A/N: Hopefully I am back on schedule. With all the tough stuff out of the way, we will be picking up the pace now. This chapter is a day in the life... I hope you enjoy.
Arizona awoke slowly, instantly missing the weight and heat of Callie's body resting atop her own. Turning onto her side to curl into her girlfriend, her breath hitched at the sight before her. Callie was lying on her back, her short hair was messy and tousled from sleep, her face was bare of even the light touch of make-up she had taken to wearing, her normally caramel-colored complexion was slightly darker, almost the color of coffee with a dash of cream, and there was a smattering of freckles splashed across the bridge of her nose and high cheekbones from her time in the sun. But what made the blonde's heart race, took her breath away, was the younger, nearly identical face that rested just under her chin. Based upon the deep even breathing and soft snores, it was clear that both her loves were still sound asleep, yet they were wearing big illuminating smiles with just a hint of the sparkling white teeth beneath. Arizona had no control over the smile that bloomed on her own lips nor the tears that sprang to her eyes at the sight. A sight she hasn't awoken to in over four years. A sight she thought had been lost to her forever. A sight she could wake up to for the rest of her life. Resting her head on her elbow, Arizona lifted her hand to trace the lines and contours of each beautiful face. She smiled and stifled her laughter as her daughter scrunched and wiggled her cute little button nose reminding her of a baby bunny. As soon as her finger began its light exploration on the older Latina's face, she noticed the smile spread even wider and her heart leapt when Callie mumbled her name indicating that even in her sleep she recognized her touch. Unable to hold back, she leaned over and kissed the forehead of her daughter then the lips of her girlfriend, smiling internally when she instantly reciprocated.
Callie could feel her body gradually becoming more alert and when she felt soft lips touch hers, she promptly responded and immediately felt the tingle that always accompanied Arizona's touch. Hoping to get a little private time with her girlfriend, Callie smirked and husked out, "Good morning." As she attempted to roll over, she realized for the first time she was being held down by something. Finally opening her eyes and looking down, Callie saw her daughter was tucked under her arm, still fast asleep. She smiled and looked up into cerulean blue eyes that were glistening with unshed tears. Raising her brow in question, she asked, "What is it?" Arizona shook her head and scoffed at herself as she said, "You'll think it's silly." Callie lifted her free hand and caressed the warm alabaster cheek and responded, "Nothing you feel is silly. What has you teary eyed honey?" Arizona brought her hand up to trace Callie's mouth as she said, "You still smile in your sleep. I woke up and you were smiling this big, beautiful smile and I still find you so miraculously stunning, I just…" shrugging her shoulder she continued, "I've always loved waking up to that smile and doing it again, realizing it's a pleasure I get to see every day…I don't know, and then I saw our daughter on your chest with that same beautiful smile and remembered I haven't woken up to this sight in years…it just…" She shrugged her shoulders again and her lip quivered as she continued with a shaky voice, "I lost this…lost sight of it, for so long, even before the divorce and it's these little things, waking up to the two people I love most, seeing your smiles, watching you study scans, how you interact with my parents, how quickly you jumped into caretaker mode, everything we've shared this past week, all these pieces of my life that I didn't realize how much I missed until I had them again. I just, I appreciate and love you so much, I never want to lose that again." She lifted her hand and rested it on Callie's hand that was still caressing her cheek, holding it there, needing the connection.
Callie could feel the tears stinging the backs of her eyes and tried not to get emotional. She remembered Arizona saying the same thing in therapy, that she loved how she smiled in her sleep. At the time, she was upset that her wife never told her those things, never expressed her love verbally. It appeared that Arizona heard her, that she understood she needed the words too. Leaning up and brushing their lips together, Callie whispered, "That wasn't silly at all. It was beautiful and it means so much to me to hear you say that. Waking up with you next to me again, spending time together, it has been everything to me. We both lost sight of these things, they may seem little, but what I've learned during our time apart is that they are the most important things, the day to day pieces that made up our life together. We both lost it, but we found it again, we found each other again. That's what's important. You are whole again, I am whole again, we are whole again, we have another chance. We get to wake up as a family and have breakfast in bed and hold impromptu dance parties and go places together, we get to tuck our daughter in at night and I get to fall asleep looking at your gorgeous face. We have another chance, so it's not silly that you feel that way. It's beautiful and I love you for it." Lost for anything else to say, Arizona leaned in and brushed their lips together in a sweet chaste kiss, keeping it light since their daughter was in the bed with them.
