Slices of Life and Family

by bluefrostyy

PART 3 of The life of Sebastian Pines! (Read that first, I doubt you'll understand what's going on) The story follows Seb's life after Gravity Falls. Bill was defeated, but the Pines family still have thousands of adventures together. Old characters will come back, new characters will make an appearance, all to accompany Seb through his journey as a human (Cowritten with Mizuuma)

37. Chapter 37 What makes a lab assistant

Notes:

Mizuuma: So... spoilers for Illusion is Reality, since this chapter takes place chronologically after the chapters currently updating over there, oops XD

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Something major happened. Ford had noticed because he wasn't that blind but he didn't say anything because he wasn't sure if he was correct, or if Melody had simply gained weight over the summer. And if he was wrong, he really didn't want Melody or Soos or Abuelita angry at him. They were very scary.

But if he was correct in his assumptions, Melody was pregnant.

And Soos was walking on air, almost literally, as he somehow got a hold of some float-shrooms and was beside himself with both excited glee and nervous anticipation. Sebastian was actually the one to tell Ford the good news, as Ford had been too afraid to ask Melody in case he was wrong.

"I'm getting another NIBLING! Soos says it'll be a baby girl! A NIECE!" Seb screamed over the phone. Ford twitched as his poor eardrum was abused by Seb's shrill scream. "Why didn't you tell me, bitch?!"

Ford rubbed his ear. "Because...I wasn't sure? And...it's not my place to tell you…?"

Seb huffed. "You've replaced me as Question Mark's best friend...even Stan hangs out with him more because he invests in the Shack as a pet project… Stan liked the Shack a lot…" He grumbled. Ford raised an eyebrow.

"Are...Are you jealous that I spend more time with them? I'll remind you it was your idea for them to move in here…"

"Maaaaybe! I'll go visit them but not you !" Seb cackled. Ford rolled his eyes. "I'm sure Soos would love that." he said sincerely, despite the mirth in his voice. "Maybe I will! Hey Miz! Get the twins! We're gonna visit Soos!"

"Yay!" Miz cheered. Question Mark and Cadenza were going to be parents! Babies! Baaaabies! (Miz felt a pang inside. Babies… she just couldn't get over it. Even now. There was definitely something wrong with her.)

Ford sighed when the phone call ended. Well, he was glad everyone was so excited for this. He was looking forward to this too. He was so happy for Soos and Melody. Children...

Ford coughed. He supposed it was going to get more crowded around the Shack in the future. Maybe he'd use this as an excuse to get the house expanded again?

Ford entered his lab early in the morning of late November, early December, coffee mug in hand, a yawn on his lips and ready to trudge through more calculations to figure out why his newest version of the perpetual motion machine wasn't working. Well, it wasn't a perpetual motion machine. It was a gravity battery, but he couldn't help calling it that anyway. He closed his eyes as he yawned and opened them to see a person lounging on top of his work bench.

"Ah!" He startled and nearly spilled his coffee. The person on his desk burst out laughing. "AHAHAHA! THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE!"

Ford placed a hand over his pounding heart. "Mi-William! What the heck?!" He scowled at the friendly version of Bill Cipher who was currently in that adorable cyclops form of his (hers? Ford still had trouble with that). Judging by the...lingerie (?!) she was wearing, Ford tentatively decided she must be female right now. (The fact that she was teasing him again actually made him relieved. After what had happened with her brother, well… Ford was relieved to see her somewhat getting back to normal.)

"What are you wearing?" Ford was a little embarrassed by the sheer white fabric. Sure, he'd seen her naked before, but somehow… the half dressed look was more… enticing. And Ford realized he was tracing the edges of the ribbons with his eyes. William was blushing faintly at Ford's suddenly interested gaze. "W-well I originally wore this because I thought it would be funny…" she covered her half exposed chest bricks with a thin arm self consciously. "But I suppose I didn't realize it would feel so embarrassing…" her attempt at flustering Ford to see the funny look on his face appeared to have backfired! Uwu… she was fine being naked around him, but somehow this felt different...

"You know, I never got to ask last time, but, are those bricks growing out of your chest? Or are they only on the surface? I didn't get to check that before." Ford reached forward and felt William's eye staring intently at his hand as it moved closer to her. Ford paused, remembering the rules they had agreed on. "Can I...touch?" He asked. William bit her lips and considered it. This was meant to be a joke but a small part of her couldn't help but...enjoy the feeling of Ford's eyes on her near naked form. With all her body image issues, it felt nice to see the positive interest in his eyes. He wasn't disgusted with her. This was a fact that still blew her mind, and made her feel all warm inside.

This was safe too. Ford had no interest in her body for any sort of sexual pleasure so she wouldn't have to worry about that. And he was nice, unlike that younger Ford she'd met so long ago. "Same rules apply. Touching is surface only. And if I say stop, you stop." Her ears wiggled, the only outward show of her nerves, because being touched while wearing 'clothes' was different from being touched naked. "Also, it's still a 'no' on needles."

Ford nodded. "Of course." He always felt so uncomfortable during his doctor's checkups as a child when his body was measured and inspected. It always made him feel...unnatural when the doctor simply took his hand to inspect. The doctor never told him what he was looking for, what he was writing down in his clipboard. It wasn't an experience he wanted to inflict on another. He placed his fingertips along the bricks jutting out of William's chest. She squeaked and Ford looked up to meet her eye. "What's wrong?"

"Your hands are cold!" William pouted. Ford laughed. "Sorry. It's a cold morning." It was winter now. The air was chilly and the leaves had almost all fallen from the trees. The snow hasn't started yet, but it was a matter of time. Ford blew on his hands and placed them behind his neck to try and warm them up. William shifted to sit on the edge of the table, her long, thin legs dangling over the side. Her legs were pressed together and her hands were folded in her lap.

"You know, even if you warm up your hands, they'll still feel cool." William pointed out as she reached out to take Ford's hands, wincing at how cold they felt. "Since my base temperature is higher than yours, heat transfer would always make you feel cooler than I am."

"True. But once I warm up it would feel less uncomfortable for you. I know that's true because you don't complain like this the other times I've touched you." Ford allowed William to take his hands, wrapping her long fingers around his and he sighed at how nice it felt. Like pressing his hands against a hot water bottle. William pressed Ford's hand to her cheek, smiling at him. "You need to get mittens or something. More fingers means more chances for frostbite. Imagine if you lose your fingers?"

Ford laughed lightly. "Well I forgot to grab my gloves. Though if it would make you feel better, I did hear Mabel was knitting mittens for everyone this year."

"Ooh~do you know if I would be getting a pair too?" William asked him, bouncing in place at the thought. It would be her first winter holidays with the Pines. Ford laughed. "I believe I overheard her agonizing over how to make one size fit all mittens since your hands change sizes."

William giggled. "Well I'm looking forward to what she comes up with." She trailed her fingers along Ford's palm. "Hm...try now." She let go and Ford moved his hands down to her brick covered chest. She hummed a little but otherwise didn't protest so his hands probably felt much nicer on her skin now. Ford pressed down on the bricks, noting their firm, smooth texture. Fascinating. He touched the 'skin' around the bricks and noted that aside from the unusual yellow color, it felt much like real human skin. Just much softer. The delightful softness that felt so delicate he worried about scratching it.

William panted softly with each caress. Especially when Ford traced her bricks. It sent tingles across her skin and she wasn't quite sure how she felt about it. She let out a soft sound when Ford began running his thumbs up and down to press from brick to skin and back, checking for the differences. "Mm…" she whined. It was...almost ticklish but not? She wasn't sure how to describe this sensation. Still, she tried to hold still as Ford's hands began pressing harder. "I'm going to pick at the edges, to see if these bricks are surface level only, or if they go much deeper."

"A-ah… just don't try to peel off my bricks okay? That hurts…"

Ford glanced up at that. "I remember, yes- I'll be careful." He told her firmly.

William shivered as Ford pressed his nail gently against the spot where brick became skin and scraped at it. Lightly, as if afraid of hurting her. It felt really weird and William whined. "Stop." Ford pulled his hands away. "Sorry. Did that hurt?" William rubbed at the spot where Ford had been scratching. "A little? No. It didn't hurt but it felt…" She tried to think of how to explain it. "Like when you're about to cough because your throat itches...but on my skin instead of in my throat."

Ford frowned. "That sounds very odd. I know you didn't like the feeling of it, but I'm curious as to why it feels like that for you." William knew what he was getting at. Ford wanted to try and deliberately cause that sensation again so he could try and see why William felt the sensation manifest in such a way. She pouted. Well...it DID feel a little uncomfortable but she couldn't deny being curious about it too.

"Fine. But if I say to stop we're not gonna try this again today." She finally agreed. Ford nodded and reached out to once again slide his nail along the edge of the bricks. William shifted in place and whimpered. That itchy feeling was growing. She couldn't hold still, crying out with each scrape of Ford's nail. "I...I don't think you should…" she managed to gasp before her bricks twitched and split open. Ford froze in surprise as William's chest opened up to reveal a gaping black maw, filled with teeth.

William moaned in relief and trembled, panting as the new mouth on her chest coughed. Three long tendrils came out, wiggling like a mix between a tongue and a tentacle. Ford stared. "So… I'm pretty sure you can eat from that, but do you breathe from there too? Is that why you don't have a nose?" William squeaked and covered her chest, trying to shove the tentacles back inside herself. "D-don't look at it!" She whimpered. She tried to turn away and hide this disgusting orifice. She was actually kind of self conscious about it. Ford placed a hand on her shoulder. "Why can't I look? It's amazing."

William turned back to look at him. Amazing? He thought her gross mouth was...amazing? She flushed. Most people found her extra mouths disgusting…

"Can I please see it?" Ford asked gently. William made a shy sound. "If...if you're sure you want to see it...it's really gross…"

"It's not gross. It's interesting . It's weird and different and I want to see how it works." Ford insisted. William wiggled a bit as she debated with herself. Finally, she took her hands away from her chest where the mouth was 'breathing' softly. The tentacle/tongues slipped back out from between the brick lips to wiggle bonelessly. Ford picked up one of the tongues first. "It's dry." He noted.

"I don't really have saliva. At most I can produce water sometimes, almost like drool but not quite. The mouth in my head makes more, so that I can taste things, but I have to secrete it manually." William explained as Ford gently pulled on the tongue to see how stretchy it was. He squeezed the dry but smooth appendage. "It...feels slick, even though there's no drool or slime." He said in wonder, stroking the tongue and marvelling over the lack of friction. William wiggled and made some grunting sounds. Ooh...it felt so weird when Ford stroked him (mentally flip-flopping between male and female with each stroke). Why were his tongues so sensitive? William decided it may have been because her tongues were filled with nerves of some kind. She gasped when Ford reached out to pull the edges of the mouth open. "F-Ford?!"

"How is this connected to the rest of you? Is there a stomach? There must be..." Ford asked as he widened the chest mouth some more ("A-ahhh~") so he could peer inside. William was moaning and shaking all over. "Ford! Le-let go!" She tugged at his hands, trying to get him off. "It feels too strange! Stop!"

Ford let go, the chest mouth snapping shut. The tongues had retreated back inside and Ford watched the bricks fold back into place neatly. There was no indication this section of bricks could turn into a mouth. William panted with a deep blush on her face. "N-no more. Don't touch my chest mouth anymore!"

"What's wrong William?" Ford asked, worried about her trembling. She shook her head. "I...felt...like I was going to split apart…" she patted her chest bricks. When Ford had tried to pull her open and look inside her...for a second...she'd nearly been overcome with the desire to eat him. Pull him inside with her tongues and swallow him whole. She panted in both relief and stress from holding back her instincts. Anymore than that...if Ford had pulled her mouth any wider she wouldn't have been able to hold back. She would have eaten Ford. How awful. Awful because even now she could feel her teeth itching to bite down on him. Bite down and tear him apart. Chew him up. Eat him.

William shook her head. Stupid demon urges. They were always much more prominent in her Bill or William forms. At least when she was Xin, Jan or Miz, the fact that her bodies were physically a different species would dampen the instances from her more demonic forms. She was an eldritch horror that devoured everything. She ate/destroyed her homeworld and she'd eaten other planets too. Putting something so delicious looking so close to one of her mouths only made her hungry. She shook her head again. Nope. Not happening. Not with Ford.

She also made a note to keep this information away from him. She didn't want him to be afraid and disgusted with her if he knew just how close she'd come to killing and eating him. She felt Ford pat her head and she nuzzled into his palm. Ah...headpats always made her feel better. She rumbled as Ford scratched at her scalp, brushing carefully through her golden hair. "So, no touching your chest?" Ford asked. William nodded. "My open chest is gonna be a look but no touch area while I'm in this form." she confirmed and clarified. "Touching normally is fine, but not when my mouth is open."

The man seemed a bit disappointed but nodded anyway, he didn't want to break William's trust. No matter which form she was in. William let a sly smile spread across her face. "Though~ If you really like touching my 'chest' so much~that hasn't been decided yet for my other forms~" she couldn't help but tease.

Ford sputtered and tried to change the subject, he looked down at the rest of William's body. "So...lingerie huh?" He blushed a little but William's body didn't have anything resembling human sexual characteristics so it wasn't as embarrassing to look at as Xin's more voluptuous form was. And yet… something about the outfit made it all seem a little more erotic.

William shrugged. "Me and Pyronica were shopping and I just HAD to get this." She tugged at one of the silk-like straps. "Isn't it pretty though?" She looked up at Ford, eagerly awaiting his critique while the man froze. Should he go for honest or…?

