Slices of Life and Family

by bluefrostyy

PART 3 of The life of Sebastian Pines! (Read that first, I doubt you'll understand what's going on) The story follows Seb's life after Gravity Falls. Bill was defeated, but the Pines family still have thousands of adventures together. Old characters will come back, new characters will make an appearance, all to accompany Seb through his journey as a human (Cowritten with Mizuuma)

31. Chapter 31 Fun in the sun

Hello we're back! with more weirdness please enjoy

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After they got bored of swimming and playing in the sand, Kari and Xin demanded that they all needed to go clothes shopping. For that, everyone had to go get ready first. Take a bath to get rid of the sand and wet clothes and put on some others. It took a while, they were a lot of people and they had little kids who still needed help.

It also took longer than necessary because the teens and Ford were refusing to take a bath. Seb rolled his eye. He had knocked on Stan and Shermie's doors to inform them about the shopping trip and he had the decency to blush when Stan opened the door, wrapped up in a blanket, looking disheveled and completely happy.

"Well, did you finish having sex with Carla?" Seb crossed his arms. "Get ready, we're going to buy clothes." Stania nodded slowly. "Not done yet! But she passed out after our third round..." She grinned. "But we can go shopping…" Seb (blushing) was sure that after having all this time for themselves they wouldn't mind taking a shower.

When he went back to the teens and Ford, Xin was still trying to get them to take a bath. "Seriously, it's your own body. You can't go out covered in sand!"

"Nope! I will never take a bath, I prefer being a sand monster." Mabel crossed her arms over her now flat chest. Dipper imitated her. "Yeah, I'm not taking a bath either. Change us back."

"I can't change you back right now, the curse is set . Sorry 'bout that by the way." Xin deadpanned. "Now get your asses to your rooms and PLEASE take a damn shower!" He kept quiet about how he'd be able to break the Curse at any time. He just didn't want to.

Dillon sighed defeatedly. He didn't want to admit this, but he wanted to go to the bathroom, so he would have to see his body eventually. "Can I get paid? Consider you just modified my chromosomes and I am a shocked innocent victim because of my parents' fuckery."

Xin tilted his head before handing Dillon a pearl necklace. Seb groaned and stepped up to take the pearls before Dillon could. "Stop that. You can't just keep handing these out." Xin pouted. "But they're pearls. Not gold. It won't mess with the inflation for gold value!"

"Um, teen waiting for their pearl necklace here? Aunt Sab?" Dillon pouted impatiently. "I will even wash my hair with a hair conditioner or whatever the other bottle is for." Seb sighed and handed him the necklace. Danna grinned and ran to her room. She wasn't lying, she actually was starting to get annoyed at the sand that had gotten between her breasts.

Xin turned to the twins. Mabel blushed as she looked down at herself. "I mean...I won't say I'm not...interested to know what I look like but...I don't know if I can...I mean, a bath means I'll have to touch it!" She gestured vaguely to her lower half.

"Same." Dipper deadpanned. Xin rolled his eyes. "Well, maybe if you try…" Dipper shook his head. "Nope. Never. I don't want to."

"...have you never touched a woman's body before?" Xin questioned. "Not even Llama's?"

"Not like... that way…" Dipper rubbed her arm. "We just kiss…" He admitted. Mabel booed. Xin waved for her to stop. "Hey, he's going at his own pace. Just because you're dating doesn't mean you HAVE to have sex. That's stupid and problematic." Xin turned to Dipper and placed his hands on his (her?) shoulders. "It's fine if you haven't gotten that far. You shouldn't feel pressured into doing it just because people expect you to." Xin gave her a comforting smile. "What matters is your comfort and how YOU and Llama feel. Ok?"

Dipper smiled gratefully at him. "Thanks, Xin…" The dragon nodded. "You're welcome." Seb rolled his eyes. "Well, you still need to take a bath, virgin or not."

Dipper and Mabel whined. Xin scoffed. "You SHOULD do this. After all, I bet your school didn't teach you shit about sexual education, this will be a good learning experience. It's literally your body! And wouldn't you rather learn here, with your own bodies, where it's safe, than when you're actually trying to do it with your partner in the future?" He looked back and forth between them "Wouldn't you like to learn how this works so that when you DO decide to get with someone in the future, you have an idea of how it works?"

The twins grumbled, annoyed. They knew Xin was (sort-of) right and it actually made sense. Stil...embarrassing. "We want money as well." Markus finally declared. Seb rolled his eye. Kids these days...

"Try not to spend it all in one place." Xin muttered as he handed each of them a pearl necklace as well. Xin paused. "Where are you even going to exchange that after we kinda...got the pawn shop closed down?" Seb sniggered. "There are other pawn shops. I can show you guys around after we're done showering."

The twins nodded and left for their room. They'll have to take turns... Seb and Xin turned their attention onto Ford. "So. Why are you still here? Please tell me you aren't even more embarrassed than the CHILDREN about this?" Sab glared.

Xin looked at his hands. "Do you want pearls to go take a bath as well?" He was going to need more food after this. Maybe he should start feeding more actively on the emotions around here to regain his power. Ford sighed loudly. "I still find this change...uncomfortable. You should have only changed Stanley and Carla." Sab gasped. "And let Stan go through this on his own? Where is your sisterly love?"

Xin blushed. "I was kinda annoyed and hit all of you with the Curse. The children and granny were exempt since they didn't fall under the parameters at the time." He tugged at a lock of his hair. "Sorry." Seb wrapped an arm around Ford's tense shoulders. "Fordsie, this is cool, and weird! Don't you like weird things? Please~ Ma really wants to spend some time with us! Um...do it for science!" He pleaded, knowing that word convinced his brother to do almost anything.

Ford sighed. "I'm sorry, I admit it is very fascinating but that doesn't get rid of my discomfort, I'm a man and the curse messing with my perspective like this is...scary." He looked at his slender hands.

"I think that's called body dysphoria or something." Xin rubbed his chin, "I'm not sure what terms are anymore. I think that's right?"

Seb pouted hard. "I know that you might not be liking this...but it really isn't that bad as a temporary thing…" He said softly. "We are still triplets, we're still the same, being women doesn't change that. You're still our oldest sibling and the most intelligently dumb genius to ever exist!"

Ford sighed. "I guess, but I feel how I feel." Xin hugged her. "Would you like me to manually remove the mental dissonance so you didn't feel so uncomfortable? It might be a little difficult with that metal plate though…"

Ford lifted her glasses to run a hand across her face. He didn't think it could work...and he'd appreciate not having Xin trying to get in his mind, even if he was a good Bill. "I...no, it-...I can bear it for seven days…" He said softly, almost to himself. Seb smiled widely and hugged him. "Yes! You're best! Hey, how about you take this as an experiment? Measure how the spell affected us all and all that stuff...Scientific method~" He sing-songed.

Ford sighed. Looks like he would have to. "Well, I suppose I may as well. But I'm not going to like it." He slumped off to his room. Finally, it was just Sab and Xin. "Aren't you going to take a shower?" Sab asked her son. Xin sighed. "Well Ford's got the bathroom. I'll have to wait-" Xin's stomach growled. "-and I think I'm going to head down for some food first."

Seb nodded. "Alright. Have fun I guess." He waved bye to Xin as the dragon headed back downstairs. Xin opened up his empathic senses to start actively absorbing the emotions in the air. He normally had it turned off nowadays (as much as he could with something like this at least), and shielded himself when they were out in public due to getting overloaded, but maintaining this curse and the perception filter was draining from him constantly so he might be alright with opening back up.

Xin stumbled a little as the emotions flooded in. All the guests and workers at the hotel. Keeping his empathy closed for so long made it surge out once he let go. The range slowly shrank back to the usual area. He moaned softly as he felt his power fill back up, his abilities converting emotions into pure energy. Frustration. Joy. Excitement. Worry. Lust. Confusion. Irritation. Xin shook his head, there were so many flavors. He went downstairs to the dining hall and passed a few groups of women who turned to stare at the shirtless man.

Lust.

Xin stumbled slightly. Oh. That was a huge spike in emotion right there. One of the women reached out to grab his arm before he could fall. "Are you alright?" She blushed as her eyes roamed down this handsome man's bare chest. Lust .

Xin shook his head. "Ah...I'm fine, just a little tired from being in the sun earlier." He pulled his arm from her grip. "S-sorry, I don't like getting grabbed like this. Thank you for catching me though." Xin swayed as the waves of emotions hit him and were absorbed. Maybe this had been a bad idea. Probably shouldn't have gone without his headband.

The group of women began to surround him. "No problem. Say, are you free right now?" One asked as she allowed her eyes to roam around his form. Xin was still dressed in only his swim trunks and sandals. She and her friends had failed with that hot blond earlier but this more delicate piece of man meat didn't have a wedding ring. Lust .

Xin blushed as he felt himself start to grow warm at the intense flavor in the air. "W-well I was going to go eat a late lunch…" the women all grinned. "Then, can we accompany you? We're here on vacation and don't know anyone except each other." they came closer and Xin shrugged. "I guess? I'm just going to be eating though…"

"That's fine." one woman said, looking down at the nice curve of his butt. Another was admiring his slanted eyes. How exotic. Lust .

Xin was blushing pretty hard now. He tried to extract himself politely from the group. "Um, c-can I get to the dining room please? You're kind of...in my way…" He managed to get past them, having to slide through them and made a run for the dining room. Women were scary.

To his dismay, they followed him. The group giggled at how shy this man was. Xin, meanwhile, was trying to muffle some moans as the energy he was absorbing started to affect him. The saturation of Lust was making him feel warm and pleasant all over. Xin quickly cut his powers off. Nope. Too much. No more please. He clamped down his Empathy and held it.

His stupid body had been about to react. That would have been embarrassing. Unfortunately, just because he cut off the absorption, didn't stop the women from sitting down at his table and trying to talk to him. At least he wasn't being overloaded by lust anymore.

"So...what's your name, handsome?" One of them purred. Xin grimaced. Help! "X-Xin…"

"Ooh and where do you come from?" "Are you all alone here?" "If you want we can keep you company…" Another woman slowly traced his hand with a finger. Xin pulled away. He didn't like this! Stupid sexy body! What could he do to get food and get these women off him?

"G-Guys, I-I-I have a girlfriend!" He suddenly burst out without thinking. "Y-Yeah, a girlfriend! Her name is Stefania, she's a mad genius, and-and pretty and-and I'm with her and it's definitely not a lie." He blushed as he lied, not used to directly lying in such a way. (He was usually much better at it! Damn distractions! That's what he got for being so down in his vessel, letting physical sensation affect him!) But, if he was honest...being with Fordsie wouldn't be...bad. Besides, everyone already thought they were together...he doubted Stanford would want to be with him though. (Not to mention Blue would be SO unbearable if he found out his precious little sister might have a bit of a 'squirmy feelings' for someone, and a Stanford on top of that.)

The women easily picked up on the lie, grinning like sharks. Aw~he was shy~that made this more fun for them~ one took hold of his arm in a light hug, making him stiffen and it was only all his sessions with Ford that stopped him from throwing her off him. "A girlfriend? Really?" Xin shuddered. Another wave of Lust, it was harder to block it out when they were directly touching. He clamped down on his Empathy with all his mental strength. No. No more. He hid a hand beneath the table and formed a modified headband as a bracelet. And yeah, he wasn't wearing the cyber gauntlet, didn't think he needed it. And it felt weird when he was playing in the sand.

To his embarrassed horror, his stupid body was beginning to react. Especially when the women began playing with his hair and squeezing his arms. "It's so soft, what conditioner do you use?" One marveled. "It's not even tangled despite the salty sea air." "Your skin is so soft~"

Xin clamped his legs together (glad for the long table cloth) and gently pushed the women off him. "Please stop. I'm not comfortable with this." He glared. Enough was enough. His power hummed under his flesh, his instincts begging (demanding) him to do something awful to these women for daring to touch him.

"Aw~but you're clearly enjoying the attention~" one pointed out and Xin cursed at the fact that he was only wearing swim trunks. He blushed as he covered himself. "Just 'cause my body likes it, doesn't mean I want this!" he growled. The women sighed. "Why not? Are we not good enough for you?" "Come on, this is our vacation~" "It's not like we want a full relationship~just a little fling~for fun!"

Xin growled. "That's the problem! I don't like flings! If I'm going to do something like this, not that I even want to, it would need to be with someone I love and trust! Not some random strangers!" he cried vehemently. The women looked taken aback. Weren't men supposed to like sex? One of them sighed. "Alright. If you really feel that strongly…" they looked disappointed. To Xin's relief, they left.

Which meant Xin had to sit there, hiding his boner under the table and wait for the damn thing to go away. Stupid physical reactions to lust energy...

At least he wasn't hungry anymore. This was plenty energy to get him through the rest of the day. (Lust was really a powerful source of energy… well, he understood now why the Succubus race were so hooked on it as a source of nutrition.)

Alright, Xin, calm down! Think of un sexy things! Think of unsexy things! He screamed in his mind. Stupid body, stupid! To his incredible relief, his boner went away. He simply thought about cute puppies and kittens. Wholesome and not sexy.

Before he was preyed on again by scary women, he went upstairs to his room to get ready himself. He sighed. That was so close…but he was proud of his self-control. He was really glad for his sessions with Fordsie (else he'd have shoved them bodily off him, or even hurt them in his panic to get away), he should have listened to Jessie earlier (about getting someone to do the exposure thing, for desensitization). He went to the room he was supposed to be sharing with Zach and Zoe. Zach was with Walter in his room for the shower and Xin could hear Zoe and Sabrina showering here.

He debated if he should turn back into Miz, just to avoid such incidents in the future. Xin went to sit on his bed and sighed. He liked being sexy. He designed his forms to be sexy. But he didn't really think of what that would mean. Xin was a nature god, worshipped and revered by his people, they would never dare to try and seduce him like that, it was disrespectful. And blasphemous! And Jan had bodyguards specifically to prevent such attempts. He had never really dealt with this sort of thing before on a personal, up close level.

Sure there were the occasional idiot summoner who thought they could entice Bill Cipher for sex as payment for a Deal (Ewww) but they never really got a reaction out of him. He simply wasn't interested and those people had never really desired him for his body. But people desired him like this . Xin stood in front of the mirror and trailed his hands down his body. He made himself sexy , but he'd never thought of himself as desirable .

sighed, unsure how to feel. He liked looking hot , but he didn't like other people reacting to his hotness and being touchy feely with him. He made himself sexy for his own enjoyment, not for other people. He didn't want to change his appearance, he worked hard to design Xin. Frankly, he didn't know what to do.