Both women broke into a fit of giggles when they heard, "Did you say breakfast?" coming from the drowsy little girl who sat up and was now rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Before either of them could answer, Sofia looked at Arizona and scolded, "Mommy, you aren't in your bed! I went in your room to find you and you weren't there." Arizona reached out and smoothed sleep tousled brown hair and looked to Callie and nodded. Callie smiled at their daughter and explained, "Mommy and mama are sharing a room again baby girl. Mommy will be moving her things in here." Sofia got a big grin on her face and asked, "So we are staying for good? We are a real family again?" Both women nodded and Arizona looked to Callie with all the love in the world in her eyes and confirmed, "We are a real family again." Sofia punched her fist in the air then quickly yelped out, "Ow ow ow ow ow." The smiles on both women's faces were quickly replaced by frowns as they scrambled to console their ailing daughter, who, in all the excitement apparently forgot she was injured.
Callie carefully lifted the bandaged hand and held it in front of her to examine it and asked, "Oh, baby girl, how are you feeling today? Does it hurt a lot?" Sofia shook her head and answered, "Not a lot, just when I did that. I'm a little sore, but I can still do stuff." Her eyes got big then and she looked at both mothers expectantly as she asked, "Can we still go to Central Park today? I really wanted to meet Jessica and Steven." Arizona glanced up at Callie and saw the brief flash of disappointment cross her face when she remembered she had plans as well. Callie started to explain, "Probably not today honey, grandma and grandpa are…" Not wanting Callie nor Sofia to miss out, Arizona cut in and suggested, "Why don't you go pick what you want me to cook for breakfast and mama and I will talk about it okay?" Both brunettes agreed and Sofia scrambled off the bed and headed for the kitchen.
Watching their daughter leave the room, Callie turned and said, "Arizona, we can't leave your parents alone to fend for themselves the first time they've ever been here." The blonde sighed, knowing her girlfriend was right, then suggested, "Maybe we can't go to the park today, but that doesn't mean you should cancel. This is really important to you and I don't want you to miss out because of my parents." Callie took her hand and said, "I appreciate that, I do, but they are OUR family Arizona and I just wouldn't feel right leaving today. I want to make sure they get settled." Arizona nodded in understanding and said, "How about this? I'll call mom, check on dad, ask when he is being discharged, you call Stevie and see what their plan is and then we decide?" Callie nodded in agreement. She was really looking forward to spending time with Stevie and their friends, but she didn't want to leave Arizona alone either. Getting off the bed, she grabbed her phone then asked, "Did you want to loan your power chair to your dad or should I have one sent over from the center?" Arizona thought about it for a minute then said, "I haven't even thought about that. I think mine might be too small for him, do you have any to spare?" Callie rounded the side of the bed and pulled Arizona to her feet once she had her prosthetic on and wrapped her arms around her waist as she answered, "We have a few extras and it will only be for a couple of months. They can bring it back or it would be a good excuse for us to get out of the city for a few days before school starts again." Arizona smiled and lifted her hands to Callie's face as she said, "You are amazing." She then pulled the Latina's face to hers and captured her lips for a proper good morning kiss. Pulling back slightly breathless and more than a little turned on, Callie answered, "Mmmm that was amazing." She then leaned in for another kiss as Arizona stepped away saying, "Don't start something you can't finish. Come on, let's go check on our daughter before she decides to try to cook breakfast on her own." Callie huffed in frustration and mumbled, "You started it, not me." Arizona chuckled and continued down the hall.
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Sofia stabbed her fork into her pancake and pouted, "Why couldn't we have chocolate chip pancakes?" Arizona rolled her eyes at her daughter's whining and said, "Because mama bought these fresh raspberries the other day and I promised I'd make her favorite pancakes with them." Callie sat down with her plate and said, "Besides, I am certain you had all the ice cream and cookies and whatever else you asked for when you were with your grandparents, so a little fruit won't kill you." Callie took a bite of her pancakes and groaned in appreciation as she said, "Oh these are so much better than I remember. Thank you for making breakfast Arizona." She then bumped her daughter's elbow and nodded toward the blonde. Huffing out a breath, Sofia sulked, "Thank you for making the pancakes mommy." Both women shook their heads at their daughter and Arizona responded, "You're both very welcome. I figured you'd want me to save the chocolate chips for grandma anyway. I'm sure she'll want to make her famous chocolate chip cookies while she's here." She laughed as both Latinas said at the same time, "Grandma's cookies are the best." "Ohhh, I've missed Barb's cookies." Sofia finally bit into her pancake and said, "Mmmm this is good mommy. Thank you." Arizona just smiled at her daughter and continued eating. When they were finished, Sofia asked, "Did you decide about the park yet?" Arizona shook her head and said, "Not yet, when I called grandma, the doctor hadn't done his rounds yet. She said she'd call as soon as he left. How about you get cleaned up and ready for the day and by the time you are done, we should know okay?" Sofia nodded and started toward her room then turned around and took her plate and silverware to the sink. She didn't want to give her parents a reason to say no.
