Slices of Life and Family

by bluefrostyy

PART 3 of The life of Sebastian Pines! (Read that first, I doubt you'll understand what's going on) The story follows Seb's life after Gravity Falls. Bill was defeated, but the Pines family still have thousands of adventures together. Old characters will come back, new characters will make an appearance, all to accompany Seb through his journey as a human (Cowritten with Mizuuma)

28. Chapter 28 Keeping up with the Pines

Hello! New chapter! Drawing in deviantart! Please enjoy!

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After Wanda finished her job in Los Angeles, they had a few more weeks to get everything set up. June arrived and the Pines were all in a rush. Shermie was going with his wife and twins once Dipper finished his courses and Abi got time off work to come along this time.

Seb and Wanda got stressed getting all the packing done (along with the paperwork for what happens after summer), but it was definitely worth it. They found the perfect elementary school, they talked to this new principal (Seb promised not to mess with this one), Zach's name and situation was resolved too, which was a great relief. And best of all, Amanda would stay in the twins' old school (which had elementary) and they wouldn't see Carol again!

While they prepared their bags and bought tickets for the planes to be able to leave to the other side of the country in peace, Zoe was lazily playing with Daddy's tablet. Well. Not the working one, she didn't want to get shouted at because angry Dad was scary Dad, it was an old one she and Zach could use.

She was snuggled on the couch, scrolling through boring videos in ThemTube while Zach colored. "Zachy~ How do you spell monster?" She asked her twin, wanting to find cooler videos. The other blonde frowned.

"Uh...M and o is mo...Mon...M-o…-s-t-e..."

Zoe typed that down and the automatic corrector changed it. Zach sat down with her to see. He wanted to grab the tablet but after some whines and pulls, Zoe stayed with it. They scrolled down until a video caught their attention. It was about a monster head!

"Hi, welcome back to Dipper's guide to the unexplained. Anomaly 42: Tooth."

The twins gasped with big smiles on their faces. That was Dipper! As a kid! And Mabel was there too! The video was very scary for the 5 year olds, especially Mabel's creepy bear.

Dad entered the living room with an empty cup to get more of Miz's tea from the kitchen and both gremlins jumped on him. "DAD! LOOK! Dipper and Mabel as kids!"

Seb stared at the video and grimaced. "Oh my god, did Dipper really upload those videos?" He then laughed. It was the twins' channel! So funny! The video didn't have that many views but it had lots of followers, that was adorable.

He sat with his kids to watch more of the old videos on the channel (as the new ones seemed to be Math classes? Wut? Animations or something?) and got a good laugh out of it, especially with an old video burning down the curtains in his house as he tried to summon a ghost.

"He recorded most of that in Gravity Falls. You can bother him about it when you see him in a few days." Seb snickered.

Zoe rubbed her palms together. Oh, she was counting on it~

-.-

Finally it was time to leave. They were taking Sir Bedazzle and Queen Flutter in cages, because the twins 'couldn't leave their favorite stuffed toys at home'. Security thought it was hilarious how the adorable twins took them in little cages as if they were real animals.

Seb and Wanda were tense through the whole process of revision and scanning, but fortunately for them, everything went fine.

Ford was with them. He was convinced into going with them together as family. Miz wanted people to coo at them for their status as 'twins'. In the scanning it took him a little more time though to convince them he didn't have a bomb or a dangerous metallic object on his possession. "Surgery plate!" He quickly explained while rapping his knuckles against his head with a metallic clunk.

Seb helpfully added, "Yeah! His skull was crushed! Like a grape! It was seriously horrible, it was the same accident I lost my eye in! Look! HAHAHA!" He lifted his eye-patch and showed the red and black scars. The security guys were so disturbed, one even gagged, and they let the Pines go.

The two triplets fist-bumped and Wanda rolled her eyes, holding the kids' hands. Miz followed closely. She wasn't clinging to her anymore but she did keep an eye out and stick close. She also kept a close eye on the twins, more worried for their safety than her own.

They had to wait an hour for their flight and Seb was already hating it. The twins weren't normal gen alpha kids. He could give them his phone to watch videos but they wouldn't sit still. They wanted to run around and he didn't look forward to running after them. He pulled out from his bag something that made Wanda frown in disapproval and he quickly put the child leashes on the twins. "Now you are safe!" He declared proudly. They were like little backpacks, but only he could take them off. Mwahaha!

"Let go!" Zoe tried to run away but the elastic rope only extended so far. She rubber-banded back with a squeak. "No use on fighting it, kid...it's happening." Sebastian sat down between his triplet and wife watching the kids try to run, bite or nibble on their leashes.

"I am not sure you should put your children on leashes, Sebastian." Ford commented lightly, watching Zoe on the floor twisting and turning. Miz spoke up "But you put ME in leashes." She was sitting beside him as he absently pet her head, she had trained him well. Seb and Wanda both choked.

"That's different. I put you in harnesses to ride you." Ford corrected. It took some begging but he got her to agree to let him ride her dragon form. He made the harness both to keep himself from falling off and because he thought it would be cool to be a dragon riding knight.

It was...one of the most amazing experiences he'd ever had. They had flown around for hours. Xin told him about the elements in space, far more than the ones humans discovered here on Earth, their atomic weight, the classification they got, and he listened with huge big eyes. Ford's cheeks turned pink at the sudden memory of...how warm and...comfortable he felt talking with Xin… their time together was so intellectually stimulating! It was thrilling, exciting- he felt so alive, up there in the sky late at night. The wind blowing through his hair, the stars up above him. Xin's voice recounting the planets he'd been to…

Seb and Wanda made more strangled sounds. In his shock, Seb almost let the twins escape. Luckily Wanda grabbed the other leash.

"Yeah it was pretty cool~" Miz shrugged. "But at first you got a bit crazy pulling and steering me. I like being able to move my head on my own." Miz gave him a teasing grin. Her adopted parents were blushing heavily. How could they talk about it so nonchalantly in public?!

It took a bit more of waiting, in which Miz passed out on Seb's lap as he stroked her hair, but eventually, they started boarding and as they had small kids, they went first! Woo! The flight lasted around 5 hours and while each parent would sit with one twin, Miz was sitting with Ford. She was glad he accepted. She felt safe with him. He was a friend, and he was big. And had a jacket she could hide in. They boarded the plane and to the passengers, flight attendants, and even the captain's joy, the twins fell asleep. Everyone made a collective sigh of relief while Seb and Wanda took the unique chance to sleep as well. Miz spent the time chatting with Ford about carbon nanotubes and how the specific pattern of molecular bonds gave substances with those structures their incredible strength, as well as how to construct them.

Miz HAD decided to simply take the high school graduation exam in order to forgo schooling. College wasn't REQUIRED after all, so as long as she had her high school diploma, no one would bother them about it. It had caused quite the stir in Seb and Wanda's neighborhood when the news that their adopted Chinese daughter was apparently a genius got around. Miz got a bunch of invitations to various colleges and had wanted to turn them down, what need did she have for school? She knew having a college degree would make it easier to get a job but...she wasn't really planning to do that. She wanted to help raise the twins. Maybe after they grew up she might consider it. She didn't want to work for anyone so she didn't need a college degree to impress an employer.

Besides, if all else failed, she'd just create gold and jewelry or something to pawn for cash.

The other passengers on the plane just stared at the little girl engaging in deep scientific discussion with a man who looked like a college professor and wondered what was happening.

It was a quiet trip. Miz eventually fell asleep, leaning against Ford's side as he wrapped an arm protectively around her.

-.-

Stanley was at the airport waiting for his family to arrive. The summer was finally starting and he couldn't wait to see his family again. Carla's arm was tired of holding the cardboard. "Are you sure they were arriving at this hour?"

"They left in the morning so they should be here by now…" Stan groaned. Dillon stayed at home with Diego. They had better cleaned up their rooms...

"Stanley Pines!"

"Oh fuck." They muttered before some people with cameras and microphones approached. Sometimes it sucked being a famous sports star and businessman who had the added mystery of having disappeared for 13 years. Even though it's been 5 years since then, they still wanted to hear about his life.

His cool ass lie wasn't enough for them! They were so insufferable. "Who are you waiting for, Stanley?" One of the reporters asked. "My brothers." Stan deadpanned. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

"Your birthday is in a few days? What are you planning?"

"Carla, are you and your husband doing anything special?"

"Can you tell us what you're planning next?" One of them asked. Not only was Stanley a subject to talk about in the sports world, Carla was quite well known for her work on Broadway.

Ugh. They didn't ask for this. The couple sighed. Maybe he should have worn a disguise? The voice over the loudspeakers announced the plane was landing. Oh thank god. Stan tried to ignore the paparazzi. The sooner he met up with Seb and Ford, the sooner they could leave.

Seeing Stan and Carla weren't moving away, the paparazzi continued pressing, taking advantage of their situation. Stan was asked a few things, he responded to the easiest ones, like the incoming games and stuff like that. No comments about his kids, or Dillon's graduation, which they had also assaulted them about, or his brothers' private lives. They had been on the news for a while, getting them involved again would be a dick move. They should give their own info themselves! Well, Stan managed to charm the subject away from his brothers as he regaled the paparazzi with stories.

Zoe slowly opened her eyes. Disappointed at herself for falling asleep. She wanted to watch the whole plane ride! She lifted her head from Daddy's shoulder and yawned, hearing a muffled voice saying they were about to descend...whatever that means. She yawned and suddenly whimpered, feeling super weird. She couldn't hear that well and there was an annoying sound- her ears popped at the sudden movement of the plane and she started crying when her ears continued ringing louder, hurting. "Daaddd!" The little girl wailed. Seb woke up startled and held his upset daughter, cradling her to his chest, as he held back his own cries when his ears popped. Fuck that shit hurt!

Wanda was sitting behind him and the two were still passed out, Zach leaning against Wanda and sucking his finger. "Shh, it'll be ok…" Seb whispered as the plane reached the landing track. God, he hated planes. Zoe wiped her tears and looked out of the window as the plane jumped and moved super fast. It...it actually looked really cool...When they returned home, she wouldn't fall asleep so she could see how the plane leaves the ground. Her pain was long forgotten.

Miz jumped when the plane landed and Ford woke up startled when she clung tighter to him. He looked around and looked out of the window. "We are here…" He pet her long hair. They got out of the plane, each twin holding a cage for each plantimal while Ford held Miz's hand, and Zoe gasped when she found herself looking down at huge stairs. The wind was blowing wildly on the track and when she looked up, she saw the huge white and blue plane. It was so big! She loved it! She was glad she woke up in time to see it all up close.

Seb carried her and didn't let her go down the stairs herself. It made her pout, but then they were taken to the airport in a cool cart. "We can go to Uncle Fez's house now?" She asked when she was reunited with the rest of her family. "First we need to find our luggage, Zoe." Ford smiled slightly at the skipping girl. "We can't leave without them."

The twins squealed when they saw the funny looking carousels where luggage started appearing. They didn't get to really explore the airport during their trip to Los Angeles, so they wanted to do that now. Seb looked around. "Where do we go to find our bags?" The adults got distracted and the mischievous twins escaped from their grip to play. Miz went after them, not wanting anything to happen to them in this place with so many people. Too many people. Too many strangers. All those thoughts and emotions crammed into a small space. So much irritation, anger, impatience, worry, stress…

Miz whimpered and started blocking them out. But she shouldn't block them out because she needed to sense their intentions in case someone bad was here. She had to keep the twins safe. She ran after them and whimpered at the forming headache. Just like the last time she'd been at the airport. "Guys! Slow down!" She caught up to the twins, it was so much harder to do stuff without her powers, and scooped the two up, one under each arm before they managed to climb into the turning carousel. "What did mom and Seb say about running off?!" She scolded.

They wilted. Right. They were supposed to stay close to mommy and daddy or else bad people might try to take them away. "B-but you're here." Zoe protested. Miz put the twins back on the ground but held onto their hands. "Well what if a bad person tries to take me away?" She asked them as she led them back to the luggage area where Wanda had noticed all three children missing and was panicking. Zach held the little cage with Queen Flutter a bit closer to him. "Then we will stop them!" he said. Miz sighed. "But you won't be able to use your powers here. Too many people...and cameras."

She hated that. She hated having to hold back her powers. The massive headache didn't help her mood. She narrowed her telepathic range through sheer concentration and groaned in relief. Too many people. If there was one huge stand out between humans and the various alien species she's met, humans had higher population count. There were just...so MANY of them. Most of the planets she's been to weren't able to support this much life. Or have species living in such close proximity to each other in such a small space.

"Oh thank god!" Wanda spotted Miz leading the twins back and ran up to hug them. "What did I say about running off? I was so worried!"

"That we shouldn't…" Zoe mumbled guiltily. "But, Sir Bedazzle wanted to see around!" She lied, showing her mom the cage. Wanda scowled. "This is not funny, Zoe." She grabbed the twins' hands and handed Zoe to Seb who was grabbing their last bag. "Take care of your daughter." She muttered before grabbing one of their waiting bags and walking to the exit with Zach, who looked guilty. Miz whined at the pain and walked towards Seb. Zoe was placed on her dad's shoulders with a sigh. "Don't make mommy and daddy worry like that." Seb scolded the toddler. "I know you can behave better. You are the stronger twin and it's your job to keep your brother safe, right Fordsie?"

Ford looked down at Miz who wanted to be picked up as well and he sighed. He lifted the girl up and carried her so she could lay her throbbing head on his shoulder. Ahh~ much better. "Sebastian is right, Zoe. You must give Zach a good example. Like I always did but none of my brothers listened to me." He sighed in mock disappointment.

Seb punched his shoulder and the two trotted towards the exit to find Wanda. They found her looking around for Stan and Carla. There were lots of people holding cardboards with names or offering them a taxi, but Seb grinned when he spotted them surrounded by cameras and paparazzi. "Ah, there they are!" He walked towards them as Wanda and Ford shared a look.

"Please, for the last time!" Stan groaned. "Just lea-"

"Hey, Fez!" The hungry eyes of the reporters turned around and smiled when they saw one of Stan's triplets walking towards them. As hungry animals, the cameramen and paparazzi ran towards the grinning man and little girl. "Sebastian! Why are you visiting?" "What are you wearing? Did you design it? Who is that? Your daughter?"

Wanda and Ford hung back and sighed. Was there a way to sneak over without being seen? Ford nudged Miz. "Hey. Can you put up a perception filter?" The girl groaned softly but nodded, keeping her eyes closed. Too many emotions everywhere. She sent a weak pulse of her power out around them and gave a weak thumb's up when she felt the filter block them from anyone who wasn't of Pine's blood or married into the family. That was a decent parameter for this. Ford looked at the girl hugging him. "Are you ok?" Wanda touched her forehead. "Do you feel sick, sweetie?"

Miz shook her head. "Can we leave soon...the emotions overwhelm me…" She whispered and they nodded. They managed to cross the crowd to meet with Carla who was busy watching Seb and Zoe smugly grin and pose for the cameras. They were so alike it was annoying. Wanda hugged her sister-in law and Zach gave his aunt a little kiss. Stan was saved and pulled towards them. "Heya, Sixer! Oh! Miz also came!" He grinned and hugged his older brother. "Hello, Stan." Ford smiled. "We noticed the reporters followed you here."

