A/N: Happy 2022! Thank you all so very much for your amazing reviews and encouragement.
"Mommy wins!" Sofia yelled as she ran to her blonde mother and gave her a high five. "Barely, by like a foot and aren't you supposed to be on both our sides? Like an equal opportunity cheerleader or something." Callie grumbled as she stretched her arms up, holding onto the back of her head as she walked around the track to catch her breath and cool off. Part of her, the teeny tiny, non-competitive, root for the underdog part, wanted her ex-wife to win. But most of her, the super competitive, bring-it-on part, wanted to blow the blonde away. So yeah, she was pouting just a little bit. But she couldn't help but grin like a damn fool when she saw that super-magic smile spread across those adorable, dimpled cheeks and pride flood from those ocean blue eyes. Arizona had come so far and the fact that she was sharing this, this part of her, meant the world to her. So that made losing just a little bit less painful. "Awe, Calliope, are you mad you lost?" the blonde asked as she walked up with a fake pout. Shaking her head, Callie responded, "Just give me a minute, I demand a rematch! Best two out of three." Arizona laughed as she walked up behind her and patted her on the ass, then leaned up to whisper in her ear, "I'd gladly let you take the lead if it meant getting to see that ass in those shorts." Smiling at the complement and open display of affection, Callie winked and returned, "Why do you think I fell behind?" as she made a show of craning her neck to look at the blonde's ass which actually looked magnificent in the tight fitting running shorts. Gasping at the thought the other woman let her win, she saw right through the playful smirk and started towards her water as she flipped her hair over her shoulder and tossed out, "Cuz I'm faster, and I'm awesome." Just as she started to respond, Callie's phone started vibrating in her pocket. "Oh you're so lucky! I have to call the office, then I'll meet you at the starting line blade runner." Callie called out and listened to her voicemail before returning the call.
After grabbing her water bottle, Arizona looked around to put an eye on her daughter who had disappeared shortly after their little race. She let out a sigh of relief as she settled on a nearby bench to rest her leg. She had only started running again, well jogging actually, and wasn't used to pushing herself in an all out run. But when her daughter instigated the little race between her moms, the competitive side in both of them flared up and neither could resist. She just didn't want to pay for it later, but she knew she couldn't race again today. She hoped Callie wouldn't be too disappointed, but she also knew she would understand. She hated these limitations surrounding her body, but this is when she had to remind herself that things could have been so much worse and the fact that she was here and alive and able to run in any capacity was a blessing. She closed her eyes at the thought of how close they came to Callie having to bury her wife as well as her best friend and raising Sofia without two of her parents. Damn, she had so much to say about this topic. She could see not only the damage she did in Callie's eyes whenever something came up about the leg, but she could also see the devastation she caused. She could only pray it wasn't too late and after she said what she needed to say, that fear and reticence she sees in her ex's eyes, the tension in her body, will start to recede and maybe one day won't be there at all.
Hearing Callie call Sofia over broke the blonde from her thoughts. She looked up to see the brunette walking towards her with all their belongings. "Hey, I'm really sorry, but I have to go to the center. There's a post-op patient who is being extremely difficult and causing quite a fuss. Do you want me to drop you and Sof at home first?" Callie asked apologetically and handed over her prosthetic case. Arizona expertly released her running blade and swapped it out for her regular titanium prosthetic and replied, "I'd really like to see the center. If that's okay." She was actually excited to see Callie's new center. She had heard and read about it of course but seeing the ortho surgeon in her element was something she was really looking forward to. "Should we go home and change first? How far away is it?" Callie grabbed their bags and started for the car, "We can grab some scrubs when we get there. The center is actually located in a medical park in Brooklyn, so it's about a 20-30 minute commute. I didn't want to be in the city proper for several reasons, but the main one being I knew I wanted to live here and the commute was too far if there were an emergency." Nodding in understanding, Arizona grabbed Sofia's hand as the three made their way to the parking lot.