Callie collected the rest of the dishes and carried them to the sink to rinse them off as she said, "Stevie said they were all rather busy today but are meeting up for coffee at a little shop in Brooklyn at around noon. If you're sure it's okay, I'd still like to go. I'll only be about an hour or so." Arizona turned from wiping down the stove and said, "It's more than okay Calliope. This is important to you so it's important to me. I was thinking about inviting Jordyn and the kids over here, they could swim and we have that huge playset Sofia hasn't even touched yet. Then maybe we could all go to Central Park together someday soon." Callie started loading the dishwasher and responded, "That sounds like a great idea. I have some waterproof bandages in my kit under the sink for Sof. You don't think your dad will mind having extra people around?" Arizona shook her head no and said, "I doubt they will be discharging him right away today. Mom said his blood pressure was still pretty high last night and Brian wanted to keep an eye on it. He still hasn't had anything to eat and they'll want to monitor his appetite and everything else before they let him go. By the time they get here, you'll be back and Jordyn and the kids will probably be gone or getting ready to leave." Callie started the dishwasher then went to Arizona, pulled her in her arms and said, "You've got it all planned out huh?" She looked around to make sure their daughter wasn't coming before she bent down and took Arizona's bottom lip between her teeth and nibbled on it before sliding her tongue across it and slipped it between bare pink lips. Arizona moaned into the kiss and wrapped her arms around Callie's neck holding her closer and deepening the kiss. Callie slipped her hand under the hem of Arizona's tank top and splayed it across the warm skin of her lower back. Breaking the kiss she whispered, "You think we have time for a quick shower?" Arizona looked down the hall again, smiled lasciviously, and started pulling Callie toward the bedroom.
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Stepping into the small bookstore/coffee shop, Callie saw Stevie sitting on an over-stuffed chair waving her over. She wasn't sure what she expected, but this wasn't it. She supposed when she allowed her mind to get away from her, she pictured a dark smokey room where she was surrounded by people who looked like her sitting in a circle drinking bad coffee denouncing their gender like some sort of fucked up AA meeting. Laughing at herself, she came back to her senses just as she heard Stevie say, "This is my friend…" Callie looked up then, realizing her friend was waiting for her to say whatever name she wanted to use, almost without thinking she supplied, "Cal, hey nice to meet you all." She then shook hands with everyone and tried to remember their names and the personal information they divulged. There was Jo, owner of ENBY Jo's, who was wearing tailored suit pants, a short-sleeved dress shirt and vest, Tracy who she learned was in the beginning stages of transition and was a care-taker at the Central Park Zoo, Ray or Ramona, wearing a long flowy skirt, who also happened to own the store she was currently in, then there was Jen, dressed in non-descript clothing who was an attorney and neither gay nor non-binary, but chose gender neutral terms as a political statement due to the male dominated field they had chosen as a career. Other than the brief introduction where some shared a little more about themselves than others, they mostly talked about work, kids, shared funny stories, and asked her a million questions about being a doctor and surgeon. What was her weirdest case, what was the worst thing she ever saw, why did she choose orthopedics; the same stuff everyone asked, even other doctors. Realizing she had nothing to be nervous about she just allowed herself to enjoy the company of strangers who were quickly becoming friends.
After a while, everyone broke off into their own conversations and Callie was content with just relaxing on the small sofa with her coffee taking in her surroundings. She made a mental note to bring Arizona here knowing she would love the atmosphere. Feeling someone sit down next to her, Callie looked over to find Jo with their arm outstretched holding a book for her to take. Looking down at the title, Callie asked, "Life isn't Binary?" Jo nodded and said, "Stevie told me a little about you. I found this book really helpful. There were parts that I could swear I wrote myself." Callie took the book and said, "Thanks, I'll take a look at it." Jo looked at her and squinted then said, "I think I saw you in the store the other day with your wife and daughter, pretty blonde woman, little girl with dark hair, your complexion?" Callie couldn't ignore the thrill she got at hearing Arizona being referred to as her wife and chose not to correct them, so she just responded, "Yeah, she insisted I buy the clothes I felt comfortable in. I ah…got this outfit there actually." Jo smiled then reached in their vest pocket, pulled out a card, handed it to Callie and said, "Yeah, I thought I recognized it. If you ever come back in, show them this, it'll get you a discount." Callie took the card, pulled out her wallet, stuck it in one of the slots and retrieved one of her own cards and laughed as she said, "I wish I could return the favor of a discount, the best I can do is say if you ever break a bone or have a difficult pregnancy, give us a call." Jo then furrowed their brow in question and Callie explained, "My, ah… Arizona, she's a maternal-fetal surgeon, she's opening a clinic soon." Jo opened their mouth and nodded in understanding then looked around before asking, "So you know other types of doctors right?" Callie nodded and noticed the blush that started creeping up the shop owner's face. Jo looked around again and lowered their voice as they explained, "Um, finding ah certain doctors, for…people like me, and trans men who haven't had the surgery yet…it's kinda hard, there aren't a lot of them who we feel comfortable with, even the ones who claim to be LGBTQ friendly, sometimes it feels like they are judging us." Callie's eyes widened as understanding dawned, then she furrowed her brow as she realized she never even thought of that as a concern, she always went to Addie or one of the OB/GYN's in the hospital. But now that she thought about it, she could see where that could be a big concern for many people. Finally she responded, "Arizona may know some people we could refer you to. I'll ask and let you know." Jo smiled and said, "I need to get back to the store, my wife Becca is in her first trimester and I don't like leaving her for too long." Callie held up the book and said, "It was nice talking to you, thanks for the recommendation." Jo replied, "Anytime." and walked away.