"Ugh. Yeah. It happens sometimes." Stan blinked when he realized all the reporters had turned away from him. "What the? I know Seb's living it up for the cameras but how did he get ALL their attention?" Ford and Wanda laughed. "Well, my dear daughter put up a...what did you call it? Perception filter?" Wanda looked at Ford for confirmation. He nodded. "Yes. It's good to see it worked."

Stan blinked. Then did a double take. "Wait, DAUGHTER?!" He cried. Ford blinked. He'd missed that part of Wanda's statement. "You adopted Miz? Officially?" He gasped. Wanda smiled proudly and held Zach's hand tighter when she felt him trying to escape. "Yup! Like, a few months ago! She's my baby now." Carla cooed and congratulated Wanda as Stan made a disturbed expression. Miz was their daughter, she was MORE than dating Ford, and Seb hadn't killed him yet? Wow. Surprising self control!

"We can talk more about this at home?" Carla asked. "We left the kids alone at home." She pouted a bit. She was worried about Diego mainly, Dillon was more than old enough. It should be fine but sometimes Dillon couldn't keep his baby brother under control. "But how do we get Seb and Zoe away from them?" Ford wondered aloud. Miz mumbled "Distract them with something else...once he leaves their line of sight…"

"So...like...hey Seb!" Stan called out. "Tell them that you need to find Wanda, and then point towards somewhere away from us."

Seb looked at them plotting and rolled his eye. Killjoys. He coughed. "Well, I have lost my wife around here, so I need to go find he-Oh my god! There she is!" He squealed and pointed away from his family, just like he was told to. The people gushed and looked around so Seb snuck away from them and went towards his family. When the paparazzi looked back at him, he was gone. Seb put Zoe on the ground and laughed. "You never let me have my fun!"

"Yeah! We were being famous!" Zoe giggled and tried climbing on her Uncle Stan, who easily picked her up. "We can go now!" The middle triplet exclaimed relieved. "You made us wait for you for hours !"

"Not my fault the plane was delayed." Seb groaned, rolling his neck to get the cricks out. "Man, I can't wait to sleep on a real bed!" The group headed off, leaving behind a thoroughly confused group of reporters who suddenly realized they had lost track of Stanley as well. Carla looked at them in wonder. "This is so useful. How'd you do this?"

""Magic."" Everyone else responded. A perk of being friends with an all powerful demon god.

"Can you teach us?" Carla smiled widely at them. Seb laughed. "Sorry, Flower, I don't do that, you'll have to ask Miz, but mere mortals aren't able to hold the powers we have." He stuck his tongue out.

"Oh, shut up." Carla rolled her eyes. Miz mumbled. "I can teach you how to make runic spells that ward off attention…" Seb blinked at her. Really? He didn't know about that.

They went to the parking lot where the van Stan rented was waiting for them. He helped them put the luggage in the trunk with ease and then, after complaining about how expensive the ticket was, he drove off. The twins sat on their parents' laps and looked out at the city. The plantimals were in their cages, they wouldn't be released until it was totally safe. "Mom is going to the house as well, she'll be happy to see you two idiots...and Shermie, eventually, he gets here tomorrow." Stan informed them as he drove. "Hey Sixer, how's the Mystery Shack going? I invest in your place to keep that money making tourist trap running!" He laughed and Seb grinned at Ford's pouting face. Stan had fallen in love with the Shack the moment he saw it, Seb remembered how he even acted as Mr. Mystery a few times. It was so fun.

"It's fine, people still fall for fake attractions...I thought you would ask me about my research." Their oldest brother replied, mildly offended. Stan laughed. "I would but I'm not interested in nerd shit." Ford pouted even harder as the other adults laughed at him. Well, at least Miz appreciated his 'nerd shit'.

Miz tiredly looked at the twins. "Don't repeat that word until you're teens." She warned and they shrugged. They didn't know what it meant anyway. The triplets talked happily. They had missed each other a lot. Their birthday was in a few days and they didn't want to admit they were kind of excited. Men in their forties weren't supposed to be excited for their own birthdays.

Finally, Stan pulled over at his house where he saw Dillon opening the door for a tall old woman. "Ah, just in time." He grinned as the car stopped."Ma!" Seb gave Zoe to Wanda as he got out of the car. The man's shout startled the woman who turned around and smiled widely. "Sebas!" Seb laughed and picked her up before hugging her gently. He missed his mother.

Kari laughed. "How's my little man?" Seb placed her down gently. "I'm not little." He protested. Kari poked his nose. "Of course not. You're a big boy now~" She teased. "Now where are my grandbabies?" She looked around as Wanda released the twins, who ran up to hug Kari's legs. "Hi granny Kari!"

"Oh, you two are so, so big!" She exclaimed and, with a little bit of effort, picked up Zach. "I missed you so much! I am so sorry I wasn't at your birthday." She rubbed noses with Zach and placed him down. "It's ok, granny!" Zach smiled. "We understand!"

"But we missed you too!" Zoe hugged her leg as tight as she could. She wouldn't let go. As Ford and Stan got the bags out, complaining about Seb not helping, Wanda walked towards her mother-in-law. "Hi, Kari." She smiled and Kari smiled. "Oh! Oh! Come here, my dear girl!" She hugged the shorter woman. She loved both her daughters-in law, but Kari loved Wanda for making her son so happy after what he went through. She was glad Wanda appeared in Sebastian's life.

"Look Ma! I brought you the other one too!" Stan called, punching Stanford's arm. The poor scientist oof'ed. That punch, compared to the one Seb gave him, hurt. Miz clung to Ford's leg at the sight of the stranger. Well, the triplet's Mom wasn't a 'stranger', but Miz didn't know her personally, even if she Saw stuff about Kari. But Sebastian adored her! So she was 'safe'. And more than that, she was a 'mom'. Miz peeked out and Kari's eyes zeroed in on her. "Stanford Pines! Did you finally get me a grandchild?!" She squealed in glee. Ford twitched. "N-No! I-I mean, this is Miz, she's Wanda and Seb's newly adopted daughter…" He said awkwardly.

Kari was disappointed when Ford said this cute little girl wasn't his daughter (and frankly, she was too old for Ford to have suddenly produced a daughter, but one could hope and dream) but she turned to grin at Wanda. "Oh! You adopted a child?" Wanda nodded. "Miz was friends with Sebastian and...due to some circumstances, she started living with us and eventually we decided to take her in for real." Kari nodded and crouched to look at the girl. "Hi, Miz, I'm Kari, I'm Sebas' Mom…" She held out a hand calmly, not reaching for her, the child seemed shy.

Miz nodded with a small smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Kari…" She took the woman's hand and shook it. She came out from behind Ford. Kari seemed like a nice person. Well, she HAS to be a nice person. She raised Seb after all. Unlike her horrid husband. The twins came over to hug Miz. "You'll love granny Kari." Zoe said. "She's really nice." Miz smiled. "I know." From what she's Seen, this woman was someone who would fight for her children now. Because she wasn't afraid anymore.

"She is really pretty." Kari told her second youngest son and his wife. Then she looked at Ford once again. "But I still want a grandchild from you!" She said sternly. Ford groaned loudly as Stan and Seb snickered. "Mom, I told you I don't want to have kids." Ford deadpanned. Kari looked at the kids. "Would you want to have a new cousin?"

"Yes!" the twins cheered. Miz giggled behind her hand. Kari turned back to Ford. "You don't even need to marry a girl...or a boy, if that's what you're into, I won't judge…"

"Mother!?" Ford sputtered.

"...but I'm sure you can adopt a child too." Kari sighed. "I just want to know you won't be alone." She hugged him, her head only coming up to his chin. "I worry about you being sequestered away in your lab all the time." Ford rolled his eyes. "A child would get in the way of my work. I have many experiments that require my attention throughout the whole day and it would be irresponsible for me to have a child and be unable to care for them."

Everyone sighed. Of course. His work was more important. Miz spoke up "There's nothing wrong with wanting to focus on your work and career." Ford ruffled her hair. "Thanks for understanding, Miz."

"Well, let's not stay outside!" Dillon called from the entrance with a grin, his slightly tanned skin making his white grin even whiter. Kari walked towards her oldest grandkid and kissed his cheek before going inside. The triplets grabbed their bags and luggage before following Stan inside. Diego came running down and into the hall. "Guys!" He squealed at his twin cousins. He ran towards them for a hug. "Come on, let's go play in my room!"

"Hey squirt! Say hi to your uncles and aunt first!" Stan barked. Diego moaned and quickly hugged Uncle Seb, Ford, aunt Wanda, Granny Kari, Miz, and then took the twins upstairs, but not before releasing Sir Bedazzle and Queen Flutter. "We have a new pet!" Zoe exclaimed as they ran to their cousin's room.

Stan sighed. "I'll make sure the doors are closed…" He walked away and Carla smiled. "Come, I'll show you your rooms! The hotel in New Jersey is already reserved so we just need to go in a few weeks, pay and enjoy!"

"Thanks, Flower." Seb grinned. They all followed her upstairs while they chatted about how they have been doing. Kari sighed. "And I'm guessing Ford still hasn't found anyone. Really dear, you're quite lucky your brothers have all given me grandchildren or I would be nagging you more about this." Everyone was sweating nervously and kept quiet that Ford was...dating Seb and Wanda's adopted daughter...because that was pretty messed up if they thought about it that way… so, just accept that life was weird and being in a relationship with a shapeshifting demon god was weird and just go with that.

They all looked at each other and in unison, decided not to bring that up and hoped Ford wouldn't bring it up either. Miz wasn't paying attention as she looked around the house, already burning small triangles into hard to notice places as she went. She did this around Ford's lab as well. There were already PLENTY of triangles in Gravity Falls but more was always good. She wanted to keep an eye on Stan's family to make sure they stayed safe. Speaking of safe, Miz noted that Dillon (and little Diego) apparently had a live in bodyguard called Sasha who was also…

"A battle maid…" Miz whispered in awe. That was… AMAZING!

Carla took them upstairs and showed them to their rooms. Ford's was the smallest but it was ok because he was alone. The twins would share with Diego, Seb and Wanda got their own, Shermie and Abi another, and Mabel and Dipper would sleep with Dillon. Miz looked over at Ford "So are we sharing your room?" Ford considered that. "Yes, I suppose we will. All the other rooms are too full." All the adults aside from Kari made coughing sounds. Kari just thought it was adorable how Seb's adopted daughter liked her eldest son son much. It made her glad. She saw how Miz had been holding Ford's hand earlier.

Stan also officially introduced Sasha to his brother's family. "If you can, protect Sebastian's kids too, like last time." Stan told her. Sasha nodded. More children to add to the list. She almost got a heart attack with the twins last time. She glanced over at the eldest girl, who was staring at her with sparkling eyes. "Um…" Sasha wasn't sure how to feel. The little girl was whispering, "Battle maid, battle maid, battle maid-" under her breath.

Sasha was saved by the children coming back into the room. They were followed by these strange… animals? "Oh yeah, these are their pets. Don't think too hard about it." Stan waved off. Zoe started screaming. "I WANNA GO TO THE POOL!" She squealed and pulled her mommy's hand. "Bathsuit! Bathsuit!" Wanda looked over at Carla and the other woman nodded. "It's a hot day, why don't we all go swimming?" The children cheered.

The twins searched for their clothes in their bags and started throwing the clothes all over the ground. Seb lifted them up and put them under his arms. "Don't do thaaaattt! Do you know how long it took me to pack?!" He growled playfully and took them to their room to change them. Wanda picked up the discarded clothes and followed her family. "We will meet you there."

Zoe put on her blue and green swimsuit and sat down impatiently to get her hair tied up by her mommy. Seb bit his lip. How could he be so stupid to forget about Zach? Was it correct to let him go shirtless? (Seb never did). Should he wear a swimsuit like Zoe? To be honest, no one would be able to tell the difference...but...it worried him. He looked at Zach sitting on the bed and waiting patiently.

Miz came into the room. She didn't have any clothes since she simply shapeshifted her clothes. She looked over at Seb's panicked, worried face and how he was staring at Zach. Oh. Right. She sighed and walked over. "It's fine. He's 5 years old. Besides, the whole 'Only boys can be shirtless' thing is bullshit. Just ask him what he wants to wear."

Seb nodded slowly. "Zach." He knelt in front of his little baby. "What do you want to wear for the pool?"

"Like Diego. He has a SpiderMan swim trunks!" He smiled. Seb smiled back. He had an idea. He extended his right hand in flames. "Alright...How about I get you cool Spider Man swim trunks too...but you wear a shirt like Dad?" He never took his shirt off anyway. So it's not weird if Zach wears his shirt like his dad does, right?

"No. That's silly!" Zach giggled at him and Seb pouted. The flames disappeared for a second. "Alright...then, you give Dad a kiss?" He still needed to change the swimsuit to trunks. Ok!" Zach shook his hand and kissed his cheek. Seb went to look for the swimsuit and when he held it, the garment started changing and transmuting. Hehe, he still got it… He gave the shorts to Zach and he went to the bathroom to change. He wasn't like Zoe who changed anywhere.

Seb sat down on the bed and watched Zoe escape the room with her face and arms covered in sunscreen. "So, Zach called me silly for wearing a shirt to the pool…" Miz and Wanda laughed. "Well, most men don't. No offence Seb." Wanda said. "You just happen to be very shy about your body." Seb pouted. He still had his zodiac on his back. He didn't hate it as much as he used to but it was still...not something he liked to let people see. Wanda patted his back. "It's fine. Who cares what anyone else thinks. If you want to wear a shirt, you can wear a shirt."

Zach came out, proudly shirtless and ran for the door. Wanda grabbed him before he could get far. "Sunscreen first." she said, motioning to the windows. They might block the UV rays but she still worried. He whined but held still as Wanda covered him. The instant she was done, he was off, running downstairs chanting "Pool! Pool! Pool!" Wanda shook her head fondly. "Well I'm going to get changed too." She went off to the bathroom, leaving Seb and Miz on the bed. Seb sighed. Miz patted his arm. "What's wrong?"

"Am I...getting worried for nothing? I know it's bullshit that only men can be shirtless...but, when he grows up? He won't be able to do it...and he will feel bad…" Seb rubbed his arm. "I thought getting him used to wearing a shirt would make it normal for him, even if he grows up and still considers himself a boy...it would be…'normal."" He made quotation marks.

Miz sighed. "Look, once he's older and can make a real decision, I can shapeshift him...if he wants me to."

"Right...right…" Seb mumbled. "I still get worried, I can't help it."

"I know." Miz grinned. "You're a mama hen." Wanda came out of the bathroom with her swimsuit and shorts. "Now go change your clothes to go to the pool!" Miz pushed him to stand up. She went up to a mirror to change her own clothes, her simple tshirt and pants turning into a cute one piece with ruffles around the chest and hips. She skipped out of the room, she didn't need sunscreen! HA!

