Slices of Life and Family

by bluefrostyy

PART 3 of The life of Sebastian Pines! (Read that first, I doubt you'll understand what's going on) The story follows Seb's life after Gravity Falls. Bill was defeated, but the Pines family still have thousands of adventures together. Old characters will come back, new characters will make an appearance, all to accompany Seb through his journey as a human (Cowritten with Mizuuma)

29. Fluff is what makes the world go round

Hello! I hope all of you are ok and staying at home! Hope you like this chapter! Drawing of Stanny and Carla in Deviantart!

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When Seb opened his eye, it was only to discover Wanda wasn't next to him. Urgh. His head was killing him but he smiled a bit. Today was his birthday~

He searched for the twins in Diego's room but they weren't there either, none of them. Seb scratched his head. Stan and Ford didn't take long to come out of their rooms as well.

"Fuck, my head wants to kill me…" Stan complained, but smiled and hugged his brothers. "Happy birthday, idiots."

"Happy birthday, Stanley." "Happy birthday, Fez!"

"Where IS everybody anyway? Carla isn't here…" Stan scratched his stomach. He knew Aaron and Sasha weren't here. He'd given them the summer off, paid vacation and all that. He figured they were safe enough, heck, they had the whole family here after all. At least… they were supposed to. "Wanda and the twins aren't here either and I checked, Shermie and Abi aren't here either…" Seb yawned. "Did they leave us here?" the three walked around the house but didn't find them. Ford noticed a note on the dining room table.

"I have no fingers and yet I point, I have no legs and yet I run. Although I have hands, they hold nothing. What am I?" He read off the piece of paper.

Stan stared at the paper. "Well, it was nice having a family I guess, I'm going back to sleep." He turned around and Seb stopped him. "Fuck you!" He laughed. "We need to find them!" He snatched the paper from Ford and read it again.

"Point...Run...Hands...Time? Clock?" Seb guessed.

"You suck, and your last name used to be Cipher?" Stan questioned. Seb flipped him off.

"Wait. I think he's got it." Ford walked over to the large clock on the wall. He inspected it and found another sheet of paper. "I start with M and end in X, yet the letters within me are never ending. What am I?"

"Why are they torturing us? Is it like that horror movie?" Stanley groaned.

"Shut up, this is fun!" Seb smiled. "But I don't have idea this time...genius?" He looked at his oldest brother for help. "What is it?" Ford frowned at it. "Letters…" he was somewhat stumped. Stanley rolled his eyes. "Well, while you two are messin' with that, I'm going to check the mail…"

"OF COURSE! Mailbox!" Ford cried. He and Seb ran outside to the mailbox and Stanley rolled his eyes. Nerds. He went out to see Ford pulling another note out of the mailbox. "If you drop me, I am sure to crack-"

"An egg!" Seb roared. Ford grimaced and continued reading. "-but give me a smile and I'll smile back."

"Oh. Mirror! That is definitely a mirror!" Seb smiled proudly. He was getting excited for the game, his leg bounced up and down.

"There's a bunch of mirrors in the house!" Stanley groaned. Ford hummed. "There's that large full body mirror in the main hallway." He said. "It's in the public area of the house and not in a bathroom or bedroom. Plus it's part of the wall."

"Eh. We can check it." Stan shrugged. The triplets went off to the mirror and Ford looked around. He made a startled cry when his hand sank into the glass. "Oh. I guess they got Miz to help with this little game." He grinned and stepped inside.

"I was wondering how they prepared everything so early. Come on, Fez! The sooner we finish this, the sooner we get to eat breakfast~" Seb grinned. "Ok! Move it then!" Stan shoved Seb through the mirror and he crossed as well.

They stepped into a room with doors all along the walls. In the center of the room was a table with another note. A lamp hung on the ceiling with a dangle chain. Ford went to the table and picked up the note while Stan looked behind him to notice the mirror they entered through was gone. "Ah...Ford?" Seb grinned at the sight. "Cool. Danger. I like it."

"To find the right door, simply answer this. I can't be seen, found, heard or smelled. I lie between stars and under hills. I fill empty holes and travel faster than light, I'm scarce in the day and everywhere at night. What am I?"

"Great we'll never get out!" Stan just wanted to get Diego's card and a nice breakfast. Now he was trapped in a mirror! "Darkness?" Seb ignored Stan sulking and looked at Ford. "Cuz, no darkness in the day…" He looked at the lamp hanging above them and pulled on the chain. The light went out and they all blinked to adjust. There was a trail of glowing footprints along the ground away from the table and towards a door.

"That's so cool!" Seb laughed and the youngest triplet followed the footsteps, followed by a grinning Ford and a relieved Stan. Seb opened the door. They found themselves in a pretty room with images along the walls. There was a book, a letter, a bucket, a cloud, a maple seed, a dandelion, and various other objects. Once more there was a table in the middle with a note. This time Seb snatched it up to read. "What moves without seeing and cries without eyes?" He sat on the table and thought. "What...moves…" Ford and Seb hummed aloud. Stan looked at the images. "Cloud." He suggested. "It doesn't cry...but water falls from it?"

"Brilliant Stanley!" Ford said. Stan grunted and pushed on the cloud. The section of wall slid up and there was a long, dark hallway. Seb ran inside while calling for his brothers to hurry up.

"Move your asses!" he was living for this. They came to a stop. Suddenly the ground swayed and Stanley nearly fell onto Ford. They looked up into the dark and noticed the outline of a door. Seb stood up and felt around until he found the doorknob. He opened it and stepped outside. "Holy FUCK!" The Stans went out and gasped as well.

They were on a boat.

Out in the middle of a beautiful ocean with warm sunlight and the cool ocean wind. The sails were proudly opened as the boat swept along through the waves.

"Woah…" Stan's eyes widened. Despite their dream having been just that, for the longest time he actually thought he could sail around the world with his genius triplets. The three of them against the world, hunting monsters and getting hot babes. "This...this is just like I imagined it…" He whispered, wiping a tear away before his triplets could see.

Ford looked around. Is this...he went over to the side of the ship and looked down. "Stanley...Sebastian…" He called to them. They came over as well to look down. There, emblazoned along the side of the ship...

Pines-o-War II

"No way…" Seb grabbed the wood tightly and looked down. It actually looked real… "Are we dreaming? Did Miz put us in a dream? I want ice cream rain!" He shouted to the blue clear sky and waited. To his disappointment, there wasn't any ice cream rain. Ford looked over at the horizon. "Wait. There's...land…" His brothers ran over to look as well. Yes. There was a sandy beach coming up. It was getting closer as they sailed towards it.

There was a 'poof' and a sheet of paper appeared in front of Stan. He grabbed it before it was blown away and read it out "What do you throw out when you need it but retrieve it when you don't?"

"A ball! Right?" He looked at his triplets. It made sense to him. Ford rolled his eyes. "Actually. I think they mean, an anchor." He said as their boat got close enough that they could see the beach clearly. "Yeah, that too." Stan blushed.

He walked over and found the anchor as Seb stared at the beach. There were tables and chairs set up along with their missing family, who were all cheering. ""HAPPY BIRTHDAY!""

The triplets smiled widely and jumped off the boat to run towards them. The first one who hugged the three men was their mother who smiled widely and thanked the skies they were once again celebrating their birthday together. "Happy birthday, my boys…" She whispered. Seb was tackled by his laughing twins and Diego clung to Stan's leg. "You did it! Was it hard?!" Diego questioned. "Was it too scary?!"

"Of course it was! But nothing scares your old man!" Stan hugged the kid laughing.

Ford smiled at his brother getting covered in sand and he saw Miz standing there with a smug grin. "You did this…" She nodded. "Everyone else helped. Mabel designed the Cloud room. She actually wanted to make it more difficult by making you have to tap on an actual cloud, but Dipper told her that was too difficult." She hugged her doll and fidgeted "The boat is my birthday gift to you three...do you like it?"

Ford looked at their boat. He didn't know what happened to the original, he had been too angry to care. Seeing the boat was like reliving the best memories he had. The adventure triplets against the world… "I love it…" He crouched and hugged his friend. Miz snuggled against him. She was glad, she worked hard on it. Finding the old, half destroyed from neglect, old one, restoring it...

Zoe crowned her dad with a yellow crown, they crowned Stan with a red one, and Ford received a blue crown. "Sit! Breakfast!" She pointed at the table. "Uncle Sixer gets to drink the smelly juice just because it's his birthday." Ford laughed as they brought him a coffee pot. There was a literal feast on the table. He wondered how long it took to cook everything. He also realized they were on Glass Shard Beach. Everyone must have moved here while they were still asleep. He supposed they would be heading back to New York after the party to get their stuff, or Miz would just teleport them here? Were all their belongings already here?

While Ford was overthinking, Seb ran up to kiss Wanda. "I see you're in your bathing suit early in the morning~" He grinned. She laughed. "Yeah. We were going to spend today on the beach." No one seemed to come to the beach. Kari explained that it was because most of the place was full of litter. Miz had fixed that, her power sweeping throughout the sand until they were clean, soft and glimmering. Kari said that they might have to change the name of the town once people realized what had happened. Phillip had lost his shit again at the apparently super magical girl.

The triplets found themselves wearing normal clothes, not their Pj's like how they started the adventure and music was turned on. First, the kids gave their Dad and Uncles the presents they made for them: handmade cards with pen holders made with little painted sticks. Mabel gave each triplet a box with a sweater. Ford's one read 'Made' , Stanley read 'in' and Seb 'the 70s.' Everyone laughed. "Now I want you to wear it forever!" She giggled.

The party was loud and boisterous. After all the presents and food, they brought out the cake. A huge three tiered monstrosity with a different type of cake for each layer. Chocolate, red velvet and funfetti. They sang loudly and off tune with altered lyrics (since the happy birthday song is still under copyright and cannot legally be used in this fic) before the triplets stood around the cake, a candle for each of them.

"Make a wish!" Carla cheered as she held up a camera to record this. The triplets hummed about what they wanted before blowing the candles, making everyone cheer and clap.

"I want to blow the candles too…" Zach pleaded and Seb happily picked his boy up. He created a little flame in his finger like a lighter and turned on the three candles again for the twins and Diego to blow them again.

Dillon's eyes widened and looked at his boyfriend, who was staring at his uncle Seb now. "Right! I will formally present to you, my other uncle." He grabbed Phillip's hand and dragged him over to where Seb was helping to cut the cake. "Uncle Seb, this is Phillip, my boyfriend!" He dramatically pointed at the awkward thin and tall teen. "Oh! So you're the kid Dillon neeever shuts up about?! He's a handsome one, good job, Dillon!" Uncle and nephew high-sixed.

Phillip blushed as he rubbed the back of his neck. Sebastian. He was like a dad to Dillon when Stanley was-kidnapped? That was how Dillon described it at least. His boyfriend was really fond of the man with really sharp teeth and just one eye.

"So, other Mr. Pines? How is it that you have powers? I know about your magic daughter, so cool, almost died, but your secret is safe with me." The ginger patted his chest. Seb smiled. "We just do." He shrugged. Phillip pouted, but didn't press the subject. He would get to know when he was officially family anyway. The thought made him smile like a dork.

They all settled down with the cake and chatted among themselves. Miz brought up that she wanted to introduce her Pines family to her Maniac family. Which brought up the question of what that meant. "Well, Seb and Wanda adopted me so I'm their daughter but out there-" she pointed up at the sky "-is a family that I adopted. They're like my sister and brothers and uncles...and one son... my other children died…"

Anyone not in the know stared at her. "What?"

Seb sighed. "Well, I might as well tell you." He turned to Kari, Abi and Phillip. Dillon grinned. Guess Phillip wouldn't have to wait to learn more stuff about his family. "Miz is a shapeshifting alien who's actually older than planet Earth itself." he scratched his head "But she, sometimes he, is a good friend of mine and my triplets. She's the reason they survived out there behind the portal and she helped me fix the portal to get them back."

Phillip, much quicker to put two and two together, Dillon's dad was kidnapped for 13 years, Miz was apparently an alien, Miz helped them get home…"Wait. So your dad was abducted by aliens for 13 years until a nice alien helped send them home...and then started living with you?"

The Pines, who were used to weirdness, shared a look. You know what? That worked. "Yes, kinda." Seb nodded. "You got it...almost right." He gave him thumbs up. "What...what does a portal have to do with this though?" The young man asked. Ford coughed. "I was building an interdimensional portal in my basement. There was an accident…"

"This is like the plot to a sci-fi movie…" Phillip groaned. "Yeah, more like a horror movie." Stan shuddered. "Space is a dangerous shit. The portal sucked both me and Ford into it. And we were completely sure we were gonna to die, but we luckily met Miz who helped us." He explained. "Not return, she couldn't reopen the portal from HER side, but she helped us be ready to face the dangers of alien worlds."

"She actually helped me fix the portal." Seb ruffled her hair. "I would have taken a little longer if we hadn't met that day." he grinned "And it was by chance. She was exploring the multiverse and happened to tumble out here, on Earth. Smacked into me when she fell too."

The little twins and Diego listened in awe as they ate cake. Woah. They didn't know all of this! "And then Miz became our sister!" Zoe squealed. Kari listened in shock. It was always upsetting to realize she was lied to for 13 years. She believed Stanford was dead, that Stanley had been kidnapped, basically dead! And they actually had been in another dimension. Unfortunately, she already pulled their ears for building crazy, dangerous stuff and for lying to their mother, so she couldn't do it again.

"Wow…" Phillip rested his head on Dillon's shoulder. "That's some crazy shit right there…"

Kari turned to Miz, dressed in a cute yellow bikini with ruffles along the chest and a skirt-like section for the lower half. "Thank you. For protecting my children and bringing them back to me." Miz blushed at the gratitude. "O-oh…" she wiggled in her seat, very happy at the feelings she was tasting from the old woman.

Phillip blinked. "Wait. If you're a shapeshifting alien, then this isn't your true form, right?" Miz nodded. "Then...what IS your true form?"

"My actual true form or the default form I enjoy using?" Miz asked. Phillip blinked. "There's a difference?"

"Well there's this thing where I can shed my vessel to reveal the real me, which is made of pure energy, but I think that drives people mad if they see it fully?" Miz turned to Ford "That's actually what Fiddleford saw when he got sucked halfway into the portal. He saw another of my kind shedding his exoskeleton to feed. In the Nightmare Realm. Things there look more intense than they normally do." In other words, poor Fiddleford had seen the Bill from THIS dimension. Ford and Seb shivered. Phillip blinked."So your true form is too horrible to watch?"

"Yup. And no. It's just… overwhelming for people who aren't prepared, especially if you're up close to it. Imagine like being suddenly in front of the sun, inches away from it. But there's my default form, which is what I looked like before I became a being of pure energy." Miz shrugged. Seb knew she could show them all her Bill form...but was it a good idea to do that? He didn't know.

"How did you meet Miz then?" Phillip asked Seb. "I guess she didn't appear before you in her true form?" Seb paused. "Not in her true form, no. She was in her default form which...um…" He looked over at her. "I essentially look like a triangle. My species were a race of geometric shapes." She shrugged. "Have you read the book Flatlands?"

"Are you kidding me? That is so fucking rad!" Phillip eyes widened. "Wow, wow hold up. Flatlands? From Edwin Abbott? I am almost sure we're related! The one that talks about dimensions?!" Dillon rolled his eyes. His boyfriend was such a nerd. Wait, he was related to the guy who wrote Flatlands?!

Miz nodded while Seb looked confused. Someone wrote a BOOK about the Flatlands? How the fuck?! "The Flatlands were real. Though, they weren't entirely like what the book says. Mister Abbott took some artistic liberties." Miz explained. "The gist of it is similar. It doesn't matter anymore though because the Flatlands were destroyed eons ago…" Miz looked sad for a second. Seb just grinned. "They were assholes, glad they died." He nodded solemnly. Phillip scratched his head confused. Well, in the book they were really strict, but a REAL society like that sounded horrible.

"Wait!" Phillip turned to Miz. "You're a triangle…" he gasped. How...awful had she been treated in her society? Miz sighed. "Yeah. I was the lowest caste. But it's fine. The Flatlands are long gone and there are only a few of us left. Sort of." She glanced at Seb. "The dead enter the cycle of reincarnation. Normally they get wiped clean of their past memories but some people retain them."

Phillip looked between Miz and Seb, picking up on what she was implying. "So, mister Sebastian is a reincarnated shape from the Flatlands who remembers his past life...and...is THAT why he has powers?"

Seb stared at how Miz easily manipulated Phillip into coming to his own conclusions that were both correct AND inaccurate. She was implying that Flatlanders were an alien species, that had weird powers, sidestepping the entire 'becoming a demon' thing and Seb's 'used to be Bill Cipher' thing. And this would also explain why Miz, a survivor from Flatland, stayed around Seb as the closest thing she had to her kind. Without having to explain the whole dimensional counterpart mess. Seb nearly whistled. She was GOOD.

And he had to give Phillip some credit. He was very intelligent!

Phillip started shaking Dillon's shoulders, almost making him drop the cake he was trying to eat. "You. Have. the. Best. Family. Dillon! AAH!" He squealed high-pitchedly. "Ahhh! AAHHH!" The ginger teen didn't even know what to say. He was talking to an alien! And a former alien! Who was his boyfriend's uncle.

Dipper and Mabel rolled their eyes. Newbie.

Miz grabbed a piece of cake and grinned. She was enjoying the emotions coming off him. He really was shook. She took a huge bite of the cake and moaned. She didn't make this cake, but damn, she needed to know where they bought this to congratulate them! Kari was staring at Sebastian. It was so weird to think he was a reincarnated alien. Hearing it at all felt like it was a huge revelation. But at the same time...it explained so many odd things she had noticed about Sebas growing up… and his magical powers.

She wondered if she would have been able to do better if she had just...known...

Seb smiled slightly, unaware of her thoughts and hugged her just because he was a hugger. He didn't know what he would have done if he hadn't had his mom growing up.

The blond twins hummed, their little faces covered in chocolate. They didn't know what re-cant-nated meant. "So we are aliens too?" Zoe smiled. Wanda crouched and wiped her face with a wet baby wipe. "No, you aren't. You just have powers. You're both perfectly human. And so is Sebastain."

Zach pouted. "Not fun." He said and everyone laughed. Zach hummed at the idea of dying and getting born again. That sounded...

"So...you're like...the last of your kind?" Phillip asked, very fascinated. Miz nodded. "Sort of. There are a couple other Flatlanders somewhere out in the multiverse. There was one who went insane and started wanting to destroy other planets to hide from his own grief…"

The Stans, Seb and the older twins winced.

"...and he had to be put down for the safety of everyone else." Miz finished. Seb rubbed at his missing eye, both remembering his and Bill's death. "Yeah. That sucked."

"Cool~" Phillip giggled and hugged Dillon's arm. He looked at his cake and stole a bite. "Hey!" Dillon protested. "Can I see your shape form then?" Phillip asked Miz. Dillon smacked his arm. "Don't be rude!" Miz looked around. "Not here, but tonight, when I take you all to meet my alien family."

"Are they the other surviving Flatlanders?" Phillip asked. Miz shook her head. "Some of them look like it, but no, we're all different species." She grinned. "I've been telling them about my human family and parents, they really want to meet you all." Everyone cooed and aww'ed. Ford smiled at the memory of Miz's friends. Now that he wasn't scared as fuck, it would be nice to see them again, maybe talk more to them. That alternative 8-Ball had been interesting, but he knew Stanley, at least, would like to see his old friend 8-Ball again.

The kids got bored of being on the sand and went to the shore to play. They were going to make sandcastles. Seb watched them closely. This fucking waters almost killed him when he was around their age. The teens also went to the water, farther away, and they struggled to take a cool photo. Everytime they managed to get the best pose, waves came and knocked them down.

Ford sat down and Miz crawled on his lap. "Do you want to go into the water? We won't laugh at your tattoo~" she teased, poking at his neck. Ford rolled his eyes. "Regardless, I think I'd much rather just enjoy the view." he pet her hair and she purred against him. They just sat and enjoyed each other's company for a while before Miz spoke up "You know, there is ONE problem with all this."

"What's that?" Ford asked. Miz leaned against his chest "I have no idea how I'm supposed to top this for your next birthday." Ford hugged her. "You don't have to. A simple quiet birthday is good too."

"Really?" She pouted. "Yes, I just...enjoy being with my family…" Ford said softly. There. He said it. He liked quiet and peace, he was in love with his work, but he didn't want to be like Miz called him out for. He liked being with his family, he just didn't know how to. His people skills weren't good like Stan's. Even with his therapy, Ford just… wasn't like Stan. He didn't need to be around people all the time to be happy. But… quiet time like this, with a small group of people, wasn't bad. Miz looked up at him. She booped his nose. "Dummy. They're happy just being around you too. You don't need people skills to be with people you care about."

"Miz! Come on! The water's actually warm for once!" Seb and Stan called. The one eyed man had gone out to play with his kids in the shallows, partially because he was worried and partially because Zach and Zoe had dragged him over. Stan was just splashing around with no embarrassment at his behavior. Diego was embarrassed enough FOR him.

Miz grinned and got up. "You sure you're not coming?" She asked Ford.

Ford nudged her forward. "Yes, yes. Go play with them." He smiled slightly. Miz grinned. "You know where to find us if you change your mind." the quiet scientist nodded solemnly. He felt someone sitting next to him. He looked up and saw his mom. She put on her huge sunglasses. She wouldn't force Stanford to go to the water if he didn't want to, he was a grown up man after all, but she wanted to accompany him.

"Yes?"

"What? I can't sit next to my eldest son?" She questioned. "N-No...I mean, of course you can…" It has been a while since he had seen his mother. Ford wasn't sure what to say to her. Before, there were others around to talk to her as well, but he was alone with her now. He didn't know if he should try to strike up conversation or just sit there awkwardly.

Kari knew how to talk to her boys though. "How is your research going?" She never understood half the things Ford talked about as a kid, even less now, but it made him happy to talk about science. "Oh! We are actually doing quite well! I have been making progress and my colleagues are working hard. I am sure in a few years we will have potable water everywhere! There was also this woman working on-" Kari smiled. There it was. His face was so animated when he spoke of his work. He was in his 40s now but if it involved science, he was every bit the excited child she remembered.

"Guys! Group photo!" Mabel spat her wet hair out of her mouth and picked up Zach to run back to shore. Zach squealed. He liked being carried. Everyone went to the sand, complaining at the sand sticking to their wet, salty bodies and Mabel searched for her selfie stick in the bag she brought. It was practically luggage, but she had to bring the essentials for a beach day! Besides, Dipper put his clothes in her bag too. Everyone crowded around Ford and Kari, both of them complaining when Seb and Stan hugged them and got their clothes wet as Mabel shouted. "Ok! Shut up and smile!"