The sounds of the shower cut off and Xin decided he would ask Sabrina about it. Maybe she/he would know.

He laid down facing the ceiling as the two came out. Sabrina, wrapped with a towel around her chest (this was so much easier when one had breasts to support it instead of a flat chest), sighed loudly when she forgot to bring clothes. Guess she'll have to wait for Walts to finish. "Zoe, go grab what you want to wear." She instructed the little girl enveloped in a crocodile bathrobe. Zoe nodded and went to the drawer where she put all her clothes, all by herself!

"Daddy, will you be a mommy forever?" She asked curiously. "No, just a week." Seb sighed and the girl looked up at her. "Oh, ok. I think you and mommy look nice this way too. Mommy is a lot, a lot, a lot bigger than you as a boy. Like, this big!" She climbed to the bed and jumped to show just how tall her new daddy was.

Seb laughed and walked over to jumping girl with some shorts and underwear to dress her up, seeing Zoe was too distracted right now. "Yeah, she's taller." Zoe looked at Sab's chest, half covered with the towel, and she curiously put her little hands over her mother's chest to feel them and poke them. She hugged her, resting her face between the soft chest...and bit her.

"OOOWWWW!" Sabrina shrieked and pulled Zoe off her. "Ow! What the fuck?! Why did you bite me?!" She whined, and rubbed her aching chest. Zoe pouted. "But they're so soft and I thought they would be chewy…"

"You don't bite breasts!?" Sab scolded her daughter, with a very confused and worried expression "Just, don't bite people in general! Or I'll have to bite you back!" (Like Blue had suggested.)

"Not fair! You bite people too! You already bite me!"

"I don't bite you hard, and that's not true, I stopped biting people!" ...well, he bit people less, he thought to himself. (Ok, no wonder Zoe never learned, she saw her dad doing it too… Seb resolved to be a better role model.) Zoe pouted. She thought it would be ok. "I'm sowy, mommy." She also bit real mommy, but she never shouted like daddy did. She was going to stop, she didn't want to hurt her. She started biting her finger instead.

"Zoe, stop that. When I say no biting, I mean no biting yourself either." Sab sighed. Seb knew, she was being a hypocrite, but she wanted Zoe to grow up...not like her. Xin took that time to speak up. "Have you tried giving her chewing gum? The no sugar kind?"

Sab frowned. She was a little young to have chewing gum, but she guessed it was better than having Zoe hurt herself with the little needles she had as teeth. And perhaps Seb should try if it works for him too. "Ok, we can get chewing gum, ok? The non-sugar kind because cavities suck. But first, let's get changed." She motioned for the giggling girl to get closer to dress her up.

As they dressed, Xin commented "Hey Sab?" Sabrina hummed "What's up?" She wasn't really paying attention, more focused on getting Zoe into her clothes. "How do I keep people from lusting over me?"

"Uh?" The woman blinked. She stopped half way in getting Zoe into her t-shirt and the girl shrieked. She was trapped! Help! "From, lusting over you? Well...that isn't something you can stop, I think. People will look at you, naked or covered from head to toe if they find you appealing."

"Some ladies earlier tried to solicit me. They touched me even when I told them I wasn't interested…" Xin rolled onto his side. "I don't want them to do that." Sab's eyes went wide. "They TOUCHED you?!" she growled. Xin nodded, curling in on himself. Sab wanted to find these women who dared to molest his brother/son and bite THEM.

"They were letting out a lot of Lust and even made my body react...I...didn't like it…" Xin admitted quietly. His tail came out to curl around the blankets for comfort.

"Oh, Xin, I'm so sorry to hear that." Seb sat down next to him, ignoring Zoe who fell to the floor as she tried pulling her t-shirt down, and hugged him. "That was not nice, but while there are assholes everywhere, like those women and the bitches trying to flirt with Wands, there are respectful people too, who wouldn't touch you. I think it was just bad luck…" She rubbed his shoulder. "Do you want us to go hunt them down?"

Xin shrugged. "I don't know. I want to do something horrible to them, but I think that would be considered 'bad' right?" It was Sab's time to shrug. "Yeah...to some people. But morality is relative!" She grinned. "And if it was me, I would have hurt them...though, as Wands is my conscience for human morals, I guess it relies on me to tell you, don't do it and we can forget about the incident by shopping."

Xin smiled. "I'd like that." Sab gave him a hug. "Well, go take a shower then." Xin nodded and sat up, resolving to put this behind him and just enjoy himself. He went to the bathroom, still warm and misted up from the previous shower, and pulled his swim trunks off.

He couldn't help but brush the condensation off the mirror so he could look at himself. He blushed a little as he posed, naked in front of the mirror. He shook his butt and muffled a laugh, that was a nice butt. He remembered designing this body and having too much fun making the butt larger and larger. He placed a hand on it, so round and soft. He blushed.

R-right. He came in for a shower. He almost tripped in his haste to get in and slide the curtains closed. Damn. Now he really wanted to touch himself. The lust he'd absorbed earlier was still buzzing under his skin. It would take a while to convert it into pure energy without the emotional flavor but he could get it done much faster by indulging in the lust to get it out of his system.

He did this before and after Jan's concerts too sometimes.

Xin blushed. How long had it been since he'd last indulged? And...wouldn't it be better if he got this lust out of his system before they went shopping? He checked to make sure the curtain was fully closed and allowed his mental barrier to drop.

(This scene has been removed due to Frosty enforced censorship.) )

(If you're 18+ and really wanna read it, it's posted here: deletednsfw. / post/ 613620967957250048/ slices-of-life-and-family-chapter-31 ) (fill the blanks)

Eventually, he got up and finished washing himself off. Ugh. Stupid Lust. The other emotions he fed on would make him happy or sad or agitated or whatever, but Lust always affected his physical body and it was really annoying. He ended up using magic to clean his hair since he was taking too long in here and finally turned off the water after he scrubbed down the tiles to make sure all traces of his fun were cleaned off.

He squeezed some of the water out of his hair and sighed. He did feel a lot better after getting that out of his system. He also felt mildly ashamed for having to do so. He blushed, he didn't fantasize about being fucked very often, he normally fantasized about watching other people get fucked. Xin shook his head. Well, whatever, it's done, he was satisfied and he had a nice day of shopping to look forward to.

As Xin took a shower, Sabrina called Walter. She pouted and told him to bring her his clothes. Walter laughed at her, rude, but he agreed. He was changed and Zachary was dressed up as well. When Miz changed them, she also somehow changed the clothes they were wearing at the moment. They looked the same, but they were adapted to fit their new taller or shorter frames. In case of the former men, they got bras, but Seb was sure his brothers and nephews threw them away the second they noticed they were wearing them.

They had to wear the same clothes again, but at least they were going to buy some new clothes for the week, and if they didn't put on the magic bra, he'd force them to get one.

She thanked the blond when he brought her clothes and quickly changed to check on her sisters. First she went to Abraham and Shelly. Good, they were ready. And aaw~, He helped her put on her bra! That's so sweet. So mature~ The older twins were ready as well. Mabel definitely forced her brother to wear it, haha. He high-sixed her for the good job of getting Dipper dressed. Dillon was ready as well, watching cartoons with Diego, both curled up on a bed. He cooed loudly at them. He was scared of going to Stan and Carla, and when he heard a "Over my dead body you are putting that on me!" He decided not to bother, he trusted Carla to get Stan to suck it up.

Finally, he went to check on her oldest sister/brother. She knocked on the door. "Fordsie, is me! Your favorite sister! Can I come in?"

The voice that replied was kind of muffled but she heard the 'Come in'. Seb entered the room and closed the door once again. Turns out Ford was in the bathroom. "You ok?"

"Urgh! Damn it! Ye-Yeah!" Sab leaned back. "Do you need help with something?" She made a shitty grin. If it was what she thought it was…

"Damn it, Sebastian, I can get dressed on my own!"

Haha! There it was! Sabrina stood up and opened the bathroom's door. Fania screamed angrily, holding the damn piece of underwear he couldn't put on his chest. Seb cackled as the older woman shouted. "Get out!"

"I can't believe you're really putting it on willingly! You're the only one besides me who did so, congratulations!" Sab grinned widely. Ford growled and sat down on the toilet lid. She was wearing pants already, that was good. "I didn't want to...but this" She gestured at her chest. "Was bothering me too much to be bearable and I guessed that if it had some kind of support-"

"A bra." Seb said usefully and Ford grumbled. "Yeah, that. But I can't put it on! What kind of useless contraption is this?! It's impossible!" He just wanted to put the damn thing on and his shirt (which had been shrunk and cut in a more 'feminine' form, much to his shock), and be over with this already.

Sebas laughed and nodded. "Ok, here, let me help." He ordered the sulking woman to turn around and easily strapped it on her back. While her breasts weren't small, by a glance Sab could see all his sisters' were slightly bigger. Fair, they were much larger than him. Ford gaped at him. "What? How did you do it so fast?!"

"Well, I have a wife, and I'm not a dumb nerd like you, I've seen how bras work." He teased. Ford huffed. "Whatever." He grabbed his shirt and angrily put it on. He looked up, seeing Seb admiring his long hair. "Seb...did you want to be a woman?" He just wanted to know, he was taking this too well. Sab shrugged. "I don't mind either, I would have complained the same if I was reborn as your sister...I think I don't see much of a difference...and I think it comes from the fact that in my past self humans were just humans…" She explained softly. "Being a woman is nice too, and...I feel nice, pretty, I guess, prettier…" It was harder to imagine himself as the monster or freako and other negative things with this female body.

Ford hummed. "Bill doesn't mind being male or female either, maybe it's an alien thing?" he wanted to write this down. Sab shrugged.

"I don't know, I am not an alien." He reminded him with a smile. "But I don't really care if I am honest. Just try to enjoy the positive things about this, make Stan learn not to be so sexist, maybe you can learn a little more about women this way~ Now move it. Because we've taken too long already."

Ford laughed lightly. "Alright." He quickly got dressed and they met up with everyone else outside. "Where's Xin?"

"I think he's still in the shower, he went after all of us after all." Sab said. She went to the twins and Miz's room and saw Xin stepping out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his chest. "Hey, we're all ready and waiting on you." Sab and Fania grinned. Xin blinked and laughed. "Well then it's a good thing I can just do this…" He flicked his fingers and was dried instantly, he squeaked when his hair fluffed up.

Sab snorted. Xin blushed as he brushed his hair out of his face. "Not funny." He mumbled. Sab laughed outright. "Yes it was!"

Xin took off his towel to reveal a simple t-shirt and shorts. "Whatever, let's go shopping!" they left the room with Sab muffling laughter and Xin pulling his hair into a ponytail. He also made sure his tail was hidden away.

"Alright, let's hit the stores!" Kari, Markus and Sab cheered. Most of the family rolled their eyes. "What's the point of spendin' money to buy clothes just for the week?" Stan grumbled. He wasn't wearing a bra and had stolen one of Ford's turtlenecks when Carla told him his nipples were showing through his shirt. He was glad Ford was weird enough to bring a turtleneck to New Jersey...in summer.

It was...unfair. If his nipples were showing as a man, no one said anything, but when he was a woman, he was suddenly wrong . What a shitty shit.

Kari sighed. "Just indulge your mother, dear." Stan grumbled and nodded. "I ain't paying for this." He pointed out. Carla kissed his forehead. "I will pay all you want, dear."

Xin held up a hand "I can turn some sand into pearls? It'll be easier than making them from scratch."

"Oh~ Money!" Stan's face lit up and everyone rolled their eyes. Xin went to the shore and, making sure no one was watching, he made some pearls for everyone. Stan was kind of right, they shouldn't spend on clothes they would wear for only a week, this was his way of apologizing. Everyone did stare at him oddly when he shoved a handful of sand into his mouth.

"Doesn't that...taste awful?" Dipper grimaced. Xin nodded. He spat out the pearls and gagged. "Ugh. This is so much worse when I actually have taste buds…" he coughed. "I demand ice cream to make up for this awful experience."

"Soda. No ice cream." Zoe reminded him usefully. Xin groaned. "But I can't drink sodaaaaaa!" Sab snorted. "Then suffer."

Stan was scooping up the pearls, marveling at them. "Huh...they're pink." He grinned. "That's gonna make them worth MORE!" He squealed. Ok. Now he wouldn't mind buying some stuff. The money wasn't his! He reluctantly gave everyone, except the kids, a bunch of pearls.

"I think we should spend this care-who am I kidding! Let's go waste all this money!" He shouted and the Pines chanted. "Money! Money!"

Ford sighed. Why was his family like this? He followed along and tried not to feel embarrassed (failing horribly) at the people staring at his group chanting "Money! Money!" He felt a hand curl around his and saw Xin grinning down at him. "Just laugh at those dorks, Fordsie."

"Do you wanna go off and buy me an ice cream?" The dragon begged.

Ford looked at the pleading slanted eyes and smiled. "You're still being punished, so no." He quickly added, when he saw Xin's smile drop, "But other snacks are ok. As long as they're not desserts." Xin perked back up, wiggling his hips back and forth. "Okay!" The dragon laughed and ran off in the direction of the stores, pulling Ford along behind him.

Ford noticed them attracting some glances and ducked his head. Xin seemed more interested in getting a snack. They got to the food stalls along the boardwalk and Xin scanned through the options. Huh. Same kinda shops as back in Brother's dimensional set. "Ooh~Can I get a box of cheese curds?" He asked the cashier. She nodded and glanced at Ford. Ford shook his head "I'm fine." The cashier nodded and placed in the order. "That'll be $2.89 please."

She looked at Xin but Xin turned to Ford, since he didn't actually have any cash. "Fania?" Ford laughed and took out his wallet. Some of the other patrons in the food stall frowned. After Ford paid and Xin cheerfully skipped in place with his snack, a woman and her boyfriend came up to them. "You're making your girlfriend pay for you?" She huffed.

Xin and Ford blinked in confusion. "I don't have my wallet." Xin shrugged. Well, he didn't have any human money...hm...he should ask mom and Seb about getting an allowance. He babysat the twins lots of times!

Ford blushed. He wasn't Xin's girlfriend. He-he wasn't even his boyfriend! Xin wouldn't want to be with him anyway. He proved with Cathy that he totally sucked at relationships. "I-I don't see what's wrong if I pay for him, even if he had his wallet…I do it all the time." He mumbled to the couple. The woman gasped. She glared at Xin. "Aren't you a man? You should take care of your girl."

"Excuse me?" Xin blinked. "I mean...I do feel kinda bad about making Fania pay for me all the time, but I don't have money…"

"And he doesn't need to take care of me! I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself even as a woman!" Fania spat at the couple. She turned to look at Xin. "You shut up, If I cared, I would have told you!"