"It looks nice on you." He said at last, going for something more neutral. It was fine, he supposed, but he thought that maid dress William wore all those years ago was much cuter. Lingerie was… well, it didn't really match her. William was much too cute for 'sexy' clothing, in his opinion. William rolled her eye. "I know you don't actually think it looks good." She deadpanned. Ford winced, "I'm sorry. It's very nice, but I think something cute with a fluttery-ness to it, looks better on you." She poked Ford's nose. "Ok, I can concede that point. But I'm still gonna wear this. Maybe I should show this to Stan or Seb. Wonder what they would think…" Seb would definitely know what to say and she knew that, due to Stan's nature, he was going to like it as well. Whether or not the two would ALSO be embarrassed as fuck was a different story.

"Did you come just to show off your new underwear?" Ford groaned. William shook her head. "I was actually hoping for another session. But if you're busy…"

"It's fine. I was actually going to ask you for help with something." Ford smiled. "So if we had another session, would you like to hang around the lab and assist me afterward?"

William smiled. "Ok." Within a few minutes, Ford had pinned William to the table, grunting with effort as William fought back much more efficiently. All her sessions as Xin had taught her how to break his holds and grapples so Ford would need to start getting creative to keep the upper hand in these play fights they had.

As William managed to twist out of his grip once again, Ford sighed. "You're getting too good at this." William laughed as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Their most recent exchange had consisted of William attempting to turn the grapple hold back on Ford and pin HIM down instead. Her ears wiggled with her excitement at their little game. Numerous bruises decorated her pale yellow skin. Ford noted that since her blood was black in this form, the bruises stood out more starkly. He wasn't sure how to feel about the bruising. He would have to practice more, so he could grapple her without injury. Even if she didn't mind them, he did.

"Maybe you're just losing your touch~" William teased. Ford narrowed his eyes in competitive determination. "Oh really? Well...what if I do...THIS?" He heaved William away from the table and spun the smaller woman before dropping her back onto the table, easily gripping her thin wrists together with one hand while grabbing at her ankles with the other.

"Ah!" William cried out, if Ford hadn't been so oblivious to this sort of thing, he might have realized her cry was more pleased than pained. He quickly pulled William's arms and legs together and looked around for something to hogtie her with. As she writhed on the table, Ford looked around for that rope he'd invented just for this. When he finally found a roll of it (there were practical applications for this invention besides JUST tying down Bill Cipher), the door to his lab opened as Fiddleford bounced inside.

"Sorry I'm late, Stanford, I nearly fergot 'bout my shoes this mornin'!" He chuckled. He still had a few memory problems, luckily he was getting a lot better. "So what were we…" The man trailed off as his eyes widened. Ford turned to his old friend. "Ah. Fiddleford! No worry, I actually forgot you were dropping by to help me out today." He was wrapping the rope around William's arms and legs, pulling tight and making sure it would be more difficult to break out of the uncomfortable position. "Oooh~" William moaned pleasantly. She wiggled, rubbing her cheek along the table. "Tighter please~" she begged breathlessly. Being bound was only scary if she couldn't break out, but she could easily tear this if she actually wanted, so she felt safe enough to just enjoy it.

Ford did as she asked and pulled at the rope. Her moans came out louder and while Ford had long since learned to tune out the pleasure in her tone, Fiddleford didn't have that experience. Fiddleford blinked in shock at the half naked creature Ford was tying up. He blushed a bit at the lingerie and their pleased moans. What was happening right now?! "A-am I interrupting somethin'?" Fiddleford took a step back. Ford smiled at him, perfectly at ease while those sweet sounds continued to come from the tied up creature. "No. Not at all. I was just having another session with my friend here." He gave William's leg a little slap, she enjoyed that for some reason. She cried out again, arching up on the table.

"A-ah~"

"And no, I'm not having kinky sex. If that's what you were thinking." Ford explained. In case that was the issue here.

Fiddleford looked behind him and then at Ford. He-He was kidding right? What the heck was he doing?! He had a moaning cyclops in lingerie tied up on his desk! It should surely mean what he was thinking! Right?! "I…" his voice cracked and the poor man blushed bright red when the Cyclops moaned out "Fordsie~don't stop yet~ You...promised at LEAST a half hour…"

Sweet banjo polish, they've been at this for nearly half an hour?!

"Oh, I can surely make it last longer than that!" Ford grinned and looked at his friend. "Can we work on the updated gravity battery next week?" He asked innocently. Fiddleford nodded. "R-right...well...I can just…"

Ford blinked, then smacked himself in the face. "Right, I haven't introduced you. This is William, she's one of Xin's other forms." That made Fiddleford blink slowly and relax. Oh. Okay then. "But why are you two doing this right now?" Fiddleford deadpanned. Ford blinked. "Oh. Right, ah… I keep forgetting that people think what we're doing is sexual…" he groaned. ("It's HILARIOUS!" was William's cheerful addition.) "The only reason I haven't stopped you from continuing this prank of yours is because no one's actually treating me any different for it, and it's relatively harmless." Ford rolled his eyes. "Anyway," he turned back to address Fiddleford. "We are not having kinky sex. William wanted to get more comfortable with being bound without being afraid, so I've been helping her with that in a safe environment where she knows she's not in any real danger. So she'd be more level headed if such a thing were to happen for real, and not panic, so she'd be able to get herself out of such a situation without hurting anyone."

Fiddleford relaxed. Well, once it was explained, it made perfect sense. But… "You do realize she's getting off on it?" Fiddleford deadpanned. Ford blinked, turned back to William. "...are you?" he asked rather incredulously.

"...a little?" William admitted, still rather flushed. "But only because it's you who's doing this with me." And Ford wasn't really sure how to react to that. "Oh. Um. Well. I'm… glad you're enjoying it?" he said slowly. He wasn't really against the idea of William 'enjoying' this. Since it didn't really involve anything he was uncomfortable with doing. But it was really… weird.

Fiddleford sighed. "Be that as it may… I am uncomfortable with working with Ford while you're… like that." He still couldn't really look directly at her. William nodded, "Alright, hang on." and she easily unravelled the ropes and sat up. Then she flicked her fingers to materialize a lab coat and cute singular glasses on herself. "Ok! Science time!" She cheered. "Lab assistant William, ready for action!" Fiddleford chuckled. If William was Xin, and Xin was a Bill Cipher from another dimension, then she was much too intelligent to be a lab assistant, but she seemed to be enjoying herself so he didn't point that out.

Ford smiled, glad this was settled. They went back to work, William pointing out the corrections but mainly just watching them work. When Fiddleford asked about why she wasn't doing more, Ford rolled his eyes "She likes to see us figure it out for ourselves. She'll give hints but otherwise, we're on our own."

"Watching humans think is incredibly adorable!" William smiled. "I remember when I gave the twins a puzzle and they had to figure out how to put the 35 pieces together by themselves! It was so cute!"

"Are you comparing us building an incredibly complex nearly-perpetual motion machine to children solving a puzzle?" Fiddleford raised an eyebrow but William smiled even more. "Yup!" It was almost the same anyway, she thought to herself. "Or like when I taught humanity how to harness fire! That was great. They learned how to build a fire and the rest were easily figured out on their own." She sighed at the nostalgic memories. Ford stared at her. "You...taught your humanity how to use fire?"

She nodded, not noticing his awed look "To be fair, they'd already figured out that fire was useful. But they originally got fire from natural bushfires that happen during hot, dry days, or lightning strikes that cause fires. I simply taught them how to make their own fire with wood, friction and intent."

"That's incredible!" Ford laughed, amazed and pulled his friend's arm. "Did you hear that?" Fiddleford nodded. "So you've been observing humanity since the beginning?" At her nod, Fiddleford asked, "And you're another Bill Cipher?" another nod, "But you've got no interest in the destruction of humanity and such?" Fiddleford was pretty sure of this point, by now, with how long Xin's stuck around them and the whole 'creating a hidden island where the children could live safe' thing. But he wanted to hear it from her directly.

William grinned. "Of course not! If any of you humans died, who would make those shows I want to watch?" The two men shared a look. Ford was grinning and Fiddleford was deadpanning. His friend must be really in love…he was actually a little happy for him, even if his partner was...Bill Cipher in a nicer version. (Well, apparently Ford had a 'type'.) William sat down behind them and the two continued working on the machine, absentmindedly asking each other about their lives and families, how they were doing since last they talked about them. And then the conversation shifted to William.

"May I ask why you are a...she?" Fiddleford asked awkwardly, unsure if this was a rude question. But her name was William, she didn't change it when she went female?

"Well, I'm a hermaphrodite and I identify as both male and female, I just switch between them depending on my mood. I've found that the humans here see females as the less dangerous option for some silly reason. I'm making identification for all my different forms so I can do more. I'm already listed as Seb and Wanda's daughter, most of the time, and he seems to love to have me as a little sister. Fordsie doesn't mind either way."

Fiddleford looked at Ford who adjusted his glasses and nodded. Alright, alright...He thought he got it. "So… Miz and Xin… are the same person. And they're also you." another nod. Fiddleford sighed. This was rather complex, what was Ford getting himself into.

"So why's yer name William? Ain't that a boy's name?"

William rolled her eye. "Why do you humans make such a big deal out of gender divisions anyway?" She felt as confused (and frustrated) as Seb did, even after he's been living so long inside human society and dealing with its silly roles.

Fiddleford shrugged. "I just heard that most folks change their names when they change out if they're male or female."

William nodded. "I already do that. Xin's a boy. And Jan's a boy. Miz and Yun are their female counterparts. But William is still William no matter if I'm a boy or girl." she shrugged. "Zach wanted to change his name to something masculine but that's due to his own preference." she placed a hand on her chest "Me though, I have different names for different forms I'm wearing. Bill, Miz, Xin, Jan, Yun and William. Most of those names are pretty much short, simple and easy to remember. That was more important to me than what gender those names conformed to. It just makes more sense to me."

"Alright, I'll make sure I remember that." Fiddleford said. Ford patted his shoulder in gratitude for understanding.

Ford raised an eyebrow at William. "So you've got any more forms that I haven't seen yet?" The cyclops shrugged. "As I've said, Miz and Xin are the most human looking forms I have so I normally use them. My true form as Bill and this one as William are comfortable for me to wear. Jan and Yun are just for fun. And there are a bunch of miscellaneous forms that you haven't seen."

Speaking of, William took a few steps back and shifted into Jan, his clothes changing to accommodate the different body shape.

"Well...it's got 4 arms, so there's that…" Jan commented, his clothes shifting again into his usual belly dancer outfit since a lab coat really detracted from seeing Jan-Jan's full appearance. He looked up and flicked his hair. "It's not THAT weird right?"

"...it's very attractive." Fiddleford noted. Jan nodded, "Of course!"

"It's just as amazing as last time!" Ford smiled, staring at one of Jan's dark-skinned arms. He gently trailed one of his hands along the black patterns. "You really like this form that much?" Jan asked with a roll of his eyes and the brunet nodded excitedly. "I find it quite fascinating that you can make forms that look different despite being face blind." Ford commented as Jan shifted into Yun, his/her form filling out with delicate curves. She blinked as she tugged on the shirt over her chest, which now had the distinct (if slight) swell of breasts. "Well I know WHAT faces look like. I just...have trouble explaining them. Or connecting them to names. Or telling apart people if they have the same sort of outline to each other. It's like looking at a photo of someone upside down and trying to figure out who they are I guess?"

"Fascinating. What do you think F?" Ford turned to Fiddleford who was blushing profusely and averting his eyes. "Ah, yes. Very interesting...um...can you put on the labcoat again?" Yun shrugged and did so, adjusting the labcoat to accommodate 4 arms. "You are really picky about clothing choices." She grumbled.

"Yeah, F, I think those clothes were very fitting for Jan's...sorry, Yun's body." Ford shrugged. Yun smiled at the compliment and hugged Ford's arm with a pair of arms. Fiddleford mumbled under his breath . 'Too fitting to be exact…' She definitely made herself attractive on purpose.

The three went back to work but Fiddleford found himself distracted by Yun essentially looking the part of the sexy lab assistant, with her form fitting lab coat, glasses and that cute way she tilted her head when she inspected their work. Not to mention the way she leaned against the lab bench like…

Fiddleford slapped himself. He was married for God's sake! He glanced over at Ford who seemed perfectly at ease. How did he manage to maintain his composure like this? Fiddleford couldn't help but request "Can you turn back into a boy? Or something less...distractin'?"

"How is Yun distracting you, F?" Ford asked, not even raising his head from his notes. "She isn't making noise this time? I don't find anything wrong with her clothes either? And I'm not even distracted with those hypnotic swirls on her skin this time." He hummed "Okay, well, I am a little distracted. Aside from the scientific interest in knowing how a humanoid form with 4 arms worked, I notice her arms are slightly thinner than what a human of her comparable size would be. Not by much but…"

Ford continued to ramble as Fiddleford gaped at him. Did he not notice the obvious problem here? Yun was gorgeous (and that had to be some sort of magical effect to make her seem so, it couldn't possibly be natural) and even the lab coat couldn't hide that fact. How much self control did Stanford have? Fiddleford shook his head. You know what? It was fine. He would prove to himself he was loyal to his wife by NOT being distracted! Yeah! "Nevermind Ford, I'm fine. Let's continue working."

They went on and Fiddleford, to his relief, found that once he stopped caring so much about what she looked like, Yun was actually quite nice to talk to. Her suggestions and insight were intellectually stimulating and he found himself begrudgingly understanding what had Ford so enamoured by Bill Cipher. Crazy demon that he was, if Yun's intelligence was anywhere close to his, he would understand why Ford loved talking to the triangle. It felt so nice to have someone around who understood so much of what they were doing, who understood MORE than they did. Rather humbling to think about.

They worked and scienced for hours, the two men listening and learning everything they could from Yun, until the girl declared she was hungry. Ford blinked and looked at the clock on the wall. Huh. He didn't realize they had been working for so long...

"Alright, I guess we can go to the house and find something…" Ford mumbled. Did he remember to buy something? Soos and Melody had their own food in the shared fridge, but Ford didn't want to take their stuff. "No…" Yun whined. "I don't want boring food from the Shack!" She hummed until she smiled. "Oh! I got it! I wanna go to Greasy's Diner!" it had been SO long since she'd gone there with her big brother. "Seb never took me there! Pleaseee!" Her two pairs of arms put their hands together in a pleading gesture.

