Slices of Life and Family

by bluefrostyy

PART 3 of The life of Sebastian Pines! (Read that first, I doubt you'll understand what's going on) The story follows Seb's life after Gravity Falls. Bill was defeated, but the Pines family still have thousands of adventures together. Old characters will come back, new characters will make an appearance, all to accompany Seb through his journey as a human (Cowritten with Mizuuma)

41. Ch40 Pines-Friedmann twins Interlude

Hello! Some more of Zach and Zoe because we love them!

---

(April 2019)

Miz was getting bolder in her attempts to sneak Amanda out to hang out with the twins. Not the least of which, the twins' birthday party. They snuck over to Carol's house before the party, Miz told their parents that she was just taking the twins on a walk so they could finish the decorations without Zoe pulling them down. "Pssst! Amanda!" Zach whispered, knocking on her window as Miz held him up.

"But mom would notice if I'm gone for a whole day." Amanda sent glances back at her bedroom door, afraid of her mom finding out. Zach frowned and turned to his big sister. His eyes went all wide and his lips wobbled, knowing that look fixed every problem they had.

Miz caved instantly. "Ok, what do you think our plan should be?" Giving kids agency was good! Her own plan would have been replacing Amanda with a construct so they could keep the real one forever, but that might be too overkill in this case. So… time to see what the children can come up with.

"Pretend to be a grown up and distract missus Carol." Zoe suggested. Amanda looked Miz up and down. "I don't think mommy will be tricked by that."

"Pffth! You don't know my disguise skills!" Miz grinned.

So Amanda waited, choosing between her toys to bring over to the Pines house. Choosing was hard, but she brought her baby doll and they could play family! Zach was the daddy and she was the mommy. Amanda hummed. Zoe always wanted to be a tiger though. To be fair. Having a tiger in the family was pretty cool.

And during that time, Miz and Zoe planned it out some more. "So, pretend… pretend you're um… pretend you're...Amanda has a friend named Sally in school. So pretend you're Sally's mom." Zoe told her. "And that Sally was inviting Amanda over to play today. And that you're here to pick Amanda up to bring to the play date."

"...wouldn't that be suspicious as fuck? And wouldn't we get found out if Carol talks to Sally's mom at any point?"

"Yeah, but missus Carol is stupid." Zoe said with no trace of doubt or hesitation.

Well, ok, Miz kinda got her point. "Fine, you guys stay out of sight, Amanda will be coming out the front door with me." and she Flickered to see what Sally's mom looked and acted like before finding a place out of sight to shapeshift.

Five minutes later, she was chatting with Carol on the front porch about how nice it would be for the girls to play together. "Oh, Amanda didn't tell me she had plans for today." Carol blinked. Miz shrugged. "Well, you know kids, they forget things sometimes. I mean, I do too. In fact I forgot to turn the oven off before I came out here!"

Carol gasped. "AMANDA! Hurry up!"

"Coming!" Amanda, with her backpack slung over her shoulder, raced down the hall and did a double take at 'Sally's Mom' standing there, but she recovered quickly and gave her mom a quick hug goodbye before racing out the door.

The door was closed and Amanda looked still very confused. Did they tell Sally's mom to help so she could go play with the Pines? Would Sally be coming over too? Sally's mom just patted her head and when they made sure Carol wasn't close to the windows or something, they crossed the street to Seb and Wanda's house. "Have fun~" She said, before walking away. Amanda blinked and then she was gone.

Uh?

She didn't have time to think about it though, because Miz opened the door and quickly pulled her in. "Done! Now you three go have fun!" Miz gave them a thumbs up.

Miz watched the three kids run upstairs, laughing, and she smiled proudly. Seb, just walking by, looked at her. "Wait, was that Amanda?"

"Yeah, I kidnapped her. But don't worry, I'll return her tonight." Miz waved off.

Seb blinked at her before grinning. "Hahahaha nice!" Every day he hated Carol more, there was no week he didn't spend it arguing with that woman (one time she threatened to call the police on him), so he thought it was very appropriate to steal her child in response. Yup. Totally fine.

Good thing Wanda didn't know about this, as she had to go to work after giving the twins some hugs and kisses right before Amanda arrived. Seb was in charge for the day, and he almost wanted to ask Miz to bring Xin over to help chaperone. But Miz refused, since she wanted to be herself today.

So while Miz got to play with the children, Seb had to wait in the front door for the rest of the guests.

Some other parents showed up with their children. Some parents were allowed to stay, some were given stern looks from Seb (and a contained growl). "Your kid's here because they're friends with my daughter and son ," he told them. "You however, I don't like you."

Some of them winced. "Look, I might not agree with what you're doing with your dau- kids." One of them corrected herself. "But even I wouldn't be yelling at a child during their birthday."

Seb gave them an even stare. "Be that as it may, the party is until seven tonight. You can come pick up your kid then." he waved with a small grin and closed the door on them.

Miz was quick to gather up all the children together in the yard. Some of the parents were milling around, chatting and catching up with each other.

"Ok kids~ Who wants to see a magic show?" Miz grinned at them.

"""Yaaaaay!"""

Miz found it plenty easy to keep the kids distracted while the adults got all the food and presents put out. Some of the parents had stopped to watch the show as well. Miz didn't do anything too flashy, she mainly pulled balloon animals and candy out of mysterious places, like from behind her back, or under her dress, or out of the grass. The kids even made requests for balloon animals. Miz made sure everyone got one. "And for my next trick… I'll need a volunteer~"

"OOH! MEEE!" Many kids screamed, bouncing in place. Miz hummed, walking up and down the backyard between where they were seated. "Ok, how about this? All of you line up by height! Tallest in front of me and shorter ones behind."

The kids all got up, running around and measuring each other while laughing. Miz glanced over at the parents and Seb, who were finished setting up the food (Miz had told Seb that humans like having a potluck-type parties where they bring some food and snacks) and she grinned at them. "Come on, you guys are invited to try to, if you wanna be part of this magic show!"

"Your daughter seems very excited to be the little ringleader here." One of the other parents commented.

"She's just like that." Seb laughed. She liked making the kids happy, one of the reasons Seb adored her demon friend.

Made dad life so much easier for him.

"How has she been adapting to life in America, by the way? I'm amazed she doesn't have an accent." another commented as the adults started lining up as well.

"Well, her brother, Xin, was married to an American, so she grew up bilingual." Seb shrugged as he bullshitted to his adult friends. "She's still a little shy when it comes to approaching other kids, but if the kids are already here, she's perfectly fine with hanging out with them all."

"Ok, is that everyone?" Miz walked up and down the line of adults and kids. "Alright! All of you hold out your hands." Everyone did. "Now, I'm going to…" Miz waved her hands around in a circular motion, pulling out a piece of 'specialty' paper, and everyone gasped as a ball of fire appeared in her hands. "Don't worry, it's not hot at all." she assured them all. "I'm going to hand this to the first person in line, and you just have to pass it onto the next person in line. And once again, it's not hot. You can even check for yourself." she held it out to the first person in line, a tall father.

The man was still very confused and worried at the freaking fire that appeared out of nowhere. He looked back at Seb, who was deadpanning as if he wasn't shocked at all (which he wasn't. He could also make fire!). He nervously grabbed it (because his son was watching and he was a brave man) and hummed when he realized that, indeed, it wasn't hot at all.

"Oh, this is cool!" the man laughed, bouncing the ball of fire up and down in his hands. He turned to the next person in line and passed the fire over. And Miz made another ball of fire to hand to him once his hands were empty. Everyone down the line let out amazed sounds as Miz's fireballs were passed down the line. Once everyone had their own ball of fire (the children were screaming in excitement over being able to hold MAGICAL FIRE) Miz grinned at them all. "Now, throw that ball into the sky as hard as you can!"

Everyone reared their hands back and threw. Some of the balls went up higher than others, but they all flew into the air and burst into heatless fireworks. Everyone gasped before cheering and clapping.

"Your daughter's quite talented!" One of the fathers gasped. "How did she do that? Can I learn? Did she learn from the internet?!"

"I don't know all her secrets. But she's really into science and stuff. Even goes to my brother's science center sometimes." Seb didn't fully lie.

The children were all jumping around and screaming, asking to know how Miz did that. "Well~" Miz grinned at them all. She knelt in the grass and began tracing a little circle. "Now, not everyone can do magic, and most of the time you'd need to be in a location that has enough ambient energy to do so…"

Yes, she was going to teach the children how to use magic. Because why not? She was already starting to teach the kids on the Island how to do simple spells with glyphs after all. And… she was hoping that magic being known as a 'thing' would make things easier for the twins once they were older. If their powers got stronger, and they did stuff like catch on fire like Sebastian sometimes did, they'd have an excuse.

Was revealing 'magic' to the world an issue? Yes, but fuck it. She didn't really care anymore. She was finally getting some of an idea of what she wanted to do to 'fix' things. And with Ford's research exposing the existence of Cryptids to the scientific world (even if normal people still didn't fully believe it yet) she decided she had nothing to lose at this point.

Also, if what little she heard from the parents meant anything, they all thought this was a science thing, not real magic. They assumed Miz was just doing all the mysticism stuff for the children's sake.

The party went off without a hitch, though some of the kids complained about being unable to get their magic circles to work. ("Don't worry, you'll get it, feel free to come over for more magic lessons after school, if you want? Just ask your parents.") And if this helped to get the kids to want to hang out with Zach and Zoe more, to be their friends? Well, that was just a plus. (Miz didn't like to admit it, but she was just as manipulative as her brother BlueBill was, she simply had very different intentions.)

Miz glanced at the little twins, so happy to play with the neighbors' kids and school friends. They deserved to be happy, to have this moment and feel like the most special babies in the world on their birthday, and Miz would be there to ensure that. (And she had to admit, the feeling of being surrounded by children was… nice.)

When the sky started darkening, parents said bye, taking their whining kids home and thanking Seb and Miz for the fun evening. Seb glanced at his kiddos, going to his room to get Sir Bedazzle out of his prison. "I'm glad this birthday went well." He'd die and take everyone with him if his babies' birthday was ruined again.

"I'm gonna be clear, as much as I'm happy you guys got Amanda to be here, you need to return our kidnapee home… And annoy Carol for me." Sebastian said dramatically.

Miz groaned. She wanted to keep her kidnapped kid! She still changed forms and 'Sally's mom' showed up to tell Amanda it was time to go home. It would be too suspicious to keep her, even if she wanted to. Carol didn't notice anything amiss. Miz was rather surprised actually.

In this way, she was able to let Amanda come over more often.

And some other kids at school sometimes came over as well, where Miz would show them harmless glyphs and let out enough energy into the air to let them actually activate them while they were near her, otherwise, they wouldn't be able to use them. She also had these afterschool playdates double as a study session as she helped them with their homework, and even taught them more on the subjects.