Callie sat drinking her coffee and thumbing through the book before reading the foreword and introduction. Based upon what little bit she'd read; this was exactly what she needed to help her understand what was happening with her. Looking up, she saw Stevie sit down in the chair across from her and said, "Thank you for inviting me. I've had a really good time." Stevie studied her for a moment then asked, "How are you feeling about everything?" Callie looked down at the book then back up as she answered, "Honestly, I have a lot of questions. But I feel better now that I know what has been nagging at me and it helps knowing this is normal, that I am not alone. So, yeah, I feel good, like myself for the first time in a long time." Stevie nodded then asked, "Is there anything I can help with?" Callie took a deep breath and asked the thing that seemed most pressing, "You ah…you seem so confident and sure of yourself, how did you…did you just wake up one day and…" Stevie snorted, "Oh God no! It was a whole process, like I told your kid, it started when I was younger. Look, you said you were bi right?" Callie bit her lip and nodded. Stevie continued, "When you realized you were interested in women, you didn't just wake up one day and decide you liked women did you?" Callie thought about the whole mess with Mark and Erika and laughed, "Ha! Hardly." Stevie nodded then said, "And I am guessing, when you first figured out you were attracted to women, you fought it, questioned it, whether it be because of your upbringing, your job, your friends' reactions, the whole stigma around homosexuality, it took you some time to work through it." Callie nodded, remembering her talks with Addison, Mark, Christina, and Meredith and her own thought process at the time. Stevie then suggested, "When you finally admitted there might be something there, do you remember looking back at times in your life and thinking, 'Ohhh that's why I reacted that way to her' or 'I guess I have always been intrigued by women' things like that?" Callie smiled, feeling like this person completely understood her process and answered, "Yeah, that's exactly what it was like." Stevie nodded and suggested, "So, apply that same line of thinking here." Callie furrowed her brow trying to understand what was being asked of her.
Stevie saw the confusion and tried to think of a way to explain it, seeing Callie brush her hand through her hair she said, "When you came in and asked me to cut your hair, what prompted you to do that?" Callie shrugged and said, "I don't know, it's just, well, honestly, I've been doing a great deal of self-exploration, a lot of reflection, making changes to my life and myself and for the longest time, I didn't recognize the person I had become, inside or out. When I finally started feeling like myself again, inside, I would look in the mirror, see the long hair, the make-up, the form-fitting clothes, the curves, and it didn't fit…me. I didn't feel like that person, that woman anymore. I didn't feel like a woman or a man, I mean, sometimes I feel like neither, sometimes, it's like, I feel like I could be either. At the time, I thought it was just time to change things up on the outside too, but…I don't know, with the cut, came the clothes, the way I looked at my body, the way I felt about myself. The way I wanted others to see me. When I got my hair cut, started wearing more neutral clothes, it's like I was starting to recognize myself again. I finally looked like the person I felt like." Stevie nodded in understanding and asked, "With that recognition, did you happen to remember other times in your life when you would look in the mirror and not feel like the person you saw in the reflection?" Callie looked down at her hands and said, "Yeah, a lot actually. I remember several times when I was younger thinking I didn't fit, feeling like I didn't belong in the clothes I saw, that my thoughts and feelings didn't match the image, the body. But part of me just thought it was the stuffy clothes, the image my parents made me project. I was a woman and I had to dress this way, sit that way, say these things." Callie was starting to understand now, starting to see the process was similar. It's almost as if a lightbulb went off and she smiled finally feeling like she knew what was happening inside.
