Look!" Zoe pulled at Dillon's arm. He rubbed his arm (ow!), and looked at her badly colored drawings. "Good job, Zoe!"

"Wiii!" She squealed. She gasped when she saw HER Philli combing Zully's hair. "ME TOO!" She screamed as she ran over to shove her twin out of the way, wanting Phillip to comb her hair too.

"Dillon, I'm hungwy." Diego told his big brother. "I wanna eat." Dillon sighed heavily and announced he was heating up lunch. He was so glad he didn't have to cook, mom had hired a cooker to come everyday to make meals. There were also canned food and instant meals but...Dillon didn't trust himself with food, he only knew how to boil an egg...

He sat the toddlers with them and Sasha watched in amusement as the teens tried to keep the toddlers from getting distracted. Right now, Zully was telling them about preschool and how much fun they had with their friend Amanda.

"Oh, your friend?" They grinned like the dicks they were. Zully nodded innocently. "She's very nice! And her hair is brown and soft! And her plushies are cute."

"Oh my god, gay baby." Phillip whispered in awe. Dillon chuckled. "We don't know yet~ But how cool would that be?"

Dillon looked at Sasha. The woman was eating quietly. "So, dear Sasha. I'm fucking tired of being cooped up at home. Can we leave the house? At least for a bit?"

"If it's all of us, I see no problem. I will set up a route." She responded. Dillon sighed loudly and agreed. Fine. Ok. But he needed to get out of the house or he was going to explode.

Besides, they could go to the park. Sasha will HAVE to prioritize watching the kids over them and then he'll have some time alone with Phillip~

-.-

Stan rubbed his brother's back as the two walked by the seashore. It was a nice evening. The weather wasn't scalding hot and they were walking barefoot by the wet sand, it reminded them of when they were kids. It would have been a nice day if it weren't for the fact that their wives were extremely pissed at them. Well, Wanda was super pissed at Seb, but because Carla was a WOMAN, so she sided with her bestie in how men were the absolute worst and now she was pissed because Wanda was pissed.

"You gotta calm the fuck down, Seb." Stan said, super calmly. "I haven't seen you this crazy since...what? We were 12? I thought you had gotten over it."

"What?! I can't be myself now?! What if I want to have fun on my own fucking trip I paid for?!" He crossed his arms, pissed.

"Wanda is super angry at you right now."

"Urgh! I just climbed a pole! Big deal! Everyone was doing it!"

"...No...just those dancers...and you got in a fight with them...And you were dragged out of the park…" They had been to an adventure park and it was supposed to be all fun, games and drinks. But Seb had been vibrating all day...just to bother others. He had been making other people trip, get wet, made them slip, and the more dangerous ones were him making the rails for the zip lines stop working, or making those on them shake as if they were going to fall.

If it wasn't for Wanda using her...lawyer magic to talk them out of calling the cops...Geez.

Seb's eye flickered from red to yellow to normal as he growled.

"Are you missing the twins?" Stan asked him. "I think they help you control yourself." He laughed. Seb stuck a hand in a pocket as he wiped his sweat with his other hand. "I love the twins, Fez...And I do miss them but...but I've never felt...so...free before. So...So happy to do what I want! I-I feel like I can be me…" It was so weird, he couldn't quite understand what he was feeling...he just knew it was...liberating. To stop being a fucking lame human...When was the last time he had used his powers for fun?! The only time he could think of was with Pinetree and Shooting Star! And that was almost 5 years ago!

"You're not being you! You're just...messing with people! And as amusing as other people's suffering is, you're bothering Wanda AND Carla and I can't have her angry at me during our honeymoon, you get what I mean?"

Seb blushed a little as he nodded. "Yeah…" Stan patted his back, feeling like a winner for getting him to understand. "So, lets all calm down and be ourselves in a non-destructive way, ok? I'll buy you a beer."

Wrong words. "How do you know I'm not being myself?!" Seb hissed. Stan groaned. "Because I fucking knew you since we were born! And even before that!"

"You don't know me, Fez… At all…" Seb said seriously. Stan sighed. "If this is about being a demon alien thing, that doesn't matter. You're still you, my little brother. Sebastian Pines."