Miz did all sorts of things behind the scenes. Like making some Deals with the school administration to ensure Amanda would be in the same class as the twins next school year, in September. Carol was raging at the director about that, but Miz had offered the woman waaaay too much to have her back out of this Deal. She could handle an angry Karen. She was promised free repairs to everything in the entire school building and the grounds surrounding it, in exchange for just one class change. The director wasn't going to turn that down.

Fixing and improving everything was easy for Miz. And if that meant the place was safer for her precious siblings, then who was going to complain if she also upgraded all their equipment? Better kitchen, better lighting, better computers… the director was nearly jumping for joy at all this stuff she was getting for free for her school building.

So she could handle Carol cursing her out.

This didn't help the fact that Zach and Zoe weren't in the same class as Amanda currently, but it was fine. They were willing to wait for when they entered 1st grade.

Meanwhile, in their own class, Georgie, who'd been somewhat awkward around them ever since his mom had a long talk with him about how it was very rude to grab someone and hold their hand without permission. Especially if they told him to 'let go' or 'stop'. And Georgie hadn't been invited to Zach and Zoe's birthday, which he was a little sad about. (And, a small selfish part of Georgie, as he was still a kid, wanted to go, because some kids were saying about how they were taught real magic and he would have loved to learn too).

And truthfully, he missed being able to play with them, but Zoe always hissed at him whenever he came near and it made Georgie feel bad.

So one day, during free time, he walked over, and flinched when Zoe began hissing again. "I…" Georgie fiddled with his fingers. "I'm sorry!" he said, bowing his head.

Zach blinked. Even Zoe stopped hissing in surprise. Zach stared. "Um…"

"I just wanted to say sorry." Georgie continued. "I'm sorry I grabbed you, Zu-Zach." he quickly corrected himself. He still wasn't used to it, but he was trying hard to remember. It was like how he liked being called Georgie instead of Georgius! This was the same thing, right? "I'm sorry I pulled on you. Can we… still be friends?"

Zach blinked again. And then he smiled. "Sure." he was currently drawing with Zoe. He pulled out more paper and put it next to him, scooting over to make room. "Apology accepted."

Georgie's face lit up with a smile and he sat down to draw with them. The two boys chatted lightly about what they were going to draw, while Zoe watched Georgie suspiciously. When the boy actually seemed like he just wanted to hang out, and continued to call her brother by his preferred name, Zoe finally relaxed.

And Georgie was invited over for playdates/study sessions with the rest of their friends.

"Oh, new friend?" Miz asked, being in charge of watching the kids while Seb worked in his office (like a boring old man). She directed the kids to the living room, where Amanda was already waiting for them.

"Yeah, this is Georgie. He 's nice now." Zach introduced. Miz hummed. "Well, shoes off and off to the living room with you. I'm gonna bring out some cookies." she ruffled Zach's hair before going off to the kitchen to check on the latest batch of cookies. She liked having Zach and Zoe's friends test them out, as she was trying to make better cookies to give Fordsie~

"Come on, the sooner we get our homework done, the sooner we can play." Zach told Georgie, kicking off his shoes into the corner of the entranceway as he went. Georgie looked down and pulled his shoes off, placing them neatly in the doorway, before following Zach into the rest of the house. Zoe just tossed her shoes haphazardly as usual.

Aside from Amanda, Georgie and the twins, the other kids here right now were Michelle and Darkarai (yes, he was named after a Backpack Monster, his parents were crazy). The other kids sort of got bored over time when they couldn't do magic on their own and dropped off, but these two stayed. Michelle looked up and bounced in place. "I wonder what kind of cookies Miz is making today?"

Georgie blinked. "Cookies?"

Zach giggled. "Yup! Miz makes cookies once a week and we get to taste test them!"

Georgie was so glad he was good and apologized to Zach. That sounded like the most amazing thing Georgie had ever heard in his life.

The kids worked on their homework as Miz came out with a tray piled high with warm cookies and sippy cups of milk. She had made icebox checkerboard cookies today and the kids gasped at how cute they all looked.

.

Zoe, sensitive when it came to cute food, sobbed and ate them guiltily. Miz was talking about her process as she handed out the milk. "It's less sweet than most cookies, but they're nice and crisp, and the cuteness is the main point of it. I was actually thinking of making my next batch look like kitties."

"Noo! I would cry harder if I had to eat kitties!" Zoe sobbed. Georgie humned. So Zoe was capable of crying. That was new. He didn't expect her to have a sensitive side.

Darkarai nibbled his cookies and shrugged, not caring one way or another if they were shaped like cute animals. Michelle was definitely, positively sure she wanted kitty cookies. "I would bite their ears off one by one." she declared. Zoe gasped. "I'm heartless but even I wouldn't do that! Maybe if they were birds or something, yeah. But not kitties!"

Zach laughed. "You're not heartless! You need it to push blood." He told his twin.

"Pump blood." Miz corrected. And yes, she was teaching the children basic anatomy already.

"It's an expressioooon! Like dad says!" Zoe made a duh face at her brother. "I know I have a heart." Zach blinked. "Ok."

Zoe was staring at the cookies. "Hm… can I bring these to school?" she asked her sister. Miz shrugged. "There aren't any nuts in it. But there is flour, eggs and butter, so make sure to ask if anyone in your class is allergic before you share them."

"Okaaaay~" Zoe said, not intending to share them. Miz, not knowing what Zoe was planning, gave her little sister a hug. "It'll be nice to see if any of your classmates want cookies. I always make way too many."

"Oh, I'm happy to take alllll the extras back to school with me." Zoe cackled. Miz wasn't all that worried, Zoe was just like that.

She didn't like to spy on her little siblings' activities, so she wasn't aware Zoe was trafficking cookies at school. You wanted the GOOD stuff? Zoe Pines had it. And she was willing to part with them in exchange for stuff. She wasn't giving them away for FREE. You needed to have good merch though, cool markers, stickers, erasers shaped like animals or ribbons or other food, even money worked, to get the delicious goodies. It was a barter system, a black marketplace of cookies. And Zoe was the kingpin.

Georgie was invited to help with the business. "As you're our friend now," Zoe said, pointing at her brother and Amanda. And Georgie gasped softly. He was a friend! He was assigned to make drawings of cookies on pieces of paper and writing 'Ask Zoe for (::)' and passing them out to the kids in other classes so they could meet up with Zoe during recess. He didn't know why he was doing this, but the twins said it was called "propaganda" and their COLLEGE cousin said it was to attract people to buy things in a business! (That wasn't correct, but the kindergarteners didn't know that they were misunderstanding all the big words.) Georgie didn't know that! And the twins were learning from college kids! Those were adults and they knew so much! He was paid with cookies at the end of the day, where Zoe handed him his part of the merch.

"Good job, kid." Zoe said dramatically and walked towards her dad and Miz who came to pick them up with Zach trailing behind her. She had seen dad doing that, and she thought he was cool, and she wanted to be cool, so she had started saying that as well.

The twins, Amanda and Georgie kept developing their friendship. Georgie proved his worthiness as a friend when some idiot kids tried stealing Zoe's bag, to get the cookies all for themselves. Zach and Amanda managed to catch the kid and told them to scram! And Georgie was declared the knight to protect this valuable treasure. Georgie felt so honored to have such an important task.

By the end of the school year, the four kindergarteners were the best of friends. Michelle and Darkarai hung out sometimes, but they were mainly after school friends.

And their study sessions together eventually turned to just hanging out on weekends watching cartoons, helping Miz in the kitchen with baking, or arts and crafts.

Speaking of which…

"Miz!" Zoe tugged on her dress. "We wanna learn how to make more origami stuff too!"

Miz grinned. "Well~ I dunno~ I know you guys know the basics, but do the others?"

"They'll learn too!" Zoe said. The others didn't mind learning. It looked cool.

"Alright then." And Miz sat down to teach them some simple origami animals. Like butterflies, simple frogs or fish. And from the fish base, she taught them a Sea Lion. "Almost all shapes are made from modifying other shapes." Miz explained. "Even I don't know all the different shapes. I'm still learning too." she plopped down a stack of square papers. "And the best part is that you can make up your own designs!" and she would love to see what the children could make.

So the kids went at it, most of their creations were just crumpled wads of paper, but they were learning. And that sent a thrill through her, seeing them learn through experimentation. That she was making this possible. She was good, she wanted to do good , she-

"Miz, look at Zach's octopus! It looks so AWESOME!" Zoe screamed, pulling at her arm to bring her back to reality. Miz blinked and looked over. And… she forgot to breathe.

It was lopsided, and the tentacles weren't fully curled, just bent oddly in different directions, and the head wasn't fully inflated, but even so, she… recognized it.

"...where did you learn this design?" Miz asked softly, picking up the octopus and cradling it in her hands. Zach shrugged. "I dunno? I was just…" he wiggled his fingers, "...messing with the paper. And… it… felt like… if I folded it… and…" he floundered at trying to explain himself, because he didn't know where he learned it. He could have made it up himself, but something about that idea didn't seem right to him. He… he did learn it somewhere? But he didn't remember? "Did…" his lips wobbled. "Did I do something wrong?"

And Miz looked up at him, and just continued looking at him, a complicated expression on. Finally, she smiled. "No, you did nothing wrong. It's beautiful. You've got some real talent Zach." She reached to stroke his cheek and Zach finally went back to smiling. "Thanks!"

He turned away and missed the brief moment of bittersweet anguish on Miz's face. None of the other kids noticed either, as they were complimenting Zach's octopus. Miz rubbed her face and whispered softly to herself under her breath. "It's just a design I invented years ago…" and she hadn't taught it to anyone but…

...no one had learned this design from her except for...

Miz shook her head. Her smile was a little less painful now, but no less bittersweet.

Zach held up another attempt at an octopus, still lopsided, and tugged on Miz's dress. "Am I doing better?"

"Yes." Miz wrapped her arms around the child and laid her head on his, relaxing. "It's beautiful." Zach giggled. Miz laughed lightly, closing her eyes. " I love you, little brother. "

"Love you too!"

"I wanna hug too!" Zoe demanded and threw herself over her sister, squealing.

Miz laughed, less strained this time, even as she wiped at the tears that kept trying to form. "Alright! All the hugs!" and she pulled Zoe in too. The siblings giggled and nuzzled each other. Amanda smiled. "I wish I had siblings." it looked fun. And ok, part of her wished she had a cool big sister who taught her how to make cute animals out of paper. Georgie nodded, wishing he had a big sister instead of a big brother. His brother never baked cookies for him! Useless brother.

Miz took a deep breath and nuzzled the babies. It was fine. She loved them. And she always would. No matter who or what they were.

She had a little brother, her little brother. The only one in all the world.

-.-

Carol apparently took a liking to ruining Seb's day. Seb had to leave the house to go grocery shopping, and left Miz and the twins at home because everytime Miz came grocery shopping with him, she managed to talk him into buying way more than he intended. So there he was, doing shopping and minding his own damn business like any average human, when he hears someone laugh behind him. Oh, he knew that laugh. That annoying "Oh hoo hoo hoooo~" of his most hated enemy. Move over Crampelter, there's a new bitch dominating Sebastian's shit list.