Seeing this, Stevie smiled and asked, "And now?" Callie looked down at her clothes and responded, "And now, I just feel like me. I don't feel like a man or a woman, I don't want to be seen as a man or a woman, just a person, I mean, well kind of, and maybe that's where I'm confused. I don't want to be a man in the physical sense, I don't want to alter my body, but I am more comfortable in these clothes, presenting like this. Then there's this whole other part, I…um…I love the way Arizona looks at me, touches me, the way I feel when we are intimate. During that time, I don't have any issue with my body, I enjoy my body, the way I feel, the way she makes me feel." Stevie tilted their head then explained, "That's your sexuality, your sexual orientation, not your gender." Callie closed her eyes briefly, trying to grasp the concept then said, "I don't understand." Stevie continued, "It's hard, but you can't confuse the two. Your sexuality is focused upon how your mind and body respond to another person, no matter if you or they are male or female, or otherwise defined. Your gender identity is a social construct, it's your personal concept of how you identify yourself based on social norms, no matter your biological makeup. Your gender expression is how you choose to present yourself to the world. As non-binary, I am saying, I don't see myself as a woman or a man as they are defined by society, I am not focusing upon the physical body or the clothes others designed for it and I am choosing not to allow others to either." Callie shook her head and laughed as she asked, "And I've been doing all this subconsciously? Like, until recently, until Arizona pointed it out to me really, I didn't consciously think about it, or maybe I was fighting it, I don't know." Stevie smiled and said, "You've been doing it for a while and yes, you've been fighting it. I don't know what all your self-discovery was about, but once you finally found peace within yourself, your true identity was able to surface. Maybe you were fighting it until you saw how your family would respond, I mean, I know that's what I did."
Callie studied her new friend for a moment and allowed herself to reflect on her journey for the past year and a half and finally saw that the other person was absolutely correct. She also realized she was no longer questioning; she had found her answers within herself. Finally she asked, "So did you like, come out to people, declare you were non-binary? Change your name?" Stevie shook their head and said, "Not really, I mean, when I met new people, I introduced myself as Stevie, my other friends picked up on it. The only people I really talked to about it other than my doctor was my wife and daughter. Jordyn and I sat down with Jess and just talked to her much like I talked to your daughter, who is very perceptive by the way." Callie smiled then and said, "Yeah, she's great, we really haven't talked about it, I haven't felt the need to really. After we left your shop the other day, we went shopping and I was trying on clothes and she told me how handsome I looked and asked me if I felt like the person I was inside. When she asked that, I knew she understood what you said and that I was feeling the same way." Stevie fake sniffed and wiped their eye as they said, "Awww Torres, you're gonna make me cry." Callie scoffed and said, "Shut up."
Stevie sobered up and asked, "When you discovered you were bisexual, you didn't announce it right?" Callie shook her head and said, "No, not really, I had this brief thing and some figured it out, then I started dating Arizona. A couple people asked, but really, nobody said anything. Well, except my dad." Stevie nodded and offered, "People who know you, they'll get it, they'll see, some will ask, or at least ask what pronouns you prefer, others will just use they/them regardless. Jordyn is the only person I let call me by my full name, to others I was always Stevie or Steph. But around other people, unless I am in trouble, she will use Stevie. Today, you introduced yourself as Cal, so that's what we will call you from now on." Callie furrowed her brow and asked, "I did?" The other person nodded and continued, "You did. That's how it started with me too. I just used Stevie without thinking about it. The people who care about you and respect you, will do their best to honor your choices. Other people will never get it. My folks, they don't have anything to do with me or my family. But I am okay with that because they would only hurt them with their negative talk." Callie smiled sadly and said, "Yeah, my parents are strict Catholics, my dad came around, thanks to Arizona, but my mom, I haven't talked to her since Sofia was born. I don't know what he will do with this." Stevie nodded, "It sucks, but we can't live to please them, to please anyone. You have to live for you Torres. If you are feeling so strongly that you are changing your appearance, then you've already decided to live your life as the person you are inside." Callie nodded and asked, "How do I know I'm doing it right?" Stevie finished their coffee then answered simply, "There's no right or wrong. When you look in the mirror and you're happy with the person you see looking back at you, that's when you know you're doing it right. What people call you doesn't matter. It's a matter of respect sure, but what you see, who you see, that's what's important." Callie nodded as she realized she had already done most of the work, now she just had to live her life.