Stanford rolled his eyes. Going to the Diner would waste time they could spend working, but if it would make Yun happy… "Very well, we can go…" besides, they could still discuss their work while at the diner.

"Eh…" Fiddleford decided to intervene. "You can't go into town looking...like this!" He gestured to her arms. Yun rolled her eyes. "Don't you have that 'Nevermind all that' law? They should just nevermind me!" She had one pair folded under her chest and the other two on her hips.

"It means the town is very set on forgetting about weirdness." Fiddleford clarified. Yun pouted. "Well they should still just learn to not point out other people's body shapes!" She waved her hand to change into a different outfit. A large, poofy jacket with wide sleeves she could put both arms into. She adjusted the jacket with a frown. "There. Now they can't see it."

"It looks fine." Ford patted her head, smiling slightly at her upset pout. "Do you want to go now?" The incredibly poofy jacket looked quite ridiculous on her.

"YES!" Her expression changed immediately and she ran out of the lab. Fiddleford and Stanford shared a look before grabbing their jackets and following her out to the hallway. When Dr. Pines and Dr. McGucket came out of the room, following a skipping dark-skinned woman, the scientists trying to peek inside jumped out of the way, and started doing anything and looking at everything but the men.

"We will come back in an hour." Ford told one of them and the men nodded quickly. Many of them tried to get a better look at the girl. Her large hood fell back for an instant and it was like sparkles were filling their vision. The beautiful young woman giggled and the scientists all swooned. She was a stranger to most of them, but a couple had glimpsed her before around the boss. How did their boss know so many attractive people?! "Walk faster, Fordsie!" The girl demanded before walking through the main entrance of the research center. The blond and the brunet disappeared behind her.

The scientists looked at each other before running towards the break room to start gossiping. "Oh for Tesla!" Dr. Jerald sighed. "Did you see that girl?!" He waved his arms. "Why was she wearing such an ugly jacket? It didn't match her at all!"

"I just want to know who she is." Dr. Wexler said with a faint blush. She felt her heart flutter when that woman's sweet voice rang out. Dammit girl, no. You've already got a girlfriend!

Unknown to all the scientists, and even Yun herself, when they had originally created Jan's form he was merely a physical body but over the years and years of performing for the multiverse, being worshiped by his fans, Jan (and Yun by default) had become something much like a Divine Siren (a Diva, as they were known in some parts of the multiverse, and a Deva in others), whose voice and appearance would entrance any who looked upon them. Completely unintentionally. And the effect had been minor, but with Yun's delighted mood, and the thrumming power that practically seeped out of her from the concert Jan had back in his own 'set before coming over here, the effect had been temporarily super charged.) Only those who knew him personally could somewhat stave off the effects. Or in the case of Ford, be entirely oblivious to them. Yun happily ran through the town, gazing in wonder at the world around her, kicking at leaf piles and laughing with delight. She didn't really get to actually play around in the town much, spending most of her time in the forest or the Center. There were lots of pine trees that didn't drop all their leaves but enough other trees existed here to make huge leaf piles! She didn't notice the way she charmed everyone she ran past.

The chilly air hit the two men in the nose and they grumbled before stuffing their hands in their pockets and faces into their jackets. Even when Ford was wearing a turtleneck sweater, he still wished he took a scarf with him. "Why didn't we take yer car, Stanford?" Fiddleford complained. Ford shrugged. "Yun already ran off, not like I can make her walk all the way back to my car now." The two shivered when the chilly wind blew past them. Yun seemed to notice their discomfort and ran back to them. "Do you want to be less cold?" She asked. Ford responded "That would be nice." while Fiddleford nodded, without really thinking about it and then gasped when Yun held his hand. A warmth flooded Fiddleford's body and he gasped. It felt SO nice~ He turned to the girl, still wary but...she had come to help him, and had asked first and waited for him to agree before she did… whatever magic this was. "T-thank you."

"No problem. Stay close, I have trouble keeping up the heat effect without having to enchant your clothes and I don't know if you're comfortable with that." Yun told him before leaning over to snuggle against Ford's side. She had one hand holding Fiddleford and her other around Ford's.

The brown haired man didn't mind, didn't even notice actually, and continued walking. He was interested in this 'heat effect' though. It felt nice. He wondered how Yun did it. They eventually reached the Diner and Ford almost fell over when Yun pulled him with extraordinary strength for someone her size. "Come on!" she squealed as she dragged the men inside the establishment.

"Welcome to the Greasy's Diner-" The hostess trailed off and stared, slack jawed at the girl giving her the lovely smile. "Hi! A booth for three please!" She said in a sweet voice. The hostess blinked and shook her head, finally noticing Dr. Pines and McGucket standing behind her. "Ah, yes. Right this way." She led them to a booth seat and handed them a stack of menus. "Take your time, dears." The woman smiled at them and felt her heart flutter when the girl grinned back. "Thank you very much, ma'am!"

Yun sat down next to Ford and Fiddleford sat down in front of them. The girl grabbed a menu and hummed as she scanned the food. "I want pancakes! With ice cream! Can I please get that?" She looked at Ford, fluttering her eyelashes. She hadn't taken off her jacket so she looked like a poofy sheep, floofing against the sides of the booth. "And also the hashbrowns! And Corned beef hash! And an omelette! With mushrooms!" Ford laughed. He heard Seb complain about Miz's appetite constantly, but Ford found it adorable. "Anything else?" he teased.

"Hm...I want chocolate chips on my pancakes." Yun decided. "Are you sure that's safe?" Ford asked, which made Yun sigh. "Fiiine. Strawberries instead."

Fiddleford shook his head with a faint smile. These two were too cute together. He decided on a turkey sandwich and a cup of coffee for himself. The waitress came over, a faint blush on her cheeks and asked for their orders. Fiddleford gave her his and she wrote that down before looking over at Ford and Yun. "And you?"

"I'll just have a coffee please." Ford said before Yun tilted her head. "Are you sure just coffee is enough? You missed breakfast this morning." Ford blinked. Of course Yun knew about that. Ford thought about it, then turned to the waitress and said, "And a spinach omelette too, please." Ford had been too excited to get to work this morning, hadn't even realized he was hungry until Yun brought it up.

Fiddleford grinned. He had often told Ford to take better care of himself. Ever since he started therapy with Ashton, he did much better. Ford never overcame his food or workaholic bad habits though. He was glad this Bill was also looking out for him. The waitress smiled as well, guessing Dr. Pines had finally found himself a good girl to take care of him. About time. The man had been a bachelor for far too long...although poor Susan would be disappointed to find out her crush had finally started seeing someone. She had the vague idea they had a date but… Dr. Pines had jumped out of the window?

The waitress shook her head and revised her notes "Are ya sure you can eat all of that, sweetie?"

Yun nodded. "We've been working all day and I'm hungry!" She pouted. "I missed breakfast two." she said, with a twitch of her lips at the Homophone. She ate breakfast. But she missed 2nd breakfast. Which also counted as breakfast.

"Aaaww~" The woman cooed at her sad expression. "Don't worry, I'll make sure they prepare everything as soon as possible." She squealed internally when the girl gave her a grateful smile. "Thank you!" the pretty girl said. The waitress nodded, trying to ignore the heat on her cheeks, and walked away.

"Man, this place looks awesome! Look, the Manliness Tester that Dipper used! It's still here!" She gasped, pointing at the machine. She didn't get to play with that last time, in the other dimension. Ford frowned when he looked at the game. He guessed that happened when Stan and him weren't back yet. How did Yun know about it? He was about to ask but she slipped out of the booth and sauntered over to the machine, subtly altering her vessel's parameters as she went. "Hey Fordsie, want free pancakes?"

Ford raised an eyebrow. What did she mean by-

WHUMP!

Yun slammed a fist into the machine and it blared loudly as the bar rose to the very top. After Manly Dan broke the control the last time he was here, they replaced the squeeze handle with a pillow sensor you had to punch. They thought it would prevent the machine from breaking. They thought wrong. Yun blinked sheepishly as the machine whined and fell apart. "Oops."

There was silence in the diner before Manly Dan stood up and walked over to Yun, his large form towering over her. "You…" he said roughly. Yun blinked at him innocently. Ford stood up and got ready to step between them, in case something happened.

Manly Dan got down on one knee. "Marry me."

"EH?!" Yun cried as she flushed. Ford slipped and nearly fell over. Manly Dan stared down at Yun, even on his knee, he was still much taller than her. "When mah wife died, I swore to myself I would never marry again unless it was to a woman who could beat mah record."

"EH?!" Yun continued to squeak as Dan gently took one of her hands. "Ah...um...F-Fordsie?! Help?"

Ford froze to his seat.

Fiddleford kicked Ford's leg. "Go do something, you dumb fool!" He hissed. Why was Ford doing nothing when someone propositioned his partner?! Ford shakily stood up and marched towards the huge red-headed man. "HEY!" Manly Dan turned to look at the scientist with a growl. Every other customer also turned to stare in shock at Sebastian's brother. "What's the problem Mr. Pines?" Dan asked. Ford frowned. "It's Doctor. Dr. Pines." He adjusted his glasses. He had 12 PHD's. He deserved that title. "I believe Yun is uncomfortable with the sudden proposal." As was Ford, but he wasn't going to say that.

"Fordsie…" Yun sighed in relief. Then she turned to Dan, feeling a little less afraid with Ford nearby. "Listen, Dan, I-I thank you for the offer but I am NOT interested… I'm sorry but I'll have to decline."

"But...but you beat my record!" Dan cried. Yun shook her head. "I don't really know you, and anyway, free pancakes for everyone!" She stepped around Dan and tried to get back to the booth. Dan protested and grabbed at her jacket. "Wait. Can we be friends at least?!" He tugged a bit harder than he meant to and Yun yelped when her jacket tore open and everyone gasped at the extra arms.

Oh fuck . Ford and Fiddleford grimaced. The townsfolk gaped in shock at the petrified girl, and then, in an extraordinary obedience to their law, slowly turned around and muttered "Never mind all that…"

Dan blinked at Yun's extra arms before grinning. "So...do you lift? You don't look it."

Yun facepalmed. "Friends is ok, but it'll never be anything more. You're very sweet, but I'm kinda already with someone right now." Dan looked over at Ford who was standing there stupidly with his mouth open. "What do ya see in a nerd like that?" He grumbled without any real malice. Dan was a kind man and if a girl said 'no' then she meant 'no'. He felt bad about ripping her jacket. He sometimes forgot his own strength.

Yun looked at the man with glasses and laughed. If she was honest, she just liked nerds. She just so happened to have chosen an oblivious one. But she liked him. Especially since this Ford obviously wasn't interested in anything sexual. "Eh, his hair is all fluffy and I like his chin dimple. But he's also really kind to me. He makes me happy." She smiled. All Pines were handsome as hell though. "And if I wasn't here to keep that dummy in line, he's bound to think coffee for each meal is a good idea."

(Ford didn't hear all this, as Dan's bulk was blocking Yun from his view. He was still uncomfortable with how the other man had just outright proposed to Yun- he didn't even know her! Ford wasn't- he wasn't saying that he got to decide who Yun wanted to go with- but… well… she was clearly uncomfortable with Dan's advance.)

Fiddleford hit him. "Ow." Ford complained. "Now this is your chance!"

"Uh?"

"You like Yun! Tell her . You still haven't told her yet, have you?" Ford's face turned dark red and he quickly shook his head. Nope! "Yun's just my friend… I-it wouldn't-" Fiddleford sighed. "Ford, it's clear ta anyone looking at you two that you're wild for each other. And you've pretty much all but admitted it outright. Why haven't you told her yet?"

"It's not going to work-" Ford said softly, then Fiddleford poked him, "Ow!" "Tell her!" This time Fiddleford slapped Ford with a napkin."Hey! Quit that!" Fiddleford didn't let go of the napkin. "You frickity dumbass! What do you mean it's not gonna work? I mean, yeah, she's a demon, but aren't ya happy together?"

"Well, I guess but-oww!" "Ya dated a frickin siren that tried eatin' ya! THIS is an improvement!"

Back on the other side of the diner, Dan sighed and nodded. He picked up the jacket and handed it to the girl. "I apologize for this." Yun smiled brightly and patted his huge muscled arm. "Don't worry, man, it's ok!" She considered it a bit. "Have you tried going to the National Arm wrestling championships? They have a women's division?" She materialized a small card with the information about the event behind her back before handing it to him. Maybe he could try his luck there.

Manly Dan took the tiny paper from her hand and his eyes lit up. "I WILL! Thank you!" He left the Diner with a smile. Yun smiled at the huge man and returned to the booth with Ford and Fiddleford, who were hitting each other. "Stop hitting me, Stanford!" "Stop hitting ME then!"

Yun came back over and the two quieted, Yun laughed nervously. "So, ah… that happened." she rubbed her arms, looking down at the table and glancing at Ford now and then. He was glaring at Fiddleford. Yun looked back and forth between the two. "Um…?" Fiddleford kicked Ford under the table and gestured at Yun. Ford shrank in on himself.

"Hey Yun. What would ya say to someone who's been crazy for you for a while now-" "F, wait!" "-but it's too much of an idiot to do anything 'bout it?"

Yun frowned a bit. "Um...do I know them?"

"Oh yes, you spend a lot of time together sciencing, taking care of each other and making each other very happy." Fiddleford patted Ford's head. Yun's blue eyes widened a little.

"This someone also thinks you're the best. Thinks your forms are very cute, thinks you're intelligent and sweet and appreciates your company, would LOVE sciencing with you every day." Fiddleford listed.