"Well, maybe I'm not…" Seb mumbled. "You only know the brother that has been scared EVERY single day, you only really know the part of me that had been abused for years! Stan, I'm not fully human, I'm not! I-I've tried every day to push it back! I'm not a fully disgusting human being...but I'm not a sweet, saint either...I'm not a kind, pure baby! And it ticks me off SO MUCH when my mother-in law calls me that! She doesn't know anything about me! And Wanda doesn't EITHER! I've tried for so long to be good and just accept I failed...but I can't ignore just how...amazing it feels to cause chaos and make others suffer…" He smiled a little. It was a bitter expression. He loved his family, he really did. But living the domestic life was… stifling. He couldn't help but think back to the days he ran with Rico's gang, scary as it had been, and finding himself missing it.

"Being scared of everything had me blind. And now that I'm ok with myself...being a dad has limited that for me, having to set a good example?! Forcing the twins to follow stupid rules just because someone says they have to?! Being kind to people I wish I could kill! Me?! Are you kidding! Look who you're talking to!" Seb hissed. Circles, just thinking about Carol's stupid face made him want to set something on fire. "I don't want to have to hold back and play nice anymore. I want to do whatever I want! I don't…" Seb struggled to find the words. "I don't want to have to hide that part of me that just… wants to be a monster." He admitted, feeling torn up inside.

He hated being a monster, because he had been afraid that everyone would hate him for it. But… it was getting to be too much now. He was itchy in his own skin, those whispered dark thoughts that used to come from Bill2 weren't here anymore. They were his OWN thoughts now. He and Bill2 fused. They were complete, one being again. And everything that Bill2 had always wanted, the violence, the chaos, that was what Seb wanted too. He realized that now. That those awful things were all him, himself. And he'd simply denied it so hard (wanting to fit in, wanting others to stop hurting him for things he couldn't control) they got split from each other. But he was whole now, whole in a way he'd never been allowed to fully realize or appreciate. He wasn't busy being scared all the time anymore. And now…

"Seb." Stan stopped, placing his hands on his brother's shoulders. "You're not a monster."

"I AM!" Seb screamed back. "You don't understand! I've always been a monster! I've just… never been allowed to be ME!" Because he had cared more about other people and what they thought. "But here no one knows me, it's not even my country...And-And I can be free for at least one month!"

"And then what?" Stan crossed his arms with a gruff voice. "You go back home to suppress all-all this?! That you've been apparently keeping to yourself?" Stan laughed humorlessly. "Seb, you really can't be serious…"

"Oh, I am! I'm very serious! Linda said I had to be myself. I wasn't a monster because Dad said I was...I am a monster because I want to be. He's still doesn't define me!" He smiled brightly.

Stan rubbed the back of his head, unsure on how to handle this. He couldn't even call Ford for help...

"What about your daughters?" "What about them? They have my powers, they're not my clones. They can be what they want, like I said, I actually listened to Linda~ My powers doesn't make who I am. Bill's been waay gone before I ever got his powers… and the twins too, they have powers but they're not monsters because of them." Seb mumbled.

"You know Wanda is very worried for you…"

"That's her problem…" He mumbled childishly. Who told her to marry him?

"And, now you're making ME worried...I know you're kinda crazy, I know that, I know YOU, even if you think I don't...But I know you aren't a monster, Seb. I know."

Seb rubbed his arm. "If I'm not a monster, then what am I? A human with fire powers who can't get burned and can grow 4 arms and change into a horrible form? Who was raised by...by the nicest mom, and learn basic respect for others, but who still has the twisted thoughts of a FUCKING demon inside his mind? A demon, mind you, that had killed people and tortured others to get what he wanted? A human that-that doesn't have a clear past life and who's constantly fighting to know where does Bill end and Sebastian begin..."

Seb growled and closed his eyes. God...He should have stayed dead that summer...He never knew when to quit…And now he had to sort this mess inside himself for the rest of his life. Stan sighed and hugged his brother, he didn't normally like to do this kinda touchy feely stuff, but this was his brother. And Seb was confused. At least, Stan was pretty sure he was just confused. He was probably just stressed and trying to find some way to let it all out without knowing a healthy way to do it.

Yeah, that was it.

-.-

"Urgh, finally we're getting out of the house." Dillon sighed in relief at the knowledge that they would be seeing the sky and feeling the breeze soon. "I know right~ I really like the kids, but I was getting kinda worn down taking care of them. Especially Zoe. She's been holding me hostage these days! She's a little crazy~" Phillip rubbed his face. She was very clingy. And super jealous whenever he paid attention to Zully instead of her.

