Hello! Small interlude before hard stuff comes!
(This takes place right after summer ended, when Stan and his Fam got back to New York, so essentially this is what they were up to while Ford and Seb were doing what they were doing.)
Stan groaned as he and Carla dropped their bags to the floor of the elevator. Should have called Aaron to come down and help with them. Dillon groaned as he dropped his bags too. Diego only had to carry his little wheeled suitcase. Lucky. The elevator ride to the top was as obnoxious as always. Dillon really didn't see the point of Penthouse Suites. The elevator was annoying as fuck. Couldn't they have gotten a house on the ground?
Hah. In the middle of New York? Not likely.
The elevator 'ding'ed as they made it to the top. Stan groaned, picking up the bags again and carrying them in. "Hey Aaron! You there?" Stan called out. Diego was running with his suitcase behind him. "Mister Aaaaaron?" He called out. Stan looked around. Aaron should be here, he had the keys, and Stan had told him he was allowed to stay at the penthouse if he got back from his summer vacation before they did.
Dillon was dragging his stuff down the hall to his room. He passed the sofa in the living room and jumped when a voice called out, "You are alive. I am relieved. Would have been a shame if I spent so long keeping you from harm, only for you to be taken out because I was told to take the summer off."
Dillon had a hand over his chest. "Geez Sasha! You're going to give me a freakin' heart attack one of these days…" he turned to the sofa and trailed off when he realized she wasn't there. "What…"
And then Sasha dropped down from the ceiling to land beside him. Dillon jumped again. "AAAHH! Sasha! Do you have to do that?!"
He could see the slightest of twitches on the side of her mouth. "I must constantly be on the alert. I won't let a summer of not working dull my skills. I would have found another charge to look after for the summer, but Mr. Pines paid for my whole vacation, so I thought I should take some time for personal pursuits." and Dillon had to ask, "Were you hiding in here all summer?!"
Sasha gave him a bland look. "Of course not. I spent the summer continuing to hone my skills." Dillon just gave her a blank look. "Meaning?"
"Meaning she spent the summer following me around while I was on my own vacation." Aaron's voice called out as he walked over. "Welcome home by the way. Did you all have fun in New Jersey?" he bent down to help Dillon with his bags.
"Mister Aaron!" Diego squealed, running over to hug his leg. Aaron smiled down at the boy and patted his head. "Missed you!" Diego told him. "Wanna hear about what I did?" the boy was grinning as he bounced in place. "Of course, I can't wait to hear it. Wanna talk as I help your parents get all their bags back to their rooms?"
Dillon on the other hand, turned to Sasha with a deadpanned, "You spent your summer stalking Aaron?!" But Sasha just shrugged. "He knew I was there. It was rather the point. A test of my skills, if he could find me or not."
Dillon was stuck with the thought that everyone in his life was just super weird.
'Wait, does that mean I'm the normal one in the family?!' he thought in despair. Wait no, his mom! She was normal- Dillon turned to see his mom complimenting Sasha on her newest maid dress. "Is that actual armor underneath?" Carla gasped. "That's amazing. Where do you get these from?"
"Oh you'd be amazed what sorts of specialty shops exist." Sasha raised an eyebrow. "I could get you their contact if you're interested?" And Carla nodded, making Dillon despair. He really was the only normal one. He went to his room and flopped onto his bed. He also texted Phillip to complain about being the only sane man in his whole family.
Phillip found it much too funny.
"Phiiiiiillip!" Dillon whined. "Quit laughing at meeeee!"
"But IT'S FUNNY!"
"No, it's not! We almost got eaten by reptile gals because of my family craziness! I don't wanna go on cryptid adventures ever agaaaaain!"
"Ah~ I love your family~I can go in your place please?" Phillip grinned and judging by the amount of heart emojis, Dillon was starting to believe his boyfriend was crazy too.
-.-
Insanity dropped as their normal life restarted. Diego went back to school and Dillon started college. Ah, college. Nice, normal college...
Dillon's eye twitched at the way some kids screamed as they ran around in the hallways. What was wrong with people? They were in college now! They should be more mature and act more like adults. (Though considering his father and uncles, that was probably a bad example…)
Anyway, Dillon was trying to be a good, responsible, mature adult.
A cool adult who could ignore the bodyguard/maid following him around.
"Um… Sasha?" Dillon said slowly. ("What is it?") "...why're you being so… visible?"
"I am testing who would try to approach us to check for levels of threat in this school." (Of course, why did Dillon think she would do anything else?)
"You know, colleges are far more open and there's a special LGBT committee in case aggressions happen...You should totally watch over Diego instead of me, he's smol! He could get hurt on the slide! Or-or the swings!"
"Diego knows first aid, he doesn't need my protection. You on the other hand…"
"Dude, I'm 19! I won't make college friends (well, with non screaming kids hopefully), with you following me around." Dillon groaned with his head thrown back.