Ford's face couldn't be redder. "...I said her forms are fascinating…"

Yun blinked (blushing a little from the compliments, second hand as they were), almost wanting to believe- but that wasn't possible that Fiddleford meant it in the way she thought it was. "O-oh…" She twirled a lock of her hair nervously. "I mean, yeah, I know that. I'm awesome after all. That's what Linda says I need to keep saying." Yun/Jan and Xin were awesome. That was how it worked. Even if Miz/Bill/William weren't. (She felt a twinge of depression come on and pushed past it. No, be happy. Maybe if she was happy, her brother would…) Fiddleford kicked Ford again.

"My friend~" He leaned closer to Yun to 'whisper' but he stole spoke loudly "Reaaaally likes you. His name starts with S and finishes in -anford. Pines. S- and then -tanford Pines. Please, I'll pull my hair out if you two continue doing this to me." The blond pleaded. Yun blinked slowly. "Um, yeah. Fordsie's my friend, of course he likes me." Fiddleford turned slowly to face Ford, his eye twitching. "If you don't just tell her, I'm going to eat your glasses." Fiddleford threatened.

"What? You'd choke." Ford deadpanned. But Fiddleford just kicked him again. Ford slapped his arm. "I can't- there's no point-" in confessing, just to have Yun turn him down like she did Dan. Because Yun wasn't interested in 'dating', why would she be?

He waved a mental hand. And he already tried the dating thing, and he failed. He wasn't good at it so there was no point in trying it with Yun, disappointing her, and having Yun leave him for that! What if she was so disappointed and put off by his pathetic attempts at romance that she gets all awkward around him?

Fiddleford started slamming his head against the table. He stood up and walked to a random table where a family with a young teen were eating. "I'll give you a hundred dollars if you tell that lady something."

"COOL!" the kid grinned. Easy money! And he'd get to talk to the pretty lady? Fiddleford told him what to say, and the boy strode towards them with a written napkin, with his parents gaping. "Hey, so Miss Yun, Dr. Stanford likes you and wants to be your boyfriend because he thinks you're amazing but he's an...an owl (?) and won't say it because he's too shy." The kid shrugged and went back to his seat. Fiddleford slammed the money on his table for him and strode back to his own table smugly, when Yun FINALLY gasped and stared at Ford who was trying to disappear into sweater town.

"...this… isn't a joke, is it?" Yun said, glaring at Fiddleford. "If you're pranking me- this sort of thing isn't funny."

"No joke, no prank. That idiot is clearly head over heels for you." Fiddleford patted Ford's shoulder. "And I'm done with him being such a dumbass so I said it for him. So, what do you say to that?" Fiddleford asked.

And Yun looked over at Ford, who looked resigned and withdrawn. "...I want to hear him say it." she said softly. "Because I think I want him to be my partner too, but I don't know if such a thing's possible. I was quite sure he wasn't interested in me romantically."

Ford poked his head out of his sweater with his eyes wide. "...You'd...want to be…?" He rubbed his neck.

Yun blushed faintly. "Well, I like you. Emotionally, aesthetically, and… um, well…" She played with a lock of her hair nervously. "B-but I'm… really high maintenance. Like, I'm so much trouble, I doubt anyone could really handle me…" she looked away. "So… I didn't bother asking, didn't… want to put that on you. Too much work, for you and…" she shrugged.

"I...I like you too...Erm, I mean, yeah, I think you're intelligent and just...being with you is fun...And your forms are very unique and I like them all...I...I don't think you're trouble, I've never seen it that way…" He rubbed his arm.

Fiddleford leaned back. "Besides, you two spend so much time together already and you watch out for, and care for each other already. You'd just make it official." He waved a smug hand. And Yun gave Ford a shy look. "Are you really sure you want to date me?" she asked quietly. "E-even though I'm not human, and I'm awful and I'm also horny half the time?" (Fiddleford choked at that.)

Ford paused at the 'horny' part, but shook it off. "Yes. I… I really like you. And I want to get to know everything about you- erm, within reason. You're hundreds of billions of years old, there's no feasible way for me to know all of you without having my brain explode, but you get what I mean?"

Yun giggled. "Yes. I get it."

The two smiled at each other and Yun shyly reached to hold his hand and Fiddleford sighed with so much relief. Finally. No more pain. No more bets from the gang. "Hey, congrats! You big boy! Doing it all by himself!" F playfully ruffled Ford's hair, making him chuckle. "Ok, ok! Thank you, F…"

Yun hugged Glasses then. "I'll help with any crazy robots you want! And give you subspaces to add your raccoons!" She squealed, she was so happy! Fiddleford's eyes widened and Ford quickly shot down, "Nope. You can help him with a couple, but not whichever ones he wants. That's too much."

Yun leaned towards Fiddleford "...subspaces~" before giggling and clinging to Ford for a hug, wrapping her 4 arms around him. "Well, I've never dated before, so this'll be a new experience! Don't worry about giving me gifts of flowers, jewelry or kissing in the dark of a movie theater dates, I don't need most of the stuff that people seem to think dating is about." Ford took a deep breath of relief and hugged her back. "That's good, because I'm terrible at romance." This was fine...This was going to be fine. This was Yun. And nothing changed. They were just… dating now. Yup. That's a thing.

….

…..

…..Ford had no idea what the fuck he was doing.

They finished their food and left the Diner, Yun left a generous tip. She was prancing around, looking at the town, seeing how it changed and hadn't changed in the time since. She also demanded Ford to give her a piggyback ride. He agreed to it, so she was cashing in on all her high maintenance needs. It wasn't half bad though. She had demanded more off him while being friends. Ford rolled his eyes fondly and let her climb onto his back. This was a good workout anyway.

As they walked through the town, Yun pouted, growing bored despite her enjoyment of the town and grinned mischievously. With one of her lower arms, she poked Ford on his side. He made a strangled noise. "Yun!" He cried. She giggled. "Sorry, couldn't help myself." She looked down again as Ford grumbled annoyed and embarrassed at his ticklishness. Stanley and Shermie had always taken advantage of him by- "Poke!" The young woman tickled his side again.

Ford nearly fell over. "Stop that!" He cried. "I WILL drop you!"

"You wouldn't dare." Yun challenged.

Ford grinned. His hands started to let go of her legs. "Oops! What have you done, Yun? You suddenly feel more slippery! I think I am losing my grip!" He laughed before choking when all four arms wrapped around him tightly. "Gahck!"

" If you drop me Stanford Filbrick Pines, I swear I will turn you inside out. " Yun hissed.

Ford gulped and adjusted his grip once again. "Hey, look at that, you're back to normal…" He joked. Yun's arms were still around his neck but he wasn't choking anymore. "Can you let go of my neck now?"

"Nope~ It's to remind you not to drop me!" Yun said cheerfully. Ford rolled his eyes. Even if she was a nice Bill Cipher, she was still a Bill Cipher. Was he insane for liking a demon god? He preferred putting it like he had very high standa-

No, who was he kidding? He had gone insane, dating the cryptid who just transformed him into a dragon months ago… and a woman before that. And wanted to turn him into a giant for some reason. (She just like transforming him, didn't she? Was that her 'thing'? Ford didn't really mind, but it was a little annoying.)

He wanted to do it right though. He knew Yun enough to actually know she was pleased easily (despite her claims of being high maintenance), but...he didn't want to hurt or offend her accidentally with his lack of experience. He really needed to talk to Stanley. And Sebastian. They must have some advice for him. For the whole… dating thing.

Yun stayed to help Ford with a few minor projects, falling asleep on his workbench at one point, to Ford's confusion. She woke up a few hours later and told Ford that she had to leave. "The twins will be home from school soon." She explained. Ford nodded. "Right, it was nice working with you today." He wasn't sure what to do now. What did one do to say farewell to their partner? Yun, thankfully, made the decision for him, she gave him a soft hug and shyly kissed his chin. "I'll see you next week then?" She asked.

"See you next week!" Ford nodded and smiled a bit. The woman waved before she disappeared.

Ford waited a few minutes before immediately getting on his phone and calling Stanley. He rested his cheek on the desk as he waited. The phone rang for a while before finally picking up to Stan's gruff voice shouting, "DIEGO! You said you did your homework!" Ford almost jumped. "I forgot! My football practice was much better anyway!" Diego complained.

"-URGH YOU LITTLE-"

"Stanley?" Ford tried. "Did I call in a bad moment?" The other voice stopped, he heard Stan saying "This isn't over-" and addressed him. "Hey! What's the word, Sixer! Don't worry, it's just Diego being a little shit sometimes."

"Hello, Stanley...why is that?" Ford asked politely. Learning about his family and how they were. See? He was a good brother. "Cuz despite being a huge nerd like you, he's incredibly intelligent but he just doesn't want to do what we tell him and he never does his homework! The teacher called us today…"

"Hm, I wonder why he's such a free spirit…" Ford joked and Stan made an offended sound. "Well...anyway...how are you, why did you call?"

Ford hesitated before taking a deep breath. "So...William and I are dating now!" He couldn't say 'Miz' since she was…. Well, no. Ford couldn't say he was dating Miz.

"Yeah? What's up?" Stan asked. He already knew Ford was dating the triangle. Still super weird to think about but, she was a nice girl, boy, chaos demon god, whatever, and Stan hoped they were happy together. He heard Ford make a whimpering sound. "How do I talk to a woman without offending her?"

Stan groaned and rubbed his face. "Did you piss 'em off?" Ford immediately denied it. "No? I don't think so? But she did threaten to turn me inside out if I dropped her." Stan twitched, a little worried about his brother's safety. "Dropped...as in?" He really hoped Ford wasn't talking about 'dropped' as in 'breaking up' because if so...yeesh, he had no idea how to handle that. He didn't think attempting to break up with a demon god was going to end well for any of the people involved.

"Well, I was giving her a piggyback ride and joked about dropping her." Ford said sheepishly. "I think she thought I was being serious."

Stan gave a loud relieved sigh. "Ok. That is way better than I thought…" He nodded. Also, Stanford giving Miz piggyback rides? That was cute, weird, but cute. "I think she was joking too? I don't think she would actually do that, she loves us! But she likes you even more so I can bet my money she was joking and didn't get angry for real."

"Ah. I see. This is great news." Ford wrote this down in a new notebook. "Well...what does one generally do when they date someone?"

"Why're you askin' me? You and Bill have been together for months now." Stan grumbled into the phone.

"W-we have ?!" Ford gasped. Were they? Well...he thought back to the past months hanging out with Miz/Xin/Yun/William once a week. It sure felt longer. The lunches and dinners she sometimes cooked for him. The way she hung around his lab, lazily pointing out mistakes in his blueprints, the adventures they had in space...did that count as dating? He sat down heavily. Oh. OH. Oh...

"Poindexter?" Stan asked from the other side of the line.

Ford groaned and buried his head in his arms. "Sixer? Are you ok?" Stan asked, a little worried now.

"I...actually hadn't realized I was dating Yun until, well, we kinda asked each other today? Fiddleford helped...and a boy who called me and owl?" Why did people CONTINUE calling him that?!

"Oh God, you know what? It-It actually doesn't surprise me that much, Sixer. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you are fucking stupid!" Stan laughed loudly. "You have spent all these months with her and you didn't know?! HAHAHAHAHA! CARLA! CARLA COME! YOU HAVE TO HEAR THIS!"

"Stanley, stop!" Ford cried from the other side, blushing bright. "I'll never talk to you again if you tell her!"

Stan wiped a tear from his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself. "Alright...alright...I'm sorry, Sixer, it was just too funny!" Ford growled. "Why did you call again?" Stan snickered. He was so telling this to Carla when Ford hung up...

Ford grumbled into his phone. "Well I WAS going to ask you for advice on what to do when I'm dating someone but apparently I've already been doing it?" He wasn't sure why Miz/William/Yun (he needed to decide on a name to refer to them as, probably William) liked him. He had never really done anything romantic with her… that he knew of? He blinked. Now that he thought about it...dating William was probably for the best. Ford had no interest in the physical side of relationships. He knew what sexual intercourse was and found the idea unappealing.

And William wasn't into it either, which made him feel relieved. Win win! And he did find very how intelligent she was to be very attractive, and the vast knowledge she possessed. Though, she also said she was 'horny' and, to be fair, Ford wasn't going to hold that against her. One could be Ace and have a libido at the same time. And from Ford's experience, all it meant was that she wanted a very thorough 'petting', which was fine.

William was intelligent, engaging, helpful, fascinating and didn't demand for Ford to give her sexual gratification (Though she was very demanding for sensual petting and affection). Which Ford didn't mind, he found himself quite enjoying touching her. Not like that , of course- but- well- she was soft and warm and- Ford blushed. So dating her was… well… Ford had caught onto the idea of it, but hadn't said anything because he'd been afraid expressing this want for her wouldn't work out. But it seemed she was happy with the idea. And was probably going to use their new 'couple' status to get more touching out of him in the future.

Well, it was a good thing she liked being caressed, because Ford liked touching her. He was glad he wasn't on a video call with Stan.

"You know, Stanley? I-I think I'm good now…" Ford nodded. He should call Seb though, to ask him more about Miz/Yun/William and learn what NOT to do to avoid actually getting turned inside out. "Thank you!"

"Er, you're welcome? I guess?" Stan scratched the back of his neck. "Be a good boyfriend."

"Eh…? I will, I guess." Ford nodded, rubbing his warm face. "Oh, and maybe Diego needs something more challenging at school, I know he is quite clever, and that he was attending a more specialized school, but still, he could need more. I got bored at school too, try talking with the teachers or something."

"Oh...OH! You're a genius, Poindexter! Haha! You still have it! Thanks!" Stan hung up and Ford leaned back on his chair. Boyfriend...It was so weird. William was a girl half the time anyway so...Partner should be more than sufficient. He wondered if he should tell his mother about this.