"Say something stupid!" Stan smiled and everyone made a funny face. "Something stupid!" Click! Photo taken.

(Insert picture here maybe)

They spent the entire day at the beach. The triplets noticed their family had everything planned. They pulled sandwiches and snacks from baskets and they had a cool picnic in front of the sea. The ship bobbed, sunlight shining off it's sails, which had folded back up.

Zoe whined, disgusted at a bird who approached her to try to steal her food and she threw a rock at it with all her might, hitting the animal right in the eye. It shrieked and squawked, flaring its wings. The little girl screamed loudly, scared. Seb ran over and waved his arms. "Shoo! Go away!" The bird squawked one last time before flying off. Seb growled. Damn seagulls.

Zoe sniffed and clung to her dad. "Kill it!" She sobbed. "We already talked about this, no killing unless the other one started it." Seb said. "No killing at all!" Wanda shouted from her where she was lounging on a towel.

"But that bird started it!" Zoe huffed and didn't let go. Stupid birds…

"...I can make chicken for dinner tonight?" Miz offered. Zoe brightened up. "Yes! Kill the birds!" Seb rolled his eye and sat her on his lap to continue eating. Zoe stole bites from his sandwich but he didn't mind. Miz was walking up to some seagulls and trying to entice them closer. Stanley groaned "Don't encourage them!"

"But I wanna pet them…" Miz whined as she carefully held out a bit of her sandwich. "Come on~it's not like I'm going to eat you~" she sang.

"No! Don't get it closer!" Zoe cried. Seb sighed. "Miz, be careful." The demon nodded and crept closer. Almost...the seagull snatched her sandwich and flew off, knocking her over as it went "Ah!" She sputtered and shook her fist at the retreating bird. "YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE-!" Everyone laughed as the girl stood up angrily. She looked at Zoe who was giving her a 'I told you so' look. "Yeah...well…" Miz blushed and folded her arms "I didn't want to pet you anyway! Baka!" Phillip choked on his soda. "She's a Tsundere alien!?"

"I STILL don't know what that means?!" Sebastian groaned as he flopped over onto the sand. Dillon, Dipper and Mabel burst out laughing. "You should ask Soos about it sometime." Dipper said as he tried to catch his breath.

"Yeah, I guess I-What the fuck, Soos hasn't called me for my birthday!" Seb gasped. "There is no respect anymore." Miz poked his stomach, making Seb laugh. "Soos is in Oregon. We're in New Jersey. Do the math."

"Three hours." Seb rolled in the warm sand with a grin. Wanda sighed. He better shower before getting in their room. "I want my call!"

"Call from Uncle Soos!" The twins jumped over their Dad and started burying him. "Help! I'm getting buried alive!" The man wailed. "Miz! Help!" Miz sat next to him and sighed. "Alas, I can do nothing, for sometimes, being buried is how we all feel, when the despair of the unfeeling world gets to be too much~"

"Don't give me that philosophical bullshit! Miiiiiiiz!" Seb coughed when the twins poured sand on his face. "Hey! That's not how you do it! HELP ME! I'm going to die!" He cried desperately. The twins were going to kill him! Stan leaned back and put his hairy arms behind his head "You're on your own." Ford frowned, unsure if such an activity would actually kill him. "Perhaps you can put sand on his legs and body so he cannot escape, but leave his face free so he can continue to scream?" He said, following what he logically knew from the twin's dispositions to appeal to them.

The kids gasped and gave their uncle a huge fanged smile before moving the sand from their crying dad's face to his neck and body. "Thanks, Uncle Fordsie!" They said adorably before continuing torturing their dad. Everyone else stared at Ford in shock.

"What the heck, I said help, Stanford!" Seb glared and his brother blinked. "But now it is at least safer, you can't choke on the sand, and your children are happy." Ford argued with a shrug. Miz tilted her head "That makes sense to me." Everyone groaned. These two.

"Well...if I'm going to be buried alive...I would like a juice pack please." Seb gave in. Miz took one of the fruit punch packets and stabbed it with the straw before placing it next to Seb's head. "Thanks." He sucked on his drink and pouted as Zach and Zoe continued to pile sand onto him. He coughed when he felt himself gulping down sand. Urgh, little demons torturing him!

Diego joined his cousins after his father allowed him and Seb simply laid down and closed his eye. "Wanda, can you write my will for me?" His wife rolled her green eyes. "You're so dramatic, honey…" Mabel looked at her twin. "Do you want to get buried?!"

"No." Dipper deadpanned. "He said yes! Come on, guys! Help me!" Mabel, Dillon and Phillip stood up and chased Dipper. "Get him!" Mabel cried and her brother screamed. "HELP!" Dipper was dragged to the ground and quickly beset by his cousins. Dipper reached out to his parents "Mom...dad...help~"

Shermie put on his sunglasses and closed his eyes as Abigail napped on a towel to try and get a tan. "That's great, Dipper…" He mumbled without even looking up. Dipper stared at Seb and they both gave a sad sigh. Abandoned by their family's at a time of need. If their arms were free they would have fist bumped.

Dillon and Phillip grinned before putting Dipper above Seb who was already covered in sand and started covering Dipper who continued struggling. Their little cousins helped by bringing water and wet sand to make it more dense and difficult to escape later. Miz didn't help but she didn't hinder them either. "Looks like you guys are going to spend some quality time together."

"Miz, I don't like this, help us!" Dipper was already unable to stand up and in the way he was positioned, he formed an X with Sebastian. "I have resigned myself. The water will rise and we will die." Seb said solemnly. "Daaad! Tell Mabel to stop!" the boy cried. Zoe lifted his brown bangs to look at his birthmark. "Ooh~ Pretty!"

Miz sat on the sand and patted Seb's curly and sand-covered hair. "I wouldn't let you two die." She assured him. "But think of it this way~the sand is going to make your skin super smooth once we dig you guys out." That caught Seb's attention. "Like, exfoliating?" Miz nodded, "More like sanding off all the dead skin." The birthday man grinned and closed his eye. "Ok!" He squealed excitedly. Dipper didn't care and continued struggling. "I don't want smooth skiiiiin!"

Half an hour passed and Dipper realized he wouldn't be let go. He lifted his head a bit and found out Seb had fallen asleep. Good thing the sun was being blocked from their heads, because they would have ended up all burned and red. Their family didn't have much luck getting a tan. Everyone packed up as the sun began setting after their long day on the beach. "How're we getting back to New York?" Stan asked. Miz pointed at the boat. "Once we're out of sight from the shore, I can teleport us. Then I just shrink the boat down so you can keep it around and deploy it whenever you want to go sailing." She thought it was dumb to have to go back to New York, but the hotel rooms in Jersey weren't until later. And apparently the adults wanted to do some sight seeing in New York first.

Stan and Phillip grinned. "Magic is GREAT!"

The teens and the children helped Dipper and Seb escape from their sand prison and everyone got in the boat. "I don't wanna leave…" Zoe pouted as Wanda carried her to the boat. "We'll come back, don't worry."

Miz rubbed her palms together. Take the family to New York, make sure they were absolutely clean from sand, she didn't want it in the house, and then take them to meet her other family. She should tell Pyronica or Hec so they could tell everybody, though it would be hilarious to see their shocked expressions when she came in with so many humans! Well, she would have to build a construct for all of them first. Ugh.

Once everyone got on the ship and Stan pulled up the anchor, Miz flung the sails out and they took off into the sunset. Mabel was taking photos like crazy. Phillip and Dillon were doing the Titenic pose, while Stan shouted "Hey! Hands off there!" from the background. Miz waved her hand to dry and clean everyone. Hm...it was going to get cold here soon, she should ask Mabel for some sweaters.

Seb snuck up behind Stanford who was watching the horizon and shouted. "BLERGH!" Stanford jumped and he would have thrown his triplet off board if he hadn't calmed down fast enough. "Dammit, Sebastian, don't do that!"

Seb was laughing but he had a hand on his chest as his heart hammered against his ribcage. "Wo-Worth it…" he gasped. Ford rolled his eyes. "I'm still tempted to throw you overboard." Mabel ran by and threw sweaters at them. "SWEATERS FOR EVERYONE!" Ford pulled the sweater off his face. "Do we really need this? We're going to be at Stan's house soon."

Mabel scoffed. "It's still going to be cold once it's night time. Besides, you need to wear your birthday sweaters!"

Ford rolled his eyes with a smile. "Right…" He put on the soft garment and his niece squealed, hugged him and ran away to give everyone their sweaters. Zoe and Zach trailed after her, wanting to help deliver them. "How did you make them so fast?" Zach questioned. Mabel gave him two sweaters so he could give Stan and Carla. "You aren't the only one with superpowers, Zachy." She poked his nose. He gasped. Sweater super powers. That sounded amazing.

Miz looked over. "Ok, I think we're far enough. Teleporting in...3...2...1…"

Everyone braced themselves as they were swept away into the air and reappeared in Stan's living room. ""Oof!"" Miz floated down gently and landed to sit on top of the pile. "Woot! Successful transport!"

The humans all stumbled and groaned, still not used to teleportation. Miz clapped her hands as the Pines stood up. "Clean yourself, I cleaned the sand off you, but even I can't do much for your general ickyness! And be fast, I want you to meet my other family!" She smiled widely. She was going to eat, needed a lot of energy to create 15 vessels! She went off to order some pizzas and subs.

Everyone obeyed the demon/alien. Dillon almost managed to sneak Phillip into his room, but Stan caught him and sent him to another bathroom with a stern look. No funny business in his house, not one he could potentially see at least...he hoped Ford and Miz weren't doing anything.

They weren't. Miz was busy preparing herself some snacks to tide her over until the food delivery arrived. Should she feed the Pines? Nah, their constructs wouldn't feel hunger anyway, and they could eat with her if they wanted to! She hummed happily to herself as she searched for her ingredients to make the best dinner ever. What will they think about them? They said they were excited about meeting them, but what if they didn't like them?

Everyone came down to see multiple boxes of pizza and many subs lying around along with a gorgeous spread of other food. Miz was already inhaling the subs. Wanda sighed. How much did this demon eat? "Pizza!" The teens and children squealed and went to grab a slice. Miz laughed. "There's plenty of food."

"Zoe, wait! Let me dry your hair!" Seb went after her and wrapped a hat towel on her long hair. Everyone sat around to get some food too. "Once we're done eating and it's time for bed, I can bring you all to my world through your dreams."

"Sleepover!" Mabel and Phillip squealed. Stan grumbled but accepted the sleepover. He knew Phillip was a good boy. Carla patted his arm proudly.

The family finished eating and Miz sent them to sleep. She would take no buts and no fucks. She was too excited. The Pines said their goodnights and Miz pushed Ford into their room. Ford tilted his head and the demon narrowed her eyes. "Can you sleep? I can't take you there if you don't!"

Ford rolled his eyes and laid down on the bed. "You are quite excited about this." Miz sat down next to him. "Of course I am!" her tail popped out to wag back and forth. "I want you guys to meet each other...I hope you all like each other…" Ford pet her head. "Well Stanley and I like them. I'm sure it'll be ok." He laid down and relaxed. "Good night Miz." She laid on his chest and sighed. "Night Fordsie."

Everyone opened their eyes to find themselves floating in a dark void. Stars twinkled in the distance. Everyone panicked for a second before they saw Miz floating with them. There was a huge pyramid floating below them that caused a few instinctive flinches from the Weirdmageddon survivors. "Whoa." Shermie waved his arms. "Is this...space?"

"Is that your spaceship?!" Phillip cried. Miz giggled and floated them all to the large triangular opening on the side of the Death Star. "It's technically a ship. I haven't really flown it anywhere though, so it's more like my house." The group touched down on the ground and stumbled slightly. Miz looked around. Still early 'morning' so her friends should be waking up soon. She floated there and looked at the humans. "Um...so...I'm going into my triangle form now. So, don't freak out or anything…"

Phillip nodded eagerly, Kari just raised an eyebrow and Shermie and Abi nodded. "Oh I am so ready!" The ginger teen grinned. Miz closed her eyes and began glowing. Her body came apart back into free floating particles and rebuilt themselves into the shape of a 5ft tall triangle. She kept her dress, just to make it clear it was still her. She opened her eye to see everyone staring at her.

Seb's family were deadpanning, used to her triangle form, Ford was a little more comfortable with her form, the dress really helped. Stan was calm but his family was gaping slightly at Bill. Dillon suddenly remembered Mabel described Bill Cipher like a 'fancy jerk'. Miz did have a top hat and a bowtie like the twins said, along with the little dress. Said twins looked a little awkward while their parents gaped in surprise. Kari blinked, she had expected a more...alien form, this form was kinda adorable, and quite familiar…Phillip lost his shit.

"Holy fuck! You look so fucking cool! You really are a triangle! And you have one eye!" He cried.

Bill rubbed her arm self-consciously. "My friends are more used to this form…" Wanda patted her top hat. "Bill, it's ok, honey." Wanda smiled. The triangle hugged her before turning to look at everyone. "Ok, your bodies are in your dimension, I brought your minds here, and I will create bodies for you to wear, it's the only way you can interact with everyone."

"Our bodies…" Shermie looked down at himself, seeing his body was transparent. Oh.

"I want wings!" Zoe wiggled in her place. "Pretty wings!" Bill flicked her fingers, "Done." Zoe felt herself materialize and felt something on her back. She looked behind herself to see glimmering butterfly wings. "WINGS!" She tried opening them but it was hard.

Wanda frowned worriedly but Seb patted her shoulder. "It's just a construct, it's not her real body." Bill flicked her fingers again and everyone gasped when their new bodies materialized. "Any requests? I can do alterations?"

It was so much easier to shapeshift constructs than people's real bodies. She could design the constructs without pain receptors after all! She normally kept them because pain was a danger sense but if it was going to be a fun short term thing for the Pines family, she forwent that part of the construction process.

"Give Dipper a deer body!" Seb teased and Shermie hugged his son to himself. "Don't you dare!" He growled but Mabel stepped in front. "I want wings! Angel wings! All fluffy and pretty!" the adults rolled their eyes but Dillon groaned when Phillip jumped. "I want horns! Like a demon! And a tail!" He wiggled excitedly. This was so FUCKING cool!

Miz waved her hand and Dipper groaned when he looked down at his body and realized he had a tail and deer ears now. "Really?!" He blinked and touched his head. "I've got antlers?!" He didn't have antlers before...then again, he was a child back then. At least he wasn't a full deertaur this time. Mabel was flapping her new wings awkwardly as she tried to fly. Phillip gasped at his tail. He grinned mischievously at Dillon. "Hey~does this make me an incubus?" He purred.

"I don't know what that is...but say it again." Dillon flirted and hugged his boyfriend. Phillip wrapped his tail around Dillon's leg. "Ah! No! Stop!" Stan ordered and Dillon scowled at him for ruining his fun. Bill laughed. "You all are so boring! Too used to your bodies." She gave everyone else a construct. She sighed. She had wanted to see them all different.

"Hey~ This body looks familiar." Seb mused as he examined his arms. Bill giggled awkwardly. "Well~ I think you looked so nice in that form!" It was a mix between his normal human form and the vessel she created for him in Blue's dimension. His hair was sticking up and glowing half yellow, his eye was a lighter brown while his arms had black markings.

"I can give you your normal body if you want?" "Nah, it's ok." Seb reassured Bill before showing off to Wanda who was gaping with conflicted emotions.

Oh well. "My friends should be waking up soon, I need to go make breakfast."

"Wait. Isn't it nighttime?" Stan asked. Bill nodded. "In YOUR dimension it is. Here it's early morning." "Oh." Stan nodded.

"Oh! Almost forgot! Boop!" She smiled and the Pines except Stan and Ford gasped when they felt a shiver run down their spines. "Now you can talk to them! Wait here! I will go find everyone!" Bill squealed and flew away. As Bill left the room, Dipper and Mabel looked around warily. It was the Fearamid...but...not? The one they had been in 5 years ago had been pretty empty, lots of free space for dancing demons. This one though…

"They've got a huge flat screen TV?" Mabel gasped. "They have...video game systems?" Dipper's eyes sparkled. He looked at the consoles and shelves of what were clearly alien video games. He could recognize a controller even if the buttons looked different. So cool~

Dillon and Phillip stared at the Space Idol Jan-Jan posters along a wall. Mabel gasped when she saw them too. "Ooh~who is THIS alien hottie?" The ginger's tail started wagging and Mabel twitched her wings with a grin. "He looks kinda human, though? I mean, aside from the extra arms..." Dipper commented and his cousins drooled. He rolled his eyes. "Even in space, there's divas…" He muttered.

Seb looked around the place too. Huh. So this was Bill's home? It looked quite cozy here. The couches were all soft looking and there were large, colorful pillows everywhere. He saw Stan turning on the TV (Right, he and Ford had been here before), then at the teens staring at a poster and raised an eyebrow. Bill liked a singer? He didn't know that. He heard the sounds of pattering footsteps and clinking chains. Seb looked over and saw a large green ogre run into the room.

"STAAAAAN!" 8-Ball rumbled with joy. Stan looked up and grinned. "Eights!" He leaped off the sofa and landed on the ogre in a bear hug. "How've you been, man?" The two laughed. Shermie stared at the large creature...alien? His eyes widened when a GIANT ALIEN LADY sauntered into the room. Those hips though! And she was pretty much naked. Holy shit!

"Stanny! Fordsie!" She squealed. "I haven't seen you cuties in forever!" She licked her lips. "My~you look even more delicious than I remember~" Carla scowled. What the heck was she talking about? "Haha! You look awesome yourself, Hot stuff!" Stan used the nickname he gave her years ago. Carla, picking up Diego for a better effect, stomped towards her husband. "Stan? What's happening? Who is this woman?"

Stan sweated. "Ah...it's not like that, I swear! Pyronica's just a friend." Said Cyclopian blinked down at Carla. "Ooh~is this your mate? She's pretty." She crouched down to look at them. "Is this your child? He's so small!" Diego stared up at her in awe.

"You are a Cyclops!" He exclaimed with a grin. Carla relaxed at the fact that she wasn't really flirting with her man. "Oh, his name is Diego, I am Carla." She introduced herself. "And, yeah, I am Stan's mate." She grinned proudly. Pyronica still couldn't believe how humans made babies so small. "Hey, Dillon, stop flirting with your boyfriend and come over here." Pyronica saw a young man who resembled Carla trot over them. "This is my older son, Dillon!" Stan introduced him proudly.

"'Sup?"

8-Ball crouched to look at Diego when Carla put him on the floor. "He is tiny…" The ogre tilted his head to look at it. A small gelatin-like creature poked its head out from 8-Ball's side and squeaked. "Here Toobie. A baby. Like you." 8-Ball pulled the squishy alien down and placed him in front of Diego. "I'm no' tiny! I'm almost five! I'm a big boy now!" Diego protested. 8-Ball gasped. "Five years old? How are you capable of speech? And...movement?" He poked the child gently. "Nymphs take at LEAST 10 years to develop that much… and Toobie still can't talk yet!"

Diego giggled. "I can also write my name, and everyone's names, and the colors, and I know how to read and count till 100!" 8-Ball gasped again. Humans were so intelligent! Was that why Bill liked them so much?! Seb stared with his jaw dropped at Pyronica talking to Stan and Ford. It was weird, they had fought against their other dimensional self just 5 years ago...

The rest of the Pines awkwardly waited for Bill to return. A couple other aliens came out and greeted Stan and Ford. Kryptos came out, sneered at Ford and turned to leave. "I'm gonna help Bill in the kitchen." He muttered.

"Bill?" Shermie asked. Seb sighed. "Miz uses a different name for each of her different forms. So, triangle is Bill, little girl is Miz, adult man is Xin and cyclops is William." The other Pines stared. "That's so confusing."

Seb shrugged and smiled. "You get used to it." Dipper tensed up when Teeth and 8-Ball approached him to say hi. "Don't eat me." The teen pleaded with a wince, his fluffy, brown ears falling. Teeth gasped. "W-why would we eat you? You're...Bill's human family right? He told us about you."

8-Ball stared at Dipper. "Are you Bill's new little brother? He didn't really explain it too much." Dipper calmed a little. These two...seemed very different from the ones he met during Weirdmageddon. Dipper shook his head. "I'm Mi-er...Bill's cousin now." 8-Ball gave Dipper a lopsided smile. "I used ta have brothers an' sisters until my sire threw me out for my weird eyes." He shook his head and his eyes made crackling sounds. "So I'm glad Bill's got some brethren now. He's been a lot calmer an' happier recently."

"Oh, really?" Dipper tried to spot Bill, but he wasn't in the living room. Where was she anyway? Also, pronouns were confusing Dipper at the moment.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Bill sighed at Kryptos' whine. "Why did you bring them again?" the compass complained as he helped Bill stack the sandwiches. "Well, it was their birthday and I wanted you all to meet my other family." Bill pouted. "You haven't even seen Seb and my mom."

"I don't need to. I know what Stanford and Stanley look like." Kryptos sighed. Bill nudged him. "This is different. Seb and Wanda are my PARENTS. Don't you want to meet my parents?"

Kryptos blushed. "Oh. Well…" he grinned. "So you're introducing me to your parents huh?" Bill nodded, unsure what those emotions he was tasting meant. Eagerness, giddy anticipation...

Bill shrugged. Guess Kryptos was more excited to meet his family than he thought. He carried the breakfast for his friends and floated back out to the living room. "You'll like them. My new mom is really nice." Kryptos smiled. "I will be the perfect gentleman around them." he assured her and Bill gave him a hug "Thanks Kryp."

They went out to the living room where the rest of his maniacs were sitting around, chatting with the humans. Bill saw Dillon, Phillip and Mabel in front of the posters of himself as Jan-Jan. It was kind of narcissistic but he actually really liked those promotional posters Ivan made him pose for. He looked good in them~

Keyhole was chatting with them. "Yeah! Space idol Jan-Jan is the BEST. I've got all his songs downloaded into my e-Pod." He held up his music player. "Maybe Jan can give us a private concert later."

"Wait, you guys can rent him out for a private concert?" Dillon asked. Keyhole gave him a strange look before he realized. "Oh. You didn't know. Jan is one of Bill's other identities." The three stared at the alien. "Wait. Wait. You mean...that little girl...can turn into a super hot guy as well as a triangle?" Phillip asked. Mabel giggled. "I've actually seen her in another hot guy form. And you did too~ right Dillon?" Dillon grinned "Such a nice ass…" The two sighed. "We should ask him to go back into his Xin form at some point." Mabel said.