Stevie stood up and said, "I need to get back to the shop, one of my stylists couldn't make it in today, so I have to cover for him." Callie stood up as well and said, "Thanks again for inviting me." Feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket, Callie pulled it out and smiled as she saw a message from Arizona, she then looked up and said, "It looks like Jordyn and Arizona decided I am grilling chicken and hot dogs for lunch so I had better head out too." Stevie laughed, looked around, lowered their voice, and said, "I'll deny it if you repeat this, but don't let my wife cook. She could burn a salad." Callie threw her head back and laughed as she said, "I'll keep that in mind and now that I know that I'll make sure to send a plate home for you." The shop owner put their hands together, bowed and said, "Bless you." They then turned and made for the exit. Callie picked up the book that was recommended to her and went to the register to check out. After talking to the store owner for a bit and learning they held different poetry readings and other events Arizona might enjoy, she left the store and headed home.
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Arizona stood at the kitchen counter preparing to marinate the chicken when she heard Callie's text tone. She couldn't help the smile that formed and picked up her phone trying not to laugh as she read what her girlfriend said.
C: I'll be home soon. Stevie said don't let Jordyn cook.
A: I won't. You're doing most of the work. I'm making a salad and opening a bag of chips.
C: I can't stop thinking about our shower this morning. Love you.
A: Me neither. I may need a cold shower just thinking about it.
C: Wait for me. LOL
Arizona smiled and decided not to reply. It wouldn't be a good idea to get them both worked up with company here and her parents arriving later.
Jordyn walked into the kitchen just as Arizona was putting her phone down and said, "I finally got Steven out of the pool. He's out in the yard playing with the girls. I'm rethinking our decision to get them a pool if it's going to be this much trouble trying to get him out." Arizona laughed and said, "Sofia is the same way, I thought we were going to have to fight her more about going in on her own. But we've only been here a week and have been pretty busy, so time will tell." Jordyn smiled at that and said, "I swear the day after you called Cal was walking on clouds. We'd been listening to 'Arizona this, Arizona that' for months. I guess that's why I feel like I know you." Though it was obvious that Callie thought about her and planned for a possible future together, it warmed Arizona's heart to hear she talked about her to other people. She smiled and asked, "How much do you know?" Jordyn tilted her head and smirked as she asked, "How much does your hairdresser know?" Arizona dropped her head in her hands and said, "Oh God!" Jordyn laughed and said, "I'm sure I don't know all the dirty details, but I know you two have had a rough go of it and I know I have never seen Cal this happy." Arizona said, "Rough is one way to put it, but yeah, we are pretty happy." She covered the marinating chicken, put it back in the refrigerator and pulled out some vegetables to make a salad.
Standing at the sink, preparing to wash the vegetables, the blonde asked, "Can I ask you something?" Jordyn nodded and said, "Sure shoot." Arizona tilted her head and asked, "Except for when you were talking to me, you and Stevie only call her Cal or Torres…did she, is that what she said she'd like to be called?" The brunette thought about that for a moment and responded, "No, she's never said anything, I didn't even realize we did that. For me, I think I am just so conscious of other people's gender identity because of Stevie and when Cal started making the changes, it just…she looked less like Callie and more like Cal to me." Arizona nodded and continued washing the carrots as she asked, "Was it hard? Switching to Stevie and using they/them? I mean…that's not what I mean. I'll put in whatever effort I need to so Callie feels comfortable and safe and respected, I just…I know I'll forget and mess up and…" Jordyn walked to her new friend and said, "I forget all the time. To be honest, when we are alone, um you know, being intimate, I call them Stephanie, oh and when I am mad. It was always our thing, almost like a term of endearment and they are okay with that because like they told Sofia, we are family. They know I don't do it to be stubborn or disrespectful." Arizona breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Okay, that's good to know." Jordyn smiled and said, "Some people change or shorten their name, some use different pronouns. It's a matter of preference, there's really no hard and fast rule. Sometimes that can be confusing in itself. Just ask her. She may not even know what she wants or prefers yet." Arizona nodded then carried the vegetables to the center island and handed the other woman a knife and some of the produce. She bit back a smile when she realized just how true her girlfriend's text was. Watching the other woman handle a knife was a little scary, especially for a surgeon.