The two had talked and he had finally told her he wasn't interested (but not opposed) in really settling down, but giving her...grandchildren wasn't something that would happen, on account of him being asexual. But...if he told her now (about dating, NOT the grandchildren thing. He might be curious about William's different forms and their reproductive abilities and all, but he had no intention to find that out on a personal level! Sure, Xin wanted babies, but wanting kids without the actual child-making itself was very different, and Ford was actually a little interested in seeing how that would work), she'd feel very happy that Ford had someone he was happy with...

Ma had more than enough grandchildren from his other brothers anyway! She could be satisfied with them! Stanford pinched his nose. He wouldn't mind helping William adopt kids (or… asexually reproduce? Like with Ammy?), and… maybe he'd help raise them? He wasn't sure entirely what dating her would entail. Ah, he should have sat her down to talk this out.

He dialed Sebastian to talk. He wanted to talk about anything but this right now! "Yellow? Why are you calling my Dad?" Zoe asked the stranger. Stanford sighed. "Greetings, Zoe, it's your Uncle Stanford."

"Uncle Sixer!" Zoe squealed and kept the phone floating next to her ear as she searched for what clothes she should wear tomorrow. Oh! She was definitely taking Zach's t-rex blue and green t-shirt tomorrow! "Why are you calling?"

"I...I wanted to know how you were! Yeah! Haha!" Ford said.

"OH! I'm fine! School is fun, except when it's not, bleh, but I love recess and we play lots of things there. A kid lost a baby tooth because she fell from the swings! It was so gross, blood was everywhere!" The girl laughed excitedly, not actually grossed out. "Is it true that if I lose a tooth, a magical fairy will come to give me money for it?! Everyone was saying that!"

Ford frowned. "The fey are not known to do so but if one does get into your house, it is dangerous. Never invite them in. The fey often kidnap children."

"Really? But mommy said the fairies are nice...I guess you know more though...you open monsters in your lab, no?"

"What?"

"Zoe! What are you doing with my phone?" Ford heard his brother coming closer. "It's uncle Sixer! I even said 'yellow' to him!" Zoe exclaimed proudly. "Haha! Classic, now go play somewhere else." Seb took the phone from his daughter and grinned. "HI, SIXER!"

"Hello? Sebastian?" Ford winced a little at the volume. "Is Miz there?" They had gotten used to calling them by their different names but whenever they weren't exactly sure which form the demon was currently in, they went to Miz as a default.

"Eh, I am not sure, wait. HAS SOMEONE SEEN MIZ?!" Seb shouted and Ford winced. Damn! Why was Seb always screaming?! "SHE'S WITH ME!" Zach screamed back. "SHE'S HELPING ME WITH HOMEWOORKK!" Even his kids were so loud Ford could hear them on the phone!

"THANK YOU!" Seb screamed and then addressed his brother. "Yeah, she's with Zachary." He asked teasingly. "I heard." Ford rubbed his ear. Seb laughed "Want to talk to her?

"No, I was just with her a while ago."

"Right, your weekly sessions. Geez Sixer, I don't know how you manage to keep up with her. Even Wanda and I don't go at it so often…and now that the twins are older..."

Ford blinked. Well, yes, with Wanda busy at her job he supposed it did make it difficult for Sebastian and her to go out on dates together. But hanging out with William was no trouble at all. They would wrestle for a bit, Ford got back into shape from all the exercise and then they would have a quiet day at the lab (until something exploded at least). He shook his head "It's not all that difficult. Once I learned how to use my longer reach to leverage my weight against hers, it was quite simple to subdue her."

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION!"

"Yeah! Let's go burn books and the internet!" Zoe popped out from behind the couch and Sebastian screamed. "Little pest, didn't I tell you to go bother someone else?" He growled playfully and the girl ran away, laughing. Half demon kids...

"So, did you just call me to tell me about your...rough techniques during your sessions, brother?"

"No, actually…" Ford wavered. "I simply wanted to inform you that William and I are officially dating now. Well, officially dating Yun. Have you met that identity of Miz's yet?"

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Wait. You've been together...for almost a year and you've only JUST started dating officially?" He groaned. "Seriously, Sixer?" And he thought Ford was slow, this was like...a snail!

"Yes. I am very aware."

Seb laughed loudly. Ford was an idiot. Ok. Moving on. "You said she showed you a new human form? Not Miz, Xin, Jan or William?" Seb looked at the couch and found the head of a beheaded doll. Fuck, his kids were even worse than him.

"Yes. She called her Yun, I've actually met her a few times before. Quite the amazing specimen. A female version of Jan, though the markings along her body are different."

"That's so cool, why hasn't she shown us that one yet?!" The man pouted. "I feel offended, Sixer, really offended, but I guess you have a little more right to see her various forms…" Seb pouted as he examined Zoe's doll head. Why was it bald?! "Was this new form cute? She always made her adult forms handsome to mess with people. I'm guessing a female adult form would be gorgeous."

"Well Jan is a masculine form, as you know, but he's still quite delicate. Very slender. Yun is female and much the same aside from having breasts and wider hips." Ford explained. "Actually, when I took Yun out to the diner for lunch, Manly Dan proposed to her and-" Seb was about to tease him with Susan, something like "Haha, that's your problem now!" when he finished hearing the rest. "WHAT?!" He shrieked. "PROPOSED?!"

"Yes. It was the oddest thing. That's when we made it official. Both of us felt…quite uncomfortable with the sudden proposal."

Seb's eye twitched. "Of course she was! If you had been official before, that wouldn't have happened!" He scolded in his 'dad voice'

"Yes." Ford rubbed his head sheepishly. "I know… though I don't want to seem possessive-"

"Possessive nothing , I can assure you, that Miz is ten times more possessive than you could ever be." Seb shook his head as he laid down on the couch. Sir Bedazzle jumped over him and curled up on his chest. "But seriously, can't believe you waited until someone tried to propose to her, to actually ask her out! How-how come I feel more of these-these lovey dovey human emotions than you?! Do you think that if someone proposed to MY wife I would have let them see the light of day ever again?!"

Ford pouted slightly. "I-I suppose not…" And he felt terrible during the exchange, quite an uncomfortable experience. "I just lack experience and information. Hadn't considered this since… ya know, the reunion and… Kathy…" Ford coughed. "And even then...I'd say I haven't done such a thing since high school."

"Dad, have you seen the head of my doll?" Zoe asked innocently. "Her punishment isn't ready yet." Seb threw the head and she caught it with her mind. "Dispose of a body correctly! I don't want more body parts around the house!" Seb scolded her.

He turned his attention back to Ford when Zoe left, ready to set some dolls on fire. "Well…" Seb had to admit that he hadn't considered it either since he stupidly left Wanda as a teen… "Ok, I get it, you know? But...you're really intelligent… shouldn't you have… noticed?"

"...honestly, I was afraid to scare her away, or make her uncomfortable, if she didn't feel the same."

"...fine, yeah, I can see that. Still, it's kinda obvious to everyone that she adores you."

"Well, yeah? We're friends." Ford told Seb patiently. "Of course she loves me. But loving me and being in love with me are two different things." he sighed. "I still don't… really know what I'm meant to do… about this whole dating thing. I love her. But I don't know what I'm supposed to do. But… I mean… I guess I… will figure it out?" He didn't want to bore Yun so much she broke up with him. She was still his friend first and a partner second. Even if they broke up, Ford hoped he didn't lose her as a friend. Then again, considering she'd chosen him for her Zodiac, he supposed that was a reassurance that he wouldn't lose her, even if they were no longer romantically together.

"Yeah, yeah…" The younger man pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ok...The important thing is that you're official now, right?" He smiled, but Ford of course couldn't see it. "Yes." Ford said and Seb grinned. "Good! When can I start making you a suit?!"

"A suit? For what?"

"Your weeeddiiinggg~" Seb teased his brother who started choking on the other side. He burst out into laughter as Ford (figuratively) died. "Sixer? You with me?" Sebastian heard gasping from the other side of the line and cackled. "But seriously dude, what are you gonna do with the whole dating thing?"

Ford groaned. "Yun said she didn't need gifts or special dates but I'm not sure if that's really alright. Do you think I should do something special for her anyway? What can I even do?"

Sebastian rolled his eye. "Well, Miz is a girl of simple tastes. I think she's just happy spending time with people. Which is good for you since I doubt you'll be able to pull off anything romantic-"

"Hey!"

"-and aside from that, I know she loves chocolate. Well, duh, who doesn't? And almost any other food as well. But if you're looking for gifts, nice chocolate is always a safe choice." Sebastian paused and considered something. "You know, you're really fucking lucky Miz isn't a human girl."

"Why is that?"

"Cause you don't have to deal with Miz on her period. I know how to treat my wife fine, but you... yeesh , I seriously doubt it! If such a thing ever happened…" Sebastian shuddered. "She would eat you alive."

Ford blanched. "T-that...is very fortunate for me indeed." The thought of a demon god going through unstable, hormone induced mood swings was totally terrifying. Miz already had mood swings, being on a menstrual cycle would make everything worse . "...and now I have the image of being devoured whole by my partner, thank you for that." He drawled sarcastically. Sebastian laughed loudly, kicking his legs in the air and almost making the puppy on his chest fall. "You are very welcome! Aaahh~Love, eh, Sixer?"

"Um...yes." Ford said, unsure. He didn't know what love was, but he knew that he cared for MizBill a lot, and wanted to be with her.

"What do you think the twins will think about this?" Seb wondered aloud. "What if everyone knows?! Did you tell Mom?! Can I tell her our favorite bachelor has finally been taken?!" Ford shook his head, despite Seb being unable to see it. "No, I don't want mother to know yet. I… still have to figure out how to tell her myself. But I also don't want to get her hopes up, if Yun gets bored with me-"

"Bitch, she wouldn't do that to you." Seb told him firmly. "And even if you do break up, she'd still be your friend, she wouldn't just drop you or get 'bored' with you."

"I… suppose you're right." Ford said with a sigh. "But, mother met Miz, she knows Miz is your adopted alien child. I can't tell her I'm dating your adopted daughter!"

Seb started biting his finger in thought. Right! He had totally forgotten about that! "But if you present her as Yun? I mean, they're the same person, but Yun is an adult, right? So it's fine." Ford frowned, only understanding half of it because his brother's finger muffled his voice, but he understood the idea. Yes...he COULD introduce his mother to Yun. "Yes...she looks like an adult woman. It would be less strange than trying to explain that I'm dating a child. Which, I'm not . Miz… she's not a child, even if she takes the form of one."

Sebastian suddenly laughed. "I...I just realized! If you marry Miz, does that make me your dad?!"

"I will stop you right there, Sebastian…" Stanford shuddered. Weird, too weird, even for him. "You aren't her real dad! And I wouldn't marry 'Miz' if such a thing ever happened."

"Tell that to our official adoption papers! Hah! In your face!" Seb replied childishly. "Anyway, it wouldn't change the fact that I am your older brother and I am NOT marrying Miz !" Ford growled. "Nor am I dating her. I can date Yun, or Xin, but I cannot, in good conscience, officially date Miz."

"Hey son, speak with a little more respect!" Seb made his voice deeper to sound more serious and Stanford groaned, exasperated. Why hasn't he grown up yet?! "Wait, you're not marrying them? So...you're just gonna date forever?" Sebastian asked. Ford paused. When Sebatian put it like that, it did sound rather odd. "Not every couple HAS to get married right?"

"No…" Seb agreed. "But humans do this...and...I like it… the whole concept of it. And the fancy party!" He blushed a bit. He remembered when he was against it. How silly of him. His wedding was the best party of his mundane human life. "I like being with Wanda this way, it's a way to say 'Hey fucker! This is MY wife and you can't have her because she's mine!' and I can fight people who offend her. Wanda socked a woman in the chin the other day for me, it was so awesome!"

Ford considered that. "I see what you mean. But what if MizBill isn't interested in marriage? I doubt she would appreciate you planning this out when she doesn't actually feel like it."

"Of course you don't plan it out by yourself, idiot! You have to talk about it with her! If Miz doesn't want to, don't do it, if you don't want to, don't do it, if both of you want to...meh, you could, who cares! Marriages are fun! You get to party, wear beautiful clothes, and eat cake and drink until you're a drunk ass!" Seb laughed maniacally.

"Of course you just want to have a party ." Ford rolled his eyes. He sighed. "I don't think I'm ready for things like marriage. I've only JUST started dating…" Even now he wasn't quite sure if this had been a mistake. He DID like MizBill. But was that enough for marriage? Ford didn't know. He groaned when he realized that despite being fully human, he was somehow lacking in this part of the human experience. Even Seb understood romance, and he used to be a demon.

Actually.

"Does MizBill even understand romance?" He asked suddenly. "Did YOU understand romance back when you were a being of pure energy? I know Miz used to be human, and some of her Self still registers more towards the human side of emotional feelings, but..." Seb was taken aback by the sudden question. He sat up and frowned. "Miz...seems to know about it...and understand it...she's a special Bill, she feels stuff most of them don't…" He said softly. Was it because she was raised by the Axolotl? Or from the time she was human? Seb learned about human emotions from being human, so maybe Miz did too?

"And...what about you?" Ford asked and Seb pouted. He flickered a flame to life and watched it dance on his palm. "I…"

Make it worth something!

"I don't know…" Seb said at last. "My past life was a little too fucked up, man...I-I'm not sure…" He hugged his knees to his chest. He didn't want to think about Nora. About how he failed her. "I think the Bill that I used to be...might have known how to love...a long time ago." He shook his head. "It doesn't matter now. The past me was nothing like Miz. She's filled with TOO much love." He smiled fondly at the thought of his spiritual little sister, legal daughter and personal best friend.

' So it's just me who doesn't understand…' Ford thought sourly.

"I'm sure she actually likes you, Sixer! I mean, she called you the second most handsome! No one can beat me of course! But being second is a great honor too! The highest of flattery! Hehe flattery, you get it?! Cuz, flat! And Bill is a triangle! HAHA!" Seb smiled and waited for his brother's reply.