Heck. He'd give anything to be tortured by Bill again if it meant not having to see this GODDAMN WOMAN!

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Oh nothing. Just SO funny to see you here, shopping." Carol brushed her hair behind her ear. Seb knew it was a wig. He could tell by how carefully she touched it, as if afraid it would fall off.

"You know, as if you were the wife in your house and doing what women should do." Carol continued, faking a perfectly pleasant tone.

A worker walked past Seb and Seb called out to him. The girl's eyes widened. Oh no. These two regulars again. "Hey you, underpaid ma'am, is it gay to eat?"

"...N-No sir?" She couldn't get around him and the other woman. Seb narrowed his eye, "And it is wrong for the husband to go shopping for food to feed the family?"

"No, sir?" The poor worker wasn't sure what was going on, she just wanted to stock her shelves!

Seb turned back to Carol. "Why, I'm just being a good father. It's a shame your husband doesn't help you out in taking care of the household~"

"My husband works, he makes money." Carol's eye twitched. The worker was slowly inching away, no sudden movements, didn't want to attract attention.

"So do I. I can work AND take care of the house. Unlike some people who are forced to be stuck with one or the other. And you're angry at me because I have the BEST WIFE ever! Who's everything you will never be!" Seb spat. "And I also have hair! LOTS OF IT!" in fact he had too much, if his need to shave everyday meant anything. Ugh.

Carol was shaking now, glaring at him. "Well my husband makes enough money that I don't NEED to work! We're doing so well we can even afford a summer house!"

"Then go to your summer house and leave us alone!" Seb shouted, pulling at the skin of his face.

"You're not even all that successful!" Carol shouted back. "I've certainly never seen anyone ACTUALLY famous, wear any of your RAGS!"

Seb gasped. "Bitch, I've made the suits and dresses for the Northwests for YEARS! Every year! Every time they have their fancy schmancy party! Those things they're wearing? Mine !" He was losing his cool now. Quite literally, his hands were itching to burn.

The poor worker eeped and managed to escape from the fight. She probably should look for someone to stop this before it ended badly.

"Well you're HERE aren't you?" Carol sneered. "Doing nothing more than handling little useless crappy stores that no one likes!" She giggled. "And you know! There's a fancy gala in Italy next January, where all the big names are going for their show, and you-" she grinned nastily at him, "-weren't invited! Because you suck~" She made a false sympathetic face, putting a hand over her chest.

Seb shook. "And how do you know that? You don't know that…!"

"I've read their guest list!" Carol crooned. "And. You. Weren't. On. It."

Seb growled and pulled Carol by her shirt and started shaking her. "STOP IT! STOP BOTHERING ME!"

"HELP! ASSAULT! RAPE!" Carol screamed, even as she pulled on Sebastian's hair and slapped at his face. Sebastian quickly let go of her. " EEEW! NO WAY! YOU'RE GROSS AND DISGUSTING AND I WOULD NEVER FUCK YOU!"

Seb shoved her away. "I HAVE STANDARDS!" he cried.

"HEEEELPPPP!" Carol cried, their fight had attracted stares from everyone around them.

Security, sent by the worker from before, finally arrived, and found the two still pushing and trying to shove each other away. Carol's wig fell off at some point. And then Seb lost his eye patch. No one really wanted to try and separate them. Everyone knew it wasn't rape, and the woman had been insulting him to begin with, but it wasn't right for the man to escalate this to something physical. The security guys just looked at each other helplessly. And then finally, they went in and pulled Sebastian away, restraining him and the other one got between Seb and Carol, trying to calm the woman down as she shrieked and covered her head.

"HE WAS ASSAULTING ME AND HITTING ME! HELP ME! HE HITS WOMEN!"

"SHE CAME TO HARRASS ME FIRST! AND STOP LYING BITCH!" Seb kicked his legs as the security guy held him. "Sir, please leave the store. You're causing a ruckus."

Carol gave Seb a smug grin.

"Ma'am. We need you to leave too." she gasped. "WHAT?!"

Sebastian burst out laughing. "Ok, I'll leave if she has to leave too." he grinned, stopped resisting and just hung from the security guy's arms. They looked at each other and then back to Carol. "Ma'am?"

"No! I'm not leaving! I still have shopping to do! Where is your manager! I demand to speak with him!"

"OH NO! You guys, you're in danger now~" Seb told them. The security guy dropped him and Seb fell to the floor, still laughing. "Are some of you recording this? I want a video of her face and the wig falling off." He looked at the small crowd, who were pretending like they weren't directly watching them.

"Ma'am, please leave." the poor security man asked again.

"I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH YOUR MANAGER!" and then Carol slapped him. The other security man sighed. "Alright, I'm very sorry ma'am…" and he got behind her and restrained her, dragging her towards the door. Carol screamed and kicked the entire time.

Seb, leaning against the shelf of bread, waved. "Bye bye~" The security guy deadpanned at him and motioned at the door. "You too, sir." Seb rolled his eye, "I know my way out, thank you~" and he practically danced his way to the door, laughing at Carol still screaming in the parking lot.

Of course, this meant Seb didn't get his groceries…. shit. He groaned. Well, there was another market a few minutes from here, so he just drove there and got his shopping started again.

At least until he realized Carol had followed him. "Dear Ax, what the fuck?!" Seb deadpanned at her. "Are you stalking me now?" he gasped with a hand to his chest, "Wait! I know what this is!" He took a step back, suddenly scared. "Your husband's always working and you're lonely so you're bullying me as some fucked up repressed sexual thing?!" Seb pulled his jacket closer to himself to cover himself more.

"WHAT?!" Carol actually reared back, looking shocked.

"I'm sorry. I am a devoted husband and like I said, you're… ah… gross . You're not my type." he shook his head, grossed out by all this.

"You arrogant son of a-" Carol growled.

Sebastian continued. "Besides that, I doubt you use birth control…"

"I don't! It's unnatural and a waste of money-" Carol was a little confused by the topic change.

"I should have seen it earlier. I mean I know I'm awesome and way too hot and way out of your league~ But before you went all supreme Karen bitch on me, you were always in my house! Coming over to hang out and just coming right into my home while my WIFE was away! Creeping me out!"

"That's not-"

"And if you don't use birth control, and Amanda's still an only child, my only conclusion is that your husband's just not giving you what you want. And I'm sorry, but neither am I. This guy's got standards~" he pointed at himself with a grin, feeling much more relieved and confident that Carol looked so shocked. "I'm not into you. Please go find someone else to unleash your repressed sexual frustrations on." Seb tutted, waving a finger. He walked into the store, because he seriously needed to get his shopping done (he's buying some drinks too, god he deserved it after all this), and checking behind his shoulder, he didn't see Carol there. Fiuff~

When he came back home, Miz complained that he still took too long, even more than if he had allowed her to go! "Sorry eh~Had some problems at the store… got kicked out, hopefully not banned because I love the chocolate chip muffins from that store, and Carol probably wants to fuck me, like the-the act of fucking."

"EEEWWWWW! Why does she want to subject you to such a horrible moment with her?!" Miz screamed and covered her ears. Seb sighed. "I know right?"

"If she needs to get laid that bad…" Miz muttered under her breath. Maybe she could get Carol's actual husband to do his thing? Well… she didn't really know what the deal was between those two. But he just… didn't seem… hm… Miz frowned. She knew that some people just got super horny and needed fucking, but… still, eeeew~

"Well, if she tries to touch you, just run." iz deadpanned.

"Yeah, you don't need to tell me." Seb shuddered.

When poor Wanda was told about this, she didn't know if she wanted to laugh, cry or murder a bitch. Seb also whimpered a little because he checked about the event in January of 2020, which he hadn't heard about, and it was true, the list of guests was posted and he wasn't invited.

"That doesn't mean you aren't great." Wanda stroked his fluffy bicolor hair. Yup, he had gone back to that look, now that the twins didn't pull and try eating it, he felt it was safe to dye his hair again. "You know more opportunities will come."

"...Right."

"And if Carol knows about that event, then it can't be that great." Wanda reasoned. That actually DID make Seb feel better, he laughed lightly and laid down on her chest. "Yeah, you're right."

"If she touches you, you run. And tell me so I can break her nose. Like I did with those other bitches in your previous school." Wanda flexed her arm with a grin.

"I will. Don't worry." Seb laughed. He'd love to see that again.

Wanda leaned down and kissed him lightly. "I love you~" Seb chuckled, kissing her back. "I love you too~" They continued kissing, wrapping their arms around each other and Wanda ended up straddling Seb on their bed. He raised a hand and sent out some of his power to lock the door. Didn't want any interruptions after all~

-.-

(Georgie's birthday party)

Georgie's birthday was here. And his parents invited everyone.

And unfortunately for Sebastian, that meant Carol was here.

Though, she wasn't talking to him quite yet, just glaring at him whenever she could.

Well, sucks for her. He wasn't interested and there wasn't anything she could do about that. She could continue being angry!

This birthday party was also a potluck event, and Sebastian had kicked Miz out of the kitchen so he could work his own brand of magic for it. He was quite proud of his 5 layer scalloped potato, spinach, cheese and meat loaf. It was like a lasagna but with potatoes instead of pasta. Miz was not jealous. Not at all.

Seb proudly placed his creation down on the food table with the other things the other parents brought. Georgie's mom had made banana muffins, which Seb gladly took one of. Hm~ so moist and warm~ Oh! There were chocolate chips inside!

As Sebastian ate his muffin, some other parents were trying out some of the food, a few took a cut of Sebastian's potato creation and hummed appreciatively. "This is very good. Did you make this?" Georgie's dad asked, not simply assuming that Sebastian's wife (who wasn't here but Seb said she was coming later if she could get off work early) must have made it. After all, he did a lot of cooking as well. His wife baked but she wasn't good with making healthy, savory stuff.

"Yes." Sebastian said proudly, feeling all warm inside at the compliment.

"Hm. Too salty." an annoying, familiar voice called out. Seb groaned. Then he refused to respond to that, because he didn't want to give Carol the satisfaction of getting a rise out of him.

"Oh Gustus, try some of my meatloaf! It's a family recipe." Carol crooned at Georgie's dad. Seb blinked. Was Carol trying to put the moves on someone else now? Should he warn Gustus about it? Poor Gustus, not knowing or noticing the tension, shrugged and scooped a bit of the meatloaf.

Sebastian's eye twitched at the smug look Carol was sending his way. What the literal fuck lady? This wasn't some kind of competition?! He made a grimace and stuck his tongue out.

"Cough!" Gustus turned his face away, chewing slowly. "It's…" he reached for some of the fruit punch.

"Carton flavored? Paper?" Seb tried with a big grin.

"...a little dry." Gustus said politely. Seb grinned even wider, showing off his pointy teeth.