Phillip looked over to see Miz...ah...Bill, come back into the room, huge plate of sandwiches held in front of him. "Well, no time like the present. Let's ask him to turn into sexy eye candy." Keyhole tilted his head in confusion. Eye candy? Like candy you eat with your eyes? The only person he knew who ate with their eyes was Bill. He was certain humans didn't, Stan and Ford ate with their mouths, so he wasn't sure what they meant.

Zoe and Zach were saying hi to all the nice aliens because they were Bill's friends and enjoyed the coos and compliments they received. They approached the coolest alien, the pink cyclops, last. "Hi! We like the fire you're making." Zoe pointed out. "We can do it too! Do you want to see?" They asked innocently. Seb and Wanda winced a bit and ran towards the twins. "Hey, don't bother Pyronica." They picked up one kid each. "We just said we liked her fire all around her body." Zach replied.

Pyronica stared down at the children. Oh. They were so small. They looked so delicate...fragile. "It's fine. They're not bothering me." She assured the parents. "So...are you two the humans who adopted Bill?" she looked them over. Bill had said his new mother was yellow-ish. She approved. It made sense for Bill to have a yellow mother, in her humble opinion.

.

"Yeah, I'm Wanda…" She felt a little intimidated standing in front of the huge woman, but she seemed nice. "You must be Pyronica, Bill talks a lot about you." "A lot." Seb smiled. "I'm Sebastian, Stan and Ford's triplet."

"Really? You don't look a lot like them." Pyronica shrugged. He was shorter, and he was missing an eye. Humans had two of them, "But he is!" Zoe insisted, wanting to flap her new wings but dad was crushing them. "I'm Zoe, and he is my brother Zach." She pointed at the other kid.

"Hello~" Pyronica cooed. Human babies were so cute! Bill suddenly floated towards them. "So~I see you've met~" Bill nudged his best friend "So? What do you think? Aren't they amazing?" Pyronica laughed. "I only JUST met them, Bill!"

Bill hugged the four Pines. "Well, they just are!" Wanda hugged him back. They let go and Bill floated around, making sure her guests were comfortable. They seemed to be doing fine, that was good, it was a relief. Kryptos floated over, kind of unsure how to approach. The twins wanted space breakfast and as Seb handed them one sandwich from the table, Bill pulled Kryptos towards them. "Kryptos, this is Sebastian and Wanda, my adoptive parents. Seb, mom, this is Kryptos."

"He-hello." Kryptos stared at them. "I thought you said Sebastian was their triplet. They look nothing alike." He commented. Seb groaned. "What do you all say that?" Kryptos tilted "Well they have two eyes. You have one."

"Yeah, well, I don't have an eye." Seb said and lifted the eyepatch for the alien to see. Kryptos grimaced at the red and black scars under the black eyepatch. "But I still look like them."

"You also shorter." Zach added usefully. Seb deadpanned. "Yeah, that too." He didn't like how everyone always pointed that out. Not that he was ashamed of his height but it was sad that he didn't match his triplets. Kryptos floated down. "So...you two are Bill's new brother and sister?" He smiled. They were very cute. That Sebastian man was also someone he approved of. He could feel the power coming out of them. A shame his mate appeared to be a boring human. Kryptos could admit he liked her yellow hair though. "Well, it's very nice to meet you two." He held out his hand for a shake.

"Why are you wearing gloves? Are you cold?" Zoe pulled it out to see one without giving poor Kryptos any time to prevent it. The little girl looked at the little glove and giggled. "They are so little like dolly gloves!"

"Zoe!" Seb snatched the glove from her and gave it back to Kryptos, who was cradling his hand to his front. "I am so sorry, man…" He smiled sheepishly. Kryptos smiled shakily back. "It's fine...I have to wear them because I still have a little trouble with my powers and Bill made me gloves to help block them." Wanda and Seb stared at the crackling electricity they could see along his hand. Zach noticed as well, not distracted with trying to escape from his mom's arms, and gasped. "Are you like a Pikachu? Can you shoot electricity to the meanies?"

"Pikachu?! Where?!" Zoe struggled even more and Seb held her tighter. "I am stronger though because I have fire!" Kryptos pulled his glove back on. "What's a pikachu?"

"A Backpack monster!" Zoe gasped. "How can't you not know?! They are the best and they are adorable!"

"Maybe they don't have bakemon here." Wanda said simply. "Yeah, go bother Uncle Sixer, look, he's just sitting there alone!" Seb pointed and the twins ran towards their uncle with the intention of crushing him. Kryptos laughed nervously when he realized he was alone with the adults. What should he say? "So, how has Bill been over on your side?" He asked. Might as well get some answers. All they knew was Bill ran off to grieve in another dimension and felt somewhat better, though no less sad, when he returned.

And he's been doing much better since then. It's been nearly a thousand years since the twins and Quackers passed away. Kryptos sighed. Sometimes he wished they HAD taken Bill's offer.

"We know she is still grieving, but ever since we took her in, we've tried to make her feel better. She is doing so much better, but something like that isn't forgotten easily." Wanda sighed. "She just spends time with us, help us and teaches the twins." Kryptos nodded at that. Of course she would. Bill liked teaching, she loved kids. "Oh, she also helps Ford at his research center! They love working together" Seb added with a smile. Ford REALLY looked forward to his meetings with Bill~

Kryptos hid a scowl. "Oh." He tried to be polite. He sighed. "I guess Bill can't help but want to help people." It was one of the things he loved about her but it was annoying that she had to go out of her way to help that man. Frankly, if that Ford man was less boring he might have accepted Bill's unnatural fascination with him but he was a boring stick in the mud. Why did Bill enjoy hanging out with him so much? Well. At least they were just doing science together. "What do they do together?"

Seb shrugged. "Not sure. I think Sixer mentioned he was working on a water purifier."

You see? Boring. Kryptos made much better stuff than him and he didn't get to do science with Bill as often...of course, Kryptos admitted it was because his own vast intellect meant he didn't need as much help and hand holding as that human surely did.

"How is Bill over here?" Wanda asked the alien, both her and Seb oblivious to his jealousy toward Stanford. "Do you think she's getting better?" Kryptos sighed and looked at the woman to answer. "She is happier…" He nodded. "She hasn't broken down screaming in at least 60 years. That's an improvement." Wanda and Seb winced. "Wa-was it a normal thing? For her to just...break down?"

Kryptos nodded solemnly. "Sometimes Bill just starts crying out of nowhere. Just...besides herself. Like she couldn't take it anymore and can't even tell us what's wrong because all she can do is cry until she passes out." He rubbed his plane. "But like I said, she hasn't had a relapse in around 60 years now. Hectorgon says she might finally be improving. I've also noticed she's a lot more cuddly." He blushed. He enjoyed that.

They certainly didn't like how Kryptos talked so easily about Bill crying. She didn't cry with them, why didn't she? It would be better for her to come to them if she was feeling down so they could help…

"Bill is really cuddly." Seb agreed as he grabbed a sandwich from the table. He sniffed them. What were they made of? "I guess it's a good thing. She seems like she needs all the hugs she can get." He took the sandwich to his mouth and chewed. Oh! He liked it! Kryptos blushed harder. He was grateful that living with humans made Bill more open to cuddles. He thought of how Bill had excitedly jumped onto his bed, claiming she wanted a sleepover a few months ago. That had been nice.

"Bill! Can't you turn into your sexy form and sing for us?" Mabel asked as she bounced excitedly in front of him. Bill blinked. "Oh. You know about my Jan form?" Mabel nodded. "I wanna see it! Not just as a poster! Please?" Bill hummed but then saw Dillon and Phillip giving him huge pleading brown eyes. "Please~?" The boyfriends begged. She nodded. "Ok! Fine! Just because I ship you two!" Mabel high-fived the boys.

Bill's triangle form started changing, the teens and Keyhole grinned excitedly. Jan blinked and examined his body. Perfect as always. He shook his hands and rotated his shoulders to get settled back into a 4 armed form. Everyone jumped when the young couple and Mabel screamed. "You look SO much better in person!"

The twins and Diego, who were examining the games Bill had, rolled their eyes. Their cousins were crazy, more than adults. Jan flexed his four arms and they screamed like fanboys again. "Bill, you're going to kill the humans." Pyronica laughed as she rolled her eye. What was it with his Jan-Jan form that drove everyone nuts like this? She pouted. If only Bill was interested in wild sex, she would have LOVED to have more threesomes with him. Maybe invite Kryptos to join in, poor guy was SO thirsty.

Jan posed, half leaning on the back of one of the couches. He arched his back and languidly raised his arms to spread up and above him in a gentle curve. Mabel swooned. Dillon and Phillip drooled. The adults were blushing. Oh...oh goodness. Seb gasped. "Can you please not pose sexily? You're my child now!" He blushed. Wanda felt very weird about this. "Do you purposely make your male forms inhumanly attractive?" Jan shrugged. "Yes?" Wanda rolled her eyes. She knew it.

"Please stop, we will die, and you are making everyone question their sexuality." Dipper covered his face, his ears dropping and new tail moving and twitching awkwardly. Zach climbed over Dipper and pulled on his new antlers. "What's that that you said? What's sesh-amity?"" He stroked the smooth white antlers.

"Bill, I want antlers too!" He declared, forgetting his initial question and saving Dipper from embarrassment. Jan laughed. "Sure kid." He flicked his fingers and Zach giggled when little rounded antlers came out from the sides of his head. He got off Dipper and ran over to where his sister, Diego and granny Kari were playing with the giant fluffy creature that Teeth had introduced as Xanthar. In fact, all the maniacs were gathered around Xanthar and the children, marveling over how small human cubs were. Kryptos was the only one still with the adult human group, not wanting to leave Jan alone with them.

While everyone was busy blushing, Ford walked over to take one of Jan's hands. "Amazing! What causes the markings to move? Is the color caused by melanin or something else?" He traced his rough fingers along Jan's soft, smooth skin. Jan blushed. "It's actually the skin cells themselves changing colors. So it's not that the marking are moving so much as, my skin is constantly changing colors between normal and black."

"Like a chameleon?" Ford asked with a smile. Jan considered it. "Well I haven't seen any Earth chameleons yet to answer, but I DID base some of this form's biology off a species of bird from planet Denenmuch that can change their skin and feather colors via hormones…"

Ford shamelessly traced another marking and Jan closed his eyes with a content sigh. Kryptos growled softly. How dare he touch Bill/Jan?! He had to respect his boundaries! Ugh! He hated this human so, so much! Ford didn't seem to notice either Kryptos's ire, nor the growing blush on Jan's face. Ford began tracing up Jan's arm, noticing that the places where he applied pressure to Jan's arm would cause the skin around it to send out more shifting black markings. He noted how the normal markings only seemed to go along Jan's forearms but if he squeezed Jan's upper arm and shoulders, more black tendrils appeared along his skin.

"You're so amazing." Ford said breathlessly and Jan blushed at the compliment. "Are the color changing skin cells pressure sensitive? Can-Can I continue?" Ford asked and after Jan nodded, he poked a little harder, wanting to see the way Jan's skin reacted to different levels of pressure.

Jan mewled softly when Ford pressed a few fingers along his collarbone to see the markings form along his neck and chest. "F-Ford" Jan gasped when Ford's roaming hands started going along his chest, pulling down Jan's tunic a little to press firmly his sternum. Each part changed differently!

Dillon twitched at the faces Jan was making though and grabbed Phillip's head to drag him close in a strong kiss. He refused to see that! If he was getting aroused, it would be because of his boyfriend! Phillip pressed him close, thinking exactly the same.

Seb looking away. WHAT WAS GOING ON? He was suddenly glad that the children and his mother were distracted playing with Xanthar. Kari hadn't noticed what was happening over here yet. Wanda and Kryptos both ran up to snatch Jan and Ford away from each other. "Stanford Pines! What are you doing!?" Wanda hissed.

Seb sighed in relief. Wanda, his love, saviour of the day!

"What?" Ford frowned at the raging blonde woman. "I just wanted to see-" Wanda cut him off. "No! I don't want you to do it! Is that clear?!" Ford shut his mouth and nodded quickly at his sister-in law.

On the other side of the room, Kryptos was looking over Jan worriedly. Jan was flushed and panting softly. Kryptos will admit he looked very enticing right now, but that wasn't important "Jan! Are you alright? Why didn't you push him away?" He cried. Curses, Pyronica and the others were gathered around Xanthar and the children. He also spotted an elderly human sitting on Xanthar's arm, petting the loaf. If Pyronica had seen what that human dared to do to their sweet, innocent Jan, she would have bitten his head off. Friend or no friend.

"O-oh..my...that...that was…" Jan sighed. "I'm fine Kryptos..." He smiled at the compass reassuringly. Fordsie did ask for permission and he accepted. "To be honest, I hadn't actually known my skin reacted to pressure like that." He pouted "I guess...I was kinda curious too?" Ford didn't even do anything explicit, maybe his body just felt very sensitive at the moment.

He wondered if it would make their sessions more scientifically interesting if he and Ford did it while he was Jan?

"I am not sitting in a corner!" Ford cried. Kryptos moaned tiredly when he heard the human triplets, Sebastian and Ford argue. "Yes, you will! You have to learn NOT to do certain things in front of everyone! Like touching my son! So shut up and go to the corner!" Kryptos approved of this Sebastian man. Yes, make the problematic Ford sit in the corner!

"Sebastian, I am not going to the corner!" Ford glared. "I still don't understand what was so wrong?!" He just touched Bill's (Jan was it?) markings! It wasn't weird...was it? It was like touching a cool tattoo! Most important here: Jan let him!

Kryptos was about to electrocute the fuck out of the human with squared transparent glasses on his face when he was unluckily spotted. "Touch my brother, and I'll fight you." Seb warned the Polytool with a smile. He saw the look on his face and recognized desire to maim when he saw it. Kryptos scowled. "But he was-!"

"I know. But he's my brother, and you don't get to touch him. If he's getting beat up for touching Bill, it'd be by me." Seb responded. Kryptos blinked. Oh... "Alright then. Just give him a punch for me."

"You'll punch me?" Ford whispered in confusion. For Tesla's sake, what was going on?! He touched HIS ARM AND STERNUM WHAT THE-?

Seb raised a hand. Kryptos smiled widely. But he didn't punch him like he promise, he just made Ford float to a corner. "Stay there and think of what you did." He said in his dad voice. Ford gaped, unbelievingly. Seb even made a book he saw float towards his six-fingered hands. "So you know I am not a horrible demon." Seb grinned and said ironically. "But seriously Ford. Even if you're with Bill, you can't just DO things like that in front of people. Enjoy time out." He walked towards Wanda and the rest of people.

Kryptos was disappointed that Ford wasn't being torn limb from limb. And then Sebastian's words sank in. With Bill. WITH Bill. He turned to Seb with his eye wide. "W-what do you mean WITH Bill?" Please don't be what he thought it meant. Seb blushed.

"I know. It's...well...they got together before I adopted Bill so I don't know if I'm allowed to break them up. But...yeah. They've been together for a few months now." Seb informed the Polytool before joining everyone. His worried frown was replaced by a squeal when he saw Zoe's hands and arms on fire, imitating Pyronica.

Kryptos floated in midair with a wide eye and his mouth hanging open. B-B-Bill was...he was…

Dipper, easily recognizing the look on Kryptos's face, he had the exact same expression when he heard Wendy agreed to date Robbie, walked over and patted his back. "I feel you man." He sighed.

Mabel was burying her face in her hands and trying to muffle her embarrassed squeals. That was unnecessarily hot. Stan, Carla, Shermie and Abigail were all blushing. "Was that...just…" Abigail twitched "...is your brother dating...his adopted niece?" Stan groaned. "I know. It's fucked up. But...they're...really cute together… and they're not together when she's a child."

This was basically Jan's fault, for enjoying the touching too much!

Mabel looked around and noticed Dillon and Phillip snuck out to continue making out. The lucky bastards. She wished she had a boyfriend to forget what she just saw too!

Shermie's eye twitched. He had seen dark sides of his oldest brother he never thought he would find… "Look, as long as they don't do anything together while she's Miz it shouldn't be a problem. She's like...billions of years old so if anything, Ford's the child in this relationship…" He tried to reassure himself. Stan made a suspicious cough. Sure!

"It's still weird…" Abi rubbed her arm. She looked at the other half of the family laying with the cute, fluffy loaf. "I am so glad your mom didn't see, what would she think?"

"That my brother has gone insane." Stan rubbed his nose. "Where is Jan anyway?" They all looked over to see the demon was munching on sandwiches as if nothing had happened. Well. Maybe it was just business as usual for them? And...Stan did not want to think about that. Mabel was going over to Jan now. "Um...are you still up for a private concert?" she asked. Jan grinned. "I can do you one better…"

He waved his hands "OI! Who wants karaoke?!"

"""Me!""" Mabel, Zoe, Seb, Teeth, Pyronica, 8-Ball and, Keyhole, though his excitement was internal, cheered. Jan floated over the karaoke machine and hooked it to their giant TV for the lyrics. Mabel clung to her youngest uncle. "Remember Love Patrol Alpha? We should bring it back!"

"TOTALLY!" Seb roared. "I still don't agree with this!" Dipper glared. Ford, who was studying the alien language on the book, wrinkled his nose when he looked up. No. He guessed he had fun with Mabel but he wasn't repeating it.

Mabel was already scrolling through the song list. "I don't recognize half these songs." Dipper rolled his eyes. "Different dimension remember? The fact that you recognize ANY of them is amazing enough."

"Pfft, remember I am amazing, little brother."

"I'm taller now, though."

"Yeah, but I'm still older." Mabel sighed. "More mature and experienced than you." She ignored her twin's offended complaint and looked at Jan. "I don't know which song I want! They're all so good!

Jan hummed and tapped on his lips, pressing on them in thought. Mabel flushed. Was he doing this on purpose? Wait, no, Miz would pull at her lips while she was thinking too. Dammit. "How about some EMPRESS? Or BABBA?" Jan suggested. Dipper's head whipped around. Did he just say-

Jan and Mabel grinned. Gotcha. "I guess no one wants to sing any of this, pass it, Jan…" Dipper stood up. "Wait! I-I will join you…" He said softly and everyone started clapping at the teen who blushed brightly. "Sing Dipper!" Zoe cheered. "Sing! Sing! Sing" The twins and Diego chanted.

Dipper blushed as he went up to the selection screen and clicked on Disco Girl. Everyone cheered as he stood there with the mic. He was shaking. He jumped when Mabel and Jan got up to stand on either side of him. "No worries Pinetree. We can sing together with you." Jan grinned at him. Dipper blushed at how close Jan was. Damn, purposely attractive form. "Ri-right…"

The music started and with his sister and cousin beside him, Dipper actually found himself having fun as the song went on. Everyone clapped afterward and Dipper sat down on the couch beside the large red hexagonal alien. Teeth went up to take his turn. Then Mabel. Then Pyronica. Then Jan...which...was…

"I'm hot, sticky sweet~From my head to my feet, yeah~" Jan was rocking his hips back and forth to the drum beat as he sang. Mabel's eyes were glued to his butt as Jan was looking at the TV and facing away from them. "Cause I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet~From my head, my head, to my feet~"

None of the maniacs knew what the song was about but the adult humans blushed at the lyrics. The way Jan was dancing made it worse.

It wasn't a bad song. The guitar and drums were a good beat to tap your foot (or shake your hips) to. Dipper thought it would be less weird if Jan had been singing and dancing as Miz, or even as a triangle.

The children were innocently singing along "Pour your sugar on me~" Yeah, it was cute when the kids sang it. It was like little kids copying the words without knowing what the words meant. Dipper glanced up from his hand to see Jan wiggling and had to look away again. Sigh.

The human couples shared a horrified look. They stayed quiet until the song finished though, because as much as they wanted to save their babies, they didn't know, and what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them. Besides, Jan's voice was hypnotizing and everyone's attention was caught up in it. Jan finished the song and everyone clapped for him. He ran a hand through his hair, gasping for air (not from the song, but from dancing the whole time), and smiled. "Did you like it, guys?!" He asked, looking so eager for their opinion that Seb closed his mouth and Wanda responded "It was great. But can you choose a song with less problematic lyrics?"

Jan blinked innocently "But...isn't the song about candy and melted chocolates?" Everyone stared at him. Wanda made a weird expression. "Ok. Well, um...can I check the lyrics for your songs before you sing them?" Jan still looked confused but nodded. "Ok mom."

Things settled down after that. Everyone was dragged up to sing at least one song. Jan hugged Keyhole and carried him up to sing with him because the Lockin was too shy to go by himself. They found decent songs the parents approved for the kids and they watched them sing passionately. 8-ball wiped the equivalent of his tears. Human cubs were the most adorable cuties… no offense to Toobie.

Wanda wondered about the songs Jan seemed to like. She was very horrified to learn about how explicit the lyrics for songs were. What was happening to the youth? Blow my whistle? Seriously? Who approved that song? Some of the songs Mabel chose had even more explicit lyrics! And these were apparently allowed to play on public radio stations for pre-teens and teens?!

Seb thought some were cool, even with the 'metaphors', some were plain sexist and explicit and it made him want to vomit. Then he laid back and hummed. If Bill Cipher was dead, it meant there wouldn't be any more illuminated minds until humanity disappeared? That was just a shame. It was humanity's fate to continue making horrible songs until the end of time. Music from when he was younger was waaay better.

Jan chose another song and Wanda skimmed the lyrics before raising an eyebrow. She muffled a laugh. "Ok. Yes. I think this is fine." Jan hugged her. "Thanks mom!" The music started and Wanda tried hard not to laugh.

Jan started with a speaking intro "Love songs used to be so beautiful…" He sighed dramatically into the mic. "Let us go then, you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky. Like a patient etherized upon a table. -T.S. Eliot." Jan quoted. "Nowadays, thanks to corporately-owned pop stars, love songs are even more beautiful. How beautiful are today's love songs? I'll show you." The music picked up in earnest as the Pines family stared in confusion.

Jan posed and started singing "I love your hair, I love your name, I love the way you say it~I love your heart, and you're so smart, 'cause you gave away it~" he mined taking out his heart.

He pointed at his family "I love your sis, I love your dad, I love your mum~But more than all of that I love the fact that you are dumb-"

Everyone's mouths dropped opened. What...was happening?

"-enough~To not realize everything I've said has been said before~In a thousand ways, in a thousand songs~Sung with the same four chords!~But you'll still love it and let me finger you!"

"Finger you?!" Mabel blurted out incredulously. Jan laughed into the mic "Yeah! Finger you!" He took a deep breath. "Finger you!" He growled in his demon voice before laughing again. Seb stared at Wanda. How did she approve of this?!