"You cried yesterday from a splinter." Sasha deadpanned, and Dillon's eyes welled up with tears at the memory. "It hurt !" he pouted. He wasn't a big baby, he just couldn't handle splinters and stuff. Or skinned knees. Or bruises. Or papercuts…
Ok fine, he was a little bit of a… Dillon huffed as he crossed his arms. He just had less pain tolerance than other people, ok? But more than that…
"I'm not gonna be able to make friends in college with you following me everywhere." he told her. Sasha merely raised an eyebrow. "One would assume you get more people coming up to ask you about why you've got a battle maid following you."
"I very much do not want anyone to ask me that, thank you." Dillon deadpanned as he continued walking through the halls. Where the heck was his class anyway?! He looked down at his schedule again.
"Down the next hallway on the right." Sasha quipped. Dillon looked over. "How do you know where my classes are?"
"I snuck in here the night before to get the entire layout of the building."
…...right, he should have expected that.
"Do I want to ask how you haven't been caught yet?" Dillon sighed. "And why the school security didn't stop you from just… waltzing in here despite not being a student?"
"The security for schools is awful and terrible, and frankly, the threat of school shootings and violence on this very easy to break into campus is most of the reason why I'm here." Sasha admitted. "Diego is under risk as well, but you are my main charge."
Dillon groaned. "Fiiine~" It was a little worrying that no one at all had stopped what was clearly a grown woman in a maid outfit who wasn't a student from just waltzing through the halls. Dillon made a long suffering sigh and walked to his first class, feeling his hands getting sweaty from nervousness. Gross. Damn Dad. Dillon knew he got his sweatiness from dad's side of the family.
The teacher, a woman with a bright (super happy in the way that looked painful) smile greeting him with an enthusiastic "Hello dearie! Welcome to Introduction to Marketing!"
Dillon tried not to feel discouraged. People were meant to be all smiling and positive in marketing. Heck, dad had a whole salesman persona he would use for clients.
Sasha gave the happy teacher a nod and walked to the back of the room, giving the already stressed teen some space. Dillon sat down and just waited for his first class to start. He couldn't feel Sasha's gaze on him, and to be fair, he never could. She was good at making herself unseen or felt when she wanted to. Dillon just hoped she didn't make his college life super weird(er than it already was.)
-.-
Not everything sucked though. Stan and Carla felt closer than ever, and with their employees watching their boys, they could give each other some couple time.
In the nice restaurant, both elegantly dressed, they talked about their babies, how Dillon was growing into a man and how their little Diego was wowing his teachers.
"He's already a year ahead, it'll be harder to make friends if we let him skip another." Carla reasoned as she gently shook her glass of wine. "I don't want him struggling on the social side of things. He needs to interact to learn how to handle other people once he's older." She pouted. "I don't want him to be like Ford."
Stan deadpanned. "That's a very direct way to put it."
"You know I'm right! He's very clever, like your brother, and he already tries to keep apart from other kids, just like your brother did. And he doesn't have an awesome sibling at school protecting him." Carla looked at Stan. "I mean, Diego's much better at defending himself, and he isn't being bullied like Ford was, but he's younger than the other kids in his classes right now, and there's a disconnect. I'm worried, you know?"
Stan nodded. "Alright, we won't let him skip anymore grades, but I don't want him getting bored because the work is too easy. He's not entirely like Ford. My brother would just find more work for himself to do, instead of going to have fun. Diego just doesn't want to do his homework if it's boring and...he goes to have fun" That attitude is definitely something Diego got from him...
"Well, I'd like for Diego to make more friends, perhaps we could arrange some kind of study group for him and his classmates? So they have a chance to hang out after school and get to know each other?" Carla suggested.
"Ughhh it's so neeerrdy!" Stan complained. "Why cant he like soccer or something." Carla huffed at him and Stan took a gulp of his drink. "Fine, Fine. Nerd group with nerd friends"
"Well, we could ask Diego what he wants to do." Carla finally decided. Because Diego's thoughts and feelings on this matter were the most important.
Of course, what they got when they asked Diego was a cheerful, "I wanna study at uncwle Ford's science Center!" The four year old jumped on the couch.
And Stan deadpanned, "Not until you're out of high school." Because really? First Dipper, and now his own son! And he was a baby! Carla coughed. "Well, seeing as you're still in preschool, you've got a long way to go before we can allow you to study at the Center. But, I'm sure if you keep up working hard, and get good grades in school, you'll be able to apply for an internship there in the future."
Diego cheered. "Yay! Itwernship!"
Stan had his face buried in his hands. He couldn't fucking believe this.
-.-
"I cant fuckin' believe this." Stan complained at Dillon as he walked towards the office of the Dean. "Why dont you fuckin' read your papers, son?"
"It's just some stuff you can easily solve by presenting the missing papers!" Dillon was a few months into college and he was dying . And now he was having trouble with the tuition because of stupid misplaced paperwork!
"If they make me pay more, I'll send you to Ford's Center as punishment." Stan grumbled.
"Noooooo!"
The two waited (easily ignoring Sasha huddling on top of a shelf) until the secretary told them they could go in. Dillon messed with his phone and Stan answered some messages with a scowl. And he was wearing glasses in public. How embarrassing! Curse you, useless eyes!