Gustus managed to swallow his bite, with help from his drink. He gave Carol a nod before making his way away from the table. It was Seb's turn to give Carol a smug grin. She scowled at him.

"I'm not into you." she hissed quietly at him, so no one heard her. Seb huffed. "Then leave me alone. Don't come near me. Don't talk to me."

"Who would even want to talk to you ?" Carol sneered before grabbing a cup of fruit punch and sauntering away.

"I still have standards!" Seb called after her, laughing and knowing he had found himself a powerful weapon to defend himself. Yeees! Now, whenever Carol started bothering him, he'd just accuse her of flirting with him and make her leave in disgust! Genius!

...But not disgust because of himself. She'd kill to get a chance with someone like him. Seb straightened his very flattering shirt and walked off with his head held high.

Meanwhile, Miz was having fun with the kids.

Georgie's older brother Adonis was glad there was another older kid at the party. He was also glad she looked around his age. And he had wanted to chat with her or something, but she was playing with the little brats and he somehow got dragged into it. They were running around the yard as she chased them while shouting, "RAWR! IMMA EAT YOU!" and when she caught a kid, she'd giggle and hug them before plopping them down into the 'dungeon' (a picnic blanket in the middle of the yard.)

Adonis rolled his eyes even as he ran, not all that hard or fast, since he didn't really care, but then Miz caught him and hugged him too. Adonis's eyes went wide. A girl was hugging him! A girl was-

-was picking him up and carrying him to the 'dungeon' just like she did with the other children. Adonis was dropped onto the blanket as he stared at the girl. "...did she just carry me!?"

"My big sis is strong!" Zoe said proudly. Adonis raised his eyebrows at her. "Didn't she catch you first?"

"Shut up!" Zoe growled at him.

Once Miz caught all the kids, they asked if they could be freed from the dungeon. "Hm… what'll ya give me in return?" Miz teased. Adonis deadpanned, "We could just leave." he made to stand up but Georgie pulled on his brother. "Nooo! If we leave before she says we're allowed to, we won't get any cookies!"

"Wha?" Adonis blinked as the rest of the children glared at him for threatening their cookie chances. "This is dumb." the 13 year old complained. He was a teenager now! It was so uncool he was stuck playing with all the 6 year olds! "Look, what do you want?" he asked Miz.

"Lots of things~" she purred. Adonis shivered. "But right now, I will ask each of you a question. If you can answer me, I'll let you go."

Zach, having picked up on the phrasing, and from being around Miz for so long, noticed she didn't specify that they had to answer the question correctly . "Ok." he stood up. "What's the question?"

"Well, each of you are getting a different question, so you won't be able to use each other's answers." Miz warned them all. Some of the kids gasped and clung to each other.

"Zach, tell me…" Miz hummed. "What… is your favorite color?"

Some of the kids laughed. Oh? If the questions were going to be things like that, then this would be easy.

Zach thought about it. "Yellow." he responded. Miz nodded and stood aside to let him walk off the picnic blanket. Zach stayed nearby, watching the rest of the proceedings.

Adonis was about to stand up when Zoe leaped to her feet. "Me next!" she screamed.

"Alright…" Miz thought about it. "What… is your quest?"

Zoe blinked. Quest? Erm… "I wanna go and punch that piñata that the grown ups are bringing out!" she pointed at where Gustus and his wife Matilda were setting up. Miz giggled and let Zoe leave the picnic blanket.

Adonis rolled his eyes and stood up. "Alright, hit me."

"What… is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?" Miz asked. Adonis blinked. All the other children blinked. Georgie gasped, "That's so hard!"

But Adonis just rolled his eyes. "African or European?"

Miz's eyes widened. "You get my reference."

"Yeah, you nerd." Adonis chuckled before he walked off the picnic blanket.

Miz laughed before turning back to the kids and continuing to ask other innocent and easy questions. Some of them were funny, "What… is the number of tickles that it takes to make an elephant laugh?" or "What… is your mom doing with that monstrosity?!" as she pointed at one of the parents holding up what might have been a nice looking fruit platter if it didn't have jalapeño peppers on it.

Finally, all the kids made it off the picnic blanket, coincidentally just in time for Matilda to call out, "Kids~ Piñata time~"

"""YAAAAY!""" the crowd of children ran over.

Seb watched from afar as the twins laughed and ran around with their friends. He smiled. They didn't know how happy it made them to see them happy, making friends. He never had that, and now as an adult real friends are weird for him, but seeing Zoe squeal and hugging her little friend or Zach jumping up and down with Georgie waiting for his turn with the piñata... It was so amazing. Miz came over to him. "You ok? Your eye's leaking." she leaned against his side.

"I'm fine." Seb sniffed. Miz regarded him. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you were a child." she finally said. Seb laid his hand on her head. "Not your fault. And I'm fine now." he pet her gently. "Thank you for… being here. Being with them. Being with me."

"Of course!" Miz wrapped her arms around Seb's waist. "I'll stay with you all until the end. I'm not going to leave you." Sebastian hugged her back. "I'm in some way glad you didn't see me as a baby...You would've probably kidnapped me or something." Which, to be fair, would have spared him so much pain, but he would have missed his mom and brothers.

"I would have eviscerated Filbrick." Miz nodded. "...still kinda want to."

"Don't, please." Seb rolled his eye and ruffled her hair. "I'm happy just having you here in my life, little sis." he watched the way Miz's eyes widened and chuckled. "Now go beat up that piñata." he patted her back and sent her to go play with the other kids. She deserved this, to just be a kid and have fun. Circles, he knew how much she must have been lonely before finding him. He had a shit childhood, and Miz probably went through something equally awful, if what he remembered from Flatland was any indication, so he wanted her to have a childhood here. Where she could get everything that he hadn't been able to have.

And if anyone noticed Seb wiping the tears from his eyes, they didn't say anything.

Except Carol.

"For God's sake! Can you start acting like a real man for once?!"

Seb took a deep breath. "What? You want me to act like a reeeeaaal man with you? I'm sorry, but I already told you I'm not interested~"

"Don't be so full of yourself! What even makes you think I would ever touch you?!" Carol hissed back. "You're a cripple and a mutant!"

"Then why do you keep harassing me? What goddamn reason would you have to stalk me? If you don't like me, why do you go out of your way to talk to me?" Seb shot back with a laugh. He was enjoying this, and he deserved to have some fun knocking Carol down all the pegs! Making light of Carol's insistent torment on his life and shooting her down was the best stress relief. "I mean, if you really want my attention so badly, just say so. I'm never going to reciprocate, but maybe once you admit it, and I reject you properly, you'll finally move on with your life."

Her face was an angry red. "Fuck you." she hissed at him.

"No thank you." Seb grinned and Carol screamed as she stomped off. He grabbed his phone to tell his brothers the revelations of the intentions of his current bully. Stan laughed so hard he fell from the chair he was recording the audio from (he heard a thud), Ford sounded very confused as to why someone would do that, and Shermie typed down a "omg not everyone wants to get in ur pants u vain bitch"

Seb continued chuckling to himself. Well, he was hoping Carol didn't actually want to fuck him, the idea was revolting, but joking about it seemed to drive her away, so what the heck?

"YES!" Zoe's voice screamed as she managed to smash the pinata open. The children all dived for the candy and Miz had to pick Zoe up to stop her from kicking Georgie in the face when he tried to reach for the same candy she wanted. "Nope. Bad Zoe. It's his birthday!"

"I am his QUEEN! He should be giving his candy to me!" Zoe complained. Some parents cooed at that, misunderstanding the statement and thinking Zoe had a baby crush on Georgie, and not that Georgie was her servant .

Miz passed out cookies to everyone afterward, so that managed to get Zoe to calm down.

(After Max begins living with them)

Zach and Zoe had gotten used to Maxini living with them. At first they didn't like how he always took daddy to himself, but when dad explained what was happening and how Max needed more help, because Max's mommy and daddy didn't want him (which was unforgivable and impossible in the twins' humble opinions), they understood and began liking him again. If Max's mommy and daddy didn't want him, then of course the best mommy and daddy in the world would take him in. Just like they took in Miz, because Miz's mommy and daddy didn't want her either. Or they were dead. The twins still weren't too sure about what exactly the reason was.

Zoe liked him more when he got a tail. Max would be trying to peacefully nap on the couch and she liked pulling his tail or trying to poke it. Max would whine and grumble, moving his tail from side to side to avoid the fingers or even the teeth, but to no avail. Zoe laughed evilly. A new toy! It was like Miz's tail! But Miz didn't let her own tail out as often anymore, mainly because Zoe liked pulling on it.

Yeah, Zoe didn't like other people pulling her sister's tail, but she was her sister so she got free reign to do so! Hah! And poor Max was, to his disgrace, a guest, so he felt obliged to tolerate Zoe's strong little hands or teeth bothering his recently grown tail and not snap at the little girl like any average Eix Leel would do with an annoying pup.

(At least until Miz realized what was happening and had a long talk with Zoe about how, just as Zach didn't like it when Georgie had held his hand in the past, it was also bad for Zoe to touch Max's tail without consent. And to Max's relief, Zoe stopped.)

Amanda was surprised when she came over and found a strange...boy? (teen? adult? Older people was hard to tell apart sometimes) wrapped in blankets in the living room. She also saw how Miz was wrapped around him, saying something like, "My baby~ my baby~"

"Um… is that your new big brother?" Amanda asked. She wouldn't be surprised if so. Miz appeared out of nowhere too.

Zoe shrugged. "Nah, that's our cousin's boyfriend. But he lives with us, 'cause he got hurt. And his parents didn't want him. So daddy's taking care of him." Zoe glanced at him and hummed. "He doesn't know how to take a bath."

"Hey!" Miz lifted her head. "He DOES know how to take a bath!"

"Huh? What?" Max blinked, confused as to what they were talking about, since he hadn't heard what Zoe said even if she was right there. Max sighed. He missed his ear fins...

"She was making fun of you." Miz rolled over to lie on Max's lap. "Not maliciously, she's just stuck on the idea of you not knowing how to use the human bath." Max nodded. "Oh...Wait, hey! I do know how to bathe!" Zoe stuck her tongue out at him. Max struggled with his tongue but eventually returned the gesture. He was learning new human expressions.

Amanda didn't really get it, but if Max's parents didn't want him, she was very glad mister Pines was taking care of him. Mister Pines was nice. She sat down at the table and was about to get her toys out to play, but she, along with Zach and Zoe, all jumped when they heard a frustrated scream coming from Seb's office.

"Seb?" Miz rolled off Max's lap and ran off to check on Seb.

"I can't believe it! They really aren't inviting me!" Seb huffed at his computer screen, where he was reading through that gala in Italy. The event had been planned for months and the list had since expanded but he seriously wasn't even contacted! His manager had been suspiciously silent about this. "FUCK BITCHES! MOTHERFUCKERS!"