Callie was nervous. Nail-biting, chewing her bottom lip, white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel nervous. As much as she wanted to take her ex-wife and daughter to the center, HER center, her very own stand-alone orthopedic and prosthetic surgical center, and show it off, share it with the two most important people in her life, she was scared to death because the whole premise behind it was started when Arizona lost her leg. Very much like her house, when the blonde took one look around, she would know she was the muse for Fresh START. She knew Arizona had changed and has not only accepted but has embraced her disability, but she had no idea how she would react once she saw everything. The blonde was so angry when she started working on her robotic leg and wanted nothing to do with it. She understood that though. She had been so angry when she felt her wife had chosen the fetal fellowship over growing their family, over saving their marriage, she refused to watch her first solo surgery or even acknowledge the second specialty for a long time. She knew she had to trust in who Arizona had become and not who she was. She had to let go of the past, they both did, or this wasn't going to work, they weren't going to work.
Arizona sat quietly as her two companions chatted away and her daughter asked a million and one questions about all her friends and people she knew here. It totally slipped her mind that Sofia has never been to Callie's new center either. But based upon their conversation, she must know some of the staff. Looking over at the other woman, she noticed the tightness in her jaw, tension in her shoulders, and the nervous glances she was sending in her direction every few minutes. Not knowing exactly what was bothering her, Arizona could only assume it had to do with her. God she hated this. She really needed to fix this. Reaching her hand out and resting it on Callie's thigh, she started drawing small patterns with her fingers trying to relax the other woman. Seeing some of the tension dissipate, she said softly, "Calliope, I already told you, what you are doing here, it is amazing and awesome and I am so very proud of you. Whatever has you worked up, let it go okay?" Glancing over quickly, Callie could see the sincerity and allowed herself to release the breath she had been holding. Nodding in understanding, she smiled softly and lowered her hand to link fingers with the smaller one resting on her leg.
Feeling Callie relax, Arizona sat back and enjoyed the remainder of the ride. She sat up once Callie turned into a long driveway that led to a number of large newer looking buildings. Based on the huge empty lot and construction vehicles, she could see they were still adding to the grounds. She gasped as Callie pulled into a lot and parked her car in front of a huge 5-story building with red lettering spelling out Fresh START. Looking up, she couldn't help the pride she felt as she noticed the small parking sign that read, 'Dr. C Torres, Founder.' Pointing, she said, "Sof, look at that. Mama's such a big deal she gets her own parking spot." Sofia clapped and said, "Yay mama. Come on, I wanna see the rest." Then she quickly unbuckled herself and scrambled out of the SUV. Callie blushed as her family oohed and aahed over the building and the sign. Walking into the huge lobby with floor to ceiling windows, they were greeted by the receptionist, "Dr. T, thank goodness you are here, he's driving everyone on the 3rd floor crazy. Oh and look who's back. Come here mini-T." Sofia ran toward the older woman as she came around the counter and threw her arms around her as she excitedly rambled, "Auntie Lorraine! I missed you so much. Mommy, this is Auntie Lorraine, this is my mommy, Arizona Robbins, she's a doctor too. She operates on tiny humans." The blonde smiled seeing how happy her daughter was to be back…well home…and with her new hospital family. Arizona was surprised when she heard, "Oh honey, we all know who your mommy is. Dr. Robbins, it's such an honor to finally meet you." Reaching out and taking the extended hand, the blonde smiled then turned to send a confused questioning look over her shoulder to the brunette who simply shrugged her shoulders. Callie felt her nerves start to bubble up again.
"Okay little miss, how about you stay here with auntie Lorraine and tell me all about Seattle while your moms go see about the grumpy patient?" the older woman asked as she moved back behind her desk. Sofia looked to her parents for approval and seeing them both nod, quickly shuffled behind the desk. Callie led them down the hall to the left to a small storage closet. Opening the door, she grabbed two sets of black scrubs and handed one to the blonde as she said, "We can change in my office." She then led them a little further down the hall and unlocked the door. "The bathroom is through that door." She offered as she pointed to the other side of the room. As soon as the blonde shut the door, she quickly changed into her own scrubs. Emerging from the bathroom, Arizona was immediately reminded how much she loved seeing the Latina in scrubs. Turning to ask her ex-wife a question, Callie laughed at the look on her face. "Still Arizona?" Realizing she was caught, the blonde smiled sheepishly, "What can I say?" Callie just shook her head. There was no way she was going to let on that she too got turned on by seeing the smaller woman in scrubs and she looked especially good in the black material. "We'd better head up before Bill drives the nurses to quit." The ortho surgeon offered only half teasing.