''Hahaha A little, yeah~I really don't like when she bites me...Her teeth hurt!" Dillon rubbed his arm, wondering if the antibiotics he took would be enough to save him from infection. "And they're just baby teeth!" Phillip mused. "I know right? She's kinda weird...and very loud, even louder than Diego, and he's annoying as he is. Well, at least you'll have her out of your hair for a few hours." Dillon nudged his boyfriend, happy to be able to hold hands with him without being interrupted by a baby shriek. The two boys laughed together.

Zoe stepped back from Dillon's room (having heard their muffled conversation) and looked down at her untied sneakers with a pout.

She wasn't crazy...She really liked Philli, but he didn't like her…" the little girl went to find Sasha so she could help her tie up her shoes. She didn't need them! They were mean!

They were not driven to the park, they could walk. Dillon and Phillip actually preferred it that way. On the way to the park, Zoe refused to hold any of the boys' hands, she only wanted Sasha. She actually had more strength than the boys to keep her from running away so the adults were all fine with this.

Not that it mattered. Zoe was walking slowly and quietly...That was weird. Diego was holding Dillon's hand and Zully had Phillip who wondered why the other blonde wasn't fighting for him.

"She just dumped you." Dillon whispered with a grin. They settled in a picnic table the park offered. "Hey kiddos, why don't you go play? Sasha will watch you~" The woman sent them a glare and the two raised their hands. "We'll just stay here, well within sight, I promise." Dillon smiled innocently. Sasha rolled her eyes but accepted that. "Scream if you need me." She told them before taking the children over to the playground area. Diego wanted to go on the swings. Zully waved at the other kids and Zoe climbed the slide.

Dillon sent them a look and shrugged. They would be fine. He cuddled his boyfriend and took a deep breath of fresh air. Aah~ "I love being out...especially with you~" He kissed his nose.

Phillip pulled out his phone and snapped a photo of him kissing his cheek. "Same~ Hey, photo for my mommy~ She says she doesn't know anything about me~"

"I love your mom, and her cookies!" The two giggled and kissed each other lips softly. And then, to ruin their moment, a girl walked up to them to tell them to stop being gross because "There were children present." and she "Didn't want her sister seeing."

"I'd be more worried kids saw your ugly homophobic face, bitch." Phillip shot back. "The fuck you think you are, son of a bitch?!" She slapped the red headed boy who stood up to throw fists.

Dillon groaned loudly. Who knew there were so many assholes in the area. "Leave us alone. I'm not in the mood to deal with you! Sasshaaa!" He screamed. "This bitch just slapped Phillip and she wants to attack me!"

The girl yelped when she was pulled back and pinned to the ground. "I suggest you back away, ma'am." Sasha told her firmly. Dillon didn't even see Sasha approach. Damn. She was really good at this. The girl's mom came to complain, and just as easily, Sasha stopped her from coming closer to them. Woo! Go, Sasha!

After Sasha scared those awful people away, Phillip, a dramatic bitch, made his way to the playground to pick up his charges with his head high. "Let's go, kiddos! Let's find a park without mean people!" He looked around and to his cardiac arrest, no blonde twins or curly haired freckled boy.

"Kids?!" He searched everywhere. They weren't in the jungle gym. Or the swings. Or the see-saw. Or that metal spinning thing he still didn't know the name of. He was going to throw up. He ran back to his boyfriend and bodyguard. "Please tell me you have the toddlers!"

"What?!" Sasha screamed and went to check again. They HAD to be there! Dillon grabbed Phillip's arm. "You mean my brother is not there?! Or the twin?!

"N-No! I can't find them!" The older teen screamed. Dillon's eyes widened as he looked up, hoping Sasha returned with them, but at her desperate look, his stomach sank.

Nononononononono! He really couldn't have lost them! He had problems with Diego and-and Zoe wasn't the easiest girl to be with if you were short on patience but he REALLY didn't want anything happening to them! "We gotta find them!"

The kids were gone.

---

So honeymoon isnt going as well huh?

and those dumb bois lost the kids even with their bodyguard!

Please revieww, we want to hear what you think! :)