The two women finished washing and cutting the vegetables and scraped them into a bowl just as they heard the garage door opening. Jordyn looked over at the blonde and laughed at the goofy grin that crossed her face as she said, "Oh, you've got it bad!" Arizona could feel the heat rushing up her cheeks as she said, "Yeah, I do." Just then Callie walked into the kitchen and asked, "You do what?" She walked straight over to Arizona, kissed her on the cheek, and whispered in her ear, "I missed you." Arizona smiled brightly and returned, "I missed you too." Without even a bit of hesitation, she turned and kissed her girlfriend on the lips then answered Callie's question saying, "Jordyn said I've got it bad for you and I agreed." Callie put her arm around Arizona's waist and turned to Jordyn who complained, "You two are sickening. I'm going to check on the kids." All three women laughed as Jordyn disappeared through the patio doors. Arizona turned into Callie, brought her hand up to the back of her head and pulled her in for a searing kiss and Callie brought her hands to Arizona's hips pulling her closer. Breaking the kiss before it got out of hand, Arizona smiled and popped her dimples as she said, "Hi." Callie stole another kiss and responded, "Hey." Running her hand across the light stubble on the back of Callie's head, Arizona asked, "How was it?" Callie released her full mega-watt smile and answered, "It was good, really good. Stevie and I had a good talk and I met some great people, including the owner of the store we went to the other day for my clothes. I'll tell you all about it later. Thank you for encouraging me to go." Arizona tilted her head and studied her girlfriend's face. She truly did look happy, lighter. Finally she leaned in for another kiss and pulled back saying, "I can't wait to hear everything. Right now though, we have three very hungry kids on our hands, so get your ass in gear Torres." She then stepped back and swatted said ass as she walked to the refrigerator laughing at the squeal that came from Callie.
After lunch, all three women joined the kids in the pool splashing and playing games. At the moment, Callie and Jordyn were teaching Jessica and Sofia how to float on their backs and Arizona was hanging out in the shallow end with Steven who had taken quite a liking to her. As he started to get fussy, she figured it was probably time for his nap and rather than interrupting the impromptu swimming lesson, she decided to put him down herself. It was apparent he was tired as she had no problem getting him out of the pool. Drying them both off, she wrapped him in a dry towel and sat on the double lounger and rocked him to sleep. Looking down at his peaceful little face, Arizona felt her heart skip a beat as she took in his olive complexion and black hair. As Sofia felt more confident, Callie let go and looked up to get Arizona's attention so she could see their daughter swimming on her own. Her stomach flipped as she found Arizona on the patio looking down at the little bundle in her arms. The look on her face was reminiscent of how she looked at Sofia whenever she rocked her to sleep. She was such a natural and didn't even realize it. Trying not to think about what could have been, Callie turned her attention back to her daughter and their company.
XXXX
True to Arizona's prediction, Daniel wasn't discharged until later in the afternoon. Brian wanted to get another set of scans and x-rays just to be sure everything was set correctly and Daniel was going to heal properly. Callie is almost certain her former colleague would have been more sure of himself had this not been her family. Either way, Daniel received the best care possible and that was what mattered to her. Their company was long gone, sheets changed, house tidied and dinner in the oven by the time Barbara pulled into the driveway. Callie helped Daniel into the chair she had sent over earlier and showed him how to work it, certain he would want to gain his independence as soon as possible. Once everyone was inside and settled, Arizona took her parents on a quick tour of the house. While Barbara, Arizona, and Sofia were in the kitchen putting the last touches on dinner, Daniel went in search of Callie who was in her home office gathering everything she needed to go back to work in the morning. Knocking on the door, he entered when Callie waved him in. Callie felt her stomach tie into knots as she saw who was at the door. She loved the man but he was intimidating as hell.
Fighting her nerves, she smiled and asked, "All settled in?" Daniel nodded and said, "You have a lovely home Callie." She smiled brightly then said, "Thank you, it took a while, I had the whole place gutted, but it's exactly what we envisioned." Hearing the we, thinking of the accessibility of the entire house, Daniel furrowed his brow and said, "You designed it this way?" Callie nodded then walked around the front of her desk and leaned on it as she explained, "I know you don't agree with me ending my marriage. I could have done things differently, but at the time, we were in a really bad place Daniel, I didn't see any other way. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. I handled a lot of things wrong after that and I will always be sorry for how I went about things. Once I got here, cleared my mind of everything, the memories, the reminders, the outside influences, I was finally able to see things clearly. I wasn't here long before I realized what a mess I had made. It was then that I started getting my priorities in order and started working on getting my life back, working toward getting my family back. So yes, when I bought this house, I bought it with Arizona in mind. I made sure she would have no problem getting around and included everything we ever dreamed of. I had every intention of contacting her and starting to reconcile, she just beat me to it when she decided to move out here."