"JUST GET THE HELL OUT! GO!" the man in the bed yelled at the beautiful blonde woman whose green eyes were brimming with tears as she stood huddling in the corner of the darkened hospital room. "I SAID GO!" he barked in military fashion as if he were giving orders to his troops. His face was red with anger and his voice was laced with hatred. The blonde woman cried out to him begging him to stop. Hearing the yelling from the elevator, Callie and Arizona both ran down the hall to the room from which the noise was emanating. They both knew the scene all too well. They lived the same scene over and over numerous times. Both surgeons entered the room and Callie looked at the woman in the corner knowing all too well what she was feeling, "Crystal, why don't you go down to the cafeteria and get some coffee. We will call you when we're done." Arizona stood at the door and took in what she saw. A man sitting in a hospital bed radiating pain and anger. The lower half of his body was covered with the thin blanket, but she could see that his fist was balled up and pushing at the empty space where his right knee should be. Recognizing what was happening, she stopped the woman, clearly his wife, as she started to leave. "No, no. You aren't leaving except to go to the nurse's station and ask for a full-length mirror. Tell them to hurry." She gave the directive in a stern but affectionate voice as she laid a hand on the other woman's arm and gave a gentle squeeze. Both Callie and the man in the bed snapped their heads to look at the blonde surgeon in the doorway. She stood impassive staring back at them, then with measured steps, walked straight to the side of the hospital bed.
As she reached out to push the remote buttons on the bed to lower the bottom and raise the head, she spoke to the angry man for the first time. "What's your name soldier?" she asked in the military tone her father had always used when he meant business. With no choice but to respond, the man in the bed answered curtly, "Bill." She smiled then, not her super-magic smile, but her tight angry smile. "What branch?" she asked. "Marines." He responded, then continued when he saw her smile soften. "It's all I ever wanted to do. My dad, my grandfather, all my uncles were military. It's all I know and now it's over." he bit the last words out harshly. She straightened up then and looked him in the eye and tilted her head just slightly to the left. "Why?" she asked confused. This made him angry, and he ripped the covers back to show her that he only had one leg. "THIS! This is why. I can't very well fight for my country with one leg! I am done, I should've just died over there." he hollered at her, his face becoming red again and his hand immediately going to his missing leg. Just then they heard a gasp from the door where Crystal stood with a mirror in one hand and the other raised to cover her mouth. "You don't mean that!" she cried. "I DO! I'M NO GOOD! GET OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Callie stood at the foot of the bed taking in the interaction between the man and his wife and the man and her ex-wife. Arizona walked to the door, gently took the mirror from the other blonde's hand then pulled her in and shut and locked the door. "Go over to the other side of the bed and watch and listen please." The blonde doctor quietly directed the wife.
"I SAID I DON'T WANT HER HERE! I DON'T WANT ANYONE HERE!" Bill yelled again. Nodding, Arizona walked to the bed holding the mirror. "I heard you, I'm just not listening because you are lying." she stated unemotionally. "What?" he barked. The blonde surgeon looked at him again and said, "I said you are lying, you want nothing more than to break down in your wife's arms, but you already feel weak, so you won't do it. Now I am going to place this mirror next to your leg and I want you to focus on the mirror. Don't look at me, don't look at your wife, don't look at Dr. Torres. Focus only on the mirror." Arizona placed the mirror so it was aimed at the man's intact leg. For a moment, he only stared at her huffing and rubbing at his residual limb. She stared right back unforgivingly and then tilted her head toward the mirror. Slowly his gaze shifted to the mirror and his body started to relax after a few minutes. His breathing evened out and the hand that was furiously rubbing his residual limb finally slowed to a stop. After several minutes of staring at the mirror, he finally rested his head back on the pillow and nodded at Arizona allowing her to take the mirror away. She lifted the mirror and placed it against the wall within his reach. She spoke again, her tone gentle. "What you just experienced is phantom limb pain. The more upset, stressed, and angry you get, the more it will happen. That is only one of many options to trick your brain. It is the quickest and works well." She then looked at Crystal and directed, "If you don't have one of those at home, you need to get one today." The small blonde only nodded her affirmation that she was listening.