Wanda still wanted to feel like a mother for her and caught Miz in the hallway. "Kari will ask why you don't wear sunscreen, and Seb and I are your parents~" She grinned as she applied the white substance on her face. Miz pouted. It made her skin feel sticky and she didn't like it. But she let Wanda put it on her and ran off as soon as she was done. Miz passed by Ford's room and noticed he was sitting at the desk, fully dressed. "Ford~aren't you gonna come swim too?"

Ford grunted as he wrote out some equations in his journal. Miz narrowed her eyes. She flicked her fingers and Ford yelped as his clothes swapped out with the swim trunks he had packed. Ford blinked down at himself while Miz blinked at him. "...you're a lot hairier than I thought." It looked to be mostly along his chest, legs and arms. It was also really curly. She went up and started petting his arm hair. Teehee. It felt funny. She liked the texture. Ford grumbled as Miz pulled at his arm. "What are you doing?"

"I'm seeing how springy your body hair is." Miz replied. She pulled a strand straight and let go to watch it spring back into a curl. This was hilarious. "I've never seen you without your turtleneck before…" She looked up and saw his star tattoo. She snorted with laughter before she could stop herself.

"Ok, that's enough." Ford gently pushed her away and went to look into his bag for another shirt. Miz giggled and sat on his bed. "It's not my fault you got that tattoo, but I'm glad you did, I like it~" she teased. "Stop…" Ford groaned and put on another turtleneck. Who the heck brought turtlenecks to their SUMMER vacation?!

Miz stared at him deadpan. "How are you going to swim with a turtleneck on?"

"I will not." Ford replied easily. "What?!" The demon shrieked and he rolled his eyes. "I have work...and I don't want to swim."

"If it was with strangers, I would understand, but your family is downstairs! Go down and spend time with them! Human life is short and you should spend it with people you love!" Miz pulled at Ford's hand, dragging him out of his room. "But-"

"No! No buts! You don't even have to swim! Just talk, maybe eat snacks, or hang out with them. Be in the same general area as everyone! You can bring your journal with you. Don't hole yourself away in your room!" Miz pulled at him. Ford sighed and gave in, as long as he could bring his journal with him, he didn't mind, letting the small girl drag him down the stairs and to where the pool was. Seb and Wanda were already there along with Kari, Stan and Carla. The children were in the pool, splashing around in the shallow end. Stan was getting on the diving board on the deep end. "Watch out~for the STANonball!" He cheered before jumping down in a cannonball. The splash sent water spraying everywhere as the children laughed and Carla groaned loudly. "You can't just add your name to everything!"

Miz grinned at that perfect opener. "Why not? You can't STANd it?" Carla turned to stare at Miz in utter horror. "No. There's two of them now!" Seb was dying in his pool chair. Miz grinned wickedly "Well, if you're not a fan of this sort of thing, I can underSTANd. Not everyone can handle such puns."

Carla covered her ears. "Please stop~"

Miz opened her mouth but Ford covered her face. "Don't be cruel. Carla is our host and we shouldn't upset her-" He admonished. Carla sighed in relief. "-there is a STANdard of behavior used in polite society." Ford finished with a grin directed to his sister-in law. See? He could hang out and joke too! He didn't...hole himself all the time!

Carla screamed and pushed Ford and Miz into the pool.

The two screamed as they splashed in and Sebastian fell from his chair due to how hard he was laughing. The twins and Diego swam towards the fallen duo and poked them. "Uncle Ford, you can't swim with this shirt, it's too heavy!" Zoe informed him as he and Miz came to the surface, coughing and trembling. She poked his side and Ford made a squeak before he tried getting out of the pool. Seb used his powers and kept him in. "Stay~"

Stan quietly, like a shark, sneaked up from behind and grabbed Ford. The oldest triplet, who lost his glasses during the fall, gasped for air before he was captured and brought underwater.

Diego cheered for his dad and the twins watched in confusion. "Will Uncle Stan kill Uncle Fordsie?" Zach asked. Miz managed to crawl out and sat on the border of the pool. "Don't know." She shrugged. After almost a minute of worrying, the Stans broke the surface with a loud gasp, but Stan had managed to take off Ford's turtleneck and was waving it like a trophy. "HAHA! YEAH!"

"Stanley! Give that back right now!" Ford grabbed for his shirt but Stan laughed and threw it out of the pool. It landed with a wet SPLAT on the tiled ground. "You can't swim with that thing on." Stan grinned. Ford sighed. "I wasn't even planning to swim…"

"What?!" His little niblings questioned. "But everyone is here having fun!" Zoe pouted. "You don't want to have fun with us?" Diego sniffed. Ford paled. He couldn't see shit, but those little silhouettes looked really sad. "Great job making our kids sad!" Seb complained at him. Wanda looked at Dillon pleadingly and the teen lifted the chair and threw his uncle into the water. The Stans screamed as Seb fell over them with a loud splash.

Kari laid down in the now empty chair and put on her sunglasses. Ah~it was nice having her family together. She couldn't wait for Shermie and his family to arrive tomorrow.

The day passed almost too fast for them. Soon it was time for bed and everyone retired to their rooms. Stan and Seb pulled Ford aside and told him he wasn't allowed to do any 'sessions' with Miz while they were here. Ford nodded. Of course not. What kind of man did they take him for? So he changed into his pajamas and crawled into bed with an exhausted sigh. Miz was snuggled into the sheets beside him. She seemed to have passed out the second her head hit the pillow. Oh right, didn't Sebastian mention something about Miz going home to her own dimension while her vessel in this dimension slept?

He reached out to brush her hair from her face, she had rolled around a bit and was getting close to the edge of the bed. The idea that Bill/Miz had set up this permanent connection between their worlds because she wanted to stay with them was very...humbling to know. Ford also dearly wanted to learn more about this connection. How did she manage to link their dimensions without a portal? He sighed. He could think about this tomorrow. He was tired. His brothers had cruelly kept him away from coffee all day. Ford relaxed on the bed and let his eyes slip shut, pulling Miz closer to him before he fell asleep.

It was early in the morning, around 7am, when the doorbell rang. Stan was kicked out of bed with an "It's your brother." so he went down the elevator and opened the door for his exhausted younger brother and family. "Looking nice." He teased before yawning.

"Oh shut up, the flight was at 1am." Dipper grumpily pouted and walked inside. Mabel yawned as well and threw herself onto the couch as soon as the elevator opened into Stan's penthouse. "You can go to the beds...upstairs..." The tired family of four passed out. "...Or not. Ok, see ya later then." Stan went back to sleep.

At 11am, the Pines managed to function correctly and could celebrate the arrival of Shermie and his family. "Diegoooo!" Mabel squealed. Said boy screamed and went to hide from his crazy cousin. Mabel laughed maniacally as she cornered him, her hands making pinching motions. "There's no escaping from my LOVE!"

Diego screamed one last time before his saviors appeared. Zoe and Zach stood in front of him and with their hands stretched they lifted Mabel into the air. "Get your ugly love away from our best friend cousin!" Zoe ordered and they made her float back. "Uncle Shermie, Mabel needs time out because she is bothering Diego!" Zach informed his youngest uncle as they put Mabel next to him.

Dipper snorted with laughter. Served her right.

"Ok, ok, I'll ground her." Shermie nodded and the kids left satisfied, glad there would be justice. The green-eyed man sighed. "Don't bother your cousin, he's five."

"But he is so adorable!" Mabel insisted. Her mom shook her head. "Mabel please, sweetie." Dipper grinned at her and made a mocking face. Mabel stuck her tongue out. "Jerk!" The older set of twins made various faces at each other. Seb and Wanda came down and laughed at them. "Pinetree, if you make that face for too long, it's gonna get stuck like that." Seb said ominously.

Mabel gasped. "Dipper would look more dumb than usual!" She put her hand on each of her cheeks in surprise and Dipper groaned. "Stop picking on me!" He whined. Seb grinned at his niblings. They had grown up but they were still the same...

Wanda looked around. "Strange. Miz is usually awake by now." Seb frowned. "Right. Ford never oversleeps." The guy hated sleeping, he was crazy. "I'll wake them up." he offered and ran upstairs. He stood behind the door and took a deep breath. Ok, he will trust he wouldn't see anything traumatizing inside…

He knocked, just in case. "Sixer? Miz?" No response. "Alright...I'm coming in." He opened the door, bracing himself for the worst...and blinked in surprise. They were sleeping together but…

Ford laid on his back, expression slack and peaceful. Miz was laying on her front on top of Ford's chest, head tucked under his chin and a faint smile on her lips. One of Ford's hands was on her back and their blanket had been half kicked off, not that it would be a problem, Seb knew from personal experience that Miz was like a hot water bottle. He watched for a bit before pulling out his phone and snapping a picture. It was too cute to pass up.

He decided to let them sleep in, closing the door softly and heading back downstairs.

"They're still tired." Seb informed Wanda, showed her the photo and his wife squealed. He was glad Ford was sleeping. From what Miz told him, the idiot could go days without sleeping or eating if he got really into a project.

Seb huffed. Sure. Ford neglected his needs in the name of science and he was fine! But Seb had neglected it because he didn't have money to eat and his weak ass teenage body passed out on him and gave him anemia. He didn't realize he was thinking aloud. "Well, Ford at least eats SOMETHING! You simply didn't eat at all and you were a teen." Wanda frowned. Those were dark times she hoped they'd never repeat.

Seb yelped when he was almost tackled down. He looked up and Mabel was laughing, clinging to his back. "Hey Uncle Seb! Aunt Carla told me you went into the water again! I am so, so proud of you getting over your fears!" She said and Seb grunted when his back protested a bit. He could carry Miz and the twins, but Mabel was much heavier now, even if she was thin. "To be honest, they threw me in...pumpkin, you're going to break me! Get off!" He complained.

"Nope! Can we have breakfast? The little sandwich from the plane was horrible!" She stuck her tongue out. Dipper yawned and nodded from the couch, he was on his phone. "Uh huh. Horrible."

Stan also came in and Mabel released her poor Uncle. "Aaww! I love it when we are all together like a huge family! I brought different colorful sweaters! Look!" She untied the sweater from her waist and put it on. It was a loose sweater crop top this time, with a U neckline. It was a sweater more suitable for the warmer weather of the city and for her age, but the green sweater still had kittens and words that read PAWESOME!

"Looks great, sweetie. Well! I'm starving! Why don't we have breakfast?" Stan grinned. "Where are the kids?" Carla asked just as they heard laughter and a splash.

"POOL!"

They set the table in the dining room, one for the adults, another one outside near the pool they called the "cousins table". Dipper knew it was just the kids table. Mabel, him and Dillon, eventually the twins and Diego, had always been excluded from the huge, adult table. Even now that they were 18 and technically adults under the law, they still refused to change their outdated laws.

Diego, Zach and Zoe were all wet when they sat down to eat. Sir Bedazzle was paddling in the pool as Queen Flutter (?) rested on a pizza float in the pool. Mabel squealed when she realized there were two animals now. "AUUUGH~you guys are sooo lucky!"

Dipper wondered where Uncle Ford was. He knew he had come, but he hasn't come down yet. He looked around. "Hey, where's uncle Ford?" He asked. Seb responded as he helped out with making breakfast. "He's still asleep. Let him sleep in, that guy doesn't get enough of it."

"Ford? Sleeping?" Dillon raised an eyebrow. "You sure he isn't unconscious or something?" He gasped dramatically. "Is he breathing?!"

"Calm down, kid, he is breathing, I checked up on him myself." Seb smiled. "He is just tired, as wild as that sounds."

"Heeyyy!" Mabel grinned. "What will we get for our birthday?"

"Pardon?" Seb looked at her and she grinned.

"Mabel, you have to give your uncles presents. Their birthday is tomorrow." Abigail rolled her eyes.

"Alright, I can buy you something this summer…" Seb shrugged. Mabel hugged him. "You know what I would really like~?" she sang. Seb raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"A plantimal!" Mabel squealed. She pointed at Queen Flutter who was swishing her tail and sort of flying over to inspect Diego. "I want one!" She begged. Shermie groaned. "The pig was bad enough…"

"Excuse me, Dad, Waddles is the best! But I REALLY want a platimal too!" She pulled her uncle's arm. "Please! I'D GIVE YOU MY BLOOD!" She cried dramatically and Seb cackled. "I guess we could ask Miz to make you one…" Mabel cheered even as Abigail and Shermie groaned. Abigail looked at her husband "Will we even be able to afford to care for another pet?"

"The plantimals are actually pretty easy to care for. Just give them water and sunlight everyday. They don't really poop but they do produce water and sugar...and oxygen of course." Wanda assured her. Mabel was jumping around with joy. "And I won't have to wait for summer, I can get one now right?" She pulled on Seb's arm.

"Well, Miz is still asleep upstairs with Ford so…" Seb started to say but Mabel had run up the stairs. "Hey!" Seb gasped "Don't wake them up!"

Mabel didn't hear though and squealed as she searched for Miz. Abi looked at his groaning and facepalming brother in law. "I am sorry…" She apologized on her daughter's behalf. "Mabel can be really impulsive."

"And crazy! Yeah!" Dipper high-fived Dillon. Seb sighed. He just hoped they were woken up kindly...

Ford was amazed at the wild journey he and Miz had embarked on. She had showed him her dimension, he got to meet Jheselbraum again, although this was a different version of her. He held hands with Miz as she pulled them back home. "This...has been amazing." He grinned. Being able to explore the wonders of space without the stress of fighting to stay alive was...nice. Miz squeezed his hand. "I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for agreeing to help me test if I can bring you guys with me to my dimension. Sorry I didn't take you to meet with my friends again though."

"Of course. It was no problem at all." Ford nodded "I am always willing to help with breakthroughs. This has been an amazing night." He couldn't wait to write this down in his journal. The two came through the dimension door to find themselves in the Mindscape, floating above their bodies.

"Well, it should be about time for me to wake up." Ford smiled as he floated toward his sleeping body. He noted that Miz had somehow ended up on his chest over the night. Did their bodies still move in their sleep despite their souls not being in them? That was a fascinating thing to consider. Just as he was about to fly around Miz to slip back into himself, the door slammed open "MIZ! SEB SAID I CAN HAVE MY OWN PLANTIMAL!"

Ford startled and fell into a body.

Mabel blinked when she saw the position her uncle and Miz were in. Awww~that's so cute. She saw Miz wake up with a gasp and tumble off Ford to lay on her back, staring wide eyed at the ceiling. "Good morning Miz!" Mabel waved.

'Miz' got up and gasped as she stared at her hands and then over at Ford. "Oh shit." 'Ford' stirred and sat up as well. 'Ford' blinked down at her and then at his six-fingered hand. "Are you fucking kidding me…?" 'He' whispered.

'Miz' grimaced, horrified. "I am still dreaming...are we in another dimension?" 'She' asked faintly. 'Ford' laughed, somewhat hysterically "Nope! I think we just came back wrong…" his grin was...unnatural looking, kinda creepy actually. "This might be FUN!" 'Ford' giggled. 'Miz' shook her head. "No it won't be fun! We have to change back right now!"