And when Seb had contacted the event staff himself, they had responded that they didn't want him wearing his designs and making the event gay. Well, they hadn't used those words exactly, but that was pretty much what they had implied. "We are well aware of the fame you have in your country, but the event is projected to different people around the world who don't all share the same ideas." Fuck. Seb knew that acceptance of LGBT was… becoming more messy lately, but he hadn't thought that… fuck.

"It... I wouldn't wear the designs myself this time… It hadn't occurred in a while." Seb told the person in italian. "And even if I did, so what?! Clothes are clothes! What does it matter if I'm a man and I want to wear a dress?!" And dammit, it had taken so much courage for him to go out on stage like that. He loved wearing pretty things, but he had been put down for liking that kind of stuff so much in his childhood that he was still wary of doing so. "...Mi dispiace, io-"

Miz frowned and reached over, taking away his phone. "Seb, ignore them. If they're going to refuse you just to appease some assholes, you don't need to be there. They're losers. Don't. apologize. You have nothing to apologize for!"

Seb rubbed his face and then his eye. "I know, sorry, I just feel… fuck." he hissed through his teeth. He still felt messed up inside by it. Miz hugged him. "It's Italy, they're really prejudice against- well, lots of places are. And fuck them for caring more about this shit than for your talent. You don't need them. They don't deserve you."

Seb chuckled weakly. "Yeah. You're right."

Miz pursed her lips together and thought about it.

"How about we have our own gala?" she nudged him. "Right here at home, where you can wear anything you want and strut your stuff?"

"Uuummmm~" Seb hummed and sniffled. "I don't have them physically done though~ and I haven't shaved." He laughed, kicking his legs.

"Dude." Miz held Seb's face in her hands. "You, are going to be pampered. And then you are going to wear whatever you want. Whatever makes you feel good. And we are all going to cheer you on."

Seb's face went red at the kind words and looked away. "Stop. Your love is disgusting, blehh!"

"Accept my love Sebastian Pines!" Miz laughed maniacally.

"Gross!" Seb laughed as he pushed Miz away while she was trying to hug him. Miz giggled, waving her hand and flicked her fingers. "Come on, the guest wing has a spa room now."

"...you're too good to me." Seb managed to get out through the wide smile on his face. "What did I do to deserve the pampering of MizBill Cipher?"

"Being the bestest, most awesome, most handsome~" Miz teased. His face went red again! HAHAHA!

"Well, that is true." Seb agreed as he was escorted to the guest wing. Miz sent a last look to his office, glaring at Seb's computer. No one made her family sad!

"What's going on with daddy?" Zach asked as Miz walked by with Seb. "Well, Seb's gonna get some pampering to look super nice, and then we're gonna have a fashion show." Miz gave Zach a peace sign. "Hey, do you guys wanna have a spa day too?" she asked, blinking as she realized it wouldn't be nice to have a nice pampering day and leave the kids (and Max) out.

"Spa?" Zoe asked. Amanda raised her hand, like they were in class. "A spa is a place where you put smelly stuff on your face and get your hair and nails done."

"Why would you put smelly things on your face?" Max asked Amanda, who simply shrugged. "Don't know. But when mommy took me, the thing on her face was gross."

" She's gross…" Seb muttered under his breath, so Amanda couldn't hear him insulting her mom.

"Close, but not quite." Miz chuckled. "A spa has waaaay more stuff than that. It's about being pampered and feeling good."

"I'd like a mud facial~" Seb batted his eye at her. Miz rolled her own. "Sure sure."

"And I've been dying for a while to get my nails done!" Seb added. Miz nodded. "And maybe some eyebrow shaping wouldn't be so bad." Miz groaned. "Yeah, fine." The things she did to make this diva feel better.

Seb laughed and patted her head. "I'm already paying you with my brother's existence. You're welcome."

Miz scoffed. "Technically, I should be thanking granny Kari for that." she batted her eyelashes at him. "But I suppose you keeping him alive would be worth at least a manicure~"

"Ple-ease. I shaped him into the owl you love. This dimension is mine~Nothing happens without me." Seb said, completely smug. "You've seen thousands of Stans! But me? I'm the only one, baby." He winked.

"I mean, technically, the local Bill had some hand in it." Miz shrugged. "Also, I've seen plenty of Ford and Stans, yeah. But there's a chance there could be some Sebastian's out there. I mean, there was that Lion King AU…" she trailed off.

"...Still don't know what that is." Seb linked. "And imposible! How many Bills were stupid enough to do the exact same deal and how many unoriginal Axolotls!" Seb waved a fist. "I better be the only one!"

"Just be glad you haven't seen the Zaboomafoo AU." Miz deadpanned. "And… most Bills have that AXOLOTL deal, actually. Sure, they all end up differently, but there are at least four versions of Blue, who aren't him, but have the same base set-up, even if they have different backstories and personalities. It's actually a low chance you're the only 'Sebastian Pines' out there." Miz shrugged. "In fact, there might even be a version of me out there somewhere. I… wonder if I'll ever meet them…" she frowned. That would be super weird.

Seb rolled his shoulders. "You've just ruined my existence." He deadpanned. "A massage now is added to the list of my pampering." He couldn't deny it'd be interesting to see other hims. How different they turned out, having to deal with a past life of horrors.

"Fine~" Miz rolled her eyes, opening the door to the Guest Wing. Amanda's eyes went wide. "I didn't know your house was this big?"

"Oh, you haven't seen anything yet." Zoe cackled.

The Spa room was new. It was also staffed by some Care Units. They were quick and easy to make by this point. Miz bowed her head to them politely. Hey, just 'cause she created them, didn't mean she wouldn't be nice to them. Treat them well and they would be happier. It wasn't rocket science.

"You've got more people living here?!" Amanda gasped.

"No, I just hired them for today." Miz shrugged. She would send them to one of the other Islands she made, after this. Having Care Units who were capable of giving massages and other stress relief would be a god send to the growing population of refugees living there.

(As a note, Yun bought out a few small apartment buildings so there would be places for the refugees to exit when they leave the Islands. She was hoping to expand their insides to make actual living spaces where people could live with their own family units, so they'd have a proper address to list for when they found jobs on the outside, if they even wanted to. Most of them seemed to be happy to take a break from grueling workdays without the stress of eviction and survival.

So… she was fine even if they never wanted to work a job again. The worship they gave her was more than enough.

Miz shook that off. "Anyway, have fun everyone. There's a swimming pool sized hot tub if you guys are into that. But there's also a hair washing station, massages, a sauna… well, there's a lot." she listed off. "Also. Free ice cream."

"""ICE CREAM!""" the children screamed. Max shuddered. "Also some hot milk." Miz added. Max's eyes lit up. He had learnt that milk tasted delicious during his time here and a perk of human body meant tolerating lactose enough for a treat~

Miz chuckled as the children ran inside, excited for the ice cream, even if nothing else.

They had a great time at the spa, Seb was being pampered by multiple Care Units as he got a back massage, a hair wash, dye touch up, facial, manicure, pedicure... the WORKS.

He even fell asleep for most of it. He really needed that time for himself to just ease his always tense muscles.

"How are you feeling now that your meatsack was massaged all over?" Miz poked her face under the massage bed and poked Seb's nose.

"Hmmmm~"

Well good. Now let Care Unit #27 help you with your hair and makeup for our own fashion show."

"Hmmm~"

Seb blinked his way back into awareness to find himself decked out in one of the dress designs he'd made, adjusted for his body shape. He raised his hands up to feel his hair, perfectly fluffed. "Wow…" he glanced at himself in a mirror. "Gasp! I'm beautiful!"

"You're always beautiful." Miz assured him with a sage nod. Zoe and Amanda clapped. Zach pet Seb's dress. "Daddy is the prettiest!" he cheered.

"Awww you guys~" Seb sniffled. Miz waved her hand to show off the 'runway' the children made. It was just a bunch of towels laid on the ground. Zach and Amanda had arranged all their stuffed animals into an audience. Zoe had Seb's phone, snapping photos like she remembered the people at the fashion shows did. Seb laughed and posed, "Get my good angle~" Seb strut his way down the 'runway' as he stopped to pose for a photo.

Max felt his respect for Mr. Pines rising. A male showing everyone how beautiful he was, Max loved how humans would wear bright colors with fluttery ribbons and fabric, since they didn't have their own colorful scales and feathers. And Mr. Pines created these 'dresses' and 'suits' to help his fellow humans look as beautiful as they wanted. Max thought it was so noble of him to help other humans look pretty.

Zach held up a toy microphone. "Mister Pines, what do you say is… is the suss… suss.." he frowned. Miz whispered, "Success."

"Yeah, that. Success to your amazing work?" Zach blinked up at his dad with a smile. Sebastian cooed at how cute ReporterZach was. "Why, it's from how much I want to make something beautiful that anyone can wear." He leaned down and nuzzled Zach, making the child giggle. "And it's fun! You can't make anything great if you're not having fun doing so!"

They had a whole fashion show, with Seb trying on a bunch of different outfits, both dresses and suits. The children had fun and Sebastian felt better about not being invited to the fancy gala. Miz nudged him. "If they can't appreciate you, then fuck 'em." Seb patted her head. "Yeah, I had fun today. Thank you. All of you."

Amanda and Zach giggled, hugging Seb's sides. Zoe leaped onto Seb's shoulders, burying her hands in his hair. "I wanna dress up too!" she demanded. Sebastian chuckled. "Alright."

While Seb got out some of his children's sized outfits, Miz made the kitty cookies to celebrate a successful fashion show. Zoe cried.

.

-.-

There was one thing Sebastian hated about Max being Mabel's boyfriend.

It meant his niece introduced Max to all the Disney movies.

Specifically, all the Disney movie songs .

And that would have been fine.

But Max discovered singing .

And then he wouldn't shut up.

And worse, Zoe joined in.

….and Miz too.

"Little tooooown~ what a quiet villaaaaage~" Zoe sang. "Everydaaaay~ like the one befoooooore~" she pressed a hand to her head dramatically as she laid on the couch. "Little toooown~ full of little people~ waking up to saaaaaaay~"

And then Max took over. "Riff raff~ street rat~ I don't buy that~" he was draped over the other side of the couch. "If only they'd look closeeeeer~" he wagged his tail. "Would they see a poor boy? No siree~" he arched up. "They'd find out~ there's so much more to meeeeeeee~!"

And then Miz took over. She was in her dragon form, crawling up along the walls. "I've never found hyenas essential~" she purred. "They're crude and unspeakably plain~" her claws went click as she skittered along the wall. "But maybe they've a glimmer of potential~ if allied with my vision and brain…" she wrapped her tail around Max and Zoe, pulling them up from the couch.

Max and Zoe sang the ominous melody as Miz cackled.