Xin smiled softly. "Oh. Thanks Fania." He nuzzled Ford's head. The scientist gave him a hug. "Come on, Xin. We should go catch up to the others." They left the stall, hand in hand.

The rude couple shook their heads. Feminazis ruining traditional relationships….

Xin caught that thought and frowned. "I bet they don't even know the definition of feminism…" he muttered. He licked at his cheese curds, his tongue was longer than a normal human one so he easily reached into the little box, disregarding the fork entirely, as he curled around the snack and pulled it back up into his mouth. Jan's body had a longer tongue, but he didn't need a tongue that long for eating snacks! He did feel bad that Ford was always paying for him though. "Are you sure you don't mind paying for me all the time? I can ask mom and Seb about getting me my own bank account?"

"You don't have a job. I do. And I make enough money to buy you some silly snacks." Ford rolled his eyes. "Don't listen to people who can't mind their own business, don't worry about it. Besides, you're always helping me with my experiments and teaching me stuff." he squeezed Xin's hand. "And you're taking care of my brother and his family. That's more than enough payment."

"...O-Ok." Xin nodded, twining his fingers between Ford's "Thanks." He licked a cheese curd while he felt his face heating up for some reason, he even forgot about the gross taste of sand...Fania didn't let go of his hand, and he found he didn't mind. The two made it back to the others, Xin being able to See where they were, and walked into the clothing store to find Kari already pulling out dresses to put her children into.

"Ah, there you are, Fania! Just in time! Here. Try this one on." Kari squealed as she held up a pink and white monstrosity. Ford screamed and turned pleading eyes onto Xin. "Help?" Xin laughed. "Sorry, even I can't go against granny Kari."

"Noo!" Ford was dragged off and Xin finished his snack with a grin. He yelped when Markus pulled on his arm. "Come on, Danna and I want to see you in some sexier clothes too!" He purred. Xin blinked. "Can I toss out my trash first?" Markus crossed his arms like the impatient boy he was. "Fine. Make it quick."

Xin tossed the empty box into the trashcan and Markus pulled him over to the other side of the store where the men's clothing were.

Danna was ready and waiting with a whole stack of clothes. Xin noted that there seemed to be a lot of leather. The cousins grinned at him as they pushed him into the changing room. Xin didn't mind, back in his first life, her friends had made her try on all sorts of cute clothes too. She was small and they loved putting her in all the clothes they liked but couldn't wear because it didn't come in their size. So being used as a dress up doll felt rather nostalgic.

Xin hung up the clothes and pulled down the first one. Oh~this was actually pretty nice~ he hummed cheerfully and wondered if the Pines were having as much fun as he was.

-.-

"Ma...please stop...I'm gonna die…" Stan whined as Kari and Carla fussed over his hair. "Should we tie it up?" "No, leave it down, it frames her face so nicely." Stan pulled at his skirt, trying to make it cover more of his legs.

Walter and Abraham were sitting outside the changing room, laughing their heads off. They wanted to find some clothes for themselves, but they wanted to see the triplets and Shermie first. Their pained expressions, sans Seb, were something they couldn't miss.

As Kari and Carla took care of Stan, Seb was fixing up his older sibling. "Fordsie, I swear this blouse looks good on you! You don't even need to wear heels with this! And these shorts look perfect on you!"

"Help me! My integrity is being violated!" Fania wailed. Seb opened the door and the two came out. She was wearing a really cute strapless yellow and white summer dress, high heeled sandals and her hair down, while Fania's first outfit was a baby blue short sleeved blouse, white shorts and for now barefeet.

"Hey guys! How do we look?!" The men gaped.

"Beautiful as fuck." Walter gasped. Fuck, he couldn't stop staring at Sabrina's chest! And her slender legs, and the way her hips pushed the dress just perfectly- Gah! He felt like a pervert! Stupid new male hormones!

They didn't realize this, but the sudden sex change made their hormone levels drastically different than they were used to, making them all going through something similar to teenage horniness from their bodies 'changing'. It was why Carlos and Stania as well as Abraham and Shelly had gotten down and dirty with their spouse so easily. It was especially noticeable in the youngest couple, who after having kids so young, barely did it anymore, focusing on companionate love. But they were rediscovering how fun it was.

Back with Xin, he had paraded a few outfits in front of Markus and Danna, posing elegantly. Dipper was sitting there, blushing profusely. Stupid sexy dragon making everyone question their sexuality. "Aren't you embarrassed to show so much skin?" He asked when Xin posed with some pants that had open sides with laces holding it together.

"Not really? My clothes tend to be skimpier when I'm performing on stage as Jan." Xin shrugged. A few people passing by heard the comment and immediately blushed as they misunderstood. Xin brought his hands together and arched back in a stretch, thrusting his chest out. "At least these clothes aren't see through." he added.

The random strangers who had been watching this little fashion show all choked before running away when Markus glared at them. Danna was snapping photos this whole time. "Oh. Lean against the side of the door frame and turn your head to the side." She said as she positioned herself to take the shot.

Shit, they had so many good shots. Xin was really photogenic. Danna wondered if the dragon would allow her to submit these to a magazine. He could be a model if he worked out a little more. Xin pouted and lidded his eyes as he leaned against the door frame, one hand holding up his hair. Markus was squealing loudly.

Dipper sighed. "How long is this gonna take?"

"Why? Do you want it to be your turn to try on clothes?" Markus asked.

Dipper's eyes widened and he shook his head. "Nope. I'm fine. You three have fun!"

"We still need to get clothes for ourselves, Dipper." Danna shook her head. Markus handed Dipper the pile of clothes that he and Danna had deemed 'Must buy' and sighed. "Ok, Xin, try on one last outfit and then help us with finding ours ok?" Xin nodded and closed the door held up the next pair of pants. "Um...these look pretty tight." he called out. The other pants were a tight fit but their opened sides and strings allowed them to stretch. This pair was straight fabric. Markus called through the door "Tight pants are sexy."

"No they aren't…" Dipper mumbled, remembering Pacifica wanted him to try one on but he refused because it looked just so...no. Besides, tight pants was Robbie's thing!

Xin sighed but began pulling on the pants. He grunted as he got them up and then paused. "Um…" he blushed. "What's wrong?" Markus asked through the door.

"They don't fit over my butt." Xin called back.

There was a short silence before Danna, very softly asked. "Can we see?" Dipper groaned and covered his face. He was just going to buy the same white shirt 7 times and some jeans and be done with it.

Xin fumbled for the door lock and it clicked. Danna and Markus went in and blushed. Xin had managed to pull it up almost all the way but the fabric was straining on the curve of his butt. Xin was blushing heavily. "This one doesn't have strings on the side for me to loosen!" He wailed. "W-well then take it off." Markus stuttered, staring at his butt. Xin pulled at the pants. "I'm stuck." He whimpered.

Dipper groaned loudly. "Can you move faster?!" He called from outside. Markus and Danna glared. "We're busy, Mary! Be patient!" Markus was examining how to get the pants off the man and Danna was trying to pull them down, blushing madly.

The boy-turned girl sighed. He stood up and walked over to the dreaded zone- the girl's zone… he sighed. He better get some decent clothes already or he'll never get to leave this place. Maybe he should just copy Paz's style. That would be easier...

"Wait! Dont pull so hard!" Xin yelped. "I don't want to break them!" He felt them strain. Danna growled. "Then just fix them afterward!" He pulled and Xin squealed when the fabric snapped, his butt bouncing as it was freed. Markus was drooling and awkwardly put his hands on his lower zone when he felt it twitch. He didn't take his eyes off Xin though.

"Ok...we broke the pants…you can fix it right?" Danna asked. Xin was panting softly "Oh god! I can breath again!" He slumped against the wall. "Stupid tight pants…" he grumbled. Danna blinked at the other man. "Are you...wearing panties?" she asked incredulously. Xin shrugged. "They're soft and comfortable."

Danna snorted. "They have Salutations Cat on them!" She laughed. Xin grumbled and waved for them to get out so he could take the pants fully off and fix them. "They're cute!" he defended his choice in underwear. So what if he had Hello Kitty underwear?! (Also, he couldn't believe it was called Salutations Cat here…)

Markus looked up to the roof and took a few deep breaths. Ok, ok! Don't panic! This was just a boner, teenage boys had them all the time, no? if she calmed down, it would go away, right?

Xin and Danna were too distracted to notice Markus's state. Xin was blushing as he covered his butt with a hand, not really succeeding. "Look, my choice in underwear isn't important."

"And I'm saying that you need proper support. Get briefs if you like the hugging feeling. Panties just don't give enough support for your balls." Danna argued. "I can see your panties straining from here. And you're flaccid right now. If you get hard you're going to stretch them out and ruin them." Danna frowned. "Are these the same underwear from your Miz form? No wonder they don't provide support!"

"Well I don't really look at men's underwear so I only know how to make boxers. And I don't like boxers!" Xin pouted. Danna sighed. "Wait here, I'm gonna bring you some briefs so you can scan them…" she got up and left, closing the door behind her.

Xin pulled the pants off before he remembered Markus was still in here. "Oh, um...can you turn around or-?"

"Yup! Yup! I'll turn around!" The boy curled up on the floor and faced the wall. "Think of puppies...think of puppies." He whispered. Danna quickly came back and gave Xin the different underwear for him to choose from. "Markus, move your ass from here. Let Xin change."

Xin looked over the briefs and nodded. Ok. He could work with these. His underwear shifted and he hummed as he wiggled his butt. Ok, that did feel a little more comfortable. Markus blushed "IT'S FINE! I'm not looking!" he wasn't. He was staring at the wall and trying very hard to think about not sexy things. Baby dogs. Baby cats. Baby seals. Round. Bouncy.

"Shit!" Markus curled into a ball. How did guys deal with this? Just...random boners? Did all men get random boners? She heard that they did. As much as Mabel liked cute guys, she's never really thought about their dicks. Heck, she tried her best to avoid touching her own when she showered. But it wasn't a problem then. It is a problem now! Her pants were straining and she wanted to touch it but she held back. If she left it alone it would go away.

Markus heard the rustling of fabric as Xin pulled his walk in clothes back on. "Ok. I'm set. Markus? Do you want to use my changing room to try on your stuff?" Markus nodded. "Yes. That's fine." He blushed. Xin left the changing room and Markus sighed in relief. He sat back and glared at his boner. Well, at least he was still only interested in boys.

He remembered his parents being a little confused at how they were still interested in their spouse despite being the opposite sex. Markus thought it was a true love sort of thing. He sighed and leaned against the wall. Nothing to do but wait for this to go away. He heard some footsteps. "Markus? I picked out some clothes I think you might like?"

"Thanks Danna." He called back. "I'm going to hand them over the door ok?" Danna said. Markus nodded. "Thanks." the clothes were thrown over and Danna left.

Outside the changing room, Danna and Xin were sorting through the clothes. Xin was fixing the pants subtly, glad that changing rooms didn't have cameras. "I liked those pants. And these. These were a little too tight as well. These are ok. I like the pockets on these…" Danna nodded. "So we'll get you this shirt and these...and this one too...hey, you think you can pay for these and wear them out?"

"I don't see why not. Let's go ask dad." Xin and Danna walked off, Xin dumped the rejected clothes into the bin at the entrance to the changing rooms. There was a lot of laughter coming from the adult section of the store.

"Oh. I like that dress." Abraham laughed as his wife came out with a poofy green sundress. It was backless with ribbons running across it. Sab was already fixing her youngest sister's hair to go with it.

Ford was sighing as yet another pink dress was handed to him "Why pink? Can I at LEAST have blue...or red?" Was his only real complaint. It wasn't fair!

"Because pink looks amazing on you, sweetie!" Kari smiled. She would dress the 4 of them in pink like she always wanted if Seb and Shermie hadn't chosen the colors they liked already. As the Stans were still complaining, she got to choose their clothes.

"I will never leave the hotel if I have to wear this!" Stan motioned at the clothes he was wearing. "Are you insane?! Besides, YOU are the one being sexist! Not all women wear dresses!" He argued.

"Yes…" Carla nodded and pulled down the cleavage to its right place. "But this is the kind of thing I always wear...so you are doing it too." Stan grumbled. "Then I get to choose what clothes you wear! Deal?" Carla scoffed. "Sure." She agreed. It's not like men had anything weird, their clothes were just shirts and pants. Easy.

"Dad! I picked out what I want." Xin came up to show Walter his pile of clothes. "And this store has a discount if you have the passcode." He leaned in to whisper "It's Holy Mackerel." he was a little surprised to find this out.

Back then, a long time ago, there was a secret society called the Royal order of the Holy Mackerel, not just the Pines ancestors but a few other families had been part of it. A lot of them owned stores around the area. Xin thought this was pretty neat.

Walter nodded. It was good to know there was a way to save money, even if Stan had sold the pearls earlier. He had realized that the owner of the pawnshop didn't take him seriously as a woman and he had to barter twice as hard to get the pearls sold. It was a humbling experience for Stan. Though he responded to it with frustration at the pawnshop owner being an asshole. So women weren't exaggerating when they said people didn't respect them. He thought they did, but it wasn't true. Huh.

"Ok, son, you can just go buy it. Do you have enough money?" Walter asked. Xin looked over at Dillon who nodded. He had used a different strategy with another pawnshop owner, that being leaning against the counter and pulling at his shirt to distract the man enough to drive the price up. It worried him a little how he seemed to drool over her, who was literally just barely legally an adult. Danna knew some guys were into younger women but...geez.

The two ran off to purchase the clothes, debating which ones Xin should wear for today and getting the really nice discount. After Xin got his clothes bagged, they went back to the changing room. "Hey? Markus? Are you done in there? Xin needs to change."

Markus, who had thankfully managed to calm himself, looked up from the shirt he was buttoning up. "Almost. I kinda only got to try on two outfits." Stupid boner that took too long to go away. Xin nodded. "It's ok, I'll wait. Do you want us to hand you something?"

Markus smiled gratefully and poked his head out. "Thank you! Can you get me a few more t-shirts please? A jacket and white sneakers? I'm 42." Well, that was Dipper's size in shoes, but she was his height now!

Danna offered to get him cool boy clothes and soon enough, Markus had enough clothes for the week and then give to Dipper when they were back to normal. Speaking of Dipper…

"Where IS Dipper?" He looked around. Xin told them he was going to change. So Danna and Markus had to go find the girl. "Mary?" Danna called out. There was no response and Markus sighed. "Dipper?"