"Pfth~where's the fun in THAT Fordsie? Come on, I wanna see what it's like to be tall !" he stumbled out of bed and went to stare at his reflection in the mirror, poking his chin and ruffling his hair. 'Miz' however, seemed to be having traumatic flashbacks to the last time a Bill Cipher had possessed Ford's body.

"What the heck is going on?!" Mabel cried, startling the two who hadn't noticed her standing there. She saw her uncle Ford grin at her "Hey Shooting Star! It seems there's been a mix up this morning. HAH!" Mabel flinched at the yellow eyes. "Bill? Or...is that Miz?" She hoped it was Miz.

"It's Miz…" Ford groaned in Miz's high pitched voice. The sight of those yellow eyes was really freaking him out. As well as the fact that his body was being worn by someone else. It was bringing up bad memories. Miz seemed to notice his distress and her smile faded. She sighed and came back to sit on the bed, easily picking Ford up now that he was so small and placing him in her (his own) lap. "Sorry. I forgot that this might not be as fun for you as it is for me. Mental attack?" She mumbled as she hugged him, large arms easily enveloping Ford's current tiny form.

Ford groaned. "It's not your fault. I'm just...I don't like the idea of someone else taking my body to do who knows what to it."

"But...you DO know what I'm doing with it. You're here, watching me. I just...wanted to see what it's like being in you for a bit...you can tell me to stop if I do something you don't want and I promise I won't do anything invasive." Miz assured him.

Ford seemed to consider it. Miz really seemed to want to be in his body...and while she was Bill Cipher, she was good, she was even telling him she would take care of his body… "Ok...but just for a while, then I want my body back." Ford coughed. Damn, he hadn't had a voice this high pitched since he was 12…

Miz grinned widely and hugged Ford tightly. "Ok! Thanks Fordsie!" She looked at Mabel who was staring at them in utter confusion. "You didn't see anything…" She warned. Mabel nodded slowly. "Is this...like that carpet thing?"

"Yup." Miz grinned as she got up, picking up Ford to hug him to her (currently his) chest. Oh~her body was squishy and nice to hug. No wonder all her friends liked to hug her. She hugged Ford closer and grinned when he squeaked. "Come on, Fordsie. Let's see how long it takes for people to notice."

"Considering your eyes are yellow, glowing and slitted, I'd say...like 2 seconds." Mabel commented dryly. So they switched bodies. She shuddered. That had been an awful experience. Dipper's body was so...sweaty.

Miz pouted before she looked down at herself (Ford's body) "I feel weird." She frowned. Her belly hurt. Like it was full. She whined uncomfortably and pressed her legs together. Ford's eyes widened. "Bathroom! Now!"

Mabel's brown eyes widened as well. Yeah...she wasn't staying any longer. "So...tell me when you are back to normal? I want a plantimal…" She mumbled and went downstairs.

Miz stood up and managed to walk, still pressing her legs together. "This is horrible…having a real body is horrible…" she whined. Ford wiggled out of her grip, dropped to the ground and pulled Miz into the bathroom. "Hurry! I don't want you to pee yourself!"

Miz got in front of the toilet and dropped her pants. "How...how do I do this?" She blushed at the sight of...oh my~

Ford blushed as well. He snapped his fingers, not noticing Miz's startled look at the fact that he could. "Concentrate! Just...let it out! I don't know! People usually don't have to explain to others how to do this!"

Miz whined and...let go. Sort of. She quickly noticed she was going to miss the toilet and reached her hands down to...aim better. It was relatively simple after that. She moaned in relief. So THAT was what it felt like to empty a bladder. She had forgotten. It had been much too long. She continued moaning while Ford blushed furiously. "Um...you can let go now." He said quietly.

Miz looked down. "How do I clean it? I'm supposed to wipe it right?" Ford buried his face in his hands and groaned. "Y-yeah...you just…"

As Ford explained how everything worked, Miz couldn't help but stare at it. Her Xin and Jan forms had dicks but they didn't look like this. Probably because they were based off drawings she's seen. Still, she couldn't help prodding at it. It was so funny looking. And big. "Is this really so interesting to you?" Ford groaned, face red. "I haven't felt waste production sensation like this in pretty much forever!" Miz pouted. "It's… weird."

Miz pulled her underwear and pants back on before washing her hands. "You can touch mine if you want." She told him. "I give you permission to explore my body as much as you want. It's only fair." It was just construct after all.

"No. I do not wish to explore your body." Ford sighed. "Let's just please go downstairs." He said and Miz giggled. "Alright!" she flicked her fingers (pouting that she STILL couldn't snap them, how did Ford make this look so easy?!) and changed both their clothes. She dressed herself in the usual collared shirt and pants that Ford liked to favor when NOT in a turtleneck while Ford was now in a cute green sundress with frills and ribbons. Finally, Miz put on a pair of sunglasses. "Ok...how's this? How do I look?"

"...like my father." Ford stared up at her. Miz immediately snatched the sunglasses off and crushed them. "Ok. No sunglasses then."

"But wouldn't people notice you are possessing me?" He sighed awkwardly pulling on the dress Miz put him in. He felt so dumb. Miz hummed, stroking his chin with his six-fingered hand. So cool~ "I...can put up a perception filter!" She grinned and flicked her fingers. "There!" She coughed and made a serious face. "Greetings, family, I am an owl who doesn't like going into the pool." She put her hands behind her back. "Fascinating! I will write it down immediately!"

Ford scowled and smacked her in the stomach, but it didn't hurt Miz at all. "I do not sound like that!" He whined as Miz cackled and wheezed "Try me!"

Ford rolled his eyes. "I will not be playing along with this charade." this was ridiculous.

"But you have to!" Miz insisted. "They will notice!" She hummed. "Imagine you're a character in DD&moreD! You HAVE to stay in character during a game!"

Ford blinked. "You...know about Dungeons, dungeons and more dungeons?"

Miz rolled her eyes. "Of course! My dimension has a similar game with slightly different rules but It's essentially the same thing. I DM for my friends once a week for our games." She grumbled "But they're always more interested in killing all the NPCs instead of following the quest...which is valid I guess, they're free to do what they want and I don't want to railroad them to much…" she trailed off when she saw the wide eyed eager look on Ford's (her own) face. Shit. She looked fucking adorable.

A high pitched squealing sound was coming out of Ford as he bounced in excitement. "You play DD&moreD!" He squealed. Miz blinked. "Um...yes. What's...the problem?"

"Play with me!" Ford grabbed her hand and tugged on it. Miz blinked. "Oh hey. You're in character." She yelped when Ford pulled her out of the bathroom. "We need to get Dipper! We can have a session together!" Ford actually giggled as he bounced merrily down the hall, dragging Miz behind him.

It's been so long since he had played! When was the last time? Oh right, Probabilitor wanted to eat his and Dipper's brains. "Remember to stay in character though!" Miz laughed, loving the deep voice coming out of her, and Ford waved a hand. "Yeah, yeah." He could do that. It was like acting...like a child, and Mabel. He could do it.

He slowed down when he saw his family eating in the dining room. "Hey, you finally woke up!" Stan grinned. "We thought Shooting Star would wake you up, she luckily didn't." Seb looked at Mabel who was on the couch, coughing awkwardly.

"Oh she did. It was quite startling." Miz said with a solemn nod. "Shermie, you should tell your daughter she cannot simply enter someone's room without permission."

"Good job, dumb head!" Dipper teased and poked his sister's cheek. The girl grumbled and hid her head on the cushion. "Don't think I haven't tried…" Shermie mumbled.

Ford squeaked when he was suddenly picked up and sat on a chair. Wanda smiled down at him and kissed his forehead. "How did you sleep sweetie? I made your favorites~" she grinned. Seb laughed. "We made everyone's favorites!" That's what happened when 5 people got to cook breakfast all together.

A HUGE plate of food was pushed in front of Ford. He felt faint just looking at it. Did Miz really eat this much?! For breakfast?! No wonder she was so squishy…

"T-thank you, mom." Ford only stumbled a little as he stared at the stack of pancakes drizzled with syrup, ground beef and onion omelette, a toasted roast beef sandwich and French fries. What kind of breakfast was this?!

Wanda pet his cheek before sitting back on her chair. Seb walked over to Ford. "Are you planning to sit down and eat something more than coffee? I have important news for you, a human body doesn't survive on that!"

Miz grinned, Seb looked so small from this height, and pulled the man to him in a hug. "Thank you, Sebastian." She said as Ford watched them. "You are a great brother! And I appreciate everything you do for me." Seb tensed up at the sudden hug but quickly relaxed and hugged his older brother back. "You-You're welcome, Sixer…" he sniffed and smiled.

Miz patted Seb's hair. "I think I WILL eat food like a proper human being today." She declared before sitting down next to Ford, who kicked her under the table. "What about staying in character?!" He hissed at her quietly. Miz ruffled Ford's hair with a laugh. "Miz and I had a talk this morning about taking better care of myself." She said loudly.

"Aw~that's so sweet." Kari cooed at the girl. It was so cute how close they were. Then again, with Wanda and Seb handling the twins during the trip over, Ford had probably been in charge of little Miz.

Miz filled her plate with some food, feeling slightly jealous that Ford got to have her favorite breakfast stuff. But it was ok. There was a spinach and cheese omelette here that looked good. And plenty of corned beef hash. Ford's eyes widened at the food she piled onto her plate. "You can't eat all that! You're going to make yourself sick!" He hissed quietly.

Miz pouted and sat back down before she could grab more stuff. Everyone else were engaging in conversation so their own whispered discussion was ignored. "But I want to eat~"

"Well, my body isn't used to it." Ford said. He looked longingly at the coffee pot. Wanda had placed a tall glass of Lactose-free milk in front of him. He sighed. Then he grinned. Well, if Miz was going to put all sorts of food inside his body…

He turned to Wanda with a wide eyed pleading look "Mommy? Can I try some coffee?" He bat his eyelashes adorably.

Wanda looked at her and coo'ed. "Are you sure? You usually don't like bitter things."

"I am completely sure! Can I? Sebas?" He pouted. Miz narrowed her eyes at him. Seb patted Ford's head and passed him the coffee. "Ok! But you will finish whatever you serve yourself." He joked. Ford grabbed the coffee, pushed the glass of milk aside and in another cup he poured the warm, bitter bean juice. Ahh~ Morning coffee.

Miz rolled her eyes. How could Ford drink it black? No cream or sugar? Ugh. She took Ford's cup of milk. It would be a waste if no one drank it after all. Seb looked confused that 'Ford' wasn't going for the coffee. "Sixer? Are you...ok? You haven't drank milk since we were...kids."

"I am perfectly fine. I had an incredibly nice rest last night and I don't need to rely on caffeine to function like a human being right now. Besides, I don't want the milk to go to waste." Miz said, licking the milk off her lips.

Stan snickered and Carla hit his arm. "Don't be mean." She said and Kari nodded. "Yes, leave your brother alone, Stanley. Are you really so dependant on caffeine to function, son?" The elderly woman asked. She drank coffee too, but she didn't drink it daily...now.

Miz grinned. "Actually, I do, mother, I overwork myself until I pass out from exhaustion or hunger and I keep my lab a complete mess." She sighed, faking guiltiness. "In fact, there's so much dust that Miz started sneezing and choking when she came over once…"

Ford choked on his coffee and looked at Miz. She didn't! Kari gasped. "That's awful Stanford! You better be shaping up better from now on! That is no way for an adult to live."

Miz grinned in satisfaction as Ford groaned and covered his face. This was so embarrassing. He was getting scolded indirectly! He frowned at his coffee mug. Also, the coffee tasted more bitter than he was used to. He grimaced. He almost wanted to get some sugar. Well, he was in Miz's body and her tastebuds were different.

"And if you can give me grandbabies soon, that's more important!" Kari continued and 'Miz' spat the coffee 'she' was trying to drink. Seb patted her back to help her.

'Ford' sighed. "I am very sorry, mother. I am simply too busy with work." 'he' shook his head sadly. "Besides, I'm incredibly boring and a huge nerd and don't pay attention to the needs of others because I'm too lost in my own thoughts and my ego so it's not like I can find a partner anyway…"

Ford kicked Miz under the table. "That is not true!" Ford argued with his face bright red. Miz patted his head. "I, Stanford Pines, am a huge neeerdd! And I am proud of it and my singleness!" Ford kicked her again, stronger this time. The teens watched the exchange with confused expressions. "Ten bucks that he's drunk." Dillon gave his cousin a bill.

Dipper studied the pair. "Twenty bucks Miz is using magic on him." Mabel covered her face and made a frustrated noise. "25 they switched bodies…" Her awkwardness better served for something. The boys grinned and placed the bets. That was the most absurd thing! Why would they switch bodies? Dipper knew an electron carpet was needed.

"Miz, stop hitting Stanford." Wanda scolded and put her hands on his shoulders. "But are you listening to what he is saying?!" 'Miz' whined.

"We know you like Ford, it's weird hearing him talking bad about himself like that, but he is just joking, aren't you Ford?" Seb looked at his 'brother'. 'Ford' sighed self deprecatingly. "I have been doing a lot of soul searching. Introspective looks on my life and what I have been doing all this time. I know there's nothing wrong with pursuing my career, but blind devotion to my work at the exclusion of my own family and friends isn't healthy and it's about time I made some time for more than just my research."

Stan wiped an unmanly tear from his eye and started clapping. Eventually, his other brothers followed him and everyone ended up clapping and cheering at the man with glasses. "Oh sweetie." Kari hugged her eldest son and 'Ford' hugged her back gently, not without sending 'Miz' a smug grin.

Oh Ford was getting revenge for this. He looked at his coffee and sighed. He was sorry. He spilled it and started shrieking. "Ew! This is horrible! I don't want this!" He shrieked and threw a tantrum. He grabbed the sugar and, like a brat, poured it onto the floor beside the spilled coffee. Sir Bedazzle and Queen Flutter ran towards it to lick the brown substance up.

Seb grimaced. "What the heck?!"

Wanda sighed. "I told you that you wouldn't like it." She picked the girl up and hugged her. "I know you were probably trying to be like a grown up and drink coffee but maybe you should just stick with your usual foods."

Ford struggled against the hug. "Urgh! Let me go, Wanda!" He complained and Miz gasped. She didn't want Wanda to get mad at her. She reached out and picked 'Miz' up. "Come on Miz. You got coffee on your dress. Let's go get you cleaned up." She carried Ford back upstairs. Ford tried to throw the best tantrum he could. It wasn't fair that he could just be carried off without being able to cause more trouble. Curse this tiny body!

"Help me!" He ended up screaming. "Help me please! He-He is crushing me! I-I can't breathe! AGH! AGGHH!" He made choking and crying noises that were heard in the dining room. It had been useful as a kid when he was being bullied. It usually called some grown up attention.

"Shut up!" Miz growled. Ford bit her hand. "Ah!" She dropped him. "Seriously? At least what I did was just pointing out what you do wrong! You're just being a jerk!"

"Well you shouldn't have made those weird speeches!" Ford hissed back. Miz gasped. "I didn't say anything that wasn't true! You're going out and living your life by pushing your family away and isolating yourself!"