"I know that your powers of retention! are as wet as a warthog's backside~" Miz crooned as she crawled along the walls, carrying Zoe and Max with her. "But thick as you are, pay attention!" she hissed, making Zoe giggle. "My words are a matter of priiiiiide~"

Seb was sitting on the couch, eye twitching. Especially when Miz slithered her way around him. "It's clear from your vacant expressions~" she purred, nuzzling around him. "The lights are not all on upstairs~" Seb groaned. "But we're talking kings and successions!" Miz slithered off. Seb looked around but couldn't see her until she popped down from the ceiling. "Even you can't be caught unawares!"

"Ok seriously, stop it. You've been singing for HOURS!" Seb groaned. He hugged Zach to his hip. "Look at Zach! He's being so quiet and not annoying!"

"That's 'cause he can't sing." Zoe said matter-of-factly. Zach nodded with a grin. "That's right. I can't." He had accepted this fact and he didn't mind anymore.

"And it's such a damn shame because I think he'd be great for singing Hercules's part in this medley…" Miz pouted.

"It was cute at first!" Seb wailed. "But you guys won't let me leave this couch until your damn performance is done!" And they kept messing up and starting over. And he was so sick of hearing the same songs over and over again!

Miz shrugged, lowering herself to the ground and releasing Max and Zoe.

"Eh, we've stalled for enough time already." Miz shrank back into her humanoid form, shaking her head and brushing her hair back into place as her antlers retracted into her skull. "I'm sure mommy's done with your birthday cake by now."

The plan was birthday breakfast with just their family, then lunch with all the Pines family before they split off again for dinner into their own groups. Miz mentioned wanting to spend some time with her boyfriend, just the two of them.

"Yes!" Seb cheered. "Breakfast cake!"

The family piled into the kitchen and Wanda gave her husband a kiss. "Happy birthday Seb~ You're-"

"I'm 30." Sebastian insisted. Wanda rolled her eyes. "Sure dear."

"Hahahaha! Daddy's ooooold~" Zoe teased.

"No I'm not you little gremlin!" Seb chased her around the kitchen with his tickle-hands out. Zoe squealed and ducked under his grasping hands. Zach and Max were being good boys and sitting at the table. Miz was helping Wanda move breakfast to the table and start serving them. "Zoe, stop teasing your dad, it's his birthday."

"Fiiiine~" Zoe said from where she was hiding behind Max's tail.

They ate their breakfast and gave out presents before Miz opened a portal to Gravity Falls where they were meeting up with everyone else.

"Heeeey~!" Stan laughed, running up and lifting Seb right into the air with his hug. "How've you been since you traumatized some guys for life?"

Seb cackled. "I'm doing great!"

Wanda's eye twitched. "Excuse me, traumatized?" She tapped her foot as she stared Stan and Seb down. The two men paled. "Miz helped!"

"TRAITOR!" Miz ran away before Wanda could scold her for helping the men with their antics. She Blinked away and stored her Miz vessel in her room back home in Wanda and Seb's house before Blinking back to Gravity Falls as Xin. "Fooooordsie~!" he cheered, leaping onto the scientist and wrapping his arms and legs around him. "Happy birthday!" the dragon's tail was out, wagging back and forth, not like a dog would, but more or a swaying motion.

Ford stumbled back but managed to keep his balance. "Xin! Warn me next time!"

"A glomp needs no warning!" Xin cheered.

Ford snorted, shifting Xin in his arms to a more comfortable hold. "Well, hello everyone. Nice to see you all." Xin purred, nuzzling into Ford's hair. "Melody and Abuelita made lunch."

Xin leaped off Ford, "FOOOD!" and ran off inside. Ford laid on the grass, looking like a very disgruntled owl. Seb was quick to point and laugh. "Looks like he loves food more than you."

Ford rolled his eyes.

They spent the day hanging out and Shermie was glad it wasn't some crazy magic thing like last year.

And when the sun began going down, Xin waved bye to his family as he wrapped Ford's arm in a hug. "I'm gonna be giving Ford his 'special' birthday present personally. I probably won't be home till tomorrow." he told Wanda.

Stan and Shermie choked. Seb just gave Xin a suspicious look. "You're purposely fucking with us."

"Of course I am!" The dragon cackled, pushing Ford back into the Shack. "Bye everyone~"

Seb just shook his head. Well, for what it's worth, he hoped Ford enjoyed his personal birthday gift.

(Ford never told anyone what exactly Xin gave him, but the dragon blushed heavily and always changed the subject when it came up. Looks like they were keeping that personal gift, personal.)

Miz's birthday was spent snuggling Zach. She declared Zach to be her comfort baby for the duration of the day. Zach just thought it was fun to be carried around everywhere, even teased Zoe about it until she screamed and Miz carried Zoe as well just to make things fair for the twins. She invited Amanda, Georgie, Michelle, Darkarai- and even Adonis (to the boy's surprise) since those were her only human friends. Miz also invited Amelie so the Selkie could hang out with more humans. Besides…

"I feel kinda bad we haven't been able to hang out." Miz told her while the humans were all distracted with the pinata that 'mysteriously' always swung away from the people trying to hit it. Amelie shrugged. "I know you're busy." she glanced down at the twins sitting in Miz's lap. "Can I speak with you in private?"

Miz ruffled the twins' hair. "Okie, you two go try your luck with the pinata, I'm gonna have some serious grown up talk."

"Booooring~" Zoe stuck her tongue out before sliding off Miz's lap and running for the pinata, which had just barely gotten away from Sebastian (who was looking quite annoyed now.)

Zach hesitated but left after Miz gave him a reassuring look.

Once they were alone, Miz turned to the Selkie. "Is this about the Islands?" the ones she made for Cryptids to use and hide from danger?

Amelie nodded. "There's nothing wrong, in fact they're great. My people are grateful to have a safe haven. I just wanted to ask… are you alright?"

Miz blinked. "What do you mean?"

Amelie looked a bit worried. "Well, aren't you pushing your powers too far? Even if you're a dragon, maintaining so many Territories must be taxing? I worry about your health." Miz felt rather touched by her concern. "I'm alright. If I get tired, I'll go eat something. And besides, I'm getting more worshippers. That helps a lot." Amelie looked a little reassured, "Still, don't push yourself. Even a dragon needs to rest sometime." she brushed her hair behind her ear. The others died out or left when their powers waned from overreaching. I don't want that to happen to you."

"...it won't. I'll… take breaks. I am taking breaks." Miz sighed. "Besides, I get all the food I need. I won't overtax myself. I can't afford to." she muttered that last part. Amelie frowned. "...how many Islands have you set up by now?" Miz remained quiet. Amelie frowned harder. "Miz?"

"Like… it's not even a hundred yet…" Miz twiddled her fingers, Amelie's eyes widened. "Ford took me on a date to an all you can eat buffet, and what else was I gonna do to digest so I could eat more if not just building a few dozen islands…"

"Miz, please be careful. I don't want you using up all your magic and fading away." Amelie frowned. Miz paused at that. Well… yeah… some magical creatures would fade away if their magic ran out… and as a Being of Pure Energy, could she… actually fade away if she used up all her energy? She didn't even know if that was possible… well, she has exploded and 'disappeared' for a thousand years but she always came back. Then again… all those times she exploded had been back in her own 'set, which was made out of her corpse, so perhaps…

Suddenly, the idea of dying while here terrified her.

And… as scary as the thought was, Miz realized that her fear of dying was actually a step in the right direction for her mental health. She… actually wanted to live. That…. that was good. But she did take Amelie's warning seriously. She didn't know what would happen if she used up all of herself while here, whether she would be able to come back after that or not. Amelie squeaked when Miz leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her. "Thank you for worrying about me. I'll be careful."

That night, after going to bed, Bill left their Miz vessel and Blinked over to Gravity Falls, finding Ford getting ready for bed. Since she was having a 'human and cryptid friends' birthday party today, it meant that Ford and the rest of the extended family hadn't been invited. They were all busy so they were fine with that. But Miz still wanted some cuddling with her boyfriend.

Frankly, Miz was a little jealous that Xin and Yun got to be all lovey dovey with Ford and she wasn't. But she understood why that was. And Bill was fine with just switching forms when they wanted snuggles. So he spent the night with Ford, the two had a nice bath together and slept in each other's embrace.

It was a quiet birthday, but a nice one nonetheless.

(2020)

Max was so annoyed. He was beyond pissed. Nothing was ever good in his life and everything was terrible!

"It's not even that bad, heh." Seb told the whining boy. "It's actually nice to have Wanda here, she gets to be with the kids and I get them off me for a few hours!" He said as he adjusted himself on the sofa to catch up with his series. Being stuck in quarantine sucked, but it was nice to get some time off to relax for once.

"But it's SO BORING!" Max moaned. "Please, I wanna go out. Juuuust a few minutes to walk!" His tail was swinging erratically. Seb waved a hand, telling him to get away from the Tv.

"I said no. No one gets out. Dangerous virus on the loose and all that."

Max shrieked and Seb just shooed him away. Dramatic boy. He bet Mabel didn't know this about her boyfriend. But right that moment, a state away, Mabel was screaming about how bored she was while rolling around on the floor of the living room while Dipper tried to ignore her and continue his schoolwork. (If Seb ever found this out, he'd be laughing into his cereal for days.)

Max was so frustrated.

"Come watch this with me!" Seb tried to get Max to sit still.

"I saw it with Mabel, the lady dies." Max informed him, not knowing yet about how you shouldn't give spoilers. Seb gasped and his eye twitched.

"This is so horribleee!" the green eyed bastard kept whining. Sebastian was still so very offended that Max spoiled the show for him.

Seb's flames danced on his arms as he thought in many ways to grill and barbeque Max and then feed him to Mabel.

He took a deep breath. No. Bye-bye intrusive thoughts. He was good.

"...Sleep then." Seb told Max with more patience than he thought himself capable of.

"But I'm not tireeeeed!" Max hugged his tail. "It's not even like hibernation. At least then I remained asleep for weeks! I can't do that anymore! Dr. Pines says it'd 'damage my muscles' and 'probably kill me' or something." Max made quotation marks. Hibernation sleep would be awesome right now. Cuddling with Mabel and sleeping until the "quarr-antine" was over.

Max laid on the floor before remembering his phone's existence and pulled it out to check if Mabel had posted photos. She had! And Dipper was in one of them, looking pissed. Remembering he would never see his siblings again made Max sad, so he just turned on ThemTube on his phone and mindlessly increased the volume while he scrolled through strangers' funny videos.

"MAXINIII!" Seb whined. "Volumes' too high, kid! Come on!" He complained. "I'm trying to watch my show! Even though you spoiled it! Go… watch ThemTube in your room or something?"

Too high? Max sighed. Humans must have good hearing, because Max couldn't hear anything if it wasn't at least this loud. But he got up and walked off, holding his phone up to watch a man eat everything on the menu at a fast food restaurant and comment on how they taste.

He passed Miz while she was working on some paperwork. "Max, that's super loud. You should get some headphones." the dragon told him absently as she looked over the sales numbers. Hm… creating bulk packs of toilet paper and putting them on sale on Void Deliveries was a freaking good idea, if how much revenue it was pulling in from just the last week alone meant anything. She was also making sure to sterilize any and all packages that customers sent out and received, just in case.