"Oh, hey guys." Dipper walked over to them with a smile and Danna frowned. The little bitch…

"Dipper, where were you?!" Markus pouted and hugged his brother/sister. Dipper showed her the bags she had. "I went to get clothes? For the week?"

"I trust you chose decent clothes." Both Markus and Danna crossed their arms. Dipper rolled her eyes. "Yes. I asked Pacifica for help. Before you say anything, I texted her, saying it was for a cousin, he helped me choose, that's it."

""Aww…"" they pouted. "I wanna see how Pacifica reacts to seeing you…" Markus sighed. Dipper rolled his eyes. "Not happening." They heard footsteps as Xin walked over, tugging at his pants. "Seriously, all these pants are a bit tight, even the adjustable ones…" He muttered. "I see you found Dipper. So...does that mean only Danna needs clothes?"

Danna looked around and nodded. "I guess so. Markus, can you help?" The boy squealed and grabbed her hand before dragging her to the teenage girls' zone. "You will look so pretty! I promise!" he squealed.

Dipper sighed and glanced over at Xin. "Aren't you embarrassed to wear that?" He asked. Xin looked down at his outfit, a black tank top with a bunch of straps along his shoulders. His pants were also black (Markus and Danna both agreed it was a sexy color on him) and had ribbons along the sides to adjust the tightness. Xin had to loosen them a lot, to the point where the sides of his legs were showing between the ribbons. Xin shrugged. "I don't see a problem?"

Dipper looked at him and blushed a little bit more. "Well, it's more important if you like it, so, don't mind me, I'm just weird." Xin laughed and ruffled her hair. "Alright, Pinetree...want to check on your parents?"

"Oh, that sounds more fun…" The girl grinned and the two ran back to the changing rooms Kari and Sebastian declared theirs. The adults looked up with a smile which quickly became shocked. Sab and Walter gasped. "Xin! What are you wearing?!"

"Really? Why does everyone have a problem with it?!" Xin threw his hands in the air, his shirt lifting with the movement to expose part of his stomach. The adults all stared at him, slack jawed. Stan bluntly said "You look like a slut."

Carla lightly smacked his arm. "Don't say it like that!" Walter glared. "Don't call my son a slut!" Stan scoffed. "Ow! You were all thinking it. This is gender violence!" "Shut up, Stan."

Xin looked down at himself. "This is considered slutty?" He looked confused and a little upset. "But my crotch and nipples are covered." Walter walked over and hugged him. "Don't listen to Stan...he says mean things because he feels humiliated right now and he thinks HE looks like a slut, because he thinks of women that way. Don't mind him."

"No, I don't!"

Carlos nodded and patted his shoulder. "Stania is just being mean." Xin pouted. "But you were all giving me that look too…" Walter and Sab winced. "Well...you...are showing a lot of skin…"

Xin pouted harder. "But I think it looks nice...and Markus and Danna picked them out for me." The adults groaned. They really should have had someone watching the kids while they were trying on clothes. Of course Danna and Markus would pick out something like this for poor, innocent Xin who didn't know better.

Speaking of kids, Zoe and Zach ran up to poke Xin's legs. "We can see your butt!" Zoe giggled. Xin squeaked. "Qu-quit that! It tickles!" he covered his butt as his siblings laughed

All the adults sighed, Walter and Sabrina shared a look. Ok. This was on them for not being responsible and checking what he was looking at. Dipper sat down and looked at the huge pile of clothes. "So, you guys picked something already?" Sab nodded excitedly as Stan huffed and Ford sighed.

"They chose for me, which is the same." Ford sighed. They were back in the clothes they came with and despite how feminine the clothes were because they were dresses, most of them were allowed to get a few flannels, and simple pants. Thank the universe for Carla intervening for him and saying he was behaving well and deserved to choose some of his own clothes as well.

She was so nice.

Stan was still pouting hard. They got bras, again, and he said he wouldn't wear one, again. They were so annoying! There was no way in hell he would willingly leave the changing room- "If you don't wear it, we won't... continue back at the hotel…" Carlos warned so Stan grabbed the damn thing and got back inside.

He didn't want to admit it but, having a session (to borrow Sixer's codename for his time together with Xin) as a woman was...amazing. He had been a little hesitant at first, the idea of being penetrated was scary but the second she and Carlos had started going at it… Stan flushed. So, apparently women could have multiple orgasms at once, that was pretty amazing.

The other adults were sorting through which clothes to buy as Sab and Walter tried to find some way to explain to Xin why his clothes were...somewhat inappropriate. Xin just didn't understand. "But nothing explicit is showing. And they look cool."

"Your butt is showing." Sab deadpanned. "No it's not. These are just the sides of my legs." Xin protested. "And the contrast with the criss crossing ribbons looks cool!" Sab and Walter groaned softly. What could they do? They didn't want Xin to feel bad! But he wasn't going to like it when assholes started looking at him...what to do, what to do...

"Walter, we're going to go look for clothes, coming?" Abraham asked the blond who bit his lip. They needed to finish shopping… "Ok, you can wear it." He nodded. "But if you start feeling uncomfortable, just change into something else ok?" After all, it wasn't him or Seb paying, so it was fine. If Xin had a problem, he would change, if he didn't...then Walter had to let her son do what he wanted…

Xin hugged him. "Thanks, dad. Now go, go dress up like a handsome man and make your wife proud!" The blond laughed and followed his friends. Meanwhile, Stan came out, grumbling but already changing. This was stupid, bras were stupid, he felt stupid.

Ford came out as well and paused with wide eyes as he saw Xin walking away. His eyes were caught on the way the dragon swayed his hips. The low cut top, the way his tawny skin showed through between the black ribbons… Ford shook his head. That was… he blushed, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. He knew, intellectually, that Xin was attractive. But… what was that phrase again? The clothes made the man? Ford didn't understand why the black, ribbony clothes appeared more attractive than Xin in swim trunks. It was technically showing much less skin than the swimsuit, since Xin wasn't shirtless now, and yet, it was more enticing…

Ford covered his blushing face. What was wrong with him?

He was still staring at Xin as the dragon lounged against the wall, hands in his pockets, a serene expression on his lovely face.

While Ford was having his mental crisis, Kari smiled at them all. "Alright! Now that you have clothes, we can go fulfill my second dream! Hair dresser!"

"No" Stan and Shermie said as Seb exclaimed a loud "Yes!" He'll finally be able to enjoy a day at the hairdressers without people giving him weird looks! "Can I get my nails done too?" Sab asked. Kari laughed. "Of course, dear."

"Well, since Dipper and I are done, can we head out and explore the town?" Xin asked. Sab furrowed her brows in worry but glanced at Dipper. "Ok. But you two be careful. Don't accept food from strangers."

Dipper scoffed. "Of course. I'm not stupid." Sab rolled her eyes. "I was talking to Xin." Dipper blinked and looked over at Xin who was pouting. "But...free food…" Dipper groaned. Oh great. He was going to have to babysit his cousin...who was secretly a several billion year old demon...who had the personality of a child...

"Don't worry, I'll watch him." Dipper nodded and Sab smiled at him. "Thanks, Pinetree. Now, where was I? Oh, right. Stania! Fania COME HERE, YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY FROM ME!" She found Fania petrified with her face red, but Stania had run away. Xin laughed. "I know they'll eventually have fun, getting your hair and nails done is relaxing! Come on, Dipper!" He pulled her outside.

The women at the hairdressers were confused when a woman came in, pushing three more inside, who were crying and trying to escape. "Don't mind them. We need a haircut, and manicures!" Sab grinned maniacally and the Stans and Shermie feared for their lives. "Also...wax, eyebrows, legs." she said with a tone of voice that was both excited and malicious. He was used to doing it...but not them. Mwahaha.

"""NOOOOO!""" the three women wailed.

"So, where are we going?" Dipper asked as Xin pulled him/her down the street. The dragon was attracting some stares and Dipper pulled his hat down lower in second hand embarrassment. Xin didn't seem to have noticed (his Seal blocking it all). "Well, there's a carnival in town and I kinda wanted to see it." Xin squealed. Dipper sighed. How was this Bill Cipher? Alternative dimensions must be weird. Then again, uncle Seb was a Bill from an alternative dimension and he acted like a huge man-child half the time… and the evil Bill had thrown a tantrum when they started beating him too… and Blue was… well… maybe all Bill Ciphers were just like that .

Oh god, were all Bill Cipher's secretly just kids?!

He wondered if their Bill would be different if he was reincarnated or whatever.

"Ok, carnival…With lots of people with eyes...to see us." Dipper mumbled and Xin laughed. "Yes, humans have eyes, Pinetree, not that weird." Dipper looked at his companion's legs and blushed. Oh man…

They made their way to the carnival and Dipper noticed a group of men smoking in an alleyway who were eyeing them up. Dipper gripped Xin's hand tighter. "Hey, can you...like...put up a force field around us?"

"Why? Wouldn't that be suspicious if people in the crowd bump into invisible walls?" Xin blinked at the girl. Dipper sighed. "Well, can you put up some kind of...protection thing? Or some barrier that keeps away people with malicious intent? Are you worried?" Xin looked around. He was worried about being alone, but he was in Xin's body now, much bigger than Miz. And Dipper was with him. "You've got that friendship bracelet from Blue protecting you."

"That's just for lethal harm stuff. I just think we need an extra space barrier. Just...a little. It's just us here, alone. And I'm supposed to be looking after you." Dipper admitted. "But I'm not dumb like Uncle Stan and I know women are at a higher risk being alone, that's why Mabel always writes to me when she gets out and stuff…" He rubbed his arm. "I'm just a little paranoid like always, but, please do it?"

"Alright." Xin flicked off his Seal and winced. Oh. Ooh. He twitched and glanced over at the group of men. One. He turned and saw a woman pushing a baby stroller and staring at him. Two. He turned again to see a few people who were frowning at him. Three. Xin frowned. There sure was a lot of hostility here. He shook his head, slowing down his steps so he could walk side by side with Dipper. What was this flavor? It was more than just hostility. There was a distinct flavor of lust mixed in with the disgust. He shook his head again.

"Well...these are some pleasant emotions." he muttered sarcastically. "Ok, one malice barrier coming right up." He flicked his fingers and enclosed them both. "Seriously, what is their problem?"

"They're probably jealous of you." Dipper laughed. Xin nodded. "That must be it! I'm just too hot for them!" He grabbed the girl's hand. "Come on, I want cotton candy!" he put his Seal back on so he wouldn't get overwhelmed by these emotions. He didn't want them bringing him down when he was trying to have fun. "Wait, I thought you weren't allowed to have sweets." Dipper deadpanned.

Xin shushed him. "'Dad' doesn't have to know!" He glanced around and then whispered, "Also, I've realized the one grounded is Miz. Not Xin." Dipper continued to deadpan. "That still counts. Besides, I'm not gonna help you cheat on your punishment." Xin whimpered. No fair….

Back at the clothing store, Carlos came out of the changing room, showing off how good it looked on him. Walter and Abraham all cheered. They were taking care of the kids, because their husbands' were suffering somewhere, and said kids were on the floor, bored. Why did adults always spend so much time on clothes?!

"It looks amazing! That color suits you so well!" Abraham exclaimed. The other men sorting out the clothes looked at them funny.

"Yeah, it looks fine, but you know what's pissing me off?" Carlos got closer to the other men. "Body. Hair. Like, how do men stand having all their bodies looking like apes?!" He stared at his arm with anger shining in his brown eyes. Abraham groaned and nodded. "This guy here doesn't understand the struggle!"

"Hey! Of course I do!" Walter pouted. "But you're a blondie, and your hair is straight, it doesn't even look that bad!" Carlos shook his head and Walter pouted harder. The workers around giggled a bit at the group of friends.

They had some clothes for the week already, plus underwear and socks. As they were quite tall, they really hoped this would fit their husbands later. They were too pretty to go to waste. "Dad~ Where is mommy and my aunts?" Zoe groaned. She was hungry again!

Walter looked at the other men who shrugged. "Right...Where are they?"

It turned out they merely had to follow the sounds of horrified screaming. The three (current) men stood in the hair salon and held back laughter at the Pines daughters (except Sab) whimpering like scared animals and sobbing as they were waxed. "Why would women subject themselves to this TORTURE?!" Stan shrieked as another strip of paper was torn off his leg, plucking a whole line of hair. He had lost SO MUCH body hair turning into a woman, and now he was losing what little was left.

"Because it's expected. And because men would complain if we didn't." Carlos grinned triumphantly. Ha! See how he feels. Carlos was really enjoying this whole, sex-swap thing.

Shermie sobbed loudly as the poor confused worker forced him to raise his other arm to get to his armpit. "Please, no...mercy! Merc-AH AH!"

"This sucks!" Stan wailed. And, yeah, he did like it when Carla shaved, and despite not complaining, he never said it was the best looking thing in the world. But… but… he didn't think women had to go through something this painful to be hairless! And Seb wasn't even flinching. Hell, none of the other women here, being waxed, were flinching! Holy shit!

"Really? You guys are such babies." Seb rolled his eye, only hitching his breath a bit when his strips were ripped off, but otherwise unaffected. "You already have less hair right now. Imagine how I have to go through this when I'm in my proper body."

Walter walked over to her and kissed her forehead. She was used to going with him to the hairdresser. "You are so brave…" he whispered and grabbed her face gently to turn it around and kiss her lips, effectively distracting her as the worker finished her waxing.

Kari rolled her eyes as Ford went limp. God, they were seriously so dramatic! She wondered where they got that from, definitely not from her! "When this is done, you can get your hair and nails done."

"Will we die as well?" Stanley asked faintly. Carlos rolled his eyes "Pfft no?" Abraham, who couldn't stand his hairy arms anymore, went to order a waxing for himself as well. Carlos nodded. "Me too please."

"What?! But a man NEEDS his body hair! You can't wax it off!" Stan gasped. Carlos rolled his eyes. "Well I think it's annoying." He brushed a hand over his hairy arms and shuddered. "I feel like a bear." And that was just what was exposed .

"Besides, Sebastian does it." Wanda added. Stan deadpanned at him. "Sebastian is weird, he doesn't count!" He complained and let out a shriek when his poor leg finished being tortured and the last strip was torn off.

"Hey!" Seb pouted and clung to his husband. Wanda kissed his lips. "Don't worry, baby, I love you with or without hair."

Stan looked at Carlos. "Please don't wax it? Just...trim it. That's the least damaging thing you can do to yourself." He deadpanned. Carlos wanted to do it just to annoy him, but his pout made him coo. Besides, it was probably going to hurt like hell so both him and Abraham thought better about it.