Jan danced, running his free hands down his chest teasingly "Oh girl, I hope you don't think that I'm rude~When I tell you that I love you, boo~I also hope that you don't see through~This cleverly constructed ruse~Designed by a marketing team~Cashing in on puberty and low self esteem~And girls' desperate need to feel loved~" Jan sang. By this point some of the adults were starting to figure out what this song was meant to be about and were muffling laughter.

"America says we love a chorus but don't get complicated and bore us~Though meaning might be missin'~We need to know the words after just one listen, so…" Jan waved his arms in the air. "Repeat stuff, repeat stuff, repeat stuff, Repeat stuff, repeat stuff, repeat stuff-" by this point, Wanda was laughing hysterically. "Yeah! Repeat stuff!" Jan cheered.

"I love my baby and you know I couldn't live without her~" Jan placed a hand on his chest and swooned backward as he sang "But now I need to make every girl think this song's about her~Just to make sure that they spread it like the plague~So I describe my dream girl as really, really vague- like-"

He straightened up and pointed at Mabel, who looked like she wasn't sure if she should be insulted that this song was making fun of the types of songs she liked. "I love your hands, 'cause your fingerprints are like no other~I love your eyes and their blueish, brownish, greenish color~I love it when you smile that you smile wide~And I love how your torso has an arm on either side-"

Dipper was rolling on the sofa, laughing hysterically. These were LITERALLY the types of songs Mabel always listened to when she was younger! Jan dramatically pointed at Stan. "Now, If you're my agent, you might be thinking, oh no, sound the alarms~You're not appealing to little girls who don't have arms~But they can't use iTunes, so [beep] 'em, who needs 'em?!" Jan screamed into the mic.

Then Jan waved a hand to split himself into two. The two began to sing together, one in Jan's normal voice and the other with his demon voice.

"Oh girl, I hope you don't think that I'm rude~"

"I am a servant of darkness!"

"When I tell you that I love you, boo~"

"I am the Void!"

"I also hope that you don't see through~"

"The rivers shall run red with the blood of virgins!"

"This cleverly constructed ruse~"

"I take many shapes…"

"Designed by a marketing team~"

"This is one of them!"

"Cashing in on puberty and low self esteem~"

"The strong will be made weak!"

"And girls' desperate need to feel loved~"

"And the weak shall bow before me!"

Jan jumped and the two of them fused back into one. "SWAG!"

Everyone turned to stare at Wanda. "Really? You decided this song was appropriate?" Carla deadpanned. Wanda snorted with laughter, gasping for air. Stan was pounding a fist on the side of the couch. "AHAHAHAHAHA!" He was nearly dying as he laughed. Dipper was wheezing on the ground, having fallen over from laughing so hard.

Seb had fallen over as well. "AHAHAHA! MY SIDES! OH GOD I'M DYING!" Ford looked up from deciphering his book. "Do young people really listen to songs like this?" Kryptos scowled at him. How dare he be so dismissive of the songs that Bill liked? What did Bill even see in this human?

"Why are they laughing so much?" Keyhole asked confused, the song sounded great! Hectorgon and Pyronica shrugged. "I don't know...maybe they understand the lyrics?" She sighed. Humans were so delicious looking, but so weird.

"You are the best singer!" Zach and Zoe, not getting why everyone was laughing so much either if the song was pretty, and ran up to Jan. The space idol smiled and used two of his arms to carry the twins under his arms.

Jan smiled, glad the Pines enjoyed the song. He looked at Ford who looked confused. "Oh, this song is just a clever parody of all the real shitty love songs that sound like this. Look, that's why Mabel is upset, because she liked these kinds of songs." Ford looked to where Jan was pointing with a free hand and saw his older niece pouting as Dipper and Shermie bothered her.

"Oh!" He chuckled. "I understand now."

'Because you are a stupid, slow, human!' Kryptos hissed in his mind.

Jan sat down with his adopted baby siblings, now on his lap, and leaned on Ford's shoulder. "Are you reading that?" he asked incredulously and Ford shook his head. "I have been trying to decipher the language for a while." The twins looked at the weird letters. "What if we help you?" Zach offered. "We make a deal, you understand it and you read it for us later!" His little hand was engulfed in flames. That is what he understood from daddy about deals. They could offer whatever but they had to get something in return!

"You can make deals?" Ford looked at his tiny niblings in surprise as Jan rolled his eyes. "Not yet." He looked at the curly blonds and put a hand over Zach's to turn off the blue flames. "And you know Mom and Seb said you weren't allowed to." he scolded and stuck his tongue out.

Keyhole gasped. "Some humans can make Deals?" Seb winced. "Well, actually, they got that power from me." The maniacs turned to him. "You don't feel like a human." Kryptos commented. Seb blushed "I am! This body is kinda modified and well...I'm also...kinda...a reincarnated Bill Cipher from an alternative universe."

"Wait. So...you're a Bill from another dimension…" 8-Ball shook his head in confusion. "And you...adopted Bill as your kid?"

"Leave it to Bill to adopt himself." Hectorgon laughed fondly. "We really shouldn't have expected any less."

Seb pouted distressed. "Wait. It isn't like that either...I am not really Bill anymore." He was going to have an identity crisis again.

Kryptos was shaking, ignoring the human's words. So...Bill was adopted as a child by his alternate universe self and was...dating his counterpart's brother? That was...actually the sort of fucked up thing Bill would do. Crazy maniac that he was. This almost made sense, except that it DIDN'T and that's probably why Bill was doing it. He sighed. "Why did I have to fall in love with someone like you?" He muttered. Why did it matter if he said it aloud? Bill wouldn't understand it anyway.

He was right. Bill didn't understand, but the group of humans turned to stare at him with their weird two eyes, wide and shocked. He had apparently muttered it loud enough for their poor human hearing to catch what he said. Mabel gasped. "You love Bill?" She glanced at Jan who was playing with the twins, twisting his multiple arms together to tickle them,oblivious to their conversation.

The maniacs all sighed. "Poor Kryptos has been enamoured by Bill for over two millennia. It's...pretty depressing." PaciFire rumbled. He gave the compass a comforting pat. Mabel gasped. "Did he turn you down? I'm so sorry."

"Hah!" Kryptos barked. "If Bill rejected me I'd be better off!" He scowled down at his hand. "I LITERALLY can't tell him how I feel." Mabel frowned, her need for romance rearing its head. "What do you mean?" Kryptos scowled harder. "I mean THIS!" He got up and flew over to Jan. "Hey. Bill."

"Huh? What's up Kryptos?" Jan asked. His eyes widened when Kryptos leaned in and kissed his cheek, caressing his face. "I love you Bill." He said. Jan's eyes went wide and he fell over bonelessly. Zach and Zoe gasped. "What did you do?!"

"3...2...1…" Kryptos said with the tone of someone who had done this many times. Jan's eyes lost their blank glassiness as he sat back up. "Whoa. Did I pass out again? Huh...I must be more worn out from crafting your bodies than I thought…"

Kryptos made a frustrated noise. "You see?! He does this EVERY time!"

The twins were ready to cry, hugging their Uncle Ford when they realized Jan was fine. Then they were just confused. They decided it was better to touch his six-fingered hands. They were so big and looked like their dad's right hand.

The older set of twins, the rest of the adults and the maniacs blinked at them.

"So...you tell them you love him, and he suddenly...resets himself to forget it?" Dipper raised an eyebrow. Mabel batted her wings and laughed. "Sounds like something that would happen to Dipper!" The teen pulled at his sister's wings to drag her to the floor and Mabel screamed, startled. In revenge, the girl pulled at his white and brown tail. "Ah!"

"You two stop it!" Abigail scolded.

Ford's triplets and Shermie shared a worried look. What was their older brother thinking about this? Kryptos clearly confessed he loved Bill, heck, for millennia apparently! Then, why was Ford not doing anything? He was dating Bill, wasn't he?

Ford left the twins on the floor for them to go with their parents and he turned to look at Jan. "You really don't remember what Kryptos told you?" Jan tilted their head. "Eh, were we saying something?" The Pines brothers held their breath. Ford leaned in "Fascinating. What could be causing this?"

"The fuck?" Shermie muttered. The younger triplets frowned. Did-didn't he just hear what Kryptos said?! He said he loved Bill! The demon he was dating!

Kryptos glared at Ford. "It's because of my Deal. I'm Bill's Friend until the end of time." Dipper winced. "Did...you make a deal that friendzoned you for eternity?"

Kryptos blinked "Yeah, that's what I said too when I realized it." He sighed. "I'm convinced that Bill didn't realize what that wording meant when he made the Deal." He went up to take one of Jan's hands. Jan looked confused for a second before hugging Kryptos with a fond smile. "So Bill literally cannot comprehend what I'm even saying when I confess and short circuits to forget when I DO get through to him."

"Man...that sucks…" Dipper said softly. "Dipper knows a lot about the friendzone." Mabel teased but the teenage boy looked at his twin. "Well, I'm sorry, who's the one with a partner here?" He put his hand on his ear to better hear her response while Teeth and Keyhole shouted "OOOHHH!". He destroyed the human girl! They high-foured the boy and Mabel fumed.

Ford hummed and stroked his chin. "So Deals can even affect Bill negatively? Interesting." His brothers stared at him aghast. "Really?!" Wow...Ford must be...really secure in his relationship with Bill...or he didn't care? Were they in an open relationship?

"Yes." Ford looked at his brothers, mistaken their shocked expressions for being surprised with the new information. "I didn't know this, I always thought Bill's deals couldn't affect him like that." He nodded with a grin. "Did you know about this, Sebastian?" He looked at his younger triplet who shook his head slowly. Why was he changing the topic? Apparently he really didn't care...Or maybe he didn't know how to defend his partner? Seb would have resorted to violence if someone did that with Wanda. Kicking Kryptos would be quite easy for his tall brother but Ford wasn't doing anything.

Kryptos glared at Ford. "It's not funny." Ford looked taken aback. "I wasn't laughing…" the compass scoffed. "Well at least I can always wait for you to die of old age. Then Bill will need comforting and I'll be here."

"That's very kind of you to do so." Ford nodded. Kryptos and everyone else blinked in surprise. Did Ford...not complain about Kryptos because he had already thought about the fact that he would die before Bill and was grateful to know that someone else would take over loving her in his stead? That Bill wouldn't be alone after he died? Was Ford really thinking about his relationship that far off? Kryptos blinked at the human. Was he...giving Kryptos the go ahead to pursue Bill because the human understood his own pathetic mortality?

"What are you guys talking about?" Jan chuckled sheepishly. "Yeah! We don't understand!" The twins tilted their heads. "It's adult stuff, don't worry." Seb grinned at the three.

Diego, sitting on 8-Ball's shoulders, directed him towards his Dad. "Stan! Your cub wants to tell you something." The ogre pulled Stan's arm. "Yes?" Stan looked up at the dark-haired kid. "Pops, where's Dillon? He disappeared!"

"I'm on it!" Jan's eyes flickered and he started blushing. "Oh~they found the Spa room and are...erm...enjoying themselves…"

"You have a SPA room?!" Seb gasped. Stan grinned at the memories. "Yeah, that place was nice~"

Wanda raised an eyebrow at Jan's choice of words and Carla frowned, her protective mama instincts kicking in. That better not mean what she thought! "Enjoying themselves?" the youngest twins asked. Jan blushed. "They're kissing!" He hissed. He and the twins all went "Bleh!"

"So many mouth germs!" Jan wailed.

"Just kissing?" Stan pressed. Two teens, alone, sneaking out from the group to be more alone...that sounded suspicious to him. Jan froze. "Well...yeah? Phillip's got this thought of waiting for Dillon to be older before they go any farther…" he flushed. "They're using tongues! Eeew~"

Carla and Stan sighed in relief. Their older baby was safe. They heard the last part of Jan's sentence and laughed. "That's my boy."

It was everyone's else's turn to make disgusted faces. "Eeew!" The couple rolled their eyes. "Grow up".

"We should all go to the spa! Enjoy ourselves!" Mabel squealed. Spa day! Pampering! Yes! She tugged on Dipper's arm "Come on! I wanna see what alien spas look like!"

"I doubt it's that different... " Dipper said as Mabel pulled his arm. "Where is it?" she looked at Jan who smiled excitedly, eager to show her spa room to his other family. "I'll take you! Brace yourself!" He teleported the humans and the maniacs to the room, where Dillon and Phillip screamed loudly when their 'session' was rudely interrupted.

"GUYS!" Dillon glared. "We. Were. Busy!"

Jan walked over with some face towels and began cleaning them off, fours arms busy holding their heads as he went. "Gross. There's spit everywhere!" Ugh. Saliva. How gross.

Phillip blushed as the cute alien cleaned them. "We...are sorry?" He noticed Stanley, who was narrowing his eyes at him because he had his hands on Dillon's butt, and grinned sheepishly. "Hello, Mr. Pines…"

"You are lucky I approve of you." Stan crossed his arms over his chest. Jan cheerfully stripped his shirt off and went to take off his pants while everyone cried out in surprise. To their relief, he had some swim trunks underneath. Then they stared as he jumped into the swimming pool sized Jacuzzi.

The twins struggled to escape from their parents' grip. "Pool! Pool! Pool!" Jan flicked his fingers and everyone's clothes changed to something more spa-appropriate. The twins and Diego immediately jumped into the jacuzzi with Jan. "Ohh! It's warm!" Zach's eyes widened. Mabel squealed and jumped in "Woot!" And brought Diego closer to her to hug.

Pyronica grinned before going off to her own tub. It was a sizzling purple liquid that smelled like a mix of lemons and cooked beef. "Right, humans, stay away from the acid tub." Hectorgon mentioned as he hoped by "Bill told me they cannot handle PH levels lower than 5 without burns…"

"Bah! I do what I want!" Seb declared. Wanda pulled his arm deadpanning. "Don't."

Kryptos huffed as he saw Ford standing there, with his stupid six-fingered hands behind his back. Why did he even have so many fingers?! When Sebastian's baby grabbed his glove he saw 5 fingers! Every one of those other humans had 5! Urgh! Why?! Was he a freak too or something? He knew he was just purposely trying to find fault with this man who somehow managed to grab Bill's interest. He was self aware enough to realize that. It didn't mean he wasn't mad about it though.

Kryptos yelped when Jan came out and grabbed him and Ford, dragging them both into the tub. "Come on nerds! Into the tub with you!" He giggled. Kryptos blushed when he was hugged close to Jan's chest. "I used to take baths with my brother when I was a kid!" Jan sighed at the memories. Of course, his memories were getting mixed up again. It got hard to tell stuff apart sometimes between his memories. Especially as the years went on.

"That is so cute!" Mabel squealed, watching her uncle cough the water he accidentally swallowed in his surprise. "I took baths with Dipstick as little kids too!" Dipper blushed when his parents made a loud "Aaaww!" as they remembered. He sighed. "Thanks, Mabel. No one needed to know that."

She frowned and hugged Diego closer to her. The poor kid was screaming and the twins tried pulling him away. "It's adorable, shut up!"

"I...think the kid isn't liking your strangling…" Kryptos muttered. "Free Stan's cub!" 8-ball cried as he watched them.

"Cub?" Carla raised an eyebrow and Stan shrugged. Finally, Dillon had to get in and rescue his brother. "Stop it, he doesn't like it." He told his cousin as Diego escaped with the twins.

Mabel groaned before looking over at Keyhole and narrowing her eyes at him. These versions of Bill's friends were smaller and cuter. Keyhole squeaked before he got grabbed by Mabel. "Ahh! Help! The human is going to strangle me!"

PaciFire reached over and plucked the turquoise alien out of her hands. "You are a scary human." The demon-imp muttered. "WhAT?!" Mabel cried, offended as her family laughed, especially Stan and Seb. "I am the most adorable creature on Earth! Has been since 1999!" She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Of course you are, pumpkin!" Seb reassured.

Ammy floated up to her. "You inspire terror in your own kin. Clearly, you are an awe inspiring monster." he raised a tendrils and wiggled it. "I do not have thumbs so just pretend I am giving you a thumbs up."

Mabel gaped at the floating creature. Did-did he just call her monster…? She sniffed and went to curl up with her mom. She hated the world now. Dipper rolled his eyes. So dramatic...she was the only one who cried giving her short speech in their graduation. He still loved her though.

Seb leaned in to look at Jan in the Jacuzzi. "So, what do I do around here to get a massage, kid?"

Jan blinked. "We...don't...really have those here...I mean...it would require getting someone to give massages...and um…" he drew his arms around himself in a hug. "Not...not...really...um…" He looked away.

Seb frowned worriedly, but before he could ask anything, Wanda nudged him with an annoyed sigh. This dumb man. The blonde woman touched Jan's cheeks and he looked up at his mom with a sad look on his face. "Baby, it's ok…" She said but gave him a look that could be interpreted as 'this conversation isn't over. We will talk at home'

Jan nodded. "Ok…" He perked up and pulled Ammy close. "This is my son Ammy. He's the only one who was immortal...and um...so...you have a grandson now!" The multi-blocked creature blinked at Wanda. "Hello grand mother. Oh, matriarch of our clan." He said in monotone.

Wanda snorted. "Hi, Ammy...you can just call me Wanda…" She didn't feel ready for that title yet!

"Alright, Wanda." Ammy nodded. Wanda pulled Seb closer to her. "This is Sebastian, he is my husband." "Sup!" Seb saluted. "And-" She pointed inside the Jacuzzi at the twins trying to playfully drown Diego and Jan trying to stop them. "The kids trying to drown that kid are our children, Zoe and Zachary."

Ammy nodded at Seb. "Hello grand father." (Seb put a hand over his chest, offended. Sorry but no. He was no one grandfather!). He floated over and dipped into the water. "Hello aunt Zoe and uncle Zachary." He greeted them as he watched them splash around. The kids gasped and looked at the creature. They hadn't seen him before! "You look funny!" Zach commented. Zoe grabbed him and hugged him to her chest. "Can we keep him?!"

"That's Jan's son, and no, we can't." Wanda said. Seb tugged at his brown hair. "I-I don't look like a grandpa, right?"

"Ah. Yes. Hugging. The means to which sensory based organisms display their affection. Or to strangle their prey. I assume you are much like mother is. This is good. Mother needs hugs." Ammy hugged Zoe back. "I am glad your adoptive family has been able to see to your needs." he told Jan.

"I didn't understand what he said, but he sounded funny." Zoe told her twin and he nodded. Jan grinned at Amy. "They are the best adoptive family." Wanda smiled proudly and Seb hugged her closer to her. Yeah, he knew they were the best!

The Pines and the maniacs relaxed at the spa. Kryptos tried to just relax when he closed his eye and decided to ignore Stanford talking to Jan. It was ok...how much could they talk anyway? Jan spent time with them and his adoptive family. Besides, they didn't seem like the type to do anything inappropriate, Ford was a slow human...it-it wasn't as if they would have kids together or something! What an absurd thought!

Kryptos snuggled into Jan's chest, enjoying the one upside to Bill getting together with humans. He was much more open to snuggling and touching. Kryptos took this chance to press himself close to his friend and enjoy the energy that flowed out of him constantly. Ford chatted with Jan about how his 4 armed form worked.

"I suspect the many arms would cause muscle pain?" Ford commented as he trailed his fingers along Jan's arm, once more pressing to see the markings spread. They were on the other side of the Jacuzzi, away from everyone else so Ford figured this was private enough. Kryptos was dozing off as Jan stroked his sides and angles.

"Yes." Jan moaned. "Making this body always means my muscles are tense and stiff. It's really annoying…" He giggled when he saw Kryptos' hand floating limply. Aaw~ he fell asleep!

"Sebastian sometimes grows a second pair of arms when he is angry." He remembered seeing that form. It was really creepy. Almost got killed by it. Jan grinned. "Have seen it. It looks cool as fuck on him." It embarrassed him when it happened to his Bill form, but for Seb it looked fine. Must be because it was adapting to a human form that made it hot.

Turning into a spider-like pyramidal monster was just...less cute. Jan flushed. He didn't like looking ugly. He remembered how the Federation once posted a picture of him when he was twisted into a horrifying mass of limbs and eyes. It was SO embarrassing! Why did they have to post that image across their news stations?!

Ford pressed his thumb against his markings again. Fuck. He was so obsessed, it was so hypnotizing…Jan whined and Ford looked at him. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, it just feels...pretty good." Jan shivered. He wondered if bruises in this form would affect his markings. Hm...more arms might make things...interesting in their sessions. Jan rolled his shoulders. The hot water felt so nice on his body. Stanford grabbed one arm and ran a finger along it, from the shoulder to his hand, watching entranced as the markings shifted and adjusted to his passing finger. Jan gasped.

"That...also felt nice?" The man asked with a soft blush. Jan nodded. "Your hands are really rough. I've noticed this before. How do you have so many calluses when you just work in your lab all day?" Jan asked, brushing some of his bangs back, the water trailing down his face. Ford scoffed. "Just because I'm stuck indoors, doesn't mean I don't do hard work." Ford held up Jan's hand. "Your hands are soft, but even you have a few calluses."

Jan's eyes widened a bit and he looked at his hands. Then he laughed. That was fun. Could it be from holding the mic? That was the only constant physical thing he did with this body actually. "I guess I have, but you still have way more, Fordsie!" He poked his nose and Ford covered it, making the demon laugh again. He didn't like to be poked in the nose…and then Jan had stolen his glasses, he couldn't see anything past Jan's dark face.

"You are extremely blind!" Jan declared when he tried them on, and Ford scoffed. Bill needed glasses as a triangle, he didn't know what he was mocking him for! Seb didn't need glasses before and he used to tease him about it, after Weirdmageddon, his sight got slightly worse and now he wore contact lenses though he denied it. Stan had always needed glasses too, he bet he had a higher number than him now for not wearing them!

Ford was very defensive of his glasses. Jan finally gave him his glasses back, though they were fogged from the steam. Jan flicked his fingers and Ford felt his glasses clear up. "I made them waterproof! You're welcome." Jan peered up at him. "You look good with glasses on." He commented. "Glasses are sexy."

Ford blushed but managed a nervous laugh. "Haha, thanks...I guess…" He touched his glasses, not knowing how many times Bill/Miz/Jan had cursed/improved them. He better not lose this pair. They were special…

Jan pressed his hand on his face and formed his own pair of glasses. "How about me? Do I look good with glasses?"

"You look...great in glasses!" Ford nodded. "That frame goes well with your facial bone structure." Jan cooed and hugged the scientist. "Thanks, Fordsie!"

Ford's brothers and their wives watched the pair with shitty grins. They had to admit they were so adorable together. Mabel was squealing and punching Dipper's shoulder "Lookie! They're matching~"

"Ow. Ow. Ow." Dipper deadpanned before swimming away from his sister. "Do they have a sauna room?"

"We sure do!" Teeth grinned as he held out his hand to help pull Dipper out of the pool. "Me and Xanthar were gonna go. Wanna come with?"