"But why does she like me?" Ford sounded somewhat lost. He really couldn't understand. She claimed it was because she liked his fluffy hair and thought his chin looked funny. And thought his hands were sexy. And liked how creative he was- But was that really all it took? There had to be something more. It was impossible for her to choose him merely for his love for science (there were plenty of more intelligent scientists out there, probably?) and outward appearance, she was face blind after all. Even if she could see him and find him attractive, she could just as easily find others with similar features that would also catch her fancy (Like, literally, his near identical triplets) It wasn't as if she couldn't see what people looked like, she clearly COULD, she simply had trouble telling people apart if they shared enough exterior traits that they 'looked' similar. But what made Ford so special? Aside from being her Zodiac. He wasn't sure if that was even a factor here or not, since he very much doubted she'd be romantically inclined towards any of her other Zodiac members.

Sebastian held his phone and bit his lip. "Why are you so worried about this? Miz likes you and you like her too right? So why should it matter why ?"

"Because it makes no sense!" Ford cried. "I'm a mortal human! If she gets intimate with me… and then I die-" what would that do to her? Oh no, Ford hadn't thought of this at the time, and he couldn't just… break things off with her over this- that would be awful! He… was going to have to talk to her about this.

"I-I don't know, Sixer...I don't know…" Seb whimpered. He just wanted them to be happy, and Ford sounded really upset about all this, which wasn't good for him or Miz. "Look," Seb sighed. "Human stuff doesn't make sense...why did Carla choose Stanley? He's a dumb flirt! Why did Abi stay with Shermie when she could easily have left him after he got her pregnant so young? Why does Wanda like me ! That's the biggest question! And she fell for a really, REALLY beaten up, young version of me! Miz just, just likes you! It's how it is! No science, no magic...just...poof! It happened! Well, not poof, I guess, it probably happened over time or something-" He was getting upset himself. Explaining human things to his brother, who should know this by instinct, unlike him who had to learn it, was hard!

Ford was silent on the other side of the line. He was quiet for so long that Seb almost thought he'd hung up. Finally though, Ford's deep voice came through the phone. "And what about when I pass away? Will I tear out her heart and take it with me to the grave?" And she said that she would search for his reincarnation, but… that wasn't fair to her, or to his reincarnated self, who probably wouldn't even remember her.

Sebastian bit his finger harder this time until he drew blood. He didn't know! He didn't know! He wasn't the love god! He didn't know how to help Ford! "Ok, that sounds terrifying. But… I- I don't know. I don't know what you can do about that besides tell her straight out that you might die someday and she needs to just… accept that? "

Ford buried his face in his hand. "I...I don't know. I thought it would be an amazing opportunity to get to know her more personally. There's still so many things I don't know about Miz Cipher and I just really wanted to find out. And I really do care about her- I don't know what to do."

Seb wanted to cry. For what, he didn't know at the moment, but he felt the feeling build up in his chest. "I...can only tell you to try this...official dating thing carefully, don't do stupid shit, 'cuz I know you are stupid and will fuck it up!" Seb wiped his eye angrily. Stupid bodily fluids! "And if you see it isn't working, just end it...I did it once with a boyfriend I had...it didn't last of course, but at least we tried." Of course, it was him ending it and then he tried to kill himself, but Stanford didn't need to know that. Augh, this was so frustrating. Why couldn't Ford just...not have fallen for an immortal demon-god? "Look, do you love Miz?"

"Oh course. I want to stay by her side, and keep her safe and make her happy and cheer her up when she's sad!"

"Well, if someone else tried to take her away from you, would you get...I don't know, upset? If someone hurt her, would you step up to punch them? If she smiles at you, do you just feel like everything is just...better?"

Ford paused. Then he clutched his phone tighter. "Yes. I want- I want her to be happy."

"Well, then I think that's the best you can do for now." Seb sighed. "But seriously, if you're really worried about the whole, dating an immortal thing? Just… talk to her about it. Work this out between yourselves-"

"AH! FIRE!" He heard a voice screaming from the street, followed by crazy little girl laughter. "BURN THE CORPSE! BURN THE CORPSE!"

"ZOE!" Seb screamed, "Sorry Sixer, I need to go. But seriously, talk to Miz. And I'm gonna talk to her too." he clicked off his phone and ran to the front yard. Ok, change of plans. Teach his daughter she couldn't sacrifice dolls out in the open (she should have told him and they could have made a firepit to sacrifice the doll properly with marshmallows and not get in trouble with the neighbors!) and THEN talk to Miz about Fordsie.

He ran out with a fire extinguisher and had to apologise profusely to Rachel from down the street. She had been walking her dog and spotted the little bonfire Zoe had built on the sidewalk. "Sorry. She's been...ah...trying to practice cooking on her own." He bullshit sheepishly. Rachel stared at him. "But she was clearly chanting 'burn the corpse' as she poked the doll with a stick."

Seb glared at Zoe who looked entirely unapologetic. "She snitched on the group, so she deserved to die." The girl shrugged. Seb laughed nervously and pushed Zoe back inside. "You little demon! What have I told you?! You can play with fire only when I'm watching you! Do you want to burn down the house?"

" Yes !" her pyromaniac nature shone in her heterochromatic eyes. Seb would be proud...but he would burn other people's houses, not their own . "Ok, go to the corner and think about what you did."

"Or what?!" The girl challenged. "Or I am telling Mom!" Seb laughed at her scared expression. "No!" "Then go! 30 minutes to think!"

While Zoe was sulking in the corner, biting the charcoaled arm of her doll, Seb walked upstairs where Miz was with Zach doing homework, suddenly wondering WHY Zoe wasn't doing her own homework. He found Zach diligently doing his work. Miz sat beside him, pointing out mistakes and very much being a supplemental teacher, letting Zach do what he can on his own before stepping in when he asked for help. "Am I using the word correctly?" Zach asked. Miz examined the sentence. "Yes! Very good, Zachy!" She pinched his cheeks and the boy whined. "Hey, Miz." He called and the two turned around. "Hey, Seb!"

"Ah...can I talk to you for a second?" Seb gestured for Miz to come with him. She raised an eyebrow but got up and followed Seb to his room. "What's up?"

"Look, I know I haven't really...spoken to you about this but...how do you feel about Ford, huh?" Seb said bluntly. He wasn't in the mood to be sneaky. Miz blinked. "I love him." She shrugged. Figures Ford immediately called his brothers for help. "If you're asking if I'm in love with him, I am. Or at least, I think these feelings I have are 'love'." she paused. "I mean, I feel all fluttery and happy around him. Less of a squirmy feeling, it's more… comfortable?" she blushed.

"Oh." Seb blinked. "Well that was easier than I thought…"

Miz shrugged. "I mean… I've never dated before. So I have no idea what I'm doing."

Seb sighed and gave Miz a lopsided smile. "So...what's happening between you and my brother?"

"Well, I've known Ford for awhile now and I've found myself...attracted to him. I like being around him, teasing him, talking to him, taking care of him and he's very nice to look at. And he's good at making me happy, and cheering me up, and thinking about me." Miz blushed. "So I decided I might as well go for it. If it doesn't work out...then at least I tried."

"Just don't go too hard on him. And don't get too angry at the poor guy. He has no idea how to date someone, but I'm sure he'll try his best. He always does." Seb smiled.

Miz laughed. "I already know that." She gave Seb a wry smile "I understand very well how hopeless he is with anything romantic. I'm not going to start expecting anything grand from him. Maybe little dates here and there if he feels like it."

Seb was struck with the thought of 'Sixer's a lucky bastard that his partner is so understanding of his social inadequacy .'

"Of course, I do hope he would learn to know when I'm trying to flirt with him…" Miz sighed. Not that she was any good at flirting, but she wanted to try. It sounded fun. She also wanted to try and fluster Ford even half as hard as he managed with her. She wanted to see him flustered! He was cute when he was!

Seb laughed. "Well good luck with that." He paused "Sixer sounds excited, but also pretty confused and doubting himself." Relatable. "Make sure you still like him despite how useless he is~"

Miz rolled her eyes and nodded. "I'll make sure. Don't worry. And he's not useless. He's very useful! Don't call him useless." Not that she only wanted him for his uses, she just wanted him .

Seb groaned. "I wish my relationships had been this easy." Wanda was incredible, but they both had been young, she couldn't help him at that time. His ex boyfriend hadn't been as serious as he promised, he left him because he couldn't take how broken Seb was.

"No relationships are easy Seb." Miz scolded him lightly. "But Ford and I are adults. You and mom were teenagers. It's very different. Plus, you were going through a very stressful time in your life." (And so was Miz, not that she liked admitting it.)

"Gah, don't remind me…" He mumbled with a pout. Miz continued "Plus you and mom had all those hormones and teenage horniness…not to mention the drama from your fragile egos and insecurities..."

Seb blushed. "I just cried more than normal as a teen. It was your mom who started everything." Miz grinned and poked his side. "And you gladly accepted, didn't you? Mom told me stuff ."

"Your mom's a liar." Seb stuck his tongue out. Miz cackled "But regardless, what I've seen from watching others start relationships is that people tend to be under this misconception that once you start dating someone, you have to invest everything you are into it. Which is frankly, stupid. Any relationship that requires you to give up parts of yourself in a negative way cannot possibly be healthy. There's being vulnerable and open to your partner, and then there's being stupid." she wasn't going to make Ford her entire world , that would be the pinnacle of selfishness. And if she invested that much into Ford, it would be worse for her once he passed away.

"...are you basing this off the romance movies and novels you read?" Seb deadpanned. Miz huffed "They're Shoujo manga! And my point still stands! I've seen the problems that happen in stories often enough that I refuse to conform to them just because everyone has been brainwashed by the media to think relationships are SUPPOSED to be like that."

Seb wasn't sure how accurate a cartoon could be about romance, but found himself asking "What sorts of problems are you avoiding?"

"Ugh. Don't even get me started, the fact that people will completely fall to pieces once they're in a relationship and their partner breaks up with them, like geez, emotional investment is a thing but your partner isn't your only reason for living, right?" and she certainly didn't want that. Emotional support wasn't the same as emotional pillar. She wasn't going to let Fordsie be a pillar for her. She wasn't going to rely on him for her happiness. Sure, he could be her support, and give her happiness, but he wasn't going to be everything to her. That was too dangerous.

Seb opened his mouth to tell her that for some people, especially the lonely and depressed type like he had been, their partners WERE the most precious and valuable thing. But then he realized what Miz meant. And how she was in fact, suicidal and yes, he could see why she didn't want to invest everything in Ford. He sighed. "Look, I kinda get where you're coming from, but Ford's… delicate. And aren't you the one who falls to pieces when you lose the people you love?"

"Well my friends and my children are different. They're my family." Miz protested before she paused. "And yes, I know Fordsie is technically family now, but..." Seb sat down beside her on the bed. "And for some people, their partner is like that. So if they lose them, it's really hard for them to move on."

Miz bit her lip. It made sense when he put it like that. "But I still can't understand those dumb teenagers who ask out their crush and get super depressed when they get turned down. Like...they didn't love them. They lusted for them, or they were infatuated , but they didn't love them. So why do they still feel so strongly?" She didn't want to be like that, and had never felt that way about someone before. "Heck, most of the time in stories, they've never even spoken to their crush!"

"Because humans are dumb, emotional creatures." Seb pet Miz's head. "I hurt a lot when a girl rejected me, it was just like that. Maybe you don't get it because you've never been rejected by a crush."

"But I have ." Miz said. "I had a crush on her for over a year and we were good friends, hung out all the time together. Didn't realize I liked her until she started dating someone else. And even then, I didn't get jealous or sad that she was with someone. I was just like 'Oh. She's dating someone. That's cool. I kinda wonder what that would be like' and after she broke up with her girlfriend, I tried asking her out." Miz thought back to it. "Though, I told her straight out that I wasn't interested in anything physical. I just wanted to see if we could try being together." She looked down at her hands. "She turned me down. I wasn't upset. It was just an, ok that's cool, and then I never brought it up again. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have asked her right after her break up. That probably didn't help."

Seb hummed in thought. "I'm glad love doesn't affect you like that…" He told her honestly. But Miz was a little worried now. "But what if how I feel is...wrong? What if that's not how people are supposed to react to being rejected?" Miz asked "What if there's just something wrong with me?"

"Well...how did you feel when you asked Ford out?" Seb wondered. Miz thought back. "I… I was very happy. I've liked him for a while now. And he keeps doing things that make me like him more." She blushed. "Also he kinda, sorta asked me out? When I asked. Because Fiddles paid some kid to tell me. I did ask him out too, it was the 2nd time in my life I've ever asked someone out."

"Wait. Seriously? You've never asked anyone aside from that one girl who said no?" Seb gasped. Miz shrugged. "Well I've never liked anyone else in this way since then."

"Aaww~ So my brother is special for wittle Miz?" He teased. Miz blushed slightly. "A-A little, yeah! Fuck you."

The man laughed and held her close in a hug. "I think you two worry for nothing! I know there's something special between you...and I think you should just see how it goes!" Seb nodded. "Ford isn't going to get upset if you don't know what you're doing, he's very practical, you will still be friends and do...projects together." And sessions. Seb shuddered before shaking that off.

Miz leaned against Sebastian's chest and smiled. "Have you considered being the love god? You do a great job." She joked. Seb sighed dramatically. "I applied, but didn't get the job." Both laughed easily, trying to ignore the screams from startled people outside at the drone looking like a monster the twins were controlling from the window. "Should we hide before they know it's us?" Seb asked.

"Absolutely." Miz agreed quickly. They ran to grab the twins and put a stop to the monster rampage before someone called the cops (again).

Ford found William in his lab the next weekend. He/she(?) was shuffling from foot to foot, looking almost shy. "Hi, Fordsie. Um… I think we need to have a talk about our relationship."

Ford winced. Ah. "Y-yes. So… what do you want to talk about?"