A professor passing by stopped dead when he spotted Stan. A wide eyed look of eagerness came over that man's face as he stepped in front of Stan, stopping him from following Dillon into the office. Stan blinked. The heck? "Hey, what're you-"
"S-Stanford Pines? Y-yes?" The professor practically gushed. "I've read a-all your papers! I use your work for most of my classes! Ah, huge fan, um, sorry I'm not making much sense am I?" The man rattled off rapid fire. "It's such an honor to meet you Dr. Pines! I'm Stein Wallruf, I teach Zoology. And I have to say, ever since I read your work, I've been wanting to branch into Cryptozoology as well!"
Stan blinked as Dillon covered his mouth to muffle his laughter. What the fuck? Seriously, this guy thought he was FORD just because he was wearing glasses?! Did Stan look like a nerd?! And the guy just kept going on and on? He looked young, just older than Dillon, probably didn't know how to keep it cool yet.
"Yeah, yeah. Science and scary creatures with three eyes. Totally." Stan turned to leave. "I was thinking of adding Gravity Falls' fauna in new classifications-uh-I actually sent a few letters for it, it's my Phd and-"
"Sorry, he's busy." Dillon grinned at the teacher and steered his dad away into the office. "Come on, Uncle Ford!" the door closed behind them.
Safe behind the door, Dillon was giggling hysterically. Stan pointed a finger at him. "I swear if you tell your uncles about this, you're dead to me." Dillon only laughed harder. "I-I can-'t believe he-he thought you were-" Dillon was coughing as he struggled to breathe through his laughter. The counsellor stared at the two of them. "Ah… are you here to discuss the tuition or?"
"Yes." Stan deadpanned, sitting down. He barely noticed Sasha now standing behind the counsellor, who didn't notice the battle maid bodyguard at all.
After this little incident, Stan wasn't teased by his youngest brothers, so he knew Dillon didn't go around as a snitch. Good. For his own good, he better keep his yap shut. Ford did comment he got some letters from someone using his research as base for their own research and he sounded so proud of it. Stan couldn't help but grin at that. Yeah, his brother was doing well, and happy. And that was all Stan really cared about.
Dillon looked around. "...has anyone seen Sasha?" he asked.
"Izzat a trick question?" Stan deadpanned. The family was sitting together for dinner and Dillon just had the strangest feeling. "I'm being serious, dad. I think… she's not here…" Dillon continued looking around, and even up at the ceiling. Carla rolled her eyes. "Sasha doesn't work 24/7. She has her own schedule. You're here, at home. Of course she doesn't have to be on duty right now."
Dillon realized that was fair. He wouldn't want to work more than he needed to either. "I wonder what Sasha does when she's not here?"
Aaron hummed to himself as he got home. He lived in another apartment in the same building as his boss. Stan owned the whole building and got rent from the other tenants, on top of the money he made with Stanco. And Aaron, as Stan's personal driver, got to live here for a much, much reduced rent. He wasn't sure if the idea came from his boss' heart or his wife. Stan was a good man but he was usually greedy in terms of money. No matter the reason, Aaron was glad for this, since getting a good apartment in a good location in New York was pretty much impossible unless you had the connections or cash anyway. He relaxed onto his couch with a groan.
There was a pleasant silence.
And then Aaron looked up. "Are you going to be up there all night?"
Sasha dropped down from the lighting fixture, the lights didn't even move. Aaron was never going to stop being impressed by that. "So?" He grinned. "Are you going to join me on the couch or not?" he teased. Sasha raised an eyebrow. "And leave myself open to attack?"
"I poke you once and you never let me forget." Aaron laughed. Sasha huffed, folding her arms. "The fact that you managed to poke me spoke volumes of your threat level."
"Actually, I'm pretty sure it was just because you let me." Aaron leaned back on the couch, kicking his shoes off and lounging quite relaxed on the piece of furniture. Sasha didn't look away, but she did deadpan, "You have no proof."
"Keep trying to tell me that. I know you let me get close enough to get a poke in." Aaron was still grinning. He clicked on his Nexflit to scroll through the available shows. "Hey, the Stupendous English Cooking Show has a new season." Sasha slid seamlessly into one of the other couches. Aaron hid a smile. The two sat quietly in each other's company as they watched the show.
-.-
Stan was complaining. He did that a lot. But it was usually towards his brother who bore the burden of listening. Unfortunately for Dillon, none of his uncles were available and now his dad was complaining at HIM.
About FOOTBALL.
Dillon literally couldn't care less. Sure, there was a guy he thought was cute in his team, him and Phillip thought he looked great with the uniform, but Dillon didn't like football! It was just a sport that was a big deal to his family, but Dillon wasn't all that interested in it. He'd tried to be, when he was a kid, but could never get into the sport like other people did.
And the subject matter of his dad's complaints were just...
"Who cares if they're winning the games? Maybe they got a good coach or something." Apparently this one team that always did terribly, was suddenly winning games left and right and dad was suspicious.