"Sure." Dipper shrugged. He followed the two and decided he might as well try to get to know them. "So...how did you guys become friends with Bill?"

Teeth shrugged. "He gave me a place to live when my roommates and colony threw me out into the street." He patted Xanthar's side. "And the big guy here was being kept by some asshole who would slice off pieces of him because his species is considered a delicacy."

Dipper looked horrified. "T-that's awful." He looked at the purple creature with pity.

Teeth hugged Xanthar's large arm. "Yeah. Most of us didn't have the best...lives. Bill found us, took us in. And offered to give us everything we would ever want...if we agreed to be his friends until the end of time." He laughed awkwardly. "He literally gave us an offer we couldn't refuse."

The teen hummed. But it was an offer, Bill/Miz didn't force them to be his friends. And he did it to help all of them. It was still incredible for Dipper to believe Miz was a GOOD Bill Cipher. The demon tried to kill them, he still had nightmares now and then, but here was Miz, helping everyone, helping his uncle Seb with the little twins, and...he shuddered. Dating Uncle Ford.

That was the weirdest thing from all of this. He had so much to tell Pacifica!

"So, you are Bill's cousin now, right?" Teeth asked as they walked. This Teeth looked much kinder than the Teeth that had tried to eat him during Weirdmageddon. "Yeah, adoptive. My dad is Seb's brother, and Seb adopted her."

Xanthar nudged Dipper kindly and rubbed his bread face against him, making the teen laugh.

Teeth chuckled. "He likes you." Dipper patted Xanthar's arm and they got to the sauna. The teen was still with his trunks and wrapped a towel around his waist. They turned on the fire and the sauna started doing its magic. The two aliens and the human sighed happily.

The first time he went to a sauna was with Pacifica. She took him with her family to a private club a few years ago and complained just a little bit about losing her private sauna at the Manor, but that this was fine as long as he was there. Needless to say, he was red from blushing for the entire trip.

"So, I've only really seen Bill as Miz and Xin. Is it...normal for his personality to...change a little when he does that?" Dipper asked. When he had met Xin, he was playful and friendly, much like Miz, but he was more mature, whereas Miz acted like a real little girl. And now as Jan he was...weirdly flirty. And Dipper wasn't sure if that was just his imagination or not.

Teeth winced. "Bill is...in, ok, you know how some species can have mood swings?" Dipper nodded. "Well Bill has personality swings. And a maturity level that slides back and forth between child and adult. When he's in parent mode, he tends to be more calm, strict and responsible. And in child mode he's emotionally starved for affection and clingy."

The mouth laid back on the bench. "He normally falls somewhere in the middle while leaning to either side in certain situations. But when he goes into his different forms, he kinda...narrows the range his mental age oscillates between. He's more stable."

Dipper nodded. That was weird. But it make a weird sort of sense. He read somewhere that the body affected how the mind feels. But that was for humans. He didn't know how that worked for triangular aliens gods.

Meanwhile, back at the Jacuzzi room, Wanda was chatting with Pyronica as the two dried off to sit in the comfortable lounge chairs. "So, I heard that Bill had lost his children. But, Ammy is his son right?"

Pyronica's expression turned bittersweet. "I had twins. A son and daughter." The Cyclopian looked over at Zoe and Zach, seated on Seb and Mabel's shoulders as they played. "And they were my children...but Bill adored them." She sighed. "And that's why I couldn't let Bill keep them."

Wanda looked confused. "What...do you mean?"

Pyronica laid back on her chair, twirling a lock of hair. "Bill wanted to keep them forever. He wanted to force them to stay by his side just like we do. But I couldn't let him do that." she closed her eye. "I chose to stay with Bill. I was the one who suggested he make a Deal for us to be friends. Because I felt like I was taking advantage of his kindness when he took me in."

Wanda gazed at the other woman. "Then what's the problem?"

Pyronica gave a bitter laugh. "Bill took my offer as an excuse to trap me by his side for all eternity." She turned to Wanda who had a horrified expression. "Don't take my words to mean I DON'T want to be here, I care about Bill and I don't really mind being here." She looked around, checking to see that Jan was thoroughly distracted with Ford "And I have nowhere else to go. If I go out without Bill's protection I will get arrested."

"What?!" Wanda gasped. Pyronica laughed. "I may not look like it but I am an awful, terrible person. I have no idea why Bill likes me so much." She folded her legs up to her chest. "I eat people. I kill people. Because I enjoy doing so. There are people I am nice to, but only because I like them. But I like killing people. Being able to lord my power over them and know that I'm strong enough that they can't hurt me anymore."

She growled. "And I guess I went overboard because the Federation hates me. They want me imprisoned or working for THEM. They want to make me a non threat to their silly laws."

"What does this have to do with your children?" Wanda asked, trying to hold back her horror at this alien woman's nonchalance over her desire to kill people. Pyronica groaned. "Because my children are a lot like me. 'Course, they're much kinder than I am. Bill raised them well. But the Federation hates them by proxy."

She clenched her hand into a fist. "Bill keeps me out of prison by selling himself to the Federation's leader. He works for that asshole, kills for him, does all sorts of awful things in exchange for Favors that he uses to keep me, to keep all of us safe." Her fire flared along her arms. "And I hate it. I hate how Bill willingly goes along with that stupid baby, allows himself to be USED by him, for our sake."

Wanda edged away from the angry woman. "But I can't make him stop. If Bill had to choose between the deaths of everyone on an entire planet and me, he would choose ME every time and this breaks him inside." Pyronica wouldn't have told anyone about this, but Wanda was Bill's adopted MOTHER. Who else was she supposed to talk to? The AXOLOTL never responded to her questions and demands. This was all she could do.

"If my children were allowed immortality, Bill would need more Favors to keep THEM safe too. He would need to do more jobs, kill more people, kill a bit of himself each time." Pyronica stressed "I don't want to put that on him. So even if losing my children hurts him and me and everyone else, if HAD to happen. We are all terrible people and so is Bill, but he's a terrible person, FOR our sake." she sighed. "Bill said he was not going to kill for Time Baby anymore, but he's still taking jobs. I know he is."

The blonde human was speechless, her face gone pale. She didn't understand anything about this. Seb had told her how bad their Bill was, and what awful things Bill did, but thinking Miz had to do it for her friends' sake...

"I am sorry..." Wanda mumbled. What else could she say? She couldn't help. They couldn't do anything.

Pyronica shrugged. "Don't apologize for things that aren't your fault. Bill does enough of that." She laughed bitterly. "You know what's the crime the Federation is pinning on us recently? Since we've been behaving these past thousand years? Since we haven't killed anyone and tried our best to be on good behavior?" She fell back on her chair. "They're saying that us EXISTING is a crime now." She shuddered violently. "So Bill needs to pay off Time Baby with jobs so that we get to keep our freedom." She hissed.

"What." Wanda deadpanned, her need for justice tingling. "That is the most stupid shit I have ever heard!" She cried, smacking her seat and splashing water to her face "He has NO right to do that! If you haven't done anything!" That Baby WAS an asshole. "Existing isn't a crime!"

Pyronica shrugged. "We all know, that's why we hate him even more than normal people." she poked her finger into the water, watching it sizzle. "That's why we're thinking of overthrowing the Federation. Kryptos brought up the idea a while ago but Bill said it wouldn't work. Something about how anarchy and destruction of a far reaching governmental system would kill billions of people and create a power vacuum that would be filled by some OTHER dictator…" Pyronica frowned. "I confess, I'm not smart enough to understand what that means."

Wanda blinked. "Well, I am not really sure how politics in space work…" She started. International law didn't apply in another dimension. "But, I can assure you Bill is right. Getting the power by violence theoretically could apply if the people doing so are morally responsible. The dictatorship is overthrown but those who take the power form a government of transition towards a democracy and opens elections for the people to choose." She ran a hand through her wet hair. "But that is an utopy. The candidates might try something similar, or even worse, be people who trust the dictatorship, so it would be a dictatorship concealed by democratic practices."

Pyronica blinked at the female human. "To be honest, I have no idea what the heck you just said." she frowned. "But Bill once said that there were a few members of the council who are actually decent people and he is hoping that putting more support behind them, giving them more political power and higher seats, would mean they can do more to try and change the Federation for the better." She groaned. "I don't get it. But that sounds like a long term sort of thing. So Bill's planning to bare with this until good people make it into power and the government stops being shit. But...doesn't that suck?!"

Wanda nodded. "A lot. But that is how politics work, which sucks. Trust me. If you knew the shithead we have as president back home-! Um, you see, on Earth there are only humans, and people like him promote hatred towards people who are from other countries?" Pyronica blinked confused. But they were the same species, why would he do that? "You have countries here? Anyway, bad president, makes the poor poorer and the rich richer. Disgrace." She concluded.

"That sounds a lot like the old law about needing a Federation ID to get a job but being unable to get an ID without money while you can't make money without a job." Pyronica shrugged. "The only reason such a thing isn't around anymore is because Bill had a long talk with Time Baby and got him to change that."

Wanda sighed and leaned back, letting the warm water get to her hair. "Ah...societies like that everywhere. We should just live in anarchy...that was a joke, by the way, don't ACTUALLY do the whole anarchy thing." She warned and the Cyclopian laughed. "Kryptos said we should just kill Time Baby and be done with it. I have no issue with that. Hectorgon just wants to get rid of certain members of the council."

"Well, I get the feeling…" Wanda muttered, surprising herself of her thoughts. Sebastian's view of the world was really influencing her.

"I like you." Pyronica declared. She approved of this woman to be her best friend's mom. Wanda grinned. "I like you too…?" Yes, she murdered people, and that was awful...but she wasn't a bad person right? (Wanda had to hold back her instinctual reaction to call this alien a murderer who needed to be tried for her crimes.) Besides she didn't know what society was like here. Maybe that was normal? Even so, she could continue being her son's best friend. She obviously cared about Bill.

Wanda jumped startled when two little wet heads came out of the water gasping for air. Zach looked back at where Seb and Jan were watching them. "You saw, Dad? We swam here holding our breath!"

"Good job!" Jan called with a grin. Pyronic and Wanda looked at the blond twins. "Mommy, do you want to play with us?" Zoe asked. Wanda shook her head with a grin. "I think you are fine with dad." Actually, how long have they been in the water? She saw how wrinkled Zach and Zoe's fingers were. "I think you've been in the water long enough. You're turning into prunes!" Wanda cried as she got up to pull the twins out.

Pyronica gasped. "Humans transmute if they're in water too long?!" She stared at the children's wrinkled fingers. "Oh no! They're shriveling up!" she cried in panic. "Jan! They're dying!"

"Don't worry. This is normal for humans. If you take them out of the water they reflate back to normal." Jan climbed out of the pool, stretching his arms and brushing his hair back. Something incredibly hot looking, everyone complained internally. "Come on gremlins, let's get you two dried up." He pulled out towels and helped Wanda wrap them up.

Wanda stared up at her son. He was taller than her in this form. She couldn't help but think that he might be taller than her husband as well. She looked over at Seb. "Honey, come over here please." To be honest, many were taller than-

"Yes?" Seb climbed out of the jacuzzi and grabbed a towel Jan was offering as the space idol continued drying the shivering blonds. Wanda snickered as her theory was proved correct. Jan was shorter than the Stans but still taller than her dear, adorable and naive husband, who tilted his head confused as her laughter became louder.

Stan and Carla noticed they were getting out and got their own kid out as well. Mabel got out and it was when she was wrapping the towel around herself that she noticed her brother's absence. She looked at her parents who were busy grinning happily at each other. "Mom, Dad, Dipper is missing."

"That's great, sweetie." Shermie said absentmindedly and the girl groaned annoyed. Jan shook his head disapprovingly at Shermie before addressing Mabel. "He's with Teeth and Xanthar playing video games, don't worry." From what he Saw, they had been in the sauna, but then got bored and Teeth showed Pinetree his games. The two seemed to have connected really well!

"Cold…" Zoe, wrapped around in a towel, snuggled against her dad's smooth leg and he picked her up with a smile. Hugging him wouldn't help her getting warmer, he was also wet and cold. "I want to play with them too!" Zach's little brown eyes widened and pleaded with his older brother. Jan grinned. "Alright, there's heated changing rooms and fresh clothes for everyone. Let's get changed and go play video games!"

""Yay!"" everyone cheered. Kryptos, who was placed on a bench when he fell asleep, woke up with a startled gasp, pushing the towel Jan had wrapped around him to the ground. "Hwah?"

"Hey Kryptos, we're gonna go play videogames. You wanna come with?" Jan asked. The compass quickly picked himself up and flew over "Might as well." Since the aliens didn't really need to change clothes, they headed off first while the Pines, Phillip and Jan went to the changing rooms.

Dillon and Phillip stared at Jan when he walked into the changing room but Seb gave them both a stern look and pushed Jan and Zach into a large stall and pulled the curtains. "Do you HAVE to make yourself look so hot?" Seb grumbled. Jan shrugged "If I'm going to shapeshift, I'd prefer looking nice."

"There's looking nice and then there's looking seductive." Seb felt he had to clarify this. Jan pouted. "Well I originally made this form so I could stare at myself for eye candy." Seb couldn't help but think that explained so much.

Zach was sat on the bench in the stall and he looked at the men kicking his little legs. "What is eye candy?" He asked innocently. "Is it candy with the shapes of eyes?"

Seb blushed a bit as he started drying off the toddler's chest and put his new t-shirt on him. "It's...something or someone who looks really good for your eyes to enjoy." Zach nodded slowly. "So if I see a really good cake, it's an eye candy?"

"Theoretically speaking, yes. But I'd prefer if you didn't use that expression...it...it's for grown ups...yeah…" Seb pouted as he patted Zach's legs gently with the towel before helping him put on his underwear.

"Ok." He agreed and the man sighed in relief. Jan just rolled his eyes. They changed their clothes, (Seb kicked Jan out when he was ready so he could change), and then they met everyone in the living room.

"Hey, guys! Look! These games are so cool!" Dipper was laying on the floor next to Teeth as he played. The little twins and Diego ran towards their older cousin and sat down next to him to watch. The adults settled down on couches and Jan ran to the kitchen to get snacks, grabbing both Ford and Kryptos to help him. "Come on nerds! Help me carry stuff! You need to exercise your weakass arms!"

Eventually, Zach pulled on Dipper's jacket. "We wanna play too." The teen looked at the kids and grinned. "Sure." He gave the toddler a free unplugged remote. When he went to his friends' houses to play, they always did this with their younger siblings whenever they bothered them. The kids smiled brightly but Shermie narrowed his eyes. "Dipper, let your cousins play."

"But the game is just for two!" He complained. His mom shook her head. "Then take turns"

Dipper sighed heavily. Teeth patted his back. "I've got Plus Punch Sisters. They allow up to 6 players at once." He got a few more controllers out and switched the game out. Dipper pouted. "But I was so close to beating you." PaciFire sat down heavily and laughed. "There's no way you'd beat Teeth. He's an expert warrior of all fighting games."

"Oh yeah?! Well, my bro bro is the best at video games! He is the king!" Mabel sat next to her younger brother and the boy smiled at her. The support was really nice. "And I bet he can kick your mouth butt!" Mabel challenged.

Zoe and Diego giggled. "You said butt!"

"Yup! I said it! Whatcha think? Or are you too scared to challenge my cool nerdy twin?" Mabel looked at the mouth. Teeth grinned. "A challenge huh? Sure. But when you inevitably lose, I want you to refer to me as Teeth the Lord of Fighters!"

"Yeah, well...if I win, you have to call me Dipper the Great!"

"That's a stupid name~" 8-Ball chuckled. Keyhole poked his arm. "Don't be rude to Bill's cousin."

Mabel raised her arms to placate their competitive glares. "Alright, alright, people! We're going to start the match. Best two outta 3!" The toddlers watched their cousins and adoptive family get ready to play.

The controllers were hooked up for 6 players, Teeth and Dipper stared at each other. Zoe, Zach and Diego got controllers too. Everyone looked at the 6th controller. "Who's our last player?" Teeth asked.

"Phillip wants to play!" Dillon pushed his tall boyfriend towards them and sat him down between the aliens and his cousins. The ginger teen blushed as he was handed a controller. Dillon was doing this on purpose, he knew he got...competitive.

"I don't know how to…" He mumbled. Dillon sat down with the toddlers. "They don't know how to play either and they enjoy it anyway." He ruffled his brother's and Zoe's hair. The children cheered. The game started and they were on the character selection screen.

Dipper stared at all the weird alien characters. "Is that...Bill?" He stared at the yellow triangle on the screen. PaciFire cackled "Bill liked this game series and donated a bunch of credits to the Dev team. They made him a playable character, but had to work with Bill to get his moveset. Something about game balance."

"I was too overpowered!" Jan complained loudly. "I had to demand them to nerf myself!" Dillon glanced over "Why would you want to have them nerf your character?"

Jan rolled his eyes as he set down the large tray of snacks. Kryptos was wobbling behind him with another tray. Ford was having an easier time of it, having more muscle than the compass. Jan finished serving some of the food and continued "Well what's the point of being in the game if my character is banned from official tournaments?!" Jan sat down.

"Also, Bill gets some weird, sick sense of satisfaction in beating himself up in the game." Hectorgon grunted. Jan giggled. "I make funny sounds!"

"I want Bill!" Zach declared but Zoe stuck her little tongue out and chose it first. Zach gasped and whined loudly. "I said it first!" He pulled his sister's braid (which their mom did for her) and Zoe screamed before punching him in his chest. "HEY!" Seb shouted and went to separate the fighting kids from each other. Wanda sighed tiredly as Pyronica gave the kids a soft smile. Strong kids, she liked it. Oh cool! Humans changed their eyes' color when angry like Bill!

"You can BOTH play as Bill. He comes in different colors." Keyhole winced at the snarling children. No wonder Bill accepted being adopted into this family. Keyhole showed them which button to click to shift through the different colors. Zoe settled on Pink. Zach clicked around. "How come there's no blue?" he felt like a blue triangle would be…. Right.

"There just isn't." Jan said quickly.

"But why not?" Zach pressed with a whine. "I just didn't want to be blue!" Jan grunted in annoyance. Zoe, still angry with her twin for pulling her hair, stuck her tongue out. "You are annoying." Zach growled and bit her arm. The twins once again started hitting each other, their little hands on fire, and Seb raised a hand to float them away from each other, one to each side of the couch, and dropped them harshly, growling as well. "Can you behave?!"

Keyhole nodded to himself. He was totally sure that's why Bill chose these humans as family now. They were crazy. Zach, knowing he could get grounded, ignored his twin and settled on a Black Bill Cipher. Teeth chose a creature that looked like a goat with shovels for feet and two heads. Diego chose a humanoid with bat-like wings. Phillip flipped through all the characters. "This would be easier if I knew how any of these guys fought. Or who they are." He eventually settled on a creature that seemed like some sort of martial artist. He squinted at the screen. "Is it just me or does she have 4 boobs?" He asked.

"That's Shun-Lo. The first female character in fighting game history! They finally allowed her into the game!" Teeth grinned. Phillip rolled his eyes. "But...why does she have 4 boobs?"

"Because that's what her species looks like." Teeth shrugged. Stan whistled. "I remember meeting a few of 'em. Right Sixer?" A loud slap followed his sentence, followed by an annoyed whine. "Oh come on~!"

Ford grumbled as he offered the food from the tray to Abi and Shermie. He didn't like being a butler. "Yes, I remember, Stanley. You seemed quite eager to meet them." He smiled like a little shit.

Another slap. "Dammit Sixer!"

Diego and Dillon rolled their eyes. Their dad never learned. The game started and the children immediately began to button mash. Phillip was testing out the buttons in different combinations to work out how his character worked. Dipper and Teeth were already attacking each other, pretty much ignoring the other players.

"Go, Dipper!" Mabel cheered. "Kick his butt! Your honor and entire future depends on it!" She roared.

The kids started attacking Phillip, laughing as he finished testing his character. The teen grumbled and ran away, he didn't want to kill them, they were little babies. He ran up to where Dipper and Teeth's characters were and attacked Dipper first while he grinned wickedly.

"Go Teeth! Kill the humans!" Keyhole cheered.

Zoe made her Bill jump slam on top of Dipper and gasped when she remembered something that had slipped her mind for a while. "Hey Dipper! Why don't chu make more monster hunting videos anymore? Math videos are boring and I don't understand" She pressed buttons randomly.

"What?" Dipper was somewhat distracted as he had to run away from Zoe, as she chased him, spamming the ground pound attack. Zoe bounced in her seat, mimicking the jumping of her Bill in the game. "Your videos! You made them when you were little. And then they became math videos instead." She blew a raspberry.

"Wait…" Dipper barely jumped past a few more attacks, Teeth wasn't letting up and he was being attacked from both sides. "You found my ThemTube channel?" Dipper shrieked.

"Yeah! A mailbox, umm, a big teeth, little aliens, daddy appeared in that one! His hair was so funny!" She whispered that last part.

Dipper chuckled at the memories. Oh right. His guide to the unexplained. "Yeah well, I wasn't allowed to try summoning ghosts anymore. And going monster hunting in the Falls wasn't the same anymore since most of them knew me after… after a thing that happened. And I got into animation so I practiced by making math tutorials and lessons. They're pretty popular actually."

"Neeeeeeeerd~" Jan teased with a laugh. "I'm kidding! I like nerds!"

"Well, this nerd got a scholarship to start school next summer with one of his animations!" Dipper grinned as he massacred Phillip.

"Really?! That's awesome! Congrats dude!" Dillon would give him a high five, but his hands were busy. Also Phillip was pouting since his character got killed. "Awww…"

"Yeah. I didn't know schools could do that." Shermie grinned. "But I'm so proud of Mason."

Dipper grinned at the praise while Zoe and Zach wondered why he called him Mason when his name was Dipper.

Mabel rolled her eyes. "His videos are kinda cool though! There are like nerd math characters and there are like backstories and lore and hidden info." She ruffled her brother's curls.

"There's Lore in your math tutorials?" Stan stared. That's some next level nerd shit.

"But… " Teeth questioned. "What do you mean by 'nerd'?" The way he said the word sounded different from the way it was said by Jan earlier. The humans blinked as they noticed that. Jan explained. "Oh right. Translation and all that. You all hear English right now, but Teeth and the others don't speak it. Or understand it. And I'm not speaking English right now either. You all hear the translation so it sounds like it, but some words don't translate back and forth the same."