"That is not true! I see my family!" Ford growled. "No! You call them! That's not seeing! You have a family that cares for you! And you don't take enough time to talk and be with them now that you are seeing them face to face!" Miz cried.

"Ahem."

The two turned to see the whole family staring at them. Mabel held out her hand. Dillon and Dipper slapped some cash into it. "Can't believe you got it right." Dipper groaned. Wanda sighed. She should have expected this. Miz had seemed so interested in asking her about what it had been like being in Seb's body. Of course she would try it out for herself.

"So. I think you two should switch back now." Wanda said firmly. Kari looked confused, as did most of everyone else. Dipper explained "They switched bodies."

"What?" Abigail looked back and forth between Ford and Miz. "How?"

"""Magic.""" Everyone who lived through Weirdmageddon chorused.

Kari blinked. "So...it was Ford who tossed the coffee and threw a tantrum?" Ford blushed. It had been very embarrassing to do that. But he wanted to make Miz get in trouble.

"Yes." Miz grinned.

"So...it was Miz who said that to me…" Seb rubbed the back of his neck.

Miz waved her hands "But Ford really DOES care about you! He's just too much of a Tsun-Tsun to admit it out loud! So I wanted to let you know…"

"What the heck is a tsun-tsun?!" Seb cried but Wanda looked at 'Ford' sternly. "Miz. Change bodies, now!" Miz groaned loudly. "Ok, ok, mom!" everyone shuddered at how weird that sounded. She grabbed Ford's little hand. "Come on, Fordsie…"

"I don't understand." Abigail pouted. "And I am more lost than you." Kari sighed. Ford and Miz's bodies slumped over for a second before they both stumbled and gasped. "Ugh…" Ford groaned and placed a hand on his stomach. "How much did you eat? I feel bloated…"

"Uwu...you didn't finish eating. And my mouth tastes bitter!" Miz wailed.

"They're back." Dipper nodded.

Seb led Abi and his mom away to explain a few things as Wanda stayed to scold both Miz AND Ford. "But why me?!" Ford complained. "Because you poured the sugar on the floor and the plantimals ate it all!" The blonde glared at her brother-in law. They could hear the high pitched squealing of the severely energized plantimals racing around the kitchen, bumping into things and going absolutely nuts.

The children, wet from being in the pool, tried to catch them and left trails of water everywhere. Zach screamed when he slipped and fell backwards, luckily he wasn't hurt. Ford winced. "Alright...I will admit I wasn't on my best behaviour…" He didn't know what to say. "And I guess I was also trying to tease Sixer a little bit…" Miz scratched her head.

"Should we get a fairy to turn Uncle Ford into a kid again to learn a valuable lesson?" Mabel wondered. Her twin shook his head. "Won't help."

Miz pouted. "But nothing I said was untrue." She insisted. Wanda picked her up in a hug. "I know sweetie. You were just trying to help." Ford frowned. It wasn't fair that she wasn't being scolded as much as he was.

Kari came back over. "Well, even if it wasn't you who said it, Miz is right. You haven't done more than call and while I know it's difficult to travel it would be nice to see you. I'm sure these new fangled phones have a...what was it called?" She asked.

"Face Chat." Mabel answered. Kari nodded. "Yes. That. I would like to see you sometime."

Ford looked down to the floor and nodded. After everything was settled, the huge family went to the living room. the teens were on their phones, the kids got annoyed no one else wanted to go to the pool with them so they changed and now they sat down to play with the plantimals. Ford was twitching. he was sitting here. Doing nothing! Ugh! He couldn't take this anymore! He tried to stand up and go to his room but everyone stopped him if he did so he couldn't. He looked at Miz purring as Wanda stroked her head and sighed. "Miz…"

"Um?" She hummed without opening her eyes. "Can...can we...Remember you said we could play Dungeons, dungeons and more dungeons?" Ford couldn't believe he was saying this, but he was bored! He wanted to do something!

Miz brightened as Dipper looked up too. "Ok. Are you going to be the dungeon master?" She asked. She waved her hand to make the grid paper and divider materialize on the table.

"Woah what? Nerd game?" Stan looked up. "Oohh!" Mabel squealed. "Remember we won, Uncle Stan? Let's play again and beat these nerds!" She pointed at their brothers who were sitting next to Miz. "Oh I am in!" Seb jumped from the couch to high-six Mabel. The twins and Diego peeked up. "We want to play too!" Zach announced. It was a board game! Those were fun! And this one had lots of funny-looking pieces!

Ford sat behind the divider. "This isn't a competition. A true game of DDD is about world building, story telling, choices and consequence. We won't be playing for our brains this time."

Miz held out some blank character sheets. "So~do you guys want to make your characters or do you need some pre-gens?"

Mabel twitched. "I have no idea what any of those words mean." She grinned awkwardly. Dipper groaned. "Pre-gen means pre-generated. Like, a filled out character sheet with all the stats and skills already calculated out. It's generally used for new players who want to jump in and play without having to do all the math first."

Miz held out the papers. "So...these are generally done via Class. So I've got an Archer, Warrior, Thief, Druid, Wizard…"

"Oooh! I want Thief!" Mabel grinned and rubbed her palms together.

The twins and Diego didn't understand but they wanted to play too. Seb grabbed them and sat them on his lap. "We will be the cool Wizards!" He cheered and the twins cheered too. "Diego, do you want to be a Wizard?"

"No…" Diego hummed in thought. He wanted Dad to play too but he didn't like it. He went to sit next to Ford. "I will be your helper, Uncle Ford!" He looked down at the toddler and grinned. "Alright."

"Which type of Wizard? There's Transmutation, Conjuration, Divination, Necromancy…" Miz flipped through the papers.

"Conjuration!" Seb beat the twins on answering. It took a bit of work to get everyone settled down. There were too many of them for everyone to get their own character so a bunch of them teamed up to share a character. Miz frowned. "The largest group I've had to play with was 9 people...and that was hectic enough…"

Ford was looking at Dillon. "Do you know the rules?" The teenager sheepishly shook his head. Ford handed him a thick book. "Ok, here's the rulebook. If someone has a question about spells and stuff, you can look it up for them while I continue with the story."

"I will help too!" Miz said. She sat between Mabel and Wanda. "Ok so first I need to explain what the stats are…"

The Pines listened carefully to Ford and Miz explain as simply as they could for mere mortals. Mabel still thought it was too much math and thinking for a board game, but then again, when they played Capitalism and Idea at home, she made the most elaborate and complex plans to win...so maybe all games had the nerd part in them.

The game took longer than it should have, but they were letting 5 year olds play so it was expected. They wanted to read the spells and count the numbers, just like they were learning. Ford found himself not really caring. He liked to see his niblings enjoy the same games he did.

Carla, Wanda and Kari took photos of the cute moment. Miz smirked and considered this a job well done. Social interaction? Yes!

Shermie, who had been starving (they've been playing for HOURS), ordered WcDonalds and everyone sat in the living room with their food, deeply concentrated on their game. Ford rolled some dice behind his divider so that they couldn't see what he got. He grinned mischievously.

"Sometime in the middle of the night...which one of you is on watch?" Ford asked.

Mabel raised her hand "I was!" Ford nodded. "Well in the middle of your nightwatch, you notice a strange sound. Roll Perception to see if you recognize what it is."

"Which one is that again?" Mabel looked at her paper. Miz pointed. "There, under your Wisdom stat. Perception is one of the abilities affected by your Wisdom stat. It says here you've got a +1 Wisdom and...for your abilities you have...proficiency in Perception so that's an extra +2...meaning you roll the dice and add 3 to your number."

"YIAH!" Mabel rolled the dice dramatically and stuck a few fries on her mouth. The dice stopped. 14. Plus 3 is 17. "Do I see it?! Can I see what it was?!"

"Hm…" Ford looked over his notes. "Sorry. You'll need at least a 20 to identify it. So you continue sitting there, not noticing what it was."

"No!" Mabel groaned and sipped her soda with a pout.

"The night goes on and suddenly…" Diego leaned in and whispered something to him. "Oh, that's nice! A huge spider jumps out of the forest and into the clearing where everyone is asleep except you. Ford laughed evilly. "Everyone roll initiative!"

Seb gave the dice to Zach as everyone else rolled their dice. "Yay! We got 32!" Zoe hugged her twin tightly. Dipper got 25, Mabel 28, Dillon 16 and Miz 34.

"No!" Zach pulled on his curly hair when Miz got a higher number. She cackled. "Clearly I'm the best~"

"Ok...so Miz goes first. Roll...hm...to see if you wake up so you can fight off the spider." Ford grinned. Miz rolled and groaned. "12…" She thumped her head on the table. Ford laughed. "You are still asleep. Ok, team Seb, your turn."

"Go, Zoe, it's your turn." Seb whispered to his daughter. Zoe kissed the dice and threw it. The dice seemed to be about to fall on a low number so Seb moved it with his mind. "One, two, three...24!" Zach cheered.

Diego blew a whistle. "No magic!"

"We didn't! blasphemy! you can't prove it!" Seb accused his nephew. Miz slapped a hand on the table. "Objection! I clearly felt you use magic!"

"Urgh!" Zoe pushed her dad away. "Can we roll it again without Daddy ruining everything?" She made puppy eyes at Ford. He hummed "Alright. But if anymore cheating happens I will make it so your turn gets skipped."

"Ok!" Zoe threw it again, Zach tackled their dad to the floor, and the dice fell on 20. "Yes!" She roared. "We see the horrible beast and we burn it?"

Ford laughed at their eagerness. "Well you wake up, unfortunately, waking up takes up your turn so you won't be able to attack until next round. But at least you're awake enough to defend yourself if the spider attacks...and it's the spider's turn now."

"What?!" Mabel groaned. "The spider rolled higher than me?!"

"Yup. And she's going to...attack…" Ford rolled another dice and winced. "Ooh, Dipper."

"What?! Not fair!" Dipper groaned. Ford rolled again. "Since you're still asleep, you can't defend yourself from the attack." Ford said. Miz objected. "He might roll away in his sleep." Ford sighed. "Fine. I'll roll to hit."

They heard the clattering of his dice. "What's your AC?" He asked. Dipper replied "19."

Ford groaned. "The spider missed." Everyone cheered. Ford grumbled. "You roll out of there in your sleep and the spider bites down but misses you."

"My turn!" Mabel rolled her dice. "28! Ha! I'm up and ready for shanking!" She had been having too much fun with stabbing things throughout the campaign. Dipper picked up his dice to see if he could wake up. "Natural 1?! Ugh! The world hates me!" He complained. The twins and Diego laughed at him.

Ford sighed. "You are dreaming of eating a cheese sandwich but it turns into eyeballs. Take 1 psychic damage for nightmares."

Dipper grumbled as he changed his Health points. "Stupid...unfair...everything is picking on me…" Dillon gave his cousin a comforting pat and rolled his own dice. "25. I'm awake as well."

Ford nodded "Back to the top. Miz, try again." She rolled and cheered "Natural 38!"

"You leap to your feet, wide awake and can even use an action this turn. But you cannot move any squares. Just use an action."

"I use my action to wake up Dipper!" Miz said. Dipper gave her a grateful look. Ford nodded. "You manage to shake Dipper awake. He comes to and sees the giant spider looming over him."

Dipper and Miz high fived each other.

"Seb's team, what are you going to-"

"SET IT ON FIRE!" Zoe screamed. Ford laughed. "Which spell are you using?" Zoe looked at her spell list. "Bo-Bonfire!" She said. Ford nodded. "Which means the spider needs to make a Dexterity saving roll to see if she can dodge the fire." He rolled "I got a 13, plus 3, 16. What's your spell effect score?"

"LET HER DIE!" Father and kids roared. "Our spell defense is 19! HAH!" Sebastian cackled. Ford rolled his eyes. "Roll for damage." The spider ended up taking 18 fire damage. "Now it's the spider's turn. She will attack…" clattering dice "...Dipper again."

"You're targeting me on purpose!" Dipper protested. Everyone laughed and the battle continued. Mabel managed to get a Sneak Attack on the spider while it was distracted attacking Dipper and Dipper was able to fight back and chop off one of it's legs. Finally, Zoe finished it off with another fire spell. Ford made a mental note to attack the party with something that was immune to fire. Seb's team was strong with that.

Shermie was napping with his head on Abi's lap. Wanda, Carla and Stan had gone to buy a few beers and were drinking and laughing outside as their family killed an imaginary spider and celebrated their victory.

"We killed it, Wands!" Seb called from inside the house. Wanda shouted back. "That's great, honey!"

"Killed it!" Zoe and Zach cheered. Ford dolled out the experience points and decided this would be a good place to wrap up. "This has been a good introductory course. Tomorrow we can send you all on a real quest." He spent today letting them wander around freely. It resulted in the party raiding a bandit camp, Mabel stealing everything that wasn't nailed down and Seb's little group of pyromaniacs burning down the entire camp while Miz systematically stripped the clothes off every bandit they defeated, leaving them alive but naked at the edge of the town so they could be arrested. He made them set up camp to sleep for the night to introduce the concept of a Long Rest and doing night watches to warn the party of nighttime ambushes. All in all, he was sure they had learned a lot about how the game worked.

"Woo! We leveled up!" Miz and Dipper cheered. Miz jumped on the tall teenager and hugged him in delight. Dipper blushed.

"Aarghh! I am the spider and I will eat you!" Zoe showed off her little fangs. Diego and Zach ran away screaming as Zoe ran after them laughing madly. "Just don't burn your cousin and brother, Zoe!" Seb warned. As Ford and Miz talked about the second part of the game, Sebas saw his wife and brother come back inside. "Heey! You've been drinking without us?" He pouted. Stan rolled her eyes. "And what did you want us to do while you played? Go to sleep like Sherman?"

"Maybe." Seb mumbled. He couldn't believe the other adults didn't join in. And that they got to drink without him. He pouted. "Is there any left?" He asked. Stan held up a crate with a couple beers. Seb took one delightfully. Miz glanced over "Ooh~what're those~"

"Adult drinks." Seb said simply and bit off the lid of the bottle. It didn't hurt, but a normal person might have hurt themselves. Miz pouted. "I am an adult…" She whispered and searched for Wanda. "Mom, can I have a beer?" She wouldn't even drink that much, just a little. "Sorry honey, Seb's mom would be horrified if you're drinking while looking like a child." Wanda grinned sheepishly. Miz pouted and Ford, wanting a bit of revenge for this morning, walked over to grab a bottle for himself. "Hm. Pear beer? Haven't tried this kind before." He said with a grin. Seb was tilting his head back and drinking his own bottle. "It's sweet!" He commented, which only made Miz pout harder. She wanted to try sweet beer.

"Can I sneak a bottle back to my room?" Miz begged Wanda, tugging on her shirt. "Please? Pleeease~?" She gave Wanda a wide eyed look with wobbly lips.