Callie stopped and studied the older man's face. He was giving nothing away. She took a deep breath and said, "I can understand how you might worry about us moving quickly or getting caught up in the moment. But I have been planning for this, wanting this, for over a year. I can't regret walking away because it led us here. We are both stronger better people and I believe we will work this time because we know what we have to lose." Daniel nodded then and said, "I was concerned, but after hearing Arizona defend you so strongly…" He shook his head and smiled as he said, "She doesn't do that often, talk to me like that. So to have her do that, to see that fire back in her eyes, to hear you both declare your love for each other, I'm not worried Callie. You have always taken care of her and done your best by her. I didn't like it, but if I am being honest, I understand why you felt you had to walk away. She was lost for a long time and did some unacceptable things. She had to hit rock bottom to find her way back and losing you was rock bottom for her. You both got hurt, I'm just happy to see you happy again." Callie could feel the tears stinging her eyes and reached up to wipe them away. She smiled when the older man opened his arms to her. Bending down to give him a hug, she whispered, "I will take care of her, I promise." He nodded then responded, "Just make sure she takes care of you too. Okay?" Callie smiled and said, "She is." As she stood up, they heard Barb calling from the other room telling them dinner was ready. Seeing her dad and girlfriend enter the dining room together, Arizona immediately saw the proof that Callie had been crying and her entire body went rigid preparing to face off with her dad. Callie saw the flash of anger in Arizona's eyes and rushed to her side, kissed her on the cheek and whispered, "Calm down killer, it was a good talk." Arizona turned and looked into dark chocolate eyes searching for any hint of hurt, seeing none, she instantly relaxed then pulled Callie's chair out for her and waited for her to sit down.
Over dinner Barbara gushed over the care they received at the hospital and said, "Every parent wants to believe their children are the best at what they do, but I really had no idea how well-known and highly regarded you girls are in the medical field." Both women blushed and Arizona responded, "We're awesome." Callie just chuckled and continued eating. Sofia looked to both of her moms and asked, "Did you always want to be doctors?" Callie shook her head and said, "I wasn't sure I wanted to be a doctor until I joined the Peace Corps and went to Botswana. That's when I knew." Arizona nodded and said, "I really can't remember wanting to be anything else." Barbara laughed and said, "Ain't that the truth. One time I walked into the dining room to find Timmy lying on the table, his shirt off and ketchup spread all over his chest. Arizona was what only 5 or 6 years old at the time. She was standing on a chair wearing one of Daniel's white dress shirts like a doctor's coat, my headphones from the stereo in her ears with the adapter on his chest like she was listening to his heartbeat." Callie could almost picture a chubby cheeked little Arizona, her wild curls tamed into two pigtails, blue eyes sparkling with mischief in an oversized white shirt pretending it was a doctor's coat. She threw her head back in laughter as she said, "Oh my God! That is classic." Barb laughed along with her and said, "Oh honey, that's not the best part. She had my sewing kit wide open on the table next to her. To this day I am convinced she was going to stitch that boy up. When I saw what a mess she made of Daniel's shirt I scolded her and she just turned to me, put her hands on her hips, got this defiant look in her eye and said, "Daddy's a soldier, he's used to blood on his clothes." Daniel bit back his smile as he looked at his wife and said, "You told me the dry cleaner ruined that shirt. What else did you get into while I was off fighting for your freedom?" Arizona blushed and popped out of her chair rushing to the kitchen as she asked, "Anyone need a refill?" Making everyone at the table laugh.
After making sure her parents had everything they needed and helping her father into bed, Arizona walked into what was now their bedroom and smiled as she saw Callie already sitting in bed reading a book. Or attempting to read a book as her lashes kept fluttering closed as if she could fall asleep at any minute. Sliding in the bed next to her, she released her prosthetic, leaned it against the wall and rolled over to face her girlfriend. She read the title of the book and asked, "Did you pick that up today?" Callie nodded and said, "Jo, from ENBY Jo's recommended it to me. It's interesting, I feel like I can really relate to what is being said. But Stevie answered a lot of my questions today." She then looked down at the blonde and could almost see her wheels turning and asked, "What are you thinking?" Arizona cocked her head trying to figure out how to ask her question, finally she just said, "What do you want me to call you?" Callie smirked, set her book aside and wrapped Arizona in her arms and started kissing her neck then asked, "You mean when you're screaming my name as I make you fall apart?" Arizona giggled and pushed her away as she said, "I'm being serious. Have you given it any thought?" Callie pulled back and breathed deeply as she said, "I really haven't thought about it. Stevie pointed out that I introduced myself as Cal today. But, I don't know, I'm not sure how important pronouns and all that are to me. Right now, I'm just starting to feel good about who I am, how I am presenting. There are some things I am still trying to figure out. I mean, I love the way you say my name. I've waited four years to hear you call me Calliope again. Only you can say it in that way that sends a shiver down my spine. It's like our special thing you know. I don't want to lose that, take that away. For now, I just…I just want to do what comes naturally. If that changes, I'll talk to you about it first." Arizona nodded in understanding and brushed their lips together in a soft gentle kiss. Pulling back she said, "I get that and I am so proud of you Calliope." Callie smiled, slid down on the pillow and pulled Arizona on top of her making her squeal out in laughter and said, "Now about that screaming my name thing." She then set about to assuring that Arizona did indeed call out her name.