"Wait. So when you say 'nerd'..." Ford glanced down at Jan. The alien shrugged. "In English, the word 'nerd' was invented by Dr. Seuss. He doesn't exist here yet. So when I say nerd here, the word is actually dok-shuu-yan. Which has a similar meaning, as in, a person who is very learned in academics. But also with the connotations of being a bit of an awkward person who needs to be taken care of, since their time spent on learning has made them neglect their physical bodies." Jan shrugged. "My automatic translator can give all that context and just defaults to words you know and understand, to the most accurate it can go."

"...that's fascinating." Ford adjusted his glasses. "I suppose I hadn't actually thought about how certain words only exist in certain languages due to context and the people who invented them."

"So what we hear and what they hear is different?" Wanda thought that was amazing. Jan nodded. "So when you say Nerd and when I say Nerd, it sounds different."

Kryptos left the tray on the table again and sat down tiredly. Really, Jan should stop making snacks, they were a lot of people, but there would be leftovers for weeks! He looked at the human wearing glasses talking all smiley with Bill. The compass growled. Stupid Ford. Stupid! He had the privilege of being with Bill! He put down the food and floated over to sit on Jan's lap.

Kryptos took this time to snuggle closer to Jan's side. He shot the six fingered human a smug look but was disappointed when Ford didn't seem to notice or care. Well, screw him. Kryptos 'eep'ed when Jan started petting his side. "What's with the jealousy? Do you want to play PPS too?"

Oh right. Bill could Feel it. Kryptos felt a little ashamed at forcing him to have to taste something like this. He forgot he could.

"U-um...no. I'm fine." Kryptos blushed. Jan giggled and turned him to look at his eye. "You know you can tell me~? They're my new family, but you guys are my best friends and my 1st adopted family!"

Kryptos hummed. Yeah...friends… "I know Bill, your new family is really nice." Screams were heard in the background. "And I am glad you have them...and that they make you happy."

He was glad for that. Even if he was kinda miffed that Bill had started dating a human, he would accept it (begrudgingly) so long as Bill was happy. That was all he asked for. (Kryptos's main issue wasn't that Bill was dating someone, it was that this human didn't seem like he was worthy of Bill. Bill deserved the best, someone who could devote themselves entirely over to him and treat him like the god he was. Someone who could maybe match some of Bill's greatness. But this human was… Bland and powerless and he just… didn't… well, Kryptos didn't understand what Bill saw in him.)

They played long into the day, Phillip, Teeth and Dipper trying their best to destroy each other while the children ended up running off the platform and dying or throwing themselves off it by accident. At the end,Teeth won and was jumping around as he gloated. Everyone got a turn to play and soon Jan told them it was time to go home. The twins whined "But we wanna play some more~"

Jan tucked them under his arms and scolded them while everyone else said their farewells to Bill's friends. Kari gazed at the huge, rowdy group. She'd been quiet most of the night, too lost in thought about all this, aliens being real, her new granddaughter being one. And also being an adult man sometimes. This wasn't what she was expecting for a family but she didn't dislike it. She gave Xanthar another pat, the purple alien was so soft, and went up to Jan and the twins. "Well, even if you're a triangle alien shapeshifted, I'm very happy to have you in my family." She told him.

"Aaaww~!" Jan hugged the woman gently with two of his arms. "I'm also glad to be part of your family! Thank you for raising these four boys so well!" Kari and her sons blushed at his words. Jan looked at the humans when they finished saying bye to everyone. "Are you ready?" Everyone nodded.

"I lost because I was uncomfortable with the antlers and because Zoe had been kicking me." Dipper muttered and Mabel giggled. What a sore loser. Jan blinked them away. The constructed bodies were placed in stasis up in the penthouse so Bill wouldn't need to remake them next time. They were a little creepy but no one went up to the penthouse anyway so they didn't have to deal with the blank, soulless stare the empty vessels had.

The Pines went back to their real bodies and collectively took a deep breath before continuing to sleep. Miz blinked sleepily, her body was still tired, and looked at Ford next to her who was knocked out. She smiled and curled up closer before closing her eyes and going back to sleep. It might be kind of creepy to want two families but she didn't give a shit. She hugged the doll Ford had bought her through the night.

-.-

Ford awoke to find Miz dozing on him. He noticed that they were holding hands, Miz must have gripped him in her sleep. Ford was about to pull away, but paused as he really considered it. He… Never really held hands with people growing up. He always felt uncomfortable doing so.

But… he thought back to it. Holding hands with Miz. Holding hands with Jan. Well, yes, Ford had been fascinated by Jan's hands. But it wasn't just the scientific curiosity that made Ford hold onto the other man. Ford's free hand flexed, imagining the sensation of when he had held Jan's slender hands in his own. They had been warm.

Comfortable.

In a way that Ford never felt before. He hadn't noticed this when he was with Miz, since she was a child and holding her was simply protecting her as anyone should do.

But holding hands with Jan was… nice. Ford blinked at that. It had felt comfortable, something he never felt when it came to his hands. No one aside from his brothers and mother had ever wanted to touch them. And Stanford had gloves on most of the time, just another way to distance his hands from other people, because it always made him uncomfortable.

But here, and back there, his hands had been free. And he'd felt someone's warmth against his own. Skin to skin. And it hadn't felt wrong or uncomfortable at all. Ford looked back down at Miz, still breathing softly as she slept. He wasn't wearing gloves now. And Miz's hand felt warm. He squeezed gently, smiling when she squeezed back, unconsciously in her sleep.

Ford had packed gloves for his summer vacation, for when they went back to Jersey. Just-Just in case. For when he had to be out there, around people. But...

He… wasn't going to wear gloves today. And maybe he didn't need to at all anymore. Not even in Jersey.

Seb sighed as he held onto the child-leash to keep his kids from running off again. New York was a big place and the little demons didn't want to stay with the group.

"I wanna see everything!" "Can we have a hot dog?!"

"No, no you can't!" He cried exasperatedly. He mentally apologized to his mom. Now he understood the pain. And there were three of them, he would have died. His mom was a miracle worker. A true saint!

Mabel had a brand new sweater on her, one with the letters NYC, the statue of liberty and a star with a man on top. She was skipping next to her family and taking lots of photos to share with her friends.

Diego was being carried on Dillon's shoulders, successfully keeping him entertained. Though he wasn't as crazy as his cousins, so he wouldn't run off anyway. Stan and Carla looked over at Seb being dragged by the twins on their leash and let out a sigh of relief that their children were better behaved.

Ford was determined to take this time to...hang out. However, he was somewhat bored and wasn't sure what to say to everyone. He stayed by his mother's side, she was old, he worried about her stamina since they were going to be walking through the city today.

Wanda and Miz held hands as they laughed at Seb's suffering. Wanda finally felt bad for him and sternly called out "Zach! Zoe! Come back here or we're not getting ice cream later." the twins gasped and ran back, dragging Seb along. Miz sighed. "We should find a way to get them to behave without bribes."

"Won't work." Seb panted as he caught his breath. Gah! Really, how much energy could be stored in those tiny bodies? "They have no solution." Zoe scratched her arm, it felt funny. "Daddy, thirsty." Seb sighed before taking out her water bottle and giving it to her. It wasn't the hottest day, but the last thing he needed were the twins spontaneously combusting from the heat.

Kari smiled fondly at the twins. "They are just like you, Seb." She told him with a smirk. Seb rolled his eye when Wanda and Miz gasped. "God help us." Wanda exclaimed. "It is a dark day indeed, however will we survive when they grow up?" Miz pretended to faint and Wanda picked her up with a laugh.

"Can we go watch a play?!" Mabel not so subtly pointed at her sweater. Shermie and Abi rolled their eyes. "No. You saw the bootlegs already." Abigail reminded her. Mabel whined. "But we're here! In New York City! Fancy streets, fancy restaurants~" she paused to watch a group of teenagers walk by "Fancy boys~"

Stan gently pushed her forward. "There's more we can do here than watch overrated musicals, kid." Mabel gasped in offense as Carla rolled her eyes. "The guy who wrote it is actually a great person, Stan."

"Meh."

Miz tapped on Wanda's shoulder "Ooh! There's a restaurant with authentic Italian pasta!" She pointed at a fancy building. Wanda hugged the girl "Are you hungry already?" She asked. Miz paused to consider it. "Not hungry...but...I could nibble something…"

Wanda narrowed her green eyes playfully. Nibble always turned into something more. "Well…" She looked at the hour, it was almost 2pm. "I guess we could have an early lunch, so we have more time later?" She suggested. Seb looked at her tiredly. "Whatever is fine if I get to sit down." The twins were a handful and he was the only one who could control them, Wanda wasn't able to measure up to their inhuman strength when it came to pulling them. Miz would help but she had too much fun watching Seb struggle.

"Hey, you guys want to stop for some Italian lunch?" Wanda asked. The rest of the Pines looked over. "Sure. But isn't Italian food expensive?" Stan grumbled. Miz held out a large ruby. Stan practically made a cha-ching sound effect as he reached for it. "Ooh~"

Wanda frowned. "Miz, you can't always do that." She scolded lightly. Miz leaned onto Wanda since she was still carrying the demon. "But I don't do it all the time."

"If you don't want it, I will gladly take it!" Stan offered. The older male Pines and their mom rolled their eyes. Wanda sighed. "Ok, we can use it...but just this once! Stan, be a dear and take it out of your pocket." She said without even turning to look at him. She noticed Miz was no longer holding it and knew Stan's quick fingers had already taken the jewel without people seeing him do so.

Stan grumbled and handed the jewel to a grinning Seb. "Not fair."

Dillon groaned. "We'll have to go to a pawn shop again…"

"Again?" Carla asked and Ford nodded. "The kids got some gold from Miz a few days ago, when you all were drunk-" He shook his head disappointed. "So they could buy things at the mall."

"Wait…" Shermie frowned and looked at his twins. "I remember giving you money! And you got more from Miz?! Give me back my money, you dirty thieves!" He very maturely called his children.

"No! It's ours now!" Dipper smirked and high-fived his twin. Mabel seemed entirely unashamed even as Shermie groaned. He was certain his children picked up bad habits from Seb and Stan. That was the only explanation. Of course not from him! He was clearly a saint!

Stan and Dillon went to find a pawnshop while everyone waited at a park. Seb still held the twins on their leash. He didn't have enough energy to chase them around. "Let go!" Zach pleaded. "Diego is playing!" Seb shook his head. "Diego behaves." the twins whined. Zoe began biting on her leash. Seb laughed. "Nice try. I had Miz curse those to be unbreakable! Even I can't bite through them!"

The twins gave Miz a betrayed look. "Meanie!" They whimpered. Miz shrugged. "He offered me chocolate." Wanda glared at both Miz and Seb. "I thought we were trying to NOT bribe our children?"

Seb kissed her angry, wrinkled nose. "Well, the thing is, Wands, I can bribe Miz 'cuz she's my sister. She's your kid!" He grinned, but Wanda didn't find it as funny as he thought. The twins continued pulling and biting their leashes, getting distressed. Dipper sat down next to them on the grass. "Come on, kiddos, you could probably get Seb to take it off if you behave." Zoe sniffled. "Yeah?" The teen nodded. "How about playing 'I spy' in the meantime? I'll start ok? I spy...an orange thing...it's long, for the traffic…"

"Traffic cone!" They giggled. "My turn!" This way, Dipper kept his hyperactive cousins busy, gaining grateful smiles from his aunt and uncle, until Stan and Dillon came back. "They questioned where we got the gem but between the two of us-" Stan slung an arm around Dillon's shoulder "-we managed to double how much we got from this." Stan ruffled his son's dark curly hair. Dillon smiled proudly. He liked doing stuff with his dad, especially when those moments involved Stan saying he was proud or impressed with him.

"Now we can go to the restaurant?" Miz questioned. They had been waiting for a while now and she was hungry for real, as most of them were.

They agreed and walked into the restaurant. The waitress gaped slightly at the huge group but kindly offered to join two big tables for them. The little twins had their leash taken off and they hugged their Dad, grateful. They promised they would behave.

The other customers stared at the triplets with amused smiles and giggles, everyone loved identical siblings! Stanley casually put on dark glasses just in case. Ah, the fame was so overwhelming sometimes...

The waitress approached the family and started giving out menus. She gave menus to the adults and Dillon. Mabel gasped in offense when the waitress left and didn't give her or Dipper a menu. Were they really that baby-faced?

Miz scooted over to Wanda and read her menu. "Lamb meatballs? Ooh~" the two discussed what they would like while Seb was in charge of picking out food for the twins, who were demanding ice cream. "So...here's the kid's section of the menu, what would you like?" He gave the menu to them, it was important to make them feel included and make their own decisions, within reason, of course.

Zoe asked for spaghetti which used a few ingredients to form a happy face, and like the other options, it came with a drink and a chocolate popsicle while Zach asked for a lasagna off the kid's menu.

Mabel also wanted the chocolate popsicle but her dear twin reminded her that those meals were small, for kids, and she would be hungry later. Mabel made sad noises "Curse my adult body!"

"You're nowhere near an adult." Shermie deadpanned. Abi giggled. Mabel asked if she could get a popsicle anyway. "Can't I get the kid's meal and then a bunch of sides?" She asked.

Abigail stared at her daughter. "Only if you actually finish eating. I don't want to carry your leftovers all day."

"I can eat them!" The trash compactor shaped like a little girl said cheerfully. Wanda poked Miz. "Wouldn't you explode if you ate that much?" Miz shrugged. "I can convert the food into pure energy and the leftover elements just faze out through my skin." So she wouldn't have to deal with her vessel's stomach being too small to hold the food. The only real issue was long term storage...

Carla sighed. "I wish I could convert food into pure energy." Stan pulled her closer. "You look amazing, shut up." He loved his wife's curves, what the hell was she talking about?!

The waitress returned to put tablecloths and utensils on their huge table and gave the kids special ones so they could draw. "Can we get one too, pleasee?" Mabel smiled at the waitress and hugged her deadpanning twin. The woman came back with two more and the crayons. Mabel and her little cousins squealed excitedly.

Miz was already drawing something. Wanda looked over "Is that me and Seb?" She asked. Miz nodded, filling in the eyepatch with the blue because there wasn't a black crayon. She then drew the twins, Stan and his family, Shermie and his, Kari and Ford. Wanda snorted "Why are you giving Ford such a big butt?"

"Because it's funny." Miz replied. Ford pouted from where he was on the other side of the table beside his mother.

"That is not funny." The scientist complained as everyone laughed, because it was funny. "Of course it isn't funny!" Seb agreed. "It's hilarious! You would wish to have a butt like this!" Stanford mumbled something about no respect anymore and his mother laughed softly. "My dear, don't get upset about that."

"I'm not upset, I am annoyed." Ford deadpanned. Seb cackled as he looked over Miz's drawing. "Seriously though, that's a really nice butt. I'd want to have a butt like that." He joked, partially seriously. Miz looked up "I can do that~do you really want it?" she would take any opportunity to shapeshift someone. She really would.

"No, I really like him like he is right now!" Wanda quickly said. She'd appreciate it if her husband had a smaller butt than hers! Seb laughed and nibbled her hand. "Really? Will you be jealous?"

"Yes." She said frankly. Miz was about to intervene when they were brought both garlic bread, regular bread and olive oil for dipping. Ooh~ The kids were already getting one so why couldn't she? She grabbed one and dipped it in the olive oil before taking a huge bite. Mabel and Dipper looked at each other before practically throwing themselves to the table to get them.

"Hey! Eat like civilized people!" Carla and Abigail scolded as their husbands and children began fighting over the bread like sharks. Stan laughed as he snatched some bread "Civilized people get the smallest pieces!" He gave Diego half of his garlic bread. Carla smiled fondly at that.

Other customers stared at them, worried for the sanctity of the restaurant.

As everyone settled down with their bread, Miz continued the conversation. "I can give anyone a bigger butt if they want." She shrugged. Body modification was easy. "Or any other changes they want. I can even make the change a gradual thing over time so people don't get suspicious."

"Make me taller!" Seb's eye widened and lit up. Everyone groaned. "You are still obsessed with that?" Ford raised an eyebrow. "Well, no…but it's not fun being triplets and being so much shorter than you." Curse Filbrick, it was his fault for not letting him eat.

"Sebas, you're fine just as you are." Kari reminded him. Zoe, with her face covered in crumbs, nodded. "Yeah! You're still the best dad even if you're a shortie."

Seb wiped the girl's face with a napkin. "Thanks, baby, but I still wanna be taller." He looked at Miz. She nodded and flicked her fingers. "It'll take a few years for you to match your triplets though." Wanda sighed. "Well, at least if it's gradual I'll have time to get used to it." She kissed her husband. "Frankly, I think you're fine the way you are." She leaned in to whisper "Besides, this means you'll have to adjust all your clothes as you grow or they won't fit."

"Fuck." Seb spat when he realized Wanda was right. Was changing all his wardrobe worth it?

"Sebastian, don't curse in front of the kids." Kari scolded her son. Seb shook his head. "They're used to it!" Wanda and Miz smacked him on the arm lightly. This idiot! "He's joking, Kari!" Wanda said quickly. Miz rolled her eyes "At least say Fudge or Frog instead."

Wanda nudged Miz's side. "If he does grow, make it like… an inch at most. He's cuter when he's small." Miz raised an eyebrow. "Oh~? And what's in it for me?"

Wanda groaned. "I'm not bribing you." She declared. Miz nodded. "Yeah, that's fair. But just imaaaaagine it~ Seb being super tall~ Hitting his head on the door frames~" The Stans hit their heads sometimes, it was so funny.

Wanda choked on her drink (really shouldn't have taken a sip of water) and her eyes were wide in horror. Nooooooo! She didn't want her cute little Sebastian to be so tall! His tininess was his charm point! His iconic look! She set her jaw and very quietly said, "You get to choose which restaurant we go to for dinner."

"One inch it is! I mean, who needs tall people, am I right?" Miz cackled. Seb looked over. "What're you two whispering about?"

""Nooooothing~""

The waitress came back over. "Is everyone ready to order?" She went around the table to get everyone's choices written down. Shermie told her about his nut allergy and she wrote that down too. Allergies were dangerous and it was very important to accommodate for that.

Seb leaned back on his chair. "Ah~ I remember when you almost died, Shermie. Thank you, you scared the heck out of me."

Shermie frowned. "I...don't remember?" He scratched the back of his head. "When was that?"

"Kid, you almost died! Sebastian took you to the hospital when you were 2!" Stan exclaimed. "Aaw! Uncle Seb saved Dad!" Mabel cooed. Shermie shrugged. "I can't remember. I was two. It isn't that important, right?"

Ford looked at the green-eyed man. "Since that day, Sebastian started liking you, we all thought he would have let you die." Kari hit his arm. He was too direct.

Shermie blinked. "Excuse me?" he cried. Kari sighed. "When you were born, Filbrick kicked Seb out of his room and threw him into the attic. Seb was terrified of being alone up there and he blamed you for taking his room." She sighed. "I should have said something. I shouldn't have let that awful man do that to you." She felt so guilty about how complacent she had been. Because she hadn't wanted to anger her husband.

The brothers softened their gaze. "Mom, it wasn't your fault…" Seb assured. "It-It was a long time ago…"

"I still should have protected you…" She said softly and Ford, slowly, as if scared, put a hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her. Apparently it worked, she grabbed his hand, bigger than hers now, and stroked his six fingers. Ford initially tensed up, but relaxed as he felt it. He liked it when his hand was held. Ford hadn't really thought of that before.

Shermie rubbed the back of his head. "I'm glad you started liking me though...you are my favorite brother…" He saw the Stans scowling at him. "Like...you guys! Haha, I also love you! You are my favorite in-in other stuff! How did you even notice I was allergic?" He changed the topic. Everyone listened in, curious.

Sebastian blushed and laughed awkwardly. "I...I was babysitting you...and I started throwing you some cereal that came with nuts. I threw the cereal on the floor, nuts included because you were incredibly annoying as a baby-" He huffed. "And you started eating it from the floor like a savage."

"That was not what you told us." Kari frowned and Seb laughed awkwardly. "Needed to survive, you know?" Dipper looked at his Dad and snorted. And his dad always told Mabel off for eating from the floor. Seb shrugged "Well he started choking, I was so scared. No one else was home so I couldn't get help and I was so afraid Shermie would die." He kept quiet about how Bill2 had wanted Shermie to die "So I picked him up and ran to the hospital as fast as I could. I nearly fainted from exhaustion."

"Woah…" the teens breathed out. Mabel tried to picture her uncle as a little 12 year old carrying her dad as a baby. That was so heroic. Nothing a bad Bill would do.

"I called home, we didn't have mobile phones and Wutsapp at that time." The teens shuddered. How did they survive? "And luckily for me, Mom and Filbrick returned from who knows where, I can't remember, and they came to the hospital with the Stans." Seb avoided saying how Filbrick tried to hit him at the hospital...and got to do it later, in the privacy of the attic where no one could hear him sob. Miz narrowed her eyes at Seb. Well, that was something else she was adding to the list of awful things to do to Filbrick when they got back to jersey.

"Mom screamed at us in front of all the other kids at the arcade…" Stan mumbled, still remembering the laughter and how they were dragged away. Luckily they got their bet money before that. "I was panicking ok?" Kari protested. "We got a call from the hospital. What was I supposed to do?"

Abigail and Carla patted Kari's hands, reaching across the table to do so. Wanda would have done so too but she was sitting too far away.

"And that's the story of how I discovered you are allergic as heck and saved your life! Fin." Seb bowed his head and the Pines clapped. Even when Kari knew Seb probably got over it, she still felt bad for letting her ex husband treat her baby like that. She was just glad he turned out to be ok. He had the memories and personality of an apparent alien, demon thing. She wondered why he didn't turn out as a murderer or something worse...

Finally, the waitress started bringing their plates. The children's (and Mabel) were brought first. Zoe looked at the smiley face made from cheese, jam and olives and whimpered. She couldn't eat it. It was too cute! Zach looked over and patted his sister's back. "Don't worry. I think he would be happy to be eaten."

Zoe tearfully poked the face with her fork. "But he's so cute." Seb was covering his mouth to muffle his laughter. Wanda poked him. "Don't laugh. That's mean."

Seb really tried not to, his daughter was actually suffering at the thought of killing the smiley face, but when she sobbed as she took a part of his pasta face to her mouth, he burst out laughing. Zach glared at his Dad. "You're mean! Shut up!" He demanded. Miz rolled her eyes as she waited for her food impatiently. "Don't laugh at your kids, Seb!" everyone else sighed. Diego patted Zoe's back since he was sitting on her other side. "It's ok. Your dad might be a jerk-"

"Hey!"

"-but at least he's going to get punished by your mom later. I've seen mom give my dad that same look before."

Zoe sniffled. "Yeah…" He was right. "Uncle Stan also has to sit in the corner when he is mean?"