Wanda was about to reply that it could be risky when she looked at Seb grabbing another bottle. "Pines! You can't drink more than one!" Wanda ran towards him. Miz grinned wickedly and grabbed a bottle before quietly sneaking to her room. She was Bill Cipher and no one told her what to do! (Besides, this wasn't a mom order, hehe). She popped open the lid and sipped on the cold liquid. Ooh~it really WAS sweet~

She hummed as she sipped on the liquid. There was a mild burn but it wasn't as sour/bitter as most beers she's tried. There weren't any bubbles and carbonation either so it didn't hurt to drink it. She heard some footsteps outside the door and froze when it opened and Dipper walked in with Mabel and Dillon. "Ah…" Miz hid the bottle behind her back. "You saw nothing."

"Like heck we didn't!" Mabel laughed. "I want to try some too!" She went over to the bed and sat next to Miz. "I mean, we're almost in college already right?" Miz looked up at Mabel before turning her gaze to Dipper and Dillon. "Are you guys here for the beer too?"

Dipper blushed. "I'm just curious what it tastes like." He protested. Dillon nodded without shame. "I know what it tastes like, but I can't drink in front of Ma or Diego, Ma says it would be setting a 'bad example'." Dillion air quoted. Mabel gasped. "Uncle Stan lets you drink?"

"Yup. You practice somewhere safe so you don't go around fucking up and being an embarrassment. I was actually surprised you guys never drank. Not even in parties? With friends?"

Dipper blushed and Mabel shrugged. "Dip-dop doesn't go to parties, and I'm the designated driver so I can't drink." Dipper muttered "...can't believe your friends trust YOU to drive them places…" He still couldn't believe she got her driver's licence before he did.

"I'm actually the saint in my group of friends. Except with Candy and Grenda, those two are super cray-cray!" Mabel cackled loudly. Dillon put a hand on his chest. "You? The saint? Are your friends like, insane or something then?" He teased. Mabel blew a raspberry at him. Dipper rolled his eyes and noticed Miz chugging the bottle. "Ah! You're taking all of it!" He whined. Miz giggled. "Dun worry~I made it so this bottle doesn' run out~"

"Oohh! Gimme!" Dillon took the bottle from the demon and gulped it down. "Ah! This is amazing!" He grinned. Mabel showed him her plastic cup. "I don't want to touch your saliva. Here." She smiled adorably. Dillon rolled his eyes and poured the alcoholic beverage into her cup.

Miz sighed and fell backwards, staring at the ceiling. Ah...she thought she drank too much… mom was right… "Dun let me get out of thiss room!" She slurred and the teens agreed. If grandma Kari saw her drunk...and saw the teenagers with the bottle...the three teens shuddered. Grandma Kari was SCARY when she was mad.

Miz hummed as she drank her cup of beer. Mm~she needed to see if this brand came in other flavors...did they have blueberry beer? Orange beer? She giggled. The teens passed the bottle around, taking sips and laughing lightly, hoping they wouldn't get the attention of the adults downstairs.

The adults downstairs had their own problems. "Sebastian! Put the bottle down! That's enough!"

"NO! YOU AREN'T THE BOSS OF ME!" Seb screamed at Stan who groaned. He was worse than Ford! "I will put allll the alcohol in the pool and we will have drinks forever! With maaAgic!"

"Sebastian William Pines!" Kari frowned. Oh no. Middle name! "But good magic, ma! Good magic!" He slurred.

The twins and Diego were really confused. The adults were so weird. Their dad/Uncle Seb was weird. They grabbed the plantimals and went upstairs to play in Diego's room, where it was less noisy with the triplets' shouting. On the way, they saw their big cousins in Miz and Uncle Fordsie's room. "Whatcha doing?" Diego asked.

Dillon snorted the drink out of his nose and Mabel shrieked. Dipper blinked slowly, already swaying slightly. "We...didn't close the door?" He asked. Mabel facepalmed. "We forgot to close the door." Dillon, the most capable of holding his alcohol, smiled at the children. "We're just having some big kid boring playtime. You guys go play, we're gonna talk about boring things like college courses and school...and financial aid…student loans can kill you."

The elementary aged kids all scowled. "Ewww!" they all cried before running away. Dillon smirked. Works every time.

"Eewww!" Mabel cried too and laid down on the bed. She was a big kid and she didn't want to hear about that either. "Guuyss! You know what would be cool?! We should go out somewhere! My boyfriend is 21 already! Yes?" Dillon suggested. "Miz? Are you coherent enough to come as well?"

The twins looked at each other in doubt. As much as they (Mabel) went to parties and drank, they were calm kids, they wouldn't sneak out or do risky stuff like other teens. "Our parents won't let us…" Dillon hummed. "Ok, not somewhere crazy...Maybe, the mall? We aren't that tipsy! But seriously, it's summer, and I don't want to stay in the house!" He begged. The twins looked at each other. "Ok, but can we tell our parents we're going to the mall first? I don't want them to worry." Mabel said.

"I wanna come too~" Miz got up and flopped against Dipper's back. "I never went to a mall on Earth beeefooore~" She begged them. Yay~mall! Stores with stuff to look at and touch! Dipper sighed. "But...you're obviously...more drunk than we are…" He pointed out. "Can you even walk straight?" Miz scoffed. "Then carry me." She wrapped her arms and legs around him, nuzzling his face with her own. "I wanna piggyback ride...why're they called piggyback rides? You're not a pig?" Mabel frowned. "Now she is asking the real questions."

Dipper picked up his 'cousin'. "I'll trust your drunkness will eventually pass. Don't speak in front of anyone ok?" Miz nodded and snuggled closer to his back. Heheh...the room was sparkly~ Dillon was already excitedly calling his boyfriend. "Well, he's going to meet us at the mall." He grinned. Mabel and Dillon held hands and squee'ed. "I can't wait to meet your boyfriend!" Mabel was so excited to see how cute he was in person. Dipper tried to get up from the bed and wobbled a bit. "Ok...hold on, I'm not used to giving people piggyback rides." He said. Miz nodded. As she pressed herself closer, Dipper blushed. "Ah...m-maybe have Mabel hold you instead?" He stuttered. "I-I'm no good at it!"

Miz blinked as she heard Dipper's mental screams of 'OMG SHE HAS BREASTS?! I CAN FEEL THEM?! AH!'

"Sure you are! But you only give Pacifica piggyback rides~" Mabel teased as she took Miz from his back. She held her firmer than Dipper did, even when she was shorter than her twin. No fun. Dipper was shorter than her until they were 15, suddenly Woosh! She grumbled. Damn tall male Pines. Mabel held Miz close and blinked. She glanced back at the somewhat sleepy girl. "You...aren't wearing a bra…" Mabel commented.

Miz blinked. "But...I don't need one. I'm not big enough to need one." Mabel shook her head. "Even so, you should at least have a training bra. Girls usually wear them." She remembered how her mom sat her down to explain this to her as she got older. (A good thing about having young parents was that they'd talk to you like friends). Miz whined. "But bras feel uncomfortable…" Mabel hummed. "Well then we just need to find you one that is LESS uncomfortable." She nodded and turned to the boys. "Guys, we are going BRA SHOPPING!"

"Pleaseanythingbutthatnoway!" Dipper wailed. Miz came to his rescue by saying "I can just materialize a bra, I don't need to buy one." Dipper heaved a sigh of relief until Miz continued "But I don't know what kinds I need so we might have to go to the store and try stuff on…"

Mabel 'whoop!'ed and made her way out of the room. "BRA SHOPPING!" She gasped. "Oh! We are going to the beach too, right? We should definitely buy bikinis! I haven't brought enough!" Dipper groaned.

"How many did you bring?" Dillon laughed. Mabel shook her head. "Just four." Miz gasped. "That's nowhere NEAR enough! Especially if we're gonna be going to the New Jersey beaches! You need at LEAST 7! One for each day of the week!"

"That's what I told my dad but he didn't give me enough money!" Mabel grumbled about her allowance. It was fine when she was a kid but now she had to buy adult make up and clothes, which were more expensive. Miz giggled. "If you need money for shopping, I can make some gold for you guys to trade in for cash~" Mabel and Dillon gasped. "So...like...we can have as much spending money as we want?"

"Yup! I can literally create gold or any other precious metal so..." Miz shrugged.

"Sweet." Mabel and Dillon smiled. Dipper made a face. Dillon patted his shoulder. "Don't worry. We don't actually have to be with them. We can go buy clothes for ourselves too." He told his younger cousin. Dipper heaved a sigh of relief. Mabel carried Miz downstairs. The demon managed to burn off some of the alcohol by materializing some fancy golden necklaces, it was much easier to pawn off jewelry and claim it was old stuff they didn't need anymore, than trying to hand over a chunk of gold. Dillon held onto the necklaces (in an antique looking box, just to complete the look) as Miz created them. He folded the jewelry up neatly into his pocket as they got downstairs.

"Hey Mom, dad! We're gonna go out and hang at the mall for a few hours!" Mabel called out.

"With whom?!" Shermie called out, his green eyes dilated. "With Dillon and his boyfriend." Mabel responded. "No! You can't go without someone I don't know. I don't know him! So you can't go! Suck it!" Shermie fell over Seb who was hugging Sir Bedazzle and sobbing because he was just "Too cute for this world!" The adults were obviously very drunk.

"But Daaddd!" Mabel sobbed. "Come on, Uncle Shermie, we will be fine!" Dillon said. "We're pretty much adults already." He groaned when he saw his own father lying slumped over the back of the couch. "We have our phones, and we'll stay together."

"You can't go without an adult over 30 years old." Shermie said. Everyone whined but Seb blinked and looked around. "Sssixer can go with you…" Indeed, Ford was the only adult in the room who wasn't drunk, having just drank a little bit to spite Miz and giving up his bottle to Shermie when he woke up. Ford blinked, looking up from his journal. "Me?"

Dipper made a sound at a pitch only dogs could hear. Miz's head shot up and looked around in confusion. "Uncle Ford is coming with us? Yes!"

"Well, Sasha is coming with you too." Stan added. "You know, like she always does when you go out without us." He reminded his oldest son.

Dillon looked away. Sure. Always.

"Um, what? Where?" Ford blinked, looking so much like a confused owl that Miz nearly squealed. "To the mall." Dillon was slightly upset, but going with uncle Ford who could easily be lost or convinced to leave was way better than not going.

Ford would be easier to ditch than Sasha. But at least Sasha was quiet and unnoticeable most of the time. In fact… Dillon looked around. She was here earlier and now he didn't see her. She was already 'on the job'.

"Um, sure, I guess I could?" Ford shrugged.

Everyone cheered. The twins made pouting faces at their drunk parents and got 100 bucks each! Haha! This was going great for them! Miz was creating gold to pay anyway! Dillon just grabbed his almost unconscious dad's wallet and shoved it in his pocket. "Let's go!"

Sasha suddenly materialized beside Stan. "Sir. I believe it might actually be more prudent for me to remain here. You and the missus are impaired and the youngest of the children are here. I should stay to make sure they are alright."

"Oh. Okay…" Stan slurred as he laid on top of Carla to kiss her.

Ford calmly grabbed the keys for Stan's car and the teens plus Miz got in. Dillon indicated where to go. Ford was quiet, still surprised he was put as chaperon. He looked in the rearview mirror and noticed Miz was cuddled up against Mabel. She looked sleepy. Was she tired out already? It was only the afternoon. He wondered if her physical form affected her state of being. He heard that children needed naps and stuff, right?

They got to the mall without much trouble and the kids told him that they would be splitting up, the girls were going to the women's undergarments store and the boys were heading to the pawnshop. Ford looked torn as to which group he should follow but upon seeing the Vanessa's Private Affair shop and all the...bras and frilly underwear, Ford abruptly turned and escaped with the boys. Dillon got a text saying his boyfriend would be waiting for them at the pawnshop. Ford and Dipper both shuddered. Thank god they didn't have to go with the girls into that store.

Miz rubbed her eyes, she was feeling a little more aware after spending the car ride burning off her powers and the ethanol in her system by altering the shapes of clouds in the sky as they drove past. She was sure Ford and the others hadn't noticed. Mabel carried her into the store and crouched down so she could get off. Yawning, Miz blinked around at all the fancy, frilly underwear. "Ooh…"

She's only ever gone clothes shopping with Pyronica. And hasn't really bothered with underwear before aside from some sexy lingerie for her Bill form for fun. Though, she won't deny it hasn't crossed her mind now and again.

"Alright! First we get a cute bra, if you don't find anything you feel comfortable with we could try a sports bra, I like those, I use them when I don't feel like spending too much time on my clothes, and then we go looking for bikinis, ok?"

Miz smiled and nodded. This should be fun! This Mabel was so nice and kind. A shop attendant came over and smiled at them. "Hello. What can I help you with today?" She said in a friendly manner. Mabel gestured to Miz with a flourish. "This little lady needs a bra!" She decided to buy one actual pair and find others that Miz liked for her to materialize later. That way they didn't have to spend too much money.

The shop attendant smiled down at Miz. "Well, is this going to be your first bra? Do you know your size?" Miz had one hand on Mabel's shirt. "Um...I don't know?" The woman didn't appear upset at the answer. "Well come along, we can measure you." She led them to the back of the shop where the changing rooms were. "I don't have to take my dress off right?" Miz asked. The woman shook her head. "I can measure over your clothes as long as they aren't too thick."

Miz's dress had ruffles on the chest area so no one could see the shape of her chest but the woman took out a tape measure and wrapped it gently around her, pressing the ruffles down. Miz felt the heartbeat of her vessel pick up in mild panic but she was able to grip onto Mabel's hand and keep herself calm. If she hadn't gotten used to more intense constrictions with Ford...she wasn't sure she would have been able to handle this.

The woman made a startled sound as she pulled the tape measure a little tighter, flattening down the ruffles so she could get Miz's actual size. "You're larger than I thought, still small, but larger than your size would indicate. You should have gotten a bra long before now."

"But I don't like how they feel...and no one notices…" Miz mumbled.

"It still helps your breasts grow shapely. You will thank your sister for bringing you when you grow up." The woman smiled. "I will show you the models we have for you to choose from, alright?" Mabel and Miz sat down and waited.

"Do you think Uncle Ford will be fine with the boys?" Mabel asked. Miz hummed and eventually shrugged. "I guess, it'll do him good to socialize." Besides, what's the worst that could happen?

Ford met his nephew's boyfriend. The first and only time he met him was at Seb's and Stan's wedding. He didn't quite pay attention to him so seeing him now gave him the impression of 'rascal'. He was smoking, had an ear filled with piercings and he had a piercing on his nose, as well as hundreds of tattoos on one arm while the other was being slowly filled in. He politely shook his hand, the boy actually confused him with Stanley and came up to hug him with a loud "Yo, Dad~ My man!" Phillip fingergunned him before daring to do so.

"Eh~~ Phillip, babe, that's~ not my dad. That's my other uncle Stanford." Dillon grinned as Dipper chuckled behind his hand.

Phillip gasped, horrified and let go. Oh my god! And it had to be today that he showed more affection to his 'father in law!' "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, sir. I-I'm Phillip Abbott…You-You met me that time in the-the wedding…" He said lamely.

The two cousins giggled while Ford stared at Phillip unimpressed.