"You know, while they do this, it's our time to sit there and complain ok?" Abraham pointed at the waiting room and the three waved at the trembling women before sitting down next to other men waiting. They burst out laughing. It took longer to get them to stop moving for their eyebrows, but after lots of screams and tears, their eyebrows looked cuter now! "You three should feel grateful. You have thick healthy eyebrows, there are poor women out there who don't have eyebrows at all!" Sab pouted at them as they rubbed their red faces. "You know there are some women who tattoo their eyebrows on?" He thought it looked ridiculous, personally.

"Now come on! We are getting our hair and nails done now!" She squealed. The Stans and Shermie groaned and decided to bitch about it, but couldn't complain too long as their long hair was washed and massaged. The four of them moaned. God, this was amazing...

The staff and other patrons at the salon were very confused but the perception filter prevented them from really figuring anything out. They were simply left with a sense of 'Something's weird but we don't know what.' Walter sighed. "Do you think we're being too hard on them?" He asked his friends. Abraham shrugged "Maybe just a little?" Carlos laughed. "No way! This is fun! Besides, Sabrina's been really happy today…" they all paused to consider that.

Abraham asked quietly "Hey, what would you even do if he wanted to stay this way? I doubt you'd want to."

Walter looked at the bags he was holding. "He told me he didn't mind which body he had…" He said quietly. He looked at his temporary wife telling Ford to relax for the manicure because no one gave a single fuck about their hands. "He likes having fun...if this was the other way round...I think he would also enjoy being a man…" Walter, wow, he had gotten used to this body already, hummed. He still loved Sebastian/Sabrina though...he loved him as a person, but he didn't like women.

Walter had seen plenty of other attractive women today but he didn't care for them other than noting that they were cute. He wasn't attracted to them. And yet, when he looked at Sabrina, her sweet expressions and slender legs caught his attention and he found himself staring at her. But...would he still feel the same once he was Wanda again and Sabrina didn't change back?

He bit his lip and chewed on his fist. He hoped he was getting worried over nothing. Seb was just having fun, like she was doing and all of them were doing. It was just a HIM thing, he liked crazy, weird things, and he definitely liked to stress her out with his perception of fun, like during their honeymoon.

Speaking of fun. "You two didn't go to the beach today…" He lowered his voice as he asked the other two. "Did you have sex like this?"

Carlos puffed out his chest proudly. "Fuck yeah I did. Stania acts all high and mighty but I had her screaming my name and begging for more."

Abraham blushed "We were curious and tried it out for fun. Oh man, Shelly's leg muscles are really something…"

Walter gasped with his cheeks bright red. Wow. "That's...awesome."

"Wait, wait. YOU two haven't tried yet?!" Carlos gasped. Walter shook his head. "We were at the beach all day, you know, watching over YOUR kids!" He smiled. "I guess we can try it out tonight." He laughed excitedly. The other two men nodded. "Do. It. Don't let the week pass. You go tonight, to your bed, and make Sabrina scream!" Walter blushed but nodded anyway.

"They're lucky they can't get pregnant." Carlos said and immediately sat up straight. He looked at Walter. "They CAN'T get pregnant...right?" Carlos started panicking.

Walter's eyes widened. "I...don't know?" Oh fuck. "B-but the curse only lasts for a week! S-so…"

"But stuff can happen in a week! What if we fucked it up!? What if we somehow altered it?! Oh fuck! Oh fuck!" Carlos felt like he was going to faint. "You didn't use a condom?" Walter frowned. "Do you think that was my priority at that moment?!" the dark haired man screamed. Abraham and Carlos started shaking the blond man. "CALL XIN!"

Abraham sat up "Wait! He's with Dipper right?!" He pulled out his own phone and started calling. The three men sat around, tense and worried as the phone rang. They thought Dipper wouldn't pick up but finally it clicked.

"Mom? This is a really bad time…"

"Dipper! I need to talk to Xin!" Abraham shouted.

"Ah...can this...wait?"

"No, this is really important." The three men huddled closer to try and hear. There was a strange noise, like...sirens? Also, Dipper was panting as if he was running.

"Ok...hang on...Xin...yeah? Yeah...mom wants...talk...ok…" there was a shuffling sound as the phone was passed over. "Hey uncle Ab! What's up?"

"Xin, can the girls get pregnant?" Abraham asked. There were more shuffling sounds and a grunt, the distinct clicking sound of a chain link fence and Dipper yelping in the background. "Naw. They won't start their cycle until after they spend an entire month as a woman first. It takes time for the body to build up all the nutrients and stuff to make the eggs, you see? Just like you CAN'T get them pregnant without viable sperm. Which, you don't have yet, you've got stuff to discharge, but it ain't potent. And even if you did, like I said, their uterus isn't ready for that sort of thing." Xin responded. The men sighed loudly in relief and faintly heard Dipper in the background "Are they still after us?" and a voice they didn't recognize shouting "Get back here you fuckers!" more shuffling and Xin said "Well, if that's all, I need to hang up now. Kinda need two hands to climb this wall…"

In the background they heard "You can't get away! Fuck! Stand still you fuckin' fag!"

"Ok, bye uncle Ab~!" Xin said cheerfully before hanging up.

The three melted on the couch in relief. Thank God, Carlos was crying. They looked at the sisters and Kari. They were getting their haircut, eyes closed and getting a manicure, completely unaware their partners almost died from a heart attack. Sab just wanted them to cut her hair a tiny bit because she liked it's waist-length, Shermie asked to get it bra strap-length, he couldn't have it all long like Sab wanted. Ford and Stan wanted it gone but Kari told the workers to cut their hair armpit length.

Once the relief from knowing they couldn't get their husbands pregnant faded, Abraham frowned. "Did...did it sound like something bad was happening with the boys?" The other two paused. "I'm sure it's….nothing…." Carlos chuckled weakly before his smile dropped. "Oh fuck." the three sighed.

-.-

Ok, so, if Dipper was honest with herself, this wasn't really their fault. It was those fuckers who had been staring at them all day. They had been having fun at the carnival, eating snacks, going to games, bothering nobody basically, when they decided it was probably best to head back. That's when the problems began.

"We are lost." Dipper deadpanned as Xin growled. "I know where we are!"

As they walked they passed by a group of men, smoking what seemed to be weed from the oddly sweet smell. They started whistling. "Damn! Hey pretty what are you doing here?" "Fuck, I'd totally bang you." "Hey baby come on, smile."

Dipper growled and only his self-control stopped him from punching them in the face. Xin pushed him forward. "Just keep walking...they're just stupid humans…"

Then one tried to touch Dipper's butt, but the spell threw him backwards and onto the ground. As the men frowned in confusion, the girl snapped and with a good kick, she planted her sneakers on his ugly nose. "The fuck is your problem!?" Dipper grabbed the stunned man's wrist and with a swift movement, swung him to the floor. Contrary to popular belief, Dipper did train! He knew a little martial arts! "Don't touch me, fucker!"

The man on the ground, who was probably high now that Dipper thought about it, looked dazed. His friends laughed. "Hah! You just got beat by a girl!" Xin tugged on Dipper's sleeve. "We should go." He was worried about things escalating, and worried about the thrill of joy inside himself that wanted things to escalate.

And then one of the men slapped Xin's butt and all Hell broke loose. "Eep!" Xin squeaked as the barrier repelled it but he still jumped and covered his butt with his hands. Dipper snarled. He was supposed to be looking after his cousin. "Hey! Hands off!" He kicked the guy. They were starting to attract attention.

"Look at this? He's letting his girlfriend fight his battles!" One of the men laughed. Xin looked confused before he finally realized what was happening. Then he got mad. Dipper blinked in surprise when Xin kicked a guy and sent him flying. Oh right. Dragon.

"What the hell?! You don't touch people without asking first!" Xin scolded the men. They were starting to look irritated. "What? It's a compliment. It means you're hot stuff." One trailed his eyes down Xin's body with a crooked smirk. "The feistiness just makes it all the sweeter…" Xin scowled at him, baring his teeth with a growl. Ew. No. He didn't want that.

That's when they started trying to grab him, another sneaking behind Dipper to try and box them in. This time they weren't just sent flying back. This time, they got set on fire.

"AUUUGH?!" They screamed. Dipper winced. He took Xin's hand "RUN!" He shouted. They took off while the men rolled around on the ground to put themselves out. "Hey! You FUCKERS!" One of the men yelled at the two of them. Some of the onlookers had called the cops. Dipper ran and pulled Xin with him. "This is bad! This is sooo bad!" he groaned.

"I think they're chasing us." Xin pointed out. Dipper groaned again. "Dammit!" He heard sirens. "Double damn it!" It wasn't fair! Those dicks should be the one chased! He looked around for where they could run to. His phone rang.

It was his mom, well, temporary dad, and he wanted to speak to Xin? Right now?! He gave Xin the phone and heard him give an explanation about...eggs? Periods? What? They climbed a fence at one point before going into an alleyway. They hid behind a dumpster and waited for the cops and the few men to lose sight of them.

"Are they still after us?" Dipper whispered. He and Xin turned to see one of the men who had attempted to molest them earlier turn a corner into the alleyway and spot them. "Get back here fuckers!" and begin running at them. They ran down the alley. "You can't get away! Fuck! Stand still you fuckin' fag!" the man yelled. Xin quickly said goodbye and hung up, handing the phone to Dipper before giving the now shorter girl a boost up the wall to reach the fire escape ladder.

Xin made a pretty impressive standing jump and caught the ladder himself. The two climbed quickly as the man screeched at them. "Where do we go now?" Dipper asked. Xin looked around. "No cameras...I could teleport us...but I want to make those jerks pay for trying to touch us."

Dipper glared down at the high, angry fucker. He wanted him to pay too. "What do you suggest? Give him and his fuckboys a nightmare?" The teen shrugged. Xin tilted his head "But that would require them to sleep first. I was actually thinking of ripping their balls off…"

Dipper whimpered and pressed his legs together. That was horrifying...every man needed their balls. He sighed at the empty feeling in his pants. BUT! Those guys were not men, they were beasts who could do worse to any innocent person. He grinned. "I will not tell your mom if you do it. But, do it in a way that wouldn't kill them or cause medical problems." His lawyer uncle had a strong socratic sense of morals. Dipper was sure Walter was unable to wish harm on anyone. Not outside the law anyway.

Xin's eyes were flickering. "If it makes you feel any better, two of those guys actually HAVE raped women and one young teenage boy. The rest have molested but didn't manage to penetrate…" he shook his head with a disgusted look. "Ugh...didn't want to see that…"

Dipper looked horrified. "Please burn them alive." He didn't want to share air with scums. Then he felt horrified at what he was even suggesting. "Just- don't kill them. Forget I said that part!" Dipper added quickly. Xin flicked his fingers and Dipper heard multiple blood curdling screams come from the alleyway below them. "Well, I punched that guy's balls. His friends, who've raped before had theirs explode ." Xin grinned. "What else can I do to them?" Human castration had been around for centuries! He knew how to get rid of them without damaging their health…

(If BlueBill's Stanford had been here, he'd have been horrified and felt entirely justified to point out to everyone that this was proof of the man-eater's wickedness.)

"Burn their pants." Dipper had an evil grin on her face. "Make them suffer. But don't kill them or cause actual harm." Xin giggled. "Ok~" Dipper looked over the side of the roof and saw the men lying on the ground, screaming in pain. One was clutching his crotch as blood began staining the fabric. Xin flicked his fingers and the man shrieked louder when his crotch caught fire. Enough to hurt, not enough to burn. Heck, Xin even healed their wounds so they wouldn't bleed out or have any health complications!

Dipper laughed. Served him right. Now he'll never hurt anyone again. Ugh. So disgusting. "Our job here is done." He nodded. They were vigilantes. Xin purred as he tasted the Pain and Fear (taking off his Seal for this). Ooh~that was a nice flavor~ his eyes were glowing red as he gazed down at the sobbing men. Oh, these delicious flavors were doing wonders for getting his energy levels maxed out. And being allowed to do this, from Pinetree of all people? Ooooh~

Dipper wasn't even paying attention to the screaming men. He was texting his dear girlfriend about how they made justice today. Pacifica laughed, not knowing what exactly Dipper was referring to, but sent him a few hearts. Aw~

They called the police, Xin leaving 'video' evidence of their crimes beside them, before he teleported his cousin back to the mall.

Xin practically buzzed with energy. He whined softly. "Dammit. Now I'm horny…" he felt a little itchy and restless. Dipper blinked at him. Seriously?!" Xin shrugged with a blush. "Leftover Lust from them…" He muttered quietly, "Don't worry, it'll pass." Dipper nodded and patted Xin's shoulder. "Thanks for helping me there." The man smiled and ruffled her long brown hair. "Of course, Pinetree, you're my cousin!" Dipper texted Mabel to ask where she was and Markus said he finished shopping with Danna and now they were eating pizza at the food court.

Needless to say, Xin dragged the smaller girl over to the food court while cheering, "PIZZAAA~!"

(A small part of Dipper was still horrified at what he'd allowed Xin to do. Heightened adrenaline had lowered his normally reserved inhibitions. But the thought that this experience would stop those men from hurting anyone again in such a way, mollified him somewhat.)

-.-

The three men blinked in amusement as the Pines girls stumbled towards them, half asleep. Their hair was nicely cut, their nails were pretty and painted and the four of them had an expression of pure bliss. None of them could deny this was a very nice experience. They were denied this joy as men…

"Getting your hair washed and massaged is the best thing in the world." Shelly mumbled and she hugged Abraham, her hair barely reaching his neck. "Be careful with your nails, baby, you wouldn't want to ruin it." He kissed her forehead.

"Stania? How are you feeling?" Carlos asked. Stan mumbled as he leaned against his chest, totally out of it. Carlos laughed and stroked her hair. "Ah this is nice~ What did they use? Your hair is so soft."

"No idea...I feel drugged…" Stania closed her eyes. "Can we go already? I'm tired." Carlos leaned in to whisper. "If you feel too tired, maybe we can continue tomorrow." Stan's eyes widened. "I'm not that tired!"

Kari put her hands over her chest and sniffled. Her babies were so pretty as both boys and girls! She kissed Fania's cheek, who was staring at his hands. That woman didn't mind his fingers...he bet she didn't even notice. Hands were hands and it was her job to paint the nails. "I also think we should go back."

Sab who was kissing Walter, nodded. "Ok…" she pulled out her phone "So, are the kids all together?" Walter, Carlos and Abraham began coughing.

Sab narrowed her eye and Stan looked around. "Carla...where's our squirt?" Everyone looked around for Diego and the twins and the men panicked. "But they were here!" Abraham cried.