"Nah nah, listen boy. This team has always lost. Always. Defeated since the 1970s! It's IMPOSSIBLE that they're SUDDENLY winning!" Stan narrowed his eyes. It was super suspicious. And even worse- It might cost him and his team the victory at this rate! Well, Stan had faith in his team, but some of those games he'd seen with that other team looked inhumanly one sided. And for the life of him, Stan couldn't figure out why. But it was unnatural. Strange and suspicious. And while he would have suspected substance abuse, the other teams had suspected that too, and demanded for them to get tested.
They turned up negative.
But Stan refused to let it go. There was something going on here. There had to be.
Miz was busy with Ford and teaching the reptile kid how to read, Shermie wouldn't help (and even told Stan that it wasn't a big deal), so Stan had only one person left to ask for help.
Sebastian didn't seem that convinced that something was going on ("They might have gotten a good coach?" "No they didn't!") so Seb, being a good brother, decided to help figure out what was the big deal.
He sat down to see some videos of their games. (He tried looking into the past himself, got a heavy nosebleed and passed out). Now, Seb didn't know how to play, but they didn't seem all that strong and coordinated. In fact, they only managed to get the ball from one side to the other because the other team kept slipping or messing up!
In another video, he saw the same, but the other team kept sneezing so hard they stopped running. Hmmmm~ It wasn't just one guy sneezing, it was the ENTIRE TEAM sneezing… Even the COACH!
In another video, the players kept scratching themselves, shouting about how itchy they felt.
"Ok this is weird. It's like someone's doing it on purpose..." Seb rubbed his chin. Sneezing powder placed into the other team's clothes? Itching powder? Rubbing butter along their gloves? Seb could think of all sorts of ways teams could sabotage each other (being the expert of sabotaging businesses himself~)… but the weirdest part was how the investigations showed that there was nothing wrong with any of the players or their equipment...
"Seb, our game is in 2 weeks!" Stan agonized and Seb nodded at him. (It was cool how he could just go and visit anytime he wanted now, without having to worry about travel time. Teleporting was awesome). He put his hands on Stan's shoulders. "Don't worry, we're going to solve this and your team will kick their butts!" Seb hit Stan's head with his forehead and both groaned.
"What was that for?!"
"I'm sorry, it looked better in my head…" Seb groaned. "But there is something really suspicious going on…"
Stan rubbed his head. "Can't you just ask Miz? She's all knowing, right?"
Seb twitched. Yeah… but… well, a part of Seb felt a little miffed that his own All Seeing Eye wasn't working right. Not since he became human. It really sucked. "Well, she's busy. And I want to see if I can figure this out myself." It wasn't just a pride thing, he needed to practice with his powers more anyway. So why not try it on something that wasn't too dangerous?
"Alright, as long as something is done. I'm… worried." Stan admitted, a rare show to hesitation in his tone. Seb's expression softened. "You're worried about your team?"
"Those kids work really hard. They've been training under me for months now. If anything happens to them…"
"I get it. Don't worry. I'll figure this out." Seb patted Stan's back. "Really? How?" Stan blinked at his brother.
Seb let out a low chuckle, it continued and grew in speed and volume until Seb was cackling wildly with his head thrown back. He abruptly stopped and straightened up, pointing at Stan. "Why, my dear brother, we will investigate!" Seb posed dramatically. "I'll be Holmes and you'll be my Watson!"
Stan raised an eyebrow. "This is dumb."
"Onward my sleuthing partner! The truth awAITS!" Seb ran off.
"So you're just gonna be observing me and my team while I train them?" Stan deadpanned. Sebastian shrugged. "It's a start. And this way, I'll be here to see if anything happens. Like, if someone is hiding behind the bushes and shoots someone with a poison dart!"
"Wait, we're gonna get poisoned?!" One of Stan's 'students' cried.
That caused the other guys to crowd together and start shouting and panicking.
Stan gave Seb a stare. "Thanks." he said sarcastically.
Seb had the decency to grin sheepishly and Stan blew his whistle. "Ok, shut the fuck up you all!" He massaged his eyes. "You see, I've been having some suspicions about the losers from Minnesota, about how they're all suddenly winning...My brother and I think they're cheating and sabotaging the other teams so...we gotta be careful."
"Are we going to die?!" One of them cried and Seb frowned.
"None of the other teams have died. You're gonna be fine." Stan assured them. "The incidents were mainly things like sneezing powder or some shit like that. My bro and I will get to the bottom of this, I want you to train hard, not go with strangers or drink weird shit you're offered, and we'll handle the rest." Stan nudged Seb's arm.
"Wow...It's so cool we'll get help from your scientist brother!"
"EXCUsE me?!" Seb screamed. "Bitch, I'm way better than 'scientist brother'!" He threatened the player, who was at least a head taller than him.
(Stan was trying very hard not to laugh. Hah! Now it was Seb's turn to get mistaken for Ford.)
After this little incident, Stan went back to training them and Seb sat down to observe the group. Hum~~
Half an hour passed and nothing happened. According to the testimonies of the other players, they were feeling crappy even before the games. So something should be happening.
So where was the crapiness?
Seb shrieked when a bird flew too close to him and almost threw his phone at it. The bird flew towards the field, and a bunch of more pigeons followed back, making the brunet cry and duck.
Stan watched in shock as the fucking bird started pooping all over the field and his boys went nuts screaming and trying to go back to the locker rooms.