"I'll look for them then, Great Dragon." Max nodded and continued his odyssey back to his room. He took his hand to one of his ears and scratched it softly, feeling the scars from where his ear fins used to be. Man, he had never appreciated those before...

Miz didn't notice, as she was too busy reading over the numbers and restocking her supplies magically from afar.

The twins ran into Max and aside from Zoe pulling his tail just for fun, didn't really seem to care one way or another if his phone was blasting out at high volumes. Kids liked watching stuff with high volume and guessed Max did too.

However, when Max walked past Wanda's bedroom, she heard the noise and frowned. "Max, if you listen to things so loudly you're going to damage your ears." She called, raising her voice over the loud sounds.

Max poked his head inside and paused the video. "Huh?" Wanda repeated her warning. "But I can't hear it otherwise." Max complained. Wanda frowned at that, putting down her laptop and getting off her bed to walk over. "Can't hear-" she held out her hand for Max's phone and he handed it over. Wanda set the volume to something that she could hear comfortably without it making her skull rattle as it had been before. "How's this?" she asked.

Max listened. "It's… like mumbling. I can't hear it." he told her. Wanda didn't stop looking a little worried. She clicked the volume up one bar. "Now?"

Max shook his head. Wanda continued increasing the volume little by little until the phone's speakers were on full blast and she winced from the sound. Max however, smiled. "Yes. I can hear that very well now."

"Max I think you've got hearing problems." Wanda was worried now. She had noticed that sometimes Max didn't respond when they called out to him unless they were close to him or raising their voice, but she hadn't considered that it was a real problem...

Max wilted. "I'm sorry." Wanda quickly shook her hands, "No, it's nothing bad, I mean, you're not at fault. I just think we need to get you tested. I don't know if you need a hearing aid or not, but if you can't hear something unless it's this loud, I think there must be something wrong."

The twins, who were returning from the kitchen, gasped. "Max's sick again?!" Zach gasped as Zoe gulped down her cereal. "Does he have the yucky virus?! Are we gonna die?!" She screamed. Wanda sighed.

"No. Max just needs to be tested because he can't hear very well." Wanda corrected. "Sometimes, people's eardrums are damaged, or they're old and worn down, and they need to have a little tool inside to help them hear as well as other people."

The kids nodded solemnly. Zoe rubbed her chin. "Like a robot~"

Max realized something. "So that means I CAN get out now, Miss Wanda?" He squealed. His tail started wagging and poor Zach, who was standing there, was knocked down to the ground by the huge tail. "OH MY GODS I'M SO SORRY!" Max gasped as Zach cried at his knocked down choccy cereal.

Wanda took a deep breath. "Yes...but only to a doctor's appointment and nowhere else." she knelt down to help Zach clean his cereal off the floor. "Zach, please don't eat that." Wanda groaned when Zach took a handful to his mouth and began crunching on them.

"But I can't waste this! There's no more left!" Zach sniffled.

"We'll order more. Meanwhile, just share with Zoe." Zoe frowned and hugged her bowl. What?! This was HER cereal! She glared at her housemate, who shamefully tucked the tail between his legs.

-.-

The twins weren't sure what happened to Max, but Miz called Max's doctors ('The lady and mute guy' as Zoe remembered it) and they were mildly confused. Sure, they had hearing aids now that they were old, and sure their hearing got a little worse after transforming, but not to the point they needed people speaking close to them to hear. Zach and Zoe sat there, listening as they had nothing better to do.

'Our ears sucked' Dylan signed, looking annoyed. "Some had worse hearing than others, having ear fins helped that'

"My… my fins were cut off." Max admitted. The couple asked some more things and checked Max's ears (who they could see were in a bad condition) before confirming that Max would need a hearing aid. And those were expensive. Incredibly expensive. Wanda frowned. "Why would an item that lets people actually function in society be so costly?"

"Tell that to the companies selling insulin."

"..." Wanda stared. "But… people need that to not die."

"Exactly." the couple sighed.

"What the fuck is wrong with this country?!" Seb rubbed his temples. "Miz? Can you create insulin?"

"Heck yeah I can. I can even make all the different variations." Miz nodded, writing that down on her list. "Hm… gonna put a bunch of other medical supplies for sale on cheap for customers too…" she mused. Like good wheelchairs. Epipens. Other prescription drugs. She wanted to give them away for free, but anything free or too cheap got looked at suspiciously. So she still had to charge a good amount for stuff. It would still be waaaay less than what other people were selling this shit for.

Max rubbed his arm. Ok, he just needed to buy it. "So, from what I got, I still need to go to an...ear doctor, tell me how bad my ears are to get a good measure and get this...thing that will help me hear"

"...some of these go up to $300…" Wanda was gasping as she looked it up on her phone. "That is ridiculous!"

The Eix Leel couple (who had been teleported over to Seb and Wanda's house, decked out in full hazmat suits by Miz, who was paranoid) nodded. They weren't specifically ear doctors, they were just here in case Max's hearing issues were something other than his 'cursed to be human' biology. "Max will need to go to a human doctor to get the full diagnosis for just how bad his hearing is."

Max was left thinking about it when his doctors left. He told Mabel who actually looked shocked for not knowing. But to be fair, she was very loud, so Max could hear and there was no way she would have noticed any issue. Paper money. He hated paper money. He looked up what he needed to get and searched the low numbers. He might have that amount so it was good! Especially because he got some more from the occasional jobs he did around before quarr-antine. The great dragon offered to just make the hearing aids for him, but Max knew she was already making so many things for other people and he told her that he wanted to do something by himself for once. He felt bad for always needing them to help him. It made him feel useless.

Seb looked so worried for him though. Seb was sure (and he was right) that Max didn't really understand money. He was ready to blow his savings on that shit. If Seb had been in his position, he would have gone deaf before he even considered doing something about it. Money was EVERYTHING. Seb learned that the hard way through his life. And if he could get something without having to dish out his life savings for it? Hell yes.

But… Seb also understood how Max felt about not wanting to bother them. About wanting to do it himself, in his own way. Seb sighed. "Max, if something is unfair, it's fine to have help. And for medical expenses… I mean, Miz can make it for free. And she wants to help. We all do."

"But you all say the great dragon is using a lot of energy right now." Seb cursed, damn Max for remembering.

"I'm fine." Miz huffed with her hands on her hips.

"I don't really need to buy this right now anyway, I won't die from not hearing...right?" Max asked, just to be sure.

"If you want to pay me back for the hearing aid, I demand you make me dinner." Miz switched tactics. "As your GOD, I demand a FEAST!"

Max looked at Seb who nodded. "That's actually a good deal. And you keep your savings which is good! Keep as much 'paper money' as possible in your power!"

Max laughed. "Right. Fine. I'll make the feast, Great Dragon." Miz beamed at that. Multiple goals reached. Get Max to agree to her helping him with medical expenses, check. Get Max to have something to do during quarantine so he's not bored, check. Miz rubbed her belly. Get more food and worship so she would be able to do what needed to be done, check.

The twins, who had been observing this the whole time, yawned. What just happened? Adulting was so confusing.

Seb stopped. "WAit a second, hold on! Aren't you supposed to be connected for online classes right now with your mom? Waandaaa!? Aren't you supposed to be supervising today?"

Everyone except Max (for obvious reasons), heard Wanda's shout from the other room. "FUCK! Was it my turn?!"

Miz shook her head. Getting these two to be organized? No check yet.

-.-

The twins didn't fully understand what was happening. Apparently some kind of sickness was going around and their parents didn't want them to get sick, so they were all staying home. But they were upset because they hadn't been able to see Amanda in a while. Sure, they managed to get messages by having their big sis sneak a cellphone and charger over to Amanda's window so they could text each other, but it wasn't the saaaaaame!

"Why can't we bring Amanda over to play?" Zach asked his dad one day. Seb groaned. "Because Carol doesn't believe Corvid is real and keeps going out and breaking quarantine."

"But then Amanda's going to get sick!" Zach gasped in horror. He and Zoe looked at each other and nodded. They were gonna sneak Amanda out to live with them. Wanda noticed their look and immediately shot it down with a, "Nope. You can't take Amanda away from her family." she turned to give Miz a stern look as well. "And you can't do that either."

"""Awww…""" the three kids chorused. "Why not? If Carol is dangerous to Amanda's health, shouldn't we be able to-"

Wanda shook her head. "Unless we can get Amanda to testify in court against her mother, citing abuse or neglect in some way, I can't start a case against her. And even if we could , it wouldn't mean that we would get custody of Amanda!" Wanda exclaimed exasperated, believing that she had allowed this subtle Amanda kidnapping too much in the past already.

"Listen to law lady mom." Seb called from the couch, eating popcorn and generally loving being at home. Wanda cooed at his support but the twins were still very unsatisfied with the answer.

Like the technological kids they were, they grabbed Dad's tablet and contacted Diego. To have more insight into their situation! Diego was smart, maybe he knew what this Crow-Nah thing was all about. Diego groaned once they had the face-chat up. "Dad keeps complaining about everything. Dillon and dad are all mad at each other and mommy has a headache all the time." Diego told them. "You're all lucky you have each other. I've got no one to play with. Except Sasha and Aaron. Sasha's really good at hide and seek...Though sometimes I can't find her. Even after I told her that I gave up and she won." The little boy sighed.

The twins sighed. "We want to save our friend, but daddy says we can't." Zoe pouted.

Diego (in a very Ford like way) pursed his lips and stroked his chin. "Well, I don't know. You aren't supposed to let anyone into your house to play because they could be sick and kill you." Diego explained, also very Ford-like (if somewhat inaccurate for what quarantine was actually about). He wanted to be a scientist like his uncle, after all, so he was practicing 'scientist attitude'. "So I would recc-omend just video chatting."

"We do, with the phone that Miz made for us. But it's not the same. And Amanda always has to be very quiet so missus Carol doesn't hear us." Zoe complained. "Chatting's not the same as being able to throw things at each other."

"We throw pillows." Zach explained to Diego. "Miz has a LOT of pillows. We have to make sure we ask her first before we can play with them, though."

"You're all lucky you can play with another kid." Diego complained again. "It's so booooring here with just me! Why can't I have a twin?"

"Hah! Because you're laaaaaame~" Zoe sang.

Diego's face was very unimpressed. "Well if you're gonna be like that, I'm not helping."

"Wait! Zoe's sorry! You're not lame!" Zach said quickly. ("I'm not sorry!") "Miz says she wants to kidnap Amanda and replace her at missus Carol's house with a con-stuck. But she also says that mommy would be very angry if she did that. So how can we play with Amanda without making mommy angry?"