The ginger boy wanted to socialize and get to know Ford, so he started asking him lots of questions. Ford replied dryly but the teen didn't notice or care. When the conversation changed to what Dipper was studying and how it was his dream forever, get good grades, get into a technical school, start a show about ghost hunting.

Phillip, grinned at him. "That's awesome dude! I'm in med school right now and I wanna be a pediatrician, maybe specialize in endocrinology, but I didn't know what to study since the beginning like you!"

Then Ford did a double take. The kid was intelligent, he finished second in his class at high school and he was getting good grades while studying medicine… Ford felt bad for judging him so quickly. Then he blinked. "I think my other brother, Sebastian, might want to speak with you." Phillip looked over at him. "Huh?"

"Oh, right." Dipper nodded. My cousin Zach is...well...he's a female but he says he's a boy now." Phillip gasped. Lgbt baby? "Is he alright? Is he getting the support he needs?" Ford quickly reassured him, "Don't worry. Sebastian and Wanda are very supportive parents. They just don't know what to do. They want to help him but they're not sure how to go about doing so."

"Well, if Zach is a boy, he could get hormone treatments." Phillip said. "Zach is 5 years old." Dillion deadpanned. Phillip winced. "Oh...yeah...I think I can see what the problem is." He frowned. "There's...no right answer for when a kid should be given hormonal treatments. It's not JUST for gender reassignments either, I've read articles about giving children growth hormones if their parents don't think they're growing or developing fast enough."

Phillip shook his head. "Hormone treatments are always a tricky thing. Some doctors worry about what the long term effects would be, especially if it's being used on a child who hasn't started or finished puberty yet. It might cause problems when he's older if he's treated now. But-!" He said when everyone's expressions fell, "Some children who are forced to go through puberty and develop into a body they don't feel right with, can get...feelings of anxiety, self esteem problems and other fun things." He sighed sarcastically, running a hand through his hair. "So, if they know FOR SURE and if Zach knows FOR SURE that he is a boy, there are hormone blockers that can delay puberty for a while to prevent any changes until he decides for real. In case he changes his mind when he's older."

Phillip continued. "Hormone blockers are mainly pretty safe, but they might have problems if they're used for too long. Basically, it all comes down to how Zach feels. You said he's 5 years old? He might be too young to know for sure, so...I'm not an actual licenced pediatrician yet, so don't take my word or suggestion as law, but I think you let him wait a few years, maybe until he's 9 or 10, since that's usually when puberty starts, and if he's still absolutely sure that he's a boy, then he can get the proper hormone treatments. But if he's absolutely sure, he would need to start his treatments before age 12, so that there would be less issues caused by puberty."

Dipper, Dillon and Ford nodded. "Thank you very much Phillip. Do you happen to know any pediatricians who specialize in this sort of thing? I would like to help my brother and his family as much as I can." Ford said. Phillip nodded. "I can ask around. Here's my number if your brother wants to call me and talk. Once again, I'm not a fully trained pediatrician and you shouldn't go with something just because I say it." He giggled nervously.

"Even so, your suggestions were helpful. Thank you." Ford nodded.

"The doctor inside you turns me on…" Dillon whispered to his partner.

The pawnshop owner stared at them. "Um...if you're done with your conversation, I've calculated out how much the gold is worth…" The pawnshop owner said as he held up the necklace. "This comes out to $1100." He said. Dipper and Dillon gasped. "T-they're worth that much?"

The pawnshop owner frowned at them suspiciously. "You didn't know? These are most likely 24K gold. I've never seen gold so pure. And the craftsmen ship is exquisite." He had been surprised when he tested the piece with multiple tools and found every result to be 'This is really nice gold'. He had been surprised that there was no stamp indicating it's karat rating but when he tested it and compared it to the 22K gold he had in the shop, the necklace came out as more pure.

The pawnshop owner kept quiet that this necklace was worth MORE than he told them. True, if he were to melt the gold down to sell off to craftsmen it would be around that price, but if he sold the necklace, as is, to a collector or someone who planned to wear them? Worth so much more, the fine detail work on the ornamentation was beautiful. The chord itself was a double rope chain made of pure gold. He stared at these plainly dressed people. "Where...exactly did you get this necklace?" He asked suspiciously.

Dillion smoothly took over the conversation, easily noticing the man's suspicion. "They were an heirloom passed down in our family. But none of us really needs it and we thought we would trade it in to see how much it's worth…" Dillon leaned against the counter with a smirk Ford had seen Stan wear before. "And I think you're trying to cheat us out of the true value of this piece."

The pawnshop owner frowned. "But that is the market price for gold of this weight and karat." Dillon scoffed. "And yet, you haven't even told us what the price for the necklace is. We came here to sell the necklace, not the gold." The pawnshop owner was now sweating.

Phillip smiled goofily. He loved when Dillon did that...

"So." Dillon looked at his nails. "Will you kindly tell us what the real price is? I wouldn't want to report you for being a fraud…and trust me when I say that I have the means to do it." Ford couldn't believe how much Dillon was like Stan...it was truly amazing how not only physical traits are passed down by DNA, but attitudes and personality as well. Or had Stan taught his son how to do this?

The pawnshop owner grumbled. "$3600." He said. Dillon smiled, almost serenely. "There. Now that wasn't too hard right?" The man handed over the wads of $100s, $50s, $20s and grumpily kicked them out of his shop. Phillip grabbed Dillon's face and kissed his lips. "You are our saviour…" He whispered. Ford blinked at the wad of cash that Dillon quickly shoved into his bag. "How...where did you even get that necklace?"

""Miz made it."" The boys responded. Dillon sheepishly patted his bag. "She actually made two more but after this...I don't think we should try pawning these two off at the same place." Holy shit, having a magical PURE GOLD producing demon/dragon thing in the family was AMAZING...also, he was going to have to ask his dad to help him put this money into his, Dipper and Mabel's bank accounts. It would be too suspicious for a teenager to walk into a bank with a bag full of money.

He looked at Ford and grinned. He pulled out his Dad's wallet from his pocket. "So~ How do you feel about being my dad for a second, Uncle Ford~?"

"What? Why?"

"I was a minor when I got my debit card so it's under my dad's name. You can go to the bank, put this money into our cards and we can shop happily without people thinking we robbed a bank!"

Ford sputtered. "B-but I'm NOT Stanley! This is…" he lowered his voice "...isn't this fraud?"

Dillon sighed and hugged his uncle. "When there aren't cops around, anything is legal." He whispered back and the other boys laughed. "Now move your ass, dad!"

"Yeah, Mabel will start spamming me if we don't give them their part soon." Dipper said. Dillon sorted out the $20s to pass out to Dipper and Phillip. "We can keep these ones since they're less suspicious, but the $100s and $50s will need to be deposited." He said.

Phillip looked at the $20s. "I get some too? But isn't this from pawning off a family heirloom?" Of course Phillip wasn't told about weirdness...yet.

Dillon kissed him. "Well~would you like to be family~" He teased. Phillip laughed and kissed him back. "You little sneak! That was smooth as fuck!" The two continued to be adorable together as Dipper and Ford headed to the bank. Dipper rubbed his arm. He was happy for them but public displays of affection of any kind still weirded him out. Ford was simply worried about pretending to be his brother. It...shouldn't be that hard, right? Seb mentioned that the Stanley from when he was Bill pretended to be his brother for 30 years, even tricked and killed Bill/Seb that way…

"Hm…" Miz turned in front of the mirror and looked at the bralette she was trying on. Since she didn't actually NEED the weight support, she opted for the cloth and elastic solution. It was much more comfortable. And it covered her breasts and nipples, which was all she really needed for modesty anyway. She was currently wearing a lacy black one that had a nice crisscrossing on the back. She admitted it was cute.

"Cute. Approved." Mabel nodded. The two were in a changing room. As Miz didn't want the strangers touching her, she agreed to let Mabel come in with her. Miz chuckled. "Shooting Star, you approved all of them!" The teen laughed as she looked at the light pink bra she picked up for herself. "Well all of them look cute on you! Would you mind if I try this on here?" Miz shook her head. "Knock yourself out."

Mabel took off her sweater and Miz couldn't help but stare. "You're...actually pretty big." She commented. The sweaters hid Mabel's size very well. Miz looked down at herself and cupped her breasts. She had long since gotten over the fact that she would never grow any larger...but...still… (and she had the older Miz that brother made for her, at least she was big like that!)

Mabel smiled softly. "Hey, we both look awesome just the way we are!" She wasn't that big either, but maybe for Miz it looked like she was? Mabel took off her bra and turned around. "And you looked hella cute in those bralettes! There are girls out there who would kill to rock them like you do!" She put on the new bra and adjusted it without any shame in the world. "How does it look?"

Miz looked the other girl over. "It looks nice. Really makes your profile stand out."

"Aaww!" The brunette squealed and hugged Miz. "I'll get it then! I have one similar, but I wore it too much, the straps and the fabric are like, falling apart!" She giggled. "We have to choose which one you're gonna actually buy. I'll tell Dipstick to bring us money."

Miz sat down and hummed at the options. They were all so cute.

"Fraud! Fraud! Fraud!" Dipper, Dillon and Phillip chanted softly as Stanford trembled in front of the bank. "Kids, I really shouldn't-"

"Mr. Pines I didn't notice your hands until you said you were worried about it. Don't worry!" Phillip assured him.

"There is nowhere in the ID that says how many fingers you have! Go in!" Dillon kicked his uncle forward and Ford stumbled inside with the money in the bag. The teens gave him a thumbs up. Ford sighed. He coughed and shifted his tone to be more gruff. "Hello. I'm here to deposit some money into my son's account." Ford was told that Dillon had an app on his phone that would allow him to transfer money from his own bank into others. Vanmo?

The bank teller looked up. She asked him for his ID and the bank number. Ford handed it over, worrying about how Dillon had stolen ("Borrowed.") Stanley's wallet. "Here you are." The woman looked at the photo then back at Ford with a confused look that made him tense up. This was it. He was going to prison. He was a criminal! He would be tortured for trying to pass as his-

"Could you take off your glasses, sir?" She asked kindly. Ford nervously obeyed. "Oh. There you are. Sorry, haha we are very strict on this but I suck at recognizing people if they don't look like the photo, my bad!" She grinned sheepishly. She typed on her computer and quickly found his files. "Stanley Pines, yes?"

"Yeah." Ford said. The woman typed a bit. "Yes, your son's account is here, so you're putting in some cash for his account? What's the occasion?" She asked, just as friendly conversation. Ford hoped she didn't see him sweat. "Just a little gift. He got into a good college and I wanted to surprise him." Ford bullshit.

"Oh, that's so nice, Mr. Pines…" The woman nodded. She asked for the money and Ford awkwardly put the cash on the counter. She didn't seem surprised at the amount though, she saw this everyday, and simply registered the amount, typed down something on the computer and smiled. "Done!"

"Thank you very much ma'am." Ford said as he turned to leave. Finally. Now he just had to get out of here-

"Wait!"

Ford froze. Oh no. She's caught him! He was going to be arrested and then sent to jail and then he would never be able to return to his lab and work on his projects-

"You almost forgot your ID." The woman held out the little card. "Y-yes. Ahaha. Sorry, I'm rather absent minded." Ford laughed and went back to take the card from her. She smiled "It's alright sir. I once had a woman forget the wad of cash she JUST withdrew." Ford laughed and nodded. "Right, well, thank you again." He got out of there and heaved a relieved sigh the instant he was out of view of the bank.

"Woo! Way to go, uncle Ford!" Dillon smacked him on the back with a laugh. Ford stumbled. "Y-yes...right. Well, I don't plan on doing that ever again."

"Aaw~ What?!" Phillip laughed. "But if you have a twin-triplet- you HAVE to take advantage of it! Why do you even have a twin for then?"

"To get extra candy on halloween as a kid." Dipper said fondly. Phillip raised his arms in the air. "My dude! Awesome!" He high fived Dipper with both hands. "N-No...Just-transfer the twins the money…" Ford frowned a bit. Phillip was a nice kid, but Ford was starting to see why Dillon liked him so much. "Woah what?! Twin?!" Phillip looked at Dipper. He nodded. "You're also a twin and didn't tell me?"

"I told you his sister was with our other cousin, baby." Dillon rolled his eyes. "Twin sister."

"That's awesome...though you can't do massive fraud with a sister." Phillip sighed.

"You shouldn't do massive fraud either way." Ford mumbled. The kids weren't listening as they laughed and went along through the mall. Dipper pulled out his phone. "Oh, Mabel is asking for the money." They stopped in front of the undergarment store. Dillon nudged Dipper. "Go on, go in there and give your sister her stack of $20s."

"Nuh uh! No way!" Dipper blushed, seeing so many women shopping and laughing, holding up bras to themselves and looking in mirrors. "I have a girlfriend. Why don't you go in? You're gay! You are immune to women…right?" Dillon rolled his eyes. "That's not how it works." Dillon and Dipper turned to Ford. "You're an adult, you're supposed to be the responsible one." Dillon told him. Ford crossed his arms. "I just committed fraud. I'm not doing anything else."

The teenage boys laughed but quickly sobered up. "You go in!" Dipper insisted. "No, she's your twin!" Dillon said back. "Goddammit, fuck it. I'M going to find her!" Phillip groaned. "What does she look like? Should I go in and look for a girl Dipper?" Dipper rolled his eyes and showed him a picture of Mabel. "She is with our cousin, she has black hair, asian complexion."

Phillip nodded easily, grabbed the money and got in. "He's so brave…" Dillon sighed dreamily.

Mabel and Miz stood in the store. Dipper said they were coming over now. Mabel had the pink bra she wanted in one hand and made Miz Scan and Save a couple others she wanted but wasn't going to buy. Miz would create them once they got back to the house. Miz had the nice black bralette with the little bowtie shaped decoration in the front. It was a small bowtie but she liked it. They looked over when a voice called out "Hey, are you Dipper's sister?"

Mabel looked over and her first thought was 'Cute boy!' followed by Dammit! Dillon's boyfriend.' "Yeah! Who asks? Cuz if you are single, I'm free tonight~" She smiled, trying her luck. The light ginger boy smiled. "Sorry, sweetheart, I'm taken by your cousin."

"Oh." Mabel pouted and Phillip laughed. "Well you see neither of them had the balls to enter, so I volunteered to bring you the money!" He bowed and handed the wrinkled bills to her. "You're welcome! Nice bra!" He saluted and walked out of the store calmly.

Mabel pulled her hair. "Why are the cutest boys gay?!" Miz patted her back comfortingly. "I'm sure you'll find someone." Mabel looked over at her. "And you're a cute boy half the time but I can't be with you either." She sighed. Miz laughed and gave her the chosen garment so she could pay. "Thanks…I guess?" To be fair, she did make her other forms purposely attractive, in that weird way of attractiveness where she could tell they were attractive but couldn't express in thoughts or words why they were good looking.

The boys cheered when Phillip returned. "There! You three are so ridiculous! It's just a store!" He looked at Dillon and leaned on him. "You know what I want? I want a drink!"

"Nope." Ford shook his head. "You all are not allowed to drink." Well, Miz was technically an adult, but not really. "Pft! I'm 21, sir. Thanks for thinking I'm younger~" Phillip grinned.