"Is this the weirdness?" Stan shouted as he used his jacket as a shield
"It's definitely the weird thing!" Seb cried back. He lit his hand on fire once all the other players were gone and threw it at the nearest pigeon. It ignited and burned, making the rest of the birds scatter and fly away. But not before they all pooped some more. Seb shuddered. "Ew! Ewewewewewewwww!" he tried to cover himself so none of that shit would get on him, "I think I would have prefered the poison!"
Stan grimaced and threw his jacket away. "What now?"
Seb opened his mouth but Stan suddenly doubled a little in pain, holding his stomach. "Uuuggghhh..."
"WHAT?! WHAT DID THEY DO?" Seb stared at his brother.
"I-I gotta go to the bathroom, be right back!" Stan ran away, leaving Seb alone in his seat. This was more complicated than he thought…
"WHY IS EVERYONE IN THE BATHROOM!" He heard Stan scream (quite loud) and Seb winced. Ok, so the other team did something, and he didn't even notice! Dammit! Seb glared around him, trying so very hard to 'see' or 'feel' something, anything at all!
Come on! Work you stupid magical powers, work!
Seb scrunched up his face as he concentrated. Something… anything. Any trace of magic…
A tingling sensation
Sebastian sneezed.
He rubbed his nose, sniffling. "Augh… damn feathers." He glared at the shit covered grass and gray feathers everywhere. He thought he almost had it too. But damn feathers. He shook his head. "Dammit!" He shuddered as he picked his way through the field, trying to avoid the pools of shit. "But there was definitely something." he narrowed his eyes. Which meant magic WAS involved.
Who could make spells so simple, yet so annoying? Did the other team hire a witch? Were they doing voodoo or dark magic shit? What if they got the team's hair or shirt and they're using it to annoy them? Or summoning pigeons in this case. What kind of magic could do that?
They're clearly not trying to kill their opponents, just make them miserable and distracted enough to be unable to concentrate. Meaning, sending the entire team to the bathroom. Looks like they all suddenly got stomach aches and diarrhea. Seb shuddered. He was glad he wasn't technically being targeted by whatever curse this was.
Seb knew there was some magic happening here. But he didn't have proof. Nor did he know who or how the curse was being placed. But he was going to figure it out, find the person who did this, and punch them in the face.
Splat.
Or set them on fire. Either one worked for him. Hell, he didn't even need solid evidence or proof that the other team did something, he was just going to set them on fire.
Why? What reason could Sebastian have for the impending violent murder of a whole football team?
Some bird poop got on his clothes. And there would be hell to pay.
Of course, Sebastian wasn't stupid. He wasn't going to go right up to the other team and start tossing fireballs around.
For one thing, he'd get caught super quick and then Wanda would be so annoyed at him.
So Sebastian got himself a disguise!
More specifically…
"Heeeey Miz!" Sebastian drawled. Miz looked up from the papers she was writing on (which seemed to be a ledger?) "What's up, Seb?"
"You know how you made Ford a dragon vessel he could use?"
She nodded. "Yeah." There was a faint blush on her face as she wiggled back and forth. "He was so handsome…"
….yeah, Seb wasn't touching that with a 10 foot pole.
"Well can you build me a magical creature construct too? Just something I can use for… a few days?" Seb grinned wide.
"Sure. What kind of construct do you want?" Miz flipped a few pages, still working. She was listening, but wasn't quite giving Seb her full attention. That was fine with him. "WELL, I was thinking something that can spit fire and acid or something." Seb barely held back a cackle.
"Is it because of the opponent team sending curses at Stan's team?" Of course she knew, and Seb sometimes thought very loudly. Hm, looks like she still had to tighten her mental blocks so she didn't hear people when they were being so loud.
"And because I had to burn a comfortable shirt because of their shit attack!" Seb screamed, still not over it. Wanda said she'd buy him another, but it wasn't the same!
"What are you planning to do with them? I can't let you kill them for this, you know that." She finally looked up. "They haven't tried to kill you after all. And they haven't killed anyone else either."
Seb whined. "I could always scare them into giving up on this… curse? They're really cursing us, huh?" Well, getting Miz's confirmation was good. It means he was correct.
Miz hummed. She really wanted to solve this for Seb, but he looked so determined to help his brother on his own, she couldn't take that away from him. "Fine, you'll get a vessel, but no killing, only scaring. And I'll be watching so you don't go overboard." She gave her soul brother a stern look and he nodded vigorously. "I'm serious, Seb. I don't want mommy getting mad at you."
Seb shuddered. Yeah, he didn't want that either. Wanda was scary sometimes.
-.-
The losers from Minnesota, as people called them, were celebrating in a small bar they rented out for the night.
"Cheers to another impending victory!" One of them laughed. Their plan was working flawlessly! One more game and the trophy was theirs!
"Oh, just imagine the publicity we'll get after defeating Pines' team!"
"We'll finally get proper sponsorships and payment for our hard work!" another one cheered.