Diego rolled his eyes. Really. He was the youngest, but he sometimes felt like he was the older cousin. "Do you have to play with Amanda? I know she's your best friend but-"

"What if she gets sick and dies because missus Carol keeps going outside?" Zach sniffled. Diego sighed. "Why is missus Carol going outside? Doesn't she know about the crowro-croro-" Diego frowned and sounded the word out, "Corona virus?"

"She does! But she's STUPID!" Zoe screamed. "And she still doesn't listen even when we're not supposed to go out! And she's going to get sick! And then Amanda's gonna get sick!" Zoe punched the side of the bed they were lounging on. "I don't want Amanda to get sick and die just 'cause missus Carol is STUPID!"

Diego shrugged. "Don't know guys, maybe you just need to make sure she's not sick everyday, mommy is calling for dinner bye!" he closed out of the app.

The brother and sister nodded. That could be a plan. Watching Amanda everyday and if she got sick, they could call the grown ups for help!

They knew calling Diego was a good idea!

Their cool big sister was giving them an update on Amanda's health everyday. The twins were grateful for that. And the fact that Amanda agreed to try and keep distanced from her mom just in case.

Seb literally had never seen 6 year olds this aware of stuff and worried. He didn't remember being like that when he was their age, even though he was mentally much older than them (heck he was still not aware of stuff), and he was sure Dillon wasn't like that. It creeped him out a little bit.

Miz said new generations were just like that. He was still worried his babies were growing too fast. That was not happening under his watch!

"It's fine. I mean, I've been teaching them all sorts of things. And they're curious, keep asking me all kinda things about life and death and the nature of reality." Miz shrugged. Seb stared. "I don't think you should be explaining mortality to 6 year olds."

"I think I definitely need to explain it to them." Miz responded stubbornly. Seb groaned. "Are you still trying to convince them to be immortal?"

Miz wiggled in place. "I'm not going to try and influence their decision. I've been answering their question quite honestly." she wasn't looking at Seb though.

"Right." Seb pursed his lips. He guessed it was the same as when they explained where babies come from...He just hoped they were handling the situation well.

While Miz had been checking to make sure Amanda wasn't sick, she hadn't been paying much attention to Carol (since she didn't like watching Carol anyway, and even less when Seb said she probably had a fixation on him, gross) and so Miz didn't notice an incident until much later.

Max was outside with the twins, they were out on the front porch, just hanging out and getting some fresh air and sunlight. Zoe had grabbed a plastic ball and was throwing it into the air. On one throw it hit Zach's head and the little boy sobbed while he clung to Max.

"Oh it's ok, pup~" Max patted Zach's little head, even though he was internally laughing. The three were merely sitting out there, chatting peacefully, when a cop car suddenly drove up and some policemen came out with their guns drawn.

"Step away from the children!" One of the cops demanded.

((((((((((((((((((((((Warning for police brutality.))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Max's eyes went wide. He was so confused about what was happening. "We're all wearing masks!" He said, thinking that this was some pandemic issue?

"I said get the fuck away!" the policeman demanded again. Zoe growled at the man. "No! You go away!" She always heard daddy saying they were bad, and saying words she shouldn't repeat at them. So she didn't like them either! Zach, terrified by all the yelling, burst into tears as he gripped Max's hoodie even tighter.

One of the men strode right up to the porch and pulled Max away, restraining him by yanking his arms behind his back and Max growled, instincts kicking in. "Don't touch me!¡" That growl was met with the officer cold clocking him with the back of his gun, smashing the handle against the side of Max's skull.

Max cried out in pain, slumping over as his vision swam. Before he could get his bearings, the officer hit him again, dropping Max to the ground. And then Max wheezed when the officer kicked him in the stomach.

"HEY! STOP IT!" Zoe screamed, grabbing the man's other leg, pulling off her mask and biting down as hard as she could.

Max couldn't- could barely breathe as he laid there on the porch, curled in on himself, trying to protect his stomach and head. His head was spinning, there was a high pitched ringing in his head as well. He only barely made out the officer crying out in pain at Zoe's very sharp teeth. Zach was kneeling by Max, covering the older man with his arms, and crying as he tried very hard to shield Max from the scary policeman.

Seb, who decided to peak out his bedroom window when he heard noises and to check on his charges, frowned at the sight of a stupid police car. "What the fuck? They're arresting a dumbass kid outside..." Wanda, who was on the bed looking through some videos, frowned. Seb leaned forward and his eye widened.

"Wait a second, that's MY dumbass kid!" Seb screamed before rushing outside, almost tripping down the stairs in his rush.

"HEY! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY KIDS!" Seb screamed as he flung open his front door and took in the scene on his porch. His eye glowed and he caught the officer's hand right before the man could hit Zoe, trying to get her off his leg.

Was that fucking asshole really about to hit a 6 year old?!

Seb snarled. He heard Wanda behind him gasping, but that wasn't important right now. "I said- GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY KIDS!" Seb punched the officer right in the face, making the man stagger back as Zoe let go of him. She ran to her daddy's side and clung to his leg. "Daddy!"

"Seb! Don't!" Wanda was there, grabbing his arm and trying to hold him back from attacking the officer even more.

"He was about to HIT Zoe!" Seb screeched, his fist shaking. Zach was still sobbing loudly, terrified. The other cop who had grabbed Max as the first one fought off Zoe, held him in place by his arms, pressing Max against the hood of the police car. Zach was pulling on that officer's pants and demanding for him to let Max go, as the Eix Leel managed to take some shuddering breaths. At least this officer didn't seem to want to punch a 6 year old, but he was still attempting to put handcuffs on Max.

"I can file a report on him. But not if you get yourself arrested for attacking an officer!" Wanda hissed.

The officer Seb punched had finally caught his bearings, rubbing his face and looking up to see Seb and Wanda. His eyes flickered up and down Wanda (who was just in a nightdress, having not bothered to change out of her pajamas) before looking back over to Sebastian.

"We got a complaint of a suspicious individual who might be attempting to kidnap some children." the officer told them.

"There must be a misunderstanding." Wanda frowned. "That's Max, he's our ward. He's been living with us for months." "HE'S MINE!" Seb shouted at the officer.

"He resisted arrest." The cop said as if that explained everything.

Against his better judgement, Seb glared at the cop… before coughing on him. Deliberately. He and Wanda hadn't put on masks in their rush to get down here. That got him thrown against the car and handcuffed along with Max. Max stared wide eyed at Seb, who grimaced. "Sup!"

Wanda gasped. "Seb! Max!" She turned to glare at the officer. "This is all a misunderstanding! And you attacked an innocent man to begin with!"

"This boy matches the description we got. He resisted arrest, and your husband coughed on me. It was clearly a threat, on top of that, he attacked me earlier. So yeah, I'm taking both of them." The cop glared.

"You attacked my children!" Wanda was trying very hard not to deck the officer across the face herself.

"I'm just doing my job." the officer said curtly. And he turned away to head back to his car.

Seb shouted. "I regret nothing!" as he was shoved inside the car and Max kept pulling until he was forced inside as well.

Wanda massaged her temples. For fuck's sake...This is what she got for marrying an idiot.

-.-

Wanda called Miz (who had been cooking with the vents on and hadn't heard anything) to watch over the kids as she went to go get Seb and Max out (Though she was tempted to leave her husband there for having literally 1 functioning brain cell.)

Miz made some tea for the twins, who were sitting quietly on the couch, scared. Traumatized, really.

"Hey, you did a great job biting him." Miz tried cheering up Zoe, who just sighed. "Max didnt do anything wrong." the little girl complained in a softer and more uncertain tone than Miz was used to. The demon sat down beside her, wrapping her arm around her little sister. "See, the problem with cops, is that they let their power get to their head, start thinking they have free reign to do whatever they want. And if what they want is to arrest a guy for having brown skin, they'll do it. And they'll make up all the excuses they'd need to do so."

"But…" Zoe's eyes were wide. "That's not fair!"

Miz nodded solemnly. "You're right. That isn't fair at all. Not one bit." she growled lowly. "But they have guns and a badge, so they think they get to lord their power over others."

"And why did he hurt daddy too?" Zach asked softly.

"Nah, getting arrested was Seb's fault for being a dumbass and coughing at someone. Also punching the cop. I mean, the punching part was fine, he was protecting you." Miz ruffled Zoe's hair. "But he chose to cough on that man, with all this shit happening right now. He knew what would happen. The idiot." Even if the officer was a bitch, that was still gross as hell. Even if Seb wasn't sick, it was still a stupid move.

Zoe started hitting a pillow. "It's-It's not fair...Max is good!" Sure, he didn't let her bite his tail, or wear his pretty collar even when she said please, but he was still good! Zach sniffled, leaning over to cling to Miz's side. "I don't like mister policeman." he said quietly.

"I don't like him either." Miz assured him. "Hey~ do you two want me to make that man's life a living hell?"

And because the kids were not a very good moral compasses for the demon, Zoe screamed. "YES!" she straightened up. "Make him hurt! Just like he hurt Max!" Zach thought about it a little longer, but he rationalized that if the man hurt Max, it was only fair that he was treated the same way. Miss Honey at school always said to treat others how you wanted to be treated, so if that policeman hurt Max, then he should be hurt too!

Miz's grin turned absolutely malicious at the unanimous agreement from both her siblings.

"Alright~" the demon purred, her eyes glowing golden as she reached out and Cursed the man. It was a mild thing, just various bad luck things that would end with him getting injured every time he attempted to use his position and power to hurt someone. Things like tripping if he tried to attack an innocent, or a ricocheting bullet that would go straight into his own kneecaps if he tried to shoot an innocent~ just simple things~

Miz continued purring as her powers were quite happy with this course of action. "It is done." She rumbled.

The twins nodded were doing good. For Max! And for Daddy (because the meanie deserved that punch).

Hours later, Wanda finally returned with her husband and her ward, both looking down. Max looked ashamed and self conscious, while Seb was sulking for the 30 minutes of scolding he received in the car. They cleaned themselves with the sanitizer and Wanda made a note to have Miz check them over as soon as possible. "Go take a bath Maxi dear, and toss your clothes in the wash." Wanda said softly to the boy, and turned to glare at Seb. "Go take a fuckin' bath." She spat. As the two left, Wanda turned to look for the twins. They looked much happier and relaxed than they were this morning… suspiciously way too happy… But she didn't have the mental or emotional energy for that right now to wonder about what happened. She just announced that she was also going to change clothes.

"Okie, Mommy." Zoe said sweetly. Zach was sitting on Miz's lap as they watched something on TV together. Wanda raised her eyebrow but shook it off and went upstairs. Zach tilted his head back to look up at Miz. "Are they gonna get sick with the crow-nah?"

"They're fine. Luckily." Miz assured them. They all settled back down on the sofa to watch TV, relaxed and much calmer now that their parents and Max were home safe.

Still, the twins were never going to forget what happened today, exposed to the violence caused by those who they always thought were there to protect them. They lost a lot of trust that day, for the police, for the law enforcement, for the strange and unfair adult world.