"He sits in the corner everyday." Dillon agreed as he grinned at his scowling dad. That wasn't true! He had been punished in other ways, but he hadn't been in the corner since he was a kid!

"Mommy, will you make Dad sit in the corner for being mean?" Zoe took a sip of her lemonade, her green and brown eyes glassy. The glass was so cute too. It had a cool straw. "I will, sweetie, now eat, the smiley face will be sad if you don't eat him." Wanda said.

Seb groaned loudly. Corner?! Again?! Miz gave him a smug look. She'd never been sent to the corner before. The rest of the food began to come out and everyone dug into their food. Miz pulled out a device that looked like a smartphone but more advanced. She fiddled with it and grinned. "Cool. I got the connection back up. Darn thing keeps cutting out on me."

"Is that a phone?" Mabel asked. Miz shook her head "Sort of, it's a Com. Which is more like a handheld computer, though, I think all smartphones and electronics you humans make nowadays are like that. Making computers super small and stuff." She twisted a piece off and placed it on the table where it began projecting a holographic image above it. "But my Com has a bunch of functions that human technology hasn't gotten to yet. I built it by scanning a bunch of Federation tech and mixing them up together. So I guess that makes it a PC."

"You built it?" Ford and Dipper's eyes widened. Mabel bit her ravioli and grinned. "Now I want a plantimal AND a Com!"

"Too bad you're getting neither!" Shermie shrugged. Mabel groaned. "But you said I COULD!" she distinctly remembered SOMEONE telling her she could have a plantimal. She stared at Miz. They gave her chocolate! Sadly, it appeared Miz had forgotten, on account of being drunk.

Miz nodded. "Well, I built the hardware, the actual programming inside it was made by Hectorgon. Ugh, I hate programming. I can do it if I have to but it gives me a headache." She pressed a few buttons. "Currently, I've managed to connect into the interdimensional signals for Tumblr. It's my blog."

Ford twitched. Dipper stared with his mouth agape. "You mean, you've got cool alien tech...and you're using it to check a blog site?"

Miz nodded. "Oh right, hey Seb. Guess what?" She grinned at him. "BlueBill uses Tumblr too!"

Seb looked up from his food and slurped the pasta. Wanda frowned. "Blue Bi...Oh! Yeah! I remember! On Tumblr? Have you been talking to him as well?" He looked at his confused family. "He is another Bill we met, don't worry." He waved a hand.

Miz grinned. "Yeah. Our signals don't match up very often so we just send each other messages whenever we can." she tapped a few buttons. "He's doing well. His Ford is still being a dick the last I checked. Well, sort of? One of them was being super creepy and can't take a hint that brother's not interested in him. And the other one's… almost decent?"

"HAHAHA! Remember when you traumatized him?!" Seb explained. He was a little confused about how there were apparently two Fords over there now, but he would think about that later. "But the look on his FACE!" Miz and Seb started laughing loudly as everyone watched confused. "When I ate your vessel!" Miz wheezed.

Seb wiped a tear from his eye. "Ah…" He looked at his triplets. "Those Stans were old men, like the ones from my past life's dimension." He grinned at the Stans' horrified expressions. "Good thing is, my Fordsie isn't a dick anymore, eh?"

Ford looked down and took a sip of his drink. Yeah, no need to remind him about that...he said he was sorry, didn't he? "This other Ford, he's a mean person?"

Miz nodded. "He trapped Seb in a magic circle...and from what I've SEEN, he was so sleep deprived and paranoid he nearly shot his Stanley once." The two set of twins and the two brothers gasped softly. "But Uncle Fordsie is great and cool!" Diego defended his oldest uncle with a pout.

Stan gulped down his food and laughed awkwardly. "Well, Ford also almost killed me with a crossbow...but he didn't mean to, his mind was pudding from an evil Bill messing with him…" Ford sunk a little more on his chair. Right...the crossbow. "We-well...that was in the past...I wouldn't do it now…" His mom shook her head slowly. So that was what he was doing before he 'died'. These dumb boys.

Seb smiled softly, noticing his triplet's crestfallen expression, and said. "Of course you wouldn't, Sixer! We all made dumb mistakes in the past, but, we are finally together and...I'm glad we lived to enjoy this with all of you." He smiled as he absentmindedly rubbed his long-healed wrists. Luckily no one noticed or commented. He raised his drink and proposed a toast for their family.

"To us together now and many more years together in the future!" He raised his strawberry milkshake, Wanda refused to let him drink this early in the afternoon. Everyone raised their drinks as well. "To family!" Mabel yelled. They clicked their cups together. A few other diners looked over at their loud table and shook their heads. The Pines didn't notice their annoyed expressions, too busy enjoying themselves.

As predicted by Dipper, Mabel finished her food and wanted to steal from his plate. "Don't be selfish!" She whined. "I told you not to order that! Mom!" Dipper whined back. His parents sighed tiredly and poured a bit from their plates onto Mabel's plate. She smiled brightly. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome, sweetie." Shermie rolled his eyes. And these two were turning 19? At their age he was already working and paying taxes! While raising TWO toddlers! Mabel had ordered a bunch of side dishes but since she was sharing those with everyone, it wasn't enough to eat for her.

Ford got the grilled salmon and felt a hungry gaze boring into him. He looked up to see Miz staring at his plate. "Fish~"

Wanda looked at Miz. "You already ate yours, Miz, let Ford eat."

"It's alright, I am kind of full anyway." He pushed the entire plate towards the demon girl. Seb caught the plate before Miz got her hands on it and cut it in half. "Ford, you haven't eaten sheep." He returned half the salmon to his brother. "And then I'm the one with eating problems." He mumbled to himself.

Miz dug into the fish with gusto. Ford ate his under Kari's stern gaze. He wasn't sure if he was being treated like a child or not. He was 43 for Einstein's sake and he felt 4, when they wouldn't be allowed to stand up from the table until they finished their food. He stared at the way Miz was eating and wondered why a being of pure energy even needed the food. She did say she converted food in energy… Ah, he really wanted to study that. Perhaps Miz would agree to that later on, he'd ask tonight.

He finished his food though, and after the kids and Mabel were brought their chocolate popsicle, Stan paid for the food, complaining that if they didn't have Miz with them, they would have spent a lot of money today. Miz shrugged. Ford blinked and thought about it. "Did you convert your own energy into mass to create the gemstone?"

Miz blinked "Yes? If I'm going to eat and get more energy anyway, I can afford to burn some off." She tilted her head. "Besides, moving around too many particles from the world around me means there's less of the normal particles that could be used for something more important than gold or jewels."

Stan scoffed. "What's more important than gold?"

"Oxygen, hydrogen, carbon and the various molecules they create." Miz responded. "Gold uses up 79 protons, 79 electrons and 118 neutrons on average. If I pull the particles I need to make gold from the air around me, that's a lot of other elements I need to cannibalize and restructure just to make one elemental atom of gold."

She held out her hand "And then, to make the gold viable for use, I have to build on it, drawing in more and more particles from the world around me to stack onto each other until I've got something even visible to the human eye." She closed her hand and leaned back in her chair. "If I do that too many times, I'm actively making it so there would be less stuff around to be made into the things humans need to survive."

Wanda stared down at her daughter. That...wasn't something she considered before. Ford nodded. "And I'm guessing you get around that issue by creating mass spontaneously with your energy, your very being."

Miz nodded. "My body is converted into the world around me. I can generate more energy, thereby regenerating my true self, by feeding off molecular bonds by eating stuff or emotional energy I can get by feeding off sapient creatures."

Dipper stood up "Wait. Are you saying...that Bill Cipher creates nightmares so he can scare people and feed off their fear for sustenance?"

Miz nodded. "Well, yeah. I can feed off any strong emotion but Fear is EASY. Despair, Greed, Anger...those are easy to get." She shrugged nonchalantly. "If I want someone sad, I just have to take away something they care about. If I want them jealous and hungry, I dangle something they want in front of them. If I want them mad...well, you get the idea."

There was an awkward silence around the table. Mabel spoke up meekly "Can't you do happy emotions like love and joy...or that squeeing feeling inside when you see a cute animal?"

"Well...yeah. But those are harder." Miz didn't seem to notice the mildly disturbed faces, looking down at her hands. "What makes one person happy might not work for someone else and maniac love, or crushes are such a similar thing to stressful obsession that I get them confused half the time anyway."

"What about true love?" Dipper asked. Miz sighed. "It's too sweet for me to digest. I start vomiting. Or bleeding. Depends on what form I'm in."

Stan clapped his hands together and stood up from the table. "Well that was a cheery conversation, how's about we forget this and head off to have some mindless fun in the city? Eh?" He grinned a bit too tightly. Miz was confused about the taste of the emotions in the air. "Did I...say something to upset you all?" She frowned. Mental attacks again? But she was just clarifying what they asked of her.

"What? No, sweetie." Wanda took her hands. "We were just surprised with this new information, no one knew about this."

Everyone nodded when the two of them looked at them. "I think it was quite interesting to learn this." Ford smiled at the demon. Miz looked down at the twins when they hugged her. "We don't know what a croton is, but we aren't upset that you use them from air!" Zoe assured her sister, making everyone snort with laughter.

Miz smiled widely, glad her family wasn't really upset with her for playing with other people's emotions in order to feed off them and raised her arms at Ford to be picked up. The scientist rolled his eyes but accepted, holding her with his arms because putting her on his shoulders was too tall for her. "You know what? I want to head off for some mindless fun!" Her mood totally changing. "What do you suggest, fish?" He looked at Stan.

Stan grinned. "There're some amusement parks." Carla patted his arm. "And museums…" Miz's eyes lit up. "Art museum?" Ford chuckled. "You want to see the art museum?"

"Of course!" Miz laid against Ford and sighed. "I miss going to museums. I should probably take my friends to one sometime. Maybe they've forgotten about the other one we destroyed by now…"

"Your friends destroyed a museum?" Shermie repeated as they walked, guided by Stan and Carla. Seb had put the twins on their leash again and this time, he had to pull them to walk. They didn't want to go to the museum.

"Yup!" Miz grinned. "They're chaotic monsters, I love them." Seb rolled his eye. Stan guided them through Central Park which was beautiful at this time of the year. The trees were bright green, squirrels ran around and it was full of people. Dipper and Mabel walked along after the younger set of twins and laughed at the way they growled at squirrels.

"Uncle Seb, how did you make them so much like you?" Mabel raised an eyebrow. Seb sighed. "I don't know…" He said lamely. "Sometimes it's cute, because I know I'm cute as hell, but they are also a handful…" And they were just 5! He didn't want to imagine when they were teens! They could kill him!

Zach lifted a squirrel with his mind and quickly caught it by its tail, watching as it twisted and squeaked in his grip. "Look! I caught one." The boy told his twin. Zoe searched around for a rock. "Let's watch it explode!" She grinned wickedly.

Seb felt the twins stopping and he saw on time what Zoe was going to do to the poor animal to decide its fate. "No! Wait! Don't kill it! Kids!" He cried and freed the squirrel. "What the heck have I told you about this?!" He glared at the little blonds. "No killing animals!"

Ford and Stan shared a look and shuddered. Ford needed even more fingers in his hands to count how many animals Seb had killed as a kid just for fun. It made sense he did it because he was still transitioning between Bill to Sebastian, but fuck was it scary to see him covered in blood.

Miz frowned. "You can't kill innocent animals." She scolded the children. "If they attack you first, then it's free game, but if they don't then you can't." Ford gave her a flat look. "I don't think you should be killing animals no matter the reason."

Miz raised her eyebrows at him. "What do you call that fish you just ate? Or any of the other things you kill?" Ford sighed. "That's different. Food is something that we need to survive." Miz nodded and turned back to the twins "Don't kill something unless you plan to eat it." She called out.

Ford couldn't facepalm since he was holding her but he groaned. The twins looked at the squirrel. "So...we have to eat that?" Wanda shook her head. "Don't you dare! You don't know where that thing's been!" The twins stared at each other before looking at their parents. "So, how come you guys don't eat the bugs you kill?"

Miz sighed. "Well bugs don't taste good. Plus, you should always kill a mosquito! They suck. Literally."

Zoe and Zach giggled. They will kill mosquitoes when they see one. The twins started skipping once more, happily jumping around Seb and Wanda. The blonde woman sighed tiredly. She wished she had known Seb as kids, maybe that way she would know how to control the twins. Maybe she should have a good long talk with Kari later.

Eventually, after some pleas from Mabel to take a group photo, buying cotton candy, and then carrying said cotton candy because certain little blonds didn't finish it, they reached the art museum.

"Booriinggg!" Zoe moaned and tried throwing herself to the floor, but the leash kept her somewhat straight. Diego actually seemed excited to go. Dillon and Stan rolled their eyes. What a little nerd.

Miz was already jabbering about the statues and paintings they could see while standing in line to buy the entry tickets. "-nd the original Realism movement was all about painting what real life was like. You see, before then paintings tended to be Bible stories commissioned by the church or portraits of rich people, but then they began depicting more humble things like farmers, not romanticized but in all the gritty detail of reality. Notice they don't make the subjects of the work conventionally beautiful and flawless like what you see in the-"

As Miz acted as a tour guide, the Pines approached the counter to buy tickets. The kids entered for free while the teens and the adults paid a cheap entrance. "Where should we go?" Stan asked. He didn't want to pay extra for the tour guide because they had Miz after all! She looked at the map and pointed out a route that would take them through each exhibit. "And I can bore you all with random art history!" she scanned a bunch of what happened here. And some of it was similar to her own dimension. Well, the prehistoric art at least, which they didn't have here. But she saw an Asia section that featured ancient pottery and even a bone flute!

They went through the museum, picking up many other guests who began to follow the group in order to listen to Miz talk. At one point Miz got into an argument with an actual tour guide over the origin of a certain statue…

"Archeologists today still debate over why this triangular figure exists in so many different ancient cultures…" the official tour guide said. Miz interrupted as Seb snickered "Actually, there's a really simple reason. A creature that looks like that appeared before them and they began to worship him."

The tourist guide gave the girl a smile. "That is not a valid theory. What? Are you suggesting an alien came to those cultures?" He asked.

"I'm saying that all the ancient civilizations throughout history have a common theme in their depictions of this triangular figure." Miz stared up at the man with her hands on her hips. "And much like how multiple cultures have various depictions of dragons based on the dinosaur bones found by the ancient people, it's very possible that some sort of triangular creature used to be around back then. And what's more, that they traveled worldwide and was seen, and remembered by these civilizations."

At the confused expression of the man, Seb grinned. "So yeah, we are saying a triangle alien was around and seen by these lucky people."

The tour guide shook his head, what a crazy group, seriously, and led his group away to the next exhibition. Miz waved at him. "I don't know what's so difficult to understand, seriously, I'm all over the place!" Ford chuckled. "Some people just can't accept that their view of reality is wrong."

"And why CAN'T I reveal the existence of aliens to humanity?" Miz asked him as she took his hand.

"Because humans panic and are scared of things they don't understand...besides, I am pretty sure we would be the first one to try to attack, have you seen those movies? Other countries wouldn't be that dumb to go against superior beings!" Seb shrugged. "We would kick the aliens' butts!" Mabel exclaimed and high-fived her twin and older cousin.

Miz stared at them. "You DO know that Time Baby is going to reform himself in less than a thousand years and then take over the Earth right?"

"Wha?" Seb looked at her. Fuck…"I guess I shouldn't have killed him...right?"

"Time Baby?" Everyone not familiarized with weirdness muttered. "One of the leaders of the Federation in my world, and a Time dictator here." Miz explained. "Wait. I?" Ford looked at Seb. "What do you mean, I?" Seb laughed awkwardly. "We should go see the paintings, huh?"

Ford glared at him and Seb flinched. "It wasn't my fault? Bill was bothering me...then that asshole appeared and I kind of...shouted at him and killed him?" Miz raised her hand "Can confirm, I can shout at things and they die. It's super weird."

"You killed Time Baby?!" Ford cried, pulling at his hair. "Shh!" Seb slapped him in the mouth. "You don't need to shout, and he will regenerate later...and apparently take over Earth...but we won't have to worry about that." He smiled. He killed Time Baby twice. That was a big achievement.

"Ok ok, enough of this. We paid so we better start seeing paintings and act as if we understand the deep meaning behind them." Stan pushed his brothers forward. Miz shrugged and put this behind her for now. She didn't like having to hide her powers in public. She continued their tour through the museum, pointing out everything wrong with the information that humans had about the artifacts.

Dipper groaned. "The worst part is, I can't use any of this information in school because the teachers won't believe me!" He grumbled. That was the problem with getting information from someone who was there versus what humans theorize based on artifacts left behind.

"Just use the false information they gave you." Miz assured the teen. "Keep them in their ignorance but you know the truth now." They had a pleasant time at the museum, barring a few arguments that broke out between Miz and the tour guides. "Dammit! Why do people always think Cleopatra was a sexy seductress? People liked her because she wasn't JUST a pretty face! She was an intelligent woman who frickin' grew up in Alexandria! You know? The CITY OF KNOWLEDGE? She was really smart and witty and INTERESTING to talk to! That's why the emperors were so enamoured with her!"

Ford picked Miz up and carried her away. "I am...so sorry…" he said sheepishly to the startled tour guide.

Zach was very interested in the history behind the paintings, even if he found the paintings themselves to be boring. The way Miz explained stuff always made it sound interesting. He pouted at his twin who was now laying on the floor and refused to walk another step. Oh, Zoe, why was she always like this?

He pulled her leash in addition to dad. "Come on, Zoe, I wanna hear Miz explain more paintings." the girl whined and put her face on the floor. Wanda freed her from the leash and picked her up with a serious face. "What's wrong with you? Can you behave?" Zoe responded with a whine and hid her face on her neck.

Seb came over "What's wrong, baby?" He pet her head. "I...I don't know…" She mumbled. She wanted to behave but she also wanted to go and because she couldn't leave she wanted to burn and break stuff because dumb humans were boring. But her leash kept her from doing that and it angered it and made her want to cry.

Wanda bounced Zoe a little in her arms. "Do you want to sit down? Or are you bored? Do you want to go somewhere else?" she didn't want her baby feeling upset. The little girl just whined again, unable to put her feelings into words and defaulting to unhappy sounds. Wanda sighed. "You guys go on. I'm going to take Zoe outside and let her play in the park for a while."

Zach made to follow her but his leash held him back. "Can I go with Zoe?" He asked. Seb looked back and forth between them. "Well, don't you want to finish the tour?" he asked his son. Zach looked conflicted. He wanted to stay but he didn't want to leave Zoe. They've never been apart like this before. He watched his mother walk away with Zoe in her arms and didn't know what to do.

He sniffled, and Seb was about to panic, when Dipper called the kid. "Hey Zach! How about you walk with us? Only big boys though! So no crying."

"Nothing wrong with crying, whether or not you're a boy~" Miz called back to them as Ford carried her farther away."What about-" Mabel frowned and Dipper pushed her away "Only boys!" He repeated as Mabel pouted. Zach looked one last time at where mom had been standing and then at Dipper with a smile. "Ok…" He promised to be good and Seb freed him from his leash so he could run towards them and take Dipper's hand.

Seb sighed in relief. Zach needed to learn how to survive without Zoe for a little bit...he knew firsthand how bad it was to become dependent, he was like that with his triplets.

He joined his triplets and continued walking around. Stan shook his head slightly. He thought they were pampering the twins a little too much. He spoiled his boys too, but if Diego thought he could throw tantrums to call their attention and didn't want to walk, he would tell him to suck it up and be a man!

Ford continued holding Miz to stop her from attacking poor tour guides about their inaccurate historical knowledge. "Maybe you should just let them stay ignorant?" He suggested. Miz gave him a flat look. "And would YOU like being kept in the dark about true history?" Ford blushed. "Well...no…"

They finished the tour, somewhat tired from walking and with too many mind blowing revelations from Miz to handle. The group left the museum and found Wanda and Zoe sitting at the park near the pond.

"Splash, splash, feeding the fishies." Zoe sang happily as she threw fish food into the water. Wanda bought a little bag of food to keep her entertained. She had burnt off her energy, quite literally, burning sticks in her hand (Wanda made sure no one was watching), and now she was more calm. She wondered how Sebas handled tantrums as a kid. His powers were contained by a seal, it must have been so uncomfortable to not be able to release his stress by burning stuff.

Zoe waved at everyone when she noticed her family coming towards them. "Look! I'm feeding the fishies!" She gave the bag to her twin so he could feed fishies too. Wanda looked at Seb and walked towards him. "I had to let her burn some wood, she was really upset." she told him. Seb sighed. "Geez…"

Mabel went over to feed the fish too. The family settled down in the grass, relaxing after walking off all the food they ate for lunch. Miz found a tree to stand beside so she could be in the shade.

Meanwhile, the kids played, running and jumping around. They had to enjoy all the time they could because when summer was over, they would have to go to school! And that was scary and boring. The adults and the teens watched them play and checked their phones. The teens had been forced to keep their phones on hold while having lunch and at the museum or their parents would take them away, but now they were able to use them freely.

Their quiet time was interrupted by a male voice calling out-

"Carla? Izzat you?"

The brunette took one glance and then had to double back for a second one. Oh gosh. "Ah, hi Zed?" It was a man with long hair tied up in a man bun.

Stan looked at Carla with a raised eyebrow "So? Who's this?"

"He's...Zed, my...ex…" Carla spoke softly. Stan's eyes widened. WOW. WOW...

Carla winced a bit when she noticed Stan growling a little.

"Oh, how long has it been, huh?! Like? 15 years? Maybe even more!" He laughed easily. Stan frowned a little at all...him. He had this natural...hippie vibe. Ugh. He thought those were gone.

"Are you Stanley?! Hello! I'm Zed. I'm so glad you are safe now" He smiled at Stan. "How's your son, Carla?" He asked in a friendly way. Carla pointed at the boys. "He's over there. And our youngest kid is playing there." She explained.

"Wow! Dillon is so big now!" He gasped. Before Stan exploded from how much he was shivering, a woman and a kid approached them. "It was very nice seeing you, Carla! We need to go now, our entirely organic vegan meal is waiting for us~"

"Meat is murder, peace sis~" His partner smiled and walked away.

Stan and Carla stayed silent for a second, blinking, before Stanley turned to look at his wife, who was looking embarrassed.

"You replaced me with a hippie? Seriously, woman?"

"Excuuuuse me? Whadda ya mean replaced?" Carla glared. "You were straight up GONE and left me alone to raise our kid! I had no idea if you'd ever come back, or when. And for your information, this woman has NEEDS!"

The two glared at each other. Everyone else backed away, scared of getting in their fight. "Hey, let's go and hang out… over there! Waaaaay over there!" Wanda said loudly as she herded everyone away to give the two some privacy.