"What hard work? We don't even practice anymore." One of them mumbled bitterly. The guy beside him nudged his shoulder roughly. "We don't need to! Besides, what has actually training and working hard gotten us? Nowhere, that's what. So why not just have this? We've been working and working for years and nothing to show for it. I'm sick of that!"
"Cheers to cursing the other teams!" one of them roared.
The lights in the bar went out. One of them blinked. "Seriously? A black out?"
Everyone could still see a little bit from the emergency light above the bar as it glowed, bathing them all in a dim yellow.
"It's fine, we got our phones." Another one said as he turned on the flashlight function. Everyone else laughed. The light flickered and died. The laughing stopped.
"Um… what's…" people were pulling out their phones and tapping at them, but they were dead. "Fuck, I was sure I still had at least 30% battery."
"Dude, all of our phones died. That's… not normal."
"Shit, did someone counter-curse us?" One of them was beginning to panic. "No, that can't happen. John says he put up a counter against that."
They turned to John. "Um… yeah, it… should prevent my Curse from being rebounded back on us." The man frowned. "I mean, according to the spell I found. A-and if someone else cursed us, the other spell I casted would alert me. So this isn't some kinda curse."
The emergency light blinked out for a second before turning back on, startling them. "Shit. We need to get outside before that light turns off too." The men started getting up from their stools, feeling their way around. The emergency continued blinking slowly.
Everyone would go still when the light went out, not trusting themselves to move without getting hurt.
"Hey… wasn't the light over there before?"
They looked up. The light was still coming from the ceiling, but it was somewhere else now. Closer to them. It blinked out again.
Everyone was quiet now, not moving a muscle. The light blinked back on. It was somewhere else now. "What the fuck?" someone whispered. The light blinked out again.
"H-hey… doesn't it almost seem like…" one of them had a trace of dawning horror in his voice.
The light blinked back on, closer.
"...like it's blinking ?"
"Of course it's blinking, what the heck are you talking about?"
"No, I mean… it's… the way it blinks out and on… like…"
The light blinked out again. And then reappeared, much closer, right above them.
"...like an eye-"
This close, they could see something they hadn't noticed before. The odd shadows about the light. Almost looked like… a face…
There was a quiet chittering noise and the 'face' stretched into a wide smile filled with needle-like teeth.
"""AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"""
Miz twitched. "Geez, what? I guess they don't like Cyclopnids."
Sebastian cackled (or rather, he made clicking sounds) as he wrapped the men up in his silk. Wow. Being a giant alien spider monster was great! He heaved and spat out another glob of webbing. This part was kinda gross though.
The grown men had been reduced to sobbing messes. They were crying or begging for Seb not to eat them. Seb chittered at them. "Those who curse others will get their comeuppance~" he reached a hard chitinous leg out to poke one of them. "I am the resentment of those you've wronged."
They sobbed harder. Some were apologizing now. "We won't do it anymore! Please don't eat us!"
"Shit I knew using black magic was going to come back and bite us!"
"You will be punished for your crimes."
They sobbed harder.
"Unless…"
"What? We'll do anything, just please don't kill us!"
"Remove the curse and never dabble in the arcane arts for the sake of harming others again. Or else… I will return and finish what I started…"
John whimpered. "I'll do it! I-I'll remove the curse! Please don't eat us!"
Well, that was easy. Sebastian was surprised by it. But then again, he didn't realize just how frightening his vessel was. The singular, glowing yellow eye. The 16 legs with hooked ends. The way his head split open into a gaping maw of teeth and dripping liquid webbing. He was terrifying to look at.
So Sebastian watched John stutter out the commands to end the Curse, and he could actually feel the magic around them unravelling. Neat.
"Adequate. Do not forget. If you try anything like this again, the vengeance will once more summon me into this plane…"
And Sebastian skittered away, gripping the ceiling and scuttling along with his many legs back into the far reaches of the bar. He closed his eye, enveloping the room in darkness.
There was just heavy, panicked breathing for a few moments.
And then the lights turned back on.
And the men were still crying, this time in relief.
"Hey Stan!" Sebastian grinned at his brother. Stan screamed and threw the nearest object, a football, at the giant spider monster. "Get back you Cyclopnid scum! I ain't gettin' nibbled on again!"
"Whoa dude, it's just me! Miz made me a vessel so I could go and scare the other team into breaking the curse."
Stanley nodded, not looking directly at him because he looked terrifying. "Right, cool. That's great. But can you… uh… get out of there now? Where's your real body anyway?"
"Back home, sleeping in bed." Sebastian shrugged. Speaking of which… "Hey Miz? I'm done here. Can you swap me back now?"
There was a twisting of space and Seb felt himself pulled out from the vessel and deposited back into his own human body, the spider-vessel crumbled into dust.
"Thanks Miz~" Sebastian called out. There was no response, but he grinned anyway. Having Miz around was so convenient.
"So." Stanley finally looked at him. "The curse is gone?"
"Yup." Sebastian popped the 'p'.
"Great!" Stanley cackled. "'Cause my team is gonna CREAM those losers for all the shit they've done."
"I almost feel bad for them." Seb laughed along. The two brothers continued to laugh maniacally even as the rest of Stan's team came out and laid down. ("Ugh, my stomach aches' finally gone.")