In a softer tone now, he looked at the two surgeons and directed, "I don't want her in here while you examine me." Callie nodded her understanding and looked sadly at the man's wife, knowing how helpless she felt at this moment. Arizona, on the other hand, was having none of it. "You don't want who in here?" she bit out. "HER!" Bill spat as he pointed angrily at his wife. The blonde surgeon stiffened, "What's her name Bill?" she ordered. He glared at Arizona then seeing she wasn't backing down, he looked at his wife and for the first time his face softened. "Crystal. Her name is Crystal, and I don't want her to see me like this." The blonde surgeon then looked at her ex-wife but continued to speak, "What are some things you love about your wife Bill?" The patient rested his head back against the bed and rolled his head to look at his wife. He smiled softly and said, "She has this amazing smile, she's so good, I mean, she's just a genuinely good person, and her heart is so big, she's so loving and caring and forgiving and she's just…she can't see me like this, I'm not who she married." He stopped and looked down at his hands. Those words cut straight to Arizona's heart. She knew exactly what he was feeling and what he was doing to his wife and his marriage. She looked into brown pools shimmering with unshed tears. "I hate to break this to you Bill, but she IS going to see you like this. For as long as she puts up with this bullshit attitude you've got going on, she's going to have to see you like this. If you love her huge heart so much, don't keep breaking it!" She directed her gaze back to Bill. He sat up straight and said, "Get out! You can't talk to me like that! What the hell do you know? Get out!" The blonde surgeon didn't move. He then looked straight at Callie and said, "Who is this? Why the hell is she here?" Before she could answer, Arizona spoke up. "I'm you Bill. Nearly six years ago, I sat where you are now." He stared at her unbelievingly. "You stepped on a land mine?" he snapped at her. "What do you know, you have two good legs."
Still having her shorts on under her scrubs, Arizona took down her pants then sat down in the chair by his bedside and released her prosthetic and set it on the bed next to him, pulling herself up with the bedside rail. Callie was shocked. She knew this wasn't something the blonde was comfortable with. But here she stood in front of a stranger making herself completely vulnerable. Arizona stared at Bill blankly. "No, I was in a perfectly good plane with 5 other doctors when all of the sudden it blew apart and we fell out of the sky and the entire door with the steps still attached landed on my leg. I was married to an orthopedic surgeon and I sat on a mountainside staring at my bones for 4 days. You were a soldier who dedicated your life to God and country to protect your fellow man. I was a pediatric surgeon who saved dying kids. It shouldn't have happened to us. We are good people. My first name is Arizona, I was named for the battleship where my grandfather gave his life to save 19 men. My father, a colonel in the Marines spent his whole life honoring that sacrifice and taught his children to do the same. He raised me to be a good man in a storm." At that phrase, Bill's whole body went to attention. The blonde surgeon knew he would recognize the sentiment. She continued, "But it doesn't matter how prepared we are, we aren't prepared for this. We aren't ready to lose a part of our body and we don't know how to function without it." It was then that Crystal cut in, "but you're the same person you were before this happened." Bill put his head down and Arizona took a sharp breath. Before she could respond, Callie spoke up for the first time. She first looked at her ex-wife then at the other blonde and spoke softly, "No, he's not. He may look like the man you fell in love with and for you, nothing is different because you love him just like you always have, more so because he is alive, but everything has changed for him. From the first moment he discovered his leg was gone, his whole world turned upside down. He's angry, he's mad at the military for sending him to war, he's mad at me for not saving his leg, he's mad at you for not understanding him, and mostly he's mad at himself for not knowing who he is or where he belongs anymore." The two surgeons were looking at one another now, both recognizing the truth that took them so long to figure out.