"I can't believe you-" Stan started, but Carla poked him. "And what about you? Are you saying that YOU, Stan Pines, mister libido king himself, never had someone in the 13 years we've been apart? I mean, so you didn't sleep with that Pyronica lady, cool. But I know you, Stan Pines."

"Well if I did it too then you have no right getting mad at me!" Stan cried. Carla snarled, "So it's okay for you to get mad at me for a short fling back when Dillon was 2?!" Stan looked taken aback. Carla continued, "It'd been over a year. It was finally dawning on me that you were really GONE, and that maybe… you won't ever be coming back. I got depressed. I got desperate." She was shaking as she glared up at him. "I just wanted someone! Anyone at all! I just… I couldn't spend another night ALONE!"

"Carla… I…"

She wiped at her eyes. "It didn't even last a year. Zed was nice, but he wasn't YOU." She was turned away from him. "It was a long time ago, Dillon doesn't even remember him. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. But it wasn't important. Zed was nice, but he didn't mean anything to me. Even when I tried. He wasn't you, and being with him only made me feel worse."

Stan was silent for a moment, before he ran a hand through his hair and huffed. "I felt terrible ok?!" He finally admitted it. "After doing it...I tried not to, but I failed a couple of times. I missed you. I'm a grown man with needs. Heck, I tried really hard not to! To keep it to myself. I remembered you, our engagement, and that helped, most of the time. Sometimes it didn't, and it only made me mad and frustrated. But like ya said...It wasn't you. I wanted YOU. The woman I wanted ta get married with!" He smiled a little bit, staring at the floor, hoping he wasn't blushing like some girl.

"It only made it worse when I fucked up and Ford only scolded me and told me he told me not to...There was this woman I almost got married to, out in space, an accident! I swear!" He said quickly. "I'm pretty sure she spiked my drink, she was a bitch! But clever. She stole a few stuff from us, luckily not our equipment… She had like fluffy gray hair and a very sharp tooth, It was weird, you could prolly imagine the shouting that came from Ford that day." He gave Carla a small smile.

Carla leaned on his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I should have told you, shouldn't have kept it from you." She slumped in place. "But I didn't think it was important since it was so long ago. And you were finally here, now. And I just…"

"Yeah, I get it. Sorry for… getting all mad and stuff." He waved a dismissive hand and lifted his woman's chin to kiss her. Yeah, she was his now. It was ok. None of them would need to do that again. They got from each other everything they needed. Physically and emocionally.

Suddenly, they were a loud cry. Seb immediately thought it was one of the twins, but to his surprise and worry, it wasn't them, it was Diego. The kid came running towards them, followed by Zoe who had a really scared look on her face, and seconds later, Zach joined them after he got rid of the problem by setting it on fire. "Daddy! A bee attacked Diego's hand! Help him!" Zoe cried.

"Oh god, my baby!" Carla picked up her crying child. Dillon was quickly by his side, rubbing his little brother's back.

"I killed the bee!" Zach looked proud of himself. Seb wasn't going to tell him it would have probably died anyway. They panicked when Diego began gasping for air. "Hospital!" Carla cried as she looked around wildly. Miz ran up and held onto Diego's hand.

"Miz! Can you heal him?" Stan cried. Miz frowned. "I never healed a bee sting before… venom isn't the same as a physical injury..." she squeezed Diego's hand. "But I can keep him stable until we get to a hospital."

Everyone nodded, worried for the sobbing kid. Stan picked him up and put a hand on his head as he ran to the street, Miz trailing after him. Carla screamed for a taxi driver who immediately stopped and the four of them got in.

"We will be there as soon as possible!" Sebastian assured his panicking brother before they rode off.

"What the hell! Why were you even playing in there if you know fucking bees are everywhere?!" Dillon sternly looked at his little cousins who flinched away. They were sorry, they didn't know bees were there…

"Hey!" Seb snarled at his oldest nephew. "This was just an accident! Don't try to blame my kids, Dillon Pines!" He spat as the twins looked down ashamed.

"I never said-" Dillon started by Seb growled. "You were thinking about it!"

"Man, no one knew, they're just kids, calm down…" Dipper put a hand on his shoulder. Wanda placed a hand on Seb's shoulder. "It's alright. Miz is with him. She will make sure nothing happens."

'How did he even get stung? Shouldn't my Deal with Miz have prevented that?' Wanda worried internally. Was this one of those loopholes? The Deal said they wouldn't be harmed but...did it only work on immediate lethal harm? A bee sting allergy was different. It was the person's own body overreacting to the sting right? Was that what this was?

Wanda hid her worry. This loophole would mean the Deal wouldn't protect them from allergies. But an extreme allergy like Sherman's could actually kill them...in that case the Deal would work? Ugh, magic...

Seb inhaled deeply to calm himself. Everyone was worried, he shouldn't shout at Dillon either, he was worried for Diego, he understood. "We should probably go see them." He declared, checking his phone to see if Stan sent the location of the hospital they were in.

They took a taxi there and after speaking to the receptionist, the family was taken to the ER pediatric room Diego was in and mindlessly watching a cartoon. Miz was sitting on the couch with Carla and Stan, also watching the cartoon. Dillon smiled in relief when he saw Diego was fine, and sat down on the bed with him. "Hey...are you ok?"

"You gave us quite the scare, kid!" Shermie joked and Diego looked at them with a grin. "I'm fine now! It really, really hurt when I got here and I was really dizzy, even with Miz helping, but then before I felt even worse, I started feeling much better! And then with the medicine I felt even more better!"

Ford rolled his eyes, language, but still smiled at the kid. He was glad he was fine.

Wanda blinked and looked at Miz who winked at her and the blonde smiled widely. So that was it...Diego's allergy was turning lethal...and the Deal got him healing before help arrived. That made much more sense… she mouthed a 'thank you' at her daughter. Miz nodded and turned back to the tv, wishing she could change the channel but Carla had the remote.

The room wasn't big enough for the whole family but everyone shuffled in and out to check on Diego and express their relief. Zach and Zoe tearfully apologized but Diego told them it wasn't their fault. That brought up the question of how Diego had been stung in the first place.

"Because the bee attacked in self defence." Miz said quietly. "My Deal only protects you from accidents and intentional harm. A sentient creature attacking in self defence is allowed." After all, what if some member of the Pines family was...say...an abusive asshole? She left that hidden feature of the Deal in so that people can still protect themselves from them.

Dillon crouched in front of the twins who were sitting with Seb, and smiled awkwardly. "I'm sorry for snapping at you, kiddos…" He apologized, he looked at his uncle with a guilty expression. The twins hugged their cousin. "It's ok!" Zach smiled. "We forgive you!" They stayed at the hospital for a few more hours until Diego was deemed stable enough to leave. It actually surprised the doctors a little that he recovered so fast. "But if he's allergic to bees, you should keep an epipen around. Just in case." the doctor told Stan. The middle triplet nodded "We didn't know he was allergic to bees."

The family all went home after that, worn out from the day and wanting nothing more than to relax. Miz and Seb made dinner, they decided to switch out who made dinner for the next week so it would be Seb/Miz, Carla/Kari, Abigail/Wanda and Dillon/Stan.

Kari had wanted Ford, Shermie, Dipper and Mabel to have a turn cooking too but Shermie sheepishly said he only knew how to make sandwiches (to which Abi replied with a loud "They're damn good sandwiches though! We raised two children on sandwiches alone!" "...Mom, that's not how-" "YEAH! SANDWICHES!"), no one trusted Mabel to make their food ("Whadda ya mean glitter isn't edible?!"), Ford wasn't much of a chef (unless coffee counted), and Dipper didn't know much either, but he was willing to help others if needed.

As Seb cooked, Mabel curled up next to her grandma who started petting her curls. "Why don't they let you cook?" Kari asked. Mabel sighed dramatically. "You know, Grandma, people get jealous of those better than them...I don't know why they don't trust me if my cooking is delicious!"

"Is not that we don't like it sweetie…" Abigail started. "We don't like it." Shermie coughed and she nudged him. "Mabel could totally kill us all with glitter in our food!" Seb called from the kitchen and Kari raised an eyebrow.

"You don't comprehend my art!" The girl called back. Kari laughed and shook her head. The only thing she could thank Filbrick for was giving her 4 beautiful babies.

Seb and Miz finished cooking and the kids helped to set the table, feeling super proud of themselves. Everyone's mouths watered at the sight of the steamy and delicious food. Seb and Miz were the best chefs in the family. They made sauteed cauliflower with rice, scrambled eggs and fries. Seb knew it would be the only way to get the twins and Diego to eat the cauliflower. For the meat dish, Miz made some grilled teriyaki skewers with broccoli. She also used the water used to cook the broccoli as a soup base, adding cheese and spices to make something warm and savory.

It was a lot of food, but the Pines really liked to eat, even Seb was starting to eat more, which Wanda and Miz were incredibly proud of.

"Uncle Shermie, food is ready, come!" Zoe climbed over her uncle and excitedly bit his bare arm. "OW! Zoe!" Shermie exclaimed and rubbed his arm. Damn, it hurt! He looked at the toddler's parents with a pout and while Wanda looked apologetic, Seb was laughing his head off.

That was his baby! He was so proud of her!

Miz tilted her head at Zoe. "Does he taste good?" Zoe shrugged. "Not really." Miz looked over at Shermie who was rubbing his arm. "I wonder what humans taste like…"

The Pines family all gave a collective shudder. "I'm sure we don't taste good." Stan laughed nervously. Miz pouted and turned to Ford. "Can I bite you? Just a little?"

"No biting. I don't want teeth anywhere near my body parts." Ford scolded. All the older Pines except Mabel and Kari began coughing. "Hey! Let's eat dinner!" Stan said loudly as he sat down to eat. They had a lively dinner and settled in the living room for a movie before bed. The problem was WHICH movie.

"Ghost Harassers has a full documentary movie~" Dipper whined. He held up the DVD. "Come on~please~?" he begged. "Dream Boy High XVI! The return of the Boogie!" Mabel shook her brother. "Lion Emperor!" Diego suggested. "Knotted!" Zoe yelled. "Freezer?" Zach asked. "Oh! Oh! Any kid movie is fine too!" Mabel then exclaimed.

"Gah! Too many options!" Seb pulled at his hair. "How about we send the kids to bed and we stay to watch a real movie?! Everyone wins!" He was hit by a pillow glowing blue. Zach glared. "No, bad dad!"

They decided to go for a classic children's movie, so they put on Belle and the Furry Dude. Mabel squealed. She loved the life action movie! Miz grumbled about how the live action movie was awful and destroyed everything good about the original animated movie. "They TELL her about the curse! That means it can't be true love because she KNOWS that if she DOESN'T love him, they're gonna die! That makes her declaration of love unauthentic and caused by guilt and sympathy, not real love!"

Miz threw such a fit about it, they watched the original animated movie instead. Phones were put away on a table because it was family time and after a "No, Sherman, we all have to work, suck it.", all of them were curled up in front of the huge flat TV. The kids insisted on popcorn, even when they just ate, and now they had a little bowl for them to share.

Wanda smiled and hugged Sebastian's arm as the movie started. She remembered the dresses he made for her cousins as kids...

Shermie commented that the love wasn't authentic in this version either because the girl must be going through Stockholm syndrome and Miz went off on a rant again about how THIS wasn't Stockholm syndrome at all.

"Belle was not imprisoned against her will, she ASKED the beast to take her in place of her father. She made a choice to be a prisoner in order to save her father. And she's an angry, uncooperative prisoner who refuses to do anything the beast asks of her until HE concedes and starts treating her better. She was afraid of him, but she was defiant. That's not Stockholm." She said heatedly. "You know what IS Stockholm syndrome? Rapunzel and her adoptive witch mother. The witch treats Rapunzel like a possession and manipulates her with lies. And yet, Rapunzel loved and trusted her because she thought that was her mom. And then there's Frollo and Quasimodo in which Quasi LITERALLY calls him MASTER!" Miz was very much angry about this.

"The only issue with Belle and Beast's relationship is that people who DIDN'T understand the point of the movie thought it was about how if your partner is angry and violent, you should stay with them to help because obviously they're a nice person underneath. Which WASN'T the point." Miz explained. "Notice what happens whenever Beast is being mean, or yells or is violent? Belle turns away, scolds him about it and even runs away from the castle. When he realizes he was wrong for acting and treating her the way he did, he tries to change and be nice, attentive to HER needs and treats her with respect like a decent human being, she then, and ONLY then, responds with true kindness and understanding of her own. That's what the point of the movie was! Mutual kindness and understanding. Belle is a nice girl, but she doesn't put up with bullshit. That's why she can't stand Gaston!" Miz pointed at the screen.

"Like, you see that scene where Belle and Beast are eating? He's trying really hard to use a spoon but he can't. Belle can SEE that he's trying so she finds a compromise in the middle where she sips from the bowl, letting him know that she is going to eat in the way HE does as a way of letting him know it's ok to not be able to eat like a human, as long as he tried. Made an attempt, because that's what this is. The movie is Beast trying to better himself and not be a dick anymore. Belle can see that he's legitimately trying and THAT'S why she stays."

Everyone blinked at Miz's rant. Eventually, Zach smiled. "That's adorable." He cooed and Zoe shrugged. "I am just here for the songs." The little girl said and Miz rolled her eyes. The movie finally finished, so it was time to go to sleep. As always, the kids made a fuss and tried everything in their power to escape, but they had all the adults against them.

Miz looked at Ford who had gone back to the table once everyone struggled with Diego and the twins. "Are you going to sleep now? I'm tired."

"You can go, I have to finish something first." He looked down at his book and Miz thought his concentrated face looked pretty hot. Damn handsome Pines boys. She slid a little closer and spent some time just staring at his face. It wasn't like she COULDN'T see his face, or any other human face. It was simply more difficult for her to tell people apart without all the other cues she had to look for. Hair style, clothing, colors, shape… She COULD tell people apart. She had aesthetic types after all.

If Ford noticed her scrutiny, he didn't react to it. Miz continued to examine him, tracing the edges of his profile with her eyes. She liked the curve of his shoulders. Stan was slightly wider, rounder. Seb was thinner and had sharper angles, which she decided meant that He was the handsomest (heck, she grew up as a Shape, some of it rubbed off on her). Still, she really liked Ford too. He had a distinguished look about him, his face set into a slight frown as he concentrated.

She reached out to brush a finger along the few gray hairs forming at his temples. Ford startled. "Miz? What are you-?"

"Don't mind me. Just admiring the view." Miz continued to brush her hands through his hair. Ford blinked at her before going back to his book, writing something down. He relaxed at the sensation. It felt kind of nice having his hair brushed. Soothing. He commented quietly "Do you find humans aesthetically attractive?"

"Some humans. I'm kinda picky." Miz said. Ford nodded. "Do you find humans sexually attractive? I know you said you were Ace, but I'm told that there's a difference." He might as well learn more about her. He flipped his book over to the chapter dedicated to his observations and study of MizBill Cipher. The word William was on the top of the page. He remembered how he started this entry around 18 years ago.

"Sexually? Ugh, not really. I mean, I do like to watch humans copulate sometimes. But I just like WATCHING. I'm not really into...actually laying with any of you. No offense."

"None taken. I think I feel the same way, I think that's what being asexual means, from what I've read up on it.". Ford nodded. He paused and his cheeks warmed up. "You-You like to watch humans have sex?"

Miz paused and then it was Xin sitting there, leaning against the table. There. More age appropriate. He nodded, a faint blush on his face as he slid his finger around on the table, unable to look Ford in the eyes. "It's entertaining. And I created an entire planet while I was drunk once...in which various porn stuff happens on it...and I kinda…" He ducked his head, bright red, but still grinning "...get off on watching them…"

"O-Oh…" Ford blushed even redder. "That...is...I didn't know…" He frowned. Bill made his own planet to watch porn… "I didn't expect that." His face looked slightly disturbed.

"Don't tell anyone!" Xin pleaded and Ford gaped at him. "Do you really THINK I would mention such a thing to anyone?! Do you know how annoying my family is?" He joked. Stan and Shermie would never let him hear the end of it. Xin wiggled in his seat.

"Well...anyway...despite that, the idea of doing it myself is just...gross. And humans have all those gross, slimy fluids that are just...ew…I wouldn't mind touching, but actually doing it? No way"

Ford laughed. "Yes. It is rather unsanitary to think about."

Xin winced. "You must understand...right? You mentioned you weren't interested when we met that other 8-Ball." At his nod, Xin grinned a bit wider. So he understood.

"Actually, I can sort of understand about reading porn but not wanting to experience it." Ford was blushing so hard he felt like his head would pop off. "I… ah… might have read a few books that weren't strictly about science."

"Oh, really now?" Xin thought Ford was the type of asexual who simply didn't feel anything at all. Ford coughed. "I was a teenager once. Raging hormones and horniness were...problems I had to deal with."

Xin scooted his chair closer with a grin. "So you do feel romantic attraction either? To women? Men? Both?"

This time, the scientist looked less sure. "Eh~ I'm not sure. I had some random crushes on girls in my school. Never went anywhere, I didn't know how to talk to girls. Still don't." Xin gave him a long look and then poofed back into Miz and grinned.

"You're talking to me just fine." Miz shrugged. Ford paused. "Not quite sure this counts." He chuckled "And if I ever felt something for a boy I have no way to distinguish it now. Or know if it was simple admiration or not."

"I'm pretty sure you have a thing for Tesla." Miz deadpanned. Ford snorted so hard he choked.

After he managed to get his lungs working properly again, Ford laughed. "He was my idol, don't… ah… not quite the same, but I guess in some way, I had a 'thing' for him. I-I am told he qualifies as quite handsome." Ford admitted.

He reached a hand out to pet Mi's head and was surprised when she poofed back into Xin.

"Well I think you're fine talking to anyone, girl or boy. You just get stressed when you're in situations where you think you need to act in a certain way, but don't know what that 'way' is."

Ford blinked. That was… an incredibly accurate description of his anxiety.

Xin leaned into Ford's hand. "Me though? I have no issue talking to people, even when I have a crush on them. I mean, like, whatever, right? Though I do get all these squirming feelings inside me, so that might get in the way of smooth conversation." Xin leaned against the table again, slumping in place.

"I'm more… concerned with choice. I don't want to be told who I'm allowed to be with, or even that I HAVE to be with anyone at all. Things were really strict back in the Flatlands. The Council decided who you were Paired with. And once you were Paired, you had to Click and produce children. You were required to." Xin scowled. "That was what really pissed me off. The fact that I wasn't allowed any choice in the matter, regardless of my sexuality."

Xin looked up at Ford. "But I guess… if I ever found someone I actually liked in that way, and if they wanted to do something physical, I wouldn't mind some touching. I like touching. And I like making people feel good."

Ford adjusted his glasses and nodded. "My mother basically tries every time she sees me to find someone for me to have kids with."

Xin couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Granny Kari REALLY wants grandkids, but I'm sure she'll accept it someday! Maybe convince one of your brothers to make another kid!" She suggested as a joke. "And there's always artificial insemination."

"But I don't even have a partner to do that with." Ford sighed. "Besides, I'm much too busy to go out and date. I can't just pick some random woman, that's irresponsible and wouldn't be fair to her or me." He sighed "And I wouldn't want to have a child with someone that I didn't like. And I might even have to marry her, just for the sake of polite society. I don't have the time to get to know someone like that, even less to take care of a child!"

"Well, sucks to be you." Xin giggled. Ford rolled his eyes. "Well, you've had kids. How did that work?"

Xin paused. "Well...Ammy was an accident. A virgin birth, as it were, when one of my ejected Pieces somehow got incubated and gained a Soul."

"I would love to study your reproductive system someday." Ford nearly bounced at the thought. Xin shot him down with a "Naw, no way. Nothing related to my reproductive parts." and Ford pouted like a sad owl.

"As for my other kids...well, they weren't mine, technically. Quackers was given to me through a Deal when her asshole of a mother willingly sold her own firstborn to me…"

"That's horrible!" Ford gasped.

"...and Pyrone and Pynelope were Pyronica's kids. Speaking of having children with someone you don't know, since Pyronica's species eat their own mates, it's actually normal to not have emotional connections with their mate. There are some who DO fall in love...but that just makes it tragic."

"So you became the kids'...dad?" Ford asked. Xin shrugged. "I don't know...They called me both...but it didn't really matter, I just loved them a lot." He smiled a bit, somehow managing to look sad while doing so, and leaned on Ford's arm. Ford stroked his hair comfortingly. "I bet you did, you are really good with kids, and when I met them they seemed to love you as well."

"I know...I still...miss them." Xin sighed. "Sadly, my grandkids don't like me and want nothing to do with me once their parents died." he closed his eyes "Rince hated me ever since she was a baby. I never understood why…"

He hugged Ford's arm, trying to put this thought behind him. It was a long time ago. Heck, his grandchildren were long dead by this point. He had decided to stay out of their lives, there was one time he tried, just… tried to stay in touch, but…

"Everything wrong with us is YOUR fault!"

Xin shook his head. That was a long time ago. Don't...don't think about it. Ford gazed down at the sad looking man and hugged him a little tighter. "It's ok…" He said, confused as to how to comfort his friend. He was terrible at this. "We like you a lot, and your friends too...you don't need them, if they didn't care about you."

Xin buried his face in Ford's shirt. He took a few deep breaths, allowing himself to calm. It's fine. He had his Friends and new Family now. They loved him and it was fine even if not everyone loved him, because the people who mattered loved her. Best of all, they were people he CHOSE. Only Ammy was actually related to him... Seb and Blue, technically. Everyone else was someone who chose to be with him because they loved him and not due to familial obligations.

"You're right…" he rubbed his cheek against Ford's chest. Oh, he liked his cologne. Nice~ kinda a sweet, spicy smell. Xin wondered what it tasted like...

Ford finished reading his book, stroking Xin's long black hair from time to time and chuckling at the soft purrs he made. Ford pulled Xin closer when he felt the dragon's breathing going even. He wasn't sure what happened next, everything was so warm…

Ford blinked, lowering himself slowly. His eyelids felt heavy, and Xin was so soft against his side. Warm...

Stan, wearing his boxers and his undershirt, glared moodily at the two idiots who were cuddled against each other at the table. "Can you go to your room now, Poindexter? It is like, 2:30 am." No response. Great. They were fucking asleep. He looked at them closer and rolled his eyes. Ford was drooling on his book and mumbling stuff, probably Pi.

Ok. Fine. They could sleep there. Who cared?!

He came back one last time to cover them with a blanket. He was a good brother.

Ford woke up the next morning with his fluffly hair trapped between Xin's antlers. Needless to say, his triplets laughed at him for it.

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Wooo Theyre up for a summer full of adventures! Stay tune~