William was dressed in a colorful t-shirt and pants. He fiddled with his shirt. "So. We've been hanging out and getting to know each other. I don't expect you to go out of your way and do anything different. You're someone I like, and enjoy hanging out with. And I do find you attractive...Now we're officially a couple and I'm pretty excited, I just want to hang out with you, talk and cuddle, so don't think you have to go on extremes for me for anything."

Ford blinked. That… Was a very reasonable way to put it. "So… I don't have to...take you to dances or movies every time?"

William chuckled. "No, Fordsie, you don't have to. I wouldn't mind the occasional dinner together and such, but I'm just happy doing what you want to do." Ford nodded. "Well, I also want to do what you want sometimes too. Equality is a thing. And we can find things that both of us want to do together." William nodded, "That sounds pretty fair."

Ford raised an eyebrow. "So… nothing has to change, now that we're officially together?"

"Not if you don't want it to. I mean, I can claim you as mine now. Unless you don't like that?" William blinked up at him. Ford shrugged. "You've always been possessive, I've accepted that part of you. So long as you continue to not hurt or kill anyone unless in self defense, or to protect someone else, I don't mind if you're a little possessive. As in, don't go biting off anyone's head if they try to flirt with me."

William giggled. "Fiiiiine~" Ford placed a hand on his head. "I'm serious. I've seen Sebastian almost kill a man for flirting with Wanda. That's not a good thing." William nodded. "Alright. I won't go into a jealous, possessive rage if someone tries to flirt with you." he said solemnly. Ford relaxed, smiled, and patted his head. "Thank you."

"Anything else to add?" William asked next. Ford thought about it. "Well, the 'no sex' is already established. Though you do require some sensual touching, yes?" William nodded. "And I get horny sometimes, so… um… I don't like any sort of penetrative play, but if you don't feel too uncomfortable with it, I have a need to masturbate."

"That's fine, if you have 'needs' and I'm not expected to take part, I see no issue." Ford nodded with a faint blush.

"But, like…" William's cheeks went a faint orange. "I have some really weird kinks, and sometimes you do it for me… and I should tell you this straight out."

Ford blinked. "Excuse me?"

William flushed darker. "L-like sometimes, I just get really turned on by something you do, and sometimes that happens when you touch me a certain way, and I should tell you, if you're uncomfortable with such a thing, so you'd know to stop doing that." William told him. Ford blinked. "Well, I mean…" Ford rubbed his hand along William's cheek. "It's just touching you? Along your body? The way I'm already doing?" William shivered at the feeling of Ford's skin against his own. "S-something like that?"

"Well, if it's already the stuff I've been doing with you, which you like, and I don't mind, then it shouldn't be an issue, even if it… um, turns you on?" Ford said carefully. "I DO want to help you feel good, if you like that sort of thing."

William leaned against Ford's hand. "Well, yes. And I also want to help you feel good." he said softly. Ford blushed. "You don't have to." William pouted, "I'm not going to go jerkin' you off, if that's what you were thinking." he rolled his eye. "But if there's any touching that you would like, and any kinks you might have that you'd like to have satisfied, I am willing to hear them out."

Ford choked. "I-I don't have-" and William gave him a deadpanned look as he brought his hands up to curl around Ford's. And then… William caressed Ford's hand with an almost worshipful sensuality, trailing soft touches and strokes along every curve and point, across every wrinkle and crease, and Ford let out a full body shiver as an odd sensation spread through him. "U-um…" Ford blushed.

"Do you want me to stop?" William asked softly, stilling the movement of his fingers and staring up at Ford. The scientist felt his face heat up. "Um… no." he finally said. "That… um… feels very good." He coughed and looked away. William gave him a sly grin. "And? This sort of touching, on other parts of your body? Non-penetrative, of course." he said quickly, "But… if you need touching along anywhere else?"

Ford's face was definitely burning now. "Not my genitals, but um… I g-guess touching along my body is f-fine too. On a case by case basis. You can tell me where you want to touch, and I'll tell you if I'm comfortable with it." William smiled, placing Ford's hand back on his cheek. "Alright." he practically purred. "I like touching you. You have such a wonderful texture."

Ford rubbed a hand over his face, lifting his glasses to rub at his eyes, trying to make his blush go away. "So… um, what kinks do you have? That… that you might want me to help you indulge in?" Ford asked carefully.

William's ears perked up. "It felt really good when you complimented me." he said quickly. "A-and as long as we can do that somewhere safe, fireproof and large, it shouldn't be an issue."

"Actually, I'm wondering if we could somehow take that energy you put out during the process and store it?" Ford responded. "I mean, I'm all about the 'clean' energy sources and you…" he put both hands on William's cheeks, rubbing his thumbs across his chin, "...are amazing for that." and William's face heated up. "Yes. Just like that." Ford grinned. "We could make batteries, large industrial ones, and I've got my Weirdness to Electricity converter up and running. We would be able to build our own power plant that converts the excess you generate into good clean energy that humans can use- we could cut down on fossil fuels!" Ford was getting really excited about this now.

And William let out a soft little moan, thrumming at Ford's praise. "I'd love to help." he breathed softly. "Just probably don't tell people that this energy is coming from a horny alien demon-god." he joked. Ford laughed, "Yes that… that would be problematic. Well, I've already published my papers about 'Weirdness' being a real source of energy that exists, and like I said, I already have a Weirdness to Electricity converter, so it wouldn't be so far-fetched to say I just took it to the next level."

William purred against his hand. "Well, should we discuss more kinks we each have?"

Ford blinked. "You've got more?"

"Oh pleeeeeease Fordsie~" William purred, pressing himself right up against Ford's chest. "I'm over 700 billion years old~" he rubbed himself against the other man, "The praise thing is new ~ I've got plenty others I've picked up over time~"

Ford coughed. "Well, I… think we can discuss those another time. You're getting rather worked up and I don't want you destroying my lab." He could certainly feel the temperature of William's body heat up.

"...fine~" William huffed, taking a step back and trying to calm himself.

"But thank you for telling me." Ford smiled. "I will try to see to your needs, so long as they don't cause me discomfort." William nodded, managing to get his riled up energy to settle.

"Well, now that that's out of the way~" William draped himself over Ford's desk and pressed a finger against his calculations. "You have a few miscalculations here and here. So you should rework your math before attempting to build this. You're not gonna like the results if you do."

Ford rolled his eyes and sat down, glad this was settled. He was also glad that William's idea of a date was working on SCIENCE with him. That was pretty much the greatest part about this whole dating thing!

-.-

It wasn't always science in the lab. Or teaching Max his weekly lessons.

Sometimes Yun wanted to go out for a walk around the lake. But she also showed Ford the Gobblewonker! The REAL one! Which Ford didn't have any luck finding before now! But Yun had taken Ford below the water in a magical air bubble and Ford could investigate as much as he wanted.

Yun was dressed in a modified hoodie and had little hair clips pulling her bangs back for this date, but Ford didn't really comment or notice her outfit. Yun didn't really mind though, he was clearly distracted by the sea monster they were floating closer to. She held Ford close as the two floated through the water and secretly grinned at how there weren't a lot of people out at the lake this time of year. It was just them two, and she watched Ford's cute eager expression as he sketched the gobblewonker.

And then Ford proceeded to, like an idiot, poke the sleeping lake monster with a stick. Ford was snapping photos even as Yun pulled him away from the beast's snapping jaws and swam madly for the surface of the lake. "FASCINATING!" He squealed.

"I'm glad you like it~" Yun rolled her eyes. "But I don't want you to get eaten! We just started this relationship and you're not allowed to die on me!"

They broke the surface of the water and tumbled along the shoreline, waves crashing over them and covering them in water and sand. The gobblewonker hissed at them before going back below the surface and disappearing from view.

The two looked at each other, smiling widely and ended up laughing. They were both soaked with lake water and despite the cold weather, Ford felt warm. He didn't think it was just from Yun's magical heat either.

The next thing Ford's friends and colleagues knew was that their boss was dripping wet as he walked back into the Center, laughing madly as a dark skinned woman hugged him. "I can't believe you poked the damn thing with a stick!" The woman in the oversized hoodie punched Ford's arm lightly as she grinned.

"Well how else was I supposed to get photos of it awake?" Ford complained through the smile on his face. The woman snickered and leaned against him. "You're nuts!" She placed a hand along his cheek and stroked his face with her thumb. "I think I like this crazy side of you. But-" and here she pulled Ford down to press their foreheads together. "-don't try to do something as stupid as that without me nearby to keep you from getting your ass killed. Okay? I don't want to lose my boyfriend when I finally got one!"

"Yes, yes, I promise." He rolled his eyes. "Can we go change? I'm freezing, my toes will fall off." Yun burst out laughing before the two used a side door towards the house. When the door was closed, Dr. Wexler, Poddar, Jerald and Clark poked their heads out from their hiding spot.

"Oh my god~" Dr. Clark squealed. Dr. Pines had a girlfriend! That woman they saw him with a while ago was his girlfriend! Confirmed !

Dr. Poddar scowled and handed Clark a 10 dollar bill. "I need to stop betting against you…" he groaned.

-.-

The next week, MizBill came to him in his Xin form and asked to go out for lunch after working at the lab for a few hours. Ford agreed because well, he had to eat at some point and this was one of those spontaneous decisions they were going to do as partners. Xin snuggled close to him as they walked into town.

Ford noticed people were staring but didn't think much of it. They got lunch and Xin stopped off at the grocery store on the way back because he wanted to try baking cookies for Ford.

Ford, with his 'secret' (it wasn't really that secret) sweet tooth, was all for this idea.

...and that was the day he saw with his own eyes that while MizBill was a very good cook for things that didn't use a recipe, he couldn't bake things that 'looked' right without magic. And as Ford had requested no-magic for the cookies, well...

Ah. William had said that dating was about getting to know your partner and learning new things about them. This too, counted. Right?

The cookies still tasted good, even if their texture was on the 'too melty' side. He still ate them because they DID taste good and despite the way they looked, were fully cooked. Ford just had to eat them with a spoon. As they were inside the house, Xin allowed his antlers, scales and tail to be shown and he tucked his tail between his legs in embarrassment at how the cookies turned out. "I'm sorry...I wanted to make them look good! Stupid Seb can bake really good and he doesn't have to use magic for it!"

Ford, munching his cookie with his eyes wide like an owl, blinked. "But they're good, I like them, really!" he reached over to hug Xin when the other man pouted at him. "I'm not just saying this to make you feel better. Though, perhaps you should actually follow the recipe in the future. Just because you think substituting something is a 'good' idea, doesn't mean it'll turn out the right way."

Xin huffed. But he was smiling. "You only like them because it was sugary…" he said as he poked at one of the cookies, it squished under his finger and he drew a little smiley face on it, grimacing at the texture.

"Look. If you think I'm lying, then we can try again." Ford shrugged. He grabbed the dragon's hand and squeezed softly to make him look up, and it worked, Xin looked up with his face bright red. "Yes?" Ford drew out. Xin rolled his eyes with a smile, "...ok…"

"So, dudes...how did you set the oven on fire?" Soos asked curiously. Good thing he was used to keeping fire extinguishers everywhere when Seb would spontaneously combust. Aaw, that seemed like so long ago...

Xin and Ford shared a look and...

"I'll buy a new one." Ford declared. That thing was definitely old and not working right anyway! Ford nodded to himself. That must have been it. He measured out the ingredients perfectly! Even if he changed out a few ingredients. There was no other way for the cookies to have caught fire and burn the inside of the oven!

So he got a new oven, replacing the old (and obviously defective) oven.

The townsfolk and the scientists all saw Ford shopping together with an attractive Asian man. The two were holding hands as they walked through town, paying no attention to the staring and whispers.

Needless to say, Dr. Poddar wanted his money back! Clark had been wrong!

And Dr. Jerald handed Dr. Wexler a 20 dollar bill. "So the doc really is Biromantic? Or Panromantic?"

"Wait, so did he break up with that other girl?"

"I don't think so, I still see her around? Um… I think her name's Yun?"

"Oh god, what if he's dating both of them!"

"The… the doc wouldn't cheat… would he?" "Of course not! He's not that kind of man!"

"But he's… dating Yun, we hear her call Dr. Pines her boyfriend, right? But the doc's with Xin too?"

The scientists all gossiped long into the night. Dr. Wexler pointed out that Xin was a shapeshifting dragon and Yun might just be him in another form. Dr. Jerald countered that with the fact that Xin was male. Dr. Poddar reminded them all that such a thing meant nothing for a magically shapeshifting creature. More bets were made.

One day though, a very cold day in December, when Ford went to search for his pupil, he wasn't there. "Max?" He called out.

Max was always on time, which was amazing, considering he didn't have a watch on him. "Max! Are you here?" He looked around the system of caves. NOT the one taking him to the rift, but another one where they agreed to meet in.

"...M-Mr. Pines…"

Ford followed the voice and his eyes widened at the curled up boy between some rocks. "Max! What the hell? Why are you here? Are you ok?!"

"...Yesterday...couldn't...go in...Rift...blocked...Hibernation...Tired…" Max closed his eyes, finally feeling safe to die. Death was a common thing his species lived, especially during winter. Ford took off his jacket and wrapped it around the freezing cold boy. He was pale and his lips and fingers were turning blue.

"No, you're not sleeping here, if you die, your girlfriend's going to murder me painfully." Ford picked him up and quickly opened a portal home. He had to get Max warmed up ASAP.

-.-

"NOOO! MY SON!" Yun pushed Ford away as soon as he carefully tucked Max into bed, with the thermostat at maximum. Ford laid on the ground with a very put upon expression as Yun fussed over the eix leel.

"If he knew the rift was going to get blocked, he should have told us!" Yun pulled Max's collar away so his body did not take the extra strain from keeping the human illusion. 30 seconds later, Max's real form was seen. And Yun was wrapping all four of her arms around him, purring and vibrating heat directly into him. "Did he really think he could pull this off? Why didn't I think about it?!" The alien complained, stroking his feathers and his near frozen face. "I'm gonna give you a heating effect on your communication charm." she said simply. She cursed herself for this oversight.