"Maybe they went with their cousins?" Ford suggested.

"Di-Dipper and Xin are not here…" Abraham muttered. "And I don't know where Mabel and Dillon are." Sab groaned and closed her eye to search for them. She had to do everything around here! Ok. The teens and Xin were eating, the kids… "Uh?" She said and Walter and Carlos grimaced. "Where are they?!"

Seb turned around and went back to the couch the men had been sitting on. Just next to it, on the floor, half hidden by a stand of magazines, were the kids sleeping. "You three are fucking idiots as men." She scolded as she picked up Diego to give to Stan. Stania let out a relieved sigh and hugged her kid, cradling him to her chest. Then Sab repeated the process with the twins, but she gave Zoe to Fania.

"Baby...I am sorry...can I hold them?" Walter pouted. Sab huffed. "No. She's fine with Ford." Ford blushed when Zoe snuggled against his chest. Sab folded her arms "This is punishment for you three losing sight of them." The three men sighed. They knew this was their own fault.

"Now let's go find the other kids. They're at the food court." Sab told them as the group headed off. ""Food!"" Shermie and Stan cheered. Kari giggled behind her hand. Actually, men or women, their personalities haven't changed. She paused. She guessed it was because that had nothing to do with their sex. Still, she was grateful for this day to indulge in spoiling the daughters she's always wanted. She sighed. Four sons and four grandsons. Out of all of them, she only got two and a half granddaughters (since Miz was a boy half the time). Those Pines genes were very masculine heavy.

Not that she didn't love them though. They were her baby boys. Kari looked at Fania holding Zoe with a warm smile.

They met with the teens as Markus and Danna cooed at how beautiful their moms looked. Shelly blushed and Stania scoffed and denied liking it, also blushing heavily. When they got to a location with no people or cameras, Xin teleported them back to the hotel.

The kids woke up when they got back while the teens, Xin and Ford volunteered to watch them as the couples claimed they were tired from the day. Their innocent hearts couldn't understand the meaning behind that. Anyway, they all went to the game room, decided to teach the kids how to play billiards.

Carlos gave Wanda thumbs up before saying good night. Wanda/Walter turned to his wife. Sab was innocently fixing up the bed so Walter could take a nap. Walter smiled fondly. "You know, actually, I don't think I'm THAT tired yet…" He had something in mind~

"Lets go to the bar!" Was his alcohol-loving, but unfortunate lightheaded, wife's response. "Relax after this very stressful day huh?" Sab grinned. Walter sighed. "Well I'm limiting you to only one drink. You're even smaller than you normally are. So, you'll be even more of a lightweight!"

"Fiiiine~ I'll be careful." Sabrina sighed. They suggested the bar to the other couples. Stan looked like he really wanted (and needed) a drink. "Yes. Bar sounds amazing, I fucking need alcohol right now."

They didn't even bother to tell Xin and Ford, they didn't drink, besides, who would watch their kids? Mwahaha~

There was a bar in the hotel, it wasn't really crowded, just some couples and single people drinking, playing billiards or watching the running football game.

Wanda and Seb got a table, as well as Abi and Shermie, while Carla and Stan sat at the bar counter. Carla grinned as Stan slumped on the counter and barked at the barman to bring him something to destroy his liver and taste buds.

"Stania, sit like a lady~ Close your legs." Carla teased him, only to be flipped off.

"Who are you, my mom?! Imma sit however the fuck I want-give me that!" He snatched the drink from the barman's hand and gulped it all down at once. Stupid Xin, stupid magic, stupid brothers being so comfortable with this.

The barman looked at Carlos. "She's on one of those days, huh?" Stan gasped, offended because NO?! He was angry because this day was horrible?! Not because he was...oh…

"Yeah, she is, don't worry, I got this." Carlos answered for him as he rubbed Stan's, much thinner than before, waist. "You're an asshole, Carla." Stania grumbled as he fought down a blush at being treated like this.

"Oh, I am. You better not say this ever again to anyone, or let your friends say it. Doesn't feel nice does it?" Carla asked him knowingly.

Stan got another drink and focused on the running game. That was his former team, nice~He was the coach of the youngest bunch of newbies for that team, in college or barely out of it. They had to start training if they wanted to make the roster for official games after all.

Now Carlos slumped over Stania's shoulder, resting his round chin on her. "Um what's happening now?" Despite going to almost every game Stan had since they were 15, she still didn't know the first thing about football.

"They're forming the 3-4-3 tactic, babe, it's heavily offensive, which means they're going for the points rather than keeping the other team away." Stan illustrated that on a napkin and Carlos nodded, concentrating as he sipped his drink. "Probably the coach is going to make them do from 'ere a triangular movement-yeah, there it is! Run, Georgo!" Stania screamed at the Tv.

A couple of people, including them, cheered when he scored.

A guy sat down next to Carlos and punched his shoulder in a friendly manner. Carlos squeaked. "Hello, fellow man." Carlos responded.

Stan facepalmed.

"You saw that? That was a great long throw ball." Stan knew for a fact this idiot was trying to sound all smart.

"I think that was a triangular movement." Carlos commented before looking at Stania for clarification.

"Yeah. It was." She glared at the idiot.

The man laughed. "You like football, little lady?"

"I ain't little. Nor a lady." Stania growled. The men laughed again. Stania really didn't like his tone. "It's okay, it's very cute." The man 'assured' him, as if he thought that would make Stania feel better. It didn't.

The man continued babbling nonsense to Carlos, who just nodded awkwardly because, nonsense or not, he still didn't know anything about Football. Stania was going to explode! What the fuck?! "Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?"

The man waved a hand dismissively. "It's just football theory, it's too much to explain."

"It's bullshit, is what it is!" Stania raged. "You're just makin' up words at this point. And you don't know what the fuck you're talking about! Heily is on Defense because that's what he trained for! Not because his 'hands are made for shoving' or whatever the shit you just said about him!"

"Football is a men's sport, you just don't get it, sorry." The man shrugged. "It requires a lot of thinking and planning."

Carlos covered his mouth as his eyes widened. Oh no. He really should stop this now...But getting in the crossfire of Stanley's rage wasn't a very intelligent idea.

"I KNOW 'bout football, dipshit! Unlike you! I am a professional coach, you moron!"

"Yes, yes. I'm sure you've read a lot about it. But watching videos online and managing your kid's team isn't the same as actually being out on the field, playing it." The man dismissed Stan's words entirely, not even listening to him.

Stan wasn't sure how to react to this. No one had ever underestimated him this way. Not as a coach, or at work… no one had ever so completely disregarded him like this.

It felt horrible.

He turned to look at the game, annoyed, but the asshole shut up (for now) so he thought he could go back to enjoying the game.

"Ooohh! Noo, you dumbass! what did you do?! You had the ball right there!" She turned to look at Carla. "You saw?! He fumbled-"

"That was such a bad play, huh?" The man interrupted, nudging Stania's arm with his elbow. "I don't know if you saw it but-"

Stania shoved the man away from her. Personal space! "Yes I saw it! Didn't you hear me say-"

"He didn't pay attention to when the ball was thrown to him, really bad focus there. You see his eyes? He's dazed from being tackled earlier-"

UUURGH FOR MOSES' SAKE! "Shut up! Stop talking to me! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Stania snarled. "I never asked you! I never asked for your fucking opinion! I was just here, talking to my-"

"Look, sorry," The man held up his hands, smiling and giving Carlos a look like, 'Wow, crazy women, am I right?' the man gave Stania another smile. "I just thought I would help explain it to you, since it seemed like you were interested in it." He spoke like Stania was a child being unreasonable, "I was just trying to help."

"Help THIS you condescending asshat!" Stania decked him across the face, making the guy fly back and land on the ground with a bounce. The bar went silent. Stania stood there, panting heavily through her teeth before she snarled and stomped off. Carlos winced. "Ah, you seriously should stop treating my wife and other women like they're idiots." He told the dazed man before leaving to catch up to Stania.

Stania was fuming and kicking a decoration in the hallway, hitting it so much it was shaking and about to fall.

"Stan...Stanley, stop."

"NO!"

"If you break it, you're going to have to pay for it, and I doubt you want that." Carlos pulled her away. The argument seemed to be valid enough for his wife because she stopped struggling and just slumped in his arms. He knew this had been a very low blow, right in her ego.

"He was a fucking asshole." Stan growled.

"Geez, yeah." Carlos winced a bit. "Sorry for not doing anything…" He heard the slightest sound of a sniffle and a broken exhalation before Stania rubbed her face on his chest. "Why does he think I have fucking brain damage just because I'm a woman…?"

" Because you're a woman. Not everyone treats us like that, but it happens pretty often." Carlos sighed, leaning down to hug the distressed Pines brother. "It's… 'normal'."

"Normal sucks." Stania hated all this.

"A lot." Carla agreed. Stania rubbed her eyes. "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have said those things." She mumbled her apology as if it burnt her insides. She wouldn't cry though. She wasn't a pussy.

"It's ok. We're both going to learn stuff this week, ay?" Stania yelped when Carlos picked her up, so she wrapped her legs around his waist. "How about we go make things better~?" He offered with a perverted look that could only be matched by Stania's own.

"I'd love that~" Stania rubbed her pelvis against Carlos and felt a shiver running down his spine. She was put down and the couple quickly made their way to their room.

"...His definitions were so fucking wrong…" She still complained.

They weren't the only one who had the same idea. Soon enough, the other two couples said they were boreed and tireeed and that they were going back to their rooms now.

Seb once again ruffled the bedsheets so they could sleep and searched for pjs when Walter put a hand over his "Hey~ I'm not really that tired."

"Oh, come on, Wands! Make up your mind~!" He innocently complained. Walter leaned over to nuzzle against Sab's neck. "Well~ we can sleep… so I suppose you'll have to… undress…" He trailed a large hand down Sabrina's side, going over her thin waist, her hips and then her thighs. She laughed. "Oh? So we're going to 'sleep' are we~?"

Walter couldn't wait anymore. He wanted to try this, he NEEDED it! "I want to spend the night with you, just the two of us, baby." He tilted her head backwards to kiss her lips and his hands moved upwards from her waist to cup Sab's breasts. So soft and round... Sab smiled into the kiss. "Then let's 'go to bed' shall we?"

(Censored from the fic again, but you can find it here: deletednsfw . tumblr post /613691534852964352/slices-of-life-and-family-chapter-31 ) (spaces again)

The couple stayed there for a while, still gasping for air and just hugging each other. "I love you...I love you so fucking much…" Walter whispered, burying his face in her breasts. Sab sighed contently and closed her eye. "I love you so fucking much too." As no one was going to burst in, they didn't bother to clean so they just got under the blankets and cuddled.

They were damn perverts but that felt fucking amazing.

When they were about to fall asleep, they heard noises, gasps and moans from the room next door, which sounded very much like...Stania...and...Carlos...

Walter and Sabrina hid under the blankets, groaning in embarrassment. They were probably heard!

"I wonder why they're all so tired? We didn't do all that much today." Ford wondered as he and Xin sat beside each other in the spa. The teenagers were watching the kids in the game room so the two had gone to the sauna to relax.

Xin coughed, wondering if he should tell this innocent owl what his brothers were up to. "Well…" he looked around to check that no one else was nearby. This place had small, private booths and they were lucky to get the place to themselves. No cameras either. Xin allowed his tail to pop out with a groan. "Your brothers are having wild sex with their wives."

Xin laughed loudly at the horrified expression the woman made next to him. "Wh-What?!" She shrieked. "But-but they are...like this!" She motioned to her body. Xin nodded. "That's what makes it more fun, trying it out from the other's point of view."

Ford screamed into his hands. For everything that was possible, that was completely disgusting! "Ew!" He whined childishly and Xin laughed again. "I know, I know, but they are happy and enjoying it."

Ford was blushing hard, it only made Xin laugh more.

Xin leaned against her. "It's so weird, we're both asexual but we feel different about stuff. For one, I feel the need for sexual satisfaction, and it's annoying to have a sex drive...when I, myself have no desire for sex. Xin muttered quietly. He looked down at his hands and the towel wrapped loosely around his waist. "But you don't seem to get much of this, whatcha think?"

"I think it's gross." Ford crossed his arms and pouted. Xin cooed at how cute she looked. "I try not to think much about it." She was wearing a towel around her slim waist and her bra. She rubbed her legs together at the empty feeling and adjusted the towel around her chest. She looked up at Xin, wondering if he was seeing...

Xin wasn't looking at her though, more focused on poking his tail and lost in thought. "I don't get it. Like...why do people care so much about sex to the point that some people go after people who AREN'T willing?" He growled lightly, remembering the assholes he'd met earlier that day. "Like, if I get horny, I do it myself ! I just masturbate and I'm satisfied." He clenched fist. "How could people ever want it so bad that they would force themselves on someone else? I just don't understand…" he might have fantasies about weird stuff but they're just fantasies. He knew there were things that should never be done to real people!

Ford frowned. "I don't know either." He pushed his breasts up and adjusted them. He was sweating. S/He looked at Xin again. Fania did it again, adjusting hi/her breasts. Xin didn't seem to notice.

"So...do you agree that people who force themselves on others like that should be punished ?" Xin asked quietly. Ford nodded. "Of course!"

Xin's tail curled up. "I wonder if I'm similar to them?" Ford looked up in shock. "No. Of course not! Why would you say that?" Xin ducked his head in shame. "I like watching people fuck...without their permission." He gave a bitter laugh. "The worst Voyeur in the multiverse...even created a whole planet for it. A porn planet! A planet filled with people I can experiment with. So I can twist their bodies for my own amusement and then watch them go at it with each other." He shuddered.

"Doesn't that make me just as bad? Even if I'm not touching them…" he questioned. "I've never touched someone with my own hands in such a way, but I like watching them. Is that...just as bad?" He pulled his legs up to his chest, burying his face into his knees.

Fania hummed in thought, momentarily forgetting about...whatever she was trying to do with her breasts, and analyzed the circumstances before she put a hand over his. "I think you're insane," she said bluntly, "There are things you do that are just as insane, but you aren't a bad demon." The woman laughed. "You're also not a bad person… you said you experiment with them, are you forcing them to do anything they don't want?"

"No, I just made a little transformation Curse that they could walk into and activate willingly, and I give them a free try at the Curse a second time, to change things, if they weren't happy with the effects of the transformation the first go around… and I put them in situations where sexy times can happen. But everything they choose to do is on them."

"Then you're not evil." Ford shrugged. "I'm guessing you haven't killed anyone on this porn planet of yours?" Xin shook his head and Fo/Fania laughed. "See?"