"Can't wait for the next game." Sebastian brushed his hair back. "I mean, you're gonna crush them. Since they don't practice anymore."
"Even if it's an easy victory, doesn't mean I won't still be working my team hard during training." Stan grumbled. "Did that other team really want to win so badly?" he just couldn't understand why they'd stoop so low as to curse their opponents.
Seb thought about it. Working hard, only to continue to fail over and over again? He heard them complain about that. Yeah, he could… sort of relate. "Look, don't be too hard on them. They just got desperate." he rubbed his arm. "I mean, it wasn't cool of them to do this in the first place, but they were working for years and never made anything of themselves."
"Well they should just try harder than." Stanley scoffed, not seeing the issue here.
"And what if no amount of trying ever helped?" Sebastian asked quietly. "What if no one ever believed in you, or gave you any support or help?" They mentioned they didn't have any good sponsors. Hell, did they even have a coach? Sebastian couldn't help feeling a little bad for them.
Stanley gave Seb a long look. "They're not you." he said simply.
"I know." Seb sighed. "But I'm a little worried about what's gonna happen to them after this."
"They'll start losing again." Stan shrugged. "If they really can't make it, they shouldn't continue this."
Seb sighed. "I guess. I just… don't feel right about this. I mean, I was mad at them, still am. I just kinda feel bad about their situation too."
Stanley sighed. "Alright. Well, my team ain't gonna go easy on them. We're not gonna throw the match just 'cause we feel bad for them. Besides, the fact that they stooped to cursing people isn't okay. They're in the wrong here."
"...right." Sebastian sighed. Yeah, they did curse many teams. Sure, no one was seriously hurt, but it was still a dick move. Some of the other teams had been humiliated on the field and suffered a lot of fan backlash for it. So… yeah… the situation was a mess and Seb realized he didn't really want to try and figure out how to deal with it.
Well, as long as that team didn't go around cursing people anymore, it was all good. So… looks like this wasn't their problem anymore.
Miz hummed as she made her way to the locker room. She didn't go right in, but she did knock on the door.
A half dressed man opened it, balked at the sight of her and covered himself with his towel. "H-heck! What-"
"May I speak to John, please?" Miz asked politely. The man stared at her for a moment before calling back behind him, "Uh… John? There's a little girl here asking ta see you."
"What?" The former-curse giver came over, mostly dressed. Their team was finally training again, since they could no longer rely on magic to sabotage the other team. He stared at the little girl smiling up at him. "Um… can I help you?"
"What is it that you want?" Miz asked him. "You, and your team. Do you really want to keep playing football?"
John blinked. Who the heck was this kid? "Uh…" the other men, who were listening in, shuffled nervously. "I mean… we're kinda… thinking of giving up, to be honest." one of them let slip before covering his mouth. He hadn't meant to say that aloud. He wasn't sure why he said it.
And the little girl was still smiling at them all.
"You wanna know what you're good at?" she asked John. "You have a talent for Magic, even as untrained as you are." she leaned to the side, glancing up at the rest of the team. "You're all strong. Hard working. But I think you've lost sight of the point ." Her smile was gentle. Inviting. "Why did you start playing football to begin with?"
And they all went quiet. They thought about it.
And it turned out, most of them didn't even care about football anymore. Some only played because their families told them to. Some only played because they wanted to be popular. There were a few who had a genuine love of the game, and wanted to actually be a proper player. Miz tilted her head at their responses and nodded. "Alright. Well, here's what you should do…"
"What?!" Stan stared down at his niece. Miz pouted. "They want to actually play football. They're not bad at it, but the rest of their team isn't as good, and it's not fair that they don't get to play on the level that they're capable of just because of that."
"But why'd you bring them to me?!" Stan complained.
"Because you're good, deep inside your heart!" Miz insisted. "And you're capable of charity for those who are in need!"
"No I ain't!" Stan cried. "If these brats want me to coach them, they'll have to pay me, like, they would have to pay me even MORE for all the shit they made us go through!"
Miz stared at Stan with a deadpan look and then said, "I'll give you 10% of my profits for a year."
"Welcome to Stanely's Football practice!" Stan grinned at the very bemused men.
Miz rolled her eyes. Well, whatever. This was Stan's problem now. She turned her attention back to the other men, and how they were now pursuing other careers that they actually cared more about. Those who wanted fame and recognition… well, she suggested going into Sketch Comedy or some other acting-type of thing. They were confused as to why, but Miz insisted.
And as for John…
"You… want to train me in magic?" The man gasped. "I can't. The spider monster would come back to eat me if I-"
"He'll only come after you if you ever use magic to harm or curse another person." Miz assured him. "I'm just interested in you being able to cast magic in the first place. Not everyone can, even if they have the instructions. You'd need to be in the right location to tap into leylines, or have a magic organ sack, or have a natural aptitude to be able to tap into the ambient magic in the air… or having some sort of self generating magical energy source within you… or you made a contract to some patron magical creature or god…"
"Ok, I get it." John waved his hand. "So… what? I'm special?"