Ford deadpanned at him. "Still no."

"But if you're sooo worried, then we both can have a nice drink and we give these babies apple juice boxes! How 'bout that?" Phillip suggested with a teasing grin. Ford shook his head. "I'm driving the children home."

Phillip looked at Dillon. "How is he so different from your dad?" Dillon grinned. "And you haven't even really met my uncle Seb yet." Ford had the distinct feeling they were making fun of him. Dipper at least, looked a little sheepish. "Alright~We're done here and now it's off to the bathing suit store~" Mabel cheered as she and Miz came out with their little bags.

"What's your name, kid?" Miz asked the ginger, she knew, but it was nice to actually introduce themselves.

"I'm Phillip! I am Dillon's boyfriend, and if you didn't know boys could like each other, now you know!" The boy smiled down at the little girl. "Of course I knew!" Miz said as she walked next to Mabel. A quick scan told her he was a good kid, but it didn't mean she could trust him yet. "I'm Miz."

"She is our Uncle Seb's adopted daughter." Mabel grinned at that. She glanced at Dillon, wondering if it would be alright to tell Phillip about magic. Phillip blinked at the little girl. "Miz...wait, the same Miz who created the necklaces?"

Ford facepalmed. Where was a memory gun when you needed it? Damn this perceptive young man!

Miz looked up at Phillip when he crouched in front of her. He reached for Dillon, 'accidentally' touched his butt, and pulled out the golden jewelry. "You created this necklace?! How?!" Miz looked up at Dillon and then at Ford. Should she? Phillip seemed nice but…

Ford shook his head but Dillon nodded. Miz frowned. She looked at Dipper and Mabel. Mabel nodded and Dipper looked over at Ford and shook his head too. Miz groaned. It was a tie. She reached up to her ear and flicked her fingers, making a quarter appear. "Heads I tell you, tails I don't." She declared. Ford shook his head harder. "Don't-!" Miz flicked the coin. Phillip stared in confusion. When he saw her make the coin appear he wondered if she was a magician. Coin behind the ear was the oldest trick in the book.

The coin plinked to the ground.

Heads.

Ford picked Miz up. "No. You can't tell him." Miz whined. "But...family is allowed to know right? And Dillon plans to marry him once they graduate from college so…"

"H-how did you know?!" Dillon gasped. Phillip looked over at him. "Really?" He asked with wide eyes. "You...really like me that much, babe?"

"Y-Yeah...Miz just ruined my 7 year plan…" He whispered. Fuck. Phillip leaned closer and kissed him, momentarily forgetting about the magician girl because oh my god, oh my god, Dillon was actually planning to marry him! Ford looked at Miz as the teens shared a passionate moment. He'll...just ignore that. "Are you sure you want to tell him?"

"He's clean. I think I can tell him." Miz said as she dangled from Ford's arms. And he was going to be family in a mere 7 years anyway. She didn't see the problem in telling him. Ford sighed. "If you're sure." He placed Miz back on the ground. Dillon and Phillip were murmuring assurances to each other. Dillon was smiling as he realized how happy Phillip was about his intended proposal. "Well...when I DO pop the question, can you pretend to be all surprised an' stuff?" The two laughed. Phillip kissed his nose "Of course, babe. So, is this whole secret something only family is allowed to know?"

"Well, it NEEDS to be kept secret. You can't tell ANYONE." Dillon told him. Phillip nodded solemnly. Ford looked around "Can we move this to a less populated area? Without cameras?" Phillip looked worried now. How intense was this secret? They went to the bathroom and rest area of the mall. The rest area was for people to sit as they waited for the bathrooms. Miz looked around and spotted the security camera pointing down the hallway. She quickly triangulated (hah!) to find the blind spots.

Finally she sighed. Phillip was now looking nervous. He didn't expect his simple question to lead to something so important. He watched as Miz raised her hands up, cupped together as if holding water. His eyes went wide as gold, ACTUAL gold, began to form between her hands. Little gold pellets forming one after the other. "Holy shit." He hissed. Dillon nodded. "And apparently, it's 24K as well."

"It's easier to create pure gold than it is to purposely put in impurities." Miz stated. "Gold is an element. So I just draw together the protons and neutrons and click them together until they become what I need." She handed the gold to Dillon who opened his bag for her to dump them in. Phillip was running a hand through his hair "Holy shit." he repeated. "Holy...shit."

What the heck?!

"So your uncle adopted a-a magic kid who can manipulate atoms to her will or some shit?" He understood what she meant. Basic Chemistry but holy shit she was USING OTHER ATOMS and creating GOLD!

The twins and Dillon looked at Ford. Should they tell him more? Ford shook his head and when he made a wiggling motion with his hand. 'Don't tell him now but after he's officially part of the family we can fill him in.' The three cousins nodded even as Phillip continued to lose his shit over this knowledge that such a thing was EVEN POSSIBLE. He stared at Dillon. "Is your uncle a billionaire?" He asked. Dillon shook his head. "No, he's just an upper middle class dude with a successful brand of clothing living in a nice neighborhood."

"How is he not the richest man in the world?" Phillip asked. "Because mommy said I wasn't allowed to just make gold whenever I want." Miz pouted. "Something about how it would unbalance the economy or something." She pointed at Ford "But Fordsie asks me for stuff like Plutonium and Uranium all the time."

"Are you building a bomb?!" Phillip gasped at Ford who hurriedly shook his head. "No! I'm a scientist! I need them for some experiments I'm running!" Miz spoke up "Also, there's so much dust in his room I can make a LOT of stuff." Poor Phillip felt dizzy. "I-I think I'm gonna pass out…"

"Philly, no, we haven't gone to any stores yet!" Dillon warned. His boyfriend shook his head. "How are you just accepting this?! This is-this is incredible and you are like meh, have seen better, like what the fuck?!"

"Weirdness is part of our family." Dipper shrugged and Mabel patted Phillip's shoulder. "And it welcomes you with open arms!" She gave him her patented Mabel smile. "Besides, if you can't even handle THIS much, you're gonna faint for real when you meet uncle Seb and his other kids."

"Can they manipulate the atomic makeup of the world around us too?" Phillip groaned. Uncle Seb was the guy who adopted Miz right? How did he even FIND a magical daughter?

Mabel laughed "No. At least, I don't think so. But they can set stuff on fire and lift objects with their minds~" Phillip stared at her and then at Dillon as Dipper glared at Mabel. So much for keeping this a secret.

"Are you secretly some kind of Fey prince?" Phillip asked. Dillon laughed. "No. I'm 100% normal human. To my disappointment."

He looked at the twins and asked the same question. "I think my superpower is how adorable I am! And perfect! Also Dipper has a birthmark shaped like the Big Dipper!" She lifted his bangs and Phillip grinned before Dipper pushed her hand away and fixed his hair. "Woah...I know boyfriends usually don't say this...but I totally want to meet your family…"

"Come tomorrow. It's my old man and his triplets' birthday. Then you can faint cuz I wanted to look for a t-shirt hours ago!" Dillon grabbed his hand and pulled him up and everyone returned to the stores to buy more stuff, because capitalism! Mabel dragged them all to the Summer Shop for all your beach/pool needs. She and Miz gazed at the colorful array of bikinis and sighed longingly. The squeals they made as they dove into the racks and picked stuff out made the boy's wince.

"So...can we go check out other stores?" Dipper asked. "No! You guys need to critique our bikinis!" Mabel called back. Dipper shuddered. He didn't want to do this. Dillon and Phillip rolled their eyes and Ford just looked confused. They sat down and a couple other guys sitting nearby gave them a sympathetic look. "Girlfriends?" One of them asked. "Sister and cousin." Dipper responded. They nodded. A solemn show of male suffering.

"Are you ready yet?" Dillon moaned. "No!" Mabel said. "But you will love it!"

"Mabel, girl, I am not that kind of gaayy! Let me go!" Dillon wailed. He didn't know about clothes or anything people liked to stereotype him with. Phillip rubbed his hair. "And I only know about male clothes!" Dipper groaned "This is something that uncle SEB is for!"

"I...don't understand? They come out and we just tell them it looks nice, right?" Ford said obliviously. All the men stared at him before shaking their heads. "You poor, poor idiot." One sighed. Dipper facepalmed, wanting to defend his uncle but unable to really say anything about this.

"Ta-dah!" How's this?!" Mabel came out in a colorful tie-dyed bikini that had a little skirt-like section along the pants part. Miz was shyly tugging at her own bikini. Dillon blinked. "Are you wearing a-"

"It's an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polkadot bikini. Yes." Miz mumbled. Mabel had spotted (hah!) it and demanded that she try it on. She glanced at Ford. "H-how do I look?" He glanced over and said "You look fine." There was a resounding slap as all the other men face palmed. Miz frowned. "You...don't think it makes me look fat?" She tugged at it again. Ford responded despite all the other men shaking their heads frantically. "Well, you ARE rather bottom heavy. And somewhat rotund…" He said frankly. "Especially around your belly." The other men were already writing Ford's funeral rites.

"How-how do I disown myself from an uncle?" Dipper muttered. "I don't know him…" Dillon groaned. The other men looked at Ford as if he was insane.

Miz looked down with a faint "Oh." she glanced up at Ford again "Is that bad?" she asked. Ford shook his head. "No, it merely means you have a good storage of nutrients to burn off in case of survival situations." He nodded "And the heavier weight along with your low center of gravity means you are more grounded and less likely to topple over during a fight." He had learned this during his 13 years running for his life and going hungry when he and Stan couldn't find edible food. "Also, it makes you very nice to hug." Ford added, because Stanley always told him that he should compliment women. Miz blinked at him and smiled. "Ok." and turned to go back to the changing room.

The men and Mabel gaped at the calm man sitting next to all of them. Ford frowned. He didn't like the looks he was getting… "Yes?"

"Dude…" A male employee who was also watching gaped. "I didn't understand shit of what you said, but you didn't die." A boy told Ford. "We all thought you were dead."

"But I am clearly alive?" Ford muttered. He didn't get it, which was frustrating, he usually understood lots of things. Mabel considered her uncle's words. He was sincere and blunt...but it wasn't in a bad way, that was nice. And he made Miz smile when she was worried about the bathing suit.

"I'm sorry, don't disown me…" "I do know you…" The other Pines boys apologized.

Ford looked around in confusion. He scratched his head.

The process got easier from there on out. The other men compliment their girlfriends/wives/daughters as the women came out to show off their bathing suits. Miz was a little more confident when posing for the boys and the other men started secretly revering Ford as some kind of god. They left the store with 8 more bikinis than they entered with, Mabel and Miz each buying 4 while Miz had a bunch of others Saved for later.

There was now a wardrobe inside her Mindscape that had a copy of the molecular makeup for any piece of clothing she scanned to be called up and Pasted into the world at any time. It was much like the shelves she had that contained various other things she's scanned over the eons she'd been alive. She should probably organize them soon. She didn't want her Mindscape getting cluttered.

Now that the girls finally finished their shopping, the boys got to choose the other stores they visit.

First, much to everyone's surprise, the kid who had been shouting massive fraud all evening wanted to go to the bookstore. Dillon, Mabel and Miz cooed, Dipper rolled his eyes and Ford was just excited to go into the bookstore. Phillip searched for the book he was recommended by his college friend and because they didn't have it anymore, he reserved one. It was about cancer and the new methods that had worked on different occasions. Ford thought about how curious it was that Phillip seemed so educated and cultured despite his crazy appearance. He was glad his nephew was with someone like him though.

Dillon spent 5 minutes inside a store and bought 4 t-shirts. 2×1, cuz he realized he didn't have many short sleeved ones, and it offended the girls that he didn't even stop to see if he really liked it. Then, they passed by a new robotic place, which sold drones, motorized little cars, robots, planes and everyone stayed inside the store for a few hours, gushing and giggling excitedly. Miz scanned everything. She should try and study them later, being an All Knowing entity required actual research after all.

Ford had to admit they were pretty well made, but the one he built the twins was better~ Speaking of…

"How are the twins enjoying the drones I made for them their birthday?" Ford asked Miz. She blinked before laughing, "They used them to drop water balloons on Carol when she was outside." That had been nice. Bonus, the water soaked through her awful wig and it fell off, letting the whole neighborhood know that she was now bald.

"They-" Ford snorted and felt terrible that he didn't feel terrible. "They really did that?"

"They love your gift, they use it every time. I think they're gonna break it soon, they break everything they touch." Miz giggled. "I will take that into consideration for gifts in the future." Ford nodded.

After that they went to the GameGo store and Miz coo'ed over the new BakeMon game. Hm...she scanned a box with the hand-held system and a couple of the games she was interested in. Dipper noticed her doing so and shook his head. "No, we have to support the game companies." She wilted and Dipper pet her head "It's ok, I'm not mad. Just...no pirating games. Ok?" Dipper bought a new game for his video game console, yes, he still played! And Mabel patted his head as he grinned down at it. If worse came to worse and their trip to New Jersey ended up boring, he had something to do.

Ford noticed Miz glancing longingly at a small stuffed toy. He picked it up and carried it to the counter "How much is this?" he asked. "$15." The cashier. Ford nodded and paid for it. "Here." He handed it to Miz who lit up and hugged the yellow...rabbit (?) looking creature to her chest. She then jumped on him and hugged him tightly too. "Thank you Fordsie!" She gave him a happy nuzzle and ran off to show Mabel her new doll.

Dipper and Dillon were smiling so widely their cheeks hurt. Aww~

"I guess they really are together...huh…" Dipper scratched his head. It was still really weird to think that uncle Ford was dating the Bill Cipher from another dimension...but they were actually really cute together. Then Dipper face palmed because he remembered that uncle Seb had adopted her and if he thought about it too much he was going to scream. Well, uncle Ford was with Xin, not Miz. And he was pretty sure Ford wouldn't do anything with Miz. Urg, don't think about it!

He took a deep breath. Happy thoughts...happy thoughts...

The summer sky eventually turned black and Ford deemed it too late for the teens. It was only 10pm, but Ford had been left in charge and he had to take care of his brothers's children, no matter how old or 'mature' they claimed they were. The cousins and Phillip managed to convince Stanford to have pizza first and the six of them took a photo, under Phillip and Mabel's insistence, at the restaurant. Miz devoured an entire pizza on her own, prompting Phillip to ask if the food was needed for her to keep her powers working...which was technically a yes.

Phillip kissed Dillon good night, promised he would visit, and went to find his own car. The Pines put all their bags in the trunk, climbed into the car and sighed tiredly. Cool day, but they were tired. When they were back home, they found every adult passed out on the floor with their respective toddlers curled up next to one of them, a blanket they dragged from their rooms covering their tiny bodies.

It was adorable, but irresponsible as hell.

Miz floated everyone to their rooms and tucked them in properly. She and Ford said good night to the others and retired to their shared room. As Ford lay down with a tired sigh, walking around the mall all day was...exhausting, he felt Miz snuggle up to him. He looked down and smiled "Good night Miz."

"Night Fordsie."

Ford reached over to turn off the light. Miz nestled into his chest, already asleep and hugging the doll he bought her.

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