"But...I cursed you all into the opposite sex. I...messed with your bodies in a way more intimate than anything...and it was just a whim…" Xin said softly. "Just because I got annoyed and because I COULD." he shivered. "I've done stuff like that before. In my Deals, in my experiments...just...for fun…" Those were all the things that other Stanford always accused him of… and he was right, and Xin hated that fact so very much...

Fania sighed. "Well, if you feel bad about it...then...stop doing it?" She wasn't sure what to say. "Or, ask for permission first?" She suggested as she rubbed Xin's arm. "I mean, I guess being turned into a woman was...a little distressing at first, but I've learned a lot." She scratched her head sheepishly. "Like how much pain they go through to look nice...simply because they're expected to look nice." He frowned. "Which is incredibly unfair. Stan could go around with his hair disheveled and his clothes unkempt but no one bats an eye. But if Carla doesn't put on makeup for a day I hear people talk about it." Ford frowned. "I hear about it, even all the way in Oregon . Those damn paparazzi that follow Stan and Carla everywhere will comment on it and the damn thing shows up on the news."

Xin gave a bitter laugh. "So much for equality huh?"

Ford nodded. He was sorry for saying there was equality in America, way back when. Just because he tried to respect women didn't mean others did. And even then, Ford admitted to himself that he'd been pretty awful at times too, not maliciously so, but simply because he'd grown up in that kind of culture and had learned that it was 'normal', even when he now knew it wasn't . He had never even thought about the reality. He grabbed Xin's hands and looked at his friend.

"Besides, if you feel bad about what you do, then you can't be that bad. Bad guys don't feel guilty over what they do. And you need that guilt to push you to try to be better . I know you can try. Like...how I'm trying to be closer to my family...and, you told me trying is a lot…" The brunette smiled sheepishly at Xin.

Xin squeezed Ford's hands and pulled one of them up to his cheek without thinking. "I guess you're right." He laughed. "Geez, look at me, I tell others that they're not bad people and now you're telling me...but...I still feel like a bad person...whenever I think about what I've done...what I continue to do…"

"Well, baby steps. From now on, don't transform people without asking first? Unless it's an emergency or some other extenuating circumstance." Ford suggested. "You know, the merfolk transformation a few days ago wasn't bad. I...enjoyed it."

"Really?" Xin grinned. Ford nodded. "I actually wouldn't mind that again someday! If only so I can travel around underwater and see all there is to see."

Xin laughed "Of course you did, you big nerd!" He giggled. "As a merman? Or a mermaid? It would allow you to see if the body dynamic changes~" The dragon laughed loudly when he saw Fania actually thinking about it.

Ford laughed and ran a hand over his chest. "Ugh, I'm sweating." He complained, the towel slipping down to his wide hips, but still covering his crotch. Fania was glad for that. Heck, she was only allowing her towel to drop since it didn't seem like Xin cared. Which was nice, not being ogled at.

Xin laughed. "That's the point, nerd!" The dragon laughed.

"But it's collecting between my be-breasts and it feels uncomfortable." Fania complained. Xin rolled his eyes. "Well, you're not even supposed to be wearing a bra in here, you're supposed to be naked and just have a towel."

Ford pouted hard. Xin rolled his eyes again. "You were already chest-naked this morning in front of me and I didn't care. Just do it, you'll feel better." Then the dragon giggled. "Do you need help taking it off~?"

"...Maybe." Unhooking the bra sounded like a challenge.

Xin grinned as sat down a little closer. "It's ok, I'll help." He reached for Fania's back and gently unhooked the bra. His breasts hung a little. Xin reached to the front part of the bra, and cupped her breasts in his hands for a few long seconds before freeing her chest. Xin looked at them as Ford's chest bounced free before looking directly at him/her.

Fania reached for her towel without seeing and pulled it up to cover her big chest with a hand. She stared into Xin's eyes, they were so close, with how the dragon had gone right up in order to help her take her bra off... She never noticed Xin's eyes were coal black… (Miz's were a deep dark brown that looked black.)

"You know, you look amazing as a woman…" Xin said bluntly, speaking up at last after looking Ford over.

"Th-Thank you I guess… " He...still wasn't used to anyone complimenting him for his aspects as a man (except for Xin of course)...it was even WEIRDER to be complimented as a woman.

"Ok...tha-thanks…" he repeated, for lack of anything to say, looking down at his breasts. "So...these don't turn you on? Even if you're admiring them?" He asked curiously.

"Yeah, like I said, I may like watching the action, but someone's body itself doesn't really affect me." Except for transformations, but he wasn't about to tell Fordsie that. Fania laughed. "That's an interesting way to say it. So you're interested in the process, but not the parts?"

"Like how people like watching movies but not enjoy sitting through all the rehearsals." Xin corrected, then laughed. "And to phrase it another way…" He scooted even closer, pressing against Fania's side with a grin. "I love watching horror movies, but I don't want to be part of one."

"Hm." Fania thought about it. "Neither would I." She glanced up at Xin's grinning face. "Do you like horror movies, for real? Or were you just using it as a metaphor?"

"I love horror movies! But I'm not allowed to watch them anymore." Xin rolled his eyes. "Why's that? Wait, you're a psychic being with reality warping powers, of course you're not allowed to watch horror movies." Fania deduced on her own.

Taking advantage of being so close to her, Xin reached for her waist and tickled her. "You're such a nerd!"

"AAAHHH!" Fania shrieked and tried kicking Xin away all while trying to keep the towel around her body. The two scuffled on the sauna bench, laughing and shrieking as they poked each other. It was a good thing it was late. They had this sauna room all for themselves. They ended up on the floor on top of each other, laughing. That was almost like a session. Xin tied up both their hair into buns (so they didn't accidentally pull them), but didn't feel like standing up, and neither did Fania. Resting on him, with her arms under her cheek, Fania looked at him curiously. "Are there saunas in space? This makes you sweat, but do aliens sweat? They liberate toxins through it?"

"Like, bajillions of them!" Xin laughed breathlessly, panting a little. "Most of them are natural as well. Volcanic planets are a dime a dozen! They're the new ones, the ones with molten cores still burning hot through a half formed crust. They haven't been around long enough for the mantle to close up into what you'd call 'land', which leaves the whole planet a sweltering hellscape of fire and heat." Xin laid his head back on the ground, finally catching his breath. "So naturally, a more advanced alien race looks at this burning ball of fire and goes 'Hey, we should build a luxury resort on top of it!' and then we have saunas and hot springs!"

Fania laughed. That was so cool! "Even in space, all people care about are profits, huh?" She asked. She was so close to Xin his face wasn't blurry anymore even with her glasses off. Fania could see the slit pupils in his dark eyes, which were only visible against the black irises due to Xin's pupils having a faint glow around the edges. She could see the way his pupils contracted as he focused on her in return. Their noses were so close they were touching, they could feel each other's breathing. And Fania noted that she really wanted to study the anatomy of Xin's odd eyes. Pupils were for letting light in, but it almost looked like there was light coming from inside the dragon's eyes...

Fania realized belatedly, that her towel had been flung off during their rolling around. And so had Xin's. She was laying on him, her large breasts pressed against his chest. One of her knees was pressed against the ground between his thighs as her other leg straddled his leg. She was sweating all over, and Xin's skin was hot. But he wasn't sticky, like Fania knew other sweaty humans would be. Skin to skin contact was gross because of the way humans stuck to each other. But Xin felt smooth,dry but not rough. She suddenly realized that touching Xin felt comfortable. Well, she knew that already, having fallen asleep many times after a session with him before, but she hadn't actually thought about it that way. And… here, pressed so close against him, Fania felt herself heating up, and it had nothing to do with the sauna.

Xin watched, breathless, as the brunette traced his chest with her slender 6 fingered hand, it was rough though, Fania's hands were callused from constant use, it felt so good~ (Xin loved their texture against his skin) and her breasts shifting and moving just so slightly...her nipples pressed against his chest. "Xin…" Fania said in a whispering tone. "Yeah?" Xin stared up at her, holding back a purr from the way she was stroking his chest.

"I…" Fania swallowed, trying to find her words.

A sharp beep sounded, making the two scream and jump, smacking into each other and wincing in pain. Xin rubbed his cheek, where Fania's skull had impacted when they both jolted, and looked up. "Oh. Our time's up." The timer was there for the safety of the guests. Too long in the sauna led to health risks after all. He stood up, searched for his and Fania's towels and the two covered themselves back up. Fania wrapped herself slowly, not really wanting to leave yet.

"Hey, we can continue our discussion in the shower room?" Xin told her, and Fania felt a smile tug at her lips. "Sure. If they have co-ed showers." Xin cackled, "That's what perception filters are fooooor~" He offered Fania a hand as he dramatically bowed. The scientist rolled her eyes and took it. "Thank you."

The two found a shower room for Fania to rinse off her sweat. Xin didn't really need to, but he showered with her anyway so they could keep talking.

"Xin, this change, does it...make you feel different?" Fania asked softly.

"Like, mentally? I know mom and Seb have been a little confused since apparently their gender identity has been flip flopping and it's kinda worrying." Xin said. "It shouldn't be happening. Gender isn't related to biological sex after all. I'm a little worried that I did something wrong."

Fania-Ford blinked. He JUST realized he had been...wow…He had been seeing himself as a woman all this time? That was something to look into, but he was referring to... other stuff (the warm feeling between her legs, for one. The way her heart was racing, for another), but nope. No way he was asking Xin about that .

"Maybe it's easier to change it to match their sex. You know how complicated it is when you don't match...like Zachary." Ford theorized.

Xin hummed. "But Stan hasn't, as far as I know. From what I could tell, if the person I changed is open to the idea of being the opposite gender, they...mentally swap without even thinking about it." he waved his tail lazily "Which, I can't tell if that's a good thing or not? I mean, what about you? Do you feel like a woman right now?"

Ford blushed. "I...must admit that now that I've been relaxing and talking to you...I found myself not really caring being about being Fania or not. It's more important to be me ." They finished showering and with towels around themselves once again, they sat on a bench. Xin hummed. "You know what? I think I've figured it out." Ford blinked. "Yes?" Xin pointed at him. "You, me, Seb and probably all of us except Stan and Dipper, we don't base our identities on what sex we are."

Ford blinked. "I'm not sure I understand?" Xin leaned back against the wall. "For you, you're a scientist first and a man second. I'm sure, whether you're male or female, you'll always be a 'scientist'."

"...thanks?" Ford wasn't sure if he was being complimented or teased.

"And it's the same for the rest of us. We are US first and our sex second. But for Stan and Dipper…" Xin frowned. "Dipper spent so much of his life being worried about 'being a man' which tells me that he puts the fact that he's a boy before being himself . Same goes for Stan. He is a manly man, who's very attached to the idea of being what your asshole father beat into him the definition of a man should be. Someone gruff, muscular, stubborn…hairy." Xin grimaced. "Stan's spent his life putting his sex first, he's built his entire sense of identity and self worth upon that very subject."

Ford considered it. Xin wasn't wrong. That DID sound a lot like Stan. He always talked about how he didn't do girly things like cry or talk about his feelings. He excused a lot of the stuff he did on his sex. He always worked to maintain his persona of being a 'real' man…

Just like father had always told them.

Xin growled. "Your dad fucked you all up. Heck, Dipper is a little hesitant but even HE'S more open to being more than just his biological sex."

Ford played with his sixth finger and smiled. "Well, Stan will never admit it, but I saw he enjoyed having his nails done." Xin took the woman's slender but calloused hands and looked at her nails. "Ooh~ Pretty. Sebastian picked it out didn't he?" Ford looked down and nodded. "I don't know about this stuff." Xin giggled and hugged her. "It's ok, you still have a week to learn…" Ford sighed and sank into the hug.

"If Stan begrudgingly enjoyed being pampered, perhaps there's some hope for him?" Xin grinned mischievously "After all, he certainly enjoys one of the other parts about being female." Ford flushed. "Have you been watching them?!" He choked.

"Of course not. But I can feel their Lust from down here. God. They're STILL going at it!" Xin frowned up at the ceiling. "I guess he's not a former football star for nothing. That stamina…how does Carla keep up with him?"

Ford was bright red and searching for some way to change the subject off his brother having intercourse as a woman… "Xin, I realized we left the children without supervision-"

The dragon easily Saw around. "They're at the pool now. Must be tempered. Wanna go check on them? The older kids are watching, so it's not like they're alone."

"Yes. That would greatly reassure me." Ford got up, face red from what they'd been talking about and trying to take his mind off the subject. ...And from the ongoing tingling sensation between his legs. As he breathed and, for lack of a better word, meditated, it was slowly going away. Seriously, what the fuck was going on with him? He felt like a dumb teenager again, feeling horny all the time for no reason-

Ford looked up just in time to see Xin's towel slip and fall a few inches before the dragon caught it and pulled it back up. Oh no. The tingling was back! Goddammit!

Xin gave them swimming clothes again, and, to his surprise, Fania accepted the bikini he offered as a joke. 'Whatever, yeah.' Was his answer. It looked really, really good on her! Damn Pines genes even here!

"We were wondering where you were!" Mabel waved at them as the two approached the pool. Dipper was being drowned by Diego and Zoe.

"We lost track of time, but we're back." Ford nodded.

"Get in! Play!" Zach called out at them.

Xin laughed. "How about we all hang out for a bit, but then we sleep! We can't stay here all night." He suggested. His little brother and sister cheered. Dipper and Markus were watching their uncle/aunt with surprised looks. Woah.

Xin easily picked up the brunette and yeeted her in the pool despite her screams. The cousins moved away and Ford hit the water with a loud splash. After that, Xin jumped in.

Zoe cackled like the gremlin she was. "So what're you and uncle Sixer doing?"

Xin picked Zoe up to place in his lap for a hug. "Why, we discuss deep philosophical questions." He laughed. "Like, how many cat's can you own until you've reached peak happiness? If having one cat increases your dopamine and having a second gives even more, at what point would you overdose on cats?"

Zach climbed onto his brother as well while the older twins giggled and sat down in front of them. "Well, we don't have cats, but Queen Flutter is cute and we love her and we need more! I say...at least 5 cats at once." Zach showed him 5 little fingers. "But I like dogs too."

Xin nodded. "Having more maple cats sounds like a good thing huh?" the younger twins nodded. "But!" Xin said "Happiness only goes up to a certain point. And once you reach max, it takes more to get you up that high again. Which means that having a lot of cats will make you super happy for a while until it doesn't work anymore because you've oversaturated yourself on cats."