"Vichun...Am I welcomed in the underworld yet…?" Max mumbled tiredly (somewhat deliriously) as he stirred.

"No. No you aren't. You're still alive and not freezing to death!" Yun patted him, "Also, Vichun will have to pry you from my cold dead grasp if that asshole wants to take you before your time!"

"God Vichun...I didn't want...to miss my lessons...Dr. Pines...would be upset…"

"Fuck that, your health is more important!" Yun was glad to feel his body temperature rising. "Fordsie~! Bring more blankets!"

Ford, still lying on the ground where Yun shoved him, let out a tired sigh. "I would, but it appears I am unable to move." he deadpanned. ("Stop being such a dramatic bitch! I didn't even hurt you!")

The two warmed up the eix leel, who tiredly tried reaching for his necklace that he couldn't grasp from his neck. And he wouldn't because it was on a nightstand. "Can't...show scales...humans...hunt...human form…"

"You're safe here." Yun assured him. "If any human tries to hunt you, I'll eviscerate them. You're my son now."

"No you will not." Ford mussed up Yun's hair.

"I...am...a dragon?" Max slurred tiredly. Yun wrapped another blanket around him. "Yes, Max. Definitely~" she patted his snout. "And what a handsome widdle dragon you are~"

"I'm...a dragon…?" Max said in a content sigh as the warmth in the environment finally raised his temperature.

"No you're not. Yun, don't confuse him." Ford groaned. Yun pushed him back with her lower hands. "Fordsie, hush, also you're my son and I'll always protect you." She pressed her cheek against Max's, petting him gently.

It took a couple hours for Max to fully wake up again. He didn't remember his delirious state and Ford guessed it was for the best. "Thank you for saving me...I didnt even see Mabel recently, she'd double kill me if I froze to death…"

Yun frowned at him. "Seriously, take better care of yourself. And go see Mabel after this, ask if you can stay the night. It's not safe to be waiting out in the cold like that."

Max sighed. "I know...But last night I couldn't go back into the town-" "You've been out there the entire night?!" "-I didn't expect the rift to get blocked so early in the winter...I wanted to go with Mabel but-but she was busy with her school and I didnt want to bother her."

"And you preferred freezing to death? You are perfect for the Pines family." Yun put her lower hands on her hips as she crossed the upper ones. "Hey! Your self preservation is worse than ours!" Ford complained slightly, but, eh. Accurate.

"Anyway, since it's gonna be like this, today's lesson will be 'how to find shelter to stay warm in cold weather'." Yun told him. "Fordsie, you help out too!"

Ford learned a lot more of Max's species after this episode. Eix leel prepared themselves for winter in different ways. The main one, the rift. They couldn't eliminate it, because they didn't create it, but they've found a way to contain it and stop it from working for a couple months and they used that during their most vulnerable time. Second, he found they didn't really hibernate, it was a 'semi-hibernation' as he classified it in his unofficial paper about Max's species. They slept a lot, but were awake enough to eat a bit more before going back to sleep. They needed a decent stash of food to pass the winters in their homes, or those who didn't eat enough wouldn't have enough strength and would pass away. Many prepared fires too and used that to warm up clothes and rocks they could curl up again until they woke up.

It sounded like a very harsh time of the year. Even worse, the males were nesting their eggs during that time and if their 'nesting heat' wasn't good enough, not many eggs wouldn't develop properly and they'd end up with slug eggs. Winter was a dangerous time for them.

Still, with the rift closed, it meant Max couldn't actually get home for a few months. And Yun wanted to take him home with her, but Wanda had put her foot down. "Too many strays! I got Seb first-" "HEY!" "-and then his delinquent friend! I want to help, but this is ridiculous!" and Ford offered to house Max for the time being.

Mabel also wanted to house her baby in her home because "HELLO? Are you all forgetting he's my boyfriend? Uncle Ford has spent more time with him than me!" the poor girl complained, but Shermie and Abi also put their foot down. Who knew what they would do if they were alone together! The former teenage parents only shook their heads. "Not until you're at least graduated."

"I like learning from your uncle though," Max told Mabel who coo'ed. "Then you can stay with him as long as you want~~"

Max got a room in the Shack and was welcomed by Soos and Melody. Yun just couldn't take how ADORABLE Max was.

"He's a young adult, and probably considered a fully grown one in his village." Ford reminded Yun as she screamed into his chest about how much of an absolute baby Max was.

"Baby!" Yun declared as she wrapped her arms around her unamused partner. "I want a baby…" She whispered. That was for herself, but she ended up saying it aloud.

Ford turned red.

"Ah… adoption is a thing…" Ford said slowly.

"I want ALL the babies!" Yun insisted, squeezing her partner harder.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"Well." Yun said, hands on her hips. "That thing I'm working on with Stanley should be finished soon. And then I can have all the babies!" Ford's eyes bugged out, "WHAT?!"

What thing with Stanley?! Babies?! What?!

Yun blinked. "Oh, you see, Tio Rico can make me as many fake IDs as I want. So I've made a proper legal identity for Yun now. And since I now legally exist, I can get a job, or rather, I can start my own business! And who better for business deals and partnerships, than the CEO of StanCo himself?"

Oh. "...Why wasn't I aware?" Ford asked his girlfriend with a raised eyebrow.

Yun raised an eyebrow right back. "...you didn't ask?" She shrugged. "I have stuff I do outside of hanging out here, you know." Ford blushed. "Yes, I know, I just… I didn't realize you…" making her own business? That was… a big deal.

Yun nodded. "The world is shit right now. And Forest's CEO is a fucking ass. So, I figured I'm going to beat him at his own game by starting my OWN delivery service, which is better, faster, and pays its workers actual living wages."

Ford had to take a mental step back. "...a delivery service?" He wasn't expecting that. Yun nodded. "Online shipping is huge nowadays, and with how I'm just gonna be teleporting the packages to the several thousand locations that Stan helped me find and purchase…" she shrugged. "I'm gonna make so much money! And then I can buy out the orphanages, and then I can have ALL the babies!" She said simply. Ford was left feeling faint. "...I don't think you can do that?"

"Why not?" Yun pouted. "I'll take good care of them, and if people wanna adopt a kid, they can still do so. I'm just going to ensure that they'll actually get the attention and care that they need. I've been perfecting my Care Units from the experience they've learned on the Island. They can raise children. They're meant for that."

"So you want control of the orphanages around the world?" Ford asked slowly. "Only to keep the kids safe! And if I can't buy them out, I can just open my own orphanages! Once I get the money." Yun nodded. "And the easiest way to make money is to own a business where I can hire workers to do the work for me."

...well she wasn't wrong?

Ford shook his head with a smile and hugged her softly. "That's actually a good idea, and it's good you want to confront a huge monopoly and use this to help others." Yun purred in delight at his approval.

"Come on, Max, I'll teach you about economic models other than straight trades!" Ford pulled away from Yun and went to search for his pupil.

Yun hugged herself and smiled. Babies~~

-.-

Ford was wrapped in his long coat and scarf, riding his partner's back as Xin (in his dragon form) carried Max (in his eix leel form) in his mouth. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Pftt! Anything I bring will be loved by the Islanders, especially this little cutie wittle baby~" Xin rumbled lovingly.

"Thank you, Great Dragon...but I'm not a baby?" Max kicked his hanging legs uselessly. He would blush if he could. This was so embarrassing...He didn't want to be treated like a pup, carried around by his neck scruff, but it was the Great Dragon...he had to indulge him.

Ford was just confused at why Xin was acting like this. Sure, he liked kids, but Max wasn't really a child. But he'd been babying him and essentially treating Max as if he were his own pup. (It was much later, that Ford realized that with Xin's mating season in the summer, it meant the winter was for pampering the babies that had been born in the fall. Ford would smack himself for being an idiot and not noticing. Xin's biological instincts were strong.)

Max was wearing a modified coat and was swinging from side to side, with his tail curled up. He didn't know what this Island was about, he just hoped it wasn't too cold. The Great Dragon said it wouldn't be.

They crossed the barrier and Ford jumped off The Great Dragon's back. Max wiggled to be put down and when his paws touched the ground, Xin stopped him with a huge paw.

"Behold!" Xin told his worshippers as they came out to greet him, "My pup!" he nudged Max forward gently.

The children and adults of the Island gasped loudly before clapping and cheering.

Though one of them looked between their god and that man who always came with him. Then she looked over at Max, who was clearly reptilian, but stood on two legs, and had fingers instead of paws and…

"...your child… with that man?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yes!" Xin said proudly. "We are raising him together!"

Ford stared at the blank space in front of him before looking at Xin. "What?"

"What?" Max also muttered, extremely confused. "Great Dragon…"

"Shh, shh it's ok~" Xin nuzzled his side and Max yelped when he was forced onto the ground for the god to lick him, grooming his feathers back. "Hhmmpphh!" He cried for help at Mr. Pines as the paws downed and trapped him. Xin was rumbling blissfully. Ford was still stuck on the previous point. "Xin, Max is not our child, he's too old."

"Adoption is valid!" Xin declared. And the people cheered, because hooray adoption! Though they were still rather confused at Max looking like some half human half dragon creature.

After struggling and wiggling his way out from Xin's paws, Max spat out a few loose feathers that got into his mouth. He poked his head out and realized time had passed, because the humans were gone and Xin was asleep. He was so warm but that was not the point. He looked around and spotted Ford reading close to them. "Mr. Pines! Help!"

"I'm sorry Maxini, but I wish to keep my hands."

"I'm not a pup, do I look like a pup right now? I'm 19 , I don't want to...be treated like a baby." He sniffled. "I never had my ceremony to signalize I was old enough at 15...Maybe the Great Dragon doesn't know? Should I tell him I'm grown already? Mabel and I have-"

"Woah! Woah there buddy! I do not wish to hear what you do with my niece!" Ford flushed.

Then he sighed, taking pity on Max and went over to lift Xin's paw and free him.

Ford sighed. "I don't think this is a you thing, Xin just… really wants babies. And you're just unfortunate enough to be here and 'register' as a child to him." Huh. So THAT must be it!

Max quickly scrambled away and sighed in relief when he got away. "Oh...And he can't have babies? I guess you are in a similar situation to Mabel and I?"

Ford blushed. "It's… different for us… ah…" Ford wasn't sure how to talk about this. "We… erm… don't like the… act of creating babies." He said simply.

Max blinked slowly "That's weird." Ford blushed harder but this wasn't going to be a lesson! He was not up for explaining his own sexuality right now.

The eix leel laughed, shook himself and told his mentor he was going to explore around. Ford waved at him, still blushing slightly.

Max barely disappeared from his sight when Xin's black/yellow eyes shot open and his pupils slitted. "Baby…" he rumbled deep in his throat.

Ford screamed into the air. "RUN, MAX, RUN!"

The boy's sensitive ears twitched when he heard both the shout and the dragon waking up, and yelped as Xin dashed off at him. "AHHHHHHHH!" He knew the Great Dragon wouldn't hurt him, but this was still scary as shit!

The Islanders watched the chase go. The green reptilian screamed as he dodged and slipped between small creases, running on all fours, while the God dragon slithered through the air.

"MMMMIIIssssteeer FoooRRDDD!" Max cried as he ran across and then went again. Ford dodged Xin's massive form. "Sorry, boy!"

-.-

Max deadpanned and grumbled. The huge tongue made his head tilt back as he was licked. This felt so nice, he couldn't lie to himself about that part, but it'd be nicer if he had asked for it...or if it was with a partner...not like a baby! "You know I'm not a baby, great dragon?" Max said with a sigh. Xin nodded, "But you're also still a baby."

"But, I don't like it." Max said. And Xin froze. "...you… don't?" Xin looked down at Max. The eix leel winced. "Look, great dragon, I appreciate it, but I'm… an adult. I'm not your pup. If you want a pup, you can just ask mister Ford."

Xin's ears dropped sadly and he whined. Max smiled and patted his snout. "I understand." And he did. "I want pups too. But I don't know if that's even possible for me and Mabel. And… I guess you and mister Ford are going to have the same issue." Max understood how the great dragon felt. So he wasn't mad, a little annoyed and embarrassed, but not mad.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's alright, Great Dragon." Max nuzzled his huge snout. "I still like how warm you are though and…If you allow it, I still think nuzzling is fine."

Xin sniffled and nodded. "O-Ok…" Ba-Baby...Not baby...

Babies though… Xin thought about it. Babies… ask… Ford…?

Xin blushed. Was such a thing even possible?

Max left him again, taking advantage of the dragon being distracted to free himself, and ran away laughing. It's been SO long since he was in his original form and could run freely! A few children ran after him and Max wagged his tail as they tried catching him.

Ford walked over to Xin to pat his leg, not knowing what his partner was thinking about. "Come on. Don't worry, I'm sure he's still sleeping with you in your nest. He seems to like having that familiarity."

"I want babies." Xin told Ford. He nodded, "Yes, that's why you're going to buy up all the orphanages."

"No, I mean…" Xin lowered his head to stare at Ford. "I want babies ."

Ford blinked before letting out a high pitched nervous laugh. "W-What?" He squeaked.

But Xin kept staring at him. "Gimme babies, without all the baby making stuff." he demanded.

"...How the FUCK am I even supposed to do that?" The brunette scientist cried.

"You're the genius here." Xin reminded him. The golden dragon leaned closer and narrowed his eyes, as he bared his teeth. "So. Gimme. Babies."

"...Y-Yo-...B-But-uh…" Ford scratched his head, blushing madly "I...I guess...Um… I'll figure something out?" Xin squealed and purred down at him, nudging him with his snout.

Seb and Wanda would kill him...Ford searched for Max with his sight and found the boy rolling on the ground with the children petting him.

This was all his fault… sigh .

---

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