Arizona looked at Bill again, "But you see that woman right there? The one wearing the same wedding band as you? She didn't marry you for your leg, I mean, hey it's a nice leg and all…" She stopped when he snorted. "But she didn't promise to love and honor your leg. She promised to love YOU in sickness and in health. This is where your vows will be put to the test. You've already started breaking them Bill." His head snapped up and he furrowed his brow in question. "The very first time you yelled at her and didn't allow her to do her job as your wife, you started breaking your vow to honor her." She looked at her ex-wife then with her eyes full of sorrow. When brown eyes raised to meet hers and she recognized she had been heard and saw the understanding in those gorgeous chocolate orbs, she continued, "It will start there. But if you don't let her in right now, if you don't let her go on this journey with you, you will live to regret it. You think you are being strong and protecting your wife and you can do this alone. But when you get home and you've chased all your nurses away and you find yourself sitting in your own piss on your bathroom floor, it's Crystal who will drag your sorry ass into the shower and clean up your mess. Once you are up and around on crutches, Crystal will be the one who carries your plate or your drink for you because you can't do it with two hands holding crutches. When you are having these phantom pains, you need to let her in and let her help because when you hurt, she hurts. Every time you try to go it alone or shut her out, you are causing more damage. I guarantee you, it may be two weeks, it may be two months, hell it may be two years from now, but one day she is going to wake up and realize she can't fight for you anymore. She is going to realize in trying to save you, she lost herself. You will be so lost in your own shit you won't recognize it until she is standing in front of you with tears running down her cheeks telling you that she is stuck and alone in your marriage and you won't even be able to go after her because you'll know it is true. You'll know that you are the one who led you both to that point and you owe it to her to let her go and be happy. No matter how much you still love her, or how much she loves you, you will ruin her if you keep up with this monster attitude. Let her in Bill." Without waiting for a response, Arizona put her prosthetic leg on grabbed her pants and walked out the door.
The man and wife sat quietly in the room and stared at the orthopedic surgeon who stood with unshed tears in her eyes staring at the empty doorway. Bill finally spoke up, "She's the reason you do this? She's why you work with vets and create robotic legs?" Callie looked at him then and let her megawatt smile break free just thinking of her ex-wife and how far she's come. "Yeah, she's the reason." He looked at her hand then and noticed the lack of a ring. "You aren't married anymore." He stated flatly, almost seeming defeated. The ortho surgeon's face dropped then and her gaze fell to the floor. "No, it's been almost four years since I walked out, until a couple days ago, I hadn't seen her in almost two years." The man's wife spoke now, "You still love each other." Callie smirked then, "That obvious huh?" Bill nodded, "She's sorry, she knows she fucked up." The brunette nodded. "Yeah, seems that way." Bill looked at his wife and held out his hand and she quickly took it. "Go to her. We will be okay." Callie nodded and walked silently out of the room to find her ex-wife.
Rushing down the hall, looking into every room, Callie nearly ran over her head nurse as she turned the corner. "Whoa Torres, where's the fire?" Stepping back, the ortho surgeon said, "Oh thank goodness. Maria, you have to help me find Arizona. We were talking to Bill and…and she left and I think she was upset…have you seen her?" The head nurse smirked at the other woman, knowing how she felt about her ex-wife. "Calm down Cal. I saw her come out of the room and pretty much knew exactly who she was, so I let her in the lab." Callie sighed in relief then her head snapped up. "In my lab?" Furrowing her brow in confusion, the nurse nodded. "Yeah, she looked upset and I just…" She was cut off when her boss turned and ran down the hall muttering, "Shit, shit, shit!"
Thanking the nurse who let her in, the blonde surgeon turned and walked further into the room, her eyes darted around at the tables and walls and finally landed on the table in the middle of the room. She walked to the table and her eyes widened as she focused on the object in front of her. Arizona was overcome with emotion once she recognized exactly what she was looking at and processed the significance of it all. She stood frozen as she stared at an exact replica of her left leg. Hell, if she didn't know any better, she would swear it WAS her leg. Small fingers brushed along the length from top to bottom. She moved closer and began to thoroughly inspect it. Resting her hand on the upper thigh, she noticed the skin tone was a perfect match to her own and…the freckles…freckles and moles were placed almost exactly where they once were on her own left leg. She ran her hand along the top of the leg and stopped briefly when she felt the rough patch just below the knee. She smiled a little at the memory of her 10 year old self skating over some gravel in the driveway, falling, and skinning her knee. Slim fingers slid further down and moved to the outside of the calf. Blue eyes closed and a slight chill ran through her body when she felt the raised scar above the ankle, her first ever sex injury compliments of a certain orthopedic surgeon. Moving closer still, she turned the leg and saw a small teardrop shaped birthmark placed exactly where it belonged just above the back of her knee. Glancing further down the table, she noticed a monitor and she realized this was the robotic leg. She turned as she heard the door burst open and locked eyes with Callie who stood stock still in the doorway with a look of pure terror on her face.