The younger twins gasped in horror. There was such a thing as too many cats? Xin nodded solemnly. "And when that happens, people think the answer is MORE cats. So they get another cat and this new cat will give them another spike of happiness...until it fades too. So, what do you think they do?" He asked them.

Zoe scrunched up her face in confusion. "They...get more cats?" She asked. Xin nodded. "And what do you think happens after that?"

"They...stop getting happy off that cat...so they have to get another new cat?" Zach guessed. Xin nodded again. "And of course, as much as you like cats, you can't keep doing this forever. That'll be too many cats and you'll still never feel satisfied. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

The twins nodded. "So...we don't need more cats. Because having one is good enough. And if we get too many then we'll never be happy."

Xin hugged them. "Yes. That is exactly it. You're so smart. You know there are plenty of adults who haven't been able to understand this concept."

Markus blinked. "I don't get it." Dipper rolled his eyes. "Xin's saying that constantly seeking out things for the sake of pleasure, makes you unable to appreciate what you already have. And that if you live your life constantly trying to get more and more, you'll just end up unhappy and unsatisfied."

Markus floated backwards and nodded. "Oohhh~ So you are saying that even if colorful stickers make you happy, you can't use stickers to be happy?" Dipper blinked and sighed. "Yes. Ok, that applies too."

Ford rolled his eyes. Kids...

Zach kicked his legs and pushed his hair back as it was plastered to his forehead with water. "Xin...How did you turn mommy into daddy and daddy into mommy?" Zoe hit his arm. "Duh! Magic!"

"Um...can you turn me too? Because I'm a boy, but...I don't look like my Dad...and I look like Zoe, but she's a girl." The little boy said and everyone fell silent. Xin pressed his lips together. "I...I want to...but I don't know if this is the right thing to do. There's the legal papers and we'd have to make an excuse to your pediatrician and your hospital records... You're still so young…" He blinked. "Alright. How about this? When you turn 18, I'll turn your body into a guy like your dad. If that's still what you want, once you're older." Xin glanced up at Ford. "That's consent, right?"

He nodded with a smile but Zach pouted. "But that's too long!"

"I think this is best, baby." Markus stroked his hair. "As a big kid, you will know if that is your actual decision, and you will be happy because you know you decided by yourself." Xin hugged Zach. "How about this? I will make sure you don't grow up like Zoe does, so until you're old enough to decide for real, you won't be forced to look like her before your 18th birthday?"

The kid hummed before nodding. "Ok. Deal." He extended his hand with flames to seal it, just in case. Xin shook, his own hand on fire. Zach grinned. "I can't wait to grow up!"

Xin hugged his little brother. "Speaking of growing up...you two are gonna start school soon~"

Markus cooed and Dipper smiled. "You two are lucky. We're part of the percentage who face dangers with a friend always by your side." She/he high-fived his brother/sister.

Zach held his twin's hand and both smiled. "Is school fun? Like pre-school?" Zoe asked. "It's very fun." Ford nodded with a smile. "You learn lots of new things there."

"And you make friends!" Markus added. The twins grinned at that information. They loved making friends! The only had Amanda, and she's awesome, but more friends would be cool too! Xin grinned at the older twins "How're things with you two? Miss elementary school?"

"Welp! I already got accepted into my school!" Dipper said proudly and everyone clapped excitedly. "It's in California so I'll still be close to my parents and you guys." He blushed when everyone went "Aaaaaww!"

"Well, I-I am still not sure…I'm in general studies right now." Mabel rubbed the back of her head. "Um, but mom and dad said I should find something I like...maybe something related to arts or knitting! Or I could try politics and become president of HUGS!" She smiled. Xin grinned. "Go talk to Seb later. He's got some contacts in the textiles and fashion industry. I'm sure he can get you some recommendations if you really want to get into that. As for politics, I could make a few Deals..." (He was also planning to tear the American government apart and fix it, he just needed permission…)

Mabel rubbed her arm, unsure "I don't want to get in just because I have connections…" Xin scoffed. "Mabel, in the working world, it's ALL about connections, money and status. Finding a GOOD job in the current market is all but impossible without connections and recommendations. Society is fucked."

Mabel wilted. "That sounds scary and grown up. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet." Dipper hugged her. "But we'll all be here with you. We'll help you figure it out together." She hugged him back, enveloping Dipper's slender form with her muscular arms. "Thanks, bro-bro."

Zoe raised her hand. "I want to do what mommy does...um...kick ass!" She repeated what she heard from dad once. "I want to be a cop!" Zach added. Xin ruffled their hair. "That's my little sis and bro! Taking down bad guys!" He blinked. "Hm, I'm sure you'd be able to easily subdue criminals with your telekinesis and prevent them from hurting people or escaping."

The twins high-fived and then they looked at their Uncle, watching them with a fond smile. "Did you always know you wanted to be a scientist and see monster's guts?" Zoe grinned.

Ford blinked. "Eh, I don't see monster's guts, Zoe...not anymore." He whispered to himself. "To be honest...I wasn't quite sure, the possibility of studying the paranormal and being in a scientific career was given to me in my last year…" Without a scholarship, he knew he'd have to work to pay for college… and he just… wasn't made for that.

"What about you Xin?" Zoe asked. "What are you going to do?"

Xin blinked slowly. "Me?" He paused. "I don't...know?" He scratched his head. "I haven't really thought about it. I've already got my high school degree and I can easily get a scholarship on my grades alone but technically I can start working now. Except everyone thinks Miz is like...13 years old." He leaned against the wall. "I don't know what I wanna do. I was planning to help take care of you and Zach until you grow up."

"But what are you going to do afterward?" Zach asked. Xin didn't know. He didn't think about it. He just wanted to stay with Seb and everyone else. But he couldn't live with Seb and Wanda forever, right? Kids were supposed to move out when they grew up, right?

But he didn't want to leave them...the twins looked at him and they smiled. "You can kick ass with us!" Zoe shrugged. Xin smiled. They were so adorable.

"Zoe, don't say that." Ford scolded lightly and the girl frowned. "But mommy an' daddy, does that! Ass, ass, ass!" Her brother joined in with the chanting and Ford pinched the bridge of his nose as the older twins laughed loudly. It was so painfully clear they were Seb's kids.

Xin giggled and splashed his pouting face.

Dipper rolled her eyes. "Does he have to act like a child even when he looks like that?" Markus shrugged. "I dunno, with the whole Chinese thing, he looks like he could be anywhere between 19 and 25?"

Ford shrugged. He was used to childishness. Paternity had gotten Seb a little more mature, but barely noticeable. He was still reckless and childish. It was part of who he was.

Xin's hair was flowing around him in the water and Ford suddenly realized his tail was still out. "Xin!" He hissed and looked around for others. "Relax, perception filter." He dragged the temporary woman closer to him with his tail. The two stared at each other before Xin smiled and moved Ford's hair away from his face. "There! Your bun unravelled. Want me to help you pull it back up?"

Ford sighed and, with a blushing nod, he turned around. (For some reason, he thought it was stupid to miss a chance to let Xin touch his hair and feeling his warm body close to him agai-AaAh, the warmth! the tingling!)

Xin gathered the long brown locks and gently tied it up. "A-Aren't you a fire spirit? You seem quite at home in the water." Ford said, to fill the silence.

"I suppose, but I always liked water best. It's my favorite Type for BakeMon." Xin said, swishing his tail lazily through the water. "I always started with Water."

The scientist laughed. He understood that reference, the twins had once sat him down to show him their collection of BakeMon cards. He was a good uncle and listened to everything they said. Though the names, he didn't remember. There was...Pikachu...green Pikachu...fire Pikachu...

Xin freed her and turned her around. "There. Much better!" The dragon smiled warmly.

"Thank-Ah!" Fonia was hit in the head by a beach ball. "Sorry, Uncle Ford!" Dipper laughed and Markus hid behind the little twins. Ford narrowed his eyes and grabbed the floating ball. "Come back here!" The cousins all screamed and swam away as Ford chased them with the beach ball. Xin grinned widely, incredibly proud of his owl. He frowned. His? Eh, he really needed to work on this possessiveness thing, didn't he…

Xin swam off deeper into the pool, the water felt nice. He surfaced with a gasp and brushed his hair from his face. He heard a giggle. Xin turned to see a young woman outside the pool, standing a meter away from the border.

Xin blinked. "Um...hi?" The woman sat down on the edge of the pool, cross-legged. "Hello~ I guess coming to swim at night was a better idea than I thought…" She said sheepishly. "I'm Amelie, what's your name?"

"...Xin…" The dragon frowned and hid his tail behind him under the water just in case. Well, she wasn't being weird, and Wanda did always worry that he wasn't making any friends with normal humans who weren't in the family. And this girl wasn't trying to impose on her personal space… so… well… might as well talk to her?

"That's a nice name…" She smiled kindly. Xin couldn't feel anything malicious from her, so it must be ok. "Thanks, I like your name too." Amelie smiled and looked at the kids playing. "Are they your family?" Xin smiled proudly. "Yup! My adoptive family. Have you come with your family or with friends?" He swam a little closer and leaned against the side of the pool.

"I came with my parents. We're going to an aunt's wedding." Amelie shrugged. "I don't know anyone here and I didn't really want to go out on my own to meet people…" She twirled a strand of her hair around a finger "I wasn't expecting other people to be at the pool so late." Xin laughed. "Yeah, well, my little brother and sister refuse to sleep. I figured letting them swim for a bit would tire them out enough I'll be able to tuck them in."

Amelie looked over at the children splashing each other. "That sounds nice. I'm an only child. Always wanted a sibling. It's kind of lonely." She looked a little wistful. Xin smiled and pulled himself out of the water. He sat down beside her, his tail just out of view, hidden behind his hair. "I love my siblings. I'm...really happy mom adopted me. But even if you're an only child, I'm sure you've got your friends right?"

Amelie nodded. "Yeah. I wish they could have come too. It's gonna be boring by myself all summer." She looked (and tasted) sad. Xin felt a little bad. "Well, if it's not too weird to hang out with someone you just met, my family's gonna be here all summer too." Amelie lit up. "R-really?"

Xin brushed his hair behind an ear. "I mean, sure? I...don't really have any friends outside of my family. I'm actually a little shy around humans." The dragon admitted. Amelie laughed. "What? Do you talk to plants instead?" Xin blushed. "Only sometimes…"

Amelie giggled. "Well I heard talking to plants helps them grow." Xin scoffed. "Naw, there isn't enough carbon dioxide for that. The real reason why people say that is 'cause the people who talk to their plants generally pay more attention to them and therefore take better care of them."

The two chatted, Xin was actually having fun. Markus stared at them and squealed. Her inner matchmaker coming to the surface. "Ooh~who's THAT?" She ran over with a wide grin. "Um, Amelie, this is Markus, my cousin, Markus, Amelie." The teen grinned widely at the girl sitting next to Xin. "You're so pretty! You two look adorable together!" Dipper, Ford and the twins noticed Mabel bothering Xin and spotted the girl beside him, she looked to be in her early 20s. Dipper sighed. "Mabel, leave them alone."

Fania watched Xin laugh as he talked to that girl. Oh, looks like he was trying to make a human friend. That was good, Fania knew that was a good thing, Bill needed more human interaction. But Fania also felt a little… lonely without the dragon's warm presence behind him.

"Xin! Is that your girlfriend?!" Zoe screamed as she pointed at the girl. Xin laughed. "Nah, I JUST met her. This is Amelie. Amelie, these are my little brother and sister, Zach and Zoe." The girl squealed. "Oh my gosh! Twins! That's so cute!"

"Twins kinda run in the family. Markus has a twin sister, Mary. But we all call her Dipper." Xin explained. "Dipper?" Amelie giggled. Zach nodded. "She has a birthmark that looks like the cons-cons-constallation." He smiled. Zoe nodded. "And our mommy has two sisters! They look the same but they also don't!"

"Triplets." Xin explained. Amelie nodded. "Wow. I heard twins were genetic but...geez." Zach and Zoe swam up to her. "Are you going to be Xin's girlfriend?" Xin glared and the girl blushed. "We JUST met, we can't be dating if we just met." Xin scolded them.

Dipper and Ford chuckled from their spot watching from afar. Xin glanced over at them. "Hey! Come over and introduce yourselves." He waved. His tail began to wag. Markus's eyes widened and he sat down on it to hide the appendage. Xin squeaked. Markus stared at him. "Dude, your tail." He whispered. Xin pouted. "Perception filter." Markus shook his head. "Still!" Xin winced. "You're crushing my tail…" He whined.

Luckily, Dipper and Ford had swam over and distracted Amelie. "Hello." Ford nodded, putting his hands behind his back unconsciously. "It's nice to see Xin making friends..."

Amelia smiled. "Are you...his...mom?" She tried, but it was almost impossible. This woman was not old enough for that. Wait, no, he said he was adopted.

"NOO!" Ford cried horrified, the thought was disturbing. "I-I am his...eh...un-aunt? It's my sister who adopted him." He coughed. "It's nice to meet you, young lady."

"The pleasure is mine." Amelia smiled. "This is our Auntie Stefania! One of our mommy's sisters!" Zach declared proudly and Amelia nodded, taking in her face and features to try and imagine the other two women. Couldn't be that different, right? Amelia shook hands with the woman and both blinked at their discoveries. Ford noticed the girl's hand was unusually cold, while Amelia noticed she had 6 fingers! That was so cool! Neither of them commented on it though. No need for that.

It was when the little twins started yawning that everyone knew it was time to go to sleep already. Xin picked his little siblings out of the water and wrapped them in their crocodile and bear bathrobes. "It was nice meeting you, Amelia, hope we can meet again some other day!" Xin grinned at her. She blushed. "O-okay! Hope to see you too!" They waved to her and left, the girl going in the pool to swim for a bit on her own.

As soon as they were out of there and wrapped in towels, Xin hiding his tail under it, Markus turned to him with a grin. "Sooo~you made a pretty new friend~" He teased. Xin sighed. "She's lonely, none of her friends are here. Why shouldn't I try to make a friend?" Ford patted Xin's shoulder. "Well I think that was very kind of you."

Dipper sighed. "And how are you going to explain how your family all changed sex a week from now?" Xin waved a hand. "Details, I'll find a way." Dipper groaned. This was going to end horribly. They weren't in Gravity Falls! People weren't going to just...ignore this sort of thing. Even WITH the perception filter.

Xin just waved off his concern again. Dipper wanted to sob.

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Guys I really want you to see the genderbend drawings! Please please check this chaoter in AO3! FF doesnt let me to paste the link please!

Please comment! Hope you liked this chapter