"Special enough. You've got a gift, kid. And I want to nurture it." The little girl somehow made it sound like she was doing him a huge favor. More than that, "Aren't you the kid here?" John deadpanned.
"I am an immortal dragon! Thank you very much." Miz huffed. John seemed very interested in that statement. "And I have a proposal for you… not quite a Deal, but I think you'll like it." she grinned at him.
"I'm listening." John felt himself smile as well.
"Well, funny enough, from what I've seen of you, you're more suited to Healing and Protection spells… so…"
And Miz talked with John until they came to an agreement. She would teach him magic, in exchange, he would use his powers to help those in need. Set up safe spaces, like a temporary hidden magical area (mini-islands/glades) where they would be safe and could be met with a Care Unit to explain the Islands (Miz made more, setting up more areas and pouring her power in to get her plans in motion). So people and families who were struggling with survival would have a place they could live, without fear of paying rent or starving to death. Multiple Islands across America (Miz needed time to work her powers, it took a lot out of her, so she hadn't gotten worldwide yet) where people could live. And while it was just a small thing, it was still a way to help people. To make the world just a little bit better. So that she wouldn't be tempted to just take the entire world over out of sheer frustration.
So that she wouldn't become an 'evil' Bill Cipher, so that the Pines wouldn't hate her.
They agreed to letting her make the Island, so making more wasn't a problem. Even if she didn't tell them about it. Not yet. She would. She just needed to see if it worked first.
And John would be her herald, wandering America and helping those in need. In exchange, he could learn magic, he didn't need to work to get money for rent since he would be living in his own house on one of those Islands. And he would have all the free time he wanted to do whatever he wanted.
(Miz was going with the idea of giving people everything they wanted and needed, and seeing what they did with that freedom.)
(She did mark him, a subtle little thing to keep track of him in case he ever used her tutelage for the wrong reasons.)
Stan had to admit that despite his misgivings, those men were actually decent at football. Looks like they really needed a proper team to play with to truly improve. The other team just quit. It wasn't like they had any sponsors or such. They had never made it past the preliminary rounds before they started cheating anyway.
Because the Losers never showed up to the game against Stan's team the day the game was scheduled, they won by default, so...yay? His boys weren't very happy about the empty win, especially because of how hard they trained, thinking the bastards had been actually training and getting better. But...yay for money and more people loving them?
Some of his guys weren't very kind to the new fellas joining in, they weren't replacing their current positions of course, if they ever joined his team, they'd be back up, (back up OF the back up) but the few days they had come to train because Miz told him to, Stan might have seen some rough treatment between the young men, maybe even some aggressiveness that he let pass. Because he was a bitch. But he only gave them one chance to do it, because he was also kind of a decent person and he didn't tolerate bullying. Some hazing was alright on the first few days, but anything past that was stomped down with a, "Grow up and get back to practice. Don't be a dick."
"Look, I can evaluate you and see if any other teams might want to take you on. But that's about it. If you want to join my team, the boys'll need to agree to it first." Stan told the Losers. They nodded. "The chance to train under you is already more than we thought we'd ever get."
"I'm only trainin' ya for the money." Stan grumbled. He wasn't going to admit he actually kinda liked these brats. Nope. He didn't like them at all!
Miz came in to drop off a check for the money as part of the agreement between her and Stan. She wondered if he was secretly some kind of dragon with how greedy and hoarding he was. (Maybe a secret supernatural ancestor? She'll have to search for that in their family tree.) Still, she didn't really mind handing over a percentage of the profits from Void Deliveries. Besides, Stan sometimes invited her out to dinner at fancy restaurants, so it all balanced out in the end.
"Hey~" she called out. Stan looked up from his paperwork. "Oh, hi Miz."
She leaned over his desk. "Ugh, paperwork."
Stan chuckled. "Yeah, it sucks, but someone's gotta do it. Do ya need me to look over your stuff?" Miz brought her paperwork to get checked over by Stan sometimes. The whole financial paperwork stuff was something Miz struggled with because she thought it was boring. Miz nodded, waving a hand to summon them. There were legal issues with Stan looking them over, but neither of them cared. No cops around to know after all.
"Soo~" Miz drawled. "How're those kids doing?"
"Damn brats ain't half bad, I guess." Stan scanned through the pages quickly. Not because he was skimming, but because he could easily read and calculate the numbers in his head. He handed the pages back. "It's fine."
Miz heaved a sigh of relief. "Ugh. Hate this type of work. Too much like homework. And not the fun kind."
"Well I'm proud of you for doing it anyway." Stan grinned, having been told by Wanda that part of Miz's therapeutic treatment was to compliment and praise her when she did good on anything. This was easy, he did this for Seb too when he was on treatment as well!
Miz flushed, still not good at receiving said praise. "...kay."
Stan snorted. "Well, how've you been?"
"Oh, just spreading the knowledge of black magic, building secret bases, gaining more worshippers, gutting the capitalistic machine of it's cogs… you know, the basics." Miz shrugged.
Stan wasn't sure if she was joking or not. And he decided he didn't want to know either way. "Ok." he agreed before resolving to ignore all that.
Sometimes, it was easier